To escape from Tartarus is nearly impossible, even for one of great magical power. When you've lost your powers and are little more than a withered old centaur, it's even harder. But Tirek has a plan, one that will draw in a creature from a world where life is cheap, hats are plentiful, and gravel is king. Will the Spy take the opportunity to enjoy a well-earned vacation in this new world, or will he see the population of friendly, innocent ponies as just a fresh selection of backs to stab? It could be both!

(Takes place before the beginning of Season 9.)

Discord's the only creature in Equestria who can recognize the human for what he is -- not the long-lost Seventh Element that never actually existed and couldn't have existed before the human arrived, but a meta-reality warper, an entity far more powerful than Discord with the power to warp the minds of all around him and the very rules of magic to make sure that he's always the Big Hero. And the role the human's assigned to Discord is the Villain to beat down or kill.

Pre-reform Discord's fine with being the villain. But on his own terms. Not dancing on some alien interloper's puppet strings.

Without friendship, or even allies, Discord's going to have to find a way to defeat a creature who can alter fate itself and who can even mind-control him. Or he may just end up worse than dead.

Art by Tenchi-Outsuno. Progress Bar at my writing journal.

Trigger warnings: Mind control (magically induced love, magically induced friendship, magically induced stupidity, Discord being Discord), noncon/dubcon (magically induced love, other forms of highly dubious consent), rape (female on male), violence/gore (mostly against Discord), literally everything in chapters 19-21, humans not being presented as unilaterally wonderful and superior to ponies and/or draconequui.

Idol Hooves holds a special place in Equestria. He's probably the only exiled changeling to serve in the Royal Guard, or at least, that's what he expects, as exiles don't really broadcast that fact. However, it's well known that Princess Celestia loves all of her little ponies, and her guards perhaps more so, and that makes it one of the best ways for a changeling to discreetly feed.

But how does a changeling even get there, let alone get exiled in the first place? For that matter, why would it ever go to Canterlot? Set a number of years before the series proper, before Luna’s redemption, Idol details how he was exiled, the ponies he’s met, and the series of misadventures that led him to joining the Royal Guard, and should continue a good ways into the series, as something of an alternate perspective.

Soon, he’ll have to deal with a boisterous new princess to serve and a royal wedding in the works bringing a third to power. Will his old instincts bring this new life crashing down around him? What precipitates Chrysalis’s ill-fated assault on Canterlot? Is it really so wrong for a changeling to enjoy good craftsmanship to an obsessive degree?

New cover art provided by the fantastic Carnifex

And a TVTropes page here.

And an Ask Blog of questionable canonity!
Out of Idol Curiosity

Fanart by Norad2! Major thanks! Short For a Royal Guard

Art by Egophiliac of Idol and his Daring Duckie Please don't tell him what that brush is meant for.

Rating updated to (T), it's a bit darker than (E)
Comedy Tag added as well
And changed the character tags a bit.

This story is a sequel to Prey and a Lamb

'Little lamb, Little lamb, where have you been?~ I've sown the fields and reaped the corn~'

Ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks. This story(s) mainly draws from the characters after the end of 'Prey and a Lamb'. These individual story-chapters are both about what came afterwards, and their owners involvement in the wider events of Equestria.

You don't necessarily have to have read the marathon long previous story, (its really long, I know) as the characters can stand alone to an extent, but it might help. Or not? You can do as you please.

Now, as a word of how I plan to do this, first off: There is no release schedule! Sorry, no bi-weekly update grindstone writing. However, each chapter will be a small self contained story in itself. I will maybe use certain characters more than once, and interweave these min-stories Time Lines, but this will at least mean there are no cliff-hangers at the end of each chapter.

(Disclaimer: I own nothing and have no say in FiM and associated industries. The cover image came from a suggestion from earth)

3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

Lazy Pines is a small town in the high country of Colorado, easily overshadowed by the bigger sights to see along Colorado State 9. When influenza strikes the town hard, it is little more than a statistical blip in a typical flu season. No one thinks any more of it as the initial wave of infection passes ... until the other symptoms begin to manifest.

Meanwhile, during what should have been a routine trip to Canterlot, Twilight Sparkle stumbles upon a strange anomaly which turns into an all-consuming mystery. As she discovers the complex web of magic stubbornly maintaining this mystery's secrets, she grows worried what it could mean for herself and her family.

And as the residents of Lazy Pines struggle to understand -- or even believe -- what is happening to them, two worlds have irrevocably been set on a direct collision course.

Updates every other weekend.

Cover art by Mix-up. Please check out more artwork by this talented artist.

Now has its own TV Tropes page thanks to redandready45.

There are 100 billion stars in the Milky Way, and humanity is determined to explore every one. We send probes, probes with the blueprints to reproduce human explorers upon arrival. Uninhabited worlds the galaxy over can be colonized and populated, until after many years they too can join the vast throng of interstellar civilization. But if a probe is very, very lucky, it will land on a populated world instead. Equestria is one such world.

Even so, it's far from perfect for colonization, not with an environment lethal to human life. But each probe is resourceful and armed with the greatest machine intelligence mankind has devised. If placing a human mind into a newly manufactured human body won't work, it will just have to get a little more creative.

This book has a Hardcover! If you want to pick it up, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/

This story was written at the behest of Canary In The Coal Mine, who is sponsoring it on my Patreon. As usual, cover by Zutcha. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail.

Fantastic prereading help from: Chyre, Danger Noodle, Doctor Disco, and Doggyshakespeare (who also did the Esperanto translation). Thank you all for helping to make this story more readable and more consistent for everyone.

When I agreed to be sent to Equestria I didn't read the fine print. I'm the wrong age, the wrong sex, and lost in the wilderness.

New Cover art commissioned from Lunar Froxy.