//------------------------------// // 7| The North Wind // Story: The Evil Paradox // by Alcatraz //------------------------------// True to Celestia’s word, the bulk of everyone signing up for the castle guard had arrived on Sunday. Through all the paperwork and organising I’d been doing, as well as hearsay from the influx of ponies, I eventually learned that Celestia’s and Luna’s rule extended beyond the confines of the castle from what I initially thought. Some of the scrolls that came my way were requisition forms that Celestia used to order what the castle needed or couldn’t produce by itself; food, cloth, lumber to name a few, which is partly why court proceedings tended to get rather busy, and it explained all the desk work: everyone took the chance to come see Celestia and Luna as they were passing through on business, such as Harvest and Lumen from my first day’s proceedings. I wasn’t entirely sure how far the princess’ rule extended to, so I began by noting towns and villages petitioners and would-be guards came from to give me an idea of the general vicinity. As much as I wanted to take Sunday to unwind from the busy week, all the hustle and bustle meant there was more work to do than any other day. Celestia had created a personal record for each recruit to track their progress (which I thought was a wasted effort since not all of them were going to make it), but we didn’t even have enough room in the castle for them all! Fortunately, we had enough camping  equipment in storage to accommodate those who lost out on a room, and we set them up behind the castle. Knowing what was to come made getting out of bed that much more difficult. Normally I could walk to the dining hall for breakfast on my own, but the halls were filled with the ambience of most of the maids and butlers (and I say that because I don’t like saying ‘servants’) occupied with the jobs needed to take care of a surplus of three-hundred guests, so I was constantly passing someone. During breakfast, most of the new arrivals sat at the opposite end of the lengthy table from Celestia and I, as if they were somehow scared by us. As the dining hall filled, ponies sitting down got increasingly apprehensive the closer to us they got, and it was only a matter of time before someone sat down next to me. A nervous, sky-blue mare sat down on my left with her meal. Though she glanced my way once, her silvery, wind-swept mane fell over her shoulder, keeping everything on her right out of view. She kept the same rigid posture as she ate, anxious etiquette ensuring she kept up with appearances in the presence of Celestia and I. “What’s your name?” I asked. She promptly jumped right out of her skin, her spoon clattering against the table as she began thumping her chest to clear her mouthful from the wrong pipe. “B-Boreas, Your Highness,” she managed to choke out. “I didn’t mean to frighten you,” I said apologetically. “It’s fine, Your Majesty. I didn’t expect you to actually talk to me.” “Oh? Why not?” “Everypony else is worried they might say something stupid, or end up inadvertently offending you or Celestia.” “It takes a lot to offend me, so those fears are unfounded. I honestly don’t mind if you talk to me like you would anypony else.” “...Really?” “Of course! Let me start. What made you want to sign up?” “Honestly?” she said tentatively, to which I responded with a nod. “I just want to put my talent to good use. I often got easily bored when I was little, and often found myself picking up things I otherwise shouldn’t. One day I picked up one of my father’s knives, found a log to use as a target, and never looked back. It was so exhilarating finally being able to consistently sink a blade into the same spot.” “It’s an amazing feeling, isn’t it?” I said. “I kept focusing my boredom onto something that I feel had merit, and when that log finally split in two, I got my cutie mark,” Boreas said with a proud smile. She leaned over slightly, and I saw what appeared to be two crossed kunai on her flank. “I take it you’re good at what you do?” I said. She narrowed her gaze. “I can pin a fly to a wall clear across a room bigger than this.” I raised an intrigued eyebrow, then looked over to Celestia eating by her lonesome as an idea popped in my head. I leaned down and whispered my idea into Boreas’ ear. She recoiled. “I couldn’t do that! I might accidentally hit somepony!” “What happened to Little Miss I-can-pin-a-fly-to-a-wall, hmm? Not as deft as you claim?” Boreas met my challenging gaze with her own. “Alright,” she acquiesced, grinning. “But remember, this is your idea.” “I’ll take full responsibility,” I said with a smirk. Boreas was quick to finish up, and as I watched her leave, Celestia gave me a curious look from across the table, holding one end of her spoon in her aura. I just kept looking at her, waiting… Before I knew what happened, there was a faint tink as a knife hit the wall somewhere off to the right, and the bowl of Celestia’s spoon splashed into the milk below. She stared, confused, expecting a mouthful that never came. Meanwhile, I had a grin spread ear to ear, leaning into a hoof to support my head as I stared at her. Celestia, confused, looked around for whatever caused half her spoon to fall off, and finally did a double-take when she spotted the piece of steel embedded in the frame of the