I looked down at the tray Spike had placed on the floor before my cushion, but before I could stretch my achy forelegs towards it, a soft glow cocooned it. It rose and hovered before me, allowing me to close my hooves around it. I turned my head and smiled at Rarity as the glow faded from both the cup and her horn. "Thank you," I said in a soft voice.
She smiled in return before turning to her own teacup.
As much as I enjoyed the coffee I had sampled earlier, caffeine was the last thing I needed. Many emotions still spun in my head, challenging me to decide what to feel. For the moment, I was content to simply listen.
Save for Shining Armor and Rainbow Dash, we had retired to a chamber on an upper floor of the castle's spire. Faceted sunlight shone through tall, crystalline windows, playing off the pastel tapestries and suffusing the room with a warm and soothing glow. The small, round table in the center was the only furniture to be found. We sat upon thick, soft cushions arranged in a haphazard circle. Rarity sat to my right and Fluttershy to my left.
My ears perked up when I heard my name.
"Candy, I should tell you what I was reluctant to reveal earlier this morning," Twilight said. She had left her cushion, her still-full teacup steaming untouched on its platter as she paced the chamber. The pendant hung from her neck, glowing faintly in the refracted sunlight as she trotted. "I had told you I had some idea of the location of Starswirl's lab where he forged your pendant. I believe he had built it on the very edge of Equestrian lands, near the badlands to be precise."
"The badlands?" I said. At least now I could admit my ignorance without worry.
Celestia lowered her teacup. "It is where the changelings were sent after their failed invasion of Canterlot. We believe they originated there."
"Chrysalis told me they lived in a wasteland. I guess that part of what she said was true."
"We honestly have little idea what's out there," said Twilight. "Nopony has ever made an effort to chart that area. But if Starswirl did indeed have his lab near their lands, that would explain how Chrysalis came to know about the pendant. She likely found the remains of the lab and perhaps a journal he left behind."
"What I don't like is how she was able to get to this here filly's world," said Applejack. "How do ya reckon she did that?"
"She must have a portal somewhere," said Twilight. "Likely deep in her hive where she can draw on natural magic sources or the combined magic of her drones."
"She had promised to send me home in exchange for the pendant," I said in a subdued voice. "I guess I was foolish enough to believe Chrysalis could simply wave a hoof and open the portal anywhere she liked."
"Do we need to worry 'bout her messin' with Candy's homeworld?" asked Applejack.
"As single-minded as Chrysalis is, that's highly unlikely," said Twilight.
With all my focus on myself, I had not even considered the possibility that the changelings could seriously mess with things in my world. I had to take Twilight at her word, as I had enough things to worry about.
I took another sip of tea, and my gaze drifted over my hooves; so alien and yet now so familiar, just like sitting on my haunches, or the swivel of my ears when somepony spoke, or the flick of my tail when I was anxious. I had an adoptive world now that I didn't have to fear inside an adoptive body that started to make sense. My mind still roiled in indecision as to how I felt about it.
I looked up when I heard a rush of wind. Rainbow Dash hovered just inside the door. "Hey, all, I'm back."
"Already?" Applejack said. "Though ya were gonna fly with the Wonderbolts."
"I did!" Rainbow grabbed an unused cushion from the corner of the room and tossed it towards an empty spot near Applejack. "We didn't have to go far." She zipped across the room and landed on her haunches a split second after the cushion hit the floor. "Looked like Buggy McUgly had a teleport circle set up just outside of town."
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Should I be worried 'bout that?"
"No, it makes sense," said Twilight. "She likely set it up earlier to allow her changeling infiltrator to travel quickly between the badlands and here. I'll check it out myself later and make sure it didn't lead anywhere else before dispelling it."
"I told Shining Armor about it," said Rainbow. "He sent some guards to keep an eye on it. So what'd I miss?"
"Nothing yet," said Twilight. She trotted over to me. "I was going to ask about Candy's friend." She turned to me and added in a soft voice. "If you feel you can. If it's too hard for you right now, I'll understand."
I shook my head and lowered my cup. "It won't get any easier for awhile yet, Twilight," I said in a slightly quavering voice. "She was my best friend. I guess she was really my only friend. We'd been friends since I was a little girl. I turned to her after my mother's death, and she really helped me deal with it. At least as much as she could."
I paused and took a deep breath when my throat became tight at the memory of that time. "A-anyway ... I ... I gave her that pendant. It was supposed to symbolize our friendship. She knew it was just a cheap piece of costume jewelry ... well, that's what I thought it was at the time ... but she also knew it meant a great deal to me. She almost didn't accept it, but she did."
The feared lingering resentment towards Michelle never came, and memories flowed more easily and less painfully. Even when Rainbow spoke up, it didn't trigger tears. "So that's what you meant! You told me in the hospital it had something to do with a close friendship."
