"Have ya gone plumb insane?!"
My ears drooped as I overheard Applejack let into her little sister.
"But we only wanted ta help Candy earn her cutie mark!" a cringing Apple Bloom whined.
"An' where do ya reckon that says yer senses hafta pack up and fly out yer ears?!"
"I'm sorry, Applejack. We didn't mean no harm. We didn't know changelings can k-kill ponies."
"That's not even the dang point!" Applejack snapped. "Changelings are dangerous, period. Ya might as well have gone after some wanted outlaw."
I sighed and turned away, sweeping my gaze over the others. When I had led the Crusaders out of the forest, all hell -- or rather, Tartarus -- had already broken loose. Twilight and her friends had already arrived, and the Ponyville sheriff had not been far behind.
I couldn't find Scootaloo. Earlier, a pegasus mare had swooped down on the little orange filly, berated her, then picked an argument with Rainbow Dash. Now a sullen Rainbow hovered off to the side with her forelegs folded over her chest. Scootaloo and the mare were nowhere to be seen.
My heart skipped a beat as my eyes beheld Rarity. Near her was an elegant sofa she had somehow conjured apparently just to faint upon after hearing what the Crusaders had tried to do. Now she loomed over poor Sweetie Belle, who cast her gaze downward. Even Pinkie Pie was frowning at her. That had to feel bad.
I took a deep breath and trotted over, my ears already swiveling towards Rarity's voice. "... done some strange things in the past, but words truly fail me this time. Honestly, Sweetie Belle, what were you thinking? Were you thinking at all?"
"We just wanted to help," Sweetie said in a tiny voice.
"And how was risking your lives supposed to accomplish this?"
Sweetie's eyes shifted towards me for a moment. "We thought Candy could handle it. We thought she had fought them before."
"Regardless of what you believed, it seemed you didn't consider your promise to me."
Sweetie Belle's gaze snapped up. "I kept my promise! Really, I did!"
Pinkie narrowed her eyes. "Just barely! You found all sorts of clever ways to skirt around that Pinkie Promise, missy!" She looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling at Rarity. "I was kinda impressed, to be honest. I'm almost surprised she didn't earn a cutie mark from it!"
Rarity rolled her eyes at Pinkie. "To borrow a line from my sister: not helping."
"Rarity, I'm sorry!" Sweetie cried. "Scootaloo had kinda exaggerated things a bit, and we thought--"
"Yes, I know all about how Rainbow filled that filly's head with nonsense about fighting changelings, but that's beside--"
Rainbow Dash zipped over to us. "Hey! Don't go blaming me for this! I've had enough of ponies yelling at me today. I never said anything to Scoots about Candy fighting changelings."
Rarity frowned. "Fine. My apologies."
I started to back away.
Rarity suddenly whirled around and glared at me. "And where do you think you're going?"
I blinked. "Er, huh?"
She stepped up to me. "I am quite disappointed in you, Candy."
My ears drew back. "What?? Wait, how is this my fault?!"
"If anypony here knows what can go wrong when they withhold information, it would be you."
I stared, dumbfounded. "You're kidding, right?"
"You knew Sweetie Belle and her friends were up to something. Really, you should've been alerted as soon as it became clear that their intent was to hunt and capture some creature, regardless of whether you knew they were after a changeling specifically."
"Wait a minute!" I protested, though I couldn't help but cringe a bit. "I had no idea! I'm new here, remember? As in new to this world!"
"New to this world?" Sweetie Belle repeated in confusion. "What's she talking about?"
"All the more reason you should've asked for clarification when it was clear you didn't understand," said Rarity. "Now I know--"
"But, wait, I--!"
"Don't. Interrupt."
My mouth snapped shut, my eyes wide.
Rarity sighed. "As I was about to say ... I know you're new here, Candy, and I'm trying to be sympathetic to that." She glanced to the side. "And I suppose some good did come of this."
I heard Sweetie Belle gasp, and I followed both ponies' gazes. My breath caught in my throat as two nurse ponies held a stretcher between them, on which lay Strong Wing. He had been removed from the cocoon, though green goo still clung to his fur and dripped to the ground as he was carried to a waiting wagon.
Rarity's voice drew my attention again. "From what you've told me, things are similar enough across both worlds that you should've at least questioned more closely what the Crusaders were doing. Certainly you know by now we wouldn't have judged you for your lack of knowledge."
