5 - Aftermath of a Nightmare
From his hiding spot behind a pillar, Spike listened to the confrontation between Twilight and Nightmare Moon. Things weren’t going well. The elements of harmony hadn’t worked at all, and the last time that Spike had stuck his head out from his hiding spot he had seen Twilight and the others were being suspended in the air and crushed by Nightmare Moon’s magic. He sat with his back to the pillar, cursing his own cowardice. He wanted to just rush out there and save them! But he couldn’t. His legs felt like they were giant iron weights, so he just sat there, trying and failing to hold back his tears.
“Girls! Think about all the ponies and things you love and open up your hearts to me!”
Spike’s eared perked up at those words coming from Twilight. Another pony, he couldn’t tell which one, said something that he couldn’t make out at his distance, and Nightmare Moon gloated over the victory she thought she was about to have. The corner of his lips curled upwards tentatively. The joke would be on that nasty mare, Twilight had a plan.
He peeked out for another glimpse of what was happening, he wanted to see what Twilight was going to do. He was mildly surprised by what he saw. Twilight was just hanging there limply. She looked like she had given up, but that couldn’t be right! Twilight was amazing, she always knew exactly what needed to be done! Right as Spike’s hopes began to fall, Twilight tensed against the magic that held her and green light overpowered Nightmare Moon’s dark blue. It looked like streams of green magic were flowing from five of the mares towards Twilight at the centre. What was going on?
“What are you doing?! Stop that!” Nightmare Moon demanded.
Twilight began to laugh. It sounded nothing like the way she usually laughed. Her low chuckle sounded cruel. Scary. One by one, all the mares except Twilight fell to the ground and Twilight’s laughter only grew louder. She sounded downright insane as her mirthful expression echoed through the room. It reminded him of when Nightmare Moon laughed, though even the dark alicorn seemed frightened. For a moment, he was terrified that she was being turned into a monster just like her.
Then there was a huge flash of green and Spike had to duck his head back behind the pillar. He rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the painful, bright spots in his vision. He couldn’t see anything for several seconds until his eyes readjusted to the darkness of the room.
“Mmmm...it feels good to be in my natural form!”
Spike’s spine trembled at that new voice. It didn’t sound natural. It sounded twisted and distorted next to even Nightmare Moon’s voice. He could barely even imagine what could possibly produce that kind of sound, and not a single one of the things he did imagine was anything less than horrifying.
“What are you?” Nightmare Moon’s voice shook, revealing her own fears to all within earshot.
Spike steeled his resolve and took another look at what was happening. He was not prepared for what he saw.
“I am the thing that Nightmares fear.”
Spike plastered himself to the back of the pillar, hyperventilating and with wide eyes. What was that? Nightmare Moon had been scary, but she had nothing on that giant monster. The roar and crash of magic filled Spike’s ears between taunts tossed out by that freakish voice. He tried not to pay attention to the words, as they only seemed to make things worse for him, but one line in particular he found impossible to ignore.
“I have defeated two separate alicorns in one on one combat, including your sister, something that I believe you failed to do.”
Two alicorns? Nightmare Moon’s sister? What in Equestria was she talking about? Wasn’t Nightmare Moon’s sister from a thousand years ago? How old was this monster? How powerful must she be to have defeated multiple alicorns? Why wasn’t such an ancient and powerful creature common knowledge in Equestria? Where did she come from all of a sudden, and what would she do to Twilight and the others once she finished with Nightmare Moon?
“Liar!” Nightmare Moon screamed in denial of the monster’s boasts.
Moments later, the pillar that Spike was leaning against exploded into a shower of stone fragments, many of which bounced harmlessly off of his durable, dragon scales. He openly stared for just a second at the scene before him. Nightmare Moon stood a few metres away, furious, terrified and desperately searching for something. The monster that she was facing was nowhere to be seen, though his keen eyes did happen to spy a flurry of movement towards her from a mouse.
Not wanting to risk catching the attention of anything that was in that room, he ran as fast as his little legs could carry him for a small altar of some kind with the remnants of what may have once been a beautiful statue on it. As he ran, he tried to spot Twilight in the pile of unconscious ponies nearby, but he couldn’t see her at all. He dove behind the altar, confused to say the least.
Where was Twilight? Had he just missed her in his haste to find another hiding spot? She had to be with the others! She must have passed out just like the others before that monster showed up, or maybe she fainted because of that monster! There was no way the alternative could possibly be true. There was no way that monster was Twilight.
“Boo!”
Spike clamped his claws over his mouth to stifle the scream that threatened to escape from his throat, even though he had not been the recipient of that word. He could nearly feel the impact of a magical energy beam striking something and sending its target soaring through the air and landing with a thud.
