> Second Chances, Many Changes > by ASGeek2012 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Chapter 1 - A Second Chance > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My lungs burned as I ran past the impotent pale glow of the street lamps, struggling not to slip on the wet pavement and failing. I wiped blood from the deep scratch on my face as I stumbled back into a desperate run. My throat was parched despite the dampness, and my legs were lead. I clutched my chest, my fingers curling as if to pierce my blouse and encircle the pendant between my breasts. My heart pounded in my ears, almost drowning out the determined footfalls behind me. I forced my hand to loosen, as nothing and no one from my past was going to help now. I found a darkened lamppost and swung into an alley, the stench of decay and neglect wrinkling my nose despite the months I had been on the streets. My gasps for breath were interspersed with whimpers. I crouched behind a dumpster trying to calm my breathing so it would not be heard. Instead, it heaved and stuttered, and I squeezed my eyes tight against tears. Despite my earlier attempt to break myself of the habit, my fingers were again searching for that stupid pendant. I refused to blame Michelle. I made my own bad decisions. I was the one who decided to run away from everything after her death. I heard footsteps stop at the mouth of the alley. I felt sick. I forced my breathing to slow despite how my lungs ached. I saw my visions of adulthood shatter like delicate crystal. I was never really any older than my sixteen years. I had only been fooling myself. I suppressed a gasp when a flashlight beam pierced the damp gloom. I swallowed hard and remained rock still, or at least I tried. It was hard to do when I was trembling hard enough that I could hear it. For a moment, my hair rose, as if I had grabbed one of those static electric generators. It faded as quickly as it had come, but it made my skin crawl, and I felt like something had passed near me. Footsteps sounded like lead blocks tramping against the detritus of the alley as the flashlight beam narrowed. I smelled old cigarettes and cheap booze. I held my breath. They were passing by me. They didn't see me. I was going to live another ... I felt something like a mild electric shock against my hand, and my body jerked. The flashlight swung hard and blinded me. I leapt from my hiding place and tried to push past the man holding the flashlight. Fingers like steel bands closed around my wrist, and I was flung into some garbage cans. My head rang from the impact, and I nearly let loose my meager dinner on the pavement. I was still half-retching when I was lifted to my feet, only to be backhanded across the face and sent plowing into the cans again. I was pulled to my unsteady feet, my back hurtled against the wall to the cry, "Get up, you fucking bitch." Two men had assaulted me, and now a third stepped into the alley. He didn't run, just meandered along. My heart lurched when he pulled out the gun and pointed it at me. He waited. He wanted me to plead. He wanted me to beg for my life. So I did, because I was a coward. "I didn't do it!" I screamed. "I didn't rat you out to the cops!" "Uh-huh," said the man in the white suit in a mocking voice. "Sure you didn't." I clenched my teeth. I had wanted to. So help me, I wanted to. Less of his scum on the streets, the better. But I wasn't dumb. Well, not that dumb. "I saw you myself," said the man. "I saw you walk into that police station." "It wasn't me!" I cried. "You even gloated to one of my men afterward." "It wasn't me!" I shrieked. One of his henchmen punched me in the stomach. I sunk to my knees, gasping for breath. Someone set me up. That was the only explanation. It didn't matter. I was going to die. I burst into tears. "Look up." I whimpered and ducked my head. "Look up, you stupid bitch." My hair was grabbed, and my head forced up. It wasn't like in the movies. The bad guy doesn't say some badass line. He just pulled the trigger. My eyes slammed shut. The explosion momentarily deafened me, and every muscle in my body tensed. I braced for the impact of the bullet, the only sound that of my own ragged breathing. I waited. And waited. I swallowed hard and cracked open an eye. He was still standing there, still holding the gun, still as confident as before. Had his gun misfired? Why didn't he shoot again? I finally opened my eyes fully. "Wh-what the hell ...?" He and his henchmen were frozen. So was his gun. So was his bullet. It hung in mid-air, halfway between the gun barrel and my left breast. "Well, you appear to be in a bit of a quandary, don't you?" I gasped and flinched at the sound of the disembodied male voice that echoed through the alley. Everything around me was fading to darkness, save for a single circle of brightening light centered around me. "You seem to be at the end of your proverbial rope," said the voice with a bit of a chuckle. "Though I imagine that bullet is not quite as proverbial, is it?" The voice was followed by a soft crunching sound. I closed my eyes, paused, and opened them again, believing that would somehow dispel the illusion. "Who are you?" I demanded, my voice quavering as I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. I heard something shuffle in a darkness so absolute that I could no longer see the alley or my assailants. All that shared the spotlight was that bullet. His footsteps sounded odd. Every other step sounded like the clop of a hoof. "Lucky for you, I've learned how to stop time," said the voice in a tone that was both amused and smug. "Though it lasts only for a short while, so we ought to get down to business." My heart hammered even harder than it had when I stared down the barrel of the gun. "You still haven't answered my question! Who are you?" "Does it matter?" "It does matter!" I shouted. "How do I know I'm not already d-dead?" "I suppose you might as well be," said the entity in a casual, almost bored voice, followed by that crunching sound again. "In which case, what do you have to lose, hmm?" "You're not making any sense." "I could say the same for your life, my dear." I clenched my teeth and choked down my initial retort. "What would you know about it?" I finally said in a low, tense voice. "Oh, more than you could possibly know," said the entity with a chuckle. "But I am intrigued. What if you are dead? What would you be thinking about all this?" I was not particularly religious. My mother used to drag me to church on Sundays, but even she was never serious about it, and I didn't remember what denomination it was. "I don't know. Maybe this is some sort of judgment?" The entity's voice swelled, reverberating from every direction in the void. "YES, RACHEL DARROW, THIS IS INDEED THE MOMENT OF THY JUDGMENT. THOU HAST SINNED BEFORE US. WHAT DOST THOU HATH TO SAY FOR THYSELF?!" My heart leapt into my throat, not so much out of a need to kneel before a God I had never really worshiped as the simple fear of the unknown. My moment of terror dissolved into confusion when the entity burst out laughing. "Oh, my ... oh, dear ... the look on your face just now ... I simply do not understand how dear Luna never drove her subjects insane with that voice, but I suppose it does have its uses." And there was that damn crunching noise again. My hands clenched into fists. "Look, what is this all about?!" "You're about to die." I shivered as I glanced at the bullet. "Yeah, tell me something I don't know." "I once planted a seed that did not truly flourish for over one thousand years." "What??" "You said tell you something you didn't know," said the entity. "Bet you didn't know that!" "Stop playing games!" I cried. "How are you even doing this?" "Magic, of course." "I said--!" "Oh, yes, that's right," said the entity with a tired sigh. "You don't have that sort of thing in your world. Well, at least until I showed up. See? You get the possibility of a second chance and get to see some real magic. You lucky girl!" I closed my eyes and curled my fingers around the pendant, trying to calm myself. My eyes widened when I finally realized what he had said. "Wait, what? Second chance?" "Oh, did I forget to mention that?" My heart thumped. "What did you mean by second chance?" "Exactly as it sounds, my dear." I let out a ragged sigh. What would have happened if I had gotten to Michelle in time before she OD'ed? What if I had known she was doing it in the first place? What if I had learned from what had happened to my mother? "You can ... y-you can give me a chance to do this over again?" I said in a small voice as I trembled. "And fix what I did wrong?" "Oh, heavens, no." My head jerked up. "Huh? But I thought you said--" "What I mean, little girl, is that you get a chance at a fresh start. A complete wiping of the slate, a change of scenery, a new life. Oh, and most importantly, you get to not die." Was he serious? Was any of this even real? Or had that bullet already impacted with my heart, and I was lying in a pool of blood having this strange dream as my life ebbed away? "Be honest with yourself, Rachel," said the entity as I sensed it drawing closer to me. "You didn't really want a chance to repeat your same sorry existence again, did you?" I closed my eyes and turned my head away. "How the hell would you know?" "Because I've been watching you these past few months. I know you've been running away from how terrible you feel your life has become." I opened my eyes and narrowed them in the direction of the voice. "Did you cause any of that?!" "Me? Not at all! Your life was already so wonderfully chaotic when I arrived." I could not tell whether he was being sarcastic or not. It didn't matter. He was right. I was running. It was all I knew how to do anymore. Now he was offering exactly what I thought I wanted: an escape. "I don't want to start life again as a baby. I don't want to have to grow up again." "Oh, I would not dream of sending you back to such a drab human existence." One word. One damn word. It had slipped by unnoticed in my emotionally charged state, and he had been counting on it. "I just don't want something worse than what I had, and what the hell is that crunching noise?!" "Popcorn," said the entity, and a colorful cardboard box was thrust into the light. "Want some?" My eyes widened as I stared, not at the buttery contents of the box, but at what held it. It was a claw, like that of a large bird. Breathing hard, I pushed the box away with a shaking hand. "I suppose you require some conditions," said the entity, sounding bored. "Very well. You will keep your current age. You will keep your personality. You will keep your gender. Satisfied?" I was trembling. I still saw that claw in my mind's eye and remembered the sound of his footsteps. I had said I was not religious, but certain imagery was inescapable. "A-are you the devil?" The entity paused, snorted, and let out a gale of laughter. Popcorn suddenly showered me. "Oh, g-gracious, me," the entity gasped between peals of mirth. "Oh, my word ... y-you think I'm the devil ... th-that I'm your Satan ... oh, you really should have gone into stand up comedy!" "That's what you led me to believe!" I cried, my cheeks growing warm. "Now, don't let a certain yellow pegasus hear you say that about me. She just might scold you, and that's a fate worse than death." Yellow pegasus? What the hell was he talking about now? "Then what are you?" "Merely a Spirit of Chaos, my dear." "And what's so chaotic about this?" The entity gasped. "What's not chaotic about it? Plucking you from one life and dropping you in another where no one knows you and you know no one? Having you stumble about trying to figure out which end is up?" "Then how is it going to be any better than--?" "Than being dead approximately two seconds after time resumes?" "You're not giving me any choice." "Nonsense. There are always choices." "Then ... then I choose take the pendant with me." I expected the entity to refuse, but Michelle had me make that promise to her: don't let myself be parted from the pendant. I had been such a lousy friend towards her that I owed her that much, despite how it reminded me of my failure. Instead, the entity chuckled. "Now, why would I ever want to part you from it?" I could not tell whether his tone was amused or sinister. Or both. "So what will it be, Rachel?" the entity asked. "Death? Or a new life?" There were so many questions I should have asked and insisted he answer. Ultimately, I was a coward. I didn't want to die. I still doubted this was really happening, and it didn't matter what I chose. "I choose a new life," I said. "Wonderful!" said the entity in a joyous voice. "Oh, but I need to read you the fine print." "Huh? What fine--?" "This offer is presented as-is, with no warranties explicit or implied. No guarantee is made that offer will be suitable for any particular purpose, color, party, or fashion statement. Offer may not be sold, redistributed, transferred, relicensed, lent, thrown out, spindled, mutilated, repainted, regifted, reversed, or revised. Offer not valid in Utah, Alaska, or Tartarus. The Spirit of Chaos is not responsible for any damage, injury, embarrassment, mayhem, ruckus, fracas, or hilarity that may ensue with your transformation." My eyes widened. "Wait, what did you mean by transformation?" "Too late now, Rachel. Have a nice life!" I heard a snap, and everything went black. My spiral back to consciousness was like trying to swim through cotton candy which clung to the recesses of my mind. My senses started to return before I was fully lucid. Strangely, smell came back first. Fresh air, grass, flowers, and ... apples? I never had discerned odors like that so precisely in my life. I thought maybe I was dreaming, something to comfort me while I died. Then sound returned, a flapping noise like that of a big bird. A slightly raspy female voice, speaking a foreign language ... but, no ... I understood it. I was being asked if I was okay. I tried to respond but couldn't move. Something hard nudged me in the shoulder. I was on the ground on my stomach. My arms and legs felt weird. My mind was still fuzzy. Did that bird fly off? Where was the person who was talking to me? More sound up ahead. I felt the strangest damn sensation on my head, like something had moved of its own accord, and the sound became clearer. The noise was a harsh, irregular beat, too heavy for footfalls. My strength was starting to return. I tried to move. Why couldn't I feel my hands and feet? "Look, she's getting up!" said the voice from earlier. A persistent flapping noise accompanied it. "Oh, thank goodness!" came a whispery voice. "Maybe she was just asleep after all," came a high-pitched bubbly voice. "I dunno, she looks kinda outta it," said a voice with a distinct southern twang. "You okay there?" I rose on all fours. I tried to stand, but it was like I simply could not flex the right muscles to pull myself up. All that happened was my numb hands rose in the air a few inches and fell back down with an odd clopping noise. "What is she doing?" said the first voice. I opened my eyes. My mouth fell open as I stared. Four horse-like creatures stood before me, all staring at me. Well, three stood, one hovered. The cyan-furred rainbow-maned one had wings. So did the yellow creature with pink hair, but she was standing on the ground with the rest. At the front was an orange, wingless equine with blond hair and wearing a stetson. Another wingless one stood just behind her who was ... pink. Just pink with poofy hair. "She looks scared," the yellow equine said. The pink one stepped forward, smiling. "It's okay, we're not going to harm you." "You all right?" asked the orange one. "Are ya hurt?" My heart hammered. I tried to back up a step to put some space between us and nearly stumbled. I glanced down at myself. Oh, dear God. No, he couldn't have. He didn't. I wasn't human anymore. I was like them. I was some sort of weird periwinkle blue equine creature. I picked up a ... foreleg. It ended in a hoof. I swallowed hard and looked behind me. I had a tail, colored a ridiculously bright cherry red streaked with equally ludicrous signal-flare orange. I felt something move on my head. I lifted a hoof. My ears were on top of my head. This was surreal. I ... what? I had something sticking up from the middle of my forehead, like solid bone. Like ... "Something wrong with yer horn?" said the orange creature. My eyes widened. Horn? I was a unicorn? None of them were. Did I have wings, too? I looked at myself again. No wings. Thank God for small favors. I looked back at them. They wore faces that were a mix of concern and confusion, save for the hovering cyan pegasus. She was frowning at me, her forelegs folded across her chest. I lowered my hoof. "No, I'm not hurt." What did I just speak? It wasn't English. It must have been their language. I guess I should have been grateful for being given that knowledge, but it was jarring nonetheless. The cyan pegasus suddenly flew up to me, almost nose to ... I mean, muzzle to muzzle, causing me to flinch. "What were you doing in that apple grove?" she demanded. "Rainbow, you're scaring her!" the yellow pegasus chided softly. "What? It's just a simple question." The one called "Rainbow" frowned at me. "It oughta have a simple answer unless she's got something to hide!" "Are you new to Ponyville?" the pink one asked. I blinked. "Huh? P-Ponyville?" "Uh-huh! I don't remember seeing you in town, and I know everypony!" Unlike Rainbow, the pink ... pony ... seemed to be simply curious, even friendly. My mind was reeling too much for me to answer. Rainbow thrust a fore-hoof at me. "See, I knew it! So tell us, now! What were you doing in that apple grove?! You spying on us or something?" I frowned and tensed. "Spying? I wasn't spying!" "And what's that gold thing around your neck, huh?" "It's just a piece of costume jewelry!" "Then why does it have that, um, swirly-beard-star whatever-his-name-is on it?" "What are you talking about ..." I trailed off when I glanced down at the pendant. This was not the pendant I remembered. It was shaped the same, but it gleamed far more brightly, as if the faded fake gold plating had transmuted to real gold. Where it had been blank before, it now had a figure inscribed on it, a stylistic rendering of a unicorn with a beard and a star-filled cloak and pointed hat. "I don't ... it's just ..." my mind stuttered. "Yeah, I thought so! So tell us what you -- hey, let go!" The orange mare had grabbed