Congratulations! You're an Empress.
The interior of the Palace was classic dream architecture. Not of the stairways-parallel-to-the-ground, Escherian variety, but just rooms linked together because the dreamer felt that they should be there, regardless of any logical order they may or may not make. After the fifth flight of upward stairs, it was clear Cozy Glow thought she should be a long way in and a long way up.
"You could just take us directly to her, couldn't you?" Spy suggested.
"I could," Luna admitted, "but I prefer to go through dreams on their own terms where possible. It's more considerate to the dreamer."
"Ah."
She glowered at him. "And that brings up a point: this is her dream. You have no rights here. I will remove you myself if you cause her any distress."
"I will be on my very best behavior," he promised.
Luna regarded him for some time. "...yeeessss. That's what I'm worried about."
"I promise!" he said as they stopped before a large pair of doors. "You won't even know I'm there."
She snorted skeptically, then blinked as she turned those words over. If the whole point of this was for him to see her, then... "Wait, what's that supposed to mean?"
"I have every confidence that you'll get Cozy Glow into the right frame of mind." The doors slowly began to open, and he laid a personable hand on her shoulder. "You've got this."
Luna's eyes widened. "Spy, don't you dare-!"
And then she was alone. She took in a long, furious breath through her nostrils, released it the same way. Then the doors were open, and there was nothing to do but to move forward. (Admittedly, she could have just left, but that would leave Spy completely unattended in the filly's dream. And... it was worth the effort to speak to Cozy Glow again. At least she'd been allowed into the palace this time.)
The chamber beyond was half throne room, half auditorium. The royal seat in question was exactly as large and gaudy as Cozy Glow wanted it to be, which was quite a lot. The Empress herself lounged there, surrounded by an abundance of pillows. Also surrounding her were several figures that were extremely, annoyingly familiar.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash (or, rather, dream replicas thereof) stood at the foot of the steps leading up to the throne, acting as guards judging by the armor they wore and the pikes they held. Rarity was giving Cozy Glow a thorough hooficure, with Fluttershy acting as a footrest to help the process. Pinkie Pie was providing a selection of baked delights on demand, and Twilight Sparkle was the official pillow fluffer. And just behind the throne were Celestia and Luna themselves, waving palm tree fans to give the tiny tyrant a pleasant breeze.
Above the throne, behind and to either side, the walls turned into seats, and dozens of upon hundreds of ponies and assorted other creatures were in attendance, watching Cozy Glow adoringly. Luna recognized some - most of these were students at Twilight's school - but others she couldn't put a name to offhoof. The crowd was surprisingly quiet, perhaps so that they didn't miss anything their best friend might possibly say.
Cozy Glow's world, if her plans had come to fruition.
"Well, well. If it isn't our beloved Princess of the Moon," Cozy Glow called from the throne. "It's been a while since your last visit. I thought you'd given up on me."
Luna studiously ignored the sight of her own replica, and focused on the pegasus. "You made it abundantly clear in our previous encounter that you didn't welcome my presence. I've been respecting your wishes."
"Well, that's nice," the filly sneered. "I was worried the Princess-seeking bats were too subtle. If I'd known you were coming, I would've laid them out for you."
Patience, Luna. You are the Princess, she is the child. "They sufficed."
"Oh, good." Cozy Glow looked to Luna's left and right. "So... where's, uh... where's Spy?" she asked, entirely too casually.
"Actually..." Luna followed suit. "...I'm not sure. He was right here a moment ago, but he has this invisibility trick he uses."
The filly's slightly hopeful expression went flat. "...he didn't come. Of course he wouldn't." Then she glared at Luna. "But I didn't expect you to cover for him with such an obviously fake story."
"It's the truth!"
"Uh-huh. And is your imaginary friend in the room with us now?"
Luna peered into the corners. "...he might be..."
"Really, Princess Luna. You didn't have to lie to me to get in." She ignored Luna's protests. "And to be honest, I don't want to see his stupid jerk face right now anyway. Whatever it really looks like." She took a bite from a perfectly-baked donut with pink frosting and sprinkles 'pon it. "But I know you came in with somepony else. I heard you talking. So where are they? It's not another therapist, is it? I'm pretty tired of those. They break so easily. Oh! Is it another," and here her tone turned mocking, "candidate foster parent?"
"Not after what you did to the last ones," Luna returned darkly.
"Yeah, how are the Puddings doing these days?"
She knew from memory; it was something she felt personally responsible for. "The doctors are fairly confident that Figgy will be able to play the harmonica again someday," she said, "but Tapioca still faints at the sight of a beekeeper. Was all that really necessary?"
Cozy Glow shrugged. "Hey, I warned you all what was going to happen. Anyway, what's this all about, Luna? You've never brought anypony to my dream before. I didn't even think you could."
Neither did I. "...before I answer that," she hedged, stalling for time, "could I ask you a question?"
The filly made a face. "It's not the usual one, is it? 'Why, Cozy Glow, why did you do it?' So boring."
"No, it's something else." May as well ask the third biggest lingering question...
"Sure, go ahead, then."
She looked around at the attentive audience, at the dream replicas around the throne. "...how did you think this was all going to work?"
Cozy Glow looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Well, even assuming your plan had worked, that you had drained all the magic from Equestria and nopony knew you had done it... what then? Without Celestia and I to move Sun and Moon, the world would be locked in eternal twilight - so to speak - and the magic of harmony would be gone as well, so friendship would no longer be as potent as it once was. So... what happens then? How were you planning to become the Empress of Friendship?"