I nodded. "Yes, that's right."
Rainbow rubbed her mane. "I'm really sorry about the hard time I gave you over that pendant."
"No, it's okay, you didn't know. Anyway, some years later, she started helping rehabilitate those who were abusing drugs. Um, not sure if you have that sort of problem here."
"Not often, but it can happen," Twilight said.
"An' that was a mighty fine callin' fer yer friend," Applejack said. "I can't imagine that bein' an easy thing to do."
I smiled faintly. "I kinda thought she was crazy at the time, but she was always very kindhearted." I turned my gaze towards Fluttershy. "Very much like you."
Fluttershy smiled, her eyes glistening. "Aw, thank you. Now I understand why you reacted to me like you did at first. I didn't realize I reminded you so much of your friend."
My smile widened slightly. "Anyway, I sort of fell out of touch with her for a bit. I was struggling to get my head back into school work. Then I heard a rumor that she thought I was doing drugs." My smile faded, and I shivered. Rarity lay a hoof on my shoulder. "Then there was the day I couldn't reach her. I finally headed to her apartment and ... a-and when I entered, I s-saw myself. The changeling."
Rarity uttered a soft sigh. "Candy, I'm so sorry."
I shook my head and blinked a few times. My eyes misted, but I didn't cry. I had shed enough tears for a lifetime. "She must have disguised herself, made her think it was me, and then ... well, you know most of the rest." I scraped a fore-hoof on the floor, and I clenched my teeth for a moment. "That thing made me think my friend was the one on drugs. She asked me to take the pendant with her dying breath, which is how I got it back."
"I do not know if this will help or not," said Luna. "But the only way that changeling could have done what it did was if your friend had truly loved you."
I swallowed hard. I lost my battle, and a single tear trickled down my cheek. For as long as I had thought I didn't deserve friends because of how horribly I had failed Michelle, even knowing that I was not at fault, I still struggled to completely shed myself of a feeling that had ruled my life. Yet when Rarity drew me into a hug, and I could accept it without hesitation or drawing away, I knew I had made a good start. I smiled. "It does, Princess," I said in a soft voice.
"Twi, ya figger out yet how Chrysalis affected Candy?" Applejack said.
Twilight gave me a soft smile before she turned away from me. "I have a theory. All magical energy has a natural resonance. I had tuned the detection spell to the particular resonance used by changeling mind magic. It's possible Chrysalis managed to re-tune her magic to use a different resonance. It wouldn't be nearly as efficient, and she would have to use it in short, weaker bursts, but it's possible."
"Yes, that must be what happened," I said. "Several times I felt like I had fuzzed-out, but I thought I was just emotionally overwrought at the time."
"But however did Chrysalis accomplish such a thing?" said Rarity. "She doesn't strike me as, well, subtle enough to come up with something like that."
"I think it was the changeling who disguised itself as Strong Wing," said Twilight. "Did anypony notice something unusual about it?"
"Other than that scar 'cross one eye?" Applejack said.
"Other than it was more ugly than usual?" Rainbow added.
"Wait, I know!" piped Pinkie. She stretched her fore-hooves to either side and tilted her head up as if looking at something tall, at least until she fell over backwards. "It was biiiiig!"
"Yes, exactly," said Twilight. "Well, not quite that big, but at least bigger than the drones at the wedding. And bigger than the drone the real Strong Wing chased."
So that was not the normal size for a changeling? I had no idea.
"At least it went down like a normal changeling when I hit it," Rainbow said.
"I mentioned that day in the hospital that we know so little about the changelings," said Twilight as she resumed pacing. "They may indeed have more specialized classes of drones. This changeling was obviously quite versed in magic if it could use such a sophisticated memory suppression spell against Candy, and it had ample opportunity after infiltrating the castle to figure out how the detection spell operated and find a way to work around it."
Applejack frowned. "Ya seein' the same problem I am, sugarcube?"
Twilight sighed. "That there's another changeling out there somewhere? Yes."
"Wait, what?!" Rainbow said. She leapt into the air and hovered. "Where?!"
"Well, not in the castle," said Twilight. "Shining Armor has scanned all the remaining guards. Most likely it's in one of the wooded areas near Ponyville. Shining and a contingent of guards will be conducting a thorough search, if for no other reason than to find the real Strong Wing."
I shivered. I almost lifted my hoof to a pendant that no longer hung from my neck.
Applejack sighed. "I gotta admit, much as I'm mighty glad Candy here is safe, Discord sure as hay left us a right mess."
"Applejack, if you don't mind me asking," I said. "You said earlier you knew he was up to something. How did you know?"
She smiled. "Thank Twi and her magic fer that."
"It was the changeling detection spell I scanned you with, Candy, back in your first night in the castle," said Twilight, looking pleased. "The dots are color-coded to the type of magic it finds in you. Purple for unicorn magic, blue for pegasus magic, and yellow for earth magic."