“Just like your sister: a whole lot of power but a single blow and you’re finished. It’s almost sad, really.” The monster’s voice announced the victor of the battle. “Perhaps if you had been more level headed you could have actually beaten me. Panic does you no favours in battle, princess.”
Fearing just what the creature would do if it spotted him, Spike remained as still as possible and even tried to avoid breathing. The room was silent, excepting the sound of hooves clopping against stone floor as the thing surveyed the area. Nervous sweat poured down Spike’s face, and he felt terribly cold.
A minute passed where seemingly nothing happened. Spike was nearly tempted to see if the creature had gone, but an audible sigh coming from what was undeniably that very same creature cleared any such thoughts from his head. A light, fwooshing sound came next and more clopping of hooves followed shortly after. The hoof steps sounded lighter than before, as if from somepony much smaller than the creature. Even so, he kept hidden.
It wasn’t until a couple more minutes passed that Spike’s curiosity got the better of his fears. The monster was nowhere to be seen, but he spotted Twilight immediately. She was kneeling next to the unconscious Nightmare Moon. A stream of magic was twisting its way from Nightmare Moon to Twilight’s horn, much like he had seen flowing from Twilight’s friends to her earlier. It wasn’t quite the same, though. Instead of a bright green, the stream of magic was a sickly mixture of green and black. It looked like Twilight was in a lot pain, she seemed as if she would fall over any second.
“T...Twilight?”
Twilight didn’t react in any way to his uncertain murmuring. Right as he was about to repeat himself, Nightmare Moon began to glow with a brilliant white light. The magic connecting the two ponies faded and Twilight watched what was happening with her eyelids drooping. Once the magic surrounding Nightmare Moon faded, leaving behind a pony that looked nothing like her, Twilight gave a weary smile then turned her head away from the new pony and threw up.
He stepped fully away from his hiding spot and approached her while she rolled onto her side. Lying there like that, she looked no different from all the other ponies next to her. She couldn’t really have been that monster that he had seen earlier, could she?
“Twilight?” He called out to her again, louder this time though no less unsure of himself. Twilight stumbled back to her hooves with a deep groan. She narrowed her eyes and stared at him. She looked like she was still in pain.
"Did you see what happened?" Twilight asked. She was panting for breath and could barely stand. It looked like a slight breeze would knock her over. Spike began to tremble once again. Even though she looked like she couldn’t hurt a fly in her current state, something about her tone scared him.
“Did you!?” She shouted at him, causing him to flinch.
"N..no! I didn't see anything!" Spike waved his claws in front of him to emphasize his words. It was only a half lie, he thought. He had seen something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. Even now he was beginning to question what he thought he remembered. Could he have imagined it all? His eyes fell to the ponies on the floor. He certainly wasn’t imagining them.
"W...what happened to them? Are they...are they..."
"They're not dead. They're fine." Twilight assured him with a weak smile. That smile seemed genuine and kind. He even thought he heard a bit of relief sneaking into her tone, though he wasn’t certain of that. That smile remained on her even as she fell to the floor with a heavy thud.
“Twilight!?” Spike screamed as he leapt toward his fallen caretaker. “No, no, no, no, no! Please don’t be dead!”
What was it that Twilight had taught him about checking to see if a pony was alive? There had been a lot she had lectured him on, and most of it was infuriatingly out of his mental grasp, but he did remember that he was supposed to check for a heartbeat if nothing else. He placed the side of his head to her chest and listened. It was faint, but there was the thumping of her heart. He sighed with relief. She was still alive. He had no idea what he would do if Twilight had died.
Out of the corner of his eye, Spike noticed a glowing ball of light coming in through a window where the rising sun was just barely visible. He scrambled to place himself between that light and Twilight. He didn’t know what that thing was, but he was the only one left that could protect everypony and he would sooner die than let whatever it was hurt them any further. He trembled slightly at the thought that it might be that monster coming back for him, but stood his ground.
“S...stay back!” He warned the light.
“There is no need to fear.” A familiar, kind and gentle voice greeted Spike from that ball of light. Moments later, the light transformed into Princess Celestia, standing there with her head held high and wings spread in a regal pose.
“Princess?” Spike’s voice cracked as his vision began to blur with the beginnings of tears. “Princess!”
Spike ran to the white alicorn and threw himself at one of her legs and hugged her tightly. A gentle, feathery wing folded over him, comforting him as he openly wept with relief. He had been so scared for so long now. Scared for himself, scared for Equestria, scared for his new friends, and most of all scared for Twilight.
“What happened here?” Celestia asked, her brow knitted with concern. Spike looked up to her face and tried to explain everything he had seen, but every time he tried only another ragged sob came out. He had no idea what was wrong with him, he shouldn’t be crying like that.
