Guitars, Conductors, and Coda
I spat dirt from my mouth, trying to disentangle my legs. "Again."
"Sure!" came the cheerful response. I had ingratiated myself to the Element of Loyalty at some point in this exercise, oh great joy of joys. By the time I got to my hooves, the blur of color began again and this time I managed to get a hoof out- and I flipped over the length of my foreleg in yet another movement that I was only able to determine was vaguely different before I crashed face-first into the grass and had my legs bound.
"Rainbow Dash!"
"What?! He went for a grab, I just reacted!"
I stood up, sore but thankfully not dizzy. "It... is true. I attempted to interfere with the lesson and have received an education." Here I shook my foreleg, which had gone rather numb- and now hurt. "Specifically, 'do not do that'."
"Ain't much training if you can't tell what's going on. Slow down, RD."
"Hey, he's picking up on the basics, this is going great. It's what you expect when you learn takedowns from the best." Pride burned through the mare, and once again I steeled myself at the flow of ego. Her pride wasn't even completely unwarranted; she was taking down a guardspony without breaking a sweat. "Alright, here we go!"
I braced myself for the blur, and was shocked when the pegasus crashed to the ground with a loop of rope around her barrel, and watched in mute confusion as the apple farmer hauled her in with perhaps less speed but greater determination, tying her friend's legs with a few well-wrapped coils. Now that was a trick.
Rainbow Dash blinked, tried to wriggle free, and then had the grace to look abashed. "But I've learned from the very best?"
"Flattery ain't gettin' you untied," the farmer announced, finishing her loops with precision and care. "Y'all go getting too bold and somepony's gonna get hurt. He ain't learnin' nothin, you're just showin' off. And y'all need to understand that ain't nopony but Pinkie Pie catching up to Rainbow Dash." She finished, giving me a stern glare. "Ain't no shame in accepting you ain't meant for some things."
Grass-stained and thoroughly cowed at the prospect of keeping pace with the Pink Demon, I could only lower my head. I was a sight... and the Element of Honesty was absolutely right. Hoof to hoof, I could not hope to keep up with anypony as blindingly fast as the Element of Loyalty. But... a stunning spell to her smug face would have probably worked at any given time. I tamped down the thought. This had been educational. It was unlike me to be bitter.
I refused to think more on that emotion.
"C'mon, sugarcube. Promised you dinner and Ah intend to see you collect."
"What about me?" Rainbow wiggled, trying to loosen the ropes to little avail.
"Reckon you need to cool your head. If y'all need help, y'all can just ask."
From the scowl on Rainbow's face, I expected that would be a very cold day in Tartarus.
The library was surprisingly large for a small town. I had heard it was a tree, but I had not expected it to be quite so... unusual-looking. Various enormous knots had been turned into a windows, there was a balcony coming off of one, and it all looked rather lopsided. One exceptionally ugly branch stuck out past the foliage at the top, and somepony had mounted a telescope on it. I could not say it was well-designed, but at least it was being put to decent use.
I had to admit, there was something vaguely cannibalistic about using a living tree to hold books, however. Using the living body of a thing to preserve its dead relations. Order, that was a grim thought. I strove to move past it, and finished a delicious morsel of apple pie. It helped that the innards of the tree were far too bright and cozy to be a proper mausoleum.
Twilight didn't even appear to notice me, engrossed in some new book. Deeply engrossed, I realized; her lips were moving, a habit her brother shared when he was committing pages to memory. I was loathe to bother her, but this was part of Ponyville.
"Pardon me, but do you happen to have a copy of 'Diamond Buff's Guide to Perfect Polishes'?" I hoped she would. It was an old manual, but it was considered the most informative for creating one's own glazes.
"Sorry, we have four copies that have been in circulation for five years now, three of which are overdue and one of which had only half of a library card filled out, so it's just missing. I've put out notices for all of them but honestly, if they've been gone that long they're lost in someone's attic or their personal collection. If you fill out the form by the card catalog, I'll send a letter as soon as one makes its way back or I can get another copy on loan." She flipped a page. "It's probably out of print, so I'm afraid that isn't very likely."
I sighed and nodded. "I was afraid that would be the case."
"Feel free to browse~!" the purple protege cheerfully offered. "We do have a copy of Platinum Sheen's 'Gold Gilding Guide for Spectacular Ceramics'."
My interest piqued. The only copy of that we had in Canterlot had been, unfortunately, dropped in molten gold. I was to understand that contents were fine, saved by spell of preservation at the last moment, but now the book itself was considered a work of art and thus, not available to the public. I had always been interested...
"I believe I will. Thank you, Twilight."
"Idol?"
I turned, recognizing the voice of her sibling immediately. "Ah, Spike. How are you finding Ponyville?"
