• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 minutes ago

PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords, and reviews both independently and for Seattle's Angels. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

Sequels2

T
Source

This story is a sequel to No Heroes Part I - The Roster


Our six not-so-heroic figures have been selected, but they aren't a team just yet. The first thing they need is a headquarters, and there can be no place better than Ponyville. But not all are so willing to make such a move; Upper Crust is determined to stay in Canterlot, Fine Crime fears his demons may terrorize the local ponies, and Lightning Dust is nowhere to be found. Will Luna's plans come together, or will this team disintegrate before it even gets formed?

Kudos to Eosphorite for the awesome commissioned cover!



The No Heroes Series
Chronological from Top to Bottom:
Shadow Pony
Reddux the Tyrant
No Heroes Part I - The Roster
No Heroes Part II - The Journey Home
Lightning's Bolt
No Heroes Part III - For Dreams
No Heroes Part IV - The Crystal Empress
No Heroes: Beyond the Everfree
No Heroes: Life of Pie

The Fleur-Verse
Chronologically from Top to Bottom:
Shadow Pony
Reddux the Tyrant
No Heroes Part I - The Roster
No Heroes Part II - The Journey Home
Lightning's Bolt
The Weed
The Challenge of Fleur
Ordinary World
A Challenge for Fleur
Sweet to Eat: Tales of Nightmare Night

Chapters (10)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 149 )

i hope the next chapter has ultraviolence in it. <3 :rainbowkiss:

Oh this is good, this is really good keep the chapters coming I'll be eagerly waiting:moustache:

2649982 Wow, thanks. Thanks a ton!

2650125 No problem you are keeping the story entertaining, it's a bit slow but it's complex and interesting. I also like the mystery and the challenges you are throwing at each of the characters they're interesting and force the characters to make a decision and learn from their actions. Again keep it up

Good story, great even. But I dislike when a story is marked complete even if it were intended to continue in the sequel. I know the first story was the first part, but I prefer when all parts are together in the same story since the adventure didn't end in the first part.

It's kinda like when I watch the LoTR movies, I want to watch them back to back or at least close to. However this is sometimes very annoying since the same goes for TV series and those take forever to watch...

Anyway I'm not really complaining about the story, I'm just complaining about you making me wait for the rest of it.

2659568 Hehe, yes I can see how that would be frustrating. :twilightsheepish: But in all my years of writing I've come to learn two things:
A) I'm an incredibly long-winded writer.
B) Potential readers tend to be scared off when a story is longer than oh, say, 80,000 words.
So I'm just trying to play my cards right.

Glad you like the story so far, though! Look on the bright side: I'm a fast updater. Next episode will be up sometime in the next hour or two, actually. :yay:

First off: Don't worry too much about putting yourself in a bind the way you claim you have, it's really only when someone panics over things such as that, that they make silly mistakes. Plus i'm sure you can think of ways to delay Dust if you need to stretch time - for example she seems like the kind who would recklessly fly without resting, thinking it would get her there faster, and end up wing cramping/crashing/whatever at least once which could be used to slow her down time-wise.

Now as to the chapter itself... I really do like your Upper Crust. I like how conflicted she is between who she used to be - who she clearly still thinks she is supposed to be - and who she evidently has started to believe she wants to be. I like how this has seeped out to affect things around her and how others relate to her... and while sad I do like how it's hit her marriage. While I think Jet Set was too quick off the mark on blaming her for infidelity I can sort of see how he arrived at such a conclusion - to him his wife has been acting so very off and everything he's done that in the past would have made everything better... hasn't. Then he sees her with Jimmy and everything comes together in his head - he got the wrong answer but it's an answer that fits all the evidence as he knows it.

So I wonder what implications, on his side of things, there are to: "she finally told him – in very unkind words – exactly what had been bothering her."

I do kind of hope they sort this out somehow because I do feel really sorry for Upper Crust here, yet I cannot say that Jet Set is really acting so wrongly either: It's all a situation brought about by neither really talking to the other properly when they needed to when they clearly both do... or did... love one another.

If possible it would maybe be nice to see how Jet is doing over this, though I'm not sure how you could best do that. Just please don't end up writing him off via divorce or suchlike, because that would be a waste of both Upper's relationship issues and the character writing skills you clearly possess.

Hm. That got a little ramble-y.

...
What? I'm supposed to pepper these 'comment' things with smilies?
...
Oh, fine then.
:coolphoto:

2659745 Yeah it is probably a good choice to do it like this. Even if I prefer epic stories above short ones. Although I can't accuse your first part to be short.

