It has been several years since Chrysalis’ defeat during the Canterlot invasion. Since then, the fortunes of her changelings and kingdom have rapidly declined. With mass starvation, ponies capturing more of her spies and love collectors every day, and her own powers diminished to the point of being a complete non-threat to her enemies, she fears that it may soon be over for both herself and her entire race.
As Chrysalis reminisces about past failures, a pony named Time Keeper crashes a large metal box into her bedchambers. He claims to not only be a time traveller but also to have accidentally killed Twilight Sparkle on the day she was supposed to go to Ponyville to defeat Nightmare Moon.
In an effort to avoid the prospect of the universe tearing itself apart at the seams from the ensuing paradox, Chrysalis agrees to go back in time and live out a facsimile of Twilight’s life herself, and if time allows, she'll work on her own little project: shaping the future more to her own liking.
problem is this is going to fail right away. Chrysalis couldn't even pull off Cadence so no way Being Twilight. And due he has a freaking time machine he can go back or forwards enough to undo it.
This concept has potential. I shall see where it leads...
... That went well.
Go Chryssie go!
Damn ponies, it's not enough that they threw all the changelings out, they're also murdering them despite the changelings not having killed anybody and isolating them in the badlands to starve them to death. Bastards.
Oh my, this looks good.
Well, that went well.
I'm looking forward to more of this.
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Realistically? Probably true. She does have the benefit of being in Ponyville where the only one who knows Twilight is Spike, though...except for Lyra I suppose. But considering they had literally no interaction to the point of Twilight not even realizing she was living in Ponyville, I don't think that'll be a big problem. Even with that, it seems unlikely she wouldn't seriously mess things up.
I'm fond of the theory that Chrysalis, when disguised as Cadance, was purposely getting it wrong in front of Twilight specifically to discredit her so that she would become at odds with her friends. If she and her friends aren't getting along, then the elements of harmony aren't supposed to work (they're not in harmony, see?), which would obviously be something she wanted. Additionally, if she got her fighting with her friends and banished from the wedding by her brother, it's likely that people wouldn't think it odd if she's not around after Chrysalis captured her (which they didn't). That of course doesn't excuse putting her into the same 'prison' as Cadance which also happened to be relatively easily escaped, but what can you do? Is that what the creators' intents were with the episode? Probably not, but it's a theory I like regardless.
As for just being able to go back and forth in time to fix his mistakes...well, I already established that he found he couldn't go back in time to save Twilight Sparkle after he killed her. He also is pretty bad at travelling through time in general, pretty well running the risk of ruining things even further with every trip due to how clumsy he is at it. Even ignoring that, Celestia has just confiscated the time machine from him, he doesn't actually have it right now.
7477204 Sorry but the whole perpousingly being a bad Cadance just doesn't jive with me. Her plan would have worked if she never had Twilight and Cadence meet. Cadence would still be imprisoned and thus unable to shield blast the Changelings.
I have been reading another story named Twilight Facade where somepony has to pull of being Twilight and in that one the character pulls it off enough and since had no history of bad impressions it is working.
Plus Wouldn't Spike be dead to if he hit their chariot.
Admit an interesting idea but not workable.
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No history of bad impressions because he has no history of impersonating anybody at all. Additionally, his attitude is completely different from Twilight's (hates magic and doesn't know how to use magic, really angry, violent, not big on reading if I recall, bigger on physical fitness, zero knowledge of Equestria, etc) and he wasn't even trying to pretend to be the way she actually was (partly because he doesn't know anything at all about Twilight's life, which is something Chrysalis has an advantage with). Honestly, to be realistic he shouldn't have been able to pull it off, either, but the story is still going strong regardless. The only reason he hadn't been discovered was because he wasn't around anybody that knew Twilight except Spike, and he knew almost from the start that something was wrong. He eventually grows into a half ways decent imitation (still way off, but helped by others assuming she's just changing as she grows up in a new environment) after a considerable time lapse, but even then it's only good enough to fool those who know Twilight properly in short bursts.
It doesn't matter, though, you are by no means required to like, read or even think this story is viable. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and critique. Thanks, and I hope you find a story that works a little better for you.
7477242 That story might be one of yours. You almost had me with this one just didn't click right. It is certianly not the worse story idea I have ever heard of on this site.
This is so beautiful.
Well this looks interesting. Good luck to Chrysalis. Might be kind of amusing to see her trying to make friend with the others when she's not very used to it.
A fun read so far, and an impressive increase in chapter length.
The interactions were different enough from the episode to feel fresh and set up some fun possibilities for the future. Things are getting interesting and I'm curious how Nightmare Moon gets resolved with these new variables.
