• Member Since 21st Feb, 2022
  • offline last seen 12 hours ago

The Royal Equestrian


Bless this fandom, they aspire me to write.

T

Follow King Douny O'Whelan through his last days on Earth and his new Journey in Equestria, as he tries to reconcile with his past, make new friends and try to help and gain acceptance from the ponies of Equestria.
The Earth of Douny's world may also not be the one we know following an Elfpunk style.



Cover art by Dragon Emperor 485
Editor I Was Anonymous
Proof reader Dragon Emperor 485

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 47 )

you misspelled 'throne' on your short description

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Thank you for letting me know, I wouldn't have spotted that.

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It's a Punk genre that is under the umbrella term Steampunk.
Basically take Elves Faeries and Orcs and put them into a modern urban setting and you have Elfpunk

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Glad your enjoying it, I've been putting a lot of effort into this and I'm glad that your liking it so far.

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Glad you enjoyed it. This is some what my passion project.

this is getting good don't know why i didn't know about this great chapter

Comment posted by Dulcet Nuance deleted Oct 9th, 2022

You made a lot of mistakes in word usage and grammar. You need to proof read it slowly. I read chapter 7 out loud and had a bit of trouble with the flow. This is by far the most mistake ridden of your chapters so far. Still a very interesting story but not a joy to read like your previous chapter.

bro needs to chill on strongheart lol shes like 7 and shes right.

welcome back and great chapter

Is he going to manufacture more rounds for his gun?

“Hey you, you're finally awake.” A feminine voice said on Douny’s right.

I understood that reference

"I think I'd prefer the Lunar guard, mostly because I know the leadership of that branch better. No offense Celestia." Douny answered, look at the alicorns.

Plus it is better trained than the solar guard.

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Oh I hope so. And introduce the arm of modern firearms to the world

What images/game are the armor from?

And is he possible going to teach them new tactics?

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I do plan on it the third image is just one IRL the other two are from Mordhau I do plan on him helping the Equestrian military but I don't want to say how it would be a bit spoilery

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Yeah was asking for the game name. But god I hope he teaches them some modern tactics or at least to use guns.

I’m surprised he hasn’t run into any canterlot nobles especially a certain blue balls pony and the rest like him.

Not gonna lie this first chapter is very unappealing.

i wonder who is hiding under Luna night

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Who knows, I can't wait to get to show the end of this arc I think that everyone is going to like where it's going.

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He got PTDS from what happen didn’t he?

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Sort of, his PTSD has always been there, it's just now it's starting to take hold and manifest in more obvious ways

“Well sir, I just don’t get what you were thinking, I mean trying to flank an enemy force twice our full unit size, that just seems like suicide to me, and don’t get me started on our unit size, for what we were trying to do 32 men were never going to be enough.” The Lieutenant replied, keeping his cool a lot better than he had before.

I disagree. Taking on a force double your size head on is suicidal. Flanking and attempting to shift the flow into a rout with a smaller and more maneuverable unit is sound tactics when long range guerilla whittling is unavailable.

I think the first three chapters would have been better scattered throughout the story, and this chapter would be a little better as the opener.

“So it’s settled, we will be heading to Appleloosa later in the morning to talk this whole thing out.” Douny finished looking at everyone again seeing that all were still on board with the plan. This brought a small smile to Douny’s face, if he was lucky this would all go off without a hitch.

Our guy didn’t really ask to make this decision for either party but did so anyway… Seems a tad of an overstep, but I guess he’s used to being the king. Might take a while to unwind that habit.

What happened to Spike? He stay in the Buffalo camp?

Twilight had a spare bed that fit a 6’2” human?

"Alright, but after that I want us to try to heal that wound up." Twilight said, giving no room for argument.

Wouldn’t it be better to heal first?

The man took a moment to breath before answering. What he saw, no he couldn't focus on that right now. He then looked at Twilight seeing that she was extremely worried, almost painfully so. He had to do something now. If what he's going through is putting people who want to help him, a stranger in such a state, then he needs to let someone help him… and that someone might just be her, he let out a sigh.

What caused this sudden change in the character? He was a king -the guy whose job it was to make a decision and stay the course- who decided he didn’t want friends ever again, and now he just changes because Twilight makes some teary eyes?

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I'll try to answer what I can.
Firstly The unit sizes, I don't think back then I understood small unit tactics so I thought getting out of cover and not holding up would be a bad idea.

Second, I agree looking back it was probably a better idea to spread it out more evenly, it would have probably made it more digestible in some ways.

Third, When it comes to him taking a leadership role or a follower role is a bit more fluid than you might expect I don't want to go any farther with that though because it will be shown way later on.

Forth, When it comes to Spike, I guess I just forgot to add him into some of the scenes his still with Twilight after the meeting between Douny, Thunderhooves and the ponies.

Fifth, Honestly the bed thing was an over site, I wasn't really thinking to hard about the logistics of that scene.

Sixth, During the mental help scene with Twilight he didn't consider her a friend more of an associate in a way, I guess I really didn't make that clear.

Seventh, Arguing with Douny when he has his mind set on something is basically like talking to a brick wall.

Finally, I'm also still a very very very novice writer and I'm still trying to learn, so I appreciate the feedback, and thank you for voicing some of the issues with my work.

Rainbow Dash lives in a cloud house. How did Applejack just stop by for a quick chat?

MC blew up quickly. I don’t think his fuse has been shown to be quite that short yet.

She knows he’s had a falling out with her sister’s pupil, yet she invites him into her home and even shows him her bedchambers in exchange for a few words of understanding? Something seems a little off. Either MC is playing a long game with the ponies’ nativity or Luna’s really trusting. And she’s right to sense a red flag about his request to enlist. He’s spoken enough about his past despite the vaguenesses to make them wary about him and a military position.

With opponents generally half his size, I’d think a kite shield would be shaped poorly to be effective as it would leave his feet noticeably vulnerable to attack.

Poor mare. Got shot down and then cut down.

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You’re doing really quite well!! I’m definitely marking the story to notify me for updates.

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We back it only took me 5 months, I hope it was worth the wait.

I love this! Great chapter!

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