Chapter 34 — Ende
Chapter 34: Ende
“Oh, you’re ‘sorry’! Well, then, everything is fine!”
Regret.
I wasn’t a word I ever wanted associated with me, my thoughts, my actions, my deeds, or anything. Regret was for fools and cowards. Regret was that curious emotion smote from the mighty, and delivered unto the emotional and unstable. ’Twas for the weak and cowardly. It was the emotion that meant that if given the choice to do again, you’d make a different choice. And those who dwelt heavily upon it and its sister, guilt, were doomed to be pathetic and unable to get anywhere in life.
Regret was for Cards, is what I’m trying to say here.
It was not for the likes of me. And as I ran through the rain, ran towards the house wherein I knew Blackout and Stronghold to be, I felt no regret. No guilt. No remorse. If given the choice a thousand times over, a thousand times would I let Cards die.
Red lighting rupturing the dark sky above me, my duster and hat soaked with water, I kicked the door to Cards and Blackout’s house. My foot just sort of went straight through the door, and the rest of my body just sort fell down onto the three steps leading up the doorway.
Rain hit my eyes as I fell onto my back, the back of my head landing in the mud.
“Wow,” Jayne said with a whistle. “You really suck at this, don’t you?”
“Shut up, train!”
“No,” she replied flatly.
“Ugh, I hate everything,” I growled, kicking and trying to free my leg from the door. When that failed, I raised a gun and blew the door handle to dust. With a bit of effort, I crawled and floundered into the house.
“As a part of everything,” Jayne added, “I can safely say that this feeling is far from mutual. You’re my only source of fun, Gunslinger. So, I suppose I am forced to like you.” She yawned, somehow. “I must say, damning Cards was rather fun to watch.”
“Can it!” I snapped, struggling with the door. She didn’t reply thereto, so I kept fighting the door for my foot back. “Come on,” I said betwixt grunts, pulling my foot out of the door.
“Yes, come on, ya goofy bitch!” I heard Stronghold call out somewhence. Was he speaking to me or Blackout? If the latter, he’d really grown a pair of balls; if the former, then he knew me to be here, and that likely meant… something dramatic, I supposed.
Ignoring the mud on my hat and in my hair, I ambled to my feet and reloaded my missing bullet. Stronghold’s voice sounded like it came from upstairs, so up the stairs went I.
“Hold on, hold on, I nearly got this!” Stronghold exclaimed. “If you keep struggling against your bonds, you’ll get rope burns, and I’ll have to nurse you back to health!” He groaned loudly. “Dammit, one of these spells has to create a portal. Really, honey, do you know how hard is to go back home without that freaky, scary mirror-thing?”
Blackout screamed. “Do you fucking realize that the moment we’re through that thing, I’m going to tear out and eat your fucking eyes?!”
Stronghold laughed like a father watching his little girl fall down softly on her first attempt at walking. Although knowing him, this girl was Cards, and she was falling into a bunch of sharp, pointy objects not safe for children ages three and below. “Why, ma chérie, I can fix this. You’ll love me as I love thee!”
“Fuck you!” she spat, and I heard a loud sound like flesh being slapped. Blackout grunted before screaming.
“Shut your fucking mouth, you fucking beauty! How would you like that to no longer be a werekind, to no longer be artificial, a creation? When you come through with me, you’ll be real like me, like the Gunslinger!” Stronghold laughed. “And when you come back with me, you’re going to love me, Blackout! ’Tis fate! ’Tis the decree of the devices which hold all together, and you shan’t dissent therefrom for long!”
Bastard! Only I got to say stuff like “therefrom”; vague and annoying archaisms that nevertheless reflected a more one-to-one translation of Teutsch-to-Solarisch were my thing.
With one last hurdle, I rounded the corner and saw Blackout in her bedroom through the open door. She was grunting and panting hard, blood dripping from her mouth. Either she’d caught sudden-onset gingivitis (and they laughed at me for always brushing my teeth!), or Stronghold had hit her rather hard.