Pinkie giggled. "Except mine. Mine were all pink!"
"And alicorns would be a mix of all three," said Twilight. "Yours were purple like I expected, but the little bit of red indicated chaos magic. Likely residual magic from the spell Discord used to transform you into a pony and transport you to Equestria. And, well, there were the hints he gave us."
"Hints?" I asked. "He talked to you about me?"
"He, ah, dropped in unexpectedly on our meeting the other night."
"Wait, was that the explanation for the, well, odd things I saw?"
"Took me hours to clean up all that flour," Spike muttered, frowning.
Rarity groaned. "Ugh, I still get the shivers thinking about that night. That horrible outfit was too evil even by Discord's standards."
"Um, he did try to help us, though," said Fluttershy. "And he really didn't lie to us. And, well, the little plushie was cute."
"He's still up ta somethin'," Applejack grumbled. "Otherwise he'd be here gloatin' over the whole thing."
Rarity leaned forward and looked at Fluttershy. "Had he ever mentioned anything more to you about this, darling?"
"No, he hasn't," Fluttershy said. "But we're going to have a long talk about this the next time he shows up for tea."
I had no idea how I felt about Discord. I could not let go of the anger so easily, even when I preferred being a live pony over a dead human.
"One thing you should ask him, Fluttershy," said Twilight. "Is if he can return Candy to her own world and her own body."
Fluttershy's pupils shrank slightly, and she glanced at me. "Um, okay, I can ask him."
"One would imagine he could," said Celestia. "Considering he appears able to travel between the two worlds at will."
"Unless he's in this with the bug queen from the start," Rainbow grumbled.
"Unlikely," said Luna. "That would not be fitting with Discord's style."
"Seemed ta suit 'im with Tirek," said Applejack.
"Unlike Tirek, I doubt Chrysalis could offer Discord anything he could possibly want."
Rarity turned her head towards her friend. "Fluttershy, are you okay?"
Fluttershy's gaze had dropped. "Um ... yes ... just ... if Candy had to go back, I'd ... I'd miss her."
My heart lurched.
"Well, I would certainly miss her as well," Rarity said in a soft voice. "But we cannot keep her here if she would rather be back home."
That word again: home. What did it really mean? Did I even have one? Earth was not a home, it was a world that happened to be where I was born. My aunt's place, where I had been staying before I ran off after Michelle's death, had been a shelter, not a home. The last place I could call home stopped being such when my mother died.
I looked around. Was the castle a home? Where I had spent most of my time scared or worried, I could hardly call it that, even as nice as it was.
I glanced at Rarity. She had offered me someplace to call home. Could I accept that? Did I deserve ... no, scratch that. That had been answered already. It all came down to what I wanted.
"Given enough time and research," said Twilight. "I might be able to discern how to open a portal between our world and hers, but I would have no idea how to transform her back to her original body. Discord would appear to be her only hope of returning."
I uttered a soft sigh. I remembered the morning spent with Rarity, perhaps some of the happiest moments I had for some time. With the pall of worry over my fate lifted, I saw the past few days in a new light. Yes, Equestria still defied explanation sometimes, but I supposed like anything else I could learn.
I looked down at my hooves. Part of me still yearned to be human again. My dreams, despite the emotional maelstrom they had sparked, were comforting on some level. I still felt like I belonged in that old body.
"I think we're all fergettin' somethin'," said Applejack. "We're not askin' Candy what she thinks."
My head jerked up. "Huh? I'm sorry?"
"You're right, Applejack," said Twilight. She turned to me. "Candy? Do you want to go home?"
I stared at her for a long moment. My eyes darted around the room. My gaze met that of Rarity and then Fluttershy. I looked at Applejack, who gave me a soft smile. Was she doing that again? Was she somehow looking into my head and reading my intentions? Or was it just my damn expressive pony ears again?
"I ... I don't know."
Nopony spoke, as if they knew I had more to say.
"I can't say my life back on my world was great," I began. "It wasn't. Some of that was my own fault. I didn't let anypo ... anyone get close to me after my mother's death, except for my one friend. I thought I didn't need anyone else. And then when she died, I thought I didn't deserve any more friends."
Fluttershy touched a hoof to my shoulder. "Oh, Candy, please, don't think--"
"No, please, Fluttershy, it's okay." I gave her a faint smile. "That's what I used to think. I mean, yes, it's still a struggle to throw it off completely, but at least I want to now. I don't know yet where I want to go with my life, or in which world. At least ... at least no matter what I decide, I'll try not to push others away. I'll at least try to make friends." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry, I know that sounds sappy, I just--"
Rarity and Fluttershy converged on me, hugging me between them. I let out a ragged sigh, my eyes tearing as I threw my forelegs around them and hugged them back. I heard a sniffle and blinked my eyes clear enough to see Pinkie Pie giving me a huge smile, her own eyes watery.