The filly blinked. "What, really? That's your question?" She laughed. "But it's so obvious!"
"It... it is?"
Cozy Glow shifted position, and dream-Twilight was immediately there to readjust her cushions. "That's the problem with you alicorns. You have no vision. With magic out of the picture, taking over would have been the easiest thing in the world! You see-"
There was a sound of unsteady hoofsteps approaching down the hall. "I'm here! I'm sorry I'm late!"
They both turned to see an earth pony mare with yellow fur and a white mane with orange streaks stumble through the doorway. She staggered forward and leaned a foreleg against Applejack as she gasped for breath. "I'm sorry... it took so long... Princess... but that was... so many stairs."
Luna was glad she was turned away from Cozy Glow, because she couldn't stop her mouth from gaping open. Was the Dream Realm just... much less secure than she had previously thought?
For her part, Cozy Glow seemed unimpressed. "So I guess here's your straggler. Who's this, Luna?"
"W-well..."
"Le... Lem..." The mare held up a hoof as she took a few deep breaths. "Lemon... Drizzle." She swallowed and regained her footing. "Foal Protective Services. I'm your new case worker. Pleased to meet you, Cozy Glow."
"Case worker?" Luna was glad Cozy Glow said it so she didn't have to.
"Yes. There's been a certain amount of concern at the agency whether your incarceration adheres to health and well-being regulations. I'm here to see how you're doing."
The filly looked astonished. "Health and well-being? And for this you're coming into my dream?" She looked at Luna, who had never heard of any such agency. "While all this stuff with Spy and Tirek is going on?"
"I insisted," Lemon Drizzle said. "We've been trying to arrange this meeting for moons, but the Princesses have been stalling, supposedly due to the high-security nature of Tartarus. This way seemed like a sensible work-around." She glowered at Luna. "Even so, they've been dodging my requests for an interview like a spinning top."
And then Luna got it. This was Spy! But... how? While it was true that dreamers had a lot of control over their dream avatars, to change one's identity so completely and thoroughly... only the strongest of changelings and the occasional actress had ever managed that, creatures who had spent years learning how to wear somepony else's face. She was starting to understand how dangerous Spy truly was.
Now Luna could even recognize the pony Spy was pretending to be; it was the cake-and-ice-cream enthusiast from the first dream he had fallen into. He could have only been in there for a few seconds, but he was able to copy the mare precisely. Had he been planning this, even back then?
"Hah! Sounds like them. There's nothing they hate more than having to admit they made a mistake." Cozy Glow watched the newcomer suspiciously for a moment. "So... what exactly are you wanting to do here? You're not going to try to make me be a good little pony, are you?"
Once 'Lemon Drizzle' had seen the recognition in Luna's eyes, she turned back to the filly. "No, that's not why I'm here. I'd just like to ask you a few questions about your current situation, and if, after a review, we find it lacking, we can take steps to provide what the palace has not."
"Hold up, hold up." Cozy Glow leaned forward. "There were some words there that I think I liked. Are you saying that if I talk to you, I might get more stuff and it'd make the Princesses look bad?"
"Well, that isn't exactly how I would put it, but... yes."
"In that case, sure!" She skooched back in her throne and dismissed the false Rarity with a wave. "Pull up a pony and have a seat."
Her guest eyed Fluttershy a trifle nervously. "I'll... stand."
"Suit yourself."
Lemon Drizzle glanced at Luna. "Normally we conduct these interviews in private, so that there's no threat of reprisal for anything you say. But the Princess has made it clear-"
"Oh, she can stay," Cozy Glow said loftily. "I'm not the slightest bit afraid of her or her sister. Am I, Luna?"
The alicorn looked away as a fresh trickle of shame etched its way across her soul. Lemon watched her curiously for a moment. "...very well. Let's get started. How do you feel about your current circumstances?"
"I dunno. Normal, I guess. They feel... appropriate?"
It was uncanny, Luna thought as they began to talk. Spy had taken this average pony (whose cutie mark suggested a career in the stained glass business, or perhaps a researcher in the field of kaleidoscopology) and, with word and bearing alone, turned her into the very model of a dedicated bureaucrat, the kind that respected the Princesses, but who swore loyalty only to The System. Celestia was better than she with these creatures, but that was only to be expected; The System had grown up around her sister, she was all but part of it. The paper pushers mainly got on Luna's nerves, even as she understood their value.
"Do you feel at all threatened by those around you? Are you ever afraid of making them angry?"
"Pfft! Hardly. There's only Tirek and Tempest. He's harmless, and she's not so bad once you get to know her."
But look how quickly he'd established a rapport with the filly, who definitely seemed more at ease than she had been when Luna had entered. She assumed that this was what he'd meant by a 'right state of mind'; simply by being there, Luna became a target for the filly's ire, and then he was able to swoop in and form a kind of united front against her.
"Do you think you've been getting enough to eat?"
"I mean... it's Tartarus, so..."
"Yes, we're currently discussing whether enchantments that replace the need to eat are acceptable under regulations. But what do you think?"
"...I just had my first hayburger in almost a year. It was so good to eat something again. And then I threw it up."
And now he was just asking her this long list of questions that... uh...
"Do you feel like you've had enough time to yourself, without anypony invading your privacy?"
"...there isn't any privacy. It's always just me and Tirek, right next to each other. Sometimes he just ignores me, but I don't think that really counts."
...questions that sounded very appropriate to ask a foal in Cozy Glow's situation, now that she thought about it.