"Me? Great, but what are you doing here? Is..." the dragonling cut his eyes at Twilight, then motioned me down close. "...you know who, visiting?"
I would not have considered this tactful, but the Royal Messenger was as happily oblivious as ever with a new book. "Not immediately, no, but she does have vested interest in her apprentice. I am simply visiting to ensure everything is settled after the last incident."
Spike made an odd clicking noise with his tongue, flashed me a claw-sign that he'd picked up from some griffin ambassador. "Gotcha. Everypony's cool. I mean, the ursa didn't cause that much trouble."
"There was an ursa? In town?"
"Oh, yeah, Snips and Snails woke up a baby ursa- wait, you meant the thing with the dragon smoking out town?"
"I was actually talking about Zecora-"
Spike started snickering, eyes lighting with mirth. "You should have seen it. Twilight's horn was all floppy, Rarity's coat was out of control, and Flutterguy...! Applejack was so small you could put her in a bucket-"
"Spii-iiike, we're in a library-!" came Twilight's gentle admonishment from her desk.
"Sorry Twilight!" he cleared his throat, continuing in a quieter voice. "Zecora fixed everyone up, but it was pretty funny. Wish I could have gotten photos..."
"I... see. And what do you think of Ponyville so far?"
"Oh, it's great. Tons of stuff to do, I hang out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders sometimes-"
"Trying to keep them out of trouble, I assume?" Applejack had regaled me with several tales of the Crusaders' escapades, and it astounded me that the fillies, and the town, remained largely unharmed.
"Oh yeah, sure, all the time-" the youngster eagerly lied. "And then there's all of Twilight's friends... and then there's Rarity..."
I was quite taken aback by this sudden outpouring of emotion. Why, the young dragon was thoroughly smitten, but... "Rarity... the dressmaker? The unicorn?"
"Yeahhh..." Spike confirmed, dreamily. It was a wonder the little dragon didn't float off.
"...The one your sister's age," I clarified.
That knocked him out of it, and he scowled with all the fierceness he could muster. "Hey, don't make this weird, dude. There's only one Rarity, I mean. It's in the name!"
Bemused, I ducked my head. "My apologies, Spike. The young lady is fortunate indeed to have caught your eye."
"Well. I mean. She's amazing, but... I haven't, you know... told her."
Order forbid, he was half her age. At worst, that revelation would lead to a broken heart, and at best a wounded one. A few more years to harden his scales, though... I ruffled his headscales, and the dragon swatted my hoof away by reflex. "She seems to be a smart mare. She'll figure it out." And, hopefully, given time, so would young Spike.
In truth, I could hardly believe that Ponyville even had a spa. Certainly, Manehattan had them in abundance, and Canterlot had a few, but I'd never really seen the point. If I wanted a hot bath, I simply took one. But... it was supposed to be good for stress, somehow. And, if there was one thing I had acquired in abundance on this trip, it was stress. It would not do to bring it home with me.
The bell tinkled merrily upon my entry, and the proprietors cheerfully welcomed me in what I assumed to be a reasonable facsimile of a Prench accent, but without the nasal intonation typically used for all such pronunciation in Canterlot. Still, it was much less grating on the ears, and I was not about to correct them.
"Bonjour, 'allo~! Welcome to ze La~ Te~ Da~! Ponyville's premier day spa! We guarantee~ you'll be stress free~!" the pink-coated one with a blue mane sang, while the blue-coated one with a pink mane only gave me a weak smile and an abashed shrug.
"How are we to help you today, sir? I am Lotus, and this is my... musical... sister, Aloe. If you are here for ze first time, may we recommend one of our service packages?" She motioned to a list, and I eyed them curiously.
One grabbed my attention almost immediately. "The Royal Treatment?"
"But of course," Lotus agreed. "A full steam, hooficure, massage, and your choice of facial or clay bath."
I had no idea what a clay bath even was. But, I realized, if I intended to recommend a place for the princess to relax, I would have to find out. And a good roll in some mud would be rather relaxing, I decided. It had been entirely too long since I had been covered in dirt.
The clay was not what I had expected, but honestly not bad at all. Nowhere near as thick as what I traditionally worked with for pottery, but with a pleasing scent to it that left me feeling relaxed and comfortably warm, as though I were in a changeling stew. I refused to let the concept ruin this for me, but there had been too much in my head for me to truly relax. The steams were pleasant enough, but one could only sit in a hot, humid room for so long, and when it had been time for a hooficure, I had been told my hooves were almost pristine, gotten the briefest of polishes, and a somewhat embarrassed Lotus had suggested I enjoy the clays while her sister prepared for the massage. I took a deep breath and sank into the muddy embrace of the clay soup, briefly allowing my pony shape to falter and feeling the heated clay-water soak into my changeling joints, through the holes in my legs, and around my wings.
