//------------------------------//
// Chapter 12 - Nothing Is Simple 
// Story: Second Chances, Many Changes 
// by ASGeek2012 
//------------------------------//

"So what else do you know about me?" I demanded of the changeling queen. Taking even just the illusion of initiative in the conversation stopped me from being completely scared out of my wits.

"I know you are not really a pony," said Chrysalis with a sly smile.

I bristled. I actually wanted to contradict her. "How do you know all this?"

"Does it matter? The point is, if I have discovered this, so can your little pony friends. What do you think they'll do if they find out?"

I stomped a hoof. "Is that what this is about?! You're going to blackmail me into giving you the pendant?"

Chrysalis laughed as she started to slowly pace about the balcony. "Don't be so foolish, little not-pony. I have no interest in whether or not the ponies discover your secret. Continue to deceive them for as long as you wish. I find it amusing."

"I'm not here for your amusement."

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at me. "But that's just it. You have no reason for being in Equestria at all."

"I had a choice," I said in a hollow voice.

She stepped up to me. My ears flattened against my head. I forced myself to meet her eyes. "Really?" said Chrysalis. "Is that the belief you've falsely labored under all this time?"

"Wh-what do you mean by that?"

"Oh, I am sure Discord made you think you had a choice, but that is not how he operates."

My mouth dropped open, and my blood ran cold.

Chrysalis chuckled. "Or did you not know that was who brought you here?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. I forced the words through clenched teeth. "H-he ... he never told me his name ... he said he was a Spirit of Chaos."

She started to pace again; I heard her hooves moving off to the side and around me. "That, my dear, is Discord."

My chest became tight, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. "And ... a-and Fluttershy is supposed to be friends with him."

Chrysalis' hooves stopped behind me. "What is this?"

I heard the rising interest in the changeling queen's voice. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction, but my thoughts became sluggish for a moment, as if a wave of exhaustion had crashed over me, then just as suddenly vanished. I swallowed hard and opened my eyes. "I heard the other ponies mention his name, but I-I never made the connection."

"Or perhaps they never intended for you to."

I shook my head. "No, that ... I'm sure they just assumed I knew who Discord was. I mean, he's well-known here, isn't he?"

Chrysalis circled back around to face me. "Tell me: did any of them claim that he was being reformed? That he was better than he used to be?"

"Fluttershy had," I said in a small voice. "Twilight ... I overheard Twilight tell her brother that she didn't think Discord was involved in my appearance."

Chrysalis uttered a low chuckle. "Seems to me they're keeping a great many things from you, dear Candy Swirl."

"But if she really didn't know Discord had--"

"She is a Princess!" Chrysalis bellowed, and I retreated a half-step. "It is her business to know such things! But like all royalty, it is her choice as to whom she reveals what she knows. And how much." Her eyes narrowed, and her lips twisted into a grin. "Perhaps even to manipulate a little scared not-pony into giving up her pendant."

As she resumed her pacing, I pressed my hoof into my pendant, and I felt my heart trying to pound its way out of my chest.

I had to take more control of this conversation. This had to be a fishing expedition. My fear of her would only work against me. Or ... was I frightened of something else? My thoughts slowed again, perhaps because I didn't want to face the possibility that the others had been lying to me all this time.

I shook my head. "No, this is stupid," I muttered in response to my own thoughts, but my conviction was weak. "Twilight wanted to protect me."

Chrysalis stopped. "Did she now?"

Again, that tone of malevolent interest, yet now it drew me like a moth to a flame. "Yes. She said the pendant had powerful magic. She wanted to keep it shielded."

She stepped up to me and lifted a hoof. I backed away as she pointed her hole-infested appendage at my pendant. "And yet she allowed you to continue wearing it."

"I don't have a choice!" I cried. "It has some sort of binding magic that returns it to me unless I give it up willingly."

Chrysalis lowered her hoof. "And how did you learn of this?" She chuckled. "Let me guess: Twilight told you, and you believed it."

"I've seen the binding magic work!"

"Did she not offer to break it for you?"

"She said she didn't know how."

Chrysalis threw her head back and laughed. "The Princess of Magic? An alicorn? Unable to perform such a simple magical feat?"

"She told me it was very difficult!"

"More lies! They are taking advantage of your lack of knowledge of this world!"

"B-but they don't know where I'm really from."

Chrysalis chuckled. "So they say."