"...no. No books. No music. Nothing to pass the time, except talking to Tirek. Until he tells me to shut up."
...had she ever thought about it? Had anypony? Who should think about it, if not the Princesses?
"Well, that should take care of most of it," Lemon Drizzle said while Luna was examining new and unfamiliar ideas.
Cozy Glow was slow to respond, lost in her own thoughts. "Do you think it'll help?"
"Based on what you've told me, I suspect there should be some improvements, one way or another," the case worker replied, glancing at Luna. "I'm curious, though; you two mentioned this Spy character. Who are they? A new prisoner in Tartarus?"
The filly adopted a thin frown. "Spy doesn't matter. He's nobody."
"...I see." Her eyes closed briefly. "Then there's just a few last details I'd like to clear up. Our records seem a bit incomplete."
This time her gaze at Luna was rather more meaningful, and the alicorn roused herself enough to realize something was expected of her. "Hm? Oh. Ah... I've been... meaning to have that file sent over."
"See that you do, please," Lemon said primly.
"What kind of details?" asked Cozy Glow, rather dully.
"Well, for starters, your parents. I could find no details about them at all."
The filly's head snapped up, blunt edges turned suddenly sharp. "That's none of your business!"
Lemon's eyebrows raised. "My business is exactly what it is. I'm assuming they're somehow absent, or you would have been released into their care."
Cozy Glow's tight-lipped expression told the world that no information would be coming from that route. "I'm afraid we don't know," Luna explained. "We've done everything we can to find them, but we don't even know their names."
"Really? There are no birth records, anything of the sort?"
"Normally, there would be. We're fairly certain she previously lived in Cloudsdale, because the pony in charge of the records reported meeting 'an awfully nice young filly who wanted to look up some records and accidentally burned down the filing cabinet.'" In the background, Cozy Glow snickered.
"...I see. Then she doesn't have a guardian at all? Who was her advocate?"
The filly's brow furrowed. "Advocate?"
"A representative," Lemon clarified. "Somepony who represented you at the trial, and negotiated with the Princesses on your behalf before they sentenced you to Tartarus."
Cozy Glow just stared at her for a long time, then laughed. "Trial? Oh, wow... they really didn't tell you anything, did they?"
Lemon turned a sharp glare toward Luna. "No trial? They just summarily sent you-"
If anything, the laughter became louder. "No, no! You don't get it!" She looked at Luna as well. "Show her."
"...I..."
"Show her!" the filly snapped, suddenly angry. "I know you remember it!"
Head hung low, unable to meet Lemon's gaze, the alicorn's horn emitted a soft blue light. The glow expanded to encompass all three (apparent) ponies...
And then they were floating in midair in a wide, two-tiered room. The upper level mostly consisted of a walkway around the lower level, with a guardrail to prevent falls. There were doors all along the walkway, and a set of tables and attached kitchen down below. At first glance, the setup suggested 'prison'... but a second glance would suggest something similar, but softer.
Three ponies moved along the walkway. One was Luna, and next to her walked a larger alabaster alicorn; clearly Celestia, as if anypony in the dream weren't already aware. The third was an elderly earth pony, russet and grey, who looked as though she had the word 'MATRON' carved on her very soul. "Thank you both for coming so quickly, Princesses. I'm at my wit's end."
"Well, of course this is a matter of great interest to us as well, Miss Ironflank" Celestia assured her. "Has it truly been as bad as you say?"
Ironflank sighed. "Worse. Turnover has been higher than I've ever seen, she's unionized the children in the south wing, and as for what happened to the Puddings...!"
"They're getting the very best care," Luna promised.
"These are grim days for the Happy Hoofsteps Orphanage," the matron continued solemnly. "That little filly is ridiculously good at getting her way. So far she's managed to talk her way to freedom two dozen times, and the next time it happens I'm almost tempted to let her go rather than fire and replace another caretaker. You have to do something."
"We understand, but we've run out of options," Celestia said. "We haven't found a single pony ready to claim they're related, every foster home has sent her back within days - sometimes hours - and there isn't a boarding school in Equestria that wants to be the site of her next attempt to drain the world's magic."
"Have her demands changed at all?" asked Luna.
"The exact same," Ironflank informed her wearily, "every-"
"Celestia?! Is that you? I'd recognize that woogly hair anywhere!"
The three ponies looked down at the cafeteria below. Two burly caretakers stood there, each holding one end of a light chain. One looked bone tired and haggard, like ten miles of bad road. The other's head was entirely stuck within a large cake, possibly rum raisin flavored.
Between them, with the chains attached to a collar around her neck, was Cozy Glow.
"I can keep this game up forever, Celestia! This is all on your head! Every day you refuse to give me what I want, you're making the ponies around me suffer!"
She stomped her hoof, and the caretakers flinched.
"Send me to Tartarus! That's where I'm supposed to be! If you don't, I'm going to make sure every pony in Equestria pays for it!"
They turned away without responding, ignored her shouted challenges. "...as you can see," Ironflank concluded.
"Well!" Luna snorted. "We're certainly not going to give her what she wants!"
"...perhaps we should."
The midnight mare's head whipped around. "Sister!"
"It needn't be for long," Celestia said soothingly. "Just until she realizes how terrible it is and asks to be let out. Then maybe she'll let us find her a family."
"Absolutely not!" Luna snapped. "Tartarus is no place for a foal!"
"Do we have any other options?" her sister shot back. "We both know what she's capable of. She's only likely to ramp up her efforts until we give in. Next time somepony might get seriously hurt." Celestia's head drooped. "And she's right. The suffering she's causing is partly our fault. I don't know how one of our ponies has become so... damaged, but it's our responsibility."
