//------------------------------// // Tried or True // Story: The Changeling of the Guard // by vdrake77 //------------------------------// The blithe way I suggested my potential upcoming demise upset Shining, but… he did not disagree with the assessment. Truthfully, I do not think he was certain if he wanted to. More concerning, he refused to discuss any further business with me, and I could not blame him. He did, however, order me to hold my pony shape. I can only imagine my changeling form upset him, but as my liege that was his prerogative. My fate seemed to be firmly in the hooves of the ponies I had so thoughtlessly adopted and betrayed. I tried not to think of Topaz. I did not know how to fix matters with her, but… avoidance, perhaps? Surely others were able to help her. And then again, I had failed. I should have told Shining. Should have warned him, perhaps. Topaz was… I could not think of it. Fear could be as fatal as starvation, and I would serve none thusly. If that was how Shining or the Princesses determined I would best serve Equestria, I would accept said proclamation, but I could not shirk so easily under my own volition. I could only hope matters would resolve themselves. A foolish hope. Events seemed to be conspiring against me, of late. I awoke to the Sun Princess watching me, a small tray beside her. Daintily her magic lifted a small glass to her lips and she did not so much savor as inhale the contents. The bottle beside her was unique to me; it lacked a paper label as was common and instead seemed to have a piece of twine wrapped around the neck with a piece of yellowed paper dangling from it. She started slightly as I moved, obviously having not realized I had woken until then. “...You wake with surprising grace.” She hesitated, magic enveloping the bottle as if she wasn’t sure what to do with it, then she sighed. “It has been a trying week. The children are returned, but only claim they were ‘saved’ by a friend who doesn’t want to be public about it. Apparently they were overzealous in their protection and they were all stuck, rattled but otherwise unharmed. I might have to throw a parade for somepony who doesn’t want to be named. Ponies are up in arms about invaders, spies and worse. And... I am whining to a prisoner.” She took a bracing sip of her wine. “I should offer you a glass for politeness's sake, but I only have this one.” “A kindness I am unworthy of, regardless, your Highness.” The Sun Princess of Equestria gave me a sad smile, the glass rotating in her telekinetic grip. “Not ‘Majesty’ anymore, Idol?” It was now my turn to consider my words. “...I do not think I wish to associate others with the Queen anymore. At least, not in a positive manner.” “And yet you won’t tell us where we can find her?” “...No. It would not be…” I gave my head a small shake, but could not meet her gaze. “You have my loyalty, your Highness. I have sworn my oaths again, but they are also still my people. I am bound to defend them as well. I do not… I do not think they can survive without her.” “You seem to have managed well enough.” I could not suppress a bitter laugh. “Your Highness thinks much of my failings, and whilst I am not opposed to my accommodations, I recognize they are not to pony preference. I fear most of my kind have managed without the hive… poorly. And I have met very few who preceded me into banishment.” My words were weighed heavily. “...Few, but not none?” “I have more hooves than I have had peers,” I admitted with some chagrin. “Of those, they seem… isolated. Hermits of one sort or another, who occasionally venture into Equestria proper to gather enough to isolate once more. For them, I seem more... a last resort, if a holiday outing proves insufficient?” “Surely there is some sort of support network? Your Queen did not simply cast you aside-” I did not think I flinched, but her words halted. “...she gave you nothing?” “We are a… harsh people. Small failings are tolerable, but when the hive itself is troubled… “ I lowered my head still further. “Truthfully, I do not know if my exile was first of a wave of many, or simply one in a long line and most simply did not need to come to me. I was given enough to manage on my own for a period of time that I truly think might have been considered an ample bounty compared to some of the others. Those who exceptionally displeased her seemed to receive less.” “...You were the support network? Surely that would be noticed of somepony in your position.” “It was. It was just… assumed to be something illicit in a different way.” Celestia just looked at me, pursing her lips. “...Idol, you’ve been a model guard. You have some proclivities that I think we’re going to have to stop ignoring-” She looked away, lifting her bottle and filling her tiny glass nearly to the brim. “...Your highness, that is precisely what I am talking about.” “Idol, you are in quite enough trouble. If you are telling me that you’ve been feeding information to changelings for almost the entirety of your guard career under the guise of…” the glass was raised in an almost desperate motion as she downed