Rainbow's tail in her teeth and pulled her back. "I'd like a little word with ya." Rainbow whirled around to face the orange mare."Well, go ahead." "In private." "But--!" "Now!" Rainbow clenched her teeth as the orange mare walked off. She flew after her friend until both drifted out of earshot, whereupon it appeared they had a rather animated discussion. I took a deep breath and placed a hoof over my pendant as if feeling the need to protect it. The yellow pony stepped closer to me. I felt a little more relaxed in her presence. Her timidity was a welcome contrast to Rainbow's brashness. "Please don't be upset with my friend Rainbow Dash," she said with a small smile. "She means well." I slowly lowered my hoof. "Um, okay." "Yeah, Dashie is really a sweetheart," said the pink pony. "Oh, and I'm Pinkie Pie!" "And I'm Fluttershy," said the yellow pony. "The earth pony with Dashie is Applejack. What's your name?" "My name?" I said. "I'm ... uh ... I ..." I swallowed hard. My heart thumped. I knew my name. Rachel Darrow. It had no translation into their language. I tried to sound it out in my old language, but nothing came out when I opened my mouth. It was like my brain had been rewired for the new language at the expense of the old. I had not just had my humanity taken away from me, but my identity as well. "Do you remember your name?" Fluttershy prompted in a concerned voice. "Um ... no, I guess I don't," I said. Both ponies gasped. "Oh, you poor thing," said Fluttershy. "Are you sure you didn't hit your head?" Pinkie asked. "I don't know," I said. "I don't think so, but ... I don't remember much of what happened." I hated lying, especially just to garner their sympathy, but it was better than refusing to answer and letting Rainbow's suspicions spill over to the others. I needed time to understand where I was and how to fit in. "Do you remember your parents?" Pinkie asked. "Are they around somewhere?" "No, my parents ... are not around anymore. My mother passed on a few years ago and my father ... um ..." Did they even have concepts like marriage and divorce here? "He ... he's really far away, and I haven't seen him in a very long time." "You've been living on your own?" said Pinkie. "Yeah, pretty much." "Oh, no! Who did your birthday parties then?" I stared. Was she serious? "Er ... no one?" "That's horrible! Nopony should have to go that long without a birthday party!" She was serious. Pinkie smiled. "At least you didn't miss your party for gaining your cutie mark." "My what? Um ... uh ... I mean ... yes, of course." Cutie mark? Fluttershy scraped the ground with a fore-hoof. "Um, I better tell the others about her amnesia," she said before she turned away. Had I made her suspicious of me, too, somehow? I watched her go. Only then did I notice the tattoo on her butt, that of three butterflies. Pinkie had one that was three balloons. Applejack had three apples. Rainbow had a cloud-and-lightning-bolt. I glanced at myself. I had no such mark at all. This was almost too insane to be believed. All that prevented me from thinking this was just a dream was that I would never come up with something as ludicrous as becoming a pastel pony with day-glo hair. "Can I ask how old you are?" Pinkie asked. I considered lying and stating I was older, but I had already pushed their credulity to the limit. "I'm sixteen." "Oo, I thought so!" "Is ... is that bad?" "Not at all. In fact, it's wonderful! It means if you don't have any relatives who can take you in, you'll be fostered to a pony who won't miss celebrating your birthdays, and you won't have to live out on your own anymore with nopony to love and cuddle you." She wrapped her forelegs around herself as if hugging herself. "Isn't that great?" I forced a smile. "Um, yeah, great." Maybe someone else would have jumped at that chance, but that sort of arrangement was something I felt had passed me by a long time ago. If I couldn't have my mother or my best friend back, I wanted to be on my own. It was better for everyone that way. I wanted to head off any more questions I couldn't answer yet. "Hey, um, Pinkie, can you tell me a little about Ponyville? Is it a large place?" "Oh, no, it's a pretty small town," said Pinkie. "Not like the big cities of Manehattan or Baltimare." Did she say ...? Good grief. Welcome to my puntastic pony adventure. "I like it that way. It makes it so much easier to know everypony." That's exactly what I did not want. I liked big cities because they were (usually) easier to lose oneself in. Or in this case, stay hidden from nosy ponies. Maybe if the big cities were not too far away, I could hitch a ride there. If this world even had cars. If hitchhiking were not punishable by death. "I'll bet you're from a big city!" Pinkie said. "Why is that?" "Because you got an eeeensie bit of a Manehattan accent." What I had was a slight New York accent. I had lived there all my life until my mother died when I was thirteen. "Does that ring any bells?" Pinkie asked. "It might." "Which bells?" "Huh? I don't follow." "There's this big clock tower in one part of Manehattan that has this really deep gong-like sound when it goes off. Then there's the tiny high-pitched bells of the little ice cream carts that zip down the main avenue at lunchtime. Then there's the big, brassy bells they use at the street festivals near the park." "Um, what does that have to do with anything?" I asked. "I thought if you could remember what bells you heard you'd know what part of Manehattan you came from!" Pinkie said, her smile widening. That was ... almost logical, in a weird sort of way. I caught motion out of the corner of my eye. First Rainbow then Fluttershy flew off before Applejack turned and trotted back over. "We're gonna get ya some help. We'll get ya to the hospital and have the doctors there look ya over and see if they can get yer memory back." Having doctors poke and prod me was the last thing I wanted, but I had little choice. I smiled and nodded. "Thank you." Dear God, what did I get myself into? > Chapter 2 - First Impressions > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I stumbled only once on the way to the cart that was to take me to the hospital. Applejack caught me with one foreleg without breaking stride. She seemed to make up for her lack of wings in raw strength. Perhaps it ran in the family, for the stallion who pulled the cart was enormous, at least compared to my stature. I think he was Applejack's brother. I also caught a glimpse of a little yellow filly with red hair and a huge bow. She appeared surprised when she looked at me for some reason. Applejack traveled to the hospital with me. The air was warm and the sun just a touch hot. It appeared to be noon or early afternoon, probably summer. Pony-powered vehicles passing the other way kicked up dust from the dirt road which skirted a town I assumed was Ponyville. The quaint thatched-roof houses could have fooled me into thinking I had simply gone back in time. The trees converted into living spaces while somehow allowing the tree itself to thrive, however, gave me the sense of having stepped into a fairy tale. It became more surreal when I gazed at the mountain range just past the town and the huge castle built high into the side of one of the taller peaks. As I stared, I realized it was more like an entire city built as palace-like gravity-defying spires. It did not help in making this world seem any more real. I still half-expected to wake up from this extended dream. I was steadier when we got to the hospital. Walking on hooves still felt weird, but at least I didn't have to re-learn basic locomotion. I also had no idea what to do with this damn tail, other than hope it hid my girly bits. Not that any ponies seemed to care about walking around naked. Well, of course not. They're ponies. I'm a pony. God, that thought made me shiver. Despite the nineteenth-century look outside, the hospital looked more or less like any modern facility I might find on Earth. Rainbow Dash was there, accompanied by a unicorn in a nurse's outfit. I stopped dead and gasped when I saw the glowing clipboard floating in mid-air before her. "Something the matter?" asked the nurse. I stared. It took me a moment to see that the nurse's horn was also glowing the same color. Rainbow frowned at me. "Yeah, what is with you, huh?" "N-nothing," I said. "I'm fine." "Ya sure about that?" Applejack asked. "Ya looked like ya had a fright jus' now." Oh, you mean from seeing basic physics defied right in front of me? "Sorry, just upset about what happened. Sorry I'm putting you through all this bother." "You're not a bother at all," said the nurse with a gentle smile. "Please, come with me." She glanced at Rainbow and Applejack. "Oh, are either of you her parent or guardian?" "That's jus' it, ma'am," said Applejack. "She don't have none and don't remember what other relatives she might have." "I'd prefer an adult to remain with her while she's examined." "I'll do it," both Rainbow and Applejack said at the same time. The nurse sighed and rolled her eyes. "I should do it," said Rainbow. "Somepony needs to keep an eye on her." "Like hay you will," said Applejack. "She was found on my land." "I can react faster than you!" "To what? Ya expectin' Tirek to break outta Tartarus in the middle of the exam?" "Rggh! You know what I'm talking about, AJ! The little problem Twilight told us about?" "Can I have a say in this, please?" I said. "Anything to get going, dear," said the nurse. "If I have a choice, I'd prefer Applejack." Rainbow's frown deepened. I glared at her, not caring what it made her think. She was irritating as hell, and I was at the limit of my tolerance. "I'd be happy to," said Applejack as she trotted forward, smiling. "Thank ya kindly fer puttin' yer trust in me." It had little to do with trust. I just wanted to get this over with, and I wanted to get as far away from Rainbow Dash as possible. I was examined by a brown unicorn stallion who introduced himself as Doctor Horse (oh, God, these names). He did everything I'd expect from a human physician. He listened to my heart and lungs, checked reflexes (I just had more of them to check, including the base of my tail; wish he would've warned me he was going to do that). He checked my head for any obvious trauma, and shined a light in my eyes. Only here did he deviate. He tapped my horn several times with some sort of crystal wand. The device rang like a tuning fork. He seemed to linger at this for a bit. Even though he frowned briefly, he never mentioned anything was amiss. "So far, miss, you seem quite healthy," said the doctor. "I see no obvious signs of injury or trauma. I'll order a set of X-rays to be quite sure." X-rays? What the hell was the tech level of this world? "And you say you cannot remember your name? Or exactly what happened to you?" "Yes, that's right." "What can you remember about yourself?" My mind raced. "Um ... I, uh ... well, I had been living on the streets ... I mean, on my own for a few years now." Yes, that was another lie. I was really on my own for a few months, but I didn't want to try to translate my experience with Michelle into my manufactured past. Applejack stepped forward. "Pinkie Pie said ya thought ya might be from Manehattan." "Yes, but I don't remember where," I said quickly. I explained what I had told Pinkie about my parents. "Ah, I thought I heard a faint Manehattan accent," said Doctor Horse. "Well, that gives us a place to start. I can have Mayor Mare inquire there to see if there are any missing foal reports. Since you said your parents were no longer around, were you being fostered by any chance?" Back on Earth I had been living with my aunt, but she didn't give a shit what I did or where I went, so it had been some time before she had reported I was missing. "I don't think so." "Hmm." "Um, Pinkie said something about being fostered here if you couldn't find my relatives." "Oh, well, let's not worry about that now." "Can you humor me, please? What happens if you do have to foster me?" "Well, that's jus' the thing, sugarcube," said Applejack. "This here town don't get much call fer fosterin'. They'd hafta put out a call fer volunteers." "Please, don't worry yourself over it, my dear," said the doctor. "I guarantee you will not be turned loose on the streets to fend for yourself." I might have actually preferred that, despite how little I knew of this place. Yes, it was stupid, and in retrospect, I was glad I did not go that route. But I was more scared than I was letting on. "In the meantime, where will I be staying?" "We're getting a room ready for you here at the hospital so we can run a few more tests," said the doctor. "Oh, that reminds me. I have one more part of the examination to conduct. A magic test." My eyes widened. "Magic test?" I said in a small voice. "Not to worry, I won't be asking you to cast any sort of complex spells." My heart hammered. I was supposed to be able to do magic? Doctor Horse held up a quill in his hoof. "Just levitate this for a few moments to confirm proper thaumic flow through your horn." So that was what the nurse had been doing. I had no idea how to do this. Or was I over-thinking it? Was it just like walking as a quadruped, just another thing that had been hard-wired into my new pony body? "Something the matter?" the doctor asked in a gentle voice. "Um, no, just ... I need to concentrate." I stared at the quill and simply willed it to move, but nothing happened. I tried imagining myself reaching out and grabbing it and pulling it towards me. I flinched when a spark flicked down in front of my eyes. The quill stayed put. "Are you having trouble with your magic, miss?" asked the doctor. I tried not to let my frustration and guilt show on my face, but one of Applejack's eyebrows rose slightly. I felt my ears drawing back. I had no idea how to control the damn things. They must have been broadcasting my emotions all this time. "I'm just tired," I said. "And a bit hungry, too. Maybe we can do this later?" Doctor Horse smiled and lowered the quill. "Very well, miss." He looked past me just as I heard the clop of hooves behind me. "Ah, is her room ready, Nurse Redheart?" I turned my head as another nurse-attired pony -- an earth pony this time -- entered the examination room. "Yes, doctor. Is she ready to go?" "Yes. Please get her something to eat if you would as well." "Of course. Right this way, miss." I hopped down from the examination table. I tried not to cringe at the noise my hooves made when they hit the tiled floor. I felt completely helpless, trapped in a body I hated and didn't understand. No amount of pony medical technology was going to help that. "Hey, doc, can I have a word with ya?" I heard Applejack say softly to the doctor as I was led away. I glanced back to see Applejack jerking her head away from me. I did not see her face long enough to know whether the look she wore was one of concern or wariness. Despite the colorful nature of the pony population, the hospital room was like any other on Earth: drab and fairly unadorned. Nurse Redheart did open the blinds, which let in enough light to make things seem less sepulchral, but it didn't help my mood. I was brought lunch. I was not one for vegetables, but my new equine biology said otherwise. I could smell it from across the room, and it made my stomach rumble. At least the food was recognizable: carrots, broccoli, celery, and raw mushrooms. "Is there anything else you need, dearie?" asked the nurse in a kind voice. I stared down at the tray for a moment. No utensils? Was that an oversight? I was too afraid to ask. "Um, no, that's fine, thank you." "I'll check on you later, then." I watched her go. She manipulated the door with ease using a single hoof. I picked up my own fore-hooves and stared at them. How was I expected to do anything useful with these damn things other than walking? Was I expected to use that levitation magic instead? I stared down at the tray. I was hungry enough to just dip my muzzle into it, but I loathed the idea of eating like some dumb animal. Maybe my humanity had been ripped away from me, but I still had my dignity. My mother didn't raise me to be an uncivilized lout. Even when I lived on the streets, I had tried to retain some sense of civility. How hard could this be? I knew how to walk, how to talk, and I could smell and hear things better like I'd expect from being an equine. Everything in my brain had been rewired to work a pony body, so why not this? Maybe I was just nervous earlier and needed to try it without an audience. I started with something small, one of the button-shaped mushrooms. I tried focusing intently on it, willing it to rise. I saw another spark flit in front of my eyes. It must have come from my horn. I tried it again. Still just a spark and nothing else. Maybe it was brighter this time. Was there a muscle somewhere I needed to flex? I tried a few more times. I felt a vague tingling in my head, near the base of my horn. More sparks flew. I had to do this. Already there were more questions raised than I could answer. I was surprised no one was making a fuss about my lack of cutie mark. Then again, that little yellow filly didn't have one, either, but she was much younger. My repeated failures garnered as much desperation as frustration. When I finally felt the tingling move into my horn, I thought I was close. I tried to repeat what I had done to trigger that and simply pushed hard. A strange sensation abruptly surged through my horn. The entire tray glowed pastel blue and was hurtled against the opposite wall. A sharp clang made my ears ring and draw down against my head as food was scattered to the far corners of the room. The tray clattered to the floor. I swallowed hard when I heard hoof-beats race to the door. An alarmed Nurse Redheart flung the door open. "It was an accident!" I cried. "I'm sorry!" "Whatever happened, dearie?" the nurse asked, her voice betraying a mix of concern and wariness. "I ... um ... h-had some trouble with my magic." "It's okay," the nurse said with a small smile. "These things happen. I'll just inform the doctor you're having some issues with controlling your magic." That was the last thing I had wanted, but I forced a smile. "Um, could you bring me another tray of food, please? I didn't get a chance to eat yet. I promise not to try to use my magic again." "Certainly. I'll also get somepony to clean up the mess." "Thank you." Nurse Redheart cast a lingering gaze at me before slipping out of the room. I dropped my face into my hooves. I had just made everything that much worse. With the next tray, I did what I should have done in the first place, which was just swallow my dignity and eat like an animal. The veggies were far more tasty than I ever remembered them being, though almost instinctively I knew that they were not as good as they could be. I supposed lousy hospital food was a universal. Not long after I had finished, I was taken to X-ray and learned why it was so hard to figure out these ponies' tech level. They used a combination of magic and tech. The X-ray machine looked a little similar to a picture I had seen once of some of the first cathode tubes, but at its center was a large, many-faceted crystal, and the technicians were exclusively unicorns. I was directed to sit down on a large cushion with my head in profile against a flat plate. Sitting on my haunches felt both comfortable and weird. I was grateful for the padding, though. Nurse Redheart retreated to the door as one of the unicorn technicians walked -- or was that trotted? -- over to me. "Now just sit still, miss, and this won't take more than a few minutes." "All right." "Oh, and I will need you to remove your jewelry, please." I stared. "Huh?" "Your pendant." I placed my hoof over it before I realized what I had done. "Oh, um, do I have to? I mean, you're taking pictures of my head, right?" "It's standard procedure, miss." That made perfect sense. It was the same way on Earth. Yet I pressed my hoof more firmly into the pendant. "What will you do with it?" "We'll just set it off to the side here," said the unicorn, pointing a hoof at a nearby table. I didn't want to remove it. I could not put my finger on ... put my hoof on, dammit ... what disturbed me so. Was I afraid they were going to steal it? Perhaps Rainbow Dash had managed to convince the staff my pendant was dangerous. Even on Earth I tended to wear the pendant when I slept. Perhaps I had taken my promise to Michelle too seriously. Yet it was my only real link to my past and my humanity. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I struggled to turn the chain around with these stupid hooves. How the hell did the non-unicorn ponies get anything done? I finally figured out that the part further back from the edge wanted to stick to things. Not like adhesive, but more like static cling. Though that wasn't a perfect analogy either. Even after figuring this out, I could not get the clasp undone. "Do you need assistance, miss?" said the technician. I sighed and dropped my hooves. "Yes, please." The unicorn's horn glowed, and so did the chain of my pendant. I felt it lift from my neck, but it did not slip off. The unicorn frowned. "Something wrong?" I asked. The pendant chain settled back against me. "You must have a locking spell on it." "Huh?" "Could you dispel it, please?" "I-I don't have a ... a locking spell on it." I didn't even know what that was! The unicorn exchanged a look with one of the other techs before turning back to me. "Allow me to try again, then." Both horn and pendant glowed, brighter this time. Still, the pendant did not slip off. "You are quite sure you do not have this magically locked?" asked the unicorn. "I'm positive!" I considered admitting that I didn't know how to do such a spell, but what if that sort of thing were common? "Because I simply cannot remove it." "I don't know what to tell you." "Can you try to remove it again, miss?" Maybe if I fiddled with the clasp for the next hour I might be able to work it loose, but I honestly did not want to. My silence must have been taken as further recalcitrance, as the technician gave an exasperated sigh, "Fine, we'll just go ahead and do it with the pendant on. Face forward, please, and do not move." I sighed and did as he said. I flicked my eyes over to the door. Nurse Redheart was still there, but with a look of concern on her face. I could not tell if it was for me or for herself. Soon after I was returned to my room, I got my first real look at myself. It was unintentional, the result of having to deal with another biological urge. At least that went off without a hitch. Being female, I was already used to having to sit down to do that sort of business anyway. At least toilet paper stuck to hooves better than pendant clasps. The bathroom had a mirror. I glanced at it out of habit and just stared. Despite already knowing I was a pony, actually seeing it reflected in my face made my heart lurch. I felt like I was looking at an alien. The horn stuck up from the middle of a curly mess that was my mane, which shared the same silly clown-makeup color as the tail. I swear, it was so bright I felt it had to be dyed. My eyes were large and dark blue. My ears stuck up from either side of my head. I turned my head from side to side. I looked ridiculous, like some eight-year-old girl's fantasy of a pony rather than a real creature. I frowned. My hair looked flyaway in places, matted in others. The light fur that covered the rest of my body looked unkempt. Maybe all I needed was a bath. Then I could look even more like a cutesy unicorn pony toy. By the time I had returned to bed, Nurse Redheart opened the door and peeked in. "Dearie, do you feel up to some visitors, or would you prefer to rest?" I was tired, but I was too agitated to fall asleep. With it already afternoon, I thought it best to wait until night to sleep, and the intervening time would just be filled with boredom anyway. "Is one of them a pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane?" "No, dearie, Rainbow Dash is not here. It's Applejack, Fluttershy, and Princess Twilight." My eyes widened. Did she say princess? "Is that okay?" the nurse prompted. Why was she even asking me? What was I going to do, tell the local royalty no? Did I need to get out of bed to bow properly? "Uh, sure," I said in a small voice. She smiled and opened the door fully, gesturing towards the hall. In trotted three ponies, while Nurse Redheart lingered in the background near the door. I recognized two right away, and between them was a lavender-coated unicorn with dark blue hair with a single pink and purple stripe. Wait, she had wings, too? What the hell was she? "Hello, there," said the lavender creature, smiling. "Um, hi, Your Highness," I replied, my voice quavering slightly. Applejack snickered and Fluttershy smiled softly. Did the princess just blush? "Oh, um, please, just call me Twilight," said the princess. She was not wearing a crown, tiara, or any other adornments. The only thing really remarkable about her were the wings and the red star surrounded by smaller white stars on her flank. I wished I understood the significance of those marks. "I'm really sorry about what happened to you," said Twilight. "I hope the doctors here are able to help restore your memory." I smiled weakly, mostly forced. "I hope so, too." "I heard from Applejack that you think you're from Manehattan," said Twilight. "I have a friend who loves to visit there on occasion." "I've been there myself once or twice," said Applejack. "Bit too fast-paced fer a country girl like me." I debated how much to try to graft my Earth life onto this world. I felt I had to say something so I wouldn't be seen as evasive. I could not afford to make a princess suspicious of me. "Yeah, I lived in Manehattan for a while, until my mother passed on." I thought my voice had remained steady, but sympathetic looks greeted my words. "And you don't recall what brought you to Ponyville?" Twilight asked. Sure, this entity who may or may not be the devil just snapped his fingers and sent me here because it satisfied his notion of chaos. Yeah, that would go over well, wouldn't it? "I really don't, I'm sorry." "It's okay, we just don't want to see you hurt any further." "We really do want to see you get better," said Fluttershy. For a moment, I could see some of Michelle in that pegasus. Fluttershy's smile suddenly faltered a bit. "Thanks," I said in a small voice. "Which is why I wanted to talk to you about something," said Twilight. I tensed. "What is it?" "Would you mind telling me a little about your pendant?" "What do you want to know?" "I'm curious as to how you came about it." "But it's just a piece of costume jewelry." "Yes, that's what Applejack said," said Twilight. "And it is very lovely. It also may be rather rare." "Rare?" "The image on it, that is." I looked back down at the pendant, turning it over until the image of the unicorn was visible. "Oh, that. I ... I didn't think it was special." Twilight's eyes widened. "You didn't?" "Uh, Twi?" said Applejack. "It's only one of the most important unicorns who ever lived," said Twilight with a chuckle. I had no way to lie out of this. I gave her a blank look. "I mean, who doesn't know about Starswirl the Bearded?" "Mebbe me, for one?" said Applejack. "Or me," said Fluttershy. Twilight gave them a cross look. "Well, of course you know about him. I told you all about ... um ... oh." "Until ya did, we had no idea," said Applejack. "I was surprised Rainbow Dash remembered," said Fluttershy. Twilight blushed again and gave me a sheepish look. "Yes, um, my apologies. I just get excited when I find something that may be from him." While I was grateful for the help from the other ponies, I still did not like where this was going. "I don't think this is from him, though. I got it from my mother originally." "Originally?" said Twilight. "Did it change hooves at some point?" Dammit. One stupid slip of the tongue. "I don't want to go into it," I said in a low voice. Fluttershy's face became sad. I wish she would stop looking at me. I felt like her eyes were seeing into my head somehow, just like Michelle could sometimes. "Oh, um," Twilight said. "Well, it may be very important that you tell us who has had this pendant since then. And perhaps before your mother had it." "Why is this so important to you?" I was trying to not to get angry at someone who was royalty, but she was irritating me. "I think we should tell her the truth, Twi," said Applejack. "It's only fair." "Yes, you're right," said Twilight before she turned back to me. "I have reason to believe that your pendant is infused with magic." "Wait, what??" I cried. "Given it may be related to Starswirl the Bearded, it's likely benign, but it's strong enough that it may be interfering with your own magic use. For all we know, it may be related to your memory loss." How was I supposed to explain this? Oh, this can't possibly be some magic artifact because it's just a keepsake from another world, and, by the way, I'm an alien who only looks like a pony. "What do you want to do with it?" "All I want to do is study it for a bit," said Twilight. "But that means we would have to find a means to remove it from you." "You want to take it from me?" "I want to help you find a way to remove it." "What are you talking about? I can remove it if I want." Twilight tilted her head. "You can?" "Of course I can," I said. Once I learned how to use my hooves better, I was sure I could undo the clasp myself. "Why did you think I couldn't?" "Just from what happened when they tried to take your X-ray." "I have no idea what was going on then," I said, which was the unvarnished truth. Twilight paused. "Well, all right, if you can remove it yourself, would you be willing to part with it so I can examine it?" My heart pounded. "You'll examine it here?" "I would have to take it back to my castle where I have the proper setup." I pressed my hoof against it. "No." "Please, sugarcube, listen to Twilight," said Applejack. "She's only concerned for your safety," said Fluttershy. "This is just a keepsake from my mother!" I cried. "It was a gift. It m-means a great deal to me." "I promise I will return it to you," said Twilight. "As soon as I can determine what kind of magic is contained inside it." "But there is no magic. Why do you think there would be? What makes you an expert?" Applejack gave me an odd look, one eyebrow slightly raised. Twilight chuckled softly. "Well, even though my title these days is Princess of Friendship, I am still technically the Princess of Magic as well." Oh, dandy. I just did the equivalent of arguing physics with Einstein. I didn't know what to do. I was surprising myself with my attitude towards the pendant. Part of me wanted nothing more to do with my memories of Michelle, that I needed to make a complete break with my past. I already faced the daunting task of understanding this world, and now I had to sort out my own feelings as well. "I don't mean to be difficult, but I am really tired," I said. "Can I have a little more time to myself to think on this?" Twilight looked dubious, but Nurse Redheart -- bless her -- came to my rescue. "Princess, perhaps if you came back in the morning when she's had a good night's sleep?" Twilight nodded. "I am sorry if I caused you distress. I do just want to be your friend." I wanted to believe her. What was it she had called herself earlier? The Princess of Friendship? Or had I misheard that? "It's okay, but I am feeling a bit frazzled." "Have a good rest then, and I'll talk to you again tomorrow," said Twilight with a smile as she turned away. "Hope ya get to feelin' better soon!" Applejack called out. "Please, take care of yourself," said Fluttershy. They really seemed like they cared, though Fluttershy sounded a little subdued, even for her. It made me feel all the worse for lying to them. I needed to figure out how to use either my magic or my hooves better. That way, if I ever ran into that so-called Spirit of Chaos again, I could throw something appropriately large and heavy at his damn head. > Chapter 3 - Deepening Confusion > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The air is cool and damp, and the street lamps cast pale circles on the wet streets. The rain did nothing to wash away the grime, as if the buildings themselves somehow ooze the stuff like some urban infection. I cannot walk more than a few feet without feeling it attach itself to me like a leech, as if branding me. If my mother ever found out I came here, she would be horrified. But, no, she ... she's dead. I have to keep reminding myself of that, even after three years. Yet I don't want to be here, either. I look down at myself and gasp. I raise an arm and stare at my hand. It IS a hand! And I have feet again. Not hooves. Hooves? That's a bizarre thing to think. What am I on? That's just it, I'm not. Somehow people think I'm on something, and I have no idea how that rumor started. It eventually got back to Michelle. Michelle! That's why I'm here! I haven't been able to reach her all day. She won't respond to emails or texts. God, I wish my aunt would've given Michelle some money out of my trust so she didn't have to live in this part of town. I don't care how much Michelle wants to help the community; she doesn't have to live inside the drug lords' territory. My heart is racing. I'm already assuming the worst. I race to the front door, trying to avoid stepping in disgusting detritus, everything from discarded fast-food meals to crack vials. I clamber up the stairs to the third floor. I utter a gasp as the hallway stretches out before me. And stretches ... And stretches ... I start running, but Michelle's apartment just gets further away. I hear crying. Wailing. Begging for mercy. Is she getting beat up? Did one of the addicts she was helping go psychotic on her? Oh God, I have to get to her! I can't reach her apartment! Why can't I reach it?! "Why are you doing this to me?!" Michelle's voice wails, and I feel an icy chill. "I thought you were my friend!" I'm going to fail again. I can never get there. It always stays out of reach. It-- OH, MY GOD, WHAT?! I-I'm floating ... no, ROCKETING down the hallway. My feet are not touching the floor. I'm cocooned by a weird dark blue glow. In seconds, I'm deposited before the apartment door. "Go to her," a strange voice suddenly echoes around me. "Now!" I'm filled with a confidence I never experienced before, and I kick the door, knowing it will yield. It slams open as if hit with the force of a pile-driver. The moment is quickly gone, and a strange sense of disorientation sweeps over me, the scene wavering for a few seconds before resolving itself into cruel clarity. The living room floor is covered in drug paraphernalia, but strangely, there is no pattern to it. Just bits of this and that, like someone decided to take a sample of everything one could possibly buy on the street. There is a brown stain on the sofa and carpet. I recoil from it until I sniff the air. Chocolate? A mug lays on its side on the floor, but I ignore this when my gaze lands on the fallen teenage girl with scraggly blonde hair, her body clad in a disheveled nightgown. She rolls over on her back, gasping as if unable to breathe. Her eyes are sunken, like she has not slept in days. Oh, God, she's dying. "Michelle!" I scream, dropping to my knees at her side. "No, please ..." She turns her milky eyes to me. "Wh-why ... why didn't you ..." "I'm sorry I didn't get here earlier!" She coughs and closes her eyes. "I-I ... sh-should have told me ... I c-could have helped." "But I wasn't doing drugs!" I screech. I look around. "Oh, God ... but ... y-you were?!" Michelle stares up at the ceiling, clutching the pendant between her breasts. "I-I can?? ... N-no ... who are you ... what ..." I'm in tears, struggling to make sense of this. "Michelle, please, I'll get help, I'll c-call nine-one-one, I ..." Michelle is paying me no mind. She's too far gone. My heart sinks into my stomach. She's dying, and I can't stop it. "Yes ... I-I will ..." Michelle rasps. "P-please don't apologize ... I ... y-yes ... Rachel ..." I'm almost too hysterical to answer. "Huh? Wh-what??" "Take the pendant back." "No ... no, Michelle, I gave to you as a sign of our friendship." I swallowed hard. "A f-friendship I just fucked up ..." "Take it!" Michelle wheezes. "Don't ... d-don't give it up! Don't be p-parted from it. Don't ever let it be taken from you!" "B-but ... I don't ... MICHELLE!!" My scream simply echoes into the distance as Michelle breathes her last. The apartment is gone. I'm on the street again. Feet pound behind me. I can't run fast enough. My sides ache and my heart is about to burst. My legs are lead. I turn down an alley, but it is a dead end. "End of the road for you, bitch." I gasp and whirl around. This ... this is new. I never had this happen before, but then again, I never got into the apartment before, either. It's the gunman from the alley. I back up until my