• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 41 minutes ago

PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords, and reviews both independently and for Seattle's Angels. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

Sequels1

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Reddux the Tyrant


A threat is forming in the underbelly of Equestria, a threat whose true nature remains disturbingly elusive to Equestria's Night Princess.

With her millennium-old confidants long dead and gone, the newly-returned Princess Luna calls upon a dangerous but loyal ally to gather the ponies she needs from her sister's unfamiliar Equestria. Together, they seek out the underdogs and the overshadowed, the second-place and the unappreciated, those who's virtues are not so readily visible in the light of day. Ponies among whom she has much in common.

They are not like the Element Bearers.

They are no heroes.

A big thanks to Eosphorite for the commissioned cover art!

The No Heroes Series
Chronological from Top to Bottom:
Shadow Pony
Reddux the Tyrant
No Heroes Part I – The Roster
No Heroes Part II - The Journey Home
Lightning's Bolt
No Heroes Part III - For Dreams
No Heroes Part IV - The Crystal Empress
No Heroes: Beyond the Everfree
No Heroes: Life of Pie

The Fleur-Verse
Chronologically from Top to Bottom:
Shadow Pony
Reddux the Tyrant
No Heroes Part I - The Roster
No Heroes Part II - The Journey Home
Lightning's Bolt
The Weed
The Challenge of Fleur
Ordinary World
A Challenge for Fleur
Sweet to Eat: Tales of Nightmare Night

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 154 )

First!

Also, this has promise. Keep up the good work, can't wait to see more from you! :pinkiehappy:

2636372

I would have been first if I hadn't been busy reading it!

I'm only one chapter in, but aside from the rather jarring unfamiliarity of the setting at the beginning, it's been excellent so far.

Bill Nye the science guy

2636397

Best scientist ever... besides Stevie Hawking.

Aside from Fine C. being a bit of a gary-stu, this is brilliant. I like that you didn't use Octavia's name until the end.

I suddenly like Fine Crime a little bit more...

Mm, not bad. Will watch the sequel.

2636413
2636397

And now you guys have his theme song in my head. :derpytongue2:

Wow, what's with the numbers? Me=Clueless. :facehoof:

Great story and really interesting set up so far can't wait to start on the next story

I found this series when I looked at book IV and after reading the description, decided to star with the first one. After reading the beginning to this series, I can't wait to get further in. I have high hopes for how this story will turn out! :twilightsmile:

2969513

You've got a looooot of catching up to do my friend. :pinkiehappy: Hopefully the adventures of Luna's team will keep you thoroughly engrossed while I work to the (hopefully) epic, (supposed to be) dramatic final battle!

Could a Bloodmane possibly be... a pony VAMPIRE?!?!?!? :pinkiegasp:

2969757 You shall see... in another four chapters.

What an excellent way to start the show.

I can hardly wait to see how this all turns out.

3165570
:raritydespair::raritydespair:WARNING, WARNING WILL ROBINSON!:raritydespair::raritydespair:

I'm glad you enjoyed it! But I must caution; things get darker as we go along.

And darker.

And darker.

Hi! I'm here on behalf of the Good Grammar Directory. Your story has been approved and added to our folders. :)

Man. Fuck secret tests of character. Fuck them with goddamn crowbars and knives in every available orifice. Thoroughly.

Even if this is just the intro, this need like a thousand of everything.
Thumbs, faves, follows, the works.

3585848
Thanks a ton! I think it doesn't get any attention 'cause it's literally the first story I wrote on FimFiction. Unknown (non-clopping) writer = unknown story. :fluttercry:

3588653
That's sad
This is really good.

Alright...
I'm just going to out a quick note here...
How in Equestria has something THIS excellently written and THIS well paced have so few comments/reads on it?

I noticed you have like, 4 of these no heroes stories, and I am also aware that I'm over 1/2 way through the first...
But if the others are as brilliant as this... You have yourself a fan...

As mentioned at the start, this is only a short note, I'll go much broader at the end of the story... But, yeah... It astounds me at how little exposure this story has...

3964105
I firmly believe the lack of attention is due to the fact that the No Heroes series was my very first story published on FIMFiction. Nobody knew me, and nobody noticed. But then, that seems to be the story of my FIMFiction life. A few of my stories have hit the popular box, and I would say at least two have been undeniable hits, but either through bad luck or some flaw in my writing I just can't seem to score a real attention-grabber.

Oh well. I've got 65 wonderful followers through prolific writing! I'll get there.

At any rate, I'm glad to see you're enjoying Part 1 of the series! It's always good to see someone discover it. I just hope you'll go all the way to the end and pepper me with comments the whole time (I live on comments!).

