//------------------------------// // Chapter 55 - Pondering The Future // Story: Pandemic // by ASGeek2012 //------------------------------// To say that Kevin gave Heather a lot to think about after they last spoke would be an understatement. She had already started questioning what exactly she was and what she was expected to do even after her transformation had completed, while so many other ponies seemed more content with whatever roles they had come up with in starting this new community. She had first tried assisting as any earth pony might, as she appeared to have the strength that the others exhibited, but she had no drive to til the soil or manage the land. The Earth did not speak to her as it did for the other earth ponies. Even when Kevin had hinted that she may be able to do something unique, it wasn't even to help her fellow ponies. That had started her questioning. It didn't help that she often liked to spend the early evenings in the company of the Tanner family, and even some of them were starting to question circumstances behind these changes. It made Heather's own situation seem more unclear, and even the dream she received the night before requesting her help and explaining what would happen had not really resolved the basic issue, other than giving her a name for what she was: a crystal pony. She had agreed to help, of course. Just as she had told Kevin, she had dedicated her life to helping people. What difference did it make whether they were pony or human? Back in her days as Kevin's assistant, she wouldn't have even considered refusing to help people merely because of their skin color; this seemed no different. Yet she couldn't help but feel a little frightened. She had been assured that this would not hurt, but where she did not completely understand exactly what was going to happen, that was a huge unknown to contend with. She was grateful when her friends stood close to her side for support. Only Carol stayed away out of deference to the safety of her unborn foal, but even then she was told it likely wouldn't have harmed him. She had wished to have another crystal pony beside her, but the only other one in the community had been temporarily relocated to assist in the counterspell distribution. They were told only approximately when it would start, thus when it happened, it was almost literally a bolt out of the blue. Heather just barely saw the incoming magic in time, rocketing towards her with such speed and ferocity that she doubted she could have stepped out of the way had she known it was coming or been of the mindset to chicken out at the last moment. She expected some sort of noise, like a thunderous boom, or a crack of lightning. Instead, all she heard was the collective gasp of the ponies around her. She felt something like what had happened when Sarah had embraced her before they had fully transformed, a sense of power or energy flowing through her, but vastly magnified. From the way it had been described to her, she was merely a relay point, a way to both distribute the cure for ETS over a wide area and project it to the next crystal pony. Heather's eyes suddenly snapped open wide, and she felt lighter. Soon she couldn't feel her hooves touching the ground, but this did not alarm her. She was too utterly fascinated by what she was feeling in her body and seeing in her head. The energy flowing through her was no longer just a cipher. It had purpose and meaning she could sense. It was not in the way some unicorns understood it as runes and spells; it was far more basic than that. She sensed something on the periphery of a construct that had no words. A weave, or a tapestry, or perhaps this was what physicists were talking about when they mentioned things like the quantum foam. Whatever the explanation, the magic flowing through her was part of that, and she could sense other magic in great abundance beyond it. Heather didn't quite understand her abilities to know exactly what that magic was, only that she could reach out and draw it into herself. She felt the burning need to do just that; it would augment the magic pouring into her which now sought escape. She could boost it. That had to be good. It felt right. The spell burst out of her in a dome of light which rushed away from her so fast that it was already at the unofficial boundary of the community before she got a good look at it. Yet that was only part of the magic still inside her. She channeled some more of that distant, unknown magic into herself and into the arcing beam of light that launched from her and almost to the horizon before she knew what was happening. And almost as soon as it started, it was over. Her hooves met the ground, and she let out a long sigh of relief. Only then did she hear the cheering of her fellow ponies, at least those who were not immediately surrounding her, as they were too busy staring at her in astonishment. Heather swung her head around. More ponies behind them started to gasp and stare as well. "What is it? What's wrong?" "Heather ..." one of her friends said in a hushed and awed voice. "Look