Luna opened her mouth to respond, then glanced at Ironflank, looking embarrassed and worried nearby. It didn't do for the Princesses to argue in public, lest they remind everypony of the last several centuries. "We'll discuss this later," she declared. "But there has to be another way."
"If you think of one," Celestia replied, "I'd love to hear it..."
The glow faded, and the three ponies stood in Cozy Glow's throne room once more. "We never found one," Luna said, her voice heavy. "We thought of exile, but there was no way to guarantee that she wouldn't return... except perhaps one," she added, thinking of a certain mirror, "and sending her across that border would have just given our problems to the realm beyond. A practice that, in the past, we have relied upon far too often. So... in our weakness, we gave her to Tartarus. It was only supposed to be a short visit, but then moons passed and she showed no interest in leaving. We asked Fizzlepop to check on her occasionally and let us know if she wanted out... but she never did."
"And why should I?" Cozy Glow said triumphantly. "This is where I belong. Do you get it now, Lemon? I sentenced myself. I'm here in Tartarus because I chose to be in Tartarus."
Lemon Drizzle's mouth had fallen open in shock. "...why?"
The filly turned her nose up. "That's still none of your business."
"Still?" Lemon stepped closer, and Cozy Glow, realizing she'd let something slip, slapped her hooves over her mouth. "So it has something to do with your parents, then. Did they do something to you? Or-"
"This interview is over!" Suddenly the pegasus sported a unicorn horn. "Don't worry about having to walk down; I'll show you out." She lifted the mare in a magic field, and an open window appeared in a nearby wall.
"Cozy Glow, wait! Let me help you!"
"I don't need your help! I don't need anypony's help!"
And with that, Lemon Drizzle was launched into the Great Beyond.
"Spy!" Luna rushed to the window and tried to spot where he'd landed. Normally falling in a dream was harmless, but she didn't know if that held true for whatever dreamwalking technique Spy was using.
"Oh, c'mon, it's just a dream. She'll be-" Cozy Glow stopped. "Wait. Spy? But... not really Spy... right?"
Luna didn't respond, still casting about desperately.
"...that was really Spy?!"
Finally, a splash of red among the white and gold caught her eye. Fortunately not a literal splash, but...
"There he-" Her eyes widened as she took in the scene, and she became shocked, then enraged.
"You found him? Is he okay?"
"Oh, he's fine," Luna growled. "But he won't be by the time I get done with him." She vanished in a burst of magic, then reappeared hovering over the form of Spy. His illusion had fallen at the same time he had.
Contrary to popular belief, if you died in a dream you did not die in real life. You did, however, tend to stop dreaming, there being nothing left to dream with when you're dead and there wouldn't be much point.
"Another trick!" she shouted. "Another! From the very beginning! How dare you?!"
Spy didn't respond, being a little preoccupied at the moment. For the Palace had a great many flagpoles, and Cozy Glow's throw had sent him in a perfect trajectory to meet one.
There was no blood and, apparently, no pain. Spy was simply impaled through the chest, which he seemed to regard only as an inconvenience, judging from his expression.
He should have been dead. He should have been gone. The fact that he wasn't gave Luna a very good (if incomplete) idea of what was going on. "You are so... clever," she spat.
Spy made a weak effort to pull himself up along the pole, but soon gave up. "Well, someone around here should be."
She glared at him. "I'll deal with you later," she announced, and with a bolt of magic blasted him into a fine vapor.
A soft sob drifted down from above, and she flew up and back in through the window. The throne room was empty; no audience, no admirers, nopony at all. The sobbing came from somewhere beneath the pile of cushions on the throne, and Luna approached it slowly. "...Cozy Glow?"
There was a sniffle. Luna regarded the pile for a moment, then lowered herself to the ground, legs beneath her. "I'm here if you want to talk," she said, then waited.
She was soon rewarded; the filly never missed a chance to make her thoughts known. "I c-can't believe it," she managed through her tears. "He came all this way, and he wouldn't even t-talk to me without pretending to be somepony else! He's such a jerk!"
"I-"
"And I don't want to hear anything about how he must have had a good reason or something," Cozy Glow snapped.
"Actually, I was going to say I completely agree with you," Luna replied. "That creature has done nothing but humiliate me since he got here."
This elicited a bitter laugh, but only a short one. "I thought I finally found somecreature who actually understood me, but he turned out to be just like all the others. I hate him! I hate him so much!"
Her expression softened, and Luna moved cushions away from the pile until the filly's head was revealed. "I don't think you mean that." Then she reached out with a wingtip and lifted Cozy Glow's chin. "And I know for certain that he cares about you very much. If he didn't, he wouldn't have torn apart the Dream Realm to get here."
The filly's eyes widened. "H-he did that?"
"Oh, yes. You know me, Cozy Glow. I would never have brought him into your dream willingly."
"That's... kind of impressive." Then she shook her head roughly. "Still..."
Luna decided to change tactics. "Cozy Glow... you want him to understand you, but have you ever told him about yourself?" She felt she knew the answer; for a pony that loved to talk, the filly was astoundingly sparing with details about her own life.
"Well, no... b-but he always seems like he knows stuff anyway! He saw right through me from the very beginning! I just thought..."
"...that you could get him to be your friend without revealing your secrets?" The filly hesistated, then nodded. "Cozy Glow. If you want this to work, you have to trust him. Trust is one of the most important parts of any friendship."