My first thought was that maybe the door was actually there but Stronghold’s magic had torn it across five separate dimensions, and so it could only be rendered as a mathematical question. That is, so I thought till Blackout saw me too, and the sudden look on her face was as if she’d just tried to sleep with a porcupine.
In any case, Stronghold was facing her, not me, and so I was unseen to him. Like my life depended thereon, and mayhap it did, I raised my gun and fi—I froze, just standing there. The doorway to the room was shimmering just slightly, like… and I’d never exactly seen one up close enough to know, but I was sure it was some sort of force shield. If my days of D&D had taught me anything, it was that either a force shield was invincible but on a timer, or it could only be penetrated with purely overwhelming force. Because, clearly, a game about magical fantasy as developed in a country well-known for its hatred of all things magic was the perfect source for accurate magical knowledge.
Were it the former, then firing at him would alert him to me, allowing him to prepare and fight me. He had demonstrated an ability to dodge bullets with his book magic, so who knew what now he could do. Were it the latter of the two cases, were my bullets strong enough to destroy the shield? If not, see the consequences of option A.
The woman with the blonde-with-black-streaks hair looked back to the dark man before her and spat blood onto his boots. “Eat shit and die.”
Stronghold crouched down and grabbed his wife by the chin. Tightly gripping her, he made her face him. A smile on his face, he said, “Why, if you keep speaking like that, I’m going to have to tie you to a chair rather than let you stay on the floor.” His eyes spread over her body. “And speaking of chairs,” he muttered, and pulled out a knife. He set his book onto the bed, and with his newly freed hand he grabbed Blackout, steadying her. Then he used his knife to cut off her shirt.
“There. See? I can’t see why you layer yourself with all the clothing.” He shook his head, pulling away her shirt. “Your flesh is so pretty. Hence, chairs.”
Chair. Said like shehr because the French can’t spell? Stronghold was a double bastard now; that was just so unfunny that a part of me just died a little inside.
As Strong creepily felt all over Blackout’s flesh, I searched for a plan. Wait, no, first I ducked behind the corner so that he wouldn’t see me. From here, I could see a hall closet, Cards’ bedroom, and the bathroom.
“And no matter what creature you are within, be it real or artificial,” Stronghold said in a sultry voice, “you are so… irresistible.” There was a moment of silence. “Hey, you know, why are all these things in your room different from back home? It’s weird enough that you had Cards in the house with you, but this thing?”
“Because I am not your Blackout!” the woman snarled. “This isn’t your world, that wasn’t your daughter, and I’m not your wife!”
As I looked into the bathroom and eyed the towels within, thinking of all my wet leather and the mud in my hair, Stronghold sighed loudly. “Look, mare, you’re not real quite yet. Everything within this world is a creation most artificial. But you can I make real, you I can give flesh and fur and a being on my world, my love. Because even if the Backbone were defeated, I planned ahead! I have a way! And all I need to do is—”
“Blah, blah, blah,” I muttered. “Incoming villainous monolog of evil.” Lo and behold, so it was such a monolog. Some boring stuff about his reasons or whatever, I didn’t care to listen. Instead, knowing that it was bound to be long-winded, I walked into the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and got the mud out of my hair.
The thought that I actually had possessed the time to fiddle-faff around, time which could have been used to save Cards, did not escape me. May the Fiddler play me, but this was good time to think up a plan of attack.
“Question is,” I muttered to myself in the mirror as I dried my wet outfit, “how do I get past that shield?”
Jayne sighed. “Look, a bullet like those you use can easily can through multiple walls, even concrete and brick without much problem. Maybe I can help, even.”
“Beg pardon?”
“Well, from what we saw in relation to where to are now, I can tell you where to shoot to get through the walls. Provided you’re not using those javelins, which would just explode the wall.” She went silent as I quickly unloaded and reloaded my guns with standard ammunition. I could make out Stronghold ranting and stomping around in his room. “Perhaps the only problem with this little thing is that since Stronghold is moving, I can’t quite pin him down. From what I saw, I could only tolerate stationary objects.”
“So we skirt around the corner, take a quick peek, and…” I paused. “But if he saw us, that might ruin everything, right?”