Anyway gonna read the new chapter now.

2660652 These are the kind of comments I love. By all means keep them coming!

And now I shall attempt to address some of your topics.

Panic, me? I'm a "slow and steady wins the race" kinda guy. I saw my mistake as soon as I made it and have been carefully considering my options ever since. So no worries; I've more or less got it sorted out. Besides, I live for developing solutions to these kinds of things.

I'm glad you're enjoying Upper Crust's development; making her a more likeable character with what little was given in the show (of which all was negative) is one of my many challenges in this story. Regarding seeing things from Jet Set's view, though... I'm not sure if I'll be doing that at all. The fact is I want to restrict the perspectives to my six main characters as much as possible. I have conceived of a plausible scenario where one of my characters meets him and discusses the topic with him directly, but I'm not sure if I'll be implementing it. My story's already planned to be very long and the more things I add the longer it gets. That said, I'm seriously considering writing a one-off side story from his perspective, just to show that side of these events.

Addressing Jet Set's and Upper Crust's marriage? I have a single golden rule when it comes to all my conceived fanfictions: relationships that are canon to the original material are untouchable. I will never destroy an existing relationship. I might screw with it a bit, but never completely ruin it (no matter how much I might want to). What this means is that I will be resolving the whole marriage issue eventually. There will be no divorce. Brief separation? Yes. But no divorce. But Upper Crust's relationship to Jet Set is obviously a major issue, and one that won't be resolved until well after Part II is completed.

Thanks for the input! I'll be looking forward to more discussions of this sort.

needs moar lightning dust

also lol i'll leave a huge comment sometime

too lazy right now :3 but i'll get to it because i like this story

i r smarter than i type

2664894 One moar Episode without, then your Lightning Dust fix will be... fixed. :derpytongue2:

2718799 He might be awesome, but he doesn't stand a chance against... come to think of it, I don't wanna spoil anything. :scootangel:

I'm starting to think this while series is going under appreciated...

You keep using hand and people.
Shtawp it. Shtawp it nao.
XD

3587255
It's amusing that you say that, 'cause I was trying to be diligent about not saying hand and people. I think I've gotten a lot better at that in my more recent stories, though.

Something tells me that, when I have time, I'll need to go through this one with a fine-toothed comb.

And thanks for the compliments! :twilightsmile: Both for this story and the last one. I was really starting to think nobody was reading it anymore. :fluttercry:

Philanthropist
Philequinist?
Philequinopist?

3589146
I like philequinist, myself. Never even thought about changing that word, though... :rainbowhuh:

2 down, I forgot how many left..
That slendermane part scared the crap out out me.
I kept glancing behind me the whole time,
because right behind me is a wall.
Only 12 thumbs up.. Shame.

Edit: Just thought of something, did u ever try and submit this to eqd?
Has this ever been featured on the front page?

3590385
I tried EQD once with my other - far more popular - Trixie vs. Equestria story, and it got slammed after just two chapters for what they considered 'gross ignorance of grammar rules'. Basically, they shut me down for things about 1% of the reading population cares about. :fluttershbad:

If TvE can't make it - and it's generally considered awesome - there's no way No Heroes is getting featured. My real-life profession i as a technical writer. I have to have good grammar. I didn't know 4/5 of the rules they were shooting at me. I need someone who is a grammar freak to go over the stories with a fine-toothed comb. TvE takes precedence right now, though. I really want to see it featured.

Oh, and that's two more to go, btw. Boy, you're reading through 'em fast!

EDIT: I just went and re-read the last chapter, just for curiosity's sake, and saw so many small errors I cringed. This story definitely needs a third editing sweep.

3591603
Well, at least you tried.
You'll get it one day.
Third... Lol

Well...that escalated quickly

3805151
Ah, I see you're looking to see how Lightning and Keen met. :twilightsmile:

Warning: The following message has been word-counted at over 1000....
You have been warned...

Alrighty.... Part 2...
Part 2...

hmmmm...
Honestly, I don't quite see why it required the Mature rating... Sure, there were some gory bits, but... Seriously... It wasn't that bad...
The only other part of the story that might warrant such rating was Fine and Twilight going at it... But otherwise, that's all I really have to say about the rating...

Moving on to the story..
Now, as you said in the reply to my first comment said cat-thingy didn't re-appear... But at least I can't complain since you forewarned me...

