//------------------------------// // First Date: Fluttershy Part 3 // Story: Short Hand // by Andrew Joshua Talon //------------------------------// Short Hand A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfic By Andrew J. Talon Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan based parody. MLP:FiM is the property of Hasbro and Lauren Faust. Please support the official release. - - - Chewie flew down into Canterlot, Fluttershy up alongside me. Thank God the song had ended. I mean, I love Aladdin. The actual Aladdin, not the shitty live action remake. Not that I have anything against Will Smith, but everything else sucked. Why do I have such strong memories of that terrible movie rather than something more useful, like Ulysses or Moby Dick or my calculus classes? Anyway, the point is, creepy magic making me sing Disney songs is disturbing. It was only thanks to the fact Fluttershy was cuddled up to me, a nice, cuddly pony, that kept me from being too pissed off. "The roof please Chewie," I said, "you'd scare everyone." Chewie grumbled in irritation. I sighed and patted his shaggy head. "I know, I know. Look, just don't eat any ponies or their pets and Fluttershy will get you a seal." I looked over at her. She beamed at me. "An elephant seal! He recently died so he's aged up properly," Fluttershy said. Chewie growled in thought, then nodded as he angled in for the rooftop of Gordon's restaurant. He came to a smooth landing, and I slid down. Fluttershy came down after me, as I caught her. She blushed deeply and clung to me tightly. Chewie growled a question, and I shook my head. "If we need you, we'll call," I said. "I promise." Chewie huffed, and settled down like a cat on the rooftop. He rested his chin on his paws, still grumbling. I scratched behind his ears, and he seemed much less aggravated. Fluttershy nodded happily at my actions, and I smiled back. We headed to the fire escape, and walked down it. We reached street level and walked around to the entrance. A door pony nodded and smiled as he ushered us in. The inside was sleek and modern, all flat and based on platonic solids. The kitchen was visible through glass, and ponies and griffins worked hard to prepare meals. The floor of the restaurant was flat, cube shaped tables holding hundreds of ponies animatedly talking and eating. A griffin with blonde feathers was waiting for us in the lobby, dressed in a white chef's coat. He gave us a warm smile, and clasped his claws together. "Ah, Sir Shepherd and Lady Fluttershy! It's a pleasure!" He said in a rough, Received Pronunciation English accent. "Welcome to La Noisette!" He turned to his waiter, breathing hard. "Get them the private table!" "Yes sir," the pony waiter said, holding up a hoof in a salute. Gordon's brows twitched. The waiter turned to us, and gestured to his right. "This way, please." We followed the pony waiter to several plain cubicles underneath the magical lighting. The door slid open, and we went in. There was a circular table in the center, with two ergonomic chairs. Cube shaped lanterns floated overhead, casting the cubicle in warm candle-like light. I pulled a chair out for Fluttershy, and she sat down. I then settled into the opposing chair, as the waiter bowed. Gordon brought some water in glasses with a pitcher, which he set in the center of the table. A pair of menus were hoofed to us, and we both took a look at them. Thankfully it was in English... Or Equish. I don't know, the translator spell is weird. "I'll handle these two, Green Field," Gordon said. "Yes sir," Green Field replied, nodding. He backed out of the private cube, as Gordon looked at us with a happy smile on his beak. Yeah, I didn't know how that worked either. "So, what can I start you off with?" He asked. "Um," Fluttershy began, "I would like, uh... The fried brussel sprouts?" "That sounds good," I said. "I'll take that too. With the aioli." "Excellent, excellent," Gordon said cheerfully. His brows twitched severely, and I could see a vein in his right eye. Fluttershy coughed gently, and our own eyes met. I nodded back to her, and cleared my throat. "Uh... Gordon? Are you all right?" I asked. "Just fine, why do you ask?" The griffin's wings were now twitching. Fluttershy tapped her hooves together. "Um, uh... You seem... A bit tense," she said diplomatically. "Yeah," I said. "Honestly, you seem very similar to a chef back on my world. He's named Gordon too." "Really?" Gordon asked, tilting his head quizzically. "What's he like?" I