She sniffled again. "I don't remember that element from Professor Twilight's school."
Luna chuckled. "That's because it's Loyalty, and Honesty, and Kindness and Generosity and even Laughter all rolled up in one."
"Ugh. So cheesy." Then Cozy Glow laughed, a genuine one this time. "I think Spy would get all huffy if I told him I trusted him, though."
"He seems the type," Luna agreed. "But as untrustworthy as he wants to be... I think he's earned yours. Don't you?" There was no response, and the alicorn stood up. "Well, think about it. I'm going to go have a few words with him before the night is over."
"Okay. And... Princess Luna? Thank you."
"Of course, Cozy Glow. I will always be here for you."
And then she left, to the one place she was sure Spy would be. Because there can be no dream without a dreamer.
Luna did not so much enter the dream as burst into it. She immediately turned to face the 'magic inscription' on the wall, and blasted it and the wall into atoms. Not that it had ever served any purpose but to deceive her, but it made her feel better, if only slightly.
"Spy! Show yourself!" There was no response, nor had she expected one. She wasted no time waiting; her horn glowed briefly, then a pulse of magical energy expanded from it, and every part of the dream it touched was vaporized. The trophies and weapons on the walls vanished, the music ended abruptly, the fireplace winked out. And just beyond the fireplace, in the center of the expanding white void, was...
Luna's eyes narrowed. "Really, now."
"Golly!" Cozy Glow said endearingly. "You wouldn't hurt a poor innocent filly, would you?"
A searing beam of blue light lanced out from her horn, stripping the illusion away in a moment.
"You seem awfully tense there, Princess," said Tempest Shadow with a smirk. "Don't get your mane all in a twist. Your hairdresser's gonna have a fit."
Another beam, and this time there was another human, but an unfamiliar one. He wore a yellow hardhat and goggles, but the rest of the attire was of a definite red theme. "Everyone back to the castle, pardner."
Another beam, and the new human was huge and bald. "I am amused by entire itsy bitsy teeny Princess!"
Another beam. "Words cannot express how much I hate Equestria right now!"
Another beam, this one sustained. It cut through the illusions one by one until Spy was left sprawled on the floor, trying to protect himself from the force of her magic. "All right! All right! You've made your point!" She ended the beam, and he sat up painfully. "...so much for courtesy."
"Fizzlepop told me you were dangerous," she said. "I should have listened."
"Actually, I'd say you listened all too well."
Luna didn't understand this, so simply ignored it. "How did you do it?" she demanded. "I might have believed it if you really had managed to dreamwalk on your own, but to create a projection and send that out into the Dream Realm? Impossible! It would take an alicorn's power to manage that!"
He smiled weakly up at her. "And for that," he said, "you have my gratitude."
She hesitated, unsure what to make of his words... then her eyes went wide as suspicion and realization raced through her. "...no."
"Allow me to correct what you just said. It isn't that you might have believed it. You did believe it. And if the Princess of Dreams believes that a mere figment can travel between minds, then who is the Dream Realm to argue?" He gave her a small bow. "All it took was to plant the idea in your head... and let it blossom."
She stared at him for a long moment... then suddenly all the anger and embarrassment drained away, and she couldn't help but laugh. "You... are... ridiculous, Spy."
"I prefer 'outrageous.'"
"We have to get you back to your own world. I'm terrified of what you'd do to Equestria if left unattended." She knelt down next to him and watched him for a while. "...what was all that just now? Despite what she said, I'm sure Cozy Glow would have talked to you without that illusion."
"Perhaps, but she wouldn't have been quite so forthcoming. A neutral but sympathetic party was more likely to get to the root of the problem." Then he scowled. "But we saw how well that worked. Now I know how she came to Tartarus, but not why. And I may not get another chance."
"Well, we'll see how that goes." He looked at her sharply, but she just smiled, taking simple pleasure in keeping secrets from him for once. "Spy... why do you care so much about her? The real reason this time. I suspect that an assassin like you usually has little compassion for those that cross your path."
He sighed and stared straight ahead for a moment. "...this is confidential?"
"Of course."
Even so, it took him a long time to speak. "...I have a son. Most probably my son," he amended. "But I was never there for him, didn't even know about him until... we met as adults. We work together. He doesn't know, or is in such deep denial that he'll never admit it. And... we're nothing alike."
Luna nodded in understanding. "And so the thought becomes 'what if I had been there?'"
"Well, it's natural, isn't it? Sometimes I see glimpses of what he could have become, but more often I just see wasted potential. Which probably makes me a terrible father. And I have to wonder... what kind of parent could I have been, if I'd had the chance?"
"And then comes Cozy Glow."
He smiled. "Oh, she's a marvel. At first I just meant to use her, but she's smart and determined and cunning, and I can see a bit of my younger self in her. I tried to fight it, but the more time I spent with her, the more I saw her as someone to be protected. Someone I could be there for, the way I hadn't been before." He frowned again. "Someone I thought I could at least spare from perpetual confinement. But it turns out that was her goal."
"Except she was willing to escape with you, was she not?"
Spy hesitated. "...yes. She was."
"Something to think about, then." Then she looked down. "Those questions you were asking her... they weren't just for her benefit, were they?"
"...no. My world, as you may guess, is brutish and violent compared to this one, but we still have laws against the way you treat prisoners. They aren't always followed, but they exist. I just... felt as though you could benefit from seeing the situation through fresh eyes."
"I know, but Cozy Glow-"
"Not just her."