Only stubbornness drove further protest in my head as if answering some inherent need to be contrary. Admittedly, a reflex attitude of "who the hell does she think she is" fueled much of my remaining vitriol. Well, I had the answer to that: she was my fosterer. Or would be, if the bureaucracy would cooperate.
What I didn't want to admit was that she was an adult, and I was the stupid kid. I had said I wanted to know what it was like to be an ordinary teenager. Unfortunately, that meant they sometimes thought they had all the answers and did dumb things. I supposed I had finally achieved a goal of sorts, then. Yay for me.
I lowered my gaze. "I'm sorry, Rarity."
"I know you meant well," Rarity said in a gentler voice. "And I'm happy to see you making friends. Just don't be afraid to question what they're doing if you think it's at all suspicious or dangerous."
I raised my eyes enough to see Sweetie Belle giving me a look that was sympathetic, but intensely curious as well.
I heard hoof-falls behind me. "Um, sorry to bother you," came Fluttershy's soft voice. "But Twilight wanted to talk to Candy when she has a moment."
I flicked my gaze downward again and lowered my head slightly. "I guess that depends on Rarity."
Rarity touched her hoof under my muzzle and gently lifted my head. "Go see what Twilight wants. I've said my piece. Just please try to use your head a little more."
I struggled against the lingering instinct that only I knew what was good for me. In the perfect, rational world, Rarity made absolute sense; I should have thought things through. I didn't have the fear of secrets being revealed to fall back on as an excuse. Despite the fact that a purpose had been served -- finding the real Strong Wing -- that had been little more than a happy accident.
So I wanted to believe at the time.
I gave Rarity a small and somewhat forced smile before turning away.
"I'm sure she's not that upset with you," Fluttershy said.
"I think she is," I said in a low voice.
"Well, um, maybe, but it won't last long. She really does care for you."
Would my own mother have reacted any differently? I wanted to think that she would have called me out on my shit just as effectively, which made me feel worse for screwing up.
"I know she does," I said in a quavering voice. I lifted my head. Twilight stood near the wagon as the nurses loaded Strong Wing inside. "I just have a lot to learn, that's all."
Fluttershy smiled. "Maybe the books Twilight gave you can help with that."
Unfortunately, some things I couldn't learn from a book. Like maturity.
The nurses climbed into the wagon. The two stallions hitched to it immediately set out, breaking into a full gallop when they reached the road back into Ponyville. Sunlight glinted from the pendant as Twilight turned towards us, and I struggled not to avert my eyes.
"The nurses said they believe Strong Wing will recover," said Twilight.
"Oh, thank goodness," Fluttershy said with a relieved sigh.
"He was drained quite a bit, but he's no worse off than Nurse Redheart was when she was found." Twilight turned to me. "Candy, you might be wondering how we got here so fast."
"Yeah, I was, but I can guess," I said. "The pendant, right?"
Twilight approached me. "It happened while I was performing the experiment I told you about yesterday. It fired a burst of magical energy towards the White Tail Woods. When I remembered you telling me that you and the Crusaders would be here this morning, I gathered my friends and we headed right over."
"So the pendant was responsible for what I saw?" I asked in a tense voice.
"So you did see something!" Twilight cried, and for just a moment, I resented her excitement. "What was it?"
In a halting voice, I described the apparition of Michelle.
"Oh, no," Fluttershy said in a hushed voice. "Candy, I-I'm so sorry you had to see her again like that."
"But it wasn't her!" I snapped. Fluttershy drew her ears back. I sighed and lowered my voice. "Sorry. It was just another stupid image that Starswirl's avatar used." I looked at Twilight. "Wasn't it?"
Twilight hesitated. "Well ... that's one theory, of course."
My heart raced, "B-but that had to be it. She even spoke archaic Equestrian, like you told me about in your dream. What else could it be?"
Twilight did not respond at first, and my blood ran cold.
"Twilight?" Fluttershy prompted softly. "Is something wrong?"
"No, it's fine," Twilight said, but her quavering voice said differently. She looked at me and sighed. "Candy, I'm not sure how to put this. I'm not completely sure myself what it means."
I simply stared, not trusting my voice.
"I only had a few moments to study that burst of magic," said Twilight. "But the pattern was very different from what I had sensed from Starswirl's avatar."
I swallowed hard, my tight throat clicking.
"It's possible there's a second entity in the pendant."
Fluttershy's pupils shrank to points.
"I-it's not her," I croaked.
"I'm not saying it is," Twilight said.
