• Member Since 19th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Raptormon132


Blind Commentator, Actor, Voice Actor, Analyst/Reviewer, and Writer

Sequels1

E

This story is a sequel to Vader's New Empire


Darth Vader and Tempest Shadow hunt for the Princess Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the Main Six in Klugetown. And it is up to Twilight to prevent herself and her friends from getting captured.


A very special thanks to EJLightning007arts for making the first story art image, and to Jehovaservant for proofreading and editing this story.


Note: This story series follows the story line of the movie, for the most part.

This Star Wars/MLP crossover is set during the MLP movie, as a "What If Darth Vader was in My Little Pony: The Movie". After success of "I Will Not Fail", people requested sequels, so I plan to make 5 sequels. This is the 2nd of the 5.

(My entry into Scribblefest 2018)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 83 )

This is my joy at seeing a new story

8729148
Glad you think so. :twilightsmile:

Listened to imperial march while reading this made the action bits so cool

8729463
I see. Awesome.

When thinking of the brief fight against Twilight and Darth Vader I had https://youtu.be/wxL8bVJhXCM?t=49s in my mind. And when Darth Vader watched the main 6 escaped on Captain Celaeno, and glancing at Twilight, I had https://youtu.be/wxL8bVJhXCM?t=1m43s pictured in my head.

Wicked awesome! Loved the awesome read! Keep this up! I can’t wait for the next part!

P.S. Vader is so awesome, not even leftover cake bits will faze him! Lol. I found that part hilarious by the way. Also, was it just me, or does Vader have some sort of respect for Tempest? It seemed that way in the beginning when she “dropped Fishman”.

Keep it going with these stories, they're good.

8729489
So did I my friend. So did I.

If anyone sees any mistakes, they aren't my fault. ;P

Just kidding, if anyone sees a mistake let me know.

8730308
I did see a few mistakes, but I fixed them myself. It looks really good.

8729854
He does. He's had respect for Tempest ever since their first encounter, when she fought against him.

So you found the part where some leftover cake fell off of him, and Grubber eats them funny? Awesome. I'm glad that got a laugh out of you. I'm also glad I stayed true to Vader's character.

What about when Pinkie Pie took him literally by surprise by splating the cake in Vader's face? I thought that was a fun part to put in.

8730587
I admit, THAT part was a riot! Lol. I never expected Vader to get caught off guard by a CAKE of all things!

8730673
True, but then again Vader's never encountered someone like Pinkie Pie, who is so random, and a regular physics law breaker. LOL!

....Ya know, part of me doesn’t know how to feel that Pinkie Pie just got the drop on Darth friggen Vader with a cake.

8730780
Well, if you thought about it, Vader's never encountered someone like Pinkie Pie, who is so random, and a regular physics law breaker. LOL!

8730780
Here's my head canon. Take it for what it's worth.
What do we know about the force from the canon?
We know "It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together" -Obi wan Kenobi
We know "It controls your movements, but it also obeys your commands" -Obi wan/Luke Skywalker
Another big thing, is that Darth Sideous was able to cloud the Jedi's judgement from being able to see his future plans and movements.
And who did he learn that from?

Pinkie is Darth Plagueis confirmed! #MLP-3TRIXIEBROSCOPE #DATOBVIOUSTRUTH 😈

But jokes aside, Having the force does NOT Give Vader, (or any other force user) perfect foresight. Especially when their thoughts are elsewhere...

8730780

8730781
If it makes you feel better, Vader doesn’t fall for the same mistakes twice. He probably already knew the Mane Six’s abilities and more than likely, puts Pinkie Pie as the most dangerous and a priority.

Now, I don’t expect Vader to kill any of them, but I do expect to see him kick their asses multiple times as if he’s toying with them.


Btw, you should do a series about What if Thrawn was in Equestria.

8730906
And not to mention that the magic and abilities of candy coloured ponies are something almost unknown to him, especially someone like Pinkie Pie, who is so random, and is a regular physics law breaker. LOL!

8730908
Thrawn in Equestria...
Now this is something that needs to happen.

8731042
Truth.

8731042
I wonder what happens next?

8731178
In the role of a narrator: "Find out in the exciting episode!"

8731258
Thank you. I'm glad too.

Vader:...well, that was humiliating.

8731643
What was? Getting hit in the face with a cake?

BTW Thank you for the follow. :twilightsmile:

Come on, author. Stop teasing us and give us a feature length story based on this premise!

On a side note, how is Vader keeping his suit charged? From what I understand, Darth Vader has multiple power cells in his suit to keep his life support functions active. He is a quadruple amputee with irreparable respiratory damage and permanent scarring from third-degree burns on every inch of his body.

8737156
Sorry. I have to write them one story at a time, because the artist made 5 title images for each one at my request.

As for how Darth Vader keeps his life support system active.

Nah! Just kidding. I actually didn't think about that. But I think he would have his ways of doing so off screen.

Another awesome oneshot. I'm really getting into this series you've created here.