My head spun around the question I finally dared to ask: could they have been lying to me all this time? Why was I even entertaining the notion? Yet why shouldn't I? How was I supposed to know who was telling me the truth?

That, of course, included the changeling queen herself. I leveled my gaze at her. "Tell me why I should believe you. They ... th-they've been nothing but nice towards me. Rarity even wants to foster me."

Chrysalis resumed pacing. "Hrm. So I have heard."

"And Rarity believes what Twilight said about the pendant. Unless you're going to claim that Twilight is lying to all of them. Or they're all in this stupid conspiracy of yours together." I started to turn, intending to follow her as she walked.

Chrysalis' eyes flicked over me. "Take a good look at that pendant, Candy Swirl."

I stopped moving, frowned, and looked down. "What about it?"

"Keep looking at it, and remember."

"Huh? Remember what?"

"Remember the alleyway."

I swallowed hard. "I would rather not."

"Oh, but it is very important that you do."

Thoughts became like thick taffy, and I blinked rapidly. She next spoke into my ear from right behind me. I whirled around and nearly fell back on my haunches as her face loomed barely a hoof's breadth from my muzzle.

"That is, if you want to see what really brought you here," said Chrysalis in a silky voice.

I panted hard, as if again running from my pursuers. What the hell did she mean? I had no breath to ask. I pressed my hoof to my pendant as I struggled to recall memories I had wanted to cast off.

Chrysalis resumed her infernal pacing. I tried to follow her with my gaze, but it distracted me from my recollection. "Discord brought me here," I said in a quavering voice. "What more is there to know?"

"Think back further than that!" Chrysalis snapped. "How did you come into the predicament that gave that infernal draconequus an excuse to intervene? What happened?"

"I ... they pursued me into the alley. I wasn't sure if they really knew I was there because it was so dark. I tried to hide, but ... they found me."

Chrysalis stopped before me. "Yes, they found you. Why?"

"Because ..."

And I remembered ...


~~~


Footsteps sounded like lead blocks tramping against the detritus of the alley as the flashlight beam narrowed. I smelled old cigarettes and cheap booze. I held my breath. They were passing by me. They didn't see me. I was going to live another ...

I felt something like a mild electric shock against my hand, and my body jerked. The flashlight swung hard and blinded me.


~~~


My stomach lurched, and I tasted bile. My hoof covering the pendant dropped to the floor with a dull clop. "B-because the ..."

"Yes?"

I clenched my teeth. "The pendant ... j-jolted my hand ... like a little shock ... and ..."

"And they saw you. And they tried to kill you."

I stomped both fore-hooves to the floor and screamed, "How do you know all this?!"

Chrysalis frowned. "Does it matter? You ask questions which are irrelevant, and you continue to ignore what is right in front of your muzzle! The pendant is the ultimate cause of you coming to Equestria!"

My stomach heaved again. I stared down at the instrument of betrayal. All along I had known what really happened and ignored it. I wanted nothing more than to yank the pendant from my neck and fling it across the balcony.

I squeezed my eyes shut again and tried to breathe. No, I would not let myself hate Michelle. I would die before I did that. She had no idea this would happen. Yet for all of the changeling queen's vitriol, I could not deny what had happened. All she had done was force me to realize the truth.

I heard Chrysalis step up to me. "This pendant is a clear danger to you."

It could not be as simple as that ... yet a coherent thought failed to come to me for a moment ...

"It will continue to remain a danger so long as you possess it."

My fore-hoof rose as if to protect my pendant again, trembled, then dropped to the floor.

"And Twilight, the Princess of Magic, and the so-called Princess of Friendship, chose to let you continue to wear it despite the danger."

I gasped as I contemplated the unthinkable, that Twilight -- perhaps all of them -- had lied to me from the start. Yet ... Chrysalis had her own motivations, of which I had little clue except one. I opened my eyes and lifted my gaze to hers. "Let me guess. You want me to give the pendant to you."

Chrysalis smiled. "Is that not an obvious solution?"

It was. And simple. I could do it right then. I wanted nothing more to do with the pendant. In all my weakness, fury, and pain, I could willingly give up possession of it. My emotional dependency on it had finally been broken. Surely Michelle would not want me to keep it if she knew what it could do to me.

It wasn't her fault, and it wouldn't be my fault for giving it up.

Or I could wait and give it to Twilight. But if she had lied to me, I had no idea if I could trust her intentions anymore. Yet what exactly were Chrysalis' intentions?