opened my mouth to say some kind of platitude, but at his latest eye twitch I decided against it. "He's incredibly talented and passionate, and very angry, acerbic, and swears like a sailor," I explained. Gordon sighed, his wings drooping. "Oh, that was me too," he admitted. He puffed up proudly. "Once, I could curse up a storm! My apprentices feared me! I used to say stuff like 'This fooking salad is so dry it may as well have been made of straw!'" The griffin then sagged again. "But I got a bad review from some noble, and so I had to tone down the 'verbal violence'," he explained. He grinned, unnaturally wide. "It's okay though! I got me customers back! Everything's fine!" His claws were digging into the table. Fluttershy coughed. I reached out to try and shield her. "I see," Fluttershy said gently. "I'm very sorry about that." "I'll be okay," Gordon twitched. "Now... Would you like to see the wine list?" "Please," I said urgently. The griffin turned and headed out, the door sliding shut behind him. I pulled back from Fluttershy, who was blushing deeply. I smiled at her, and she awkwardly smiled back. "So," I began, "um... We haven't had a lot of times to ourselves to just talk, have we?" "No," Fluttershy admitted. "We've been so busy saving the world and fighting evil and doing, um, charity work." "Which is pretty cool," I replied. Fluttershy nodded. "So, um," she began. "How did you get to know... Such a famous chef?" "I made friends with a Prince," I said. "He's pretty chill, actually." Fluttershy smiled. "He sounds nice," she said. "He is," I admitted, "if a bit stuck up. He's kind of like Rarity as a stallion. But prissier." Fluttershy giggled. "That's hard to imagine," she admitted. "I don't have to," I deadpanned. We both laughed. The laughter faded away, and our gazes slowly drifted away from one another. I tried to think up something else to talk about, but I'd run through most of the subjects I'd thought of. The silence dragged on. I blinked a few times and cleared my throat. Fluttershy looked over to the side, tapping her hooves together. I smiled at her, and she smiled back. "So," I began, "um... Your dress is very nice." "Ah, thank you," Fluttershy replied softly, "Rarity fixed up a dress I wore for modeling." "That's good," I replied with a nod. The silence returned. Fluttershy was tapping her hooves together more, as she shrank in on herself a bit more. She began muttering to herself softly. I blinked a few times. She rubbed her hooves together anxiously. "So," I tried again, "how well did you like modeling?" "I... Um..." Fluttershy slowly shook her head. "I didn't like it. At all. To be honest, um, I really hated it." She trembled a bit. "I mean, it meant so much to Rarity so I stuck with it, but I just couldn't handle all of the attention." "Oh," I said with a nod. "That's why I got us a private booth. So you wouldn't feel so awkward." Fluttershy nodded back. "Oh thank you," she replied. "That was very thoughtful." I licked my lips. "But is it working?" I asked. Fluttershy hummed. "Um... Well, it is. Mostly," she said. "I-I mean, I'm not thinking about all of the eyes outside. Right now. Looking at us," she said. She winced. "Now I am," she mumbled. She looked down at the table. Well great, now I felt like a heel. I had assumed Fluttershy would be fine in a nice, private booth. I knew how averse she was to crowds. I just thought this would work. "I'm sorry," I said. She winced. "No no, I'm sorry. I used up my conversation points early, and now I can't remember the rest of them." Three guesses who had provided those conversation points, and the first two don't count. Well, maybe I could still fix things. "It's okay," I said quickly,"it's okay, we can just talk about other things. Like, what interesting animals have you seen in the Everfree Forest lately?" Fluttershy managed to relax a bit. "Oh. Well, I did see a flan," she said. "They're gelatinous omnivores that are related to slime molds. Only much bigger, and they have eyes and mouths." "A flan huh?" I asked, grinning. "That sounds... Kind of horrifying, actually." "Oh, they can be," Fluttershy said, her shoulders sinking just a bit lower as her tension faded. "But they're actually very sweet when they're not hungry. You just need salt to keep them away." "That's useful to know," I said with a nod. "Also, they can't move very fast," Fluttershy went on, positively animated now. "They're ambush and trap predators. You have to watch your step where they lurk." "Well, this is why