at yourself!" Heather craned her neck, and she was struck speechless. As if she had undergone another transformation, she now appeared much more like her name suggested. She was living crystal, bright, shiny, and sparkling. Sunlight refracted through her, throwing dozens of tiny rainbows along the ground and across the fur of the other ponies. "You look amazing!" somepony cried, and a chorus of agreement rose around her as they broke out of their initial shock. Heather flicked her tail, scattering even more rainbows on the ground. She lifted a hoof and examined it. Light played off it in prismatic display as well. Bob stepped forward. "Was that supposed to happen, Heather?" Heather kept staring at her hoof as she replied, "I'm not sure. I think so." She set down her hoof and looked towards Bob. "I think this is temporary in nature, though." Bob smiled. "Still, it looks nice." Heather turned to face him. "Did it work? Did I do it right?" "I saw more domes of light off in the distance," Bob explained. "So it looks like it's working. I guess this means there won't be any more humans turning into ponies." Heather had been told that this was the means by which they had hoped to cure ETS in those who had yet to transform, but hearing it and doing it weighed differently in her mind. She had used some sort of new talent to actually propagate a worldwide cure. She could have only dreamed of doing something so critically important back when she was a human nurse. "Bob, you seem to know more about magic than anypony," Heather said, her voice tinged with desperation. "Something happened to me, and I don't just mean the shiny new coat. Something I did helped this directly. I wasn't just a relay." Bob paused. "I don't think I quite know enough about magic to talk intelligently about that. What happened?" "It was like I found some sort of other magic out there and drew it in and ... well, changed it somehow." "Maybe you should talk to Kevin when he gets back," said Bob. "He might be able to put you in touch with somepony who can talk to you about this." "I really hope so, this is important to me," said Heather. "I've been struggling with what I'm supposed to be doing now. Maybe this will give me some sort of clue." "He's always done what he can, so I'm sure he'll be able to do something for you." Sarah drew close to her. "I'm sure you'll get this figured out." Heather craned her neck and glanced at Sarah's haunches. "I see you have already." Sarah smiled faintly. Upon her haunches was her cutie mark, a pottery jug with a crack down it's side and partially buried in dirt. "I actually had it figured out already, I just hadn't realized it until recently." Heather stared at Sarah's cutie mark for another moment. Rumors had been flying about that getting one of them was a sort of final step, that the transformation was not really complete without it. Ponies seemed to feel a need to acquire one, though it varied in terms of how adamant they were about it. Some seemed not to be concerned over it at all, preferring to take their time to determine where their talents lay. Heather could count herself among them now. She was not in a rush anymore to understand what would become of her. She wanted options; getting a cutie mark now, she felt, would close those off to her. Seeing the big light show earlier had been a nice break in the routine, but it had not relieved Jenny of her burden of work. There was still simply a lot to do to get the settlement to where it could sustain itself on more than just native plants, flowers, and grasses. After her transformation completed, Jenny could sense the same connection to the Earth that her fellow earth ponies could. With a little concentration, she could even make shoots grow, though not with the same aplomb as her father, who at the moment seemed to be the best at it out of any of them. Having it explained to her exactly how everything had come about, and hearing how her mind had been messed with changed things only in her own head; she still had to help with everything else. The stream that her sister and the other pegasi had made needed a few more adjustments. Where the unicorns were busy helping with the construction of a building to house grain, it had been left to the earth ponies to gather some more rocks to shore up a wall that diverted water towards what would be the first crop field. Jenny rolled what had to be the twentieth such rock or so up to the wall. By now she was panting lightly and really wanted a bath. As if sensing her need, Harold said as she approached, "That should be the last one we need for now." "Good," Jenny muttered as she turned around and bucked it the remaining distance. Harold lifted a fore-hoof and neatly stopped the rock before it could hit the wall. "You okay, Jenny?" Jenny turned back around. She opened her mouth to say something, looked at her father's concerned face, and aborted her original reply. "No, I'm fine. I just need a break." "I'm sorry if I worked you a little too hard," said Harold. "No, it's not ..." Jenny trailed off, then shook her head. "Never