“It’s okay,” she spoke in a soothing coo, “you can tell me later.”
Celestia stood still while she surveyed the scene so that she wouldn’t disturb the distraught dragon. Her eyes took in the plain, stone orbs that she knew to be the elements of harmony, minus the element of magic, the six small ponies that she had foreseen should be the wielders of those same elements, and finally upon the sole alicorn of the group. Her concerned frown melted into a smile as she looked upon that little, blue mare that was so familiar to her.
The blue alicorn groaned as her eyes fluttered open. Spike let go of Celestia’s leg to see who it was that was waking up and wiped his eyes in a futile effort to make himself presentable. Celestia, freed from the young dragon’s grasp, stepped forward towards the downed alicorn.
“Princess Luna!” Celestia called out, eliciting a gasp of fear from Luna when she recognized the one who was approaching her. She shied away from the large alicorn. “It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us, we were meant to rule together, little sister. Will you accept my friendship?”
Princess Luna hesitated for only a moment before she leapt to her hooves and nuzzled her affectionately.
“I’m so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister! I don’t know what came over me!”
“I missed you too.”
“Sister?” Spike muttered to himself. “Then that means...”
“Is something the matter, Spike?” Celestia asked, still nuzzling her little sister.
Spike looked over to Twilight, still asleep right next to her five new friends. If Nightmare Moon was Celestia’s sister, than that meant the alicorn that the monster had bragged about defeating before was Celestia herself!
“You...you’re really Nightmare Moon’s sister?”
Celestia winced at the mentioning of that name. “I am Princess Luna’s sister, yes.”
Spike swallowed a lump that had grown in his throat and was preventing him from speaking further. He licked his lips nervously and looked between the two alicorns and the downed Twilight. The princess needed to know that there was a monster on the loose, but should he really tell her that he suspected that it was Twilight? What if he was wrong? But what if he was right? What if it was some kind of evil force that was taking control of Twilight that made her look like that and Celestia could find a way to help her?
“T...there was a monster here that said it had beaten Nightmare Moon’s sister in a fight.” He began, trembling with nerves. Celestia’s brow furrowed with concern.
“What did this monster look like?” Her voice had taken on a very worried edge.
“I didn’t get a very good look.” He admitted sheepishly. “I only saw her from behind, but she looked like a huge black pony with holes all over her body, and she had wings like a bug!”
Celestia closed her eyes in concentration momentarily, but opened them before long.
“Are you sure it was female?”
“I think so...its voice was weird.”
“It doesn’t really sound familiar at all. A large, dark pony sounds something like Sombra, but he’s male, doesn’t have wings and hasn’t been seen since the Crystal Empire was lost over a thousand years ago, plus he never technically defeated me. Discord had beaten me, is certainly monstrous and could theoretically make himself look like the creature described, but it doesn’t sound like his style and I’m nearly certain he’s still petrified. I can’t think of anybody else it could be, though...” Celestia’s mutterings trailed off and she focused once again on Spike. “Is there anything else you can tell me?”
Spike nodded. “She fought Nightmare Moon and won,” Celestia’s eyes darted momentarily over to her sister who seemed deep in thought herself before returning to Spike, “and...she may have been Twilight.”
Celestia’s eyes widened. “What do you mean, ‘she may have been Twilight’?”
“I...when I saw the monster, I couldn’t see Twilight anywhere.” He explained with a trembling lip. Celestia’s eyes focused on her pupil as she lay there peacefully. Spike waved his little claws in the air to get her attention back. “I could be wrong! I was running for my life, so I didn’t get a very good look! She could have been hidden behind some rubble or her friends or something!”
“Luna?” Celestia turned to her sister, who still seemed to be concentrating on her thoughts.
“What?” She asked as if coming out of a daze, she seemed slightly disoriented.
“Could you tell me what happened? Perhaps you could clear this up.”
“I...I don’t remember what happened. I don’t remember the monster at all, or how I was defeated.”
“Do you remember nothing at all?” Celestia pressed, her voice tinted with concern.
Luna scrunched up her face tightly and tapped a hoof to on her forehead in an almost rhythmic fashion. When she finally spoke, she started very slowly.
“I remember facing off against...Twilight. She distracted me with...” Luna paused with a slight blush, “She distracted me and took the elements of harmony away from me. Twilight and her friends tried to use them against me, but they didn’t work. I had them at my mercy...”
Luna’s eyes moved between Celestia and the unconscious Twilight Sparkle.
“Is that all? Do you remember nothing that can help clear this up?”