the entirety of the wine. “...I believe I might scream.” “I have, in fact, only been feeding them. The crystals in my room store excess energy. I… share the bounty I gather with them as they need it. Most were shamed by the need for it, and few have actually sought my guidance in any tangible way.” “Surely not all of them were changelings…? I distinctly recall you leading a mare I’d never met through the castle whilst you were supposed to be seeing to my sister.” “No additional changeling was involved in that matter. I was performing my duty.” “...Idol. I will require an explanation.” “I was taking your sister on an unauthorized night tour of Canterlot in fulfilment of a promise to her. She desired to ‘sneak out,’ I believe was the terminology used.” I punctuated the phrase with a quick bend of an upheld hoof. There was a faint shattering sound as the wine glass’s stem broke. The sun princess took a deep, cleansing breath, then let it out in a single irritable exhalation. “I’d tell you never to do that again, but you only did that once to my knowledge, and my knowing would, I’m sure, ruin Luna’s fun. As nothing bad happened and again, to my knowledge, it caused no strife, I am going to continue going on as though that never happened, both for my own sanity and my continued good relationship with my rulebreaking sister.” “That seems like a common ‘big sister’ attitude, your Highness.” “And I’m going to overlook you sneaking my sister out of the castle before I could discuss the matter with her. But… why you, then? How did they even find you?” “Word of mouth, I suppose. When they found their way to me, whether through instruction or desperation, I tried to help.” “Exiles must stick together?” “We must not, in fact,” I corrected her, gently. “There are… Orders against forming a hive. I simply felt… I felt that I could not live with who I was if I did not try. I did not like thinking less of them for not succeeding where I had simply been exceptionally lucky. And, the simple truth is, I am privy to an exceptional banquet of love by virtue of proximity to the castle. I cannot always… identify the source of the emotions, but Princess Cadance is a beacon. I fear I must have somehow revealed her existence to the Hive, but I did not do so intentionally. I swear it.” Celestia regarded me for a long moment. “...Idol, if I truly thought you had betrayed us, I assure you, this conversation would be much, much different. So no more of this nonsense about execution, that is off the table and has been from the moment Prince Shining Armor informed me of your situation. And again, when Cadance woke me up twenty minutes ago to plead your case, because after Shining apparently told her what you expected after our own counsel, I was subjected to her ignoring all of my assurances that you would be treated fairly while she railed at me how you attempted to protect her from the Queen. Tomorrow I have a private audience with an entomologist willing to trade ‘important information’ about the attackers in exchange for information about one of the ‘missing ponies’, where I suspect it will be taken off the table still a third time.” Her expression said that she was less than pleased by this obvious attempt to get access to me. I hoped Topaz was doing better, and I expected a thorough tongue-lashing, but... “Idol Hooves is… missing, then?” She waved a hoof. “Enough of that, it’s only going to get confusing. Regardless of anything, you are still Idol Hooves until I decide otherwise. Unless you have a better name for me to use?” “Er… I could try to come up with one-” “Too late. You’ll remain Idol,” I was informed with a curt nod as the princess continued. “There have been a number of ponies who have up and vanished around the invasion, all of whom are being investigated thoroughly. Several just… went on planned vacation right before the wedding and had no intention of returning before the ‘romantic madness’ ended. A few found coated in green goo in their own homes. A number of guards were found in pods in the crystal caverns beneath the castle. Apparently they were lured down by various means but seem none the worse for wear despite the lost time. Most did not even realize they had been captured.” Something struck me, and I felt a spike of panic. “Did they find Mothchaser amongst them?” “Actually, yes, they did. She apparently stumbled onto the captured guards shortly before Cadance was replaced and made quite a fuss. If she’d succeeded, she might have thrown a wrench into their whole plan, but… regardless. She is singed, but otherwise well and claims to have given them a whole new fear of her kind. Yes, you are among the missing, with only a few guards aware of your actual situation and sworn to secrecy.” Go Mothchaser, apparently. “Now that you ask, however… that does make me question her own insistence that we find you right away. Beyond that, of course your disappearance has led to other rumors amongst those that know of you. One is that you were among the first captured by one of your ‘many friends’. And another is that you seduced the Queen by mistake and