• Member Since 10th Apr, 2015

Caffeinated Pinkie


"Caffeine and sleep deprivation do a good story make."

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Total Words: 6,287,901
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Chapter 24: In progress.


I’ve been in Equestria for over 1500 years, and the memory of what I did to Luna and Celestia is still there, like a dull ache that will never go away. As an immortal, I’m going to have the next few thousand years to get used to it. Despite that, only thirty years have passed back on Earth. I wonder what’s become of Luna since we traded places. Is she alive? Dead? Married with kids?

My name’s Catherine, and you’re probably wondering what I’m babbling on about. If you’ll bear with me, I’ll start where it all began.


Tags (character and otherwise) will be updated as necessary. Rated teen for strong themes.

Character Sheet. (Work in progress.)

Cover art by Silfoe
High-resolution
Textless version

Edited and Proofread by:
Journeyman
thesaviour711
Greenback
Jay the Stormtrooper
Requiem17
Samaru163
Flammenwerfer
This list will be added to as people help. This includes single chapters and mutual favours.

Creative discussion and constructive criticism are welcome.

All OCs belong to me unless otherwise specified. Any likeness towards other characters and names is purely coincidental.

Update Features (D/M)
2017: 24/05, 24/06, 15/11, 19/12
2018: 21/02, 15/03, 9/04, 17/5, 4/6, 23/7, 29/08, 18/9, 26/10, 14/12
2019: 9/03
2020: 9/03
2022: 26/01

Chapters (25)
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This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals


Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

Chapters (12)
T

It has been several years since Chrysalis’ defeat during the Canterlot invasion. Since then, the fortunes of her changelings and kingdom have rapidly declined. With mass starvation, ponies capturing more of her spies and love collectors every day, and her own powers diminished to the point of being a complete non-threat to her enemies, she fears that it may soon be over for both herself and her entire race.

As Chrysalis reminisces about past failures, a pony named Time Keeper crashes a large metal box into her bedchambers. He claims to not only be a time traveller but also to have accidentally killed Twilight Sparkle on the day she was supposed to go to Ponyville to defeat Nightmare Moon.

In an effort to avoid the prospect of the universe tearing itself apart at the seams from the ensuing paradox, Chrysalis agrees to go back in time and live out a facsimile of Twilight’s life herself, and if time allows, she'll work on her own little project: shaping the future more to her own liking.

Chapters (23)
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Nightmare Moon had finally broken free of her prison. It was time to get her revenge on Celestia and bring about night eternal. Six mortal ponies rose up to stop her, using the power of the Elements of Harmony.

When the dust had cleared Nightmare Moon was gone, but so was Luna.

Be warned, there may be spoilers in the comments.

Chapters (23)
E
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While visiting Canterlot with Limestone, Marble runs into an energetic pony who could match her twin in cheerfulness. And she's cute. And wants to talk to her. And cute.

Naturally, Marble explodes from shyness.

Pre-read by: Timaeus
Ch. 1 Audio Reading by TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade

Chapters (12)
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My name is Rachel. Or at least it was. A bad decision brought me to the brink of death. I was "rescued" from that fate by some self-appointed "Spirit of Chaos." Or maybe he really was the devil, I don't know. He promised me a second chance but didn't tell me it would be in the body of a cutesy pony in a world which makes no sense. Worse, I think I've been set up, and something bigger is going on ...

(Rated teen for language and non-gory violence)

Cover art by the talented NoviceCreedArt on tumblr. Link to original work.

Chapters (58)
T
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Sweetie Belle gets stuck in a time loop.


Traducción Española: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/Un-poco-circular-1-4-990271915


Proofread by many people such as: 0_0, refferee, Leonzilla, crooked, TheGreatEater, and other people I may have missed.

Chapters (143)
T

When David volunteered to be part of a cryogenic experiment he thought he'd be at the forefront of human technology, spearheading research and development.

Unfortunately politics doesn't work that way.

Lucky for him, the science was solid... For ten thousand years.

AN: Don't take this seriously. Seriously don't. I don't.

Special thanks to my editor: Thornwing!

A-d-d-ditional Tags: Science Fiction, Parody, Waking Up In the Future, Equestria used to be Earth, Parity Bits, Things That Could Be Considered Irrelevant To The Premise And Is Only Used As Humour, Twi-bright, Kangaroos, Towels and Brawndo.

Rated teen for inappropriate scenarios. Well, lots of inappropriate scenarios. Now with 20% more Dark!

List of Side Stories:

The Story of the Equinos and Celestia
Twilight's Report
A Butterfly Bash
The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Unpublished Stories now available here.

I'll also keep the former list I made here:

The Story of the Gorlians and Equestria
Human Manual I
Equine Manual I
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly II
Blue Pill
David's Nightmares
Robot Manticore Attack
The First Law
Discordant
A Dated Journal Entry
McQuestria
McQuestria II
To Touch The Stars

Chapters (17)
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Discord's the only creature in Equestria who can recognize the human for what he is -- not the long-lost Seventh Element that never actually existed and couldn't have existed before the human arrived, but a meta-reality warper, an entity far more powerful than Discord with the power to warp the minds of all around him and the very rules of magic to make sure that he's always the Big Hero. And the role the human's assigned to Discord is the Villain to beat down or kill.

Pre-reform Discord's fine with being the villain. But on his own terms. Not dancing on some alien interloper's puppet strings.

Without friendship, or even allies, Discord's going to have to find a way to defeat a creature who can alter fate itself and who can even mind-control him. Or he may just end up worse than dead.

Art by Tenchi-Outsuno. Progress Bar at my writing journal.

Trigger warnings: Mind control (magically induced love, magically induced friendship, magically induced stupidity, Discord being Discord), noncon/dubcon (magically induced love, other forms of highly dubious consent), rape (female on male), violence/gore (mostly against Discord), literally everything in chapters 19-21, humans not being presented as unilaterally wonderful and superior to ponies and/or draconequui.

Chapters (26)
E
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Frothy Brew is the barista in the Canterlot café owned by himself, his wife, and his daughter. Years of hard work had made the café a successful and modestly popular place to stop and get a drink or a snack. Nothing prepared him though for it to become a hub of interaction with the undisguised changelings that were being seen more often in the streets of Canterlot. Can he put aside his feelings for the species though after witnessing the most horrifying aspect of the invasion years ago?

This story runs concurrently with the latter part of my Change of Life story. While reading that and Prelude To Change is not necessary, they do give valuable background that is glossed over in "Conversations". Cover art and story illustrations are all done by Foxenawolf.

Chapters (13)