mind. Yeah, I'm just tired, that's all. I'll be back later." "Sure thing." Jenny could tell by the tone of her father's voice that he didn't believe her. He knew she was hiding something. By then, Jenny had told him everything about her suppressed memory thanks to Sunset, but that was it; any other revelations she had come to she had kept to herself. Jenny thought briefly about seeking out James. Even if he didn't understand her completely or had no advice, he was a good listener. Jenny liked him, but didn't know whether she liked him in the same way that she was sure James liked her. Their relationship was nothing like what seemed to be developing between Bob and Tina; the mutual feeling there was obvious to anypony who took the time to look. Just what she needed, more uncertainty in her life. In a way, she felt like she had reversed roles with her sister. Despite some additional introspection, Laura appeared determined to continue in her role as a weather-controlling pegasus, gaining purpose where she had none, while Jenny had gone from having purpose -- such that it was -- to having nothing. Being alone really was not an option anymore. She had to be with somepony, not so much out of herd instinct as just to satisfy her own desire to avoid isolating herself from everypony like she had done as a human. It was just a matter of who. A moment later, the decision was answered for her. "Heya, Jenny!" Jenny turned at the sound of the high-pitched, bubbly voice. A very pink earth pony mare with rather poofy hair almost literally bounced towards her, as if her hooves were spring-loaded. Her fur was so bright in hue that it made even Jenny's pink mane seem dull. "Um, hi," Jenny said in an uncertain voice. "Have we met?" "Nope!" the pink pony chirped. "Well, actually, since we're meeting right now, you could say we have met. Oh, but not a meeting like in a stuffy conference room kind of meeting, just a meeting where we, you know, meet." She suddenly giggled. "I really love English, you can do so many funny things with the words!" At first, Jenny wondered how somepony could talk in such a strange manner, until she realized that may be exactly how Jenny had sounded to others when she immersed herself in her fantasies and described everything through that lens. "Except I don't know your name." "Oh, right! I'm Pinkie Pie." That name seemed oddly appropriate in Jenny's view. It also helped identify this mare somewhat. "You're one of the alien ponies?" Pinkie smiled. "I sure am. Betcha never thought aliens would ever look like this, huh?" Jenny had to smile faintly at that. "So what can I do for you?" "I just want to meet everypony here. Back home, I know everypony's name in Ponyville." Jenny blinked. "Ponyville? Seriously, that's the name of your home town?" "Yep!" said Pinkie. Jenny had to remember to go talk to Laura later and let her know what name not to suggest for the settlement. "Well, it's my home now, not where I grew up," Pinkie added. "Yeah, I know how that goes," Jenny said. "I was born in Grand Junction." "Oo, really? What kind of junction do they have there and why is it so grand? It must be really cool to go back to visit and see it." Jenny just barely managed not to laugh. "Uh, no, the town is named that for, um, other reasons which I don't recall right now. Sorry." Pinkie waved a hoof. "Aw, that's okay. But do you go back to visit sometimes? I know I like to go back to the family rock farm to see my parents and sisters from time to time." Jenny was about to answer the initial question when her mind picked up the unexpected word. "Um ... did you say rock farm?" "Yep," said Pinkie. "My family's been rock farmers for generations. My sister Maud is about to graduate with her rocktorate, and then her whole life will be about rocks!" She paused and looked thoughtful. "Well, really, her whole life was already about rocks, but now it'll be official!" Jenny stood in abject confusion, and not just from Pinkie's convoluted speech pattern. She glanced at Pinkie's cutie mark. Balloons? "So ... you're a rock farmer?" Jenny asked tentatively. "Oh, not at all, not anymore," said Pinkie. "Used to be, but that stopped after I got my cutie mark." "What about crop farming?" "Nope, none of that, ever." "But--" Pinkie giggled. "In fact, this really funny thing happened -- well, it's funny now, but not so much at the time -- where Twilight accidentally swapped our cutie marks around, and I got Applejack's, and, oh boy, I couldn't buck an apple tree for love nor money!" "Wait, stop," Jenny pleaded. "Back up a second. You're an earth pony back home, and you don't farm crops?" "No, I don't," said Pinkie. "And guess what, Jenny?" "What?" "Go on, guess!" Jenny managed to suppress a sigh. "Okay, fine, I see where this is going. You're telling me I don't have to farm, either." Pinkie threw up her fore-legs. "Yay, you got it! See, I told Twilight that talking to you all wouldn't be hard." "But this is different," Jenny protested. "I have to." "Why?" "How are we going to get the settlement going if I don't?" "When I left the farm, my sisters