"Candy, please, listen to me," said Rarity after we broke off the embrace. "If you ever have doubts again, please, come to me. Or any of us. We'll be happy to help."
"Yes, please, Candy," said Fluttershy. "Don't ever shut anypony out. Please promise us."
"I won't," I said, sniffling once. "I promise."
"Aww, th-this is so sweet," Pinkie said in a quavering voice.
Rainbow's lips had twitched into a smile, and she swiped one eye with a hoof. She caught several ponies looking at her. "What? I just had something in my eye, that's all! Not like I get all sappy like the rest of you."
Celestia giggled softly.
I caught a strange, soft, pulsing glow out of the corner of my eye. My jaw dropped as I looked at Fluttershy's cutie mark. "F-Fluttershy, what ...?!"
Fluttershy looked at me curiously, then saw where my gaze was pointed. "Oh!"
"Yes, mine as well!" Rarity said in a joyous voice.
Both Fluttershy's and Rarity's cutie marks glowed in a soft pulsing pattern. "What does that--?" I started, but was cut off when both ponies hugged me again.
"It means you're going to keep your promise," Fluttershy said.
"I don't understand," I said.
Twilight smiled. "It means that's what the Cutie Map had summoned them to do, Candy, to help you realize you didn't have to be alone anymore. You don't have to stop making friends."
For a few moments, I simply stared at her, not so much at what she said as how my own feelings towards the concept had so radically shifted. Had this been but a day ago, I would have seized on it as proof that this had been no more than an assigned task. Instead, I took it as a sign that perhaps I had reached a turning point in my life; only time would tell what I actually did with it.
"That's good, considering it looks like I'll be staying in Equestria for awhile," I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Luna lifting her teacup with her magic. "But, in that case, can I ask one favor?"
"Anythin' ya need, sugarcube," said Applejack. "What is it?"
"Will somepony please teach me how to use my horn?"
The other ponies laughed, and I chuckled along with them. Twilight trotted forward. "Well, with the summit over, I think I'll have some time to--"
"Ahem," said Rarity. "While it is true you're more accomplished than most at magic, I believe that responsibility should fall to me. After all, I am fostering her."
I turned towards her, my eyes wide. "Rarity, are you still going to ...?"
"Well, of course, I am," Rarity said, smiling. By now the glow of her cutie mark had faded. "Just because the Map says I'm done doesn't mean I'm simply going to trot away and forget you. Mind you, I fully intend to put you to work in the boutique. It will be a good way for you to practice with your horn anyway."
I smiled, though it was slightly bittersweet. The memory of my mother still haunted me, and likely would for some time to come, but I could not let that hold me back. My guilt over Michelle had done that all too well. It would have to be as I had said earlier, that Rarity would be more a big sister rather than a mother. Still, it was more than I had when I first came to this world.
"I'd love to help out in the boutique," I said with a smile.
"Candy?" Fluttershy said. "I know you'll be spending a lot of time with Rarity, but, please, stop by my place now and then?"
"Of course I will," I said. "I mean ... that's what friends do, right?"
Fluttershy smiled.
Rarity turned to Twilight. "Naturally, if Candy does prefer to learn advanced magic, she is more than welcome to seek out your advice like Sweetie Belle has."
"I would be more than happy to teach her," said Twilight as she headed back to her cushion. She picked up her teacup in her magic. Her horn glowed brighter for a moment, and soon steam once more wafted from the cup.
Really, I would be happy just to be able to move stuff around. I had no immediate desire for anything more advanced than that. Despite being in a magical world, I did not see myself becoming a mage anytime soon.
Well, okay, that spell Twilight used to reheat her tea was kind of cool, but still ...
Celestia set down her own now empty teacup. "I am truly happy this has all worked out. But before my sister and I depart for Canterlot, I believe Twilight had something she wished to talk to us about."
Twilight sighed and gazed down into her cup, looking a bit like I had felt in the dining hall right before Luna had arrived.
"I do hope this is an explanation for why we were shut out of the summit preparations at first," said Rarity, lifting her muzzle in the air. "I was not at all satisfied with the explanation -- if you could call it as such -- that you gave us earlier."
Applejack frowned slightly. "That's kinda harsh, doncha think?"
"No, she's right, Applejack," said Twilight in a somber voice. She lifted her gaze to Celestia. "I must apologize to you as well, Princess. I failed you."
"Please, Twilight, do not judge yourself so harshly," said Celestia. "Tell us what you feel you need to reveal first."
"Was Chrysalis right?" Applejack asked in a gentle voice. "All that stuff she said 'bout how you really feel about her?"
