Many years ago, when Equestria was still young, was a young princess, who struggled living in the shadow of her older sister.
History will tell us about Nightmare Moon rebelling against her sister, and threw Equestria into what she wanted to be eternal night. History will note the captain of the Luna guard standing by his mistress's side, until she was defeated and exiled to the moon. Then he fled, forever in exile, and dishonor.
Now, with the return of princess Luna, and the defeat of the shadowy entity known as Nightmare Moon, we learn that history, was wrong.
At least in one BIG detail..
Inspired by: NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE | Tangled The Series
Editor/Old Equish language expert: Mornings Dew
Coverart made by/belongs to: TheDracoJayProduct
Chapters (3)
That was a nice story, a little bit of angst followed by romantic fluff for Moon Pony.
I wonder what Luna's mental state would be and how would she respond if Star Chaser had died while in the crystals (starvation, asphyxiation, shock, old age, etc).
Short and sweet. Nice.
Oof, that has got to hurt. If I were in his position, I don’t know if I could forgive her for what is about to happen.
Forgot First Season Luna looked different, the Elements took a good amount of her power.
Always thought that her smaller form was cut tho
This was amazing! Tho I am kinda sad it was so short, hope you expand on it in the future!
What a nice fic
One thing I don't understand. Why insist on Luna using old form English, but not her contemporary? Wouldn't it make more sense if he talked the same way as her?
Um, you... kind of tried to murder Celestia.
Just sayin'.
11073962
Well, it's called the Royal We, no?
static.wikia.nocookie.net/gyropedia/images/e/e8/PinkieShrug.png/revision/latest?cb=20110609163507
11074000
Omg, you dumdum. XD
Yes, the royal we, but he can still say thee and all that.
Ahh it's you Danish, no wonder this story has me hooked already from the first paragraph
Heh, you also sneaked in 'Moon Rises' in the dialogue
11074634
Nicely spotted. ;)
Great history, and how romantic
.
All of you should read this while listening to a romantic song, Till I met you
This is amazing!
Oh man, I loved this!
I think it's wishful thinking to ask for some sort of sequel, but this setting has a lot of potential.
Just a tip here; you're using "Thee" a lot, where the correct grammar is "Thou".
"Thee didst find him, didn't thee?
Should probably be rendered:
"Thou didst find him, didn't thee?"
The issue is that modern English doesn't use "Cases" any more. But it used to. In modern English "You" is perfectly acceptable in all cases.
But you should use "Thou" in the subjective case, when the person being addressed is the subject of the sentence, and "Thee" in the objective case, when the person being addressed is being acted upon by the subject of the sentence.
For instance:
"I shall kill thee!" <- The subject of the sentence is the speaker, threatening to act upon a secondary person.
"Thou hast chosen death" <- The subject of the sentence is the person.
Generally, you want to use Thou when asking a question, and Thee when describing something that will something will do to something else.
Similarly, when using "Yours", the word to use is thy; except when the word begins with a vowel. Or... the letter h, for some reason.
"Pick up thy sword, and face thy death with dignity, cur!"
"Didn't thou not hear me? Art thine ears damaged as well as thine eyes?"
So you might end up with something like this:
"Captain Star Chaser, thou hast been sealed away ere the centuries pass. For thy Princess Luna did seal thee away, and strike in rebellion against Celestia, her Sister and fellow Diarch. We knew not of thine imprisonment, or thy torment. For when Luna was banished and the miasma of Nightmare dispelled, we knew not what had became of thou, and couldst not come to release thee."
Etc.
Just a tip, for any future dialogue you right with Luna. Thee and Thou aren't interchangeable, and mean two different things. Its just that in Modern English, the word You has come to replace both of them.
11078349
I find myself very surprised to be grateful for this grammar lesson as an adult... and yet here we are. Funny how life works sometimes. At least I'll have a better idea how to write dialog for Luna in my own stories. I've pretty much gone by what sounded right, even if I had no idea why. Its so strange to think I have heard, or seen enough older English to have a pretty solid feel for what sounds right. Thanks for the lesson!
Really liked this story, for being so short it sure packs in some emotion without feeling rushed.
11106289
Thank you so much. I pretty much wrote it in my head while I worked. I listened to the song I linked, and just thought it would be an awesome mini story to do.
11106260
You're welcome!
I've always regretted my inability to speak another language. A number of my colleagues speak 4-5 languages and its very depressing.
Its also, in my opinion, an absolute nightmare to talk about "Cases" in English, a language that famously doesn't really use them. (Tolkien was notably upset with it, deciding that English as a Language had gone downhill since it had faded out of use, and included them in all his fictional languages.) I rather resent how poorly it was taught at school...
I think the thing with cases is one of the reasons its so much harder to learn another language when your first language is English, then, say, learning another of the romance languages when you already speak one. Learning French, Spanish, Portuguese, or Italian when you already have one is much easier).
English, technically speaking belongs to the Germanic language group. (The main ones are Dutch and German, plus the Scandanavian languages of Norwegian, Danish and Swedish), but the English Language - much like the English Culture - has absorbed so much from other cultures over the last 1000 years its practically unrecognizable, and is an unholy bastardization of at least 3 different Major languages, words and vocabulary nicked from just about every language and culture around the world. Much like its culture to be perfectly honest. I'm quite proud of it to be honest, but it makes learning a new language every difficult, and it famously disobeys its own rules.
In more consistent languages, you can just learn the basic grammatical rules, and then you're just learning the relevant words. Its like building with lego. But it is borderline impossible to learn what those rules are, because we lack the vocabulary to even conceptualize some of those rules. But like you say, even though we don't use them, officially, there must be something left over, because we can still intuit, still feel where thee or thou should go. Even though we don't use either these days.
Its really rather interesting...
11073650
Would depend on how much you love her.