spine strikes a brick wall. He steps up to me, pulling out his gun. I whimper and slide down the wall. "You fuck up a life, you get yours fucked up in return." I cower and heave. I have no more tears to give. "THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH." I gasp as the voice reverberates through the dreamscape, and the heavens suddenly burst into gorgeous starry brilliance. A huge silver moon hangs in the sky, far larger than I ever remember it being. My eyes widen as a graceful winged creature of deep midnight blue emerges from it. With her horse-like body, she looks like a pegasus, but ... no, she has a long tapering horn, which glows and fires a bolt of light down upon the frozen gunman, dissipating him like mist. I'm staring in both confusion and awe as the creature lands upon her hooves before me, a crescent moon upon her flanks. She folds her wings and regards me with teal eyes. Her mane and tail flow like liquid night, stars sparkling in their depths. "I am most curious," the strange equine says. "You are a very unfamiliar manner of creature. Unless you are dreaming of yourself in this form? Do you wish me to dispel it as well?" "I-I have no idea what you mean," I sputter. "This dream isn't going the way it usually does." "You have had this before? What is different?" "Getting into the apartment. And the gunman. He wasn't there before. But ... this is my first dream after I was ... uh ..." "After what?" I realize I'm dreaming? That's never happened, either! "I am sorry I must ask you this," said the equine, her voice becoming more serious. "But is there something you need to tell me?" "I don't understand." "About your real nature," she says, taking another step towards me, her eyes narrowing slightly. "What you really are." My eyes widen. My heart races. "What is it?" says the equine. "What is frightening you?" I bolt around her and run out of the alley. "No, please, wait!" the equine cries. "I only wish to understand! I only--" I bolted upright in bed and panted into the moonlit room. My eyes darted about, as if expecting to find that strange creature standing there, but I was alone. I glanced towards the window and gasped, my eyes wide. The moon! It had ... It ... No, I must have imagined it. For a moment it looked like the shadowy visage of a horned pony lay superimposed upon it. It was just the same silvery disk it had been before. Still larger than what I was used to on Earth, but inert just the same. Only when I laid back down did I realize I was clutching the pendant in my trembling hooves. "Calm down," I said in a quavering voice. "Just a dream. Just that same stupid dream." Except it was not the same. It had always ended with me screaming in frustration that I could not reach Michelle's door. The strange equine was new, too. Was she supposed to be another pony princess? Why had I not simply seen Twilight instead? Why conjure another out of thin air? Speculation was making me more upset. It was just a stupid fucking dream. It had no more relevance than any I had on Earth. I was still dead tired, but I had a lot of trouble getting back to sleep. Morning sunlight streamed into the room the next time I opened my eyes. I was relieved to have slept through the rest of the night, but not so much to find I was still a pony. I was still really bleary, and I hoped this world had coffee or some other form of morning pick-me-up. The door was suddenly thrown open, and a bright pink pony cried in a sing-song voice, "Good morning!" I must have jumped a foot off the mattress. Screw caffeine, that woke me up fast. Still, it took me a moment to recognize her. Only when she bounced into the room, and I had a better look at her poofy mane did I remember. And I mean bounced, like her hooves were made out of rubber. "Um, morning, Pinkie," I said. "I didn't know they allowed visitors this early." Pinkie giggled. "Oh, I'm not a visitor! Well, technically I'm visiting you since I'm in here and not out there, but I'm a volunteer at the hospital, so I can visit special fillies like you. Well, volunteer-visit. Visit-volunteer? Volunteering to visit! No, wait, visiting while volunteering, maybe?" "I get it!" I cried. "Oh, good, maybe you can explain it to me later! Anyway, I have something very special for the very special filly." Dear God, I did not want to contemplate what she had in mind. I guessed she was supposed to cheer up the underage patients, I got that, but she was exuberance on overload. "I really appreciate it, but I don't actually need anything right now." "Oh, but you most definitely need my little surprise." "But I have everything I need--" "But you surely don't have this!" I was struggling not to be angry with her. I was not a morning person in the best of times. "Why do you think I need something?" "Because of how unwelcome your arrival in Ponyville was!" "You don't need to make me feel welcome." I supposed I felt like being welcomed was akin to accepting my transformation. Not logical, perhaps, but my emotions were still a little raw. She shook her head. "No, it's far more than that! And you really really need it!" "No, I don't." "Yes, you do!" "Really, I don't." "But you do!" "No! I don't!" "No, you don't!" "Argh, yes, I do!" She giggled. "See, I knew you really did need it!" My brain sputtered. My God, did she really do something straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon? And I fell for it?! Taking shameless advantage of my shock, Pinkie bounced into the center of the room and spun around to face me. I nearly did a double-take when she suddenly had a top hat on her head and one of her forelegs wrapped around a cane. Where the hell did they come from?? No. No way. She was not going to ... The day had dawned so wonderfully warm and bright ... Yes. Yes she was. She was going to sing. ... and not a care to be had down on the old apple farm. This must have been planned by the whole damn staff, for there was music to go along with her lyrics. I just couldn't tell exactly where it was coming from (or for that matter, the spotlight that suddenly shone down on her). But the ponies were stirred by a worrisome sight for they feared a fair filly had come to great harm. When she stirred, it was to a great relief and they were glad this filly was well. But then they learned to their shock and grief That of the filly's memories nothing rang a bell. Wait, this was about me? She was left without a single care She was left to take a great fall This is terrible and simply not fair! This is not a fine welcome, no, not at all! Where were her balloons, her party, her cake? Where were the ponies to welcome her to their town? No, to this an apology we must make! For her smile that instead was a frown! We are sorry, dear filly, for doctors and nurses in great profusion We are sorry, dear filly, for tests and tests and yet more still So please, dear filly, let there be absolutely no confusion That you, dear filly, are most welcome in Ponyville! And with the end of her song came a hail of confetti, materializing out of thin air. I was left utterly speechless at first, mostly from the sheer absurdity of the experience. "Um ... I ... th-thank you," I finally said in a somewhat stunned voice. "That was nice." Seriously, it was. Silly and over-the-top, but I had the feeling that was just par for the course with her. She bounced back to me, all smiles. "Aww, I'm glad you liked it. And I'm sure if Dashie were here, she'd apologize, too, for the way she treated you." Rainbow Dash likely had about as much chance of apologizing as I did spontaneously turning back into a human, but Pinkie wanting to apologize on behalf of that pegasus was sort of touching. "I need to get going now, but -- oh!" She drew back from me when her ears suddenly twitched and her left foreleg jerked. "Something the matter?" "Ear twitch and leg jerk!" "Um, okay?" "That means you're going to get a new visitor you've never seen before. My Pinkie Sense is never wrong!" Pinkie Sense? Okay, I was not taking that bait. This world was bizarre enough. "Need anything else before I go?" Pinkie asked. "No, I think I'm good." "Okey-dokey!" She bounced away from me and paused at the door. "Now I hope you get your memory back soon, or I'll just have to come up with a name for you myself!" I managed a small smile despite inwardly cringing at the prospect of Pinkie naming me. She waved before departing in another cascade of confetti. Just where did she keep all that stuff?? Once I recovered from Pinkie Pie's visit, I had a chance to do what I had intended to do when I had first awakened. With some effort, I manipulated the pendant chain so that the clasp was in front. My heart was thumping as I narrowed my eyes, trying to get my hooves to move with a precision I was not sure was ever intended. Yet after the third try, there was a faint click, and the clasp was undone. I closed my eyes and uttered a sigh of relief, then mentally chided myself for letting Twilight get to me. For awhile she had me worried that perhaps I indeed could not remove it myself. The door opened. Nurse Redheart entered, pushing a wheeled cart. Atop it sat a tray with something that made my eyes widen and my mouth water. Eggs! Oh, God, yes! Thank you, alien pony biology, for allowing me this. As a human, there had yet to be a way to prepare eggs that I did not like (scrambled in this case). Her eyes flicked over me. "You don't need to remove the pendant to eat breakfast, but if you do wish me to set it aside for you, I would be happy to do so." "That won't be necessary," I said in a voice more curt than I had intended. I fumbled with the clasp, as closing it proved harder than opening it. Nurse Redheart advanced. "Do you need some help?" "No, I can get it, I--" It slipped from my hooves. I glanced down to grab it again and-- What? The clasp was closed? How did I do that? "Apparently so," said Nurse Redheart with a tiny smile. She transferred the tray to me. "I will be back after breakfast to give you a bath." "Thank you," I said, but she had already turned away and was heading out of the room. I had to admit that I thought it odd that Nurse Redheart felt it necessary to bathe me. I was not physically incapacitated. Well, in their view. I felt like I was, since I still did not know how to do fine movements with hooves or use levitation magic. Granted, I was grateful for the assist, it just seemed a bit strange. Nurse Redheart arrived soon after I had finished eating. "You'll need to remove your pendant first, of course," she told me as I was getting out of bed. I knew that was coming. I started to manipulate the chain. "Where will you put it?" "Just over on the table there," she said, pointing a hoof at the table against the opposite wall near the door. That meant it would be out of sight. I felt my ears flatten. Damn expressive pony ears. "Something wrong?" Nurse Redheart asked. "Can we leave it in the bathroom instead, please? I'd rather it not be out of my sight." Nurse Redheart did not appear pleased with this, but she nodded just the same. "Very well." I removed it when we entered the bathroom, and it was placed on the counter. I could not help but keep shifting my eyes to it. I didn't think I enjoyed the bath as much as I had hoped. Regardless, I was clean, and that shampoo she used on my mane and tail made those day-glo colors become even brighter in hue as I had feared. I flinched when Nurse Redheart swept up the pendant in her fore-hoof. "Just bringing this into the room for you," she said with a smile. I forced a small smile and a nod in return. God, I needed to stop being so anxious. She placed it on the table, right near the edge closest to the door before directing me to a towel spread out on the floor. I sat down on my haunches as Nurse Redheart fetched a brush from a drawer of the dresser. She positioned herself beside me, and I felt the brush engage my mane. It hit a tangle right away. After a pause, I heard -- and felt -- a rip of hairs. "Ouch!" I cried. "Sorry, dear," said Nurse Redheart. I winced. "Could you please -- ouch! -- be a little more -- ouch! -- gentle back there?!" "You do want these mats out, don't you?" "With a little less -- ouch! -- pain, yes!" Urgh. I hated having my hair pulled. As a kid, I drove my mother's maid insane with how much I cried over the littlest snag, and now I had someone with an earth pony's strength doing it. It was one of the reasons I kept my hair short and straight when I got older. "Ouch!" Nurse Redheart sighed. I honestly didn't give a fuck if she was getting irritated. I heard a knock at the door, and a muffled unfamiliar voice called out, "Hello, there, darling, are you decent?" Decent? Seriously? I was a naked pony in a world of naked ponies. I couldn't get any more or less decent. "Um, yeah -- ouch! -- I'm good, come -- ouch! -- in." The door glowed and opened. In walked two ponies, one of whom was Fluttershy, an uncertain expression on her face. The other was a marshmallow white pony with a wavy purple mane and three diamonds as her cutie mark. In other words, a visitor I had never seen before. Whatever this Pinkie Sense was, I supposed it was indeed accurate. The white pony suddenly stopped and uttered a horrified gasp. Shit, was I not decent after all? Were my girly bits showing between my hind legs? "My stars, whatever you are doing to that poor filly's mane?!" the white pony cried. "I'm trying to brush it out," said Nurse Redheart. "Why do you -- hey!" I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. The brush was floating in mid-air, softly glowing. The white unicorn's horn was glowing as well. "Brushing?" the unicorn scoffed as she stepped forward. "More like torturing." "I am trying to get the mats out of her mane." "Yes, but did you take any notice whatsoever of how curly her hair is?" "That's one of the problems I'm having." The unicorn closed her eyes and lifted her muzzle. "Obviously. You clearly do not know how to work with such hair." "Look, Miss whoever-you-are, I don't--" "Rarity." "Miss Rarity, I don't need you tell me how to care for a patient." Rarity opened her eyes. "But I clearly need to show you how to care for a mane." Nurse Redheart reached for the brush but Rarity levitated it out of reach. "I am quite sure I am not supposed to let you work on the patients." Rarity rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course, protocol and all that." She narrowed her eyes and scraped a hoof against the floor, where something glittered. "And I am sure confetti is considered part of the normal hygienic decor." Fluttershy giggled softly. I smiled. Nurse Redheart, however, seethed. I had to admit, Nurse Redheart seemed a bit on edge today. Maybe she hadn't had enough coffee or something. That might explain why she never had someone come to clean up the confetti Pinkie Pie had left. "I believe I know my mistake," said Nurse Redheart. "I am using the wrong brush. Allow me to--" "Do not blame the brush for your lack of skill. This is perfectly adequate for the task at hoof." Rarity lowered the brush to my mane. "Now, pay attention." Nurse Redheart sighed and frowned. I felt Rarity slide the brush through my hair. "You don't attempt to brute-force the hairs from their natural arrangement." The brush snagged, and I tensed. "You work with the natural flow of the hair." The brush twisted, and I felt a gentle tug on the hairs, then heard a ripping noise as a mat was freed. "And you untangle the hair with minimal stress on the hair. Or the pony, for that matter." Nurse Redheart smiled, but it seemed forced. "Thank you." "Watch a few more times, please, to make sure you get it," said Rarity. I felt the brush move through my mane again. Even as bossy as Rarity seemed, she had a gentle touch. I was almost enjoying this. "You see? Now, you try." "Actually, Miss Rarity, you appear to know what you are doing," said the nurse. "Would you simply like to continue?" Rarity hesitated. "Oh, well, that depends on your patient, of course." "I'm fine with it," I said. Anything not to be subjected to Nurse Redheart's heavy-hoofed approach. She struck me initially as more gentle than this, but I suppose everyone has their bad days. Everypony. I really needed to get used to their mannerisms. "Rarity is good at this sort of thing," said Fluttershy with a soft smile. "Oh?" I looked up. "Are you a hairdresser, Miss Rarity?" "Please, darling, just Rarity will do. I'm actually a dressmaker and fashion designer, but I know a thing or two about personal grooming." Fluttershy must have noticed my surprise, as she was peering at me curiously. So this pony whom I never saw before takes an interest in me, and she just happened to work in one of first industries that my mother owned before she died? Oh, yeah, that's not suspicious at all. Never mind the incongruity of making clothing for a largely naked pony population. Or maybe I was just being paranoid and should just ask. "So what brought you down here to see me, Rarity?" "I am friends with Fluttershy and the other ponies who found you," said Rarity. "The only reason I was not there was because I had back orders to catch up on and could not attend the picnic." So that explained why so many ponies found me all at once. I guess it sort of explained why Rarity wanted to visit. Still, that was really eerie. I felt a little uneasy. "You really do have a rather lovely mane, dear," said Rarity. "The colors go together fabulously and complement your coat very well." "Thanks," I said. I took her word for it. They still looked too bright for my tastes. "Your natural curls are quite nice, but could do with being styled. I would be happy to arrange for that." "I really don't have any money." "Nonsense, I would not dream of making you pay for it. Perhaps we could combine it with a spa treatment as well." And now she was being exceedingly generous towards me? And ponies had spas? "Um, something wrong?" Fluttershy said. Damn, she could read me too well. Her voice always had a tone of concern to it, like she really did care what I was feeling. "Oh, nothing, I was just thinking that I hope my memory comes back so I don't have to be an imposition on everyb ... er ... everypony." "It is no imposition whatsoever," said Rarity. "You have had a hard time of it, and you deserve to be pampered a bit." She lifted the brush. "I am finished with your mane. Would you like me to do your tail as well?" "Um, sure." "If you would be so kind as to stand, please." I rose to my hooves just as I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Nurse Redheart was