Vignette 1 - Clandestine Offerings
It was a dark and stormy night.
Well. It was a light rain. And honestly it wasn't even that dark; the moon was shining as brightly as ever. Still, it was close enough, I thought. You didn't do these sorts of things on regular nights, right?
Most ponies didn't do these sorts of things at all. I could see why; these stupid robes were miserably uncomfortable when soaked and frankly, I imagined I looked like a drowned shadow.
But I had greater purpose here. Hesitantly I knocked at the door, marveling at the occult symbols that showed up by moonlight. I'd never noticed them by day, their faint glow ominous and forbidding. A slot opened.
"Yes?"
"Salisbury sent me." The slot slammed shut. Moments later, the door opened, revealing a hawkish griffin with red splattered over their chest feathers. I was late, apparently. A number of other hooded figures were already present, milling about. One pushed past me in his or her hurry to escape. I hadn't expected this many other ponies, though it was hard to gather exact numbers by candlelight.
The griffin pinned a scrap of paper to my robe; the number reading 'twenty-six'. "When called, come forward." I nodded, then, realizing they probably couldn't see, made a more exaggerated nod before joining the group. Most were silent; a few skittish. Having nothing better to do, I meandered towards the front.
The bits of meat and bone were horrific to look at, seeming almost to move in the flickering light. I wasn't sure I had the stomach for this sort of thing after all.
"Twenty." Intoned the head. A hooded figure approached, peering about desperately.
"One... one bagel, please."
"A... bagel." The figure at the counter sneered, derisive.
"A... a bagel... with lox." The pony corrected, voice desperate. "And plenty of cream cheese, please-"
The figure raised a talon, considering. "Ten bits." The boiled bread was offered, perfectly sliced with plenty of white and pink to go with. I nearly fainted as the pony snatched it, dropping the bits and heading to a small table in a shadowy corner. I could hear soft moans of enjoyment even as I fled back to the crowd.
It came all too soon. Tuna salad, with eggs? My stomach threatened to rebel and rumbled. Could this place be changing me? No, no. I was already pragmatic. Besides. Salad. Come on, you've done this before...
"Twenty-six."
I jolted forward, finding myself the focus of entirely too much attention. "I... I want something special."
"We have rabbit, shark-"
I desperately tried not to look for the poor remains of a rabbit. "Uh, no, umm..." I took a deep breath. "It's for a friend. Something... you know. Unusual. Something he'd be unlikely to get himself."
"...I have just what you are looking for." The griffin nodded, grinning wickedly. A slab of... something was dropped onto a scale. "Hydra chop."
The room went utterly silent.
"Is... is it good?"
"Hydra meat is rare experience. Imbued with flavor, acid imparts unique tenderness. One hundred percent poison removal, guaranteed."
I stared at the price. I could have a fancy dinner with wine for less than that. Good wine, too. But... it was for a celebration.
"How... how do you make it?"
He frowned, then slowly made a motion with his talons. "You... you take hydra... and you chop-" He brought the talon down in a slicing motion.
"No no no no, I mean, how do you cook it?"
"Well, for best experience, buy large portion, keep in cool dry place for one week. Is already mostly done, but little longer will bring out full flavor. Then, cook to friend's preference." He cut his eyes down in a furious glare. "If you cook hydra chop well done, do not come back. You will not shame meat so." He then looked about, then motioned me close, whispering. "Sorry, Topaz, didn't realize it was you. Is this for your bugs again? I told you, scraps are fine, most griffins in Equestria won't bother and these folk won't touch them, no keratin off my beak. You know, if you come during the day I don't raise the prices like this..."
"Gris!?" I sputtered, then looked around. "How did you know it was me?"
"There's only two ponies who ever come here during the day. You're one of them. Recognized your voice, and I can see your glasses glinting under the hood. Nice effect, by the way. Anyway... you should know, if you're shopping at night, you're paying night-shopping prices. These idiots will pay double for the same things they could get during the day, and I am overjoyed to assist them in that endeavor."
"Oh. I guess I didn't think about that. So... you're joking about me never coming back if I cook it well done...?"
His eyes went cold. "No. No, I am not." The smile returned. "Don't worry about it, just make it right."
I swallowed, nervous again. Idol, I thought, you had better appreciate this.
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You have no idea.
HAHA! Oh the overall concept of this is hilarious!
Ponies getting charged double to buy meat at night. 
by a strange coincidence, i was watching this in a different window:
nice chapter again, ca't wait to see the next chapter
A bagel?
A Bagel!
A BAGEL!
That sounds absolutely delicious.