The only major complaint that I have is that 98% of the story was focused on Nye, when the only one to get major story progression was Lightning... Sure, there was an adventure with Nye, Rainbow and Scoots into the forest finding Fine's home (Assumed it was that anyway) And that Nye had finally thrown off his inner demons by finding a job he actually enjoyed doing...

Sticking with Nye for the moment, I really don't have much sympathy for the guy... I mean, there was the instance with his father from series 1... But other than that, the only problem he really has in this story was finding a new job... Alright, sure... He wanted to find something he liked doing as opposed to some dead-end job selling train tickets, I can accept that... But because he just randomly had days off work trying to figure out what he actually wanted to do with his life just turned him from likeable underdog to self-entitled sloth in my opinion... And then within a timeframe that I assume is a few days -a week tops- he's set up the plans for his own business selling drinks... What was stopping him from looking/trying new things in-between work days?
I understand that he felt miserable but that's no reason to just throw away what little life you have!

Moving away from Nye, since he just annoys me now... (And his "Hearts and Hooves" day 'mission', yeah... that just solidified him in the "Self-entitled ass" section...) Seriously, he asks every single mare in Ponyville (Quite obviously multiple times over the years) before realising "Oh, wait a minute, I've had one all along" yeah... Not even going to touch that...

sorry, got away with myself... Moving off Nye:

Jimmy! Well, well... What have we got here...
I can't remember if he started his shop in this story or the previous one... But him still being terrified of his Father gives him a sense of normalcy. Otherwise nothing much happened with him this chapter... So that's why the only thing I could mention was him being scared of his father...
Moving on...

Octavia was much in the same this series... She didn't change, she didn't grow... She's just the same... Always friendly, always helpful... But; yeah... She didn't do much besides give me a great reason to move on to the next pony:

Whatshername!
Seriously, I can't believe I've forgotten it... But I feel that although she had quite limited screen-time; her growth was best explained, staged, and executed... Her slow spiral into depression from a feeling of uselessness all stemming from that one meeting with Fine in chapter 1 of act 1... Questions her worthiness to call herself an "Important" pony because all she thinks she can do is guess... Her and Octavia I believe have the best chemistry together... Her uncertainty paired with Octavia's "never say die" attitude gives the two of them a much better connection since she always needs the reassurance that it's the right thing to do; while Octavia needs... well, doesn't NEED, but WANTS her to keep going because that's just how Octy is... The chance meeting with Jimmy in the bar to reaffirm that he too feels the desperate struggle against life compared to the belief of power given to them by Fine... The breakdown in communication with her husband (although tragic) was exactly what she needed in terms of that final push to do something about her life, rather than just waste away and become nothing. I only wish I could remember her name... Wow that's horrible...

Lightning Dust!
Had the least screentime... Had most powerful message... But was horribly cliched, which is why she's only second on best-in-story list... (by my count anyway) Changeling invasion trialled in a small town, closest member of family gets taken away (Oh yeah, this section was close to warranting the Mature rating too... forgot about that) Lightning trying everything she could with no success (Despite her best efforts which makes her struggle all the better [along with character development anyway]) And the eventual semi-adoption of a Fluttershy-esque foal... I kinda hope those two get some time together (Shy and young-shy)... And I REALLY hope that Lightning and young-shy (yeah, forgot her name too) get some bonding time, because (to me) that'd make Lightning a stronger character, actually having something to work towards (Read: Any Ditzy Doo story with her, Dinky and Sparkler) and great "D'AWWWWWWW" moments to squee at...
But yeah, Lightning's chapter(s) in a nutshell: Short, powerful and brilliant.... If only a little cliche... But hey, nothing is perfect...

I'm not really going to touch Fine... He has enough problems... Although him and Shy spending so much time together? Not sure if I approve... There will be ponies going after him, and when they learn of Shy, it'll make her life hell... Although if Discord hangs around, that could be fine... Not sure, haven't thought about it much... And this is already WAYYYYY too long as it is...

But hey, you asked for it... HA

Spelling/Grammar/Structure was all good... Mis-communication at times, wonky bits here and there that needed a few reads to get exact meaning... But they were too few and far between to be overly noticable and much too painful to weed-out one at a time in a blanket review like this... Overall great; but another set of eyes editing will do wonders...

And with all that said, I shall move on to Act 3... I wonder what you'll do with the characters in there, now that they're living in the same town anyway...

I only wish I could remember Number one's (and the new foal for that matter) names...
ugh, this'll annoy me to no end...

Well, let me touch upon things in the same order you did.