"It can't be her!"
"It probably isn't, but I won't know until I study the pendant more to--"
"My friend is dead!"
"I know," Twilight said in a very soft voice.
"Y-you said yourself, not even Starswirl could figure out how to do something like that!"
Twilight placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Candy, calm down, please. You're jumping to conclusions."
Fluttershy trembled. "B-but what if Cherry r-really is ...!"
I clenched my teeth to suppress the impulse to scream at her. I took a few deep breaths. Fine, I was a teenager again. That didn't mean I had to act like an angst machine or lash out at ponies who were trying to help. "I-I'm sorry, Twilight. I just ... I just want to put this all behind me, and all it wants to do is pull me in again."
"Candy, I really debated whether to tell you this," said Twilight.
I quelled the impulse to demand why she insisted on torturing me with this knowledge. "S-so what does this mean? Is there some sort of ... o-of avatar of Cherry in there?"
Twilight gave Fluttershy and I a perplexed look. "Cherry?"
"We came up with that name for my friend," I said. "Closest word in Equestrian that reminded me enough of her so I could give her a name."
Twilight smiled. "It sounds nice. But, yes, that's one explanation."
"So now what?" I demanded. "Is this thing going to keep torturing me like this?"
Fluttershy gave me a confused look. "But didn't she help you?"
"Yes, she did, I'm not denying that," I said in more of a curt voice than I had intended. "But seeing her constantly makes it harder for me to get over her passing."
"I believe the only reason she was able to appear to you is because of the energy I infused into the pendant," said Twilight in a contrite voice. "I had no idea this was going to happen. I'm not going to do it again without your consent."
I doubted I could make any sort of responsible decision. If it were up to me, I would have the pendant destroyed outright, if that were even possible. Maybe I should've done that from the beginning, or at least tried.
"What I'm more concerned about right now is the changeling," said Twilight. "My brother had swept the White Tail Woods just the day before. It took powerful illusion magic to conceal that camp."
I trembled. "But that changeling ... the one that killed Cherry ... was supposed to be good at magic, right?"
"Yes, but it supposedly entered the transport circle with Chrysalis after the summit. I had checked that circle myself before dispelling it. It had definitely taken two beings beyond the bounds of Equestria, and Rainbow and the Wonderbolts had seen Chrysalis and another changeling enter." She frowned. "Unless the second changeling went with Chrysalis instead somehow. That might explain why the vision referred to the changeling specifically as, um, Cherry's killer."
"Twilight?" Fluttershy said in a tentative voice. "From what Candy said, it sounded like the changeling was trying to lead them somewhere."
Twilight sighed. "Yes, I know."
"So how did Sweetie Belle find the camp if even Shining Armor couldn't?" I demanded.
Fluttershy gasped. "Unless S-Sweetie Belle is really a--!"
I held up a hoof. "No, Fluttershy, it's okay. The Crusaders had come up with code words to check for that sort of thing." Which, in retrospect, I had to admit was damn clever.
"And I scanned each of the Crusaders and Candy earlier," said Twilight. "None of them are changelings."
I gave her a surprised look. "You did? I didn't even notice."
Twilight smiled. "I've enhanced the spell. Now it gives me purely magical rather than visual feedback, so I can cast it without anypony seeing it."
As much as I wanted to deny the most important problem of all, Fluttershy had already broached the topic. "What about what Fluttershy said, that it was leading me somewhere? What exactly was it trying to do?"
I didn't really expect a definite answer, as much as my mind screamed for one. Twilight had little more than I did: a bunch of possibilities, none of which were very pleasant to contemplate.
"I don't know, Candy, I'm sorry," Twilight said. "Little about this makes sense. For now, I think we should get back to Ponyville. That's the safest place right now."
I sighed as I glanced at the White Tail Woods. I had hoped to escape the constant fear that had felt like a riptide trying to drown me no matter how hard I had fought against it. So the first attempt on my life hadn't been enough for that horrible thing? As much as I wanted to blame the pendant for bringing me here, the incident in the alley wouldn't have happened if I had not been set up. I had not wanted to think too hard on it for fear of my screwed-up head using it to fuel renewed resentment over winding up in Equestria, but I wasn't stupid. Who better to set me up than a creature who could make itself look exactly like me?
Why couldn't it just leave me alone? I wasn't even wearing the pendant anymore! Unless this was some sort of revenge for crossing Queen Chrysalis.