Luna paused a moment and then nodded slowly. “I remember the six of them falling to the floor, fainted from my magic. It gets fuzzy after that.”
“You don’t remember the laughter? Or the big flash of light?” Spike asked incredulously.
“No.” Luna answered succinctly.
“But you remember Twilight falling to the ground?” Celestia asked.
“Yes, she was definitely unconscious.” Luna nodded. Celestia sighed.
Spike, while finding Luna’s version of events slightly at odds with his own, was incredibly glad to find somepony that would alleviate his fears. He was over tired, and he didn’t get a very good look. Maybe he didn’t remember things properly. It would be easy for his exhausted mind to mix things up a bit.
“I’m sorry, Princess. I guess I was mistaken.” Spike apologized.
“There is no need to apologize, young one. I’m just glad we managed to clear that up. There is still the matter of the monster that you had seen. Whoever it was is still at large, and though she may have given me my sister back, I fear we cannot assume she is friendly. But before we can concern ourselves with that, we must attend to Twilight and her new friends. Do you think you are strong enough to help me teleport these girls to Ponyville, sister?”
“I do, if you could help direct me to the correct location for the spell.” Luna nodded.
“Of course.”
The two alicorns levitated the unconscious mares, three a piece, into the air next to them and Spike held onto one of Celestia’s legs. With a considerable display of magical power, the entire room flashed bright gold and blue and then was empty.
___________________________________
Chrysalis groaned as consciousness began to return to her. She was confused at first at seeing an unfamiliar ceiling above her, and feeling scratchy, clean bedding beneath and on top of her. She had thought for a second, only a second, that perhaps what had happened over the last day had been a dream and that she would wake up back in her run down chambers in her run down hive, ready to desperately try and save her people from gradual extinction.
She was incredibly sore, nearly every limb throbbed. She felt nauseous, dizzy and had a splitting headache, and even though she had just woken up, she felt exhausted. The blame for that was likely from having low love reserves, though that issue was being helped somewhat by a loving presence in the room. Only slightly, though.
“How are you feeling, Twilight?” The familiar voice of Princess Celestia rang through the room loud and clear. Normally she would feel a surge of panic over her presence, but at that moment she had more pressing concerns.
“Not so loud.” She whispered, wincing at the alicorn’s words.
“I am sorry.” Celestia apologized at a less head piercing volume.
“I am in a lot of pain...Princess.” Chrysalis answered the question, remembering only at the last moment to add her title.
“You have been unconscious for nearly a full day now. We were concerned that you may not survive. Your parents are at the hospital to see you, they only just left recently at my insistence that they needed to eat.”
Chrysalis’ eyes widened at her luck, seeing an opportunity to get some love to hopefully recover some of her strength. “I would very much like to see them.”
“And you will, but first I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
“Okay.” Chrysalis replied, trying with all her might to maintain a neutral tone.
“The elements of harmony, they were at the scene where I found my sister but they had not been used. What happened with them?”
Chrysalis inwardly sighed with relief. The first question was an easy one. The truth was all she needed. First, though, she needed to feign ignorance on a certain subject.
“Your sister?”
Celestia tilted her head slightly as she observed Chrysalis. “Yes, I suppose you wouldn’t have known. Nightmare Moon is in actuality my sister, Princess Luna. Now, what about those elements?”
“We tried to use them, but they didn’t work. I think we were missing one.” She answered.
“Then perhaps you could tell me about how my sister was defeated.”
Chrysalis felt as if she were being tested and that a wrong answer would get her in some serious trouble. Celestia wouldn’t find anything useful in the answer she had already fabricated long ahead of time, though.
“I don’t know. Nightmare Moon knocked me out with a spell and when I woke up she was on the ground, unconscious.”
“I see,” Celestia nodded her head solemnly, “and you didn’t see a large, black, monstrous pony?”
Chrysalis’ eyes widened in shock at her question and her chest tightened. That damned lizard must have seen something after all and blabbed about it to Celestia. How much had he seen and, more importantly, how much did Celestia know? The way Celestia stared at her did not give her much confidence, and she realized she needed to explain her reaction to her.
“Y...you mean there was a monstrous black pony other than Nightmare Moon?”
She added extra trembling and threw in a coughing fit as if she were sick and getting overly worked up, though her pained body made it less pretend than she would have preferred, to try and sell the idea that she was terrified by the prospect of another creature there that could have killed her. She was tempted to say she thought she had seen one running off, but discarded the idea. It wouldn’t do her much good to be caught in an outright contradiction, even if she might be able to pass it off as her memory being impaired. She had to hope Celestia would read her reaction as fear of what could have happened rather than fear of being caught.
“Relax, Twilight. You are safe and I am doing all there is in my power to find the creature.”