To begin, I knew Nye was getting a lot of attention in this story. I found him the easiest to write for and found myself falling into a sort of 'Nye trap' where I kept unintentionally going back to him. I'm rather surprised that you don't like him; most people find him highly relate-able.

I don't really understand how you can label him as 'self-entitled'. He never demanded that anyone take care of him, he was just in an emotional slump. Entitlement suggests he was expecting to get by in life without doing anything because everyone else would pay for his existence, and he never so much as thought in such terms. He hated his job, but he'd blown so many over the year he was on his own that he felt like he didn't have a chance getting another one. I understand this emotional rut, for I fell into it once several years back (believe me, it's terrible). And asking every mare in Ponyville out repeatedly? That's not entitlement, that's desperation. It's not like he was out there claiming to be God's gift to mares (save for as a joke).

Nye's not self-entitled. Pathetic? Sure. Lazy? No doubt. But self-entitled? I can't figure out how you get that idea. Maybe we just have completely different ideas of the definition of entitlement. Also, I think you exaggerate his presence; this book was 60% about him (which is still way too much).

But I have some good news: due to the intense focus on Nye this book, he gets very very little attention in Book III.

Poor Jimmy. He really got swept under the rug for most of this story. His role is only slightly more important in Book III. He deserves more attention, and I'm hoping to expand upon him in a future side story, because compared to Nye Jim has a lot of potential.

The same can be said with Octavia. I wanted her to be awesome from the get-go...but in so doing, I left little room for character development. Obviously that was a big mistake, as she ends up being the character with the least growth in the overarching story. I tried to give her a little more attention in Book III, but it wasn't enough to make up for my failures in Book II. Like most others, I have a side-story in mind to focus on her and give her some real character.

Upper Crust is my single favorite character in this story, as nobody grows more. You'll be amazed at the complete change she's undergone by Book IV, it's astounding. She's also the slowest to develop. Curiously, while you're praising this most people practically ignored her because of it. You'll see her growing even more in Book III, and having a touch more attention as well.

Interestingly, most people thought her breakdown with Jet Set was too fast, despite the fact that it was years in the making. They always fail to note that her chapter in Book I took place early in Season I, whereas Book II is beyond Season III, so a lot of time has passed since that first encounter with Fine.

Lightning is my second favorite character, and she actually got more screen time than Upper Crust, Octavia and Jimmy. So she didn't get the least attention, she just got it all at once, which made it feel fast. I realized early on that she needed something independent of the others, though, due to her 'go it alone' nature keeping her well out of Ponyville for some time, which in turn necessitated her not appearing in any of the other chapters. I couldn't put her in early – such a powerful statement for her needed to be the climax of the story – but it left her part as something of a standalone.

Because she had such a powerful moment in Book II, she's one of the characters set aside in Book III so that those with less attention could grab some. She still appears every here and there with Keen, but there aren't any moments of serious character-building. I do love writing her scenes with Keen, though, who is nothing short of adorable. One of my big regrets was that, because I had so many characters to divide the readers' attention to, I didn't find time to really go into their relationship (though there's a distinct d'aww moment in Book IV).

To remedy this, I'm currently writing Lightning's Bolt, a slice-of-life side story 100% focused on their time together that starts right after the events of Book II. It's a bit of a bumpy ride for both of them, but I am quite enjoying it. Slow updates, though, as I actually have a pre-reader for it.

...

That kid is adorable. :rainbowkiss:

I won't touch the Fine and Fluttershy situation – I don't want to spoil you or anything – but yeah, Fine does have his problems. Aplenty. Big things happen for him in Book III.

Book III is much less episodic; the players are together, and it's time they start sharing presence rather than going it alone all the time. Less attention is given to Lightning and Nye, due to the great attention Nye received and the huge event for Lightning in Book II. Focus is instead set upon Octavia and Upper Crust. I meant to give some attention to Jimmy as well, but I'm disappointed to say that things didn't quite work out as planned.

Luna also gets some presence, as a key goal of Book III was to cement her relationship with her own team. We also finally get to learn more about Tazel Wyrm, you'll be glad to know.

Regarding the Mature rating...I was playing it safe. Most people I know in real life would be squeamish around the gore of Fine's chapter and such serious subjects as Lightning's chapters (I grew up among wimps in this regard). I feared that if I didn't call it mature I'd get blasted.

And you think this wall of text threatens me? Ha. Ha, I say! One does not write a 430k story (my current record) by being shy of word counts! Bring it.