“Yeah.”
I pounded a fist into a palm. “So we do something to draw him out.”
“Like what?” Jayne asked, a little spark of excitement in her voice.
“Why, we shoot Blackout, of course.”
Jayne giggled. “Ah, I see! You’re just trying to wipe out Cards’ whole family, aren’t you?”
“Not by intent but by happenstance,” I said calmly. After a thought, I added, “Can you help my bullet only just graze her, not harming Blackout in any real way, just enough to bother Stronghold and mayhap lure him out here?”
“I suppose we could do that. Less fun than family friendly extermination.” She sighed as if I’d just told her she was adopted and that her real parents were undesirable ethnic minorities. “Should be easy enough.”
A reticule appeared in my vision. It was like a target in an archery range. I also spotted another one, which seemed to line up to whither pointed my revolver. With a few motions, I matched the two reticules up and fired.
In all candor, when Blackout let out that hugely girlish shriek, I had to hold a hand over my mouth so that I didn’t laugh at her pain. I stood and waited for Stronghold to bark an expletive, then storm out of the room. And to Jayne’s credit, he did come out like the idiot he was.
As soon as he stepped in front of the bathroom door, I gave him a high-pitched “Hello” and depressed the trigger of my revolvers. To my extreme irritation, the bullet just barely missed him. When I went to cock back the weapon, he spun around and darted. I tore after the man, keeping on his heels. There was no more little shield thingy in the doorway.
When he got into the room, he spun around and made a hand gesture. Of course, I’d seen enough magic to kenn whither this was going. And by that time, I was already tackling him to the ground.
“No!” he shouted. “I am the master of this domain!”
I tried to put my revolvers in his face, only to find a weird force of energy or something smacking my hand away. The gun went flying. As I watched the gun fly, I also saw Blackout huddled in the corner, trying to deal with the bloody furrow across her—
Stronghold slugged me across the cheek as I looked at Blackout. “You just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you?! Everything in life was fine till you showed up!”
And then he and I were rolling around like a snake trying to scratch its back, attempting to fight and do other things. However, I suspected that neither of us were exactly very good at unarmed combat in bodies that were rather alien to us.
“In answer to your question,” I said between grunts, “no, ‘well enough’ is just quitter-speak for ‘not nearly fun enough’.” I managed to get my right fist into his—“Oh, screw you to hell!” I spat as my fist just sort of stopped in front of his face. “So you can shoot people but not punch them, Mister Mephisto?”
“You call murdering my love and butchering my town, and kidnapping my daughter ‘fun enough’, then?!”
I would have shrugged had he not been biting my shoulder. Or maybe this was extreme tickle-time. Either or would have been equally embarrassing. “For the record, Cards only came along with me because she was a slut.”
“You need to get laid first in order to be a slut!”
“Just because no one would ever sleep with her doesn’t mean she didn’t have the mindset!” I replied before he slammed my head into the endtable. “Also, am I the only one to ever notice that ‘to get laid’ was always a passive-voice construction? Am I?” I threw his face at the bed’s metal supports, only to have him flail around and knee me in the gut.
“I lay her,” he countered. “Not always passive.”
“I like how we’re arguing semantics while trying to kill each other,” I commented, kneeing his groin hard enough to make him chirp. I managed to climb my way off the man and stand, only to find that he’d somehow had the same idea. Also, props to him for standing on severely kneed balls.
He and I were both panting, but it was he who spoke. “I’m gonna kill you, and I’m going to use my book to go back home to a better world, a world without you.”
“But still a world with Cards, so I guess you still lose in the end,” I replied, smiling. “The girl left with me willingly, if possibly too terrified of me to ever consider running away.”
“Oh, fuck it,” he groaned, shaking his head.
“Who, Cards?” I shook my hand at him. “No thanks. Her getting laid would destroy the cosmic balance of the universe. Just think thereabout. Picture it for a minute.” Stronghold sort of paused, no longer sneering at me. Holy shit, was that fool actually doing it?