she’s kept you as a concubine and you are simply never going to be seen again, and the entire invasion was because you talked Shining up so well she had to steal him for a complete set.” “Oh, dear Order. Please. Say it is not so.” “I almost believed that one myself. This is what happens when you keep secrets and nopony can get ahead of the rumor mill. I am... upset that we were not aware of the truth before, but… Harmony help me, it isn’t like there were no signs. I presumed the amnesia story was a cover, it usually is. It’s an excuse to let ponies get away from a life they aren’t happy in and find a second chance in public service. Most ‘recall’ who they are at some point and go back to tell the ones they left behind that they’re happy now, or go back to them with a new sense of purpose and confidence. It’s just… a part of our society. But you clung to it. You obviously had a history you wished not to revisit, even some intriguing past, given that I recognized your cutie mark...” She trailed off, expectant. “...I did encounter that cup, yes.” Her relief was evident. “I’d always assumed, but Cadance suggested things that made it… awkward to discuss. Would that be something from your past you could reveal? It would make a princely anniversary gift for both her and Shining Armor. Perhaps an important one.” “I… accidentally destroyed it, during my early exile.” I confessed, sheepishly. “I encountered the mare named ‘Daring’ and- Even if she was slightly inebriated, the pieces fit together instantly as her eyes went wide. “Oh dear Faust, you’re King Kookaracha!?” I stifled a moan of misery. “The only thing I did was walk out of the temple holding the chalice. I walked up on her and some monstrosity fighting, I had no idea-” The princess began laughing, loud and long. It felt like something she had desperately needed, and I was privileged to serve. Even if I was, after all these years, still just a little sour about the cup and that blasted pegasus. It was a lovely day. Busy, ponies milling about as they always did, but for once, everyone just seemed to know where they were supposed to be. Princess Celestia was holding court, the sun was high, and the castle just seemed filled with radiant warmth of a late spring morning. Donut Joe had an interesting new marketing strategy; delivery coffee. He was, as they say, making a killing. The line to the throne room wasn’t exceptionally long, but the Sun Princess always gave her petitioners the time they deserved to make their needs, gripes, grudges or hopes known. Today mostly seemed to be the last, which was always to the Princess’s good mood. Families wishing to dedicate a portion of their unexpected windfall to the crown, asking the crown to fund some new idea to improve Equestria, adventurers and inventors wishing to know what need the crown had for them, all fueled by an enjoyably smooth coffee with only the slightest hint of bitterness. I wondered if Pristine and Joe had shared this business venture. It just felt… remarkably soothing. Not Joe’s usual blend at all, but… enjoyable, all the same. Twilight’s most recent tome was so large she would be blocking the hallways if it wasn’t for the gentle nudges of Spike, who was steering her much as we had back when she was merely the royal messaging service, amicably chatting with everyone and relaying Twilight’s typical questions and information she’d gathered on her extended stay in Ponyville. A faint admonishment came from her as she corrected some statement of his, followed by an anecdote from one of her friends. It was very nearly time for me to resume my duties with the younger ruler of Equestria. It was a Candied Land sort of night, and I looked forward to it. I took leave of my current posting as my replacement arrived, punctual as he always should be, rounded a corner to make my way to the Princess’s tower- “Is this truly what you dream of?” I blinked, back in guard position again. It was a lovely day. Busy, ponies milling about as they always did- “This is a perfectly ordinary day. Why would you dream of what you do every day?” I blinked. It was a lovely day, and I was hearing voices. Looking around, I could not find the princess I had been sure I’d heard. Perhaps madness was contagious…? Concerned, I turned to my fellow guard. “Did you hear that?” They did not respond, merely maintaining excellent guarding posture. Normally, this would not be so concerning, but very oddly, I could not recognize their face. For that matter, I was not sure they even had a face. In fact, everything around me was slowly bleeding of color, the ponies losing their very identity and cutie marks, the walls themselves beginning to resemble that of the Hive. Even my own cutie mark began to fade. “...I fear I am succumbing to lunacy.” I informed the guard whose face I could no longer identify. “Unfortunate. And perhaps a little rude, given Our presence and thy own position.” “Your Highness? Where are you?” I began to move from my position, but it was like pulling myself from a cocoon, a thick invisible slurry holding me in place until I had pulled entirely free. “Where I always am this time of day,” came the annoyed response. Curiously, I marched down the suddenly bland hallways and up an equally monotonous staircase to the Princess’s tower. Knocking on a featureless door with a dull ‘thud’, the barked ‘Enter!’ was more relief than anything else. I was incalculably relieved that the room within was much as I always remembered it, the Princess wearing a nightcap decorated with stars and a tiny fuzzy ball at the end. “We wore this once, when we were overcome with chills due to sickness. Why, prithee, are we wearing it now?” I shrugged, looking around in relief as I made sure the room was indeed unchanged. “I suppose it suits your Highness? You are the one wearing it.” “Because thou hast dreamed it such! Tis vexing to stumble into a dreamscape so solid and yet so boring! Be this some sort of… trick to ensure thou thinkest thyself Idol Hooves in truth?” “...I am Idol Hooves. Your Highness, something is wrong with the castle-” “Cease! Thou cannot be Idol Hooves. Idol Hooves is a trusted companion and wouldst not have held this from us! Thou mayest fool our sister, but thou shan’t fool us!” I tilted my head. “...Why would I not? It was never important.” “Thine kin sought to overthrow Our lands! Thy queen assaulted Our sister!” “Your Highness is only jealous that the Queen got in a single lucky hit. And relieved that it did no lasting harm.” A snort, but then her eyes closed as if in pain. “Do not… do not do that. Do not make us smile. The others may be fooled, but thou cannot be Idol. Idol does not dream.” “That is true, I do not.” She stared at me. “...Thou art in a dream right now.” “I am in Canterlot right now. I think.” I looked about, concerned. Everything seemed less… substantial than it had a second ago. “Nay, thou art not. Or… well, I suppose we are, but not precisely-” the princess threw her hooves in the air. “Thou art making this complicated! Why do you dream of this? A castle unsieged, a populace calm and cheerful?! Why would this make thou happy, unless...” “...unless…?” “...Unless thou truly are Idol. And thou truly wish to simply continue having this same dream, over and over and over again.” “I do not believe I do dream, your Highness, this is a first-” “Tis the twelfth time we have undergone this dream with but minor changes! At first we wished to determine what treachery was afoot, but… thou simply played Battlecloud with us. We obviously cheated and thou cared not a wit!” “Cheating is an advanced part of any board game. Bold claims if you do not try to cheat just a little, you aren’t really trying. Shining disagrees, but lying seems a strongly encouraged strategy in card games. I would surely call you upon it if you did it more than once.” “We did it twice!” “...I do not recall that.” “Because thou hast had nearly the same dream a dozen times over! Why must thou do this?! Thou canst lie in one’s own dreams!” “...again, your Highness, to my own recollection, this is a first for me.” Luna scowled ferociously. “Tis not. We found thee amorously engaged in thy first dream.” I blinked a few times, then felt what little color I had drain away. “Surely not.” “Indeed. Twas truly bizarre, t’were wandering about as though ye were vastly drunk. Thou were both a participant and driving force of the dream. As though dreaming of someone else and living through them. Vigorously so.” “Phrasing, your Highness.” “We are fully aware of the entendre and intended it. Thou art blushing.” “I… am recently beset with lusts unfamiliar to me. ” Now it was the princess’s turn to be startled, and she actually took a few steps back, not meeting my eyes anymore. “...Tis not the first time we have been told such a thing, but we like thee only as a friend. Liked. More when thou were not encouraging us to partake in blatantly excessive old Equish.” “I am aware of her Highness's orientation. How would that make sense? And… I apologize, I think I find it charming.” “Thou art not the first stallion to have an interest in mares who are not interested in stallions.” “...That seems exceptionally nonsensical.” “Welcome to sexuality. It is oftimes messy.” Finally she looked back up at me. “...Thou actually loved being a guard. ‘Tis why thou dream of it.” She rolled her wings in a shrug. “That and a lethargy spell burned into the very stones of the dungeon. “...I believe that is an accurate way to explain matters.” I nodded. It also explained why our more sleep-deprived older guards would oftimes allow themselves to be ‘checked in’ to the drunk tank when I was reasonably sure they had not partaken to extreme. “...Thou must know it cannot be borne any longer. Not as things were.” “...I know.” I looked out the window, at the monochromatic Canterlot. Just a bit of color drew back into it. “And I will miss it.” She continued to stare for a long time. “...We have always wished for some way to reward you for good service to us. And perhaps we have been stripped of our opportunity. But for now…” It was a lovely day. Busy, ponies milling about as they always did, but for once, everyone just seemed to know where they were supposed to be.