I headed back to Ponyville with the others. I tried to console myself with the fact that this time I didn't have to simply wallow in my emotions like I had before. This time I could call on somepony for help.
Though at that moment, it made me feel no less scared.
"Um, Candy?" said a contrite little country drawl behind me as the boutique came within sight. "Ya got a minute?"
I suppressed a sigh and turned around. All three Crusaders were together again, though Scootaloo looked particularly glum. Behind her hovered Rainbow Dash, a stern look on her face, her forelegs crossed. "What is it, girls?"
Apple Bloom glanced at the others before she stepped up to me. "I jus' wanna say I'm sorry fer the trouble we caused ya."
Sweetie Belle stepped next to her friend. "I'm sorry, too, Candy. I didn't realize it would get out of hoof like this."
"Um ... I, uh ..." Scootaloo mumbled, averting her eyes, her ears drooping.
"Go on," Rainbow said, thrusting a hoof forward. "Tell her!"
Scootaloo blushed and stepped forward. "Um ... C-Candy? I, uh, I'm sorry for telling the others you fought changelings when I never actually heard you did."
"We only wanted ta help ya get yer cutie mark, honest!" Apple Bloom said. "I mean, yeah, we kinda hoped we would, too, but we really wanted it ta be 'bout you."
Sweetie Belle gave me a forlorn look. "And I didn't want to see the fostering get messed up. We thought maybe if you had a cutie mark, it would help. And, um ... I was kinda looking forward to having another sister."
Dammit, no children of any world should be so cute, and my heart lurched at Sweetie's words. Why was I such a softie around them? Maybe I felt more affinity for their little circle than I wanted to believe. I still struggled with the idea that I could be so easily accepted.
"It's okay," I said in a quavering voice. "I kinda messed up myself, too."
"Candy, can I ask you something?" Sweetie Belle said.
I knew that was coming. "Sure."
"What was that stuff you said about a new world? Are you from a lot further away than Manehattan?"
I caught movement out of the corner of my eye as Rarity approached. Had she heard Sweetie's question? At my inquisitive look, she nodded. "Go ahead and tell them, if you wish."
I gave her a grateful smile and turned back to Sweetie Belle. "Well, yeah, you could say that. I'm not from Equestria. Or this planet. Before I showed up in Sweet Apple Acres that day, I wasn't even a pony."
All three Crusaders' mouths dropped open, and their pupils shrank. "Wow, really?" Scootaloo said in a hushed voice that sounded more curious than anything else.
"Yeah, really. It's kind of a long story how I got here, but let's just say this little trip wasn't exactly planned."
"Is that why yer sixteen an' ya don't have no cutie mark?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Maybe. I don't know. I'm still learning how this place works. Maybe it means I'll never get one."
"But that's just not fair!" Scootaloo cried. "Why turn you into a pony and not let you get a cutie mark?"
I smiled faintly. "I appreciate your concern, Scootaloo, but--"
"Now we really do gotta help ya!" Apple Bloom cried.
My smile faded. "Girls, please ..."
Scootaloo grinned and fluttered her wings. "Yeah, we should go back to the clubhouse right now and figure out something else for her to do!"
Sweetie Belle face-hoofed. "Um, Scootaloo? Our punishments, remember?"
Scootaloo's grin faded. "Oh, yeah, right."
I turned to Sweetie Belle. "Punishments?"
"We're all grounded for two weeks," Sweetie explained.
"Can't we appeal?" Scootaloo said.
Apple Bloom frowned. "Applejack said I either get grounded now or miss goin' ta the rodeo. I ain't missin' that! 'Specially since I was gonna invite y'all to go along with me."
Sweetie Belle trotted up to me. "I actually don't mind being grounded. It'll give me a chance to get to you know you better."
I tilted my head. "Really? After learning I'm an alien?"
Sweetie smiled. "Sure! You can tell me about your world, and I can tell you about Equestria."
Scootaloo suddenly rushed towards me. "Oh! In your world, do you have, like, giant claws or antennae that shoot lightning bolts?"
I blinked. "What?? No, I--"
"Or mebbe legs that end in suckers instead of hooves so ya can climb up walls!" piped Apple Bloom. "What 'bout those?"
"Um, no, I was nothing like--"
"Oo, I know!" Sweetie Belle cried. "Maybe she has lots of tentacles that can hold a dozen objects so she can do lots of things at once!"
Apple Bloom smiled. "She'd find her cutie mark in no time if she could do that!"