Luna blinked. "Tirek?! You think we should treat a creature that twice tried to conquer Equestria with kindness?"
He raised his eyebrows. "That is one of your Elements, is it not? Now, personally, I would have put a bullet in his brain the first time around and have done with it, but if you make someone your prisoner, you assume responsibility for their well-being. Tartarus may provide for physical needs, but I would think someone such as yourself could imagine the privations of a thousand years of solitude."
She grimaced. "Cozy Glow has told you too much, I think. But... it's a fair observation, and one which I will consider." Luna took a long breath. "Which brings us to one last point. Whatever Cozy Glow might think, Celestia and I are responsible for her presence in Tartarus. Which... also means we're responsible for your presence as well."
His brow furrowed and he sat up straighter. "Excuse me?"
She stood up and paced a bit, putting words together in her head. "One thing we've never fully understood about Cozy Glow's plan was why Tirek gave her that particular ritual. Why would a creature that absorbs magic help remove all magic from Equestria?"
Spy nodded. "I noticed that inconsistency when she explained it to me. I take it you've figured it out?"
"I believe so. We've discovered that part of the ritual created an interdimensional portal between your world and ours... and set Cozy Glow as the anchor point to our world."
"...meaning?"
"Meaning the magic was not to be lost, but stored. Meaning Tirek would have been able to reopen the portal with the residual magic clinging to Cozy Glow, and then siphon it all back to himself, using her as a conduit. He can only take magic from living creatures, you see, and with all of it flowing through her, he'd be able to absorb it no matter where it originally came from."
His eyes widened. "At which point, with no magic to keep him imprisoned..."
"Instead of Cozy Glow's reign of 'friendship', we'd have Tirek holding ultimate power over every creature in the world."
Spy rubbed his chin. "That is... rather more clever than I would have given him credit for. But of course, Cozy Glow's plan failed, which led to her incarceration, which..." He looked at her suddenly.
She nodded. "...which gave Tirek the opportunity to escape to your world... at least partially. And thereby brought you here." Luna bent one knee to him, bowed her head. "It was our poor decision that caused this. I promise that we'll do what we can to make it right."
Spy stood up, looking a bit awkward. "Yes, well... all I really want is to go home. And for Cozy Glow to be free."
Luna smiled. "Of course, as Princess I cannot advise or assist you on the escape of a known criminal. But... if anyone can manage it, I'm sure you can. You're her best chance. Good night, Spy."
There was an hour left until dawn, and Luna spent the next few minutes of it slowly crossing the Dream Realm, processing the events of the evening. Of the many things she was chiding herself over, the one she kept coming back to was Spy's 'escape' from his own dream. How foolish she had been, to be so gullible as to lend power to his efforts! After all this time, she should have known better. Alternate dimension or not, there was no creature that could escape into the Dream Realm...
"HIIIII, PRINCESS LUNAAAAAAAA!"
...with the extremely rare exception.
"Hello, Pinkie Pie." She turned to see the Ponyville party pony half-out of her own dream, forelegs propped up on the glowing surface for support.
"Gosh, you look beat. Are you getting enough sleep? Or does going into ponies' dreams count as sleeping on the job? Maybe you should visit Rainbow Dash's dream and take a nap with her! I can hear the snoring from here! It's like ZZZXXXXXNNNNNNAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"
Luna smiled weakly. "I'm fine, thank you, Pinkie. It's just been a difficult evening."
Pinkie Pie gasped as an idea struck her. "You should come join the tea party I'm having! It'll wash alllll the stress away!"
"I appreciate the offer," she replied honestly, "but I need to go check on some ponies, and then... I have some thinking to do. Enjoy your party."
"Okay! G'night!" She dropped back into her dream, and Luna shook her head in bemusement before walking away.
Within, Pinkie returned to her party. "She had other things to do. Too bad. I bet she would've really liked meeting you!"
Her guest nodded and sipped more tea.
"Now, where were we...? Oh, that's right! You were telling me about how your friend was gone and there's a new friend in his place but you don't really like that new friend but you're supposed to get along until your other friend gets back, right?"
A nod, and despite the lack of visible facial features, a mournful expression.
"Well, that's super easy! You should just get them a present!"
'A present?' her guest didn't exactly say, but that was the clear intention behind the grunts.
"Sure! A present is a great way to break the ice and say 'no hard feelings!' Can you think of anything they might like?"
Her guest considered the question deeply, then brightened and held out a hand, palm up. A tiny flame suddenly danced there.
Pinkie examined the flame for a moment. "Well... fire's not a bad gift, but it's more of a 'let's go burn this bridge that neither of us like' kind of gift. You'll probably want to give him something that's good for any occasion."
More pondering, then another possibility occurred, which they explained with a series of excited hoots.
The pony clapped her hooves. "Ooo, that's a great idea! I'm sure he'll love it!" She held out the teapot. "Would you like some more?"
Her guest nodded and held out their cup with one rubber-clad hand.
The sound of movement drove Spy awake. There was someone coming up the stairs to his all too empty plateau, someone big.
He lifted his head in time to see Cerberus loping carefully onto the plateau, a small cage carried in his center mouth. He laid it down very gently some distance away from Spy, then lowered himself to the ground and watched them.
Spy and Cozy Glow sat staring at each other for several minutes, the latter clearly working up the confidence to speak. He gave her that time. He'd give her all the time she needed.
"Did..." she began finally, "...did I ever tell you about cutie marks?"
He nodded. "They're... magical representations of your personal talent. You get them as a kind of rite of passage in your youth."