Twilight sighed. "Yes, she was. I do hate her."
"I toldya!" Rainbow said. "Who wouldn't hate her for what she did to Shining Armor?"
"That's not the reason I hate her, Rainbow."
Rainbow blinked and settled on her haunches. "Um ... it's not?"
Twilight took a sip of her tea. "I hate her because, back at the wedding, she made me hate all of you."
"Oh, goodness," Fluttershy breathed.
Spike gasped, his eyes wide. "Twilight, you never told me!"
Twilight hung her head. "It's not something I'm proud of, Spike." She lifted her head, her subdued gaze drifting over her friends. "It was when you didn't believe me when I told you something was wrong with Cadance. After Chrysalis sent me into the caverns below Canterlot, just for a brief moment while I sat in the darkness, I hated all of you."
I tried to piece together what had happened as I listened. I remembered wondering earlier if Chrysalis had done something to warrant becoming common nightmare fodder. I supposed I had my answer.
"Twilight," Rainbow said in a contrite voice. "Really, we're sorry we ever--"
Twilight held up a hoof. "Please, it's okay, you don't need to apologize. None of you do. I've long since forgiven all of you for that. That hate was barely a flicker. I knew I was simply distraught and frightened over what happened, but that I felt it at all ... bothered me. A lot. I-I didn't want it to ever happen again."
Applejack stepped over to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder. "Didja really think Chrysalis would do somethin' to make us not believe ya again?" she asked in a soft voice.
Twilight sighed. "I know, it sounds foolish to me now, too. I wasn't thinking." She peered down into her tea. "The other day, I had a talk with Fluttershy about the wedding, right after I had an argument with Rainbow. Maybe she was right. Maybe I do have some lingering resentments, despite how unbecoming that is for a Princess of Friendship."
Twilight's demeanor exuded a pain all too familiar to me. These ponies were not all that different from me after all. As much as I sympathized with Twilight, I drew some comfort from that thought.
"Twilight Sparkle," Celestia said in a low but firm voice.
Twilight swallowed hard and looked up.
"Do not be too hard on yourself," Celestia said softly. "You are not expected to be perfect just because you have earned a title. You cannot expect yourself to stop feeling the way you do."
"And, truly, Chrysalis had done nothing to endear herself to you," said Luna. "All things considered, you handled yourself as well as could be expected."
"One more thing," said Celestia. She rose to her hooves and stepped over to Twilight. "Just because you are the one who has the title, that does not mean you need to do everything yourself."
Twilight slowly smiled and nodded. "I understand, Princess." She turned to the others. "I'm sorry, everypony. I should have talked to you all about how I felt. I'm glad you all insisted on being there when the summit started."
Rarity smiled. "And I am sorry as well for getting a little heated with you at our meeting earlier."
"We all are, Twilight," said Fluttershy.
"Hey, it all worked out in the end," said Applejack. "That's what matters."
Pinkie suddenly bounced between Twilight, Applejack, and Celestia and pulled them together with a joyous cry of "Group hug!" How she did that with only two forelegs, I had no idea.
Twilight smiled as the other ponies trotted over and joined in a show of spontaneous affection that, despite everything I had learned about them in the last day or so, left me speechless. Had I isolated myself for so long that such a thing would seem so alien to me? I uttered a faint sigh. Despite how far I felt I had come, I still had a lot to learn.
Pinkie turned her head towards me. "Well, what are you waiting for, you silly filly?"
I blushed faintly, but my lips twitched into a small smile. I actually did feel a little silly, to be honest, but I trotted over to them just the same. I almost flinched in surprise when Twilight turned and hugged me first.
"That's for trusting me with your beloved pendant," Twilight said. "I'll take good care of it, I promise."
"I know you will, Twilight," I said, smiling. "Thank you."
My gaze fell upon the pendant as it gleamed in the afternoon light. What was it, really? Why did it draw attention to me in the alley? Why did it not want to part from me? Did it have anything to do with whatever entity Luna said had helped me in my dreams? I hoped Twilight could find the answers for me, as I burned to know.
Spike stepped up to me. "So, um, Candy? I was wondering. Did that trip to the library help at all?"
"Yes, Spike," I said. I glanced at Luna, who smiled at me. "It was very ... enlightening."
His eyes lit up. "Really?"
"I learned something very basic." I grinned. "You might even say something very elemental."
Spike slapped his claw against his forehead. "No offense, Candy, but that was a groaner."
I giggled. Luna chuckled as well.
Spike smiled. "I can't take full credit for it, though. It was, um, sorta another pony's idea."
His eyes flicked to the side. I followed his gaze and gasped. "W-wait ... that was your idea?!"
Princess Celestia smiled. "When you mentioned on the balcony earlier this morning how well you got along with Spike, I thought it best he help gently steer you in the right direction. Or more accurately, give you the opportunity to steer yourself."