Alrighty; where to start!

As I said in my previous comment like, 3-5 chapters back... How has this got so few reads?
Seriously? I don't get it... Sure, it's a bit OC-centric, but the characters have actual flaws and back-stories (while near-standard cliche) that are completely understandable given the situations they find themselves in...

Mind you, there is so little on some of the characters that you basically have to build them yourself... Lightning Dust, Octavia (And even Luna) come across as their own character, with enough depth and complexity that makes their respective reasoning to join in completely, well... Complete!

The back-story of Fine I found rather interesting... And the true remorse he feels after doing what he has to just to survive... He does horrible things for a living, and yet I can't help but like the guy because of what he's been through and what he must continue to do to survive himself...

Another note: You posted this entire thing within 8 days....
8 DAYS?!?

I'm sorry, but I must know, how long did it take you to write this whole thing...?

But of course, no story is perfect... And there were a few issues I noticed crop up over time...

The most nit-picky issue I had was the structure... Quite a few times through each chapter I'd have to re-read a section because some words didn't fit or a sentence didn't flow correctly... But this was posted in 8 days, so I have no right to complain...

Although it is a fairly long story (by comparison to most other stories on this site) I did find that some of the sections for each character's story felt rather rushed... (For example: Fine Crime returning home... it was "Hey, I'm back dad"
"Oh, I've missed you, where have you been?"
"Working for the government....") And that's it, that's all it felt like... I understand that they would've kept talking after the scene change... But the section was so short it just stuck out and felt really out of place for me...

And then there was Sombra....
I just..... I didn't understand what happened... HOW it happened... I mean, Twilight walked into the section of the museum dedicated to Sombra... Then a shard of his horn started glowing and attacked, somehow reconstructing the rest of his body... But there was nothing those three could do because they were locked in Crystal.... I mean, at first I thought he had taken over Twilight's body because his horn attached/covered Twilights, but that wasn't the case.... and... yeah.... I don't even... >.>

then that cat-thing... I mean, it was foreshadowed at the end there that she(?) has a greater meaning, but it wasn't explained.... I don't know, I guess I'll find out in book two...

But, yeah... everything that I didn't mention was fine...
Better than fine, GREAT even!
Onwards to book two!
CHARGE!

3990307
Holy smackerdoodles! This is far better than I expected. :pinkiehappy: Do provide this level of detail in all your after-story comments! So let me just hit these things one at a time:

1) Actually, I acquired an editor for this story, but he only edits a chapter a week and has only reached chapter 3 of this book (although I note that neither chapters 2 or 3 have had their edited variants uploaded yet). I've edited it myself a half-dozen times, but one should never edit his own works. I call this proof.

2) I actually started posting this story on DeviantArt, back before I knew this site existed. In fact the only reason I'm here at all is because a fan on DA asked why I wasn't publishing it here...so yeah, I exist on FIMFiction purely because of No Heroes. Going back to the original posting on DA, I actually published the very first chapter on May 9...so yeah, I wrote all of No Heroes Book I in 14 days. I was both very eager and, being jobless back then, had a lot of time on my hands.

3) When I first wrote this story, I was trying to get published with some original fiction, and was trying to learn how to stick to word limits because my lengthy stories were getting shot down. That's the main reason I cropped some scenes, such as Fine's reuniting with his father. I've long considered going back and fixing that now that story length doesn't bother me anymore.

4) As to King Sombra, I wanted his return to be somewhat mystifying, because the real cause remains an unknown to the reader. It surprises me that you think he was regenerated from his horn, which wasn't at all what happened or even remotely a concept in my range of possibilities. I think I know a way to dispel this little myth in-story, but I'll get to that when my editor gets the the chapter.

In all honesty, I took Sombra being 'banished to the Northern Wastes' quite literally, and was expecting when I wrote this for everyone to recognize the same thing. Clearly I was remiss.

But still, a bit of ambiguity was intentional, and I didn't want Sombra to go into some lengthy explanation when it would be more appropriate for him to just go and kill Fine and be done with it. I mean really, explaining all the details in some villainous monologue? Not very realistic. I thought that this was a case where it was overall better for the (non-)heroes not to know.

5) Tazel Wyrm (whom you'll note I conceived long before the show's Tatzlwurm, which to my mild disgust has no relation whatsoever with the cryptid whose name it shares). She doesn't get explained much in Book II, though she gets her appropriate brief appearance along with another new baddie. Realizing that you may call me out on this, know that Tazel gets a lot more attention in Book III.