4023023
Once again, the follow-up to your follow up...
(Although I will say, I didn't know you had replied to me since you didn't press the reply button... but anyway...)

You're right... Self-entitled was the wrong way to phrase it...
Would probably get better if it was self-ABSORBED since he didn't care about anything other than himself without looking at the big picture...

I understand what it is like to go from one failure to another, but... Really... He goes from "bleh bleh bleh I'm going no-where in my life" to "WOOO! DOING SOMETHING I LOVE!" in (what is essentially) a five minute passage (reading time)....

Really? he only had 60%?
I mean, sure, it's still a majority compared to the other 5 ponies he's sharing the screen with... But, yeah... Give one 60%, then the others share 40... hence why I felt he dominated this section...

UPPER CRUST! How could I forget that... I feel bad now... But, yeah, not much else to say about her..... Yet....
Except that I did notice the time that her relationship broke down... Hence why I noticed her change with more interest... On paper it took one chapter... But in life it was years...

Really? Lightning gets little screen time in 3?
Uber sadface...
Like... Stupidly insane levels of sadface...

I was really looking forward to seeing her change into a forced parental role... She could no longer be the brash underachiever with low self-esteem but had to transform into a caring mother figure to a cute little girl... Now I can't help but feel that No. 3 will be really disappointing...

!
Side-story?
Takes place after book 2?
Focusing on Lightning's Change as I outlined above?!

WOOOOOOOOOO AWES-
wait... it's not finished?
BOOOOOOOOOO!

Now I REALLY want to wait for that to be finished so I can read them all in chronological order...
*checks update status*
You simply MUST tell me how far through that you are, to know whether or not I can read it and not hit end of the updates before the actual story is finished....

Moving back to the reply:
hmmm, It's not that I don't find Fine Crime an interesting character... I don't know, I guess he's just... eh... Can't really put this into words... He's not my favourite, and I can't really tell you why he's not... So, if book 3 can't get me to like him, then I guess I won't... But so far, he's mainly just there to drive the plot... Appear, deliver exposition, then leave just as quickly... (As in, that's what he HAS been doing) I mean, sure... He has to brutally murder somepony once a month but... yeah...
Although if he doesn't have a confrontation with Twilight in book 3, I will be VERY disappointed in you! (And don't spoil if there is/isn't... because spoilers)

I'm all for giving Crust some more time, and Octavia, although the most perfect of the group, hasn't seen much beyond the "You can do this" character... Hopefully she can evolve... But I'm not holding my breath... It's Octavia, if you do anything with her, the fans will hunt you down...

Luna getting a show? Ehhh, even though she is best Princess (pre season 3 finale) I don't see where you can really go with her... Sure, she's the head of what is effectively the anti-terror squads... But, since it's her personal team of agents, I guess she needs to spend some time with them...

I didn't mean for you to feel threatened.... Just prepared...
Since this is probably the most in-depth with a story I've ever gone...

In closing: You seriously need to tell me how long until finished Lightning's Bolt is....

4033098

What, I missed the reply button? :rainbowderp: Le oops.

Well like I said, Nye doesn't get a lot of time in Book III, so you won't have to watch him being all self-absorbed and such.

Book II really didn't have a lot of Fine Crime growth, I'll admit. He was more just 'there' much of the time, save for his personal chapter. He gets much more presence in Book III, though he's not the primary focus. Dunno if his part will endear him to you any more than he already hasn't been, though. I guess we'll just have to see.

I tried to expand Octavia a bit, but didn't really achieve it. She does get one opportunity to be fairly awesome, though, if it's any consolation.

Regarding Lightning's Bolt, I'm sorry to say I don't know how much farther I have to go with it in terms of chapter count. I'm dividing my time between it and another major story (Twilight's Inferno, which I haven't published as I'm waiting for the cover art commission), and because the other story is for a contest I'm writing more on it than Lightning's Bolt. So yeah, there's no way I'd be done if you started reading it now. I've got at least two more major scenes I need to get to, and dunno how long it will take to get to them... Sorry.

I await your review of Book III with anticipation. It really doesn't have many comments compared to the first two...

Good sir, I love you, so much. You are my hero for making this series. :scootangel:

4593060
Why thank you! I've never been a hero before. :twilightsmile:

i say, the mayor mare/stikin scene really fits in, he is definetly a stallion to do that :rainbowkiss:

4595553
Hey, someone finally commented on that scene! It's actually one of my favorites, because we get to see Mayor Mare acting all bad-ass and putting Stickin in his place. I really need to write more material featuring her, because I love the confident, capable variant of her I've devised for this scene.

asking your opinion on my own mental health, but is it sad i laughed through this chapter? not as much as the one with red writing, but still alot :scootangel:

i remember the cmc mentioning it, but just barely, took me a literal second or two to remember where you brought it up at. this chapter was so horrifying, LOVE IT!!!