“Cards. With a stallion’s swollen rod of fleshy masculinity inside her. Are you picturing it? Can you see it?” I could see his face contort as the image bubbled up in his mind, as if the idea itself were causing him physical pain. “Yes, the brave, beautiful stallion is vigorously penetrating her—in and out with a sound like a fist in wet jelly as she herself moans notes of pleasure which she oughtn’t kenn!”
Sronghold’s eyes bulged in absolute terror, like he had gazed into the abyss, and the abyss was Cards’ genitalia. Then his head just sort of exploded, spraying the room and me with bits of brain and skull and other things that a man didn’t generally want to get covered in. And holy shit, that was proof of just how incomprehensible it was for somebody to try to even contemplate Cards getting laid. Stronghold, however, could no longer be counted as a somebody, especially not after he sort of just fell down to the ground. There was no fanfare, no exciting drama; he just fell down and died.
Blackout stood behind where Stronghold had once stood, my revolver in hand. She was gritting her teeth in that way which was supposed to look scary, but in reality just looked as if you were reacting to a particularly racist joke. The unfunny kind.
When ours eyes met, she shrugged. “What? Were you expecting a one-liner?” Blackout tossed the gun onto the bed with disgust.
I gave the woman an utterly blank look. “Well, it’s sort of obligatory, no? Yes? Uh, wherefore are you staring at me like… You know, I’ll just… do this.” I crouched down and rifled through Stronghold’s pockets and whatnot.
“The book is over there,” Blackout said. “Take it. Also, where the hell is my daughter?”
“One, I’m not looking for the book, I’m looking for any random thing that I think I might want.” I sighed. “It’s a compulsive habit I picked up from years of D&D. Sadly, he has nothing of note.”
“And two?” Blackout asked as I stood up and made for the book.
“Two being that… it is no matter right now.” I ended with a sigh, facing away from Blackout as I leafed through the book. When-and-if-ever I found my Cards again, I was going to hug her and say I’m sorry. Of course, then she’d get scared, scream, and probably bite my ear off, so… since that line of thought ended with me being forced to bludgeon Cards to death with the hilt of my sword, I decided not to ever hug Cards ever again. Maybe I’d just stand really far away from her at night, hiding in the shadows and constantly screaming encouraging things at her instead.
I moved more towards the center of the room after picking up and reloading my revolver. Still not facing the woman, I looked through the tome, through the Calêrhos which had done so much harm. A section I roundly found in the book was glowing with a vague teal. Oddly, it was in Teutsch, though I figured it was some sort of magic to let everything be my preferred language. Briefly, I wondered what this text would read like if my preferred language was interpretive strip-club dancing.
“You are on Level 17 of Calêrhos.” Those were the words. There dark text above and below it listed a total of twenty-five levels. There was also a section in the book’s table of contents that noted “how to return to the overworld”. That seemed promising. All in all, I felt like I could probably totally screw this all up and return home as an indescribable mass of misery and electrified sex-jelly.
“I will be out of your hair, soon, Blackout,” I said almost absently.
There was a pregnant pause before the woman spoke up. “You know, the King is likely to reward you most greatly for single-handedly defeating the greatest threat to the realm.” Her tone was eerily seductive in intent, although all it did for me was make me want to jam my thumbs into her eyes and pop them. “Are you sure you won’t consider staying?” With me her tone implied at the end.
“No,” I said, putting the book away in my bag. “I am above the vice of sex, ma’am.”
She snorted. “Right. Hence why you ranted about Cards getting laid for so long and in such detail, as if you’d been brooding over the topic for a while, right?”
I tugged on my hat’s visor. “Goodbye.” I moved towards the door, keeping Blackout from my sight.
“Fine,” she hissed with a grunt. “I guess it’s back to life in boring Sleepy Oaks with my useless wannabe-slut of a daughter. Sad, really, since I think she rather liked you.”
I paused at her remark, both in step and thought.