"Don't look so shocked, Candy," said Luna in response to my open-mouthed stare. "My sister is like that sometimes. You'll get used to it."
The other ponies chuckled. I smiled, but the same question arose in my mind again: did I want to stay? How long would it take before I simply became so used to this world that it no longer mattered if I went back? No, I had to have something more concrete. I didn't want to simply exist. That's all I had done on Earth the past few years. If I were to stay in Equestria, I needed something more. I needed a purpose.
"As enjoyable as this has been," said Rarity. "I ought to be taking my leave. I need to pick up Sweetie Belle at the schoolhouse."
"An' I need to fetch Apple Bloom," said Applejack. "Miss Cheerliee was mighty nice 'bout keepin' an' eye on 'em after school so we could attend this here summit, but they're prob'ly drivin' the poor mare nuts right 'bout now."
Rarity turned to me. "Candy, you're welcome to come home with me tonight if you wish."
I blinked. "But ... I thought that challenge to your application ..."
Twilight stepped forward. "Officially, I still have custody of you, Candy, so I can approve of you going with Rarity. You do look rather tired, though, so you're welcome to spend another night in the castle if you want."
Only then did I realize how much my ears drooped. Even my tail felt limp. Whatever had sustained me, be it adrenaline or sheer force of will, now left my body aching and my eyelids heavy. I would need a nap just to have enough energy for dinner. "I think I do want to stay another night."
"May I pick you up in the morning, then?" Rarity asked.
So could I handle another day in the body of a little unicorn pony with day-glo hair in a bizarre magical world? Could I deal with a day where I didn't have to watch everything I did or send every word I said through a mental censor? Would I be able to handle the idea that I actually had friends I could go to if I had a problem?
"Yes, please." I smiled. "I'm looking forward to it."
~~~ END OF PART ONE ~~~
Everypony who believes that, stand on your head.
Excellent story. Take your time figuring out what comes next; you've earned it and then some.
Eh, "nuts" is a relative term, anyway.
I really love this story, so many thumbs up for it
Glad PART ONE is good ending.
Um aren't the first and third lines redundant when you mention the second line?
Great conclusion to the first part of the story. Have fun with family and I'm looking forward to more.
This is one of the only stories I've seen that integrated the Cutie Map powers this well. I've seen a few mention it, but that was more in passing. This one brought it in the same way the show does. A summon, an issue that's not immediately clear, and the conclusion coming without being completely obvious.
Good story is good! Love the first arc! Please keep the second arc of the story in the same story. I mean, don't make another story for arc two just because its a different arc. I hate when stories do that. Mainly because it is hard to keep up with stories that do that. Ya know?
Besides that I have really enjoyed the story thus far and can hardly wait to read more! Keep it up!
Very nice. It was good to see Candy get closure (even though the healing process has only begun); eagerly awaiting to see where this'll go next.
So ends the first of many adventures... But some questions still need to be answered...
Not sure if want to know how many parts there will be...
Or just want to roll with it and see how long it goes on.
I find myself very glad I picked this up when it started. It's been a great read, and very enjoyable to follow. I'll be looking forward to part two with much anticipation.
7008645 I am the exception to the rule of exceptions to rules that... uhm... accepts exceptions except exceptions which are accepted by rules...
I've really enjoyed this. Even though your break is warranted, I've noticed a lot of things I like go on breaks. The Flash, Agents of SHEILD, MLP. I am glad that they are all returning this month.
I can't wait to read the next part!
Changeling Redemption?
Second Chances, Many Changes
ACT II: Prepare Ur Anus
Good, a story arc that closes, something I really appreciate. So many stories go on and on without a sense of rhythm that I'm very glad to see you taking a more structured approach.
This was just so cute...
Untill internal voice read Celestia's "One more thing" in (Jackie Chan) Uncle's voice.
I'll hopefully stop laughing by part 2?
7010433
I am glad I want the only one. Literally every time I see those words I can hear that voice clawing around in my brain
I don't know, I'm still kind of disappointed in how that resolved itself. Given the premise of the story and how the vast majority of this part worked, I was hoping for something with a bit more ambiguity and complexity. I may have said ths before, but right now, everyone is just portrayed as too unequivocally nice. It's all very black and white as to who are the good and bad guys and I was kinda hoping for a bit more than that.
Let's see, Chrysalis brainswashed your brother, imprisoned your old foal sitter/ future Sister in Law, dismissed all your friends' contributions to the wedding, and then made you look like the evil one. If you weren't the least bit resentful I'd think something was wrong.
GAH, HOW WILL I SURVIVE THE NEXT 20 DAYS????? Can't wait to see Candy interacting with the Crusaders, though I can totally see her loathing Diamond Tiara if she hasn't been redeemed yet.