simply took over for me," said Pinkie. "And my parents make enough bits to hire additional help when they need it." Jenny sighed in exasperation. "You don't understand. I can't make it all about me anymore." "Why not?" "I don't think you have any idea how much I annoyed people when all I cared about was my own needs." "But do you like what you're doing?" Jenny suppressed her initial response and said instead, "It doesn't really matter." "Of course it matters, Jenny," Pinkie said. "Do you know why I left the rock farm?" "You already told me. You got your cutie mark, and it had nothing to do with rocks." "Well, sort of," said Pinkie. "Yeah, it's what convinced me that my future lay somewhere else, but you know what? I hated rock farming." Jenny tilted her head. "You did?" "Yeah. And I was even good at it, too! I was the only one my sister Limestone never yelled at. She's, ah, the bossy one of the family, you see." Jenny hesitated, then glanced back at the others. "You don't like farming, do you?" Pinkie asked in a more serious voice. Jenny had run out of resolve. She turned back to Pinkie and said, "No, I hate it. It's just a chore to me. I can do all these things like make plants grow, but I don't want to." "I understand that maybe the settlement here needs everypony they can get for now, but that's not going to be forever," said Pinkie. "You can do whatever you want." "That's just it, I don't know what I want." Pinkie smiled. "Neither did I! I only knew I wanted to do something other than rock farming. It wasn't until later I figured out what I really wanted." Jenny glanced at her blank haunches. "And you don't have to wait until you get a cutie mark to do something else," said Pinkie. "I didn't get my cutie mark until after I did something that was just so totally different from rock farming. I found what I wanted to do first and then just did it." Jenny could still remember some of those conversations with Laura when everything started happening. She had exasperated her sister without knowing quite how. Everything was supposed to revolve around Jenny and her desires, so naturally she had little understanding of what she was doing. Trying to blame Sunset only went so far. "I just don't want to look selfish," said Jenny in a low voice. "But you're not," said Pinkie. "Jenny, even after I knew I was going to be leaving the farm, I kept helping out. You're doing the same thing. Sometimes we have to do what we don't want for a while until we figure out what we do want. But wanting to know what we really want is not being selfish. Not liking what we're doing at the moment but knowing it has to be done for now is not being selfish, either." Jenny looked back towards her father, who was showing some other earth ponies the finer points of arranging the soil properly when seeding it. Ever since he had fully transformed, he had remained enthusiastic about the idea of returning to farming. "What about your family?" "What about them?" Pinkie asked. Jenny looked back towards Pinkie. "How did they react when you told them?" "They were sad to see me go," said Pinkie. "But they understood. In fact, you know what my father told me? He said he wished I had told him sooner how I felt about rock farming." "He did?" Pinkie smiled wanly. "I think he kinda already knew something was up with me. Parents are like that, you know, no matter what world they come from." She giggled. "I think it helped I told him after he had just enjoyed the first real party in his life." Jenny had not wanted to admit her biggest fear, that she would disappoint her father, or that it would somehow cause a rift between them. She didn't want to damage the relationship they now had, something she had wanted for such a long time. That it had been originally built off her Sunset-induced need for fantasy didn't even really matter to her. She tried to tell herself that Harold would be the last one to be upset with her considering how he had a similar situation with his own father, but that was more convincing when Jenny thought farming itself had been the central issue. And yet her father knew something was going on. Jenny couldn't hide it from him forever. Jenny took a deep breath. "Okay, then, how about this? What if what I want turns out to be, well, not being a pony anymore?" "It's kinda hard for me to answer that," Pinkie said. "Since I've been a pony all my life, and you don't look any different from ones back home. But, then again, things are different here. There are things that can happen here that can't back home. So, really, anything you can do here is fair game." Jenny nodded slowly. She had no idea if she would ever go that route, as it still felt natural to be in pony form despite her recent revelations on how she got there. She simply wanted her options open. "If it helps any, I don't think you need to go as far as telling them you might want to be human again," said Pinkie. "But I think you do need to tell your parents how you feel about farming. They'll understand." Jenny wasn't worried about her mother, not after Sarah had received her cutie mark. Jenny