moving off, and Rarity stepped forward, blocking my view of the table. I called out in a bit of a panicked voice, "My pendant!" Rarity reacted at once. "What about it, dear?" "It's over on the table by the--" Rarity had already swung her head towards the door, allowing me to see it again. The pendant was suffused with a magical glow and snatched from the table. Nurse Redheart stood next to it, a fore-hoof extended, which she pulled back as the pendant was whisked away. Did I see that right? Was she about to take my pendant? Now Rarity had it. If she were friends with Twilight, and that princess wanted my pendant so badly, Rarity could just-- "Here you go, darling." I tore my gaze from the nurse. The pendant floated between Rarity and I. "Uh, thanks." "Allow me to put it back on for you." Rarity's magic slipped the open chain around my neck and brought the ends together. I heard a faint click as the clasp engaged. She looked back towards the door. "Nurse Redheart, are you leaving?" The nurse turned towards us, smiling. "She seems to be in good hooves for the moment. Just stop by the nurse's station when you're done. Oh, and thank you for returning the pendant to her. I was just about to do it myself, but you saved me the trouble." Rarity smiled and nodded before Nurse Redheart let herself out. So my pendant was very nearly taken by a nurse, could have been taken by Rarity, and her and Fluttershy were two ponies doting over me who reminded me of my mother and Michelle. I did not like where this was going. At all. > Chapter 4 - Things Get Weird(er) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It became apparent that brushing my tail was going to take about as long as the mane. My tail hair was rather thick, though not quite as tightly curled. I felt an odd pinching sensation near the base of my tail and had to glance behind me to see that Rarity had grasped it in her magic, likely to prevent too much tugging on my hindquarters. "I'm told that you can recall that you are from Manehattan," said Rarity. "Yes, though I don't recall the exact area." "No worries at all. There is hardly an area of Manehattan that I don't like myself." So just how familiar was she with the place? How much could I fudge things? "Did you come from Manehattan originally yourself?" "Oh, no, darling, I cannot count myself that fortunate," Rarity said with a chuckle. "I simply adore my visits there. I believe I would be quite at home if I had to live there." "Though we're glad she doesn't," said Fluttershy with a small smile. "I did like living in Manehattan," I said, which was an accurate reflection on my attitude towards New York. I may have let a wistful tone creep into my voice. "Oh, I have no doubt about that. It is good to talk to somepony who has. I meet so few of those in Ponyville." "Are you friends with the other ponies I've met?" I asked. "If you mean those whom you met at Sweet Apple Acres, then, yes," said Rarity. "And Twilight, of course. I would miss them dreadfully if I ever did move." "Fortunately her boutique in Ponyville is very successful," said Fluttershy. "I am looking to open another in Canterlot if the right place opens up, but I fully intend to stay in Ponyville." I took a wild guess and assumed "Canterlot" was someplace rather important given its similarity in name to the less puntasticly titled place from Earth legend. I wondered if that was the castle-like city I had seen on the way to the hospital. I felt I had to contribute more to the conversation. I wanted to, actually. So I tried what I had thought of doing earlier: grafting my real life onto this world. "My mother started off in a small town but moved to Manehattan when I was really young and, well, never looked back." She had actually moved to New York City, and she had built her fashion business there. "My stars, raised in Manehattan?" Rarity said. "In that case, Ponyville will definitely be a change of pace for you." That was for certain. I was never much for "country living" back on Earth. Maybe mentioning I had lived my childhood (foalhood?) there was a little too audacious, but I was tired of being an enigma. I rather wished Fluttershy would talk more. If she was going to be a persistent reminder of Michelle, I wanted to know more about her. Maybe it would make the experience seem less uncanny. I supposed I was going to have to force the issue. "Fluttershy, what do you do?" Fluttershy seemed surprised at the question. "Oh, um, me?" "You live in Ponyville, too, right?" "Yes, I do. I work with animals." I paused, hoping she would follow that up, but nothing was forthcoming. Was she a veterinary, perhaps? "Fluttershy is being quite modest," Rarity said. "She does wonders for the animals about Ponyville. I do not believe any other town could boast such a happy, healthy population of animals." Fluttershy blushed but smiled. Michelle had liked animals but had no such amazing skills. She had preferred to help other people, often at the expense of her own comfort. She had often fretted more about others than herself. She had been about as modest as Fluttershy as well. "So, how long did it take you to develop that skill?" "Oh, it's a bit of a long story how I discovered my special talent, but it's what gave me my cutie mark." So these marks were related to talents or skills? I supposed that explained Fluttershy's butterflies. Strange that Rarity's would be diamonds. If she were a dressmaker, I assumed it would be a needle and thread or something like that. It made sense for Applejack's apples and Pinkie Pie's balloons. I guessed stars represented magic. What was Rainbow's mark again? Something weather-related, I thought. That struck me as rather funny that a pony as brash as her would be a meteorologist. I was still a bit wary. I was warming up to Rarity and Fluttershy more so than the other ponies, but something about this arrangement still seemed contrived, like some sort of outside force was manipulating me. Rarity released the base of my tail, and the brush floated onto the table. "There you go, my dear. You are looking much better now, save for a bit of wildness to your mane, but that's nothing my stylist can't fix." She trotted over to the dresser and opened each drawer in turn with her magic. "Ah, here we go." She levitated a mirror from the drawer and brought it over to me. She had indeed made my hair lay better. If I ignored the lurid colors, it actually looked quite nice. Especially the tail. The curls were indeed a little looser there, making it look like a wavy cascade that ended about half a foot from the floor. I was torn between wanting to accept my new body and clinging to my remaining humanity. This was supposed to be the way I would be for the rest of my life, but that idea met with such defiance that I had no idea how to resolve it. At least I could give Rarity a sincere comment. "It does look better, thank you." Rarity smiled and levitated the mirror to the table. I so wished I could do that. "I am afraid we must take our leave of you now, dear," said Rarity. "But if you are okay with it, we can come back again tomorrow." "I'd be fine with that," I said, again in all sincerity. "It was a pleasure meeting you, and I hope you do get to feeling better." "It was nice seeing you again," said Fluttershy with a soft smile. At least this time she seemed a little less put off by me. I wished I could claim quite as much improvement in my feelings towards her, but that was my problem. I must have managed not to let that show, for she kept her good demeanor. "Same here," I said. "See you tomorrow." Doctor Horse soon informed me that the afternoon would be the earliest they would run more tests. I thought I was going to be left with nothing to do except stare at the walls until the doctor levitated a book into my lap. "This is courtesy of Princess Twilight. It's one of her favorites, and she thought you might like it." "Um, thanks," I said. Like when I first heard the spoken language back in the apple orchard, my brain took a second to realign itself. What had been random symbols at first became legible text in a few seconds. Seriously? The main character was named "Daring Do?" The book was at least mildly engaging. This Daring Do seemed to be the pony equivalent of Indiana Jones. I was not much for action stories, but it was something to do. Granted, there were a lot of cultural references I just wasn't getting. I did learn one thing: the name of this country (nation? empire?) was "Equestria." I also learned that a common phrase to note surprise or shock was "by Celestia" or "in Celestia's name." Perhaps this "Celestia" was their deity. These ponies did not seem particularly religious, so maybe it was an old belief that wasn't practiced anymore. That would suit me fine. Last thing I needed was to violate some sacred rite out of ignorance. I had to admit, the idea that a princess would enjoy the pony equivalent of pulp fiction was amusing. My mother had a rather sharp disdain for such things. Eggs weren't on the menu for lunch. Oh, well. At least I liked vegetables and greens enough. Very soon after lunch, I was taken for the first of the tests that the doctor had ordered, and I was already anxious. "This is not going to take very long, but could very well be of great assistance to you," said Doctor Horse. I was seated on my haunches on a cushion, a female unicorn with a creamy light brown coat and corn-silk mane standing next to me. The doctor gestured with a hoof towards her. "This is Doctor Lovely Memory. She's one of our experts on amnesia and other memory impediments." Oh, fun. I should have realized they would do something like this. "She is going to cast a spell on you that is designed to lift any memory blockages resulting from emotional trauma." I tried not to let my nervousness show in my voice. "And if my memory loss is not from that? What happens?" Lovely Memory spoke up. "No worries, it will simply have no effect in that case. I need to warn you, though. If this is indeed a trauma-based blockage, you will start to recall that trauma. The spell is designed to release it slowly to allow you time to cope, but Nurse Redheart will need to keep a close eye on you in case you need counseling." I nodded. Of course, this was going to be a bust, but at least I had a time cushion where I could think of what to do in the meantime. "There is, however, the matter of your pendant," said Doctor Horse. Here we go. "I need to remove it?" "I am afraid so. Nurse Redheart tells me you can indeed remove it yourself." She must have told the doctor that she had seen me with the pendant's clasp undone. "It is critically important nothing interferes with this spell," said Lovely Memory. "I do not wish to take the least bit of chance that any outside magic will interfere with it and possibly harm you as well." I was about to rail yet again at the idea that this thing was even remotely magical when Doctor Horse said, "For example, your pendant ruined the X-rays we tried to take yesterday." Was he serious? Or was this just some lie to get me to give up the pendant? Lovely Memory moved to one side and revealed a small table where a half-sphere of what looked like shimmering glass lay around it. "This is a secure holding spell I cast. When a pony places something inside it, only that pony can retrieve it. Your pendant will be safe." With my lack of knowledge of how magic worked here, they could very easily deceive me. I really didn't have any choice. If I still refused, I would definitely cast suspicion on myself. "A-all right," I said. I trotted over to it and opened the clasp on the pendant after some fumbling. My hooves trembled, and I dropped it. The pendant suddenly glowed with Lovely Memory's magic and was placed back in my hooves. "Um, thanks," I murmured sheepishly, my cheeks warm. The half-sphere was actually an energy field. My hooves tingled a bit as they passed through it. After I deposited the pendant inside, Lovely Memory stepped over and tried to move her hoof through, but it was like it had become completely solid. I was still able to poke my own hoof through it. "There, it should be nice and safe now," said Lovely Memory with a gentle smile. "Thank you," I said as I returned to the cushion. Lovely Memory levitated a parchment and a quill. "The spell also relays to me information concerning your mental functions, which I will be noting here. Rest assured that I will not be seeing any of your memories, and your thoughts will remain private. Ready?" Not really, but I nodded anyway. Lovely Memory's horn glowed. "You should feel no more than a mild tingling, if even that." I did feel it, like a faint maddening itch just under my mane between my ears, but it was tolerable. Soon the quill started scratching across the parchment. I could see what she was writing, but it was a mix of medical and magical jargon I didn't understand. At least it proved she wasn't recording my thoughts. This continued for a few minutes, so I guessed, before the glow in her horn faded. She lowered the parchment and quill, smiling at me. "All done!" "That's it?" "That's it." "Ah, this appeared to go splendidly," said Doctor Horse. "Please note it will take at least a few hours before any memories become unlocked. Best you just rest for now when you get back to your room." I trotted to where my pendant lay and put it back on. So maybe I had misinterpreted what Nurse Redheart was doing earlier? Where did caution end and paranoia begin? "Perhaps later you would consent to another try at the X-rays," said Doctor Horse. "We can have a technician cast a secure holding spell for you there as well." I managed a smile. "Thanks for understanding." Nurse Redheart was waiting for me outside the testing room. "I do hope this goes well for you," she said with a gentle smile. "If for no other reason than we can learn what to call you." I had to admit to toying with the idea of coming up with a "pony name" and claiming I had "remembered" it. Then again, where my exposure to pony names was limited to the few I had met and characters in a Daring Do book, that was not likely the best idea. She escorted me to my room. "Perhaps you should consider taking a nap, dear." "Oh, well, I'm not really all that tired," I said as I headed for the bed. "Trust me, these sorts of things can quite exhaust you." I saw something flicker at the edge of my vision, like a faint greenish light from somewhere behind me. When I turned to see what it was, my vision blurred for a moment, and I stumbled as a wave of weakness passed through me. Nurse Redheart rushed forward, throwing a foreleg around me. "Oh, my, are you all right?" My eyelids sagged. "Umm ... m-maybe you were right." "Extreme sleepiness is an occasional side-effect of that spell." I wished they had told me about this. One moment I was wide awake, the next I felt dead on my hooves. "Here, let's get you into bed," I heard Nurse Redheart say, her voice sounding thick and muffled. "Urm, yeah, okay," I murmured, barely cognizant of what I was saying. I scarcely remembered Nurse Redheart drawing the sheet over me before I blacked out. I stirred from a dreamless sleep. My head felt full of fuzz. Pain throbbed in my temples. I narrowed my eyes to force them to focus. I could not tell how long I had been out, as the sunlight from the window had been replaced by a gray pall. As I became more lucid, I heard the gentle patter of rain. I felt a chill against my side and realized the sheet had slid from my body. No, the sheet was torn. This incongruity brought me to full wakefulness, and my eyes widened as I saw that the sheet was in tatters, as if it had been ripped apart. I gasped as I cast my gaze around the room. The table near the wall had been overturned, the mirror that Rarity had placed on it smashed. The dresser lay on its side, some of its drawers missing. As my eyes tracked across the room, I found them lying in pieces. Gouges on the wall suggested they had been hurtled against it. Light glittered off shards of glass in the doorway to the bathroom, hinting that the mirror had been shattered as well. What the fuck?! My head jerked up as the door glowed and opened, and my heart thumped as Princess Twilight stepped into the room, a deadly serious expression on her face. "Well, it appears to be just as bad as Nurse Redheart had said." "Wh-what? I don't understand." Twilight stepped more fully into the room and shut the door with another magical push. "She told me you had another episode with your uncontrolled magic. I almost didn't believe her when she said it was this bad." "Wait a minute, I didn't do this!" I cried. "Please, it's best to just admit what happened." "I was asleep! The room was like this when I woke up!" Twilight considered and sighed. "It's worse than I thought. You must not have been in your right mind and don't even remember doing it." This was the alley all over again, being accused of something I had not done. "That's ridiculous." "They told me you had a memory charm applied to you earlier." "Well, yes, but--" "And you had the pendant with you." My hoof flew to it, pressing it against my chest. "I had taken it off." "But it was still close by. It must be infused with magic, and it must be affecting you somehow. The memory charm only exacerbated that." I swallowed hard. Could she be right? She was supposed to be the Princess of Magic. Maybe she had been telling me the truth all along, and this thing was a danger to me. But, dammit, I would've remembered having an episode like this! Wouldn't I? Twilight took a step towards me, and it took great effort not to retreat. Though where would I go? Even if I tried to run past her, she likely could use magic to stop me. I was trapped. "I want to help you," Twilight said in a gentler voice. "But you have to trust me." "Y-you want me to give you the pendant." Twilight smiled. "I'm glad to see you finally understand." I was trembling so badly the bed frame rattled. I pressed my hoof tighter to the pendant until it bit into my skin through my fur. "The pendant is clearly a danger to you and potentially everypony around you," said Twilight. "Do you really want to be responsible for somepony getting hurt?" Shit. I didn't ask for this. What had Michelle done to me? Had she even known this thing was magical? How could she? She was an ordinary human being like me. No, like I had been. That part of my life was over, and it was time I accepted that. This stupid pendant was tying me to something I could never have again. Maybe without this pendant I would stop being special