I face-hoofed. "Girls ..."
"Or she uses them to beat up a dozen bad guys at once while she fights crime!" Scootaloo cried.
"Ohmygosh, that would be sooo cool!" Rainbow Dash suddenly chimed in. "Just like the character that Daring Do teamed up with when Ahuizotl stole the priceless sapphire that turned out to be the power core of the alien's ship that she needed to ... um ... er ..."
Both Rarity and I had narrowed our eyes at Rainbow.
Rainbow smiled faintly and rubbed her mane. "Heh. Sorry."
I sighed and stepped towards the three fillies. "Listen to me, please. I was actually pretty ordinary back on my own world. And as for this one, well ..." I slowly smiled. "I really appreciate what you tried to do for me. But, honestly? Getting a cutie mark is just not a big priority for me right now. I've kinda got a lot of other things to worry about first." I lifted a hoof and glanced at it, smirking. "Like, you know, being a pony?"
Had anything I said made any sort of sense? Would they reject me and repudiate my membership in their little club? What did it say about me that I actually worried that I'd be excluded from a societal circle comprised of little kids who had more ambition than they had sense?
The Crusaders exchanged glances, and I could only guess as to the meaning of their thoughtful looks. I had known them for only a few days, but already I sensed it could mean anything from simple puzzlement to wild scheming. My tail twitched when my mind gravitated more towards the latter.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo finally turned to Sweetie Belle, smiling. As if receiving some sort of unspoken message from her friends, she nodded once and turned to me. A smile graced her muzzle as well as she said, "Maybe we can help you with that, too. Being a pony, that is."
Scootaloo nodded. "Yeah, I mean, how hard can that be, right? We do it every day."
Apple Bloom grinned and waved a hoof. "Bein' a pony is as easy as fallin' off a log, trust me. You'll learn it it no time with our help!"
I couldn't help it. I burst out giggling. The Crusaders laughed as well.
And don't think I didn't notice that "too" you tacked on to your first statement, Sweetie Belle, you sneak. Getting them to stop scheming to help me earn my cutie mark likely had about as much chance of happening as asking the sun not to rise in ... that is ... as convincing Princess Celestia not to raise the sun the next morning.
Perhaps Rarity had noticed as well, as she gave me a sympathetic look.
"Scoots, we better get going," Rainbow Dash said. "I promised your parents you wouldn't be gone long." She rolled her eyes. "I'd rather not be yelled at again."
"I better head back to the farm," said Apple Bloom. "Seeya in two weeks, Crusaders!"
I smiled when her gaze included me as well. Was that a silly thing to be happy about?
Rarity stepped over to me as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo headed off. "I'm sorry if I seemed a bit harsh with you earlier, Candy."
I let my gaze linger on the departing fillies for another moment before turning to Rarity. "No, it's fine. You were right, I should've been thinking a little more clearly." I paused. "Does this mean I get punished, too?"
Rarity smiled. "Perhaps not, but I just may work you a little harder in the boutique for the next two weeks."
"Don't worry, Candy," said Sweetie Belle. "I'll be right there for moral support, just like in the forest earlier."
Rarity eyed her. "You mean you'll be working right alongside her."
Sweetie blinked. "I did? Um ... yeah, I guess I did."
I smiled at her. "You can help me with my magic."
"I was wondering why you were only learning that now. Is that because you came from another world?"
"Yeah. It's completely new to me. My world doesn't actually have any magic."
Sweetie gasped, but then narrowed her eyes. "Okay, now you're just having fun with me."
I giggled. "No, seriously. I'll see if I can explain it to you later."
"Well, anyway, I'm glad you're here. I really hope that mean old Spoiled Rich doesn't ruin it."
"Enough about that," said Rarity. "I don't want either of you worrying about it. Now, let's head home. It's not even afternoon and it already feels like it's been a trying day."
After my experience in the White Tail Woods, the idea of calling someplace "home" appealed to me far more than ever before. Since arriving in Equestria, I had needed a place I could feel safe, emotionally as well as physically. The castle had served the latter but not so much the former. I needed the former much more desperately than I had wanted to admit.
I hadn't dared to allow myself to feel safe since Michelle died. Maybe the changeling's mental block had never been complete. Maybe I always had a feeling I was in some sort of danger and didn't want it to affect anyone else. Yet I couldn't let my fear of bringing danger to others paralyze me further.
I had to trust that others knew what they were doing when I didn't.