If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.
Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.
Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.
113134
Thank you. The Imperium is going to be mentioned as little as possible. I simply want that to be purposely vague becasue nopony actually knows. It's just ancient legend. I do have plans for them somewhere along the lines, but nothing I can say for certain.
As for gammatical errors those things always befudle me. I've edited each chapter at least thrice trying to fix those. If anybody sees a particularly egregious typo please inform me.
This is very interesting and detailed story, so far :)
I am afraid he gathers too much attention around him. With all his knowledge Celestia won't be pleased
Interesting
“My master, and my forefathers are smiling at me now, can you say the same?" - This fic
"My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperials. Can you say the same?" - Skyrim
Reference?
115165
I'd be lying If I said it wasn't. However, it dualy referenced the fanaticism of the Sangheli from Halo (In my head, the pit fiend's face reminds me of the split jaw from Halo's elites). I simply found that line of dialogue from Skyrim fiiting. But as a famous Greek philosopher once said, "There is no such thing an an original idea." I sincerly hope the reference didn't 'put you out' so to speak. I'm aware certain references can ruin a fic; such as spamming 20% cooler every with Rainbow Dash.
As you'll soon find out the word 'Imperials" is used to describe ancient beings later on.
This story is so win!
i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/LegionScavenger/YouSirAreAwesome.jpg
115268
Thank you. I one day hope for this to be on the EqD. :D
Celestia knows. He is soooo fucked now.
aw
cliffhanger
126221
Thank you kind sir, I aim to please. I intended Jericho to act as somewhat of a foil to the mane six, as a result only Twilight and Fluttershy actively like him. Though unlike a traditional foil I had to work it to show off Jericho's flaws and strengths as a character. The idea simply was that because the entire way his culture is structured that he may never be completely compatable with most of the mane 6. He is raised by codes that Equestria doesn't follow and the many idea of Equestria he is simply incapable of believing. I intend for these cultural issues to resurface again and again for better or worse.
Now to get this past the prereaders from the EqD!
This is a really great story. Jericho is a brilliant character, funny and badass at the same time. Making pinkie eat meat was hilarious. One small thing though - his middle name was pretty obvious. I guessed it ages ago.
This is hilarious to read. Easily one of the better fics out now.
Keep up the good work, Friend!
130498
By "staying level headed" do you mean Jericho's actions riled you up? If so then I'm happy that I can create a character you can feel for (or agaisnt).
130503
The idea of his middle name's importance was where he got it from, not what it actually is. It'll have more meaning later. I'm glad that I can create a character who is very human and not a flat or unchanging character.
130514
I aim to please! I have no illusions of myself, but I can't help but dream of Jericho one day being up there with stories like Past Sins. I know I'll probably never be that good, but aim high, right?
If I recall correctly the prereaders from the Equestria daily will e-mail you if your story is being reviewed. If that's the case then I'm struggling to get a prereader. The story has the tags [Adventure][Light Grimdark] when I try to submit it. In your opinions are these tags accurate or should I change them?
YAAAAAY!!!!
im so happy.
tis a good story here.
MORE!
130533 well i definetley feel for him but it should be spelt fine not find
130577
130741
Is "spelt fine not find" and error on my part of yours? I'm a little confused. All the same I'm glad folks like Jericho, he actually went through several "builds" before I settled on how he is today. If you'd like I could explain how he got from his original version to the stallion he is today.
Your enjoyment of my little story fills me with elation! I shall do my best to update every four or so days (likely sooner if I can) at around 2pm EST. I actually wrote most (6,000 words) of chapter 8 this morning by around 10am. I wake up at around midnight on weekends so as to enjoy the mornings and fill your afternoons with glee. The hardest part is repeatedly editing the chapters before I publish them so that they make sense all by my lonesome. But in the end it's worth it!
Now if only I could get a prereader from the EqD.
i have no idea anymore I BELIEVE THAT THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION IS TO DECLARE CIVIL WAR!