hearth. Her head turned slowly, mechanically, and those demonic purple eyes bored straight into my soul with simmering anger, and I began to waiver under the weight of that gaze the longer I kept eye contact. To my continued horror, Celestia’s silent, piercing anger was replaced by a knowing grin that slowly etched it's way across her muzzle. She picked up a napkin, nonchalantly dabbed any excess milk from her face, and went back to eating using the spoon from the place set next to her. All the while, her eyes never left mine. She winked at me, and it was at that moment, I knew I fucked up. As calmly as I could, I finished eating and slowly exited the dining hall, and found Boreas waiting outside. “So, what happened, Your Majesty?” she asked. “Has anyone ever given you the dirtiest look ever, and you feel like you want to wet yourself from the fear they’re beaming into your soul?” “I… can’t say I have. Is everything ok, Princess?” I shook myself out of the stupor and ruffled my wings to clear the justifiable anxiety. “Yes, they will be. After that prank, it’s inevitable Celestia will try and pull one over on me.” “When you said I could talk to you like anypony else...” Boreas said as a change of topic, eyeing me up and down as I began walking to the throne room. “Can I ask why?” “Let me answer your question with another question. Do you see me as a friend, or as somepony who’s superior than others?” Boreas went silent after that, pondering the question right up until we arrived at the throne room doors. After some deliberation, she finally spoke. “I would much rather a friend who I can protect, and who protects me, than a ruler who expects their guards to lay down their life for them.” “Well put,” I said with a smile. “I think you’ll do well here. Friends?” I extended a hoof, and Boreas bumped it with one of her own, beaming. “Friends.” As ponies began to gather outside the throne room, I pushed open one side and ushered Boreas in. “Would you be up for a little test?” I asked her. “Sure, but what kind?” “Would you care to stand in for one of the usual guards? It’ll demonstrate that being a princess isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, and give you an idea of what guard life’ll be like.” “You want an inexperienced civilian to replace one of your more experienced guards?” I took my place upon my throne as Boreas stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading up to. “All you need to do is sit to my right, observe, and intervene if necessary. I couldn’t tell you the last time anypony tried anything violent.” That was true and false at the same time. “If things go from bad to worse, your talent should prove useful at deterring anypony. Speaking of… Where do you keep your knives? For that matter, how do you even throw them?” “My wings, of course. Where else would I keep them?” “In… your wings?” I parroted, dumbfounded. Boreas proceeded to fan her wings, small, razor-thin blades poking out from between the feathers. Intrigued, I reached off to the side and grabbed a piece of parchment I was going to throw away, scrunched it up and tossed it into the air. Boreas was quick to adopt a solid stance as she eyed the paper flying through the air. She fanned a wing and threw it forward, catching the paper with a blade and embedding it into the door at the opposite end of the room in one swift motion. “I’m impressed already,” I said after a moment. “Thank you, Princess. Though, if I may–” Boreas was cut off when one of the doors suddenly opened, Celestia striding in with a stern expression. “Good mor—Ow ow ow ow ow!” I suddenly found myself being forcefully beckoned towards Celestia, my hooves scuffing across the floor, only just keeping me upright. When she stopped pulling me across the throne room like a child about to be reprimanded, I sat before Celestia as she looked down at me while I gingerly rubbed my ear. “I do believe a proper good morning is in order,” she said stiffly. “Would you care to introduce me to your friend with impeccable aim?” “Boreas, Celestia; Celestia, Boreas,” I said sheepishly, timidly looking up to Celestia. Celestia cleared her throat and sighed. “Luna, as much as I enjoy a good prank, all it would’ve taken is somepony leaning forward at the wrong moment for things to go horribly wrong. Understand?” I only nodded. “And this won’t happen again?” Another nod. “Good. On another note, why is Boreas at your side instead of one of the other guards?” “Well... As a bit of on-the-job training, I asked her to fill in for the regular guard.” “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Celestia pressed. “I assured her that intervening is a circumstance that rarely arises, so I’m confident that it won’t do any harm.” “Disregarding recent events, I’ll trust your judgement with that. Oh, by the way…” Celestia levitated not one, but two of Boreas’ knives over to her. “I do believe these belong to you.” “I, uhm, eh-heh, Thanks,” Boreas said awkwardly, taking the blades and tucking them back inside her wings. “Also,” Celestia continued with a sly smile to me, “don’t think I won’t be getting you back at some point.” I looked to my stand-in and groaned. “Told you…” Despite everything that just happened, Boreas giggled. “I think I just lost half of my brain cells,” Boreas commented, the throne room doors swinging shut behind us. “Are all