• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen February 11th

Andrew Joshua Talon

A fellow traveler...



A human joins the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville during Nightmare Moon's return. He thinks he's going to regret it. He's probably right.

A three part silly short, reboot of the "Hands" universe but doesn't require prior knowledge of that fic. Just for fun.

EDIT: Featured from 12/15/2019 to 12/21/2019.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 190 )

No complaints here! Adding context to the script definitely takes more work, but it looks to have paid off here. A good fleshing-out of the what-if scenario.
I did have to reread a bit to recognize the part about Shepherd dealing with a certain crazy unicorn emissary. Considering Twilight's relevance to the plot, and how little elaboration on her character she received when she speaks up later, it could have used another line or two of detail or lampshading to put her on par with the rest of the Mane 6, who had paragraphs and dialogue dedicated to them.
I'd be interested to see how the dynamics of the Fluttershy/Shepherd/Twilight relationship will change with this starting point. Not by too much, I'd imagine, but Fluttershy definitely has Dibs here.


man, this chapter just flowed like milk and honey. i think this is the most concise into i've read in a long ass time. even with that short blub about how twi is a pain in the ass.

Love the story can't wait to see more chapters

he literally just met twi and she immediately put him to work.

he doesn't know her.

Fair enough, it was good that her name wasn't used in the first mention of her, but another detail or two to make her more distinctive and stick in the mind better. Especially since the second mention of her directly calls back to the first.

Fixed! And we'll get to know more about Twilight next time.

An elegant solution. Looking forward to more!

I'm actually in the middle of reading Hands right now, so this was a bit funnier because of that :rainbowlaugh:

"I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULLLLLLLTTTTTTT!" I shrieked, as we were teleported away into darkness!

Does this count as a Team Four Star reference. Cause if it does, nice job!

Also, when is the next chapter?

I was a little nervous at first that there wouldn't be anything new added from the blogposts, but I am pleased to have been horribly mistaken. Fun stuff so far!

I’ve probably screwed up their whole celebration-Like making a ham sandwich out of the Quran during Ramadan.

Illustration of the year

But Shepherd, she is an adult. :trollestia:

This is hilarious. I love it! Poor Shepherd, now the girls will have to save him from Nightmare snu-snu as well as Celestia and all of Equestria.

I enjoy the story but to you have any tips of getting your story moderated? Mine are in a bit of a bind when it comes to having enough ponies.

snapping her jars


and the world shall be saved (by bellyrubs headpats, and earscritches), by the Power Puff Mares!
No, wait that would be the CMC... they aren't in this yet... I'll come back later...

SRY #16 · Dec 15th, 2019 · · · One ·


but, but, but, they are not hominoids...

Lol'd at the ref

... Is it wrong that I want more than just three chapters? :fluttercry:

Legend brought low by ear scritches. Bet that wasn’t in any prophecy.

Hilarious! Can't wait for the next chapters!

This is effectively a prequel to 'Hands'.

The capital city, Canterlot, was like Gondor high on whimsy

....Gondor was the lands, not a city. Minas Tirith was the capital city. Sorry, it poked a nerd-nerve.

Otherwise good story so far. Be interesting to see where this goes.

I'm Commander Shepherd and this is my favorite store on the Citadel.

Shepherd is in luck, Nightmare Moon is an adult.

“Yay he’s not her coltfriend!”


ya know i never got why no one just suggested to nightmare moon to swap the moon and day cycle around, ponies literally fall a sleep on Que so by swamping around when it day and night they be up at night and sleep during the day, no planet ending and she get ponies to experiences her night

HIEfan #26 · Dec 15th, 2019 · · · Two ·

Awww, the cuddeling scene with Nightmare moon was just precious!
"Who's a good destroyer of worlds? You are! yes you are!"

as I saw my own hands at work on a pipe outside of Rarity’s boutique.


I've got a shot! :yay:

Fool. If you make another LOTR reference you will be free, as Pinkie will likely be the one to deliver the slurpee. Not even the Nightmare can comprehend the pink eldritch horror.