130942
I don't quite follow your train of thought. Is the Equestrian civil war somehow unclear/illogical?
132710
So it woud be prudent to fix that to make it stay light grimdark? Can do! I was attempting to show the Jericho has a dark side. The Imperial site was going to be some sort of techno-magic research facility. But I got sidetracked by the hydra. I may or may not try to go back there.
And the idea behind the whole science scene was to further explain why Prussians dislike Celestia and Equestria in general. I seem to do better at writing interesting conversations than alot of things. How curious.
Edit: I've gotten rid of all the (admitedly excessive) blood references. I had simply figured that because the hydra was not a brightly colored and lovable pony that it would provide some leeway for aditional violence. Let me know if it's still too much.
So celestia is a liar
132991
Yes and no. If you would kindly take a moment to recall my word choice for Celestia's thoughts towards her little ponies in Chapter 5 you would notice an issue. Celestia (as I see her) is not a tyrant in the traditionial sense, rather she is a kind, benevolent ruler of justice and whatnot. However the Prussians still hate her, when Twilight points Celestia's kindess out to Jericho he simply dismissed it as Celestia "getting soft in her old age." Jericho is completely unwilling to think of Celestia as anything else than the genocidal tyrant that he's been told she was his entire life; in other words Prussians are practicaly brainwashed to hate Celestia.
However Prussia also has a few things on it's side. Celestia did obliterate the Griffon Empire for attacking Equestria; she and her sister did come out of the blue suddenly and somehow Celestia became the Holy Equestrian Empress. Brandenburg was the most powerful Equine electorate state and it voted against her, as the Pendergasts had always been the best leaders of the empire (like the IRL Habsburgs after Rudolph IV) the majority the Empire not around the Duchy of Everfree sided with Aloysius. The Prussians don't belive Celestia is a goddess either; the faith of northern Equestria (where Brandenburg was) was primarily Equine Catholic. So the Prussians legitametely see Celestia as a paramount of heresy, but also an enemy to science and reason.
I'll be elaborating more on this as I go deeper into the story. I just don't want this to turn into huge walls of text about history. I'd rather deliver it naturally through conversation, even if that takes longer to establish. Just remember that I write perspectives based on a philosophy: there are three sides to everys story; yours, mine, and the truth.
134640
Thanks for pointing that out! That's the problem when the entire scene is memorized in your head, you miss things. I honestly do appreciate that, it helps! I sware, sometimes I write like I didn't know modern english, did you know that my biggest problems when written essays way back when was that I wrote in a Victorian dialect of English?
As far as Fluttershy getting hurt I feel the same way, and so does Jericho. I actually got carried away when writing that scene as the violence was, as 132710 pointed out, extremely excessive. I'm aiming for [Light Grimdark] rather than [Grimdark] because alot of people dislike the idea of lovable ponies being horribly maimed.
To be honest, whether Jericho found the Imperial ruin or the hydra was decided by the flip of a coin somewhere around 10am. I also liked the idea of Jericho not being able to absolutely prove his case against Celestia because it seemed too early to start something that big. That and what would have been in there was incredibly sci-fi.
134656 I was talking about the raising of the sun raising thing
135277
Oh well... Enjoy the wall of text/spoilers anyways! But I'll purposely not provide conclusive proof against Celestia for at least a short while, as the final proof would have been located in the Imperial ruin.
soo is Celestia running a nanny state, where she violently keeps her ponies ignorant and innocent of the world? If thats so, i could picture a nice confrontation between Celestia and Jericho, where one side wants to keep equestria out of the war effort against demons while the other tries to say that without equestria, the war will be lost and the whole ponydom wil be DOOOOOOOOOOOMED.
Is this true or am i pulling this theory out of my ass?
140634
To say she is running a nanny state is not innacurrate, but she does not do so violently. I like to keep close to show canon as I can, you see. So Celestia is legitametly as she appears in the show; kind, benevolent, caring, other synonym for nice, et cetera. Celestia simply wants to keep her ponies innocent and pure. Why do her little ponies have to know the horrors of war and true evil if they don't need too? Ignorance is bliss. However your second line of thought is more on par with mine.