"But I didn't tell you how I got mine." She looked away. "I've never told anypony."
He simply watched her, forcing any speculation down. He'd hear her out, without judgement. "I'm listening."
Slowly, painfully, she began to speak.
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Gotta say I really like the idea cozy forced her way into tartarus make more sense then in the show where they threw her in and forgot about her
a wham line, followed by a cliffhanger teasing a big reveal
damn
ahh yes, only Giant blue Alicorn have the right to spy on other creatures dream
Do any other Team Fortress characters appear in this story?
11076880
To be fair, while there is a bit of a double standard there, it makes a lot of sense. Luna has a generally pretty good track record regarding dreams and unlike the reader she can't peak into other peoples minds and doesn't know spies intentions.
Honestly this fic is portraying both the princesses as generally wise but a bit flawed and blind to their own biases, which is pretty good for immortal rulers.
Wait what that thing is here oh fuck everything is gonna be on fire
11076845
Makes a hell of a lot more sense when you take into consideration the nonsense that another did, and only got a slap on the wrist and then made a princess's student. The dissonance is just too great...
what the fuck, a fic about the spy and something to do with my little pony???
not sure what emotions i'm feeling but sign me the fuck up
11076923
Yes, all of them.
11076957
H̸͕͇̹̋͆ą̸̈́͐p̸͍̹̀͠p̵̧͓͊̀̉i̸͍̘̽n̸̝͉͌e̴̲̦̿s̶̢̭̑̾s̴̭̪̄͒͝ ̵̜̔͗ḃ̵̺̱͕͒ü̴̳͛͗b̴̡͇̑̈́b̷̧̿̐̆l̴̘̫͇̍́̅ḙ̷̜͖̀̏̓s̴̗̘̒͘!̷̫̓
11076923
Other than the dozen or so that showed up already? (not sure how to count red and blue variants)
11076964
HELL YEAH!!! HEAVY LIKES STORY WITH SPY AND PUNY PONY PRINCESS!!!
lmao yeah it sure isn't huh
I still can scarcely believe how you've managed to transform such a crackfic concept as "TF2 Spy and Tirek bodyswap" into such an emotionally deep and compelling narrative with fantastic characterization and subtle layers of character growth. And it only gets better with every chapter.
There there, Pyro, it will work out, have faith!
Spy stop being so deep! You too Cozy!
Still, good on him for shedding light on the horror that is isolation. How be it an assassin is having such positive impact?!
I am very much looking forward to your take on Cozy's Cutie Mark.
She's such a fascinatingly cunning character, and you've done an amazing job with everyone's characterization and fanon lore throughout this entire story.
Also:
c.tenor.com/bvCVKE2tf0wAAAAd/you-magnificent-bastard-i-salute-you-apu.gif
Let's admit it, that was Batman level genius.
Wait Pinkie meets Marasmus?
i.redd.it/cbbhswr1hhqz.png
11077242
Does measmus wear rubber gloves?
I THINK NOT!
I'm guessing pyro or engineer
This makes sense, actually, that he’d always be having an Equestrian lense over the world around him that colors everything happy.
11077387
I thought about him because of chaotic magic,etc adding up how he is there.
So probably a mask.So that leaves Pyro
And fire.... yeah
I thought that it was some magical fire,etc that's why Marasmus
excited hoots ?
I don't think Pyro makes hoots thought
I wouldn't name his mublimings through the mask a hoots.
Pyro and Pinkie is everything. Love it.
I realized it here, hehehe. Let's go Pyro!
Pyrovision is Equestria, I knew it :P
I have honestly loved the idea of what cozy glow as a character could be under the right conditions and with spy there you really bring that out of her. I love how you characterize theses characters and put this story together and look forward to reading more.
Why didn't I expect this?
I absolutely fell in love with this chapter!!! Don’t even know where to begin!
Lol that tea party scene tho!
And I love how Spy mentions Scout there- damn I am so excited for more and I can’t wait to see Cozy’s backstory!
(My favorite moment also had to be when Luna started taking Spy’s disguises away and there was just another layer of disguises underneath, especially when Spy’s own team members made an appearance!)
This is amazing and Spy is just 'completely' Spy in it. It's also amazing to think that we only really have this Spy thanks to some of the last story content posted for TF2. Though that goes for all the mercs, they all really got good character development in the last arc of comics. (aside from engineer, but we know what he's all about pretty much)
It does bring up more 'how does magic work in tf2' thoughts though. Given all the mercs can spell cast, does that mean they all have some level of magical ability, or is it just the specific phrases that make it happen? I prefer a mix of both to be honest.
Dad Spy is best Spy.
Great way to try and explain why Cozy was sent to Tartarus. Makes far more sense then in the show where they just tossed her in there. I'm willing to bet that its her cutie mark that makes her want/consider herself to be such a villain.
loved the story... Too bad it looks ded
11142564
Not even two months and it's declared dead? You must be new here. Don't worry, it'll be back once word supply chain issues have cleared up.
11142744
O shit I misread that year counter mb
Does the TF2 part take place in 1968 like in game or is the time just weird?
11153267
Timelinewise, it's post-MVM and pre-comics (the actual series that we're never going to get the last issue for), so we're talking about late 1971. Though careful accuracy has not been a priority in that regard; if Valve doesn't bother, why should I?
11153302
Was curious because it said something about spy in 1987 and then there was that thing about the holiday zones so I just wanted to know what was up.