7011153 Well, if Chrysalis had tried a more soft hoofed approach, it would probably be more complex, but she went for a direct method that makes it pretty clear we're supposed to hate her. Now, I would not mind some Changelings getting Redeemed, but Chrysalis is the only 'active' villain from the show left unless Sombra is revived or Tirek escapes again.
7009031
While I was plotting out the story, I actually did waffle a bit on whether to use the Cutie Map or not, but decided it made a good plot device, not to mention giving Rachel another clue as to how that world operated. I'm glad it worked
7009036
7009367
7009720
I will definitely be continuing in this same story, which is why I left as "incomplete" (I figured three weeks was a short enough break that it didn't warrant setting the story to "on haitus"). At the same time, her story won't go on and on without end. I actually do have a definite ending for her story in mind. I'm thinking at this point that there will be three parts in all. I can't predict how many chapters each part will be. I received some good feedback concerning the pacing of the first part, so I may make some adjustments as to how I tell the rest of the story.
7011153
Well, not to spoiler anything, but there is more story coming up. I had wanted to bring part one to a definite conclusion, at least from what Rachel can see. Remember that with a first person POV, there could (and likely is) stuff happening behind the scenes that the narrator is not privy to.
7010481
Considering how far-removed I am right now from my teenage years, this comment means a lot. Thanks
7011795
I understand where you're coming from on this. I know there are a lot of stories where an OC meets the mane six rather easily. I considered having her instead meet only one or two, and then have her meet-up with the others happen over time, but I already have some criticism concerning the slow pacing of the first part of the story, and that would have just exacerbated it. So it's a bit of a trade-off, I felt. I think if the rest of the story holds up, it's a minor point.
There is a mention later on in the story as to why a bunch of them were together on that day. Also consider that Discord likely has a bigger agenda here, and he's basically the one in control of Rachel's fate. He may have chosen specifically for her to make as big a splash with her arrival as possible. I am naturally trying to answer your comment without giving away spoilers to the rest of the story ...
7013778
I suppose that's a fair enough point. Still, I think it wouldn't have hurt to have at least a few hints towards not everything being quite what it looks like. It makes sense enough that she wouldn't notice it, but personally, I think it's good style to at least have a few things that the reader, as an outside observer, could pick up on. It helps things feel consistent and makes sure that whatever happens in the future doesn't feel like it came out of nowhere. Just my two cents on that.
So the first act is over.
I must say I quite enjoyed it. I know some raised issue with the pacing, but while I do agree that it wasn't optimal and some thing could've been cut out, I also think you choose your own pace. You established your character, her struggle, gave her the time to build true relationship. It is the sort of thing that require time to do, but set apart the best stories from the rest. It is not a master piece yet, but you've already got your abse covered.
Another big plus is how faithful you were to the original material. While this first act was too long and often too dark to make an episode of the show, it had all the rest: a problem to solve and underneath it, a friendship problem, emotions, action, fun... You also made a great use of the cutie map and you gave us a very plausible ending that really felt natural.
So yes, a lot of it ended up being somewhat predictable and a lot of us saw the biggest twist comming, but it was predictable beacause it was the right choices to make both for you, the author and for your characters.
So in conclusion, I really look forward to the next act.
7015192
Choosing your own pace and selecting an optimal/natural pacing are not, I think, the same thing. There's a lot of time spent agonizing about the pendant and, in my opinion, too little spent on self discovery. Perhaps the character is not deep enough as is to really justify more, but she seems a bit flat at times. Hopefully the true nature of the pendant will be revealed eventually. It seems like it's probably transit through a portal made it look different or maybe it has an ability to disguise itself. I'd like to know how it ended up being an heirloom of sorts. In any case, the notion of Chrysalis having some kind of portal was an interesting twist even if it hasn't been explored yet. If Starswirl indeed had a laboratory/workspace, then perhaps Chrysalis liberated other artifacts from it as well.
7013798 Discord is doing something sneaky and eeeeeeevilllll!
He needs to be spanked soundly until he confesses!
7016219
Isn't that what I said
And I agree with you, there are little things that need improvement. We barely scratched the surface of who Rachel was and who Candy is, but she was in a huge turmoil, and that is something that was detailed plenty. Maybe too much at time. But I don't think she was flat.
7013897
This is a good point and helped me understand the original criticism better. It's easy for me, the writer, to know what's going on and what's happening. The challenge is making that more apparent to the reader.
7016219
Thanks for the followup, this is some good feedback. This is my first time writing a fan-fic where the focus is on an OC rather than a canon character. I can definitely keep this in mind for the rest of the story and for future endeavors as well. My intent was to go in stages, which each part focused on a particular aspect of the character's development and struggles, but perhaps I could have executed on that a bit better.