and be just another pony. Before I could respond, my attention was drawn to a commotion in the hallway. "Wait, stop, you need to talk to the nurse first before you visit!" came a distant voice from down the hall. A rush of wind in the hallway rattled the door, and then a slightly raspy voice from right outside said, "Sorry, doc, too slow! Twilight can vouch for me anyway." The door burst open. Great. Just what I needed now, that damn rainbow-maned pegasus. "Twilight, there you are!" Rainbow Dash said, flying into the room and hovering before Twilight, her hindquarters towards me. I barely avoided being slapped in the muzzle by her prismatic tail. "I've been looking all over for you." Twilight sighed. "Rainbow Dash, I am a bit busy at the moment." "Look, I know you're still sore at me, but just listen, please!" "This really needs to wait until later." "But I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I talked to Spike, and he said you ..." Rainbow trailed off as her gaze swept the room. "Whoa, what the hay happened in here?!" Twilight paused, then glanced past her pegasus friend. "Perhaps you can help. The filly here is still a little reluctant to give me her pendant." Rainbow whirled around to face me, narrowing her eyes. "Oh, she is, huh?" "She had a magical accident, which is what trashed the room." Rainbow folded her fore-legs. "Accident. Sure. I believe that. Now try to sell me a bridge in Manehattan." "I don't remember doing this!" I yelled. I was going to give up the pendant, but I didn't need this shit from her. "Rainbow, I'm not blaming her," said Twilight. "All I care about is getting that pendant from her so nopony gets hurt." "You heard her!" Rainbow said. "Cough it up!" "G-give me a minute, please," I said. "Why?" I was almost in tears, but I refused to break down in front of her. "It means a great deal to me! I-it ... it's a symbol of a close friendship I once had." I wasn't sure why I said that. I had not wanted to reveal any details concerning Michelle, but ... did her face soften just a touch? "So just give me a moment to work up my courage, okay?" I snapped. "Or maybe you're so full of yourself you didn't notice I'm rather scared right now!" I thought my insult would set her off again; I needed to vent, and she was a convenient target. I wanted her to argue with me, yet it seemed to have the opposite effect. She blinked a few times and rubbed a hoof through her mane. "Yeah, you do that," she said in a subdued voice. She turned to face Twilight. "Twilight, please, I want to say I'm sorry for earlier." Twilight looked increasingly impatient. "Rainbow, it's fine, I forgive you." "Wait, just like that?" "Well, why not? We're friends, right?" "But you yelled at me like I never heard you do before, and then you just teleported away. Spike said maybe you were still upset over the stuff that happened at Cadance's wedding even after all this time and--" "Rainbow, not now. It's not important." To be honest, I was barely listening to them. I pieced together that part of the conversation later. I was dealing with my own grief. I felt so terribly guilty. I had let Michelle down once before and was going to do so again. "Hey." I looked up. Rainbow had turned to face me again, still hovering. Did she ever actually walk like other ponies? She glanced to the side. "I, uh, see you got the book Twilight sent." I stared. "Huh?" "The Daring Do book. I like them, too." "Oh, um, it's okay, I guess." Rainbow's eyes widened. "Just okay?! But ... er ... never mind." "Look, do you want the pendant or--" "I'm glad you like it because it was my idea to send it to you." "Rainbow, she's going to give me the pendant," said Twilight. "Why are you prattling on about the book?" "Did you hear what I said, Twilight? My idea to send the book." "Yes, I heard. I thought you had a great idea back then, and I still do now." I had tuned them out again. I started to manipulate the chain of my pendant. Suddenly, a cyan hoof nudged my own hooves down. "Keep it," said Rainbow in a low voice. "Huh? But I thought--" What happened next was just a blur of motion. I could only deduce what transpired from the aftermath, when Twilight was abruptly lifted off her hooves and hurtled backwards. She smacked against the wall with enough force to crack the plaster. My jaw simply dropped as she slid down the wall, her hoof rubbing the side of her face. Did Rainbow just deck her?? I barely had a chance to breathe when Rainbow lunged at the fallen princess, grappled with her, and threw her against the wall near the bathroom. Twilight fell atop the fallen dresser with a loud, wood-splintering crash. Rainbow turned to lunge again, but the princess was ready. I gasped as a bright beam of green light erupted from her horn, striking Rainbow and throwing her into the opposite wall. "Gaaaah!" Rainbow cried until she struck the wall. The back of her head impacted with a sickening thud. She slid down the wall, groaning, her eyes skewed. "What in Celestia's name is going on in here?!" cried Doctor Horse from the hallway as he appeared. Twilight was on her hooves and charging for the door. "Doctor, look out!" I screamed. "Princess Twilight, what--?!" the doctor began. Twilight shoved him aside with her magic and disappeared down the hall. Rainbow shook her head violently and leaped into the air. "Stop her!" she bellowed as she disappeared in a colorful blur. A flash of green light illuminated the hallway for an instant before I heard Rainbow growl, "Rrrgh, she's gone!" In another prismatic blur, Rainbow was hovering before me again. "You all right? She didn't hurt you, did she?" To say I was a little shocked was an understatement, not just from what happened but from the sincere concern in Rainbow's voice and eyes. Numbly, I nodded. "What in Equestria just happened?" said Doctor Horse. Rainbow whirled around to face him. "Doc, have somepony contact the Castle of Friendship! Get Twilight -- the real Twilight -- down here, fast!" The real Twilight?? The doctor was similarly shocked. "Oh, heavens, d-don't tell me that was a changeling?!" "Okay, I won't. Pretend it was a manticore if that makes you feel better. Just get Twilight down here!" "I will, Miss Dash, but I insist you have one of the physicians attend to you. That was a nasty hit you took on the back of your head." "Okay, okay! But have them do it in here, because I'm not leaving this filly alone until Twilight gets here. Ugh, I knew this summit was a bad idea!" Doctor Horse sighed. "Very well, I will see to it at once." Rainbow turned to face me. "Lucky for you, I have a thick head." She winced as she rubbed the back of her head. "In more ways than one." I was too stunned to respond. What the fuck just happened?! > Chapter 5 - Change Of Scenery > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctor Horse had me moved to another room down the hall. Only then did I realize how much that incident had affected me. My legs felt weak, and my heart still pounded. Rainbow Dash was fine as a protector but was not a very calming presence. She made a great fuss when a doctor examined her. Apparently she was no stranger to injury. It also didn't help that it took almost an hour for Twilight to show up, accompanied by Fluttershy. I recoiled a little when I saw the princess. After a brief hesitation, Fluttershy flew over to me and gave me a brief but warm hug. That was the first time I saw her use her wings. "It's okay," Fluttershy said as she settled on her hooves next to me. "This is the real Twilight." A curious sight drew my attention. A diminutive bipedal purple creature followed Twilight into the room. He looked like a small, wingless dragon. "We just saw the trashed room," said Twilight as she trotted up to me. "I know you're upset, but can you please tell me what happened?" My voice was a little shaky at first, but having Fluttershy nearby helped calm me. I didn't want to risk leaving out a crucial detail, so I described everything that happened since Rarity and Fluttershy had left that morning and concluded with, "I don't know what happened to Nurse Redheart after I fell asleep." "We cannot find her anywhere in the hospital," said Doctor Horse. "That must've been the changeling, too!" Rainbow said. "Sounds like she used some sort of sleep spell," the little dragon said. "I think you're right, Spike," said Twilight. "That explains the flash of green light the filly saw. The changeling cast the spell on her, then trashed the room to make it look like she had done it." My stomach twisted. That felt no better than being drugged without my knowledge. "I didn't think changeling drones could do that," said Spike. "We still know so little about them. Some drones may be more intelligent or have specialized functions. It's a common aspect of other hive-minded creatures." Twilight turned back to me. "Do you have any idea at all why the changelings would want your pendant?" "My pendant is exactly what I told you it is, or at least I thought it was." I sighed. "I-I'm willing to admit you may be right that there's something more to it, but if there is, I had no idea until all this started." "Would you be willing to let me examine it?" I wanted to scream, not at Twilight, but at the situation. Even after this thing became a threat to my safety, I still clung to it. Was a dead friendship really worth all this? What was driving me? "What if I could do it so it didn't leave your sight, and you could have it back if it turns out not to be dangerous?" I was still torn. I realized I had to trust somepony, and Twilight was doing her best to accommodate me. What I really hated about this situation was that I was forced to admit I could not handle it myself. I had become used to taking care of things on my own back on Earth. Yeah, and that had turned out great, hadn't it? "All right," I said with a defeated sigh. Twilight appeared thoughtful before turning back to Doctor Horse. "Doctor, how soon could she be released from your care?" "Well, we still need to interview her to see if the memory charm had any effect," said Doctor Horse. "And I want to redo those X-rays of her head to rule out any injury." "Can those be done today?" "I can expedite them, yes." "If you can release her today, I would like to take temporary custody of her," said Twilight. "On my authority as a Princess of Equestria." I gave her a startled look. Did that mean Twilight was going to be the one to-- Rainbow flew up to her. "Wait, you're gonna take her to the castle?" "I don't want to risk her being hurt, Rainbow," said Twilight, her voice suddenly tense. "She'll be safer there. It's just until we find out more about the pendant. More permanent arrangements are in progress for fostering her to another pony if we can't find her relatives." Rainbow glanced at me for a moment. "Twilight, look, I'm not trying to upset you again, but do you really think you should go ahead with ... um ... that other thing?" "I gotta admit, Twilight," said Spike. "I'm not so sure about it myself, either." Twilight frowned. "Doctor, could you please inform the administration of my wishes? I'll find you when I'm done, and you can proceed with the rest of the tests." "Of course, Princess," said Doctor Horse before he let himself out. "I'm really sorry about before," Rainbow said. "And I'm not trying to tell you what to do or go over your head again, I just--" "No, it's fine," Twilight said in a softer voice. "I spent some time with Fluttershy after I left. She made me realize that I had overreacted a bit. You really were right to want more security for the summit. We can talk about it more later. What's important now is ensuring the filly's safety." I really wished I had a name. I know they didn't mean it that way, but calling me "the filly" made me feel like they thought I wasn't even in the room. I might have betrayed my feelings on my face -- or my damn ears -- as Fluttershy gave me a reassuring smile. "But do you really wanna have the pendant and the bug-queen in the same place if she wants it that much?" Rainbow asked. Bug queen? No matter how they spun it, I was sure I was not going to like this. "Queen Chrysalis is not supposed to arrive for the summit for another day," said Twilight. "I'm hoping to learn more about the pendant before then." "But you gotta admit she's up to something." "Unfortunately, yes, but if we simply cancel the summit, we won't know what." "I-I'm sorry to interrupt," said Fluttershy. "But what if you can't find anything out about the pendant before Queen Chrysalis arrives?" Twilight smiled. "I'll be one of three alicorns present during the summit. I think between all of us we can ensure the safety of one young unicorn and one pendant." Alicorn? Was that another title? Or was it more what Twilight was physically? Given how similar it was to "unicorn," I was guessing the latter. Then who were the two other alicorns? Twilight turned to Spike, "Would you please take that letter for me now?" The little dragon produced a parchment and quill -- from where I had no idea -- but suddenly looked thoughtful. "First I have one question about this arrangement." "Oh? What's that?" Spike stepped up to me. "Do you snore?" The question was so incongruous that my brain simply sputtered. "Spike!" Twilight cried, though Rainbow snickered, and Fluttershy giggled. Spike turned to Twilight. "What?" Twilight smirked. The dragon was enveloped in her magical glow, picked up, and plopped back down in front of her. "Just take the letter." Spike sighed. "Fine. But she better not snore to wake the dead like Rainbow Dash does." "Heh, yeah, that would be real -- hey!" Rainbow said. Okay, that was funny, and I managed a small giggle. "Dear Princess Celestia," said Twilight. I stopped giggling. Did she say Celestia? "There has been a disturbing new development concerning the filly and her pendant," Twilight dictated, Spike's quill scratching across parchment. "A changeling attempted to trick her into giving up the pendant. Said attempt was foiled thanks to Rainbow Dash. I am taking the filly this evening to the Castle of Friendship--" Did I hear that name right? "--for her protection. She has agreed to let me study the pendant and ascertain--" Spike stopped writing. "Um ..." "Determine?" Twilight suggested. Spike nodded and continued writing. "--determine what the changelings find so interesting about it. I have decided for now that the summit will continue as planned. Yours in friendship, Princess Twilight Sparkle." "Got it," said Spike. "Send it at once, please." Spike did something I would not have believed had I not seen it for myself. After rolling up the parchment into a scroll, he breathed fire on it. Rather than simply being rendered into so many ashes, the scroll vanished in a flicker of light. A faint, sparkling cloud flew across the room and out the window. Every time I thought I had seen every sort of strangeness this world had to offer, something else made my perceptions go off the deep end. And this Celestia was a princess? But her name was being used like a deity in the book. Perhaps they did something similar to ancient Egypt, where the Pharaohs were considered divine. The alternative -- that this princess had godlike powers -- was too ludicrous and scary to be believed. Despite how openly they spoke in front of me, I still had so many questions. I had no idea what kind of danger I had just faced, or that I was still going to face. I could not tell whether the dearth of details was from lack of trust in me or simply because I was still a child in their eyes. "Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, breaking me out of my reverie. "Oh, um, yes, sorry," I said. "This is just a little overwhelming." "It's okay, I understand." Fluttershy smiled. "I think you'll like staying in Twilight's castle, even if it is for just a short time." I seriously considered telling them the complete truth then, but decided it would be better to find out more about the pendant first. If it did turn out to be benign, or just a colossal red herring, then at least they would not worry I was some vanguard of an alien invasion. And to be honest, despite the spell-induced nap, I was exhausted. "Thanks," I said, smiling weakly. "I'm sure I will." I was a little wary about being left alone, until I was told that one of the sheriff’s deputies would be stationed outside my room. I was soon whisked off to Doctor Lovely Memory again, anyway. She interviewed me, and of course, I had "recalled" nothing of my alleged lost memories. Maybe if I had not still felt a bit frazzled, I could have made up something. She was concerned enough to want to cast another charm on me. "This spell will give me a more detailed view of the structure of your brain," she said, never losing that gentle smile. "For what purpose?" "It can reveal if other potential mental conditions could be the indirect cause of your amnesia. It also detects if there is a spell or other magical effect blocking your memories." So it will just make me more of an enigma to them. Like I had much choice. "Okay." She was kind enough to do the holding spell for me again to protect my pendant. I needed to watch that damn thing even more like a hawk (or whatever the equivalent Equestrian avian species was appropriate). The existence of shape-shifters was doing nothing to enamor me to this world. That a changeling could look so utterly indistinguishable from a real person sent a chill down my spine. My only clue had been Nurse Redheart's more curt behavior that day. Even Rainbow Dash had taken time to figure out Twilight wasn't real. Did I need to start scrutinizing every pony I met? I already felt like I was getting a little too paranoid, and this was not helping. Lovely Memory was again making notes on a parchment as that maddening itch crawled under my scalp like a colony of ants. The effect was worse than with the earlier spell. Random images flickered across my mind, and I saw snippets of my dream. When I recalled entering the apartment, my vision suddenly blurred, and I felt strangely disoriented. "Are you all right?" asked Lovely Memory. I blinked rapidly. The image was gone and my vision was normal again. "Um, yeah, just felt kind of weird there for a moment." "Hmm. A rare side-effect, but it does happen sometimes. So long as you are not in pain." "No, not pain. More like I got dizzy for just a second." That was the best explanation I had. It seemed to satisfy her. About when I was ready to start rubbing my hoof against my head to stop the itching, the glow from her horn faded and so did