11154156
Well, the 1987 bit was just a throwaway gag of something that would happen in the future, outside the scope of this fic. As far as the holiday zones go, there are Halloween maps, and servers that can have Halloween mode active any time of the year, so it's just another throwaway joke used to torment Tirek.
Just caught up with the fic, and I have to say, i'm loving it. Spy is captured expertly, Tirek's trials are entertaining, and i'm excited to see how Spy gets them out of this one. This is a true masterpiece.
I love your fic, and I can't wait to read more - just so we're clear on that front. But I just can't resist speaking my mind on this. Maybe I just love the debate it could spawn too...
People say Cozy Glow is relatively innocent - a child. Unable to judge situations herself, and she should not be blamed for what she has done. To this I can only say -- really? She's a murderous sadist who even made damn Chrysalis flinch at the suggestion that they murder their prisoners. She reveled in the thought of killing them all (and in fact, only Chrysalis stopped her) - likely in a painful way, as she wanted to "crush her enemies to dust" and "laugh as they scream". This includes a barely pubescent child she was going to murder in this way. Should I mention that one of her personal belongings was a cracked child's skull? She may have done this before. Though IDK if Spy would care about her being a murderer...
Not only that, but it was her recommendation which convinced Tirek and Chrysalis to nuke half of damn Canterlot. The other two followed her lead on that, it was her influence. I mean, think about it in Earth terms - it's like a five year old kid getting access to uranium with two criminals (who may not even be going for flashy mass-destruction) and saying "Hahaha let's blow up half of New York!" - and then ACTUALLY DOING IT. AND GRINNING. Would that kid not deserve to endure the full weight of the law? That is beyond any level of sympathy I could have for her being a child, and puts her into 'irredeemable monster' territory. Like, genuinely, she was a bad influence on the other two. Put them in a room, and i'd worry about Cozy corrupting their minds to make them worse.
And it doesn't even end there. I mean, you touch on it in the fic, but... In the short time her plan operated, who knows how many thousands, tens of thousands? More? Ponies died because of her. Her bodycount likely exceeds the Spy's by some margin, even at this point in the timeline. Why? Hospitals. Equestria uses magic for EVERYTHING, there is no way you can convince me that scores of ponies in critical care during her stunt didn't die (which would likely create quite a vocal group in favor of her being in Tartarus). Not to mention, ponies use magic to even preserve their food - so downright famine isn't out of the question, too.
We look at events in Equestria more 'gently' because it isn't real, and because it's got this 'storybook world' look to it. But honestly, the world of Equestria is a dark and dangerous place which makes our own world look like the idyllic fairy-tale, with sapient monsters capable of causing (and willing to cause) horrible slow death and worse hiding in the undergrowth, carnivorous worms which exceed the most deadly creatures on earth digging around underground (and you never know where they are), and breeds of spider that would make Australia blush. You never know if your friend is a changeling spy (har har) waiting to get you alone, and there seems to be a strong black market for powerful enchanted objects - likely with significant organization behind it. Entire species are born brainwashed and helpless to an ancient scepter of unknown origin, and even if you somehow evade all of that, here comes the Storm King's battalions to harvest your organs. Not to even mention the disaster between G4 and G5.
11177408
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
11177671
Yeah, well, I feel like the comments of someone else's fic isn't the place to air your grievances against a character other than in the context of that fic. There's Reddit/4chan groups for that, if nothing else. I will say, though, that your position that a child should be held to the same standards and given the same punishment as an adult is counter to one of the main themes of Tolerated. We don't know in canon why Cozy Glow jumped on the villain train, but we shouldn't (and mostly don't) expect kids to fully understand the consequences of their actions. There's room for empathy there.
11177837
The problem was that you were bringing up things that (A) have not happened at this point and (B) we cannot know the context behind because they were never fully explored. The only crime as of the end of S8 we know she committed was the magic drain. (And as I pointed out in the story, we really don't know how she thought that was going to help her attain her goals.)
Plus, just to go by MLP itself, reformation is usually an option. If S9 hadn't been handled so poorly, we could've had an ending where the villains grudgingly joined society in some way; I thought that was where we were going after Frenemies, where the trio would band together against Grogar at the end. We don't know that Cozy Glow was irredeemable.
Your position seems to be that because the consequences of her actions were broader than smaller crimes, she must be more cognizant of those consequences. That's literally the opposite of how things work. It's easier to intuit consequences when they'll happen to yourself or those around you than if they'll happen to someone miles away that you'll never meet. Besides, you're bringing up the fact that we've never had a case like that as an indication that a case like that would be handled differently, and I'm not sure how you're reaching that conclusion.
11177957
Okay, I don't really want to shut this down, but I'm shutting this down. You keep assuming intentions that haven't been proven and sticking with a position I feel you cannot support outside of being your own opinion. This continues to be mostly your crusade against Cozy Glow. Take it somewhere else.
11177985
Alright alright. Thanks for the discussion though :)
How's it coming along?
Great work!
11192322
Current plan is to finish my other WIP, Neigh's Anatomy, before starting the work on Cozy's story. NA isn't too far from being done, but my writing options/time have decreased, so no promises.
This is great, I honestly didn’t think this kind of story (with these characters in particular) would work as much more than a comedic one shot but you proven me wrong at every turn.
Pyro in Pinkie's dream. It has been worth to wait.
This... THIS is why I love, and will never stop, reading fanfictions. I binge read this all in a few hours and I have zero regrets. Cannot wait to hear about Cozy's cutie mark. She's always been one of the most interesting villains to me, mainly due to the mystery of her past.