Chrysalis gradually slowed and then ended her coughing, though she was left raggedly gasping for breath.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t more help.” Chrysalis told Celestia, adding a few tears to the lie in an effort to sell it.
“It’s not your fault, Twilight. I’m sure you did all you could.” Celestia reassured her. “I think I will leave to inform your parents that you have awoken, though I believe I shall wait an hour before relaying the news so that they don’t neglect eating to come and see you. You should rest in the meantime.”
Though Chrysalis would have much rather they came as soon as possible, she mumbled her thanks to the receding form of the princess. While rest would surely do her some good, it wouldn’t be nearly as useful as the love that she could siphon off of Twilight’s parents. She would rather not risk contradicting Celestia’s orders, though, so she would wait. She closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep, but found it awfully difficult with the excitement of having come so close to being discovered.
As she was bemoaning the realization that she would need to do something about Spike before long, she heard the door to her room open and close as a pony stepped inside. She cracked open her eye just enough to see that it was Princess Luna that had entered. She closed her eye again, pretending to be asleep in the hopes that the mare would leave her alone.
“I know you are awake, cease your pretending.” Princess Luna ordered her. Chrysalis groaned lightly and opened her eyes. She really didn’t want to deal with another princess right now. She stared at the blue alicorn, hoping that she wouldn’t raise her voice and aggravate her headache. Luna’s next words were a mixture of bitterness and mockery.
“What? No sweet words on my beautiful legs? Or the elegant arch of my back? I know that I do not look as I did then, but am I not still attractive?” Chrysalis’ ears plastered to her skull. She really should have wiped the princess' memory further back than she had. “It is as I suspected, it was all just ruse to stall for time.”
“Not all. I meant it when I said you were beautiful.” Chrysalis admitted. She did not want to have one of the princesses angry at her for such an outright snub. If making her feel better could ease Chrysalis’ new life, then it would be for the best.
“Tis a problem with my new form, then? If that is your concern, it will be only temporary until I have regained some of my strength. I will not look the same as when I was Nightmare Moon, but I should regain most of the height and mane.”
“That’s not—”
“But I am not here to be catty with you,” Luna cut her off, “I’m here to warn you. My sister suspects you are not what you seem. I believe I have you to thank for freeing me from my darkness and as such I owe you. In accordance with my debt, I have misled my sister by saying that I remember you falling to my attacks so that you could avoid suspicion of being the monster that the baby dragon speaks of, though I suspect she doubts the truth of my claim.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m not the monster.” Chrysalis denied. Luna smirked.
“I may have few memories of our encounter, something which I imagine to be your doing, but I do recall your beautiful smile and desire to exchange ‘love bites’ with me.”
The blood drained from Chrysalis’ face. She realized that she was at the mercy of this mare in front of her, a mare whose schemes she had just foiled.
“What do you want from me?” Chrysalis whispered hoarsely.
“Want?” Luna tilted her head. “I told you that I owed you for cleansing me, did I not? Beyond that, perhaps I would appreciate permission to visit you now and then, but that is all.”
“That’s it?” Chrysalis asked incredulously.
“I shall leave any further...developments of our relationship to the future.” She answered with a wink and then turned to leave.
She watched with a sense of unease as Princess Luna walked out of the room. Was it perhaps an attachment caused by Chrysalis’ earlier flirtations that were holding her back from revealing the truth? What a weak and fragile thread that kept her from the precipice of disaster.
Despite her exhaustion, sleep would not come thanks to the dismal thoughts that swirled around in her head and the anticipation of Twilight’s parents coming to visit soon. Though she was no less exhausted when her next visitors arrived, her pain in her head had been reduced to a dull ache rather than a throbbing one.
A pair of middle aged ponies, one a blue stallion with dark blue mane and the other a grey mare with white and purple striped mane, slammed open the door as they burst into the room. Chrysalis flinched at the sudden, loud noise, and quickly recognized them as Twilight Sparkle’s parents from the wedding preparations between Shining Armor and Princess Cadance. The two of them practically fought each other to be first to be by Chrysalis’ bedside. At first it seemed like Nightlight would be first, and to his credit he technically was, but the only thing to come out of his mouth when he went to speak was a startled yelp as Twilight Velvet tossed him aside with her magic.
“Are you okay? How are you feeling?” The victor of the competition asked in a worried tone.
“Like I’ve been chewed up and spit out by a dragon.” Chrysalis answered, exaggerating her plight, though perhaps not by much, in the hopes of wringing out just a little more parental love. She gave a weak smile. “I’m sure a big hug from the best parents in the world would make me feel much better, though.”