almost envied her in a way. "It's more my father I'm worried about, but, yeah, I guess you're right." Pinkie smiled and pulled Jenny into a brief hug. "Aww, I'm glad I helped. Hey, you know, my friend Dashie was talking about wanting to train pegasi here, and Applejack was talking about wanting to give the earth pony farmers some advice. Maybe I can do something for ponies who don't know what they quite want to do yet." "There is something I don't get, though," Jenny said. "You said you had tried farming but couldn't do it. Don't you still have the basic abilities even if you don't use them?" Pinkie giggled. "Jenny, I've discovered I have magic that's all my own. Just because life hands you something doesn't mean you can't change it. Maybe you'll be like me and discover magic that's unique to you." She smiled. "Or maybe you'll become human again and design the next big tech gadget or something. Who knows?" Jenny smiled. For the first time in the past few days, the future didn't seem quite as daunting to her. "Thanks for talking to me, Pinkie. You really did help." Despite working hard at whatever task the hospital staff gave her, Eileen did feel a twinge of guilt. Here she was enjoying the benefits of electricity courtesy of the hospital's backup generators where many in several states were without power. Had she stayed in Denver, she'd be in the dark and likely with a fridge full of spoiling food. Then again, had she never come to Lazy Pines, she probably would be on her way to becoming a pony and simply not care about the apartment anymore. From what little she could glean from the news reports on the TVs that the staff kept on in many areas, Denver had more ponies than humans now. A rumor was circulating that about half a dozen of Colorado's politicians in the United States House of Representatives and one in the Senate were ponies now as well. Like the rest of the staff, she had been warned about the incoming wave of magic, and many of them crowded around TVs to see what the news made of it. Eileen would have preferred to stick to her duties to take her mind off it, but some of the other staff had insisted she take a break. Apparently, more people at the hospital than she had realized appreciated her volunteering to help; they had lost far more staff than they had let on. It came and went so fast that Eileen would have doubted it had actually happened had it not been for the small cheer raised by the other members of staff. It was little more than a wall of light that zipped through the building as if it had no substance. Eileen felt nothing when it passed through her. "How the hell do we even know if it worked?" Eileen said after the initial mirth died down. "Sandra had a few patients moved here who would be showing the first symptoms of ETS soon," said Kevin. Eileen was aware of that. One of her tasks was to change bed linens of those patients. In a few cases, they still had some lingering flu symptoms, and she worried she'd get it all over again despite assurances that she should be immune to that strain now. "We were given gemstones that we can hold near them, and they would tell us if the original transformation spell had been neutralized," he continued. "Those tests are being done as we speak." Eileen was still quite astonished as to how accepting these people were of what to her still seemed like a lot of snake oil. She still glanced at herself in mirrors for any sign that her hair was starting to change color. So far, the same human she had grown used to -- sometimes sick of -- seeing for so many years continued to stare back at her. Then again, she supposed desperation does a lot to people. Certainly that was the mood of the news reporters, whose numbers had been dropping as the flu spread like wildfire. She was told that while this counterspell thing would stop new transformations, it wouldn't stop the flu, so that simply had to burn itself out. What really drove home the point of just how much this had affected the country were the reporters who themselves sported discolored hair and eyes, and in one case -- despite her attempts to hide them with a hat -- pony ears. In past times of crisis, it always seemed like news reporters enjoyed some sort of immunity, even the ones that did -- in her mind -- stupid things like stand in the wind and rain during a hurricane. She would hear of the occasional reporter or cameraman killed in the Mideast, but that did not happen often. Eileen's thoughts were pulled back from their wanderings when the reporter who was describing what she was seeing concerning the magic was interrupted by the news anchor. "Sorry to interrupt you, Sally," said the anchor as the camera cut back to him. "But we're getting an update concerning the large western power failure. As we mentioned earlier, Brad was flying by helicopter over one of the areas affected by the blackout when he saw a small rural town with most of its lights on and went to investigate. We have a live feed from him now. Brad?" The camera view shifted, and Eileen blinked. Several other staff members with her leaned