the sensation. "All done," said Lovely Memory. "I'll need to examine this in more detail, but a preliminary look shows nothing out of the ordinary." Hooray for good mental health, I supposed. I was taken to X-ray next. Before I was allowed to put my pendant back on afterward, Doctor Horse did another horn exam. This time when he waved the crystal rod around my horn, he seemed pleased with the results. So I had a healthy horn, too. Good to know. Too bad I had no clue how to use it. By the time Doctor Horse told me the results of the X-rays (all normal, of course), the rain had stopped, and the clouds were clearing rather rapidly. I was surprised to see it was so close to sunset. The afternoon had gone by fast. "Well, my dear, I believe we will be parting ways for now," said Doctor Horse. "I am terribly sorry we could do nothing to help you reclaim your memories." "You did your best," I said, which was certainly true. Hell, I could only wish hospitals on Earth moved that fast. "Does that mean Princess Twilight is here?" "She is indeed. Allow me take you to her." I felt some trepidation. While I realized this princess didn't put on airs, was that going to change once I was in her castle? Did I have to watch where I stepped? Or maybe she had a huge staff of servants, and I wouldn't have to lift a hoof. That would be nice. Fluttershy and Applejack accompanied Twilight. Before I could say a word, a multicolored blur swooped in, and Rainbow Dash was hovering near them. "Hey, sorry I'm late. It took a little longer to clear out the clouds over by the farm." "Hope ya didn't go too crazy makin' them all rain out at once," Applejack said with a smirk. "Don't need no waterlogged trees." "Hey, would I do that to you? I dumped the extra rain in the stream. It was looking kinda low anyway." "I was gonna note that, but yer way ahead of me. Good work there, Rainbow." Did ... did I hear that right? Ponies controlled the weather? "Um, ya okay there, sugarcube?" It took me a moment to realize Applejack was talking to me. She was looking at me with a bemused expression that was eerily reminiscent of the day before when they had first found me. "I'm fine, thank you." Fluttershy stood close to me. "Are you all ready to go? It's not a long trot to the castle from here." "Yes, if we leave now, we can get there just before nightfall," said Twilight. She looked over to Rainbow. "I didn't know you wanted to tag along." "Of course!" said Rainbow. "Somepony has to watch out from threats from the air." "I really think just a short trot to the castle will be safe enough, but I'm happy to have you along. Let's go." We had taken maybe two or three steps before there was a cry and galloping hooves from the hallway. "Oh, Miss! Wait! You forgot something!" I turned to see a unicorn nurse emerge from the hallway. She had a book in her magical grip. I had accidentally left the Daring Do book behind. "Jeez, how can you forget that?!" Rainbow cried. "Is your amnesia getting worse?" "Now, be nice, Rainbow," Twilight said with a smile as she took the book from the nurse. "Thank you." "Yeah, thanks," I said sheepishly. "I agree, you don't want to leave this behind, especially since they don't have ninja suits your size in town." "Oh, well ... um ... what??" Applejack laughed, and Fluttershy giggled. Rainbow Dash face-hoofed so hard I heard the clop of her hoof against her forehead. "Are you girls ever gonna let me live that one down?!" "Nope," said Applejack. Twilight chuckled. "Sorry about that," she said to me. "I'll explain it later." "Do you have to?" Rainbow whined. "But your exploits were worthy of Daring Do herself!" "Please, don't encourage that sort of behavior, Princess," said Doctor Horse, but he was struggling not to laugh himself. "We'd rather not have that ruckus again." "Fracas!" Applejack, Twilight, and Fluttershy said simultaneously before breaking up into mutual laughter. Usually I hated it when people told inside jokes I didn't get, but it was worth it to see Rainbow Dash blush. I could forget my troubles for a few moments when we stepped outside. The sky was painted in hues of gorgeous sunset fire. A few stray clouds glowed brilliant orange. The fresh smell of rain still hung in the air, and the wet grass sparkled in the dusky sunlight. Strangely, the sun itself seemed ... frozen in place. With it appearing so large so close to the horizon, I imagined I should see it set a little more each time I looked at it. Instead, it remained still, as if purposely framing this picturesque setting. "That is a mighty fine sunset, ain't it?" said Applejack. "I suspect Princess Celestia is letting it hang in the sky a little longer this evening," said Twilight. "Hey, why do you think I left a few clouds here and there?" Rainbow Dash said with a touch of smugness. "I knew she'd want to admire them." "Always about you, ain't it?" said Applejack. "Well, duh!" "I think it's perfectly lovely, in either case," said Fluttershy, who trotted along beside me. "Don't you think?" "Um, yes, it's very lovely," I said. My brain was still trying to parse what I had just heard. I really hoped that was a euphemism or tradition or something, otherwise they were implying that this Princess Celestia moved the sun. There was only so much physics-defying knowledge I could take in one day. This was the longest I had walked on hooves at any one time. It already seemed more natural. I was not sure how I felt about that. We followed the edge of town, and I was able to see Ponyville itself better than I could from the road. It indeed had a nineteenth-century look to it, with a little Hobbiton thrown in. A number of colorful ponies milled about, likely fewer than were present during full light. I saw mostly earth ponies and unicorns; pegasi tended to fly rather than trot. We turned down a road leading away from town, and the sight of the castle looming ahead gave me pause. In some ways it was what I might have expected given what I had seen of the town. Its shape was very reminiscent of a huge tree, with a broad, sloping base, a rising trunk, and "branches" that spread out to support the bulk of the structure. It truly looked more grown than constructed. Yet the sunset light glowed from its sides as if it were made from crystal. At the top was a spire decorated with a large starburst that looked similar to Twilight's cutie mark. In some ways, it was more impressive than Canterlot. As friendly as Twilight was, this made her seem a little more intimidating. She was a princess, someone far above anything I might have ever achieved on Earth or might ever achieve here. For all I knew, my foreign origins barred me from ever earning one of these "cutie mark" things. Not that I ever really had time or inclination on Earth to nurture any particular talent or develop a useful skill. Twilight opened the front doors with her magic, and we stepped into a large entrance hall. The inside looked like a combination of crystalline and traditional architecture. Spike was there to greet us. "Heya, Twilight!" "Hi, Spike," said Twilight. "Did any more letters from Princess Celestia arrive while I was gone?" "Not a word," said Spike. "I got the filly's room ready while you were gone." "Thank you." "I had to put her way at the end of the hall, since the other guest rooms were already set up for tomorrow. Was that okay?" "I don't see why not." "Um, would that be for this summit you have going on?" I asked. Twilight turned to me. "Yes, and I should tell you about that, since you'll be here for part of it. The purpose of the summit is to negotiate a peace treaty between Equestria and the changelings." "Uh, the same changelings that tried to take my pendant?" "Ah, well, I'm hoping Queen Chrysalis has an explanation for that. She was the one who requested the summit in the first place." "I don't mean to question you, Twilight, but are you sure it will be safe for me here given that, uh, Queen Chrysalis will be here, too?" "That's kinda what I said!" said Rainbow. "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna will be here as well," said Twilight. The same Celestia who may or may not be a deity? I ... guessed that made me feel better. "Not to mention Princess Celestia is sending the Royal Guard." "Don't forget the Wonderbolts!" Rainbow Dash said with a grin. "Well, I was talking about the security measure inside the castle." "Oh, um, right. I knew that." Wonderbolts? "Twilight won't let anything harm you," said Fluttershy. "You can trust her and the other princesses." Hearing that from Fluttershy made me more inclined to believe it. She had to be one of the kindest people I ever met after Michelle. I had met people in my life that could act the part just to get something out of me, but Fluttershy seemed a lot more genuine than that. Applejack, though, still bothered me a little. Not that she was disingenuous. Far from it. She appeared to be as sincere as Fluttershy. Where Fluttershy seemed to be able to read my emotions, Applejack gave me the uneasy feeling she could read my intentions, like she somehow knew I was hiding something. It was not quite like how Rainbow had been suspicious of me, and now even she seemed to be warming up to me. The jury was still out on whether the reverse was true. "Spike, could you show the filly to her room?" Twilight said. She levitated the Daring Do book over to him. "And if you could carry this for her, please." Spike grabbed the book in his claws. "Got it! Right this way." "Will you be okay, or would you like me to come along?" asked Fluttershy. That was a hard question to answer. As much as I liked her, being with her felt a little like hanging around the ghost of Michelle. Moreover, I didn't want to be dependent on her. "I'll be okay for now. Thank you, Fluttershy, I really appreciate your kindness." She smiled. That made me feel good. "I'll come by your room in a little while, and we can get a quick look at that pendant," said Twilight. I was a bit tired and would rather have waited until the morning, but I didn't feel it was my place to argue. I simply nodded and trotted after Spike. It did not take long for me to realize I had no means to reconcile the interior structure of the castle with its outside appearance. It reminded me a bit of the TARDIS from the sci-fi show Doctor Who, where it was bigger inside than was evident from outside. "So you still can't remember stuff yet?" Spike asked. "Huh? Oh, um, no, not really," I said. "They did a few things with me at the hospital, but they didn't seem to work." "Aw, that's too bad. Don't even remember your name?" "Unfortunately, no." "Wow, that must really be rough. I'd hate not knowing my own name." Spike was a real curiosity. He appeared to be Twilight's assistant, but in some ways he seemed a bit childlike. He was nice enough, though. "It will all work out, eventually, I hope." "That's the spirit!" said Spike with a smile. "Or you could, you know, have Pinkie Pie come up with a name for you." That was the last thing I wanted. I hoped after a few more days I could get to know this world enough to come up with one myself. The names I saw so far seemed to be an odd mixture of either describing what a pony did (which seemed a bit redundant considering the cutie mark), what they looked like, or what their personalities were like. We entered a long hall that I think was along the south side of the castle. At the head was a set of crystal doors which led to a large balcony. Spike took me to the very last door and gestured to it with a claw. "Here you go!" At first I was wondering how I was expected to get inside without magic until I realized the handles were much more suited for hooves. I opened the door easily. The room was positively palatial compared to the hospital room. The bed was far larger than I would ever need, with a fancy canopy and drapes which could be closed around it. Another door led to a private bath. A large window was cracked open, and I could hear water. It looked out on the back of the castle, where a waterfall cascaded into a small lake. That was perfect. Sometimes if I had trouble sleeping, some white noise helped. I felt almost like I didn't deserve this good a room. Despite the curious lack of servants, this seemed far more lavish than I was worth, considering I was still keeping them in the dark about me. "If you need anything," said Spike as he placed the book on a dresser. "Just head back down the hall, and you're sure to find either me or Twilight." "Thank you," I said, smiling. "Right now, I think I just want to rest a bit." "Sure thing." Spike headed towards the door and gave me one last wave before he let himself out. I remembered what I had thought when I was first found by those ponies on the apple farm: what did I get myself into? Now I had a different question: what game was being played? Because I sure as hell felt like a pawn. > Chapter 6 - A Binding Promise After All > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Here we are," said Twilight in a cheerful voice as she trotted ahead of me into the chamber. Night had just fallen, and rather fast. One moment the sun was still suspended above the horizon in apparent perpetual sunset, and a few minutes later, not only had the sun completely set, the moon had risen and the stars were out. It was certainly a gorgeous night sky, stars far more brilliant than even the darkest moonless night on Earth, but it struck me as odd just the same. The chamber I stepped into was located at one of the lower levels of the castle. It appeared to be a workroom of sorts, with devices powered by a combination of electricity and magic whose workings I could not fathom. Shelves were lined with scrolls, yellowed parchments, and thick books. Crystals of various colors were suspended inside glass containers. Twilight turned to face me. "So all I want to do now is a quick scan of your pendant and ensure it has no obvious dangerous magicks associated with it. If it is indeed safe, I will return it to you." "And if you think it's not safe?" "It will remain here under a protective shield, and I will not move it anywhere without first telling you." I had to trust her. I really had no choice. "Um, all right. What do you want me to do?" Twilight trotted up to a pedestal in the center of the chamber. "Please place your pendant here, and then move back to the cushion just behind you. That should place you at a safe distance in case anything happens." I fumbled with the pendant a little less this time. I was finally getting used to using my hooves. I had the pendant off in less than a minute. Despite the trust I was trying to develop with her, I still hesitated before placing the pendant on the pedestal. "Thank you," said Twilight. "I know this is difficult for you. I promise to be as gentle as possible with it." I nodded and retreated to the cushion, which seemed a mile away. I sat on my haunches and tried not to look anxious. Twilight lighted her horn. "I can already tell I was right that this is infused with magic." "I honestly never knew it was," I said. "You must have been unfortunate enough to be around those who simply were not at all sensitive to outside magic." Yeah, about six billion of them. "I guess so." The pendant itself began to glow, but not quite in the same way as when it was levitated. I flicked my tail nervously as I watched. "Hmm," Twilight murmured. The glow brightened. "Well, good news is, whatever magic is contained within, it's very stable. This has to have been made by a very accomplished mage. So that eliminates the chance of random misfires." "What about this Starswirl pony you talked about?" I asked. "Oh, this could very well be one of his," Twilight said, the excitement in her voice evident. "Yes, there indeed is something about this pattern of enchantment that reminds me of his work on using thaumic matrices to store and manipulate unusual forms of energy." I nodded, but I truly had no idea what she was talking about. All I knew of its origins was some vague reference by my mother to it being handed down through a few generations. She had revealed that only after I had pressed her about it one day for whatever reason. Given how cheap the pendant looked -- well, at least back on Earth -- I had never really believed her. I had assumed it was just a fib to make the pendant have more intrinsic value to the young child that I had been. Twilight slowly stepped around the pedestal, her horn flickering a moment before growing bright again. "Oh, that's curious! It has an anti-tampering mechanism, and a very strong one." "Um ... is that good?" "In terms of unwanted magical discharge by simply handling it or even casting random spells at it, yes, indeed. Unfortunately it will make determining its exact purpose a little harder." Twilight appeared to concentrate, the glow from her horn growing brighter and dimmer in seemingly no particular pattern. "Now this is very odd." So much for the "quick scan" she had originally stated. "What's wrong?" "I am finding no means to activate the magic within. Most artifacts have a specific trigger, you see, whether it be a spoken word, a gesture, inserting it into something else, and so on. I can find no indication of a trigger." "Well, could that be good? I mean, nopony can activate it by accident, so it's still safe." "But it's strange, don't you think?" "Um, I guess?" "Why would a magical artifact be created like this with no means to activate it?" I had no idea, and I really didn't care. I was growing worried, as the more Twilight spoke, the more she sounded like a little kid on Christmas morning working her way around to the giant present in the back. Then again, should I have been worried? It was not like she was going to try to activate it and see what happened. That would be like incanting a potentially powerful spell without knowing what it did first. Surely she was smart enough not to do that. Twilight paused and lowered her head slightly. "Wait ... I think ... yes, some part of this is designed to draw in energy of some sort. Perhaps I can follow that path to see the internal structure." Or, then again ... "That is exactly its purpose. Yes, I can see the thaumic matrix. Classic Starswirl technique! This is amazing! This is truly a previously undiscovered artifact of his! But what kind of energy does it store? The leyline anchors are most unusual." The pendant was starting to glow brighter than her horn. "Um, Twilight, do you really think you--" "I almost have it ... I can almost see it ..." The pendant glowed brighter still and began vibrating. "Twilight??" "Just