“What? Somehow that gets you to stop?” She snickered. “I don’t see what anyone could see in her over me. Look at me, I’m better looking, more charming, and do you see these tits? They’re real, and Cards didn’t inherit them at all, worthless brat.” In the room’s lighting, the upper half of her face became shrouded in shadows when she took a step forwards. The grin on her face, the only thing I could really see anymore, seemed monstrous. “What d’ya say, Gunslinger? You and I would make a damn fine team. My brains and your brawn. We could do anything to anyone.”
“Cards…” I wasn’t sorry. Dammit, I wasn’t! But still a deep part of me wished that I was.
“Oh, her? Sure, fine, be my guest. You be mine and she’ll be yours. To be honest, she’d be glad for any—”
“…is dead,” I finished, and Blackout fell silent. Long and hard. She actually cracked a very brief chuckle. Nervous, mayhap? “And it was all my fault that she died.”
There came a long pause. Her face emerged from the shadows as she took a step back. The grin was gone, but there were no tears in her cold eyes. “Well then, Gunslinger. Looks like I have one more thing to thank you for.”
I could feel my hands shaking as I looked down at the carpet, listening to the rain hit hard outside. “Two days ago, in a hospital in New Pegasus, I met a very brave and very sad woman.” My hands wouldn’t stay still. They clawed further and further down. “And do you know what she said to me?”
The woman said nothing.
“No mother should ever have to outlive her daughter.”
My hands no longer shook, for the heavy weight of the revolvers kept them steady. When I spun around, I got to see the look of pure surprise upon her countenance. It didn’t last long.
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That ENDING
Dayum, I have
a hard cothe shakes..I eagerly await Act 3
Ouch. It's that feeling of losing that puppy you were just now getting attatched to, only to see a monster eat it before your eyes. Or eating dry liver.
Hmm. I don't know why, but it feels like the title of Act 3 appears to very subtly hint at something ominous that might happen.
Man that was great! Now when do we get to meet the old Cards again? I miss her...
So were getting to the end of the h- werekindred stuff? Cool.
Also, Act 3, ho! Have you read / are aware of John Dies at the End?
3987743
Mission accomplished
So that's it for Jericho for a while huh?
Oh well can't wait for Phoenix Fire to come out though!
Damn...that ending was as deep as a trench....in the Pacific Ocean.....after global warming.....
is that title a reference to something? i feel like it is, maybe a movie with scary inter dimensional bug monsters? with a character named john?
oh well, this is a great story. Can't wait for act 3
3987881 I believe that is the reference, yes.
I imagine you could also easily stuff her head first into a duffel-bag and then (gently) poke at her with sticks.
Did not Luna/Blue-Eyed Mare, Felicitat, et al. mention this in their visions and prophecies?
As a side note, I wonder if Jayne will return with Jericho to Equestria? I have this silly picture in my head of her transferring to the Friendship Express and then coming to the horrifying realization that her new form is sickeningly cutesy what with the standard Equestrian saccharine heart motifs and pastel candy colours. Jericho, sensitive stallion he is to traumatic body changes, mocks and teases Jayne by talking down to her in baby talk. Jayne does not take this well:
"I AM SUPPOSED TO BE AN ELDRITCH TECHNO-ABMONIATION OF PAIN AND LAMENTATION! Nopony will take me seriously any more! I cannot strike terror into ponies' hearts when I am shaped like gingerbread houses with pink trim and heart accents!"
Crazy mental images like this are what I love this story for.
I still feel weird about killing people that aren't fighting back, even if they totally deserve it. Cherry being the other one. I do not think it was wrong for Jericho to shoot those two at all, it just feels weird.
3987757 Clearly potatoes will be featured in Act 3.
3988159 Yes, and they will be most glorious.
Noooo.. I hate stories that kill off the main character at the end. It's like you're getting all emotionally attached to them and... wait, this is Jericho we're talking about, isn't it?
Great! Kill him with fire.
Wait, you'll probably make me feel like an awful person when he dies, won't you? You're just evil enough to make him out to be the hero in the end or something like that. I'll bawl my eyes out because he's such a good pony. I don't wanna bawl my eyes out...
...
Aw, fiddlesticks. Fine, fine, I'll keep reading. Crushric, you evil author you...
Meaningful Echo *glug*
Guess I should update the TVT page.
