Andrew Joshua Talon
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I do have to say that, since I never read the first story, and don't plan to either, Twilight has something most ponies don't.
She knows what being human is like. Unless this is pre Equestria Girls, or the spinoff doesn't even exist in this universe?
This is relevant to my interests.
A clop fic that doesn't focus around some obscure fetish and is well-written is like a cool drink of water on a hot day. Thank you, Andrew.
We all know where this is going.
I am disgusted and interested at the same time.
10421185
Prequel is the first episode of the show. Pinning this one down is a matter of reading into the context... which means that if EQG wasn't brought up in this context, it hasn't happened yet.
What researchers in some timelines have dubbed the "Flash Sentry Effect."
Hmm. How did Sunset work in this world, assuming she was even a thing?
This should be interesting going forward. Let's see what you do with the idea.
10421416
I've heard, well, a bit of a different name for it, but I guess that works too.
While ponies have cycles where they go into heat, humans are always ready, they're probably not as prepared for that as humans.
I sense potential orgies over the horizon...
....go on...
10421504
and given that this is twilight we're talking about she probably jacked up the effectiveness of pheromones to be capable of affecting human.
she would use her own species as a basis for how somethings should
10421504
I sense a generation of satyrs on the horizon, depending on how well Twiggles and the Irresponsible Magic Crew thought this through.
I like it! ANOTHER!
Spank me again! LOL (serious, a fun idea)
Twilight playing with magic in irresponsible ways and with a human involved? There is no way this can end badly
Other than likely skewing the resulting genetics of half of the next generation of ponies.
it's a nice story keep it up
And now I need some brain bleach
Is that a Beast Wars reference?
Baby one in the belly
Oh yeah, I would like to see this definitely continue! Nice job on the first chapter!
How's there two sequels? Is this a direct sequel, or is it a sequel to Short Hand?
If we don't see Cadance, Celestia, and Luna be humans, you failed.
~Skeeter The Lurker
....UNF
10423002
It's an AU spinoff.
"EDIT: HOLY CRAP! Top of the featured list in one day?! Wow! Well, I'll definitely be writing more of this. Stay tuned!"
Be careful though, do it for you, not for the fame or glory. I can wait several months for an update if it means the author won't suffer a burnout :)
10423583
Ah. Alright, in that case I'll read it before the sequel then.
Read the chapter earlier and loved it. Then I remember I forgot to follow the story to see more, glad I remember to come back.
I nteresting when an OG makes his resurgance. HiE OC fets a fresh coat of paint and new batteries
Well done, and congrats on making front page. Even became the top of the list for a while, actually. XD
I'm actually afraid of how Pinkie Pie is going to work this "holiday".
do hope ther well be at least afew consequences going forward. humans don't have estrus's cycle after all.
10425724
Eh, they’re only human for a day and it takes fourteen days for an egg to be grown and released from an ovary, according to Wikipedia anyway, so there shouldn’t be any unintended pregnancies. Assuming no pony was fertile out of season during the holiday.
Dammit, Twilight or whoever cooked this up. Clothes! It's an integral part of human culture! You can't keep forgetting that!
I mean, that, or she's sitting in the bushes gleefully spying on her experiment.
Very naked
Well. She's realistically the only one who could pull it off. Unless Celestia is involved
Hah.
I'm honestly not sure what people's issue is with seeing naked old people. I mean sure, it's not exactly arousing, but, that's about it. They're just, naked people. Same with seeing naked guys. I dunno. None of that ever bothered me
Maybe it's an American thing, and I'm just too European to see the issue.
Yes, I see
Sorry, babe. Consent doesn't work that way. You don't give the okay explicitly, you're gonna get ignored.
...you can just open it again, you know
Dear gods, he's actually bending her over the cutie map table. That's such a hilariously disrespectful image
Ugh. Wombs don't work like that, you know.
Remarks and corrections:
> and it’s defenses
"[its] defenses"
> I should have smelt eggs and bacon in an ideal world.
Tsk. "smelled"
> and her belly was just a tiny bit soggy
Um. Don't you mean "saggy"? Soggy means 'wet'
> “As a human, I mean!” She inquired.
> “Wait! Wait, I was being serious!” She cried.
> “That all you got?” She asked
These are "s/he said" constructions, meaning, there should not be a capital letter on the part behind the quote.
> I replied, my suspicions now confirmed
Missing period at the end here.
> apprentice to Twilight Sparkle and formally an insane villain
I'm fairly sure that should be "formerly", not "formally". Unless she carries "insane villain" business cards?
> Has Pinky ever insisted
> a Pinky party
"Pinkie"
> something you’d like to do… With me?
> Or maybe even… To me?
This looks like a word processor automatically switching to capital letter after a period, but, that should not happen with an ellipsis; it's still the same sentence.
10426532
Thank you. You really put in great effort on your comments and I really appreciate it.
10426688
Always glad to help
[edit]
One more remark... the Source field of a story's cover image is supposed to be a way to link back to the image where it is published by the artist who made it, as a way of giving credit. Linking it to DeviantArt's messy generated image urls doesn't actually accomplish that.
Actual source is
https://www.deviantart.com/imdrunkontea/art/Princess-of-Friendship-686758750
10426532
I'm sure most of us know. We're just into it.
This was a wild and fun beginning I can't wait to see where this goes.
Good... now I believe it's time for Sparkle's deflowerment mess up the princess of friendship nice and so humiliating
Hoo boy...at this rate, Shepherd's gonna be the town bicycle.
What does being a herbivore got to do with anything?
I have to wonder if he'll get his hands on those too.
Would be fun to see his reaction and "action" toward Zecora and Gabby.
10429591
Please. Like any author would let a chance for a clop scene with her pass by.
Was that a Planet 51 reference I saw?
Also
All of my yes!!!
Baby 2 in the belly
Great chapter, thanks.
*<>* Shepards never gonna find twilight - not before bedding all her friends on his quest to locate the pone
I bet half the town was watching through the windows, with the menfolk taking notes on how to mate like a Human, while the ladies take a number and eagerly wait their turn.
Why do I get the feeling that there's going to be an entire generation of centaurs?
Makes sense; they're used to sheathes. And it's a lot easier to tie something around your waist than get a working brassiere, unless Rarity's trying to break into the minotaur market.
I mean, I don't think anyone who uses or experiences this knowledge will feel he needs to apologize.
There's something about the phrase "gratuitously squishy" that's outright hilarious to me.
And yeah, the man in the desert has suddenly found himself in the middle of a lake. Small wonder he's all but drowning in it. I get the feeling it'll take several more tries for Shepherd to find Twilight.
This guy will need to work for money VERY hard in the future, if he will keep his momentum in possibly impregnating mare-womans. Otherwise alimonies will make him homeless.