in closer, likely as surprised and puzzled as she. The reporter referred to as Brad was not on camera. Instead, in the distance, two unicorns levitated something between them that looked like a piece of machinery as several humans directed them. One of the humans present appeared to be a county sheriff. "This was the scene about a half hour ago," said a voice off-camera. "A group of ponies claiming to be from a nearby settlement showed up with these diesel generators they had owned as humans. One of them claimed to be a former electrical engineer, and he instructed the humans how to hook them up." Now the reporter appeared, the lights on in a building behind him, a few ponies lingering about speaking with the humans. The sheriff's car was parked off to the side, and there appeared to be someone sitting in the back seat. The diesel generators were a faint, dull roar in the background. "This was, of course, completely unexpected but very welcome to the members of this town. While it was only a tiny gesture, as there are many millions more still in the dark, it may just be some sort of sign of what the future has to bring. We've been all speculating about the changed social landscape of America after this, even if there would be a single United States anymore. Perhaps this is encouraging, even if it almost didn't happen." "Almost didn't happen?" came the voice of the news anchor. "Yes, when the ponies first arrived, not everyone was willing to accept their help or even their presence." The camera briefly swung towards the sheriff's car before he nodded to what was likely his cameraman. "Let's roll that footage from earlier." Eileen flinched when the next scene plunged them immediately into action, the camera pointed mostly at the ground with glimpses of running feet. Shouts and exclamations in the distance became brief screams when the crack of a rifle was heard. The camera finally settled down, peeking out from behind a dumpster, as a man in overalls and carrying a rifle started shouting, "Get the fuck out of town! You're just gonna infect all of us and turn us into more of you!" He took aim, and the rifle cracked several more times. The camera swung to the side to show several ponies ducking for cover. One was a pegasus, but rather than fly off, he stuck with his companions. "We only want to help!" he cried. "I'll show you how you can help!" the man began as he leveled the rifle again. "John, get your goddamn head out of your ass!" another voice shouted, and now a second man had joined the first. "We don't have any way to get more food right now. You want what we got in our fridges to spoil?!" "Don't you go telling me what to do! You want us grazing in the fields like them?" The second man decided not to continue the argument. He grabbed the first man's gun and swung it up just as another shot was squeezed off. Two more men jumped into the fray and wrestled him to the ground as a female voice off to the side screamed, "Don't hurt him!" The scene cut out a moment later. Brad appeared again. "Apologies for the salty language, we don't have the ability here to properly censor it." The news anchor's initial comments were drowned out when an orderly burst into the room. "We've got good news! Those gemstones are showing that the ETS patients we brought in are clean. It worked!" Now a louder cheer went up that made listening to the rest of the news report almost impossible. "Go tell Doctor Marlowe at once," said Kevin. "She'll want to know right away." "Will do!" the orderly said before popping back out of the room. Eileen turned to Kevin and said with a faint smirk, "So, snake oil saves the day." "Apparently, yes," said Kevin with a small smile. Eileen jerked a thumb towards the TV. "So what did you think of this?" "Other than the gentlemen with the gun, it's encouraging. While I can't divulge all information that I am privy to for all sorts of silly secretive reasons, I can say that some thought is being put towards what things will look like when this is over." Eileen nodded. "Now I just have to figure out how I fit into this post pony-apocalypse world. I doubt I can call Denver my home anymore. It's a bit frustrating to finally want to improve myself, but the world where I could've done that is gone." Kevin leaned back in his chair and folded his hands. "In a way, I'm in the same boat. I'm not qualified to treat many of my former patients. I could move on, but I like living in Colorado too much to want to consider moving. So, I'm asking the same question: what to do now?" Eileen smirked. "You could go into veterinary medicine." Kevin chuckled, and Eileen was glad he could see the joke for what it was and not just simply correct her. She assumed maintaining the health of magical ponies was likely different from caring for animals. "I suppose I'm not so old that I can't learn something new," said Kevin. "I simply had hoped I had left the grueling days of my residency behind." "That's just it, nothing's going to be easy now," said Eileen. "For me, it never was. It shouldn't have taken this near-extinction of the human race