Personally, I would love to see a good one on one fight between those two.
This chapter was pretty good. That said, I can't see how Chrysalis can possibly keep the timeline straight, at all. She's simply terrible at empathy and connecting to others in any way that wasn't manipulation. Her trying to use the Element of Magic would probably be similar to Sunset Shimmer using it in the first EQG movie.
I can't wait to see what Chrysalis does at the wedding.
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I am definitely excited for that too, but it's so far away! I have so much stuff to get through, first.
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Yeah, I don't think anybody is surprised that Chrysalis isn't very good at friendship. The end result of Chrysalis' life as Twilight (assuming she makes it to the end) would definitely have some major differences from the future the real Twilight would have caused. Fortunately, I believe that merely having it close enough that the Time Travel Tours company would still go back to view Twilight/Chrysalis' life would be sufficient to avoid the worst case scenario of the universe imploding thanks to the paradox, though the future may be unrecognizable to those from the original timeline.
The element of magic...well, I'd love to go into detail, but I shan't because it would be spoilers and such.
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Glad to hear you enjoyed it. It was certainly a marathon writing this chapter, both because of its length and because I had to keep watching and rewatching clips from the show to get it right. I'm no stranger to longer chapters, though. This may technically be the longest chapter I've posted on FIMFiction, but only because I split an even longer one into two in another one of my stories.
That chapter was great, I loved the interactions and Chryssie's attitude. All in all, it felt more natural than the instant best friends forever in the show. Which makes sense, since Lauren Faust originally intended to develop their friendships over the entire first season and do the return of Nightmare Moon as its finale.
Ah, great Princess of Friendship, choosing to hold a grudge and exterminate an entire race rather than try anything else.
The next chapter can't come soon enough.
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You should keep in mind that just because Chrysalis is saying it doesn't necessarily make it the whole story. She's an incredibly biased narrator that leaves out some details that may make her look bad, and she quite possibly doesn't even know all the details herself.
I didn't know that the Nightmare Moon episodes were supposed to be at the end of the first season instead of as the opener, but it would have made sense. They could have built up the bearers' elemental qualities over time rather than forcing it down our throats like they did in the second episode. That was rather awkward at times, especially with Applejack. AJ's display of honesty was terrible. Instead of saying "trust me, you'll be okay when I let you go" she could have said "Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash are free to catch you now." If anything, it was a display of her leaving out integral information which could be argued to be dishonesty. To make it even worse, she had absolutely no reason to lie to Twilight and would have to have been a complete sociopath to do otherwise.
Friendship Games did a better job of recreating the situation where she helped SciTwi with the archery with some advice. Given that they were competing against each other on opposite teams and they weren't friends at that point, she had incentive to lie to her (lying helps the team, telling the truth might earn her scorn for helping their rivals). SciTwi had legitimate reasons to think that she wasn't being truthful. Twilight of episode two on the other hand? Not so much.
7516302 Oh, but our glorious Queen Cheeselegs the Bugbutt is the epitome of honesty and would never stoop that low.
Can't help it, she's my favourite character, so I'm equally biased.
And yeah, she wanted to properly develop the entire thing, but then Hasbro execs happened and we got what we got. Ah, the lost opportunities the longer start would've provided.
Never watched any eg stuff, might have to me. Heck, maybe I should watch more than a few episodes of the show.
Still, I think all this my be quite life changing for our favourite bug horse pony thing.
Uh oh.
And with that last line she has damned herself...
I just hear Chysalis going "oh HELL no" in her sassy black woman voice.
7476781 those ponies deserve to feel the pain that the Changeling feel.
"how hard could it be?"
Careful Chrysalis, those are famous last words!
Come on Chrysalis! Fuck nightmare moon! Do it!
This was great.
And that's the wat moment of the day.
Leave it to Chryssie to save the day.
Failing to activate the macguffins might bite them in the plots later.
I love how she has to keep telling herself that she doesn't care for Spike's wellbeing.
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She absolutely, most certainly does NOT have a soft spot for kids. She hates them so very very much.
Now, the big question: how is she going to explain to Princess Celestia that she defeated and purified Nightmare Moon without The Elements of Harmony?
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Tis a good question that she'll very much need to ask herself quite soon.
7595720 Not might, definitely will. The Plunderseeds are killing the Tree of Harmony and all 6 Elements of Harmony are required to heal it. Without it Equestria if not their entire world is doomed. Tirek is coming back too and he's a magivore/manavore. No amount of Chrysalis' love magic will work if he can absorb it. Especially if the Elements Harmony magic had an infinite magic overload feature built in for such foes like him which led to him being reimprisoned and depowered again.