EDIT: Updated. I know there's a bunch other tropes I missed since I last worked on it -- which, going by the history, was in early December -- so if somebody who's recently reread the chapters wants a go at it, please do so.
Also, is the next book's title a reference to John Dies At the End? I read it online, back when it was free; heard there's also a movie out of it, which I'll probably never watch, because it'd probably end with me staying awake for over 24 hours because I'm too scared of nightmares if I fall asleep. (That happened once. I was reading the TVT page for The Enigma of Ami-whatsit Fault.) Um, what was I thinking about. Ah, yes. If it's like JDATE, does that mean that Jericho does NOT in fact die at the end?
By the way, if you could ever end up getting this published in dead tree format, I would TOTALLY buy a copy. Like, didn't Past Sins end up getting something like that?
...No....No, no, no.... Goddamnit. I had a feeling you'd pull shit like this...Well...maybe we'll finally get some happy times for Jericho, though we all know he doesn't really deserve it now...I kind of feel sorry for him....He is....pitiable.
Yes, we are aware of John Dies at the End. I haven't seen it though. And whether Jericho actually dies at the end—it's not my place to give spoilers. Trolling, on the other hand...
At the end of Act III
Jericho, coughing up blood: "My one regret... is that I never got to meet Luna..." *gasp* *cough* *dies*
/troll
Will you be working on that new book, or going straight into the third Jericho?
Er mah gerd. So many words. I have to read it now.
. HELLO MINE TURTLE
Damn dude...
Bitch deserved it though.
Twas a glorious chapter I must say
Also you cross Stronghold's name off the "The Rest of Cards Family That Still Need to Die" list.
Jericho is the only hero I'd rather not save me.
This is by far one of the greatest stories I've ever read. Keep up the great work!
Excellent job.
That is all.
Well, Blackout wasn't quite evil enough to have that coming, but she was a good deal closer to it than most of the people Jericho's offed, maimed, or otherwise left very sad. So I guess it's an improvement.
Well then.
I'll have to step up my game to finish the Überproject before the story ends.
The race is on.
Oh. OH. OOOOH. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.
Waitwhatwasdattitle.
THIS CAN ONLY END IN PERFECTION AND RAINBOWS.
Also, the moment where his head explodes I seriously thought he died because of contemplating cards getting laid. That was probably the greatest moment in all of literacy for me.
"Act 3: Jericho Dies at the End"
I just have one thing to say.
It is about damn time.
I'm assuming it's more of a figurative type of dying. My prediction is that the other Cards will get laid, and then Jericho will have "died."
Okay, a short, yet good chapter, really. Weaponized Cards-Coitus is pretty much the most random thing I've ever read, but I laughed.
That's so you.
Damn, this story would be grimer than grimdark if it'd take itself serious.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Welp
That is definitely something that happened.
Oh my gosh! A Jericho chapter that isn't tens of thousands of words long!
What madness is this? 
At least finally we have presumably the end of the end of Jericho's time in this not quite Equestria Girls human land. And really, the dude's head explodes imagining Cards having relations. 
It was almost anticlimactic, but I never cared for this particular sidequest anyway. Now, we can get on with the story. So, keep up the good work, I guess. 
At the ending my smile bloomed like the multiverse's most beautiful flower -->
. Then when I read the note.... it was reduced to ashes made of shit. --> 
Long story short, I cried a little.
3993222
I personally think that cards is kind of cute. And because I don't really respect her, were I to be a pony I would have no problem with rutting her brains out through her ass. But not anal rutting, that's where the brains are coming out.
But that's when his head exploded. During her climax.
3994048
(oh the hypocrisy in saying that)
>Wanting to sex cards
HA, weeabo pedophille!
3868946
I think I'd rather see a cards side story if anything, but that wouldn't work and everything would be horribly depressing though her point of view, unless you had jericho narrating as an invisible ghost or some shit because raisins.
