//------------------------------// // Yay // Story: Short Hand // by Andrew Joshua Talon //------------------------------// Our modern Western world became so advanced and so prosperous that people just started feeling kind of guilty over it. And that guilt of course was used to fund all sorts of terrible ideas. Like the Chinese Communist Party, Greenpeace, and U2 concerts. But I was actually feeling guilty over something more relevant, and I went to the most understanding pony I knew to talk about it. I knocked on her door, and she opened it up slowly. She smiled warmly at me. "H-Hello Shepherd," Fluttershy said, "what brings you by?" I smiled. "I uh, I wanted to stop in and talk with you. If that's all right?" I asked. Fluttershy beamed, and nodded. "If you'd like. Let me get us some tea," she said. I walked in, and sat down on her couch as she got the tea ready. She trotted back, and set the tea set down with some cookies on the coffee table. She then sat on the couch next to me. I sucked in a deep breath, and put my hands together in front of my face, gathering my thoughts. "You-You can have tea before you start to talk, if you want," Fluttershy murmured, "or-or not... Whatever you'd like..." "I just..." I sighed, "I feel... Guilty, I guess." "About?" Fluttershy asked. "Dating us all? You haven't even gone on your dates with the others yet." "No, not that. Well, it's sort of related to that," I managed. "Basically. for the longest time I didn't... I mean... Urgh!" I patted the sides of my head and groaned. "Why do I turn into a freaking teenager over this crap?" "It's okay. I won't judge you, I promise," Fluttershy insisted. "Okay, okay," I managed. I took a deep breath, let it out... "The truth is... I think I am actually sexually attracted to ponies now," I admitted. There was silence. I took that as a good sign, hopefully. "I mean, you guys. Not the ones back home. Those aren't... I mean, you're an entirely different species! You're sapient, you even crossbred with humans! You have human traits-Hell, Twilight figured out how to turn you into humans!" I took a sip of tea, as Fluttershy remained silent. "And well, I mean, my species has plenty of sexual depravity but it's depraved. But in this case, it isn't! But I've been wrestling with that for so long and yet... I mean, I was taught that what was on the inside counted more than what was outside! Since looks do degrade over time and good looking people can be evil bastards or bitches inside-The alien bug pony Queen is a great example here, very literal." Sip. "But it turns out that that's bullcrap for romance because you gotta have physical attraction as well as attraction to what's inside! And looking good on the outside is a skill too, and if you put in the effort to look good you've got good inside, right? Well some good at least. So I was completely confused and bewildered because if you were all human women, I would have been all over you in an instant the moment we met, and that's probably why I acted like such an oblivious jackass!" I finished the cup of tea, and had a cookie as I continued to speak. "So I guess my point is, I'm... I'm sorry for being such a jackass. I was scared and confused, being the only one of my kind on this planet. And alien women finding me attractive is kind of weird, especially when they aren't humanoid. It's a big leap, but now it's not a leap. I made the leap. I'm more confused about you finding me attractive. That's kind of weird. No offense Fluttershy..." I turned to my pony friend. "Fluttershy?" She was bright red and silent, her wings fully spread. She stared straight ahead. I reached over and gently shook her shoulder. "Fluttershy? You okay?" "I... I um... I-I um..." Fluttershy tried. Angel Rabbit gave her a look, and then gave me a look. I glared back, and then squeezed Fluttershy's shoulder again. "Fluttershy?" "S-So... So..." She got herself together, "so... You... You find us..." She shyly looked up at me, "y-you find me... A-A-Attractive?" I blinked. "Yes." "L-Like... You'd want to... Want to... Want to..." Fluttershy tried. I smiled, and took her hoof in my hand. "Like... This, yeah," I said. "And other things." "Like..." She peered out from under her bangs, "... sex?" I blinked. I blinked again. I very slowly nodded. "... Yes." "... yay."