Well I still have one more chapter. I can't let it go to waste.

im loving it plz mor

It's a little weird to me that the girls, minus Fluttershy, just decide that Shepherd is Twilight's coltfriend. The two just met, and I don't think any of them saw that little lunch date.
Meanwhile, the Prime5( feel free to use this) have known him for a year now and by the interactions reference in chapter 1, not just Fluttershy is into Shepherd. Pinkie should have shouted "And save Our coltfriend!" or at least Fluttershy's coltfriend.

She also had a strange tendency to sleep fly. Often ending up in my house, cuddled up to me in my bed.

...really subtle, Fluttershy. "Sleep-flying", suuuure :rainbowlaugh:

Especially when it happened on Hearts and Hooves Day.

You're not fooling anyone, Flutters :facehoof:

...okay, Andrew seems somewhat fooled. but do you really want him to be? :ajbemused:

Stare into the Pink Abyss too long, and it makes faces back at you.

Ooh, nice one :pinkiehappy:

She did have a strange habit of touching me a lot-Maybe it was a pegasus thing?

Ah, Xenophilia, here we come :rainbowwild:

Aaand the rest is still just as epic as when you put it in your blog. Aw yiss :yay:

Yeah, that sounds a lot more reasonable and likely.

As well as emotionally validating her. I guess no matter where you go in the universe, you'll find millennials. Even Millennial millennials.

Oh gods, you went there :rainbowlaugh:

"Do you have any special abilities? Increased magical sensitivity, super strength, laser vision?" She asked in desperation. I rolled my eyes.

"Only under a red sun,” I deadpanned.


“Trust me, she absolutely, definitely does not have any romantic feelings for me! And I don’t for her!”

Nightmare Moon gave me the evil eye. “Really?”

“Yes! Really!” I insisted. “And she’s definitely not trying to find a way to defeat you!”

Real smooth :facehoof:

One remark:
> “I am?” She asked.
> "Call me 'Mistress', oooh. My beloved concubine, call me that!" She commanded.
> "I will not destroy all life!” She declared
> "Why do you persist in this, Consort? This is not even your world!” She demanded.
> "You cannot lie! I know your thoughts! It's the purple one, isn't it?!" She roared.
> "And save Twilight's coltfriend!" She added.
> “Yay he’s not her coltfriend!” She quietly cheered.

In a "s/he said" construction, the part behind the quotes should not be capitalised. You seem to make this error quite a lot...

9990433 To be fair, it is Pinkie Pie...

My hands wouldn’t stop. Why wouldn’t my hands stop?!

When you have a tiger by the tail, you don't let go.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

She had found a book on the Elements of Harmony, the one thing that might defeat Nightmare Moon and save Equestria.

:pinkiesmile: "Sure, you found it.
:twilightsheepish: "Uh... call it a team effort?"

Lovely to see this get fleshed out. Looking forward to the conclusion.

Alondro #41 · Dec 16th, 2019 · · 2 · One ·

NMM, "I am an adult!"

(gets blasted by Deus Ex Rainbow Laser)

Celestia, "No, no you are not." :trollestia:

Alondro #42 · Dec 16th, 2019 · · 1 · Two ·

And then Lavan showed up!

Because he felt really left out after not being part of G4 at all.

(Lavan crying tears of liquid-hot magma, "I was a great villain! Wasn't I?" He start sobbing bitterly, releasing blasts of pyroclastic flows. Villagers in Pompeii below his summer home within Vesuvius scream briefly as their puny lives are snuffed out. Yes, Lavan was indeed a great villain, even when not aware of his evil deeds! Also, this sorta crossed over randomly with the Doctor Who episode on Pompeii... so Lavan was also an alien this time...)


Comment posted by The_Observer deleted Dec 17th, 2019

One more Lord of the Rings reference and I get a free Slurpee.


Well, that's it for this story.


As you wish, have a downvote.

Pretty good, don't know if I prefer this one or that Anon one more.

Downvote your comment? Odd request, but will do.

Was Shepherd always this... Anime Protagonist Dense?

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