Is that it? Goes to check your comments. Yeap, that's it. So yeah, thanks for taking the time to point this stuff out! I only hope you go all the way to Book IV and provide plenty of information like this all the way through! Especially Book IV! Nobody ever comments on that one. :fluttercry:

3990386
I'll just do a quick follow-up to your follow-up...

1)If you need another hand with that, I can go through the story again and point out what I found was strange...

2) 14 days? a fortnight!?
Seriously, you must've motored through the story... I mean, I was unemployed for the past ~7 months or so... but then again I spent a lot of time playing games.... haha

3) That makes sense... But yeah, length shouldn't deter anyone from reading it... If they like the story, they shouldn't care... (As I say, the longer the better if it's entertaining to read)

4) Yeah, it's definitely a question-mark that I put on the event... There really wasn't anything explained about it, which was the point I assume... But yeah, I more thought he took control of Twilight rather than regenerate... But, yeah... no idea what happened... You're right, there's no other way to explain it since evil monologue wouldn't work when fighting an assassin...

5) I really would've said something about Tazel not showing up... But at least I know to expect that at least... haha...

But yeah, if everything keeps up as it has, I will go through up to book 4... And again, if it's up to this quality, I'll let you know everything that's on my mind...

Might take me a while, but yeah, I'll throw up a comment when I reach the end... (unless something major sticks into my mind...)

When does Tazyl Wyrm appear?

4482309
Most of her appearances are mere cameos – foreshadowing of the real villains – but you can find her in the following chapters:

First appearance is a brief cameo about 1/4 to 1/3 through this chapter.

Although not identified by name, the 'bird' mentioned in the first third of this chapter is Tazel.

Tazel's first villain appearance is early in this chapter.

And she appears again for a brief chat on two occasions in this chapter, first to mock Applejack and Nye, then in the epilogue.

But if you really want to see what happened to Tazel with her as a central character, you need to jump to Book III: here, here and (most especially) here.

This story is really well written and you develop your characters very well. It is a bit darker than what I might like, but since it is so well done it is still a very enjoyable read. I found Fine Crime's traumatic encounter with whatever that sea monster was pretty emotional, and somewhat frightening.

I did notice in this sentence, you said fund, but I'm pretty confident that is a typo for found.

He thanked Celestia he was still a tiny colt and managed to creep his way to another room just as the stallion fund the coat he was looking for.

4531648
Hmm... I don't think my editor and I have reached that chapter yet. Edits are going very slow, as in a chapter every two weeks slow. I'll see if I can find that one and fix it.

Nice to finally see someone looking at this story again. :twilightsmile:

we cannot argue that they are ineffective.

in·ef·fec·tive
ˈiniˈfektiv/
adjective
adjective: ineffective

not producing any significant or desired effect.
"the legal sanctions against oil spills are virtually ineffective"
synonyms: unsuccessful, unproductive, fruitless, unprofitable, abortive, futile, purposeless, useless, worthless, ineffectual, inefficient, inefficacious, inadequate

“On the single prettiest pony I have ever laid eyes on.”

On the single

On

...was that intentional or did you miss something there?

4539896
Three things.

1) The word 'ineffective' was used exactly how I intended it to be used. It wasn't a mistake.

2) That one... is a typo. Fixed.

3) Please only send corrections like this via PM. I don't like having my stupidity on display for the entire world to see long after any mistakes are fixed, especially in a story with so few comments that said mistakes will be obvious.

4539528
Fuck, I do not want to read this chapter again. But I can't remember exactly what happened. Just that it pissed me off. I just got out of bed, and I don't want to start the day being angry.
So, generally, I think it's probably the patronizing know-it-all attitude. The way the testers fuck with the protagonists, exploit their best qualities, and generally lie to them. And these bitches are supposed to be on your side, but you can't ever trust them, because clearly they think that fucking with other people's heads, health, property, and most of all patience is okay. But they still expect the hero(es)' trust afterwards.
And let's not forget the arrogant self-righteousness: They are never going to admit that their behavior was in fact wrong. They'll rationalize to the moon and back that they were in the right to encourage the protagonist to do one thing, and then punishing them for not doing another. Even worse, the fucking author expects the reader to agree.
I have had it up to both eyeballs with this trope, and it never gets better. It has ruined so many promising stories for me.
It's a fucking kick in the ass from the people you expected to have your back. It's betrayal, exposing complete lack of loyalty and a disregard for other people's thoughts and choices.
In conclusion: Fuck secret tests of character with goddamn crowbars and knives. Fuck them right in the fucking skull.

[edit] goddammit, now I'm angry. Whatever, peace out.