Jericho, like most Prussians, wishes to see ponykind united once again - to reestablish the Kaiserreich in other words. The thing is because Jericho is the scion of Prussia that would put him in the position of Emperor of ponykind should Prussia conquer Equestria, so his motivations are less than valient at times. It should be noted that Prussia has been succesfully fighting the daemonic hordes for over a millenium, they don't exactly need the manpower (ponypower?) of Equestria to survive. Prussia believes it is supierior to Equestria, the real reason they want Equestria is a sense of romanticism. Think Manifest Destiny from U.S. History.
I'l l be explaining some of his reasons for doing what he does in the next chapter, which I am currently at around 3,100 words with.
Oooo.. i wonder if Zecora was an something assassin-esque before she was banished/fled to Everfree. That would explain her adeptness with potion (and perhaps poison) making. Silly as that notion of an canon character of the show is, its still highly suspicius why she suddenly lives alone in the middle of the forrest on a foreign land. Maybe she was a local witchdoctor, who gained too much power that the local tribal chieftains had to banish her to end her influence without making a martyr of her... Or maybe she was the local druglord, mixing all sorts of fun stuff to the delight of locals, and had to flee after she was busted by the goverment, Or,,,, Or,,,,,
Damn, all that crazy conspiracy came from a single line in this chapter....
Awsome chapter as always, and any extra content you can make seems like godsend at this moment sooo...
That is ... if you want to
Do the spinnoff, the idea seems solid and interesting.
151809
Thanks you for your continued patronage! Do remember that all Jericho has is idle speculation. He may be clever, but he's no psychic. He's only a pony, he can still be wrong,
I'll probably work on the spin off sometime around chapter twenty or so; it would focus on the rise of the alicorns and Aloysius's quest to destroy them finished with the rise of the Prussian state. But first I'll have to break the 100k word barrier! At the rate I'm going I'll take through the 100k word wall in 4-5 chapters flat. I can write about 1000 words in a half hour, the issue is simply quality control. After 100k words I'll push to get this on the EqD ever more. Still can't even get onto the EqD review queue for some odd reason.
You have one now.
The story is going wonderfully right now, and I feel it is hitting its stride (which is saying something considering how good it has been).
A wiseass. I like him already.
LOL! TOTALLY WORTH THE BEATING!
160606
Thank you. I try never to beg, prefering instead to earn. The fact the folks consider my writing to be good is simply awesome! Words can hardly describe the joy. I'm also glad that you think its getting even better. I've gotten past most of the character introductions and personality building so that boring part of the story is over. With Jericho firmly established as a person (pony?) I think the main plot can begin to roll out. Since I've promised to work on even better chapters in order to earn favorites and 5 stars the timing couldn't have been better!
This story kind of writes itself anyways. When I originaly outlined Suum Cuique the chapter ended with Jericho staying in Twilight's library and suspecting that Twilight and her friends were the elements of harmony. When writting that scene out I couldn't find any logical way that Jericho could stay in Twilight's library while still having everypony stay in character. That kind of situation happens a lot, in fact. The only things that were originaly set in stone for this story was the beginning and the end.
161316
He kind of had that coming to him, didn't he? As far as his being a wiseass is concerned, I always found that type of character to be supremely enjoyable to read. A wiseass with a heart of gold is therefore one of my favorite types of character, alas it's also one I don't see too often in MLP fic. The way I see it, if writing Jericho K. Pendergast's dialogue is fun, then so should reading it be.
I've actually been planning out Jericho's character for months before I actually wrote down this story. I went as far having over ten different names for him before settling on what it currently is. I'm glad it paid off. I don't think this story would be half as good as it is if Jericho weren't the lovable jackass he currently is.
162086
I know, right? Being a wiseass may not be very good for your body, but the payout is SO worth the pain! (well, usually.)