4002657
Damn it all to Tartarus! I just looked at the youngest age you can be considered a pedophile, and I'm right on the dot at sixteen. But just how old is Cards anyways? Pretty sure she's at least 15 and that's perfectly legal being only a one year difference (as far as dating is considered, sex would be a no go at that age). As apposed to a thirty year old and an eighteen year old going at it, I think the age difference makes it a little bit weird. But hay, live and love right?
And I think a Cards side story would be delightful for those reasons.
4002812
Doesn't matter if she was 32, it's the damn concept you sicko.
One does not simply accept the virginity of cards, it has to be a traumatic and hallowing experience, possibly with drug gangbangers involved.
4002980
Of course one does not simply accept Cards virginity. There's friendship, dating, and marriage to take care of before that. I personally think she needs a lot more happiness in her life, and if I'm a sicko for that then so be it. Nopony should be born for the soul propose of being miserable. For this, I would be her
hay baconbeacon in the darkness.4002812
She's 17.
4003155
B-but... it's cards? You can't fornicate cards! That's gross man. It's akin to wanting to fuck a squirrel with daddy issues, or maybe an adolescent chinchilla which has watched it's owner callously pour it's food down the drain in front of it's face because he/she's decided it's too much hassle taking care of it, immediately after the act of doing so too.
More literally so for the former in spirit. Clearly that tower of fedoras upon your head pierces the heavens.
4003183
what makes it gross though? As far as I'm concerned she is just a sad girl that suffered and lost to much.... and something tells me that Jericho isn't through with her yet. I just hope that one day he can pull his head out of his arsch loch long enough to figure out when enough is enough.
I think he won't die physically, but, instead, the code will be completely shattered. Jericho will become a monster. And then act 4 will be redemption.
I can see it now. Act 3 will end with Luna fighting Jericho, and Jericho is slightly off by fact that ITSFUCKINGLUNA and get whooped. He barely lives, because JEEEERRRRIIIIICHOOOOOOOOOO! And so, the redemptioning begins!
4003213
Cards is a lesbian...Also I bet you only find cards appealing because of her shame and utter desperation. She's short, she's a wreck, nobody should have to deal with that, let alone want to put their dick inside it.
It's like putting your dick inside a skanky heroin addicted Thailandic hooker, except instead of multiple STD's you'll be getting bombarded with emotional angst and just...just problems man.
What more can I say, her issues will ruin you bro, bro's before hoes broham.
4003313
Even though I am a great listener and would help her solve/cope with her problems, and I already act as a rage/sorrow vent for my family and friends anyways. Plus moving in with Cards would solve a tone of the problems I hold right now. I need a new friend to talk to and if I can help them with any emotional problems or need a second or third opinion on something then I would be more than happy to help.
And no I don't find desperation and shame attractive, that's horrible. And I don't remember her being a lesbian, care to point me to that part? But even if she is I can still be one of those good friends that secretly holds feelings and wonders what it could be like to hold such a large piece of her heart.
4003441
Cards is a lesbian, she has magazines, but would fuck a stallion because she is THAT lonely and desperate.
Also you must have a closet full of fedoras mien freund, I sincerely hope you are just fracking with me or just seriously in character. It's cards. She'll cheat on/break up with you the second her conditions improve, and chances are she'll probably just use you for sex and nothing else. (because lets face it, you two will have nothing in common and it'll get really depressing after she's finished lumping all of her infinite woes and insecurities upon you while you nod gently and pretend to care so she'll put her hoof down your pants
)
She has the mentality to be a slut. Tis cannon.
4003655
I'd like to point out the possibility of her being bi. I'd also like to point out that everybody is different and not all obsessed with how many times they can shove their glied in something other than their hand/hoof/paw. And if we were in our OC character then we would be speaking in third person and like the olden ponies and making horrible death sex jokes about foals until somepony complains in a polite mannerism, I see a wingboner, or slapping us with a lewd part of their body.
3989584 Or it could be a metaphorical death such as the death of his personal views and develops a conscious and feels regret/remorse?... Nahhh, Luna bops him to the moon and he explodes.
4003655
4003808
Hoooooh boy, now.
IRL!Cards is going to love hearing that a discussion like this popped up in the comments...