• Member Since 4th May, 2017
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Cackling Moron

"Fluff" in the same way what collects under the sofa is fluff.


Charlie, local human, has made a discovery about how things work around these parts as opposed to the home turf. Or at least has decided he's made a discovery.

Twilight happens upon him just as he's about to test this.

Lunch is involved.


Now with reading from Straight To The Point Studio

And also some guy who wrote it I guess.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 161 )

Fair enough. But can it do dinner too?


Serious questions only, please.

Drinks to go with the food... is Rainbow Dash nuts? That's not how it works.

You need to make something that vaguely looks like a liquid dispensing machine and not a food dispensing machine, unless you want to drink liquified potatoes.

Maybe with a few years and a lot of investment they might get a drink-dispensing attachment, maybe.

dont let pinky near that machine it wont end well

Nah, Blue is still lucky for Ponies, and Red is still faster - Dash was really lucky to pull off the Rainboom, and it was an incredible stroke of luck that it caused the rest of the 6 to attain their marks as well.

So basically he made something that works on Pinkie Pie logic?

The Emporer lives because the Orkz believe he lives.

Thats a fucking worrying thought


Sadly, the next day. Charlie was knocked unconscious by two shady characters and his Lunch Machine was stolen. By sheer coincidence, that week, the Flim Flam brothers started going around Canterlot trying to hawk a new machine they called The Fantabulous Fast Foodie Fifty Five-thousand (shipping and postage not included, 100% money-back guaranteed satisfaction until purchased, limited time offer only).

This then leads into a ponified version of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

I'm getting an "All Guardsmen Party" vibe here, with the reference to orks, and an eerily similar device that just "churned" out good things on the basis of "Just Because"

I would watch that, just to see how much worse the puns could get.

I really enjoyed this story . :twilightsmile:

... He made orc tech. On purpose. And it works... Using intelligence to make working orc tech is cheating. He could slowly make lots of things that work and build a reputation for his inventions always doing what he says they do. Then he could literally make a thing that could do anything, because ponies believe it will do what he says.

you know the way and style in which you write makes it impossible to NOT read the narration in the voice of the narrator from "The Stanley Parable"

Breakfast machine? This being Equestira, it probably needs musical accomplishment to operate at maximum efficiency. I imagine the beta version Chaz and Rainbow made went something like this:

Of course Pinkie will see the Breakfast Machine she would smile knowingly saying that the red model is quite reliable for home use and they have the big commercial variety in Sugar Cube's kitchens...

Pinkie prances by with her one-pony-band getup, playing Breakfast Machine.

nah, it's comforting, because see, the Orks also believe the Orks live, so it's not like the orks are ever gonna get wiped out. thus, the emprah will live on!

Is this a reference to something? This feels like a reference to something.

I think the workaround is that he utterly lost his mind and is going with the logic of โ€˜they are grabbing with HOOVES!!!โ€™ to justify any illogical reasoning.

If you find that bothering, the best love story in the 40k universe is between Yarrick and Ghazghull, and if that is not enough, this is a time of Paradice for the Orkz, because there is only war.

That is hilariously absurd and I loved every moment of it. It made me laugh while reading.

Seems reasonable.

I would love to see more of this. A human doing the impossible in Equestria simply because they believe that it will work and so it does.
Hmmm. But what about desserts? or soup? Soup is both a drink and a food. Do I just have to believe in the soup and it will be so?

So many people fail at absurdist stories. You didn't Good job, you.

I wasn't only one...

Also.. are you?..pointedly stares at drawing.

HAH! I love this! Mechanics of the mind and baffling Twilight, pure brilliance!

It's been a while since I read something where I end up asking myself what the fudge I just read.

Was gonna mention da Orks, but the story did it for me.



Ork tech at it's finest.

The interesting thing is, in Equestria that might actually actually work, purely because ponies have seen magic do similar things. All you'd need for perfect operation is to dress up the exterior with things that ponies already associate with magical machinery - gems that light up in sequence, a small plaque with a serial number from the Canterlot Guild of Mages Appliances Division, maybe an accompanying manual which emphasizes regular cleaning or some other minor maintenance process.

I'm quite certain I don't know what you're talking about. Am I the artist of my avatar? no. Am I actually an animated fox wearing a vest and holding grapes? also unfortunately no.
(seriously though am I what?)

Your writing makes me happy

There's no free lunch. Watches machine fall apart.

The former, provided I know (like really know-know) the artist

If ponies existed in 40k and learned how to utilize this power along with Harmony, they will be like one of the major powers in the galaxy!

What are you talking about? It'll work even better and in ways you didn't expect.

Didn't see that one coming, did you Twilight?

I fear that any possible drinks machine is doomed to the following fate:

He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The way it functioned was very interesting. When the Drink button was pressed it made an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject's taste buds, a spectroscopic examination of the subject's metabolism and then sent tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centers of the subject's brain to see what was likely to go down well. However, no one knew quite why it did this because it invariably delivered a cupful of liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

Give it time. Soon Twilight will realize this is how Pinkie is Pinkie.

I don't imagine Charlie will be happy when it's stuck dispensing cupcakes and other similar baked goods.

Purple iz da sneekyest color

ah well in that case, No i'm not the artist. the one who made it was one culpeo-fox on deviant art

Charlie from ASIP meets 40k. Will Equestria survive? :pinkiecrazy:


I would prefer something like SCP 294 happening.

๐Ÿ‘ Excellent use of a Douglas Adams reference. Poor Arthur Dent.


Charlie reminds me of Colinfurze but if he had access to magic.

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