4597644
Depends on what you laughed at. Fine Crime's lines, for example. If you laughed at Lightning's misery? Then yeah, I'd be wondering.

Glad to know my attempts in the horror genre are effective. :twilightsmile:

i ment to mention this earlier, but you keep saying jimmy when it is supposed to be nye :ajbemused:

4597723 not her misery, just the scenes of the dead, killing and such... and awesome story, litterally second best story i have ever read, i forget im reading, and that has only happened once before this story, not just the book, but the whole.

4597834
I scoured these stories dozens of times trying to get rid of those instances. they should be pretty rare by now... :ajbemused:

4597843
I'm glad you're enjoying it! You've got a weird sense of humor, though.

I tend to lose people with Book III. If you feel that happening, do let me know why. I think I have a good idea of what the deal is, but more input is always valuable.

4597852 i think i caught 3 times in the last story, or my memory still hates me, and i will let you know why the 3rd book slips me if it does,and i still dont really get this, but mustaches for you!!! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

I am once again impressed by your terrific writing, it's splendidly dark, begging to be read more! This deserves to be its own book, I'm just overwhelmingly impressed at the skill that these words are built in, just... wow.:heart:

4726618
Why thank you! But the dark thing... yeah, that doesn't last. Book II was the 'dark' book of the group, really. I find that I tend to lose a lot of people in Book III because it loses that particular bite. So yeah, kudos if you get all the way through it. :unsuresweetie:

- That song was beautiful.
- The Lion King is awesome.
- Nye Stone will never learn (can't wait for Hearts and Hooves day, oh boy).
- I'll have to keep an eye out for the fic reference. How obvious will it be?

4962249

I'll have to keep an eye out for the fic reference. How obvious will it be?

If you know the fic, then it should be blatantly obvious. Otherwise? Not obvious at all.

Ampathy is probably right about the no hand thing, but I've always been fond of using the word people instead of ponies. Using pony to describe everything just begins to sound silly if you ask me.

Other than that, this chapter was awesome. I look forward to the promised ships as well, because I'll be honest and say I'm a hopeless romantic at heart.

4962384
Yeah, working on the 'no hands' thing. The edits are moving very slowly. My fault, really.

A really enjoyable chapter, but I feel the pace is going by a bit too quick with all the time skips, and the resolutions appear to be coming to our characters rather rapidly. They encounter a problem, and boom, solve it the next scene, and then a time skip happens and everything is all happy fun cheery again, ala the coffee shop. It would have been cool to see more work put into both of their businesses (the construction and planning) but that's not the focus and I suppose you're pressed for space in the story.

Ah well, onto more horse words.

Ah, this is the fanfiction reference. Can't say I'm surprised, never read it myself though. Horror isn't too high on my "things to read casually" list. Dark is fine, dark is lovely actually, but when the main point becomes spooky spooky scary boo! I kinda nope right on out.

Loved this chapter though. Totally digging the thing between Rainbow and Nye. They're good for each other. Hope it works out in the end.

Oh, and Fleur is an Archon? That's awesome. I enjoy her character, glad to see she gets a mention here.

*thinks a bit*

By the way, was that actually Fine Crime trying to tame the ocean back in that last chapter, or something equally sinister beneath the waves? Silma (or whoever the voice was) mentions the Mane Archon. If it was Fine, I have to question how deep his loyalty to the princesses are, and what part he plays with Kit and the disembodied voice that everyone's hearing. Definitely something to ponder as things develop. A new piece is in play.

4962654
Fleur is rapidly becoming one of my favorite characters to write for. In fact I've been working on an entire "Fleur AU" that shares history with No Heroes up to a point and already has some five or so short stories.

I think I'll stay mum on the Mane Archon thing. You're the first person to take it in such a way (that I'm aware of) and I'd hate to spoil things in the long run.

Wow, this is kinda tragic. I'm watching someone's world crumble around them. It's not fun, but when everything is said and done, and the dust settles, there can be time for rebuilding. Perhaps this is when Upper Crust can begin her own much needed repairs. Ponyville will do her good, if she can get over her inevitably sour first impression. Good luck to her. She's really starting to grow on me.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!