"Just explain to me one thing," I said. "Why did one of your kind try to take it from me? Why did she try to trick me into giving it up?"

Chrysalis turned away and resuming pacing. "An overeager drone. One with far too much ambition and far too little forward thinking. I had told her of the threat your pendant posed to you, and she took matters into her own hooves. She will be severely disciplined."

Was that a plausible explanation? I wanted to believe so. Yet why didn't her drone just remind me of what the pendant had done to me in the alley like Chrysalis had done? I might have believed her.

My thoughts seemed to stick and grind, like gears trying to move against the force of the motor, hampering my ability to make sense of this. When my head cleared, my question did not make as much sense anymore. Of course this drone would not have thought of telling me, if she had acted as foolishly as Chrysalis claimed.

I did not flinch when I heard the changeling queen's voice behind me, and I listened willingly, almost eagerly. "Do you want to know why I am here for this summit, dear Candy Swirl? I am here to beg on behalf of my people for whatever scraps of kindness the alicorns will deign to bestow upon us."

"I-I don't understand."

Chrysalis snorted and stepped in front of me. "Then allow me to educate you. Your so-called friends were responsible for confining my hive to the badlands. Changelings thrive on emotions, and they saw fit to banish us to an uninhabited wasteland! They would just as soon see us all die of starvation and solve their 'problem' for them!"

I swallowed hard. Could they have really done such a thing?

Chrysalis stepped closer. "I know a little of the history of your world. Groups of beings persecuted for their beliefs, their culture, or simply for what they looked like. A pity if that would be allowed to happen here in Equestria, land of friendship, sunshine, and rainbows."

"What does this have to do with my pendant?" I cried. "Fine, maybe the ponies did all these bad things, but how does that involve me?"

"Twilight was absolutely right about one thing," said the changeling queen in a low, conspiratorial voice. "Your pendant is indeed a powerful magical artifact. As such, it is very valuable. If I possess it, it will give me great leverage over the alicorns."

"B-but what does it do?"

"Irrelevant! It is a bargaining chip, nothing more! Twilight's fascination with Starswirl the Bearded is practically a fetish. I intend to exploit it."

"And what about me?!" I shouted. "If these ponies really are as bad as you claim, what are they going to do to me when they find out I've given you the pendant?!"

Chrysalis laughed. "Simple. Tell them I found a way to break the binding magic and steal it from you. Considering their hatred of me, they will accept that. I will be very interested to know Twilight's reaction. Perhaps she will realize how foolish she was not to break the binding magic herself when she had the chance."

I lowered my head and let out a shaky sigh. Desperation drove me to acceptance of her words, yet some ill-defined need inside me still resisted. "They can't be all lying to me," I said in a small voice.

"Oh, really, now?" said Chrysalis, voice as smooth as oil.

My mind went fuzzy for a moment, and I lost my reply.

"I suppose you mean this nonsense about Rarity fostering you. A mere obligation on her part, I am sure."

I scraped a fore-hoof on the floor. My ears drooped. In my mind's eye. Rarity and Fluttershy's cutie marks floated above the castle on the glowing map. Like they were summoned, called to an obligation they had to fulfill, just another duty as part of whatever council they were on.

"But if I give you the pendant, I still have to face them," I said.

"Not if you are no longer in Equestria."

My head sprang up. I stared at her. "Wh-what??"

"I can offer you a way home."

My heart lurched. "A way ... home ... But how--?"

"You wished to know how I came to discover so much about you," said Chrysalis. "I have a means to access your world. Discord does not have a monopoly on such magic."

"But could you also change me back into ... into what I was?" Equestrian had no word for "human."

Chrysalis chuckled. "Shapeshifters like us not know how to do such magic? You need to pay a little more attention."

"I'm sorry, I just ... Discord made this sound permanent."

"Of course he did! That is how he toys with the destinies of other creatures! He will lie if it suits his agenda, or if he is bored, or it happens to be a Sunday. He is called the Spirit of Chaos for a reason."

"Shining Armor actually did think Discord was involved in this," I said in a weak voice.

"Then he is showing a rare moment of insight."

"H-he thought I was in league with him," I said in a shaky voice.

"And he will likely continue to believe so."

"But Rarity said she had straightened him out!"

"She can claim anything she wants to," said Chrysalis. "If it is her duty to do so."

I sighed. The map entered my head again.