4541033
I was going to try defending this story against your statements... but after reading your issues a few times I realize there's no point. You seem pretty set in your view and – let's face it – when you get down to brass tacks there's nothing really wrong with any of your arguments, even if they are fueled by a narrow viewpoint.

As far as the trope getting better... well, it's not going to. Might as well give up with that idea, because it's impossible to run the 'secret test of character' thing without defying all your hard-set principles.

The only thing that mildly bugs me is that you condemn the story before really learning anything about it. You might have actually enjoyed the plot if you'd just set your anger aside and delved a little deeper.

4541099
>As far as the trope getting better
Never expected it to. It's just that I can't completely write off the possibility.
>condemn the story before really learning anything about it
Dude, I have a list the length of both of my arms, of fanfics, non-fanfic litterature, film, anime, games, etc. that I want to get through. In terms of investment and return, it's just not worth it to give things a chance if I have a pretty good idea it's going to rub me the wrong way (learned that lesson the hard fucking way with MU Academy ("at some point she's gotta murder a bitch, right? Right?")). That's just the environment that any artist has to compete in these days, especially on the internet.
> narrow viewpoint
Is this utilitarianism? Because I read Bentham, I get those arguments and agree with them right until we get down to the intrinsically nihilistic nature of reality. But omniscient morality license just doesn't work unless the character is an actual precog. Or are you saying something else, here? (no pretentiousness intended).

4541187
From that perspective, I guess I can understand why you'd give up only one chapter in. Considering my own case (having dozens upon dozens of story ideas and only so much time to write them), I'll buy that. We all need to be a little choosey at times. I just wish people would delve a little deeper before raising their hands in defeat.

I'll admit you blew over my head and I had to look up a few things. :twilightblush: Considering the many different potential meanings you could have for "the intrinsically nihilistic nature of reality," I'm honestly not sure how to address the phrase.

That being said, I was actually reacting to your claim of the characters' (and the author's, by extension?) refusal to acknowledge their actions as wrong through a slew of 'rationalizations.' This gives me the idea that you're failing to acknowledge that other people have a very different view of morality and ethics in comparison to your particular codex. This is what I considered 'narrow,' and I would even go so far as to call it 'self-righteous,' because it sounds as though you consider your viewpoint the one and only correct analysis.

...

This is giving me some interesting ideas on a 'conversation' that could be had between my headcanon Celestia and Luna. I think I'll store that for potential future use.

4541269
>failing to acknowledge that other people have a very different view of morality and ethics
That's what I meant when I asked if what you were getting at was utilitarianism.
Regardless, I don't consider betrayal morally wrong (I'm a moral nihilist, if you didn't catch that), I find it severely distasteful on a personal level. I emphasize with the protagonists, and am pissed off (not morally outraged) when they are fucked by people who were supposed to be their friends and allies.

>you consider your viewpoint the one and only correct analysis
Of course I think the way I see things is the right one, otherwise I wouldn't think that way. That doesn't mean I rule out the possibility of being wrong, but I don't have to presume that I am.
If someone thinks that it's okay to murder whomever they don't like, are you simply going to respect that, or are you going to think that they still shouldn't murder innocent people?
Fuddy-duddy liberal ideas of "respecting other people's beliefs and opinions" is too often a way of stopping people from learning critical thinking, instead encouraging double-thinking where A can apparently be true for one person and not for another. But the cake can't be eaten and look pretty on the table at the same time.
"Gravity is not a version of the truth - it is the truth. Anybody who doubts it, is invited to jump out of a ten floor window."
- Dawkins

>This is giving me some interesting ideas
Glad something good can come of arguments on the internet.

4541500
And here we see the same kind of 'self-righteousness' you so eagerly railed against. The actions of the Archons aren't so clear cut as someone 'murdering anyone they don't like.' Nobody's going to say that's okay (well, almost nobody), because there is a common moral and ethical bounds that has come to be socially agreed upon. But when distinct planning is made with a clear goal (that others aren't aware of) that is believed by the individual to be morally 'good,' right or wrong gets to be a little foggy.

Those 'liberal' ideals are always misinterpreted by the masses (hence the majority of the issues the world currently faces), but that doesn't make them 100% wrong. Critical thinking does not automatically exclude all other choices - in fact those choices can help to encourage critical thinking as we examine them (or, alternatively, battle them, something the modern liberal leader has taken to with gusto). Liberal views lead to a poor and defenseless welfare state, but die-hard conservative views lead to Isis.

I'm getting off track. Waaaaay off track.