Nightlight appeared on the other side of the bed having crawled to it from wherever it was that his wife had tossed him, and both parents looked at each other for a moment.
“Umm...of course!” Nightlight exclaimed as he leaned in to hug his daughter, followed very shortly by Twilight Velvet from the opposite side.
“You must be feeling really bad,” Twilight Velvet commented, “you’re not usually so forthcoming with affection unless it has something to do with books.”
Chrysalis sighed happily at the energizing influx of love coming from both sides and the rapidly disappearing headache. “Nothing like a near death experience to make you appreciate what you’ve got available to you.”
“We’re going to have to get you out of this backwoods hospital and into a proper one back in Canterlot.” Twilight Velvet announced.
“No!” Chrysalis shouted, causing both of her parents to separate themselves from her and give her questioning looks. “I mean, I can’t leave. I just made friends here and I’d feel terrible leaving them!”
"Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to stay a few more days." Velvet humoured her daughter.
"No, I mean I'm not going to go back. I'm staying here for good."
“What about your friends in Canterlot? Isn't leaving them an issue?” Nightlight tilted his head as he continued staring at her.
“That’s...I mean...these friends are different. I really like them.”
“Really?” Celestia’s voice cut through the room as she entered it. All faces turned to see her walking elegantly towards them, “I’m surprised to hear that, seeing how you still have yet to even ask about their well being.”
Chrysalis winced at the Princess’ words. Was it really so hard to believe that she had made incredibly dear friends here in Ponyville and wanted to abandon her previous life in favour of ponies she had known for only a single day? Actually, that did sound pretty hard to believe. What kind of person was Twilight to do that sort of thing? The type of person that Chrysalis would have to pretend to be.
“I knew they were fine, I examined them before I fainted.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “You examined them while you were fighting my sister?”
“No, that was the first time I fainted. I woke up after it was all over and fainted again after that.”
“I see.” Celestia said skeptically. Chrysalis chuckled nervously in response.
“I guess I was still pretty messed up when I woke up then, but I just had to see if my friends were safe.”
“That’s very considerate of you, not what I’d have exp—” Nightlight stopped mid word as Twilight Velvet glared at him in warning. “Well, it was very considerate.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Chrysalis deadpanned.
“Do you truly intend on staying here, my student?” Celestia asked.
“I do.” Chrysalis gave a resolute nod. “Facing near certain death with somepony creates a very strong bond of friendship and I wouldn’t want to leave them after all we have been through.”
Celestia sighed at those words. “If only that were true.” She nearly whispered, probably more speaking to herself than anypony else in the room. “Perhaps it is for the best if you stay here, there is much you have to learn about friendship.”
“Wait, you’re not seriously going to just let her stay here, are you?” Twilight Velvet interjected.
“Your daughter is an adult, it is up to her where she is to live. I can’t force her to change her mind anymore than you can.”
“Hmph!" Velvet turned up her nose as if to say 'we'll see about that' and turned to her child. "Twilight Sparkle, I forbid you to move to this town! You are coming back to Canterlot with me, young lady!”
“No.” Chrysalis replied simply, eliciting a jaw drop from a confounded Twilight Velvet and a few unintelligible syllables of gibberish. Much to Chrysalis’ surprise, Princess Celestia chuckled.
“She’s grown up now, my little pony. It happens to all little foals.”
“I...yes. I see that.” Velvet replied with sad, downcast eyes. Celestia transferred her focus from Velvet to her pupil.
“Even though you may no longer be living in Canterlot, you are still my student. I will expect you to continue your studies while here and to write to me at least once a week detailing what you have learned. In particular, I would like you to learn as much as you can about friendship while you are here.”
“Yes, Princess.” Chrysalis answered quickly while internally groaning. She really didn’t want to have any contact with her if at all possible. She supposed that she should consider herself lucky if that truly was all the contact she was going to be exposed to. She had her doubts that it would be, though.
“Good. Now I think I’ll go and meet these friends of yours that you hold so dear, as well as make more permanent arrangements for you to stay at the Golden Oaks Library. If all goes well, you will be able to start your new life here very soon.”
“I suppose we should go back to Canterlot and pack your things for you.” Nightlight announced with a sigh.
“Actually, I’d like it if you stayed here with me just a little bit longer.” Chrysalis insisted. Twilight’s parents gave warm smiles at her words and hugged her once again.
“Of course. We’ll stay for as long as you want, Twilight.” Velvet assured her.
“We’re glad you’re going to be alright. We love you so much.” Nightlight added.
Chrysalis grinned as she siphoned as much love as she could manage from the pair without risking being discovered.
“I love you both too.”
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I guess 'horns' work that way no matter the species.
That went well.
I fear for her ruse seeing her current track record.
