- - -
The Elements of Harmony is like... An inverse nuke, I suppose. It has a massive explosion and releases huge amounts of energy, but instead of vaporizing you it heals. It nurtures. You feel uplifted, like every happy memory and happy moment of your life is running through your mind. Like you could take on any foe and be assured victory. It feels like the sun is rising and your soul spreads its wings. It's been like that every time I've ever experienced it.
That said... When the Elements lit up this time, there was something different. The last three times I'd been at ground zero of the Elements going off, the target would be... I dunno, neutralized in some way. Nightmare Moon got the evil vaporized out of her-Twice. Discord got turned into stone.
When it hit Chrysalis and every Changeling there... They were lifted into the air, and then catapulted right out of the freaking chapel. I had to duck as Chrysalis literally screamed right over my head!
Every other pony in attendance got down as well, forced by the passage of so many bodies through the air. The lightshow soon ended, and the Elements cooled down. Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy stood in a circle, stoic and focused. They looked so heroic and amazing I had to restrain myself from grinning like an idiot.
Then Pinkie Pie blinked in confusion.
"Hey! Where are the statues?" She demanded. "I wanted to get some nice statues for Maud!"
I lost it. I began laughing hard, giggling like a schoolboy from the rush. In an instant, Fluttershy was by my side in concern.
"Shepherd? Are-Are you okay? Why are you giggling?" She asked.
"Ah... S-Sorry," I said, wiping some stray tears away, "hoo... That's... That's a rush." I looked up at Twilight.
"But seriously, Pinkie's got a good point: Why didn't they get stoned? Or... Vaporized?"
Twilight frowned deeply.
"That's... A good question," she said. She hummed. "From what I've studied of the Elements, they will destroy pure evil, put mostly evil but with a chance for redemption into stone, and... Well they haven't been used against anything else."
Princess Celestia rose, looking a hell of a lot better than she had been. Twilight and the rest of us gathered around her.
"Princess Celestia! Are you all right?" Twilight asked. Celestia smiled, a tired but warm expression as she looked down on us.
Well on Twilight and the other ponies, she had to meet my gaze.
"I'm fine, really," she said. She looked at Twilight. "As to why that happened with the Elements, allow me to explain: The Elements of Harmony are best used against a few targets of similar morality alignments. Use them against, say, an entire army and the various conflicting alignments of the individuals will overwhelm the Elements. So, they will choose the most expedient means of removing the threat, without destroying potential good."
Celestia smiled faintly.
"By literally removing the threat and sending them somewhere they will do no harm."
"Aye sister!" Luna shouted, flying in through a hole in the roof. She was accompanied by dozens of armed pegasi, as more troops rushed in to help injured ponies, "twas what happened at the Second Battle of Neighing Heights, when we faced Crunch the God Alpha and his army of Wulverins."
Celestia nodded with a grimace.
"Yes, I remember," Celestia said, "we banished his entire army back home." She hummed. "On the plus side, we did give him his heart back and he ended the war immediately!"
"He was far too affectionate for decades after though," Luna huffed, "dog breath, ugh."
"I thought you liked dogs," Celestia teased. Luna stiffened, blushing a bit.
"Not that much!" She insisted.
"So, Chrysalis and her army are still intact somewhere," I concluded with a sigh, "wonderful."
"At the very least, we are now aware of them," Twilight pointed out, "so we'll be ready next time." She beamed.
"Your Majesties," spoke Shining, and we all turned to look at him. He stood there with his head bowed, Cadence alongside him, "I... I must submit myself for court martial for my subversion by Queen Chrysalis-And my previous attempt at assassinating you-"
"Denied," Celestia, Cadence, and Luna all said at the same time. Shining started.
"B-But-!"
"Mind control doesn't count, dude," I said, slapping a hand on his back. I gave him a smirk, "biggest surprise? You had a mind to control."
Shining scowled a bit, looking indignant... But not wounded. I slapped him on the back again, and Twilight and Cadence smiled comfortingly at him. He relaxed, just a bit, and smiled as well.
Hey, I may be a dick, but I'm not that big of a dick.
"Though honestly, we should have noticed something was wrong from the moment we saw those shields up around the city," Luna observed. She gave Celestia a deadpan expression, "as should you."
"I suppose I'm getting easily distracted in my old age," Celestia sighed, "it happens to the best of us. Including the sister who is supposed to be in charge of the military."
"I've been in the moon for a thousand years!" Luna protested.
"How about we get this wedding going again?" Cadence suggested, as she shook her mane, "after I've had a chance to freshen up, huh?"
"Sounds wonderful!" Celestia said, as Luna pouted. I sighed and rubbed the back of my head.
"Oh good," I said, "let's get going."
- - -
So Shining and Cadence got their wedding, and I got to stand around and do basically nothing but wait for the buffet at the reception. It was pretty nice, and it was a testament to the resilience of these little ponies. Even after being invaded by monsters, they got their act back together and had the wedding. And it was a beautiful ceremony.
Thankfully, quite brisk too. Cadence was looking very impatient, and I couldn't blame her. Being locked up in caves for days while some slutty Bug-Pony queen was pretending to be you with your mind controlled fiance? Yeah, I'd want to get on with it.
So by that evening, as calm returned to the city, the ceremony was complete. Shining and Cadence kissed happily, and the magical fireworks Pinkie Pie had spent so much time on exploded to life and filled the gorgeous night sky with light. Cadence grinned out at the audience of guests and soldiers, and held up her bouquet.
"Catch~!" She cried, and with her magic, she tossed it up high into the air. Several mares began to scramble for it, including Rainbow Dash (which we would tease her for mercilessly after). I watched it sail overhead, grinning at the mad rush for it...
When the bouquet glowed, and abruptly changed directions. It dove right for me.
And like a dope, I opened my arms to catch it.
My eyes were wide as I looked around and saw several very, very hungry looking mares surrounding me.
And I saw Cadence's playful smirk and Shining's grin. Pinkie Pie grinned.
"PONY PILE!" She bellowed. I glared at the happy couple.
"Oh you motherfuc-!"
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