The point I was originally trying to make before I let myself get sidetracked a comment or two ago: just because you disagree with something in the story is no reason to discount the story itself. Being able to examine how a character thinks and acts – knowing what that character's worldview is – should be used to enhance a story, not detract. I try to examine plot from the character's perspective instead of my own. If I disagree with that character's perspective... well, that just makes things more interesting.

But even I will acknowledge that there are limits to what I'm willing to take.

4541606
>And here we see the same kind of 'self-righteousness'
Where?
>right or wrong gets to be a little foggy.
I told you, my reaction isn't about morality.

>Those 'liberal' ideals are always misinterpreted by the masses (hence the majority of the issues the world currently faces)
I'd say it's overpopulation myself, but...
>I'm getting off track.
Know that feel.

> but that doesn't make them 100% wrong.
I did say "too often".
>can help to encourage critical thinking as we examine them
Did say "doesn't mean I rule out the possibility of being wrong". But yes, I know. Therefore, we're arguing on the internet instead of just getting on with our day.

>just because you disagree with something in the story is no reason to discount the story itself.
True, your story could be an exception to the rule of my experience. It's just that's there's a million stories out there just as worthy of our attentions, and those on my list don't have warning signs that I won't like them.

4541680
I think we're at a point of 'general' agreement. Although I do have one extra thing:

>And here we see the same kind of 'self-righteousness'
Where?

>right or wrong gets to be a little foggy.
I told you, my reaction isn't about morality.

And let's not forget the arrogant self-righteousness: They are never going to admit that their behavior was in fact wrong. They'll rationalize to the moon and back that they were in the right to encourage the protagonist to do one thing, and then punishing them for not doing another.

Self-righteousness in claiming that they must be wrong, and an overt statement regarding right and wrong that links your initial reaction directly to morality.

And now, because it amuses me, I'm going to stoke my ego and claim that my stories are far more worthy of attention than anything the inexperienced, crowd-pleasing rabble can come up with. :trollestia: Although, in all fairness, I wouldn't place that lofty claim upon No Heroes... It was my first fanfiction, after all, and my talents have vastly improved since then.

Don't worry, I'll stop annoying you. I have a meeting to attend in a few minutes and then a 3-hour drive to take.

4541756
>Self-righteousness in claiming that they must be wrong, and an overt statement regarding right and wrong that links your initial reaction directly to morality.
I was speaking generally of the stories I'd read with secret tests of character. And they tended to be wrong in my estimation. No idea about yours.
And yeah, the semantics get muddled when I get nihilism involved. Sorry about that. Generally I regard morality in two levels: Objective and Practical (Objective morality is non-existant, Practical morality is social contract). In Practical morality the Secret Tester of Character may be in the right (their actions might in fact make for a more pleasant outcome for most of the people involved than if they didn't make the test). But in most stories it's just really stupid. And so it has come to piss me off as my first reaction.
I can argue why typically they're wrong. Shall we?

>I have a meeting to attend in a few minutes and then a 3-hour drive to take.
No rush. Come back in five minutes or five years. Or not, whatever.

4541846
I am an idiot. :facehoof: I should have waited until after I got to my parents' place before checking my messages, and now the notification's gone. I'll forget to continue this by the time I get there... so I'll just do it now and hope the traffic doesn't kill me (10 minutes makes a BIG difference in this town).

The only thing I have to add is that the 'test of character' in No Heroes actually does lead to a better outcome for all involved - test-ees and testers alike - but that's largely not clear until, say, Book III or even Book IV. But meh, there's no way I'm gonna press you into reading that much material. I know I wouldn't be eager to try it if the roles were reversed.

I think your original statement already clarified everything you think is wrong with the 'test of character' bit, anyway. Like I said, none of your arguments were poor. They actually make a lot of sense under the right circumstances. I think my desire to speak out was largely because I didn't think the arguments fit the situation in No Heroes... not that you had any way of knowing that.

Chrysalis, "MIRACLES DO NOT EXIST!"
Twilight Sparkle, "Which is why you're going to ultimately LOSE to one."

What would Tazel Wyrm's response to this be?

4643885
What's with you and these odd questions? :trixieshiftright:

She'd probably kill Twilight (slowly) before hoof-bumping (or whatever her equivalent is) Chrysalis. Those two would make a scary alliance.

This story... I'm awestruck by its magnificence! It's an incredible story idea put into a bundle of professional-grade writing, every sentence is attractive to me, and it is definitely making me feel like I have more than enjoyed this story. You are amazing! :heart:

4702059
Every now and then I discover that someone is still reading this story, and it makes me... :pinkiehappy: I'm glad you're enjoying it! I hope the sequels keep your interest.

Great fic, gonna start part two later.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

4716319
I look forward to your opinions. :twilightsmile:

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