the petitioners that obtuse?” “If you lost half your brain cells, you’d wonder why I’m not a complete vegetable after dealing with it this long.” And by ‘this long’, I meant a week. “For the most part, they are. Although, there’s a few that I do get rightly invested in.” “So, what do you normally do after court?” Boreas asked as she began following me through the halls. “Considering it’s late afternoon, I’d take care of any errant work at my desk, enjoy the rest of the evening, eat dinner, raise the moon, then sleep.” “Oohhh, can I watch?” I blinked in surprise. “You… want to watch me scribble over parchment?” “No no,” Boreas chuckled. “Raise the moon! I’ve always wanted to see it happen...” “By all means,” I replied as I stopped at a seemingly random door. “Erm, what’d we stop for?” I pushed the door open, and Boreas’ eyes widened when she realised what lay behind. “No way,” she breathed in awe. “I never imagined I’d ever get to see the inside of a princess’ bedchambers…” “You’re not the first,” I absentmindedly said. I didn’t realise the weight of that statement until I looked to Boreas, seeing her crooked grin trying to suppress laughter. “It’s not like that!” I blurted. “Oh yeah, I bet you get all the stallions in here,” Boreas snickered. Time to play some mind games… I thought mischievously. “Who said it was stallions I was interested in?” I stepped closer. “For that matter, why do you think I invited you in here?” Boreas’ ears fell flat against her head, her eyes looking up as I slowly approached. The mare before me went completely tense. I stared her down for several pregnant moments before I did anything. “Kidding!” I finally said, breaking into a small bout of laughter. “You actually had me going there for a minute,” Boreas said, exhaling a long-held breath and laughing in return. “See what I mean?” I said as I flopped onto my bed to relax briefly. “Just because I’ll effectively be your boss, doesn’t mean we can’t share a laugh. And for the record, I don’t mind if you use my name when you’re not on duty in the future.” “I appreciate the sentiment, Luna,” Boreas said with a smile. “You’re quite welcome. In any case I’ve got work to do, and one of the regular guards will stand outside for the rest of the evening, so feel free to have a wander ‘round the castle and soak in the sights. And try to get an early night, you’ll most likely need it for tomorrow.” “I shall.” With a short, thankful bow, she left as Comet took his place outside. “Who was that?” he asked once Boreas was out of sight. “Hopefully one of the newbies I’ll be assigning to you. Quite good at what she does. Scary, too.” Comet raised an eyebrow. “Do I want to know?” “You’d probably end up crossing your legs in her presence if I told you what happened at breakfast,” I snickered. “And with that said, I’ll mind my own business while you do your princess-y duties.” “A wise choice indeed. Oh, and could you do me a favour and fetch Boreas, the mare that just left, in a few hours?” “Of course, Your Highness.” With a grateful “thanks”, I clicked the door shut, and sat down to the pile of scrolls I bought in with me. The lingering light of the evening sun hung below the horizon, soon replaced by the vast blanket of the night sky. Like sun sparkling on a secluded lake, the heavens were lit by pinpricks of light blinking into existence one by one, reflected in Boreas’ awed eyes. I turned to head back inside, closing the balcony doors behind us. “Wow…” she said airily. “Is that all you have to say?” I asked in jest. “Well, no, but when you see someone as powerful as an alicorn perform a feat like that, it puts you at a loss for words. The night sky is just so... lucid.” “Powerful, you say? There was once I time I had incredible difficulty levitating even the smallest of objects.” White lies are fun. Boreas blinked in disbelief. “I find that hard to believe, considering all the legends surrounding alicorns.” “Oh? What legends might those be?” “Just stories I heard as a filly, about how the strongest could turn a mountain to dust without even blinking.” “Hah! Looks like I’ve got some catching up to do, then. Now, shall we adjourn to the dining hall for dinner?” I opened the bedroom door, offering Boreas the right of way. Celestia had decided on holding a dinner for all the new arrivals each day until week’s end; it was a good way to get to know everyone, and was more efficient than crowding hundreds into a room that had a maximum capacity of less. Feasting, merriment, banter, and there was even mead! It was like my friends and I at the bar on a Friday night before the weekend, but Celestia, however, gave me a stern look when I made a grab for my fifth flagon when she was halfway through her first. She was either a lightweight, or a prude. With the moon risen, my stomach full, mind buzzing, I crawled into bed and made myself comfortable. I wondered if getting tipsy then visiting the dream realm would be any different. It wasn’t a moment later I found myself amongst the portals, wherein my question was answered. Sadly, liquor didn’t effect me or anything in the dream realm. It would have made for an interesting experience, seeing all the hypnotic swirling portals while tanked. Despite my mild disappointment, that wasn’t why I was here. Comparing Earth to Equestria, I didn’t think it unreasonable to assume that dreams