I think you meant 'him'.
... Why do I feel that if she gets as far as the reappearance of the crystal empire, she'll try swallowing the crystal heart?
7770880
That's an amusing picture. With it being a physical manifestation of positive emotions, including love, she'd probably have a major reaction of some kind to it.
And yes, I meant him. Fixed, thanks.
7769730
Well...it wasn't meant to be an innuendo, but I guess it is now.
It's my opinion that this is the best chapter, plot-wise. So many opportunities for conflict and development. Still, it's a bit sad you defused the thing with Spike; it would have been an interesting interaction between Chrysalis and Spike, one full of suspicion.
7771515
I feel I need to try and differentiate this story as much as possible from "My Twilight Facade" by axelsempai thanks to how similar the concepts are (a person who is less than friendly taking over Twilight's life from the start of the series while trying to avoid being discovered), the similarities have already been pointed out by at least one person in the comments. In that story, Spike being very suspicious of Twilight is a central theme for a very large portion of it. Even if there are many differences overall that help to differentiate the two stories, I'd prefer to try and not tread too heavily on what he has done in this particular area where it is essentially the same.
I'm not saying that Spike being suspicious of Chrysalis isn't going to factor into the story at all, though. It will at least to an extent going forward, but it's not something I wish to focus too heavily upon. I won't go too much into details because of spoilers and all, though.
7771112
The best innuendo is always unintentional.
So I put this in Chrysalis X Luna since this happen
7778805
Yeah, sure, why not. Thanks for letting me know.
Clearly the only solution is to flirt harder.
Well, I look forward to seeing more of this, hopefully you'll cover some of Chrysalis' future adventures, like trying to silence Time Keeper so he doesn't blab all her secrets, adjusting to having friends, etc. I'm not sure where exactly you plan to take it next but there are plenty of places to go. I imagine you won't want to cover every episode, though.
7791380
Every episode would be insanely time consuming. I'll certainly go over a decent chunk of them, but by no means will it be close to all. Most of the CMC focused episodes will be cut, for example, unless Twilight was directly involved.
7791356
You're the second person to point out that she's not any bigger than Nightmare Moon, and the second person to say 'never mind' as well. I'm surprised people don't think that she would have shapeshifted to be larger when they read that. Also, there's no reason for Chrysalis to have told the truth about that not really being her natural size, she was trying to intimidate Nightmare Moon at the time.
7792224
It's pattern recognition that's against you. When something is weird about a stated size in a fanfic, usually the author just made a mistake. Actually, mistakes in scale are pretty common in normal fiction, as well.
A line somewhere about growing to extra size as she feeds before it switches to Nightmare Moon's POV would probably clear things up, if you think it's worth fiddling with.
7792220
Not only that but Chrysalis being Twilight wouldn't necessarily change enough to make retreading the same ground interesting for every episode and the switch might prevent some incidents from happening at all and/or cause new ones.
7792224 I am really enjoying the story but I feel this just needs a quick fix at the transformation to make it precisely clear how big she is getting. I honestly thought it was her normal size from the show as well since that is about twice Twilight's height. Here are a few friendly writing tips as I was taught:
1. Explicit detail. This means to tell your readers exactly what you mean. While it is a neat idea to have her shift sizes even bigger for intimidation you have to let your readers know what size scale is currently being used. When it mentioned she doubled in size many readers probably thought it was 2x twilight (her current form) rather than 2x Nightmare Moon (the current perspective). That was at least what I thought while reading it. It just said she was twice as big and when something changes size you usually reference its previous size.
Example: "The pumpkin grew twice as large." Twice as large as what? Itself, the guy looking at it or something else entirely? Most likely its previous size.
2. Never assume what your readers are thinking. Everyone has different history and different views on how things so while most of us could all read the exact same thing and get very similar answers and opinions. the opposite also holds true, especially when something is more vague or less physical. Many readers could look at the exact same thing and get hugely different answers and unless the author explicitly states what is happening the reader typically fills it in with their own ideas or experience. While this can be useful for mysteries and fan theories; for something physically happening it is best to be specific.
Example: 'picture a black dog.' You may know what type of dog you wrote as the author but readers would just fill it in for themselves while continuing to read. Some may pick a medium sized Labrador but they could just as easily pick a Doberman, a great Dane or even a tiny little purse pup. All of various ages. If it is something specific then it needs to be very clear exactly what it is, don't leave it up to the reader to fill in blanks unless you are leaving a mystery or foreshadowing.
Hope these tips clear up my meaning and prove useful as both are closely related to each other. The story is really good and as I get further in I care less about the plot devise in the beginning and more about Chrysalis and her development. Looking forward to more now.