Aw, look at Topaz going to such lengths for Idol.
Even if it turned out to be a bit over-dramatic on her part.
Never well done; only medium rare. :}
"Warm humid place, gotcha!"
Very cute chapter.
8184847 Now I'm sad that I couldn't find any where I live.
"Also I love you guys, and wanted to give you a little something extra that wouldn't have fit in the regular narrative."
And thank you for that; it was quite enjoyable. :D
hum now this is interesting.
and I must say this sounds rather good.
Lox is like vegan kryptonite
Lol
8184847 A proper bagel, a good bagel, not one of those leathery things you find in plastic bags at the supermarket, with a heavy layer of real cream cheese and lox, fresh off the baker's tray, is one of the few true beauties of the world. Had one in New Mexico about thirty years ago, and I can still remember it. Wonderful things.
T-the next chapter was released t-too quickly, Lieutenant.
We never stood a chance.
Cute, in a morbid sort of way.
Maybe I'm I'm a bit too much of a pyro, but I read "lox" and had to suppress two simultaneous thoughts: "why isn't that in caps?" and "why would you put that on a bagel?"
In other news, I love this one-shot!
Considering this is a hydra we're talking about it's probably safe to assume someone has one safely locked up somewhere and they cut off a head or two every now and then... Gruesome.
D'awww~
We love you too and want to give you a little something extra. *mails you a slab of Hydra Chop*
...What exactly is lox?
Thought at first it was swenglish for lax, aka salmon since that to is often in combo with bagels and cream cheese, but now I am curious.
Ah excellent little tidbit *tips hat* truly something fun and delicious to read.
My thanks, good sir
Ehhehehe
good job! This chapter has been appreciated for sure 
No meat for you! Come back one year!
8185240 I think it's fermented cod.
This is nice and I like seeing how Topaz got the meat for Idol.
Gris?
Hold on, that isn't Gerald Gristle from Naked Lunch is it?
8185240
8185271
Lox is actually brined salmon, which is usually served on a bagel and garnished with stuff like cream cheese, sliced onions, tomatoes and capers.
i1.wp.com/whatjewwannaeat.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/IMG_4390.jpg
And now we're hungry!
It's really funny how the clandestine experience itself is worth the price raise to the participants. Some people just like feeling like they're breaking the rules...
Figures Topaz would come here often, rotting flesh is a good attracting insects and things...
Keep going! ;)
8185111 Like Goblin Dan's?
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0326.html
8184847 It is super common in Scandinavia, and apparently super delish! I never really got into it though.
Heh, this was a nice side shot to how of the previous chapter. And I rather liked it. Cute and funny. Very well done!
We love you too, Drake.
8185321 I had never read that story before now. But jeez, it would have been great. This 'Gris' probably runs a shop in one of those side alleys; he's just found a way to drum up business in a unique fashion.
Topaz Showers, you are best pegasus of the week.
Neat! Underground meat sellers!
That was cute, please continue.
That was fun! Took me a few paragraphs to realize it wasn't Idol doing the talking, but I suppose that adds to the mystery. I did figure out it was a meat shop pretty quickly, though. XD I love the idea of getting little extra bonus chapters! I look forward to more!
If Topaz ever tells Idol about this place, I know where he will be spending his bits. All of them.
Love this little side bit. It's great to see how Topaz got the hydra chop. And how not to prepare it.
I was so excited to see a new chapter so soon! It was of the same great quality as the longer ones. Keep up the good work!
I enjoy good reading from above.
This was very cute.
I did wonder how she managed to get hydra meat, and not throw up XD
Mmm... Bagels... never had one of those in my life, man I am deprived of the good things in life.
Good show man, this was interesting to learn, hehe.
8187820 As long as it is edible, and doesn't give any bad feelings when eaten, then the answer is probably "YES!".
I'm hungry now. Thanks.
8187894 +1 for beating me at referencing my own story. XD
"Who's perspective is this you're not Idol who am I right n- oh hi Topaz."
8185449
Considering how rabidly vegetarian ponies are, or at least the fanon depicted ones, it's little surprise places like this creep out at night to sate the unholy tastes certain ponies get for... flesh... Ooooooo! (You're supposed to be all scared now)
p.s This little chapter is pure gold!
8189024 Neat fact: Icelandic horses are often fed salted fish. They're NOT strict vegetarians, though their digestive system is built around it, they can get some nutrition, clearly.
Ohhhhhh! I get it, cooking it well done will get rid of the acid and make the head start to regenerate. It's not just a thing of flavor! That's amazing