to convince me of that. I feel like the world suffered just to drive a point into my thick skull." "I would look on it as a learning experience," said Kevin. "We all are. I daresay even your son is seeing it that way." Eileen's eyebrows rose. "Bob? I thought he would've drunk from the same Kool-aide as the rest of them." That had been her most troubling fear, that Bob had fallen for that stupid vision of pony utopia that its most ardent critics had touted as nothing less than an attempt at mass-brainwashing. One of her reasons for wanting to see Bob was to try to convince him to shake it off. The irony was not lost on her that it would be Eileen telling Bob the right way to live his life instead of the other way around. "Let's just say he's been asking the right questions concerning the original vision," said Kevin. Eileen uttered a relieved sigh and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm going to ask this again, even though I know what the answer will likely be: can I see my son?" "I believe I can arrange that." Eileen blinked. "You can??" "Assuming he wants to see you, but I imagine he would. I've already started the process. Sarah and Harold are fine with you seeing him." Eileen paused to absorb this new shock before she finally said, "I should've known to come to you about this in the first place. You really do know how to cut through the bullshit." "Admittedly, concerning the powers-that-be, it may be a case of asking for forgiveness rather than permission," said Kevin. "But despite my attempts to try to not play favorites among my patients, the Tanners hold a special place in my heart and always will." "Yeah, I have to admit, even as much as I clashed with Harry, Sarah picked a good one. Had my ex been half the man he is, maybe I could've raised Bob properly." Eileen rolled her eyes. "Eh, there I go again, blaming my problems on others." "Whereas, I had the opposite problem, where I went far too long blaming myself for my wife's death. We've both learned something from all this already." Eileen grinned. "Sarah picked a damn good doctor, too." Kevin smiled. "Thank you, I appreciate that. And like any good doctor, I will offer one last bit of advice." "And that is?" "Lose the cigarettes. They won't do you any good." Eileen snorted and laughed. "Yeah, I knew you were going to say that." Bob paused as he caught sight of his mother just before he would have emerged from the path that wound through the trees. It seemed like forever when he had last seen her despite only a few days passing, and it felt like the gulf that had existed between them had only grown wider in the interim. He watched as Eileen glanced about, looking uncertain. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, frowned, then shoved them back and folded her arms. At first, Bob had been glad nopony had insisted on an escort for him. Technically, where Eileen stood was inside the bounds of the settlement, and the ponies were allowed to roam within those borders as much as they pleased. Eileen stood in an area where he and Kelly had found some more large rocks to bring back. Bob caught movement off to the side. A Secret Service agent roamed at the border. He could hope that the man was out of earshot but wouldn't place a bet on it. When he realized that waiting was not going to make this any easier, he stepped forward. His hoof-falls must have caught Eileen's attention, as she jerked her head towards Bob. Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open for a moment before she thought better of it and closed it again. She forced herself to take on a less shocked expression and only partially succeeded. "Bob?" she finally said in a tentative voice. Bob trotted over to her and sat, craning his neck slightly to look up at her. "Hi, Mom." Eileen paused, as if simply not expecting her son's voice to come from this little green unicorn. She finally said, "Um, I guess I wasn't expecting you to be this small." "Ponies apparently have different size ratios than humans concerning age," Bob explained. "From my observation, it seems to be that ponies stay smaller until reaching their late teens and then have a growth spurt. I just happen to be slightly under that threshold while Laura is just past it." Eileen's lips tugged into a nervous smile. "Well, you certainly sound like my son. I'm glad this hasn't taken the science nerd out of you." Bob found that statement comforting. He wanted to think something more significant than just his memories had come over from when he was human. The old him was still there, just with new features. Or at least that was his goal, to separate out what had been done to him so he could look at them more objectively and decide for himself what he wanted. Eileen's gaze darted to her son's horn. She gestured to it. "So, does that thing work?" Bob glanced around and found a small branch lying on the ground nearby. His horn glowed, and he levitated the branch before him, turning it around several times. "Quite well, actually," he said before setting it back down. "All the unicorns seemed to have been wired