This, I decided, might actually be better than a cocoon.
Luckily, I maintained presence of mind to assume my normal form as soon as Aloe came to inform me that I could receive my massage 'whenever', though the flame of transformation had the side effect of creating a thin shell of 'changeling' out of dried clay. I took care to crush and return the clay to the bath as soon as possible, thankful it had not been noticed.
The massage, unfortunately, did nothing for me.
"Monsieur, please, you must... relax," the pink earth pony grunted, shoving her hooves into my shoulders. "This much stress, non, it is unheard of. It should not... be!" She took a deep breath and jabbed both hooves into my upper back, trying to work what she had to think were bunched muscles.
"I have been rather relaxed," I informed her, a bit testily. This had been going on for fifteen minutes, and frankly I was beginning to think 'massage' was some pony insanity. The mare was compressing my shell under my disguise, and it did not feel particularly pleasant or unpleasant, simply... a thing that was happening. Her focus on my back made breathing difficult, and I did not like it.
"Hup!" she responded, and I found the spa pony trodding upon my back with all fours. Again, not an improvement. "I do not understand, zis is... you are so tense, it is frightening."
I should have never relaxed my shifted shape in the baths. Foolish, really. And I was feeding upon her stress, which was, if anything, making me stressed, which I was sure was only making her more stressed. Finally, I sighed. "I can think of something that may help."
"At zis point, I shall do anything," Aloe swore, and I finally smiled.
"Oui! Oui! Right 'zere, is magnifique~!"
"Aloe! What in Celestia's name!?"
The spa pony froze "Lotus! Zis... zis is not what it looks like! Ooh, s'il vous plaît, do not stop!" Her body arched.
I obliged, continuing to focus on the pony's back. This was very informative. I was pushing at one section of her spine, felt a hint of pain, followed by vast relief as she slumped back into the table. I made a note of it, through an almost drunken haze. This was far better than receiving a massage.
This only served to outrage her sibling further. "You are getting a massage from one of our clients!" She sputtered, face reddening. Her accent seemed to have slipped slightly. Her voice was very pretty, regardless.
"'e has magic hooves!" Aloe announced. "And it is like 'e can find every tense muscle and hurt, and with just a bit of instruction, it goes away~ my hocks have never felt so good."
The pastel blue mare shook her head in open-mouthed despair. "But... Mr. Hooves, I deeply apologize, this is absolutely unprofessional of her-"
"I disagree. I find I do not much enjoy being on the receiving end of this." I placed my hooves to Aloe's shoulders, twisting gently until there was a soft pop and a gasp. Excellent. "But I have always been at my most relaxed when working with my hooves. I found this to be wonderful."
"But... but...!"
"But... I believe my time to be over. This was an experience I am not likely to forget, and I thank you both for it." I bowed to the blue mare, gave the pink one a pat, and began trotting out. Still, I caught a faint words as the door closed.
"Sister... sister... we must hire a stallion. A big strapping one, mares will pay for this, I promise you-"
Ponyville Spa was receiving a thorough recommendation. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt this good. I would return to Canterlot thoroughly physically refreshed. I imagined Celestia would greatly enjoy it.
I could not wait to get back to work.
Stats
Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
993 users online
184,043 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ah, so that's how Roid Rage gets hired. Big McLargehuge was kind of oddity to see as a masseuse. But I'm sure that this job will be just fine for Snowflake if the Wonderbolts don't work out for him.
Wish this fic updated more frequently....
Man, Idol must feel like Dash has been beating on him for a month!
Man, Idol is just refreshingly adorable.
9076294
Hehehe. I love all those names you just said (Snowflake being the favorite)
However, I'm thinking that, based on his kind of service in the massage department, that he'd be more of a "physical therapist" than a masseuse, ya know?
Huh, Idol considers his Pony disguise his 'normal' form. I mean after ten years, I assume he would, but it's still strange to hear him say it.
Yup. That was great!
Being able to work things like clay has more than one meaning , and maybe that cutie mark is growing on him. Adopted or not.
Out of all the things in this fic, this surprised me the most. I believe this is as close to family love we've ever seen from Idol.
Also, I see a sudden upswing in love brought in from a whole horde of Changeling masseuses and masseurs.
Idol 'Magic' Hooves. Noice.
9076372
I imagine with Idols personality he has a soft spot for younglings
HAH! I do enjoy seeing Rainbow get knocked down a peg when she needs it.
The coldest.
HOW?! How do you fuck up that badly?!
Trying is the key word.
Rare doesn't mean Unique.
Oh, god I love Idol.
HAH!
No, he's Idol Hooves.
Probably.
Freaking workaholic.