"And you said Fluttershy is friends with Discord," Chrysalis sneered. "She has either been corrupted by his magic or is a blind fool. Can you trust a pony that has been either compromised or is so very gullible, let alone call her your friend? With so many ponies saying one thing, and so many saying another, can you truly trust anything anypony is telling you?"

"I-I don't know ..." I choked out, my eyes blurring.

"To me, your choice is very clear, Candy Swirl," said the changeling queen. "Give me the pendant. Claim I stole it from you. I will triumph over the alicorns and send you back to your world. You will never have to think of Equestria -- or be a pony -- ever again." She drew herself up to her full height. "It will simply no longer be your problem."

So simple.

So easy.

Just end the nightmare here. Another second chance, but back in my own body, back in my own world. A world I understood.

A world without a mother. A world without friends.

No, stop. Too many assumptions. I assumed I had friends here. I assumed I'd never make any back in my world. I assumed I deserved any in either place.

I just wanted the pain to go away.

I swallowed hard as I sat down on my haunches, tears dripping to the floor. I reached up with trembling hooves to my pendant. My breath quickened. My heart thumped so hard my chest ached. I moved my hooves to undo the clasp.

I hesitated.

It's a symbol of a close friendship I once had. I had told that to Rainbow Dash in the hospital room. She had stopped browbeating me, and then she had defended me against the changeling. She even hurt her head and acted like it was nothing! The one pony at the time I would have been glad to never see again, and she likely knew it, and yet she still did it.

Why?

Rarity made me a dress when she had little time to spare due to an overdue banner for the summit and ferrying her little sister to and from school. She even put me ahead of a paying customer.

Why?

Fluttershy never failed to offer a hug or a comforting word, even though every bit of her body language declared she felt more comfortable around animals than other ponies. In the hospital after the changeling attack, she had comforted me first.

Why?

Pinkie Pie wrote a song for me and sang it right in front of me in the hospital. Even in her own comical way, she nearly exploded with concern over my happiness from the start.

Why?

Even Applejack, despite harboring the most obvious skepticism towards some of my claims, never tried to call me out on it and exuded a trustworthiness I had never experienced before.

Why??

Was it true? Was it all an act? Was it conditional? Was it part of some greater game being played? Were they like Fluttershy might be, just pawns of Discord?

Could I go home again?

Why was nothing simple?!

I dropped my hooves. "Not yet."

"What?!" Chrysalis cried, startling me back on all four legs.

"I said not yet!"

"You are a fool to wait any longer!"

"Then I'll be a fool!" I shouted. "I was a fool to accept the pendant from my friend in the first place. I was a fool to run away. I was a fool for listening to Discord. Maybe I was even a fool to trust anypony here. What's being a fool a little longer going to cost me?!"

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth.

"Unless you can simply break the binding magic yourself and truly take it from me."

The changeling queen paused a long moment before she responded in a low, venomous voice, "No, I cannot."

"Then you have no choice. You'll just have to wait. I-I need time to think."

"I said I would not blackmail you for the pendant," Chrysalis said. "You must give it to me willingly to be free of the binding magic. But if you dare go against me, if you inform the ponies of our discussion and my desires, I will do everything in my power to see it they think of you as one of my spies! Or an agent for Discord! Or both!"

My heart fell into my stomach.

"I will not have my cause denied," Chrysalis declared. "I have waited too long and suffered too much at the hooves of these infernal alicorns. Yes, think, Candy Swirl. Think hard. Think about condemning my kind to a slow and lingering death if you don't give me that pendant. See if you truly believe that holds up against the so-called friendship the ponies have given you on the pretense that they believe you are one of them! Which you are not!"

I trembled hard. My throat closed up. I heard only my own ragged breath. 

Chrysalis turned away and headed for the balcony doors. She paused and turned her head towards me. "You have a day to make your decision, Candy Swirl. I will inform you of the time and place. You can choose to give me the pendant, and let me set right for you what Discord set wrong ... or you can keep it, and remain in an alien world inhabiting an alien body -- and quite possibly in an alien dungeon -- for the rest of your life."

I held my breath as the doors glowed with her magic. Her guards fell into step flanking her as she left. My guards rushed to me. "Are you all right, Miss Swirl?"

No. I would never be all right. I stopped being all right when I was thirteen. "Yes, I'm fine," I lied in a quaking voice.

The guards exchanged a look but said nothing. I trotted numbly back to my room. They dutifully remained silent, and just as dutifully took up position on either side of my door as I stepped into my room.

I had no more strength left to think or feel. I crawled into bed and wept until sleep claimed me.