for this basic spell." Eileen chuckled. "Spell? So are you going to try to be a great wizard now as well as a scientist?" "I actually don't know what I'm going to do yet," said Bob. Eileen considered. "Well, in a way, that's sorta good. I was worried you had the same pony commune thing going like the others." "I do feel like I need to help them, but I'd like to think it's because I want to and not because some vision told me to." "Bob, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. Can you say that at least?" Bob hesitated. "I'm actually not sure." "What do you mean?" Bob wished he could put it into words that Eileen could understand. While she was no dummy, she was also not the most intellectual person in the world. He had to put things in more basic terms for her to understand, but many aspects of his introspection were too complex for that. "I can at least say that I'm comfortable in this body, but then again, that's an inherent part of the spell that got me this way in the first place." "Yeah, but if I've learned anything in the past few days, it's this: being comfortable in your body doesn't mean you're comfortable with yourself." Bob blinked. He had not at all expected his mother to come to that conclusion. Eileen smirked faintly. "Even though you're a pony, I can tell that I just surprised you." "I didn't mean it in a bad sense, Mom." Eileen waved a hand. "Don't worry about it. I've been figuring out things about myself that first Sarah and then you tried to tell me. I think I may be finally about to do something useful with my life." Bob managed a small smile, though he could hear the undertone of pain to his mother's voice. Whatever revelation had come to her, it had affected her on a deep level. "I'm glad to hear that. It's not like ... I mean, it was always hard for us to connect, but now--" "Yeah, yeah, I know. You're a pony and I'm still a human." "I don't mean that." Eileen hesitated. "You don't?" "I'm still your son," Bob said in an earnest voice. "My species shift doesn't change that. What I meant was ... it's kind of hard to explain ... I've gone through something profound. It's made me question exactly what it means to be sapient, let alone human or pony. It's changed me in a way I don't think Sunset had intended. As profound as what you've gone through, it's not the same." Eileen was quiet for a long moment. "I won't pretend to understand that, Bob. You always did talk a little above me." "Sorry." "No, don't be. Don't ever apologize for being smart, and don't ever feel you need to dumb yourself down for others." Bob slowly smiled. "See, that's what I was afraid of," Eileen said, her voice slightly choked. "I was afraid all this took that away from you. Maybe I'm misinterpreting some of the stuff I've seen on the news, or maybe they're just being doom-sayers and buying into the mass-brainwashing idea, but that's not what I wanted for you." "Mom, could you come down here for a moment?" Eileen stepped towards him and crouched. "Why? Is there something--?" Bob threw his fore-legs around her and drew her into a hug. "There's another thing that hasn't changed: I love you." Eileen tried to make a response, but all that came out was another choked noise. She finally wrapped her arms around Bob and hugged him back, her next breath catching as a soft sob. Bob's own eyes welled up, and he squeezed them shut until the urge to cry had passed. He realized this was bittersweet; he and his mother were going to go their separate ways for a while. Bob had more introspection and self-discovery to do, his mother had her own self-improvement to work on. They were in different worlds now, and until a bridge had been built between them, it was best they focused on what mattered to each of them. Bob drew back and gave her a tremulous smile, his eyes still glistening. "Hey, at least they tell me that I don't smell like horse." Eileen chuckled weakly. "No, you don't." She lifted a hand and brushed a few strands of his mane back from his face. "And your fur and hair feels like you used a hundred gallons of conditioner on it." "I'm told that pony hair is naturally softer than most terrestrial equine hair. I guess it goes with the colorful look." "I have to ask you this, Bob," said Eileen. "Would you ever consider becoming human again if they work out how?" "I honestly don't know yet," said Bob. "I'm trying to work on exactly what defines me apart from my body. I do know that Jenny might consider it." "What about Sarah and Harry?" "Sarah has a cutie mark," said Bob in a lower voice. "Uh, what?" "That mark some ponies have on their haunches. I think it makes the transformation permanent. Laura has one, too." "Maybe I better just quit while I'm ahead," Eileen said. She gave Bob another hug. "And I love you, too, and I always will, no matter what happens." Bob hugged her back, feeling less sad about it now. Perhaps they would not see each other again for a while, but it won't be forever. In that time, he hoped he would have his own head sorted out. If not, at least he hoped he would have some interesting tales to tell.