8737490
Good to know.
And thank you adding this story to your favorites. :twilightsmile:

8737156
They have steam technology. And twilight has an electric sensor array when she tries to discover the pinkie sense.

Is it that hard to believe that Vader's battery pack is rechargeable?

OMG, I feel so stupid right now.

I’ve seen this story multiple times, and i’ve JUST NOW realized that this was “episode 3” of the “Vader in the MLP Movie” story. Awkward!

That aside, this was a great episode!

(Yes, I call these “episodes”)

8751949
Thank you. :twilightsmile:

I have a feeling that you know, or at least have a theory on what's going on or going to happen.

8752518 Sorta.

I’ve seen a couple of the pics (by the guy that does your coverart pics) so I expect Vader to catch up to the Mane Six.

You’d have to skip to when Rainbow does the Sonic Rainboom cause your chapters (i’ve noticed) aren’t usually THAT long.

8752763
Well, here's a sneak peek of a scene of the next story that takes place after Twilight and the others escape from under Celaeno's ship, told in a script form.

Darth Vader: "Where are those little ponies that you stowaway on board? What have you done with the princess?"
Captain Celaeno: "We stowawayed no ponies..." [gasps] "This is a trading ship... We're only -" [chokes] "hauling Storm king merchandise..."
Darth Vader: "If this is a trading ship, why are all of your crew armed?!" [throws Celano to the ground] [angrily turns to Tempest, Grubber and the Storm Guards] "Commander, tear this ship apart until you found those ponies! And bring Capper aboard, put him with the others!"
Captain Celaeno: [holding her throat, gasping for air]
Mullet: "Captain, are you alright?"
Captain Celaeno: [gasping for air] "...Yeah. I think so."

8752889
Brief, but good.

This was a nice sneak peak. I can only imagine what the end-result’s gonna be like.

Also, nice nod to the beginning of A New Hope.

8753670
Thank you. It's a scene that represents the story cover image well.
Link to Cover art: https://ejlightning007arts.deviantart.com/art/Vader-Chocking-Captain-Celaeno-719560947

8753740
Yeah, that's the pic I was refeering to!

8752889
Might I make a suggestion, instead of Vader accusing them of being armed, how about he points out that they are not wearing their storm king uniforms? Just a thought.

8757052
That could work.
I should say that it was based on a comment of the comment section of the cover image on Deviantart.

8757148
I only made the suggestion because them not wearing their uniforms is more obvious then them being armed. Besides I think it makes more sense for them to be armed in case of a pirate attack. Which would be ironic considering that Caleno and her crew used to be pirates, but you get my point right?

8757175
Of course. And I like it.

Will do

8770614
I hope you liked my story. I read yours and I liked it. There were a few spelling errors that you missed, but it was still good.

Greetings!

You have requested a review of this story from the Reviewer's Cafe.

Here is your review!

Cheers.

8786681
Hey, Sparky Brony.

I just read your review of my story. I should tell you that it was improved because of the fact that I have someone as a proofreader and editor to fix any mistakes I made.

I'm really flattered that you enjoyed how I put Darth Vader into the story. I really did try to place Vader in the story, while sticking to the original story line of the MLP Movie for the most part. There are some minor differences, like Verko dying at the hands of Vader's force choke at the scene at Capper's place. And the scene where Vader engages the Main 6 before escaping on Captain Celaeno's ship. If you thought about that scene, would noticed that it got rushed. Like right when Twilight said "We have to get there! To the docks!", and then they turned up some stairs, the scene straight away cuts to the docks. That scene was rushed, but I have a feeling that there might be a deleted scene in where the Main 6 encountered something in between that scene. Though I don't know for sure if that's true. I thought that was the perfect spot to place Darth Vader into, and have him as an obstacle for the Main 6 to get past to escape.

Also, I'm glad you liked how Pinkie Pie save Twilight by popping out of nowhere, and splatting a cake in Vader's face. People who have read this story have commented about that part. Some were in disbelief that Darth Vader would be distracted by something like that, but from what I understand is that Darth Vader has never encountered someone like Pinkie Pie, who as any brony would know is so random, and is a constant physics law breaker. And as far as I know about Darth Vader, he's never encounter anyone or anything like that before, and I would suspect he wouldn't really know how to handle it. This would sort of give the Main 6 the slight upper hand. Also some trivia, that scene was inspired by a Darth Vader scene in Rogue One (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxL8bVJhXCM&feature=youtu.be&t=49s).

I'm sorry to find out that it was rejected, despite the major improvements, and I'm very sad for it. But at least it's great enough to make it into Scribblefest, and it's actually a bigger achievement. I'll personally be absolutely shocked beyond belief if my story ends up being the winner of the contest. Though it all depends on what people think of the other entries, which most of them is either about the outcome of what happened to Applejack's parents or about Scootlaoo's mystery family (which a friend of mine told me not to look at either of those 2 story types for spoiler reasons). But I feel that my story entry will get noticed a lot because of it being the sort of different or odd one out of the other common ones. And it's usually stories like that that get a large amount of attention in competitions like Scribblefest. It might make it pretty high in Scribblefest.

Login or register to comment