I'm really enjoying this and this chapter convinced me to read the whole thing. He was a little mean about Ponyvill though.
Can you either turn back time or make this story less awesome please? I need to go to sleep.
Oh sheet. Foreshadowing!! you got me pumped.
You need to re-read or get a pre-reader. There were at least 7 or 8 major mispellings or grammar mistakes, and it was very jarring.
Also, this was just like 30 minutes of him being a dick just because he was annoyed, and he just got meaner and meaner. Which isn't outright bad, but it was unpleasant to read. Remember that sarcasm isn't a personality, it's just a way to express it.
164140
I'm looking for a pre-reader something awful, I swear! I just haven't gotten any offers. I've spent at least two whole days going back and forth trying to fix my egregious errors. Could you help me out by pointing out any major spelling errors? I'm in dire need of a pre-reader.
As a side note I was purposely trying to get you to dislike him somewhat with that whole scene. I was attempting to establish that he isn't a very nice pony in the traditional MLP sense, he has limits to what he can tolerate. I want you, the reader, to see how he had his good and bad qualites. He outright despises Pinkie and Rainbow, tolerates Rarity, is neutral with Applejack, but he only likes Twilight and Fluttershy. He's a person, he can't get along with everypony. I simply wanted you to see that. I guarentee there's people you like IRL that have incredibly irritating or otherwise unpleasants sides to them. If he perfectly got along with everypony there'd be a lot less tension and oppertunity for situational humor. With Jericho he just gets sarcastic-mean when angry, but usually is a swell stallion.
Sorry for keeping you up late, my friend.
Edit: Drat, I've fallen in rating. Time to put out even better chapters to earn that five star mark!
Canterlot, prepare for 2 heavy doses of Kickass and Smartass!
.... when i saw the pic i was stund
i am also far more intrested in the story now and thats saying somthing i had already given 5 stars so off to my friends house to give u more
168977
I'm glad somebody got that entire reference. Originally I was just going to use a blown up version of the pic that, I suppose, is your profile pic. Then it occurred to be that would be in poor taste as you already use that. So I found that picture and couldn't resist. I love steampunk, that's why my Prussians are vaguely steampunk.
I had to add them because, while listening to Clint Eastwood, I was worldbuilding in my head. I was suddenly struck down with nostalgia as I found a certain old box. Then the thought occured to be that the Vinci would be a really cool edition to Jericho's backround. I honestly couldn't resist because originally, in my mind, a strange robot did kill Jericho's expedition to the Frozen Throne. The clockwork man fit in so well that I just couldn't resist adding it. Then 2,000 words later you've a large portion of Jericho's backround and worldbuilding in place.
And if you really like it that much there's always favorites, my friend!
168027
I take it there were no outstanding grammatical errors, this time?
169238
Nope. Story's flying smooth.
damn your cliff hangers! but discord zombies sound interesting
So that's how he ended up in Celestia's throne room.
176107
Ayep. Jericho sees to have the unfortunate habit of making a poor impression on authority. It's entirely his own fault that he ended up in her throne room as a prisoner. But then again he's sort of nervous about something bad happening to him so he's already on extreme edge.
176093
Just imagine a solid wall of flesh eating zombies. It sounded like something Discord would do if he lost his sunny demeanor to me.
176116
That explains the KOed guards.
We found the Imperium battleship twas making such a fuss, we had to sink the Jericho cause the princess depends on us!
yeah hit those decks a gallopin and turn those guns around! When we meet the Jericho we gotta cull her down.
I was almost getting tired of the real world references until that part
I can completely empathize with J's observations about Luna. After all, besides invasion, what would be the other way for a prince to take over an Equestria ruled by Princesses?
On the other hoof, some of those irl references are getting old. Whenever he makes an allusion I just know that the other characters are going to go "what" and he's going to say "nevermind", and maybe one of them will insult the other. It's annoying for Jericho, the characters, and now for me too.
It worked with the songs, and a few other places, but it doesn't add anything most of time.