7015192
Thank you for this feedback, it's always good to know what I did right as well as what went wrong. Yes, this is definitely something deeper and a bit darker for the actual show itself, but I didn't want it to be all grim and cheerless. Even the darker episodes of the show had lighthearted and funny moments here and there, and I tried to convey that in this story as well. I'm glad that seemed to come through.
7017943
I'm glad you understand me there. This is something a lot of writers of all kinds of fiction struggle with. It's easy to overestimate how much a hint sticks out when you're the one placing it. The important part is being willing to listen when someone gives you a second perspective on it.
7016881
On the pacing bit, I suppose, but I agree in any case and I wanted to sum it up without trying to dig out the exact details. Pacing is kind of a 'feeling' and not always something you can neatly pin down.
I couldn't help but feel that the pendant, rather than the main character, was nearly the sole focus of attention for almost every single pony from the moment they met her. E.g. it's Rachel/Candy the pendant rack. Far more time was spent discussing it, try to make off with it, and arguing about it than was spent seriously talking to or about the pony in question. The impending presence of the summit is always there, but barely seems to play a role until the most recent part. Twilight seems far more interested in the pendant and absolutely ANY connection it might have to Starswirl except when she needs/wants to be angsty.
7011841
I was looking over the earlier chapters to remind myself of some details as I worked on notes for the next part and realized that this bit about Rachel making a general conclusion concerning earth ponies is the result of an editing error. When I first started putting this story together, I wrote a draft of the first three or four chapters, then decided to go back and rewrite parts of it before posting. Rachel's statement about earth ponies was originally in a later chapter after she saw other examples of earth pony strength, but I had decided to take out that other scene as it read like filler and didn't advance the plot. I wanted to preserve Rachel's observation so I had moved it this chapter and obviously did not think through the implication. So, my bad on that.
I was going to take some time over the weekend to make some minor edits to the existing chapters, so I'll see if I can straighten this one out, too. Good catch.
I just recently found this story an few days ago, I like it a lot!
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7042209
Yeah, that's a good point, I should make that more clear.
I am assuming that ponies age in more or less similar fashion to humans, so 18 would be adulthood (or at least when one would be called "mare" or "stallion" as opposed to "filly" or "colt"). She's 16, which would place her smaller than a full-grown adult and larger than the CMC (I always figured the CMC to be somewhere around 10 or 11 give or take a year).
I found your story today and read it all.
I really love it! Can't wait for the next part...we'll see go to school?
Discovered your story yesterday, sacrificed sleep just to finish it (which didn't work out). I managed to crack that Chrysalis was behind the incident with Michelle (not sure if her mother was sabotaged into suicide as well), but that Discord himself was behind the world travel and not something Chrysalis staged as well, is a bit too coincidental for my taste. Still, not all information has been provided yet on that matter, so this is an open point. I'd be interested in the other background events Rachel wasn't privy to, where we merely saw a glimpse. Any chance that you expound on it in the next arc? Or as a sidestory?
7043287
I placed the story near the start of fifth season, which I figured started somewhere around early summer, and time will be advancing through fifth season as Rachel's story continues. Most of the episodes after the opening two-parter suggest that events are taking place in the summer (the episode "Tanks for the Memories" being the outlier, which I'm punting to later in the season since its placement time-wise makes no damn sense). So that means school will be out for the summer soon, so likely we won't have her going to school just yet.
7050134
I have actually been writing a side story to keep events straight in my head, though it is by no means complete and is very rough draft (in fact, some scenes are written more in screenplay format just so I could get the event down). I was planning on posting the side story after this story is done, but I'm waffling a bit on that. Where it will likely become a lot more clear what's been happening behind-the-scenes, the additional story may become superfluous. Plus I have so many other story ideas I'm itching to get to after this one ...
7053910 You could write the second part and then, if still some things aren't touched upon sufficiently, you could simply create a scene collection, instead of full blown side story.
7010433 Thank the Grand Chi Magus, I wasn't alone!
That was compounded by recently finding "Three More Things" by Tatsurou
Well, now I can't see wait to see where this story goes, especially now that I don't want to tear my hair out because of Candy
I understand and sympathise why she acted the way she did, but my goodness did it frustrate my trusting nature
I just got through reading up to here.
One thing that stands out as unresolved (aside from the missing Strong Wing) was Spoiled Rotten's interference with Rachel(Candy)'s adoption. Seems like that was probably changeling interference, too. Chrysalis knew Rarity was trying to adopt her and certainly would have motive to mess with Candy's emotions on that level, whereas the real Spoiled Rotten would have no reason to interfere--or even know about the situation enough to care about getting involved.
Well I enjoyed part one very much. Looking forward to reading more.
I had this playing towards the end of the chapter. Fitting no?
Again, the pendant did not protect her friend.
Yes! The arc is over and I can finally sleep! Oh look, the sun's up.