Can hardly wait for more, please keep going this is awesome!
Isn't this just creating another paradox? If these memories are allowed to remain, then Celestia would recognize the time machines when they are being made. Unless Celestia is dead in Keeper's time, but that doesn't mean the information has to die. This could mean that Time Keeper's Celestia knows about Twilight being "abducted", looks into it, and finds out she was killed instead.
I am interested in what happens to a changeling going through the alicornification process. This story just might make it there for me to see someone's interpretation.
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Well, he did mention that he could get banished to the sun if he went back and admitted his mistake, which might indicate that Celestia is still around. It is true that future Celestia could very well recognize it, but then again...do you really think that Celestia wouldn't eventually figure it out during "Twilight's" lifetime? Remember, it's said in the prologue that Twilight died of old age, you're looking at potentially 60-80 years. Even if Chrysalis can bail early because Twilight doesn't do many world changing things as she grows older, she'd still likely have at least 20 years to go through, and that's an unrealistically low estimate.
To be completely honest, it may not be Celestia that Time Keeper is most afraid of in this situation.
I would say Chrysalis should probably look into a way to spoof her magic's color, but with how oblivious all ponies seem to be (including Celestia) she probably doesn't have to worry.
Woops, maybe I was too hopeful on how stupid ponies were... though this is a dragon....
The events so far are like a train wreck still rolling along the tracks. It ain't pretty but it is getting were it should be... just not with important things like living people or undamaged cargo.
I ship it...
Unless Rainbow just likes continuing...
I think the light could be a sickly, greenish huge.
NMM and Chryssi are about the same height.
Ok, there is the explanation.
Well, Celestia is going to know something is up since things did not go the way she had planned. I really want Spike to blow Chrysalis' cover.
This wasn't really as funny as I expected from the idea, but it's plain weird enough premise that it has been a good read so far anyway. Could maybe profit from playing the absurdity of the idea for humor a bit more, but that's just me. Considering how much of this will, by design, be spent retelling the events of the show with a minimal modification, a strong bit of comedy would go a long way to carrying it.
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I'll admit, that's a more positive review from you than I had anticipated. I'll have to keep in mind that playing up the absurdity would be a good idea.
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Well, the idea is interesting and the writing is solid, so there's nothing to really complain about. With the tags it has, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I kept laughing at things I wasn't actually supposed to think were funny, though... still, the idea offers itself well to that.
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I've never been a fan of tagging my stories...I often am unsure which ones I should actually use. Sure, for quick one shots it's easy, but longer stories that may have a bit more variety to them? Like, let's say you're tagging MLP: Friendship is Magic itself...it's a combination of a whole lot of different things. It's got adventure, and it's got slice of life, but you couldn't tag both of them as they're considered mutually exclusive. It's got comedy, but it's not uncommon for it to not focus on getting laughs. Another example for this story is the dark tag...I really only have it there because the basis of the story involves Twilight Sparkle being crushed to death, which could be considered really dark....though I wrote it in the prologue in a more lighthearted, dare I say even humorous, tone. Dark humour perhaps? I dunno. Tags are annoying things. Necessary, but annoying.
I was unsure whether or not to tag this story with several things. Comedy, Dark, Slice of Life, Adventure, because many of those could be debatable tags. I ended up settling on ones that are a lot less uncertain for the most part. Time machine equals sci fi. Sex because it's talked about. Alternate Universe because it becomes an alternate timeline. The only one I went with that I felt was debatable was Dark.
This is unexpectedly good. But did you need to leave us in a cliffhanger? In rather quite curious as about how Chrissy will deal with the aftermath of this one and with all other temporal shenanigans.
Also calling it now, RD is a virgin and will be into Chrissy's "in your face" behavior. No romance though, that's not how the changeling rolls.
All in all, moar when?
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Not sure exactly. Recently I've been a lot distracted by Overwatch with its Halloween event going on with all of its limited time stuff. The next chapter is currently 4500 words or so, though I don't know exactly how long it'll end up.
this reminds me of a weird Superman story: someone used a device called the "chrono-selector" to bring Superman into the future, and told him a strange story where he was actually a clone of the original Superman, and would die minutes after being sent back, but if they didn't send him back, the result would be paradox-induced destruction of the entire universe...
but he did NOT die, because he had actually been yanked into an alternate reality's future! they had told him about a different "superman's" life!
yes, a classic paradox problem.
oh, i remember a story where Changelings had the opposite problem: because they produce green flames when they transform, they would destroy anything they were wearing, whether they wanted to or not!
I guess 'horns' work that way no matter the species.