I ride Chewie in the Everfree Forest," I said with a grin. "Say, he doesn't hate that, does he? I've asked him but he never answers directly." Fluttershy shook her head. "Oh no. You're battle brothers. If you're not fast enough, you will be carried. You're a team, after all," she said. I was leaning forward, and I rested my hands on her hooves. She started, blushing cutely. Then she looked up at me, and smiled warmly. I returned it. The tension was dissipating even more. "I'm glad to know that," I said. I raised an eyebrow. "So, how are you feeling now?" Fluttershy started. She looked around us, and beamed. "I... I'm feeling a lot better, actually," she admitted. "Is that all... Is that all a date is? Just talking?" I nodded. "Yeah," I said. "What did you think we were going to do?" Fluttershy blushed bright red, from her hooves to the top of her head. She had gone as still as a statue. I coughed, and shook my head. "I mean, I didn't mean we'd jump right to that," I said earnestly. "We don't have to! Not that I don't want to..." I think. I mean, I didn't think I was quite ready for rishathra. I just didn't want Fluttershy to think it was still difficult for me. I mean, I still wanted my women to have boobs on their chest. Mostly. Okay, this isn't a helpful direction to think in, is it? Stupid brain. Fluttershy mumbled something under her breath. I blinked. "Huh?" I asked. A camera flash went off above us. I winced and looked up-Into another barrage of camera flashes. "GAH!" I shouted, covering my eyes. "WHAT IN THE-?!" "What a scoop!" A stallion cried. My vision cleared enough to make out several pegasi with cameras over us. "Supermodel and Element of Kindess Fluttershy on a date with Shepherd the Human Knight!" "Oh, um, if you could, I mean, please don't, I mean," Fluttershy began to stutter, as she drew back in on herself. Another pegasus dropped down, holding out a microphone. "Are you two engaged? How will the other Elements feel about this? Or is it a herd?" He cried. I sucked in a deep breath. Stay calm, stay calm... Don't let Fluttershy cuddling up tightly to me out of fear affect my judgement. "Are you lovers?!" He further pressed, ramming his microphone into my nose. I covered my nose and groaned. "OW! All right you son of a-!" "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!" Fluttershy bellowed, flipping the table up and sending the pegasus paparazzo slamming through the double doors of the booth. He tumbled out into the main dining area. My anger was temporarily forgotten as I watched the chain reaction. The pegasus slammed into a waiter with a full platter, sending all of his dishes flying through the air and landing in the faces of dozens of diners. One diner, a unicorn in a fancy frock coat, immediately waved his hooves and sent his own food flying into the faces and laps of other customers. One noble pony stood up in fury, slamming his hooves on the table. "Now see here-!" He shouted, just before a lemon meringue splatted him. A noble unicorn lady wiped her face free of custard and growled. "You dare to throw a custard in my face?! TAKE THAT!" "FOOD FIGHT!" Shouted someone else. The entire dining area descended into a furious culinary conflagration. I saw Gordon emerge from the kitchen, looking aghast. "Wait, wait, see here!" He shouted. "You all need to stop this! Stop it right bloody now!" A plate of spaghetti landed on his head. He blinked a few times, and licked the sauce. His eyes burned with unholy rage. "YOU BLOODY USED TOO MUCH BLOODY GINGER YOU PILLOCK!" He roared. He seized upon a smaller griffin with a cart full of pies and desserts. He had been trying to find shelter in the kitchen, but Gordon had captured him. He turned to the chaos, and held up pies in his wings and claws. "YOU BLOODY BASTICHES! YOU CALL THAT PIE FLINGIN'?!" Gordon bellowed. "TRY THESE ON FOR SIZE, YOU PANSIES!" He began pelting his diners and waiters with pies. I blinked and looked over at the trembling Fluttershy. I gathered her up in my arms and charged out into the fray! "WAIT!" Another paparazzo cried, "what kind of pies do you prefer for a food fight?!" I ducked under a flung fettuccine, and grabbed a chocolate cream pie. I tossed it into the face of the paparazzo, sending him reeling back. "Whatever's handy!" I bellowed. I charged out the front doors of the restaurant, followed by flying pies and cakes. Fluttershy trembled, and looked up at me with teary eyes. "I'm... I'm so sorry," she mumbled. I sighed. "Me too," I mumbled back. - - -