functioned in a similar manner, and what Boreas said earlier made me think. If someone was aware they were dreaming, they could potentially manipulate the dream itself in any manner desired, something called ‘Lucid Dreaming’, and I wondered how it would effect my magic within the realm and dreams themselves. I began by closing my eyes and fed magic into my horn, and through the tendrils of energy snaking forth, I could feel the nature of each dream they touched, good or bad. I mentally commanded the magic to organise the portals into corresponding groups of nightmares and sweet dreams, and I opened my eyes to see the portals shifting and grouping together with fluid motions. The one thing I noticed was the colours of the portals with nightmares were a lot darker than their counterparts, and the downright nasty ones were sickening to even look at, much like the oily black portal from my first night in here. Going the extra step, I kept a mental picture of Hayseed and in mind, willing my magic to bring it closer. To my relief, it floated over from the sweet dreams instead of the nightmares, the colour a much more vibrant grass-green. Curious as to what the little guy was dreaming about, I stuck my head through the portal, and what I saw made me “d’awwww”. Hayseed was playing with a version of Luna that looked to be around his age, however old that was, pushing one another on a swingset, frolicking about in the yard, and otherwise enjoying one another’s company. Happy that Hayseed was having a good dream, I ducked out and left him to it, moving on to another. A nightmare would be a good opportunity to put my hypothesis about dream magic to the test, so I found a relatively mild one and jumped on in. It was an empty forest full of dead, decaying trees and detritus all around that seemed to stretch into infinity. Then a screaming red blur with a bark-brown mane shot by me faster than I could blink. Not a moment after that, black blobs bounded across the forest floor like bouncy balls the size of basketballs down a hill. I was quick to leap into the air, taking flight after the stallion. Spotting him ahead of me, I increased my speed to keep pace with his running, hovering just above him. “Need some help?!” I shouted down to him. In the split second the stallion looked up, he tripped over a log, fell flat on his side, but was quick to scramble to his feet unhindered. “Princess Luna?! What are you doing in this Celestia-forsaken place?!” “I saw you were having a bad dream, so I decided to pop in!” I swooped down, wrapping my forehooves around his barrel, then lifted off into the air, the blobs mobbing the spot he was seconds before. “You alright?” I asked as I set us down on a thick branch half way up a tree. “T-thank you, Princess. If you hadn’t come along…” “It is a dream,” I reminded him. “You would’ve woken up with a start is all.” The stallion looked down at the ground, and even though the blobs had no eyes, I could feel them staring us down. “What are those things?” he asked, wide-eyed with fright. “I call them Smokers. Basically, a nightmare in a physical form. Well, as physical as a dream can get…” “I keep having the same dream night after night,” he said, thumping the back of his head against the tree trunk in frustration. “It’s driving me insane, and I dread going to sleep some nights.” “What’s your name?” I said. “Bramble, Your Highness.” “Being chased by a bunch of little things? Sounds like you’re running away from something,” I ventured. “When you put it that way…” “In life, you’re bound to be overburdened by lots of little things. You just need to take a moment to clear your head, and figure out how you want to handle things. Though it may be overwhelming, keeping a level head can help to keep stress in check.” “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. But… how?” “That’s not up to me to decide. What I can do, however, is give you a good night’s sleep. Hopefully in the morning, you’ll be refreshed enough to think straight.” It was time to put my theory to the test. Leaving Bramble in the tree for the moment, I glided down to the ground to address the horde of Smokers. They were less interested in me than in waiting at the base of the tree. “You will leave Bramble alone!” I shouted. “I am She who guards the Night, and you will listen!” They cowered back, slowly slinking away from me. “Begone with you!” I reared up, then slammed my forehooves down on the ground. To my serendipity, a wave of magic pulsed outward from my hooves, sending the smokers flying back. Where they went and if they’ll be back I didn’t know, but at least I made some ground with dream magic. I was glad to have caught a break. I fetched Bramble and returned him to the ground. He was looking much more relieved than before. “Thank you, Princess,” he breathed. “You’re more than welcome. I hope you sleep well.” I lit my horn and leaned down to Bramble’s forehead, commanding the magic to give him a dreamless sleep. A moment later, the dark and gloomy forest began to slowly dissolve into a plain white nothingness, leaving the stallion asleep in the middle of it, and I could see the portal back to the dreamscape just behind him. As I stood before it ready to depart, I looked back to Bramble. “Rest easy, friend.” With a handle on how I could deal with nightmares, it was off to the next one.