• Member Since 20th Aug, 2019
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


Why do I write? Because it's fun! :D

Comments ( 569 )

Daniel has an average life,

Delsin finds that out when his quiet life is turned upside down

Wait, so is it Daniel or Delsin?

Haha, sorry, I was going to call him Delsin, but I changed my mind. Thought I had purged the old name, thank you for pointing that out. :twilightsheepish:

so, shot in the dark (totally not) purple light is Bookhorse, orange sneeze is Cowpony, yellow scaredy cat is obvious, and smack to the head has to be the Sonic wannabe (please note none of this is meant to be insulting just trying to make it less obvious to anyone who comes across this comment before reading the chapter)

wow...… what a cliff hanger.

so...………. whens the next chapter?? :pinkiehappy:

I'm finishing the latest one now, then I simply need to proof read it. So I would say, maybe 20 minutes? Soon at least! :raritywink:

Are the colored speech text to much?? Not sure.

Yeah, its a little distracting.

You think so? Hm, then I would consider removing it, but then I would need to reorganize the chapter. At any rate, thank you for your input, it is important. :twilightsmile:

huh. so...….. rainbow was the one who knocked out the poor guy...…….. typical.:ajbemused:

yeah but still. i'm jest glad it wasn't AJ who did it. she would of killed him. :twilightoops:

Oh! Well thank you. :ajsmug:

Did you find the colors distracting? :applejackunsure:

It's fine, thank you for your input. :eeyup:

first coment :pinkiegasp:

Well on one hand, yes the colored text can be(not to me though:pinkiehappy: ) a bit distracting, on the other hand, it helps to know who's talking so yeah, that's my opinion. I say keep it, but that's just me:twilightsmile:

Excellent chapter!! :twilightsmile:

Liked the chapter. The colored text is eh. doesnt really bother me much. however, i would cut it in your position.

Then again, im not.

Well it looks like they took it with stride, nip that problem in the butt early.
So far, I'm liking the pacing quite a bit and in going to love where this goes.

As far as the colored text goes, I'm honestly 50-50 on it so my opinion won't matter on the subject, I like the touch of it because you know who's speaking right on the dime, but at the same time feels a wee bit off.
Whatever you choose to do on that, will keep enjoying the story no matter what.:twilightsmile:




Those are some good points, it does seem I would need to remove them, think maybe also that's why I get dislikes, maybe. Not that it matter that much, but In the next chapter I will try no color, so you can tell me if that's better and less distracting. Thank you for your input. :twilightsmile:

I think it was important to show it's a major decision, and not one that was easy to make.

The color text with how the chapter is written is useful. The problem is currently that if you took the color out we would not have context who is speaking as it seems you are forgoing short phrases such as “twilight says” or “rainbow exclaims”. So if you want to avoid two chapters of clean up keep the colors however i would consider making raritys text color something more distinctive as her purple is just shy of the same shade of twilights. Perhaps think on having rainbows color be changed to red or green and then have rarity shift over to a blue.

"Rainbow! You hit him too hard!"

hahahaha. i was right.

That is some very great points. Well, if I am to remove the colors I would reorganize the chapter so it would be understandable. Which is why the next chapters has no colors. So if you find the next chapter is better and works without color, I would be happy to know. Thank you for your input. :twilightsmile:

ah, but this wasn't her typical "punch now, punch later, punch some more and ask questions never" reaction. she was genuinely concerned about a large creature she had never seen before approaching her best friend. she was expressing her loyalty.

I don't think the colored speech is to much, it's nice to see who of the main 6 is talking.

I don't mind word colors if anything makes more since to do it that way and less confusing sometimes when it's multiple people talking it confuses the hell out of the reader is when we don't know who or what talking so either or your choice my friend.
Loving it so far can't wait to read the next chapter!👍

Thank you for your input. That means a lot, did you have trouble knowing who was talking in this one, or was it easy enough to follow? :twilightsmile:

Yes so far so good but AJ was hard to distinguish from the rest but so far so good.

For the most part, it wasn't too tough to tell who was talking. I know I usually use dialogue tags more often when there's a bunch of characters in the same scene than when there's only two or three to help minimize confusion of who's talking.

so...… when will the crazy start?:twilightsmile:

Some way and somehow, I see a SonicRainboom happening for some reason. ...Huh.
I like the way you tackled it with RD, good old buddy talk.
(Plus I'm loving your dialog so far :twilightsmile:)

I'm loving this so far can't wait to see where it goes.

👏👏👏 Excellent so far and dialogues on point! 👌

This was a chill getting to known the people around him which was awesome.

This was a awesome first meetings the main six, I like the color text let's me know who is who.

This was a awesome/chill chapter but I like the color version better. I wonder when they will start changing.

This was a awesome and sweet chapter this was so in character to.

I hope this has side/sub chapters that are rated M .

That is actually a good idea, I hadn’t considered that. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Great new addition!
Although Dash was pretty foolhardy.

"Fool of a Took!"

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