7866086
Very well, I've gone and made the slight change to say explicitly "twice Nightmare Moon's own height" instead of "twice her own height." Hopefully that helps.
7866256 Just finished re-reading the fight scene. I have chills down my back from the intimidation factor now. Awesome.
A grumpy, flirty twilight impostor story.
I didn't give this story my attention when I read the short description, but I'm glad I came back when you added some more chapters, this is great.
If I was chrysalis I'd probably come up with some bs story about being taken to an alternate dimension by time keeper and ending up with chrysalis's body/powers through some magic before finding out a way to send myself home.
Or just flirt with everyone more, that also seems to work.
Ok, so, reading the description I have one nit-picky thing.
Technically, he can go back in time and save Twilight Sparkle. It would cause a paradox for him as he would then neve have a reason to save her, but the universe will correct it and split the timelines. It's how it works. When something is changed in the past, a new timeline is created at that point.
Back to the Future has a lot to teach about time travel.
So, anyway, Chrysalis is unneeded. But then we wouldn't have a story, which is sad. Sad how some stories are based around characters not considering easy fixes to situations.
7955324
That's how it works in Back To the Future (and it's arguable that it didn't so much split the timelines as it did merely overwrite the original and ignored the paradox of people who don't exist causing their own non-existence). There is no set way that time travel functions because it isn't real (ignoring the idea of astronauts going at incredible speeds in space aging slower than those left behind on Earth, but even that would only be moving forward in time and not be subject to paradoxes), and as such it works the way that the creator of the fictional story declares it works.
If you look to various other sources you will find completely different ways it works. Terminator (at least in the early movies) has the idea that you can't change the past and any attempt to do so had already happened and is often the cause of future events in a nice stable, time loop. Or you could look to Dr Who, where you can get a lot of contradictions but the general idea is that there are certain major points or events in time that cannot be changed (and if you attempt to do so, time will work to reverse what you've done, as had happened to the 10th doctor at one point), but everything else is fair game to meddle with with no apparent major consequences.
In short, saying that time travel doesn't work a certain way is silly because time travel itself is a fictional act with no real life basis.
7957203
I like to think there are set rules to it, like the ones I stated, but ok :U
7974672
Are there any specific plot holes you find particularly problematic? Vagueness in criticism is hardly ever helpful.
You best not abandon this story Mr. Author. I'll track you down if you do.
But in all seriousness, this is awesome! Keep up the good work!
8006254
It's not abandoned, just slow coming. I've had some other things taking up my time lately.
8006711
that's great to hear!
Don't worry about taking time for more important things, just try not to forget about this story. It's always somewhat disheartening to find that a story you like has been forgotten, and I'd rather like to see where you go with this. But please, take your time if you must.
Hopefully you'll be able to have time for everything!
This is written extremely well! I'm shocked it's not more popular and has such an unfair like-to-dislike ratio. Too many stories riff with gramatical errors, spelling errors, bland dialogue, incoherent plots, poor pacing, and various other issues get universal praise and few dislikes; on the other hand, well-structured stories, such as this gem, get left in the dirt quite often. Your story has personality AND structure, which is a breath of fresh air. Keep it up!
8167273
I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it. I'm not really all that concerned with the like to dislike ratio, sometimes it happens where you get people looking at it that just dislike it for whatever reason, fairly or unfairly. Even as is, it still has a pretty good ratio of likes to dislikes at just shy or 90% of ratings being likes. The amount of overall likes may be a little low perhaps, but that should change as more chapters get added, which should happen soonish. I'm not giving any actual time frame, but it shouldn't be too long before it gets a long overdue update.
This has been an excellent read so far. I look forward to the next part.
You know, a million different stories have retold a series with a different character in the main roll, but you are one of the few that's done anything interesting with it. Can't wait to read the rest!
Lewd. I approve.
8224144
What I like about it especially is that there were practically no modifications to motivations or characterization. Meaning it actually is a radical change, that is forced to vaguely follow the original plot by a plot point itself, rather than a lack of overall change.
Also, I love real flawed characters.
Eh, I'll ship it.
So...as this story is in the Chrysalis X Princess Celestia/Luna group, is it safe to assume that Chrysalis eventually stops acting like a massive idiot, and takes advantage of the fact that Luna obviously has possible romantic feelings for her? I askbecause Chrysalis acting the way that she does here feels somewhat out of character for her. Or maybe I'm not remembering her correctly.
And then I woke again. And I fainted. And then I woke again. And then I fainted. And then I woke again. And I fainted twice. And then I woke again. I had a popsicle.
This went on for several hours.
I like how the story chose a different path to the story instead of things happening exactly the same to the original. Excited to see how this goes.