Definitely enjoying the fic so far.
Only thing I feel the need to say is that "y'all" is not used when talking to one person specifically, but for soeaing to a group of people. It is short for 'you all'.
I know this because I recall my ol' German class where I learned about the word "ihr", which is used in the same context.
But otherwise keep up the good work.
Idol seems to have a gift for frustrating professionals. First that poor dentist, then the hypnotist, and now a masseuse. I fully expect he'll get sent to a hospital one of these days and leaving the doctor a frothing lunatic.
9076462
The point of y'all is that it's never used properly. It's not a proper word. As the saying goes, the plural of "y'all" is "all y'all."
Huh, I would never have thought of a Changeling using their emotion reading to become a master masseuse in minutes.
Methinks Idol's reputation as a lothario is about to get another boost.
9076294
YEEEEAAHHHH!
...Oops, sorry. Don't know what came over me. Carry on. >^_^<
Thanks for the update!, needed the laugh
9076471
Actually, "all y'all" is used when talking to a larger group of people, while "y'all" could be used to refer to a group within the larger group.
nice update. i love how well he handles these situations even if he is viewing them from a very different point of view.
And thus the legend of Idol Hooves continued to grow.
9076608
Georgian man here. Y'all can and is often used singularly, regardless of what's 'proper'. All y'all can refer to a large group, or just two people sitting on your couch drinking YOUR beer. "All y'all best git! Them's mine!"
Y'all, in any form, can be used to speak about any number of persons.
I don't know why but there is something hilarious about this sentence.
I admit that I never thought of it that way.
Oooo, high praise indeed.
And Idol's Day Off (kind of, well, as much as he'll take) comes to an end (?). Maybe. :D
9076304
You can't rush art.
9076462
If you go south enough in the US, "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
I am loving this story more and more with each chapter. Well done ^^
Also, bloody brilliant with the massage thing. Empathy on a changeling level can make so many things easier/more efficient....though I shudder to imagine a changeling lawyer now
9076701
But we in the discord try to hurry him up as much as we can anyway.
9076409
It seems to be a changeling thing, if one of his other stories is any indication.
Thanks, vdrake77.
I hope you get as much delight writing this and sharing it as we do reading it.
Idol Hooves can't help but seduce mares left and right.
Oh, Idol discovered he is good at giving massage... well, Topaz will be a very happy mare in the future. Top of the line, free, massage, no way she will say no to this.
And somehow it will end up in a situation where someone will walk-in on them and cause endless embarrasment for Topaz.
Idol, you dissin' the library? THE library? The one Ponyville structure that fans would love to have back the MOST?
9076462
That's how y'all is supposed to be used, true, but in practice the rules are less stringently followed. After all, "ain't" is supposed to be a contraction of "am not" (much in the same way as "won't" is a contraction of "will not"), but that doesn't stop people from saying "you ain't".
9076637
9076944
Huh, you learn something new every day.
English is a strange language.
Absolutely loving Idol's adventures in Ponyville. It's great to see his continued interactions with the Mane 6.
One minor thing... I don't think Aloe or Lotus have "Prench" accents. (They seem to switch between which one has an accent, too, so... yeah.) But if they have one, it's typically Eastern European. Not a big deal, though.
Just the same, Idol continues to muck about things in hilarious ways. Having him give a massage instead of receiving one as a means of stress relief is classic. Also...
Oh, I see what you did there.
bit.ly/2K5vos7
Nice work as always!
This made my day, thank you.
It is the honest truth that a day does not go by without me thinking about this story.
Nice
i would love to see a scene where idol revels the "royal messenger' story is reveled to the mane six
9076978
-James Nicoll
9076978
English is not a language, it’s three sub-languages sitting on top of one another wearing a trench coat and hat.
9077357
Your on the right track! But you neglected to mention that English also spends it's free time shaking down other languages for additional words, phrases, parts of speech, & sentence structure!
ANOTHER CHAPTER WOOOOO! As always it was really good and extraordinary amusing.
9076987
If anything, I think they're supposed to be Swedish, because "Swedish spa" is something of a stereotype or trope in Western media I've seen.
9076817
Maud should be happy too.
Idol...
What you lack in social skills, you have in considerable excess in practical skills. He is the epitome of a changeling drone.
9077342
I like that almost as much as mark's version in the maretian
Wow... Idol Hooves is REALLY leveling up his Husbando skills.
Yes! New chapters! Every time my feed shows an update I hope it's one of yours. But no rush on when they come out. Life takes priority over ponies.
I can't wait to hear Idol's report to Celestia. Knowing him, his report will be glowing; glowing like a balefire bomb going off. (He does have an interesting ability to choose interesting words and phrases that seem to imply the wrong things at times. :)