a little further and ... and ... OH!!" The glow on her horn died with a sizzling snap, and she was suddenly thrown backwards. She fell on her back with a loud thump. "Twilight!" I cried, bolting to my hooves and galloping over to her. "Are you all right?!" Twilight struggled to right herself. "I was pushed back!" she said in a voice of both shock and amazement. "Something pushed me back!" "Well, you said it had an anti-tamper thing on it, right?" I said as she righted herself. Smoke still wafted from her horn, the tip of which glowed incendiary red. "Twilight, y-your horn, it's--" She licked a fore-hoof and pressed it to her horn. The glow disappeared with a brief sizzle. "Just some mana blowback. I'll be fine in a minute or two. And, no, this was not a mere anti-tamper spell. My magic was forcibly pushed out of the artifact. It must have something to do with the function of the artifact itself." I swallowed. "But ... i-it's safe, right?" Twilight looked at me. "I'm sorry?" "You said if it's safe, I could have it back." "Oh, yes, of course, but ... well, whatever this is, it's potentially very powerful." "But it's safe." Twilight sighed. "With regards to your safety as to the magic contained inside the artifact, yes. But if it is this powerful, wearing it will make you a target." "I thought you and the other princesses could protect me. Has that changed?" "Well, no, of course not." "Then I think maybe you just want the excuse to keep studying this thing, and I'll never get it back." Yeah, I was telling off a princess. Maybe it would turn out to be the stupidest thing I had ever done, but I was upset. I didn't always think when I was emotional. Because if I had been thinking, I would have realized that Twilight had a point. Wearing that pendant now would be like hanging a gold bar around my neck and taking a stroll in a crime-ridden neighborhood back home. The gold bar was inherently safe, but it made me a target for theft, and not every thief cared whether their victims lived or not. Yet it made the emotional impact of parting from it no less. My mother was the one who first gave it to me, back when I was five and her fashion industry was going through a very tough time. She knew it was cheap -- her vague claims later that it was some sort of heirloom notwithstanding -- and hoped I would not notice. It wouldn't have mattered if I had. I saw it as a symbol of her love for me, and that was all that mattered. I gave that pendant to Michelle when I was thirteen shortly after my mother's death from a drug overdose. I was so very distraught at the time. Michelle helped me like no other friend ever had. I gave her that pendant as a sign of that friendship. She knew it was inherently a worthless trinket, but she also knew how much it meant to me. She almost refused to accept it. Then it came back to me after she died. "Even if you leave the artifact down here--" Twilight began. "Pendant!" I cried. "It's not some exotic magical artifact to me. It's a pendant, an important keepsake." "I'm sorry," Twilight said in a soft voice. "Even if you leave the pendant down here, it is still yours. I will not give it to anypony else. I can put it under a powerful protection spell, stronger than the holding spell they used in the hospital. In fact ..." She smiled. "... I'll go further. I'll make you a Pinkie Promise." I blinked. "A Pinkie ... Promise?" "It's hard to break. It has magic even I don't understand. So, I pledge that this pendant will remain yours and will not be given to anypony else. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I couldn't help it. I giggled. Twilight turned to the pedestal. "Let's see, horn recovered?" She levitated the pendant back to the center of the pedestal. "Good. Now then ..." Her horn glowed, and a half-sphere of energy formed over the pedestal. "There. About the only pony who can get past that is Princess Celestia." I nodded and managed a small smile. "Thank you." I reached up with a hoof to where the pendant once rested against my chest. "It will feel funny being without it." "I do hope I can return it to you, perhaps after the summit is over and the immediate danger has passed," said Twilight. "Now, I have one more thing I need to do, and you can head back to your room." "Oh?" "I'm sorry to do this, but it's necessary given what happened. I want to cast a spell that will reveal whether you are a changeling or not." My eyes widened. "But I'm not--!" "I know you're not," Twilight said quickly. "But we're doing this on everypony. I'll be casting it on my friends as well. It's a precaution only, and I don't want to be seen as playing favorites." Was that why Applejack was always looking at me funny? And why Rainbow Dash was initially suspicious of me? I guess if it allayed their fears, it was worth it. "A-all right. Will this hurt?" Twilight smiled as she stepped back. "Not at all, but it may tingle a little. Now, hold still." She charged her horn. I indeed felt a vague pins-and-needles sensation start at my hooves and sweep upwards. Where the spell touched me, a dark shadow lay over that part of my body. The black was covered in many tiny purple sparkles, like glitter on dark velvet. Scattered among them, however, were a few red sparkles. They followed no pattern, just a random crimson point here and there. When she was done, Twilight paused, looking thoughtful. "S-something wrong?" I asked. "Let me do that again." Once more she swept the spell over me. Once more I saw lots of purple sparkles with some scattered red. "Well?" I asked. Twilight smiled. "You're not a changeling, but we already knew that. Sorry, had to adjust my magic a bit. It's a relatively new spell, and I'm still working out some of the kinks. Here, let me take you back to your room." While I was grateful to know I was really a pony (how ironic is that) I could not help but feel like something else had just happened that Twilight had not expected. After I returned to my room and Twilight was away, I made another attempt to figure out how to use my horn. Maybe Twilight had been right all along and the pendant was interfering with my magic. I used a pillow from the bed, figuring if it got flung across the room, at least it wouldn't break anything. After getting nothing but sparks from my horn in the first few attempts, I managed to knock it to the floor in a random direction. I tried to lift it back up to the bed, but all it did was quiver a bit. When I pushed harder like I had in the hospital, a seam burst, and feathers went flying. I sighed and shoved the damaged pillow and escaped feathers under the bed with my hooves. Since the doctor had said my horn was healthy, that meant only one thing: I needed somepony to actually teach me how to do this. I probably should not have tried it when I was already so tired, but it was the only time when I was sure Twilight would be too busy to check on me. She had told me she needed to host a meeting that evening. I had responded that I was going to read for a bit and then head on to sleep. I did not get much further in the Daring Do book before I felt too drowsy to continue as the excitement of the day and my ill-timed magic-wielding attempt caught up with me. My mane suddenly felt odd, like something had fallen into it, but I assumed I was just tired and my perceptions were wonky. Thoughts of sleep flew from my head when I was jolted back to full alertness by the sound of a distant, thunderous crash. My heart thumped, and my hoof automatically reached for the pendant that was not there, which itself caused another spike of panic before I remembered leaving it Twilight's lab. I debated as to whether to investigate the noise. Technically nopony told me I had to stay in my room or that certain parts of the castle were off limits to me. Curiosity got the best of me, and I ventured out of my room. The clopping of my hooves echoed rather eerily through the empty hall. My mother had lived in a mansion during the heyday of her career, but it had been nowhere near this big. Once I got to the end of the guest hall, I realized I did not quite remember from which direction Spike had led me. I tried anyway, figuring so long as I kept the layout in my head enough to get back to my room, I would not get lost. This became a moot point when I heard a sharp, shrill scream. I took off at full gallop, though my attempt to follow a straight line path to where I thought the scream had originated was thwarted by the convoluted layout of the castle. I blundered into a dining hall, a kitchen, and a library before winding up in a lobby before a set of tall doors. I heard faint, muffled voices from beyond them. I trotted up to the doors and raised a fore-hoof to knock but hesitated. I instead turned my head and pressed my ear to one of them. "--will just get evasive or defensive," said a voice I thought was Rarity. "I suspect the same would be true in this case as well." "But she's more mature than that, isn't she?" came Fluttershy's voice. Twilight's voice followed. "Still, I think Rarity has a point. Let's not put her on the spot. We'll wait for now and--" I pulled my ear from the door and took a step back, my heart hammering. I tried not to assume the worst, that they were talking about me. I should not have been listening in on their private matters, anyway. If Twilight had wanted me at that meeting, she would have said so. I was about to turn away when the doors burst open. "Oh, hello!" said a smiling Pinkie Pie. I stared. Her pink fur and hair were splotched with powdery white. Twilight appeared beside her. "Oh, um, hi," she said, clearly not expecting to see me. "Is there something wrong? Did you need something?" "Um ... I just ... s-sorry, I heard something like a crash and then a scream, and ..." I trailed off, my eyes widening. Fluttershy had appeared, her coat also splotched with white. She had something sticking out of her mane. It was a little plushie unicorn that looked like, well, me. My jaw dropped when Rarity appeared. Why in God's name was she dressed in a frilly green maid outfit, her mane and tail done into tight buns? And that white powder looked like ... flour?? "Uh ..." I said as my brain sputtered. "What ... why ...??" Rarity sighed as she trotted forward. "Pay no mind to all this, darling. We, ah, had an unexpected incident at the meeting. And, yes, I know, this outfit clashes horribly with my hair. And these awful frills!" She shivered violently. "So last season. It was not exactly my choice." I nodded slowly. I glanced past her and caught a glimpse of a grumbling Spike as he used a broom to sweep up more flour on the floor of the chamber beyond. I only just caught sight of what looked like a large, round table and some high-backed chairs arranged around it before Applejack and Rainbow Dash appeared and blocked the view. All six of them were here for this meeting? Were they all on some sort of community council or town board? I would hardly think a princess would be running something so mundane. "Everything is okay," said Fluttershy. "That was very kind of you to check on us." This was one of those cases where I both wanted and did not want to know what had happened at that meeting. For all I knew, this apparent strangeness was part of some odd Equestrian cultural practice, and it would be best if I did not express too much ignorance. Then again, whatever had happened could have been magic-related, given Twilight's propensity for pushing her curiosity a little too far, if the incident with the pendant was typical for her. I forced a small smile. "Well, so long as everypony is okay, I can just head back to my--" Pinkie Pie suddenly surged forward. "Oo, you have a surprise for us?" she said with an eager smile. "Huh? What to you mean?" She giggled. "You're hiding something!" My heart raced. "I'm not!" "Oh, yes, you aaaare!" Pinkie sang. "It's right there in your mane. What is it? Did you bring us some goodies to eat?" I just stared at her. By now she had drawn the curiosity of the others. I raised a hoof to my mane. "Really, I have no idea what ... you ..." My eyes widened as my hoof touched something small and solid buried in my curls. "Come on, let's see it!" Pinkie chirped as she reached her own hoof to my mane and plucked something out of it. "Aw, it's just a pendant." Twilight gasped. "Wait, what?!" I was just as shocked. Hanging from Pinkie's hoof by the chain was my pendant. "But we had left that in the lab!" Twilight said. "I know!" I cried. "I-I didn't take it back! I didn't go anywhere near the lab after we left!" "I believe you." "Please, you have to ... um ... you do?" Twilight took the pendant from Pinkie in her magic. "Just to be safe, I had placed an additional spell on the pedestal to warn me if anypony attempted to take the artifact. Since it never triggered, the artifact -- I'm sorry, the pendant -- must have returned itself to you." She looked at me. "Do you ever recall that happening before?" I was going to answer in the negative until I remembered once when I was a child, about a year after my mother had first given it to me. I had gone on a trip with her and had accidentally left the pendant at home. The maid even confirmed over the phone that it was right there on my dresser. The next morning, I found it in my luggage. My mother had reprimanded the maid for being so badly mistaken, but the maid swore that she had seen it. "Maybe once," I said. "But at the time I thought I was mistaken about leaving it at home." "What does this mean, Twi?" Applejack asked. "It means this has some sort of rather powerful binding magic associated with it," said Twilight. "As long as this filly is considered the pendant's owner, it cannot be separated from her." I swallowed hard. "You mean, I can't get rid of it even if I tried?" "Binding magic like this can be broken only if you willingly give up ownership of the pendant to another," Twilight said. "Then it likely becomes bound to them in turn." "So that's what the changeling was trying to do?" Rainbow asked. "Yes, the changeling was trying to frighten her into willingly giving it up." "It almost worked," I said in a small voice. "Didn't ya say the changelin' tried ta snatch it while she was Nurse Redheart?" said Applejack. "Don't make sense if it woulda jus' come right back to her." "Maybe I was mistaken about that," I said. "It was hard to tell." "Or the changeling didn't know about the binding magic at the time," said Twilight. She turned towards me. "If you still want me to keep this separated from you, the only way I can do it is if you willingly give it up to me. There's no other way. Maybe with a great deal of time and research I can find a way to break the binding magic, but not anytime soon." I stared at the pendant. As much danger as it now represented, I still found it hard to give up, especially to somepony who I only just started to get to know. Maybe I could more easily give it to somepony like Fluttershy or even Rarity, but if that would put them in danger, I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them. I already felt responsible for Michelle's death. I didn't want another on my conscience. "I think I know what your answer is," Twilight said softly. I swallowed and nodded. She gently fit the chain around my neck, and I heard a faint click. "The clasp closed by itself," said Twilight. "It definitely still wants to belong to you." Fluttershy drew near and gave me a hug. "It's okay, Twilight won't let anything happen to you." "Twi, are ya sure there ain't nothin' else ya can do?" Applejack said. "Not really, not before the summit," said Twilight. "An' there ain't no other way to break this here bindin' magic ya were talkin' about?" Twilight paused a long moment. "There is only one other way it can be broken," she said in a somber voice. "And that's with the death of the pony it's bound to." The other ponies gasped. I felt my blood turn to ice. "She won't let that happen!" Fluttershy said, her voice quavering despite its conviction. "Certainly not!" Rarity said as she stepped before me. "You can count on Twilight. She has always come through for all of us." "An' we all try to come through fer her," said Applejack. "We'll help any way we can." "Yeah, we won't let that flying bag of ugly touch a single hair on your mane!" Rainbow Dash said. I would have been more touched by this outpouring of support if I were still not feeling guilty over what I was still keeping from them. I again debated as to whether to tell them or not. Would they be so keen on helping me if they knew I was not really one of them? Like in the alley, I was still a coward. I decided to wait a little longer. Get past this damn summit and the immediate danger -- like Twilight had said earlier -- and then we could talk when my life was not riding on their continued good nature. Michelle, you likely never intended to put me through all this trouble, but I still hope it will be worth it in the end. > Chapter 7 - What's In A Name? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am human. The thought is an odd one. Perhaps I am simply reminding myself that no matter how much I have been lurching through life on automatic since my mother died, I am still a human being with desires and ambitions. Yet that does not explain why I stand in the middle of this urban blight, where pale artificial light glimmers off brackish puddles, and grime hangs in the air like a miasma. What could possibly-- My cell phone warbles. Compared to the sepulchral dimness, the light from my phone is like a blazing sun. Yet I need not squint to read the text message glowing in stark black. please come quick if you want to see What? It ... it makes no sense. See what? Come to where? I don't even know where exactly I am. No, wait! This is from Michelle! I've been trying to reach her all day! This is her apartment building! "Michelle, I'm coming!" I yell as I bolt towards the door. I take the stairs two at a time. It comes rushing back to me: Michelle shacking up in drug lord territory; the rumors about me on drugs; her refusing to answer texts or calls. Why did I not come sooner? Why was I standing out there on the street like a confused fool? I leap off the stairs and hit the hallway at a dead run. I am almost at the door to Michelle's apartment when the hallway suddenly stretches, and my legs ache just from the effort to keep the ground I have already gained. Somehow, I manage to overtake it, and I am finally before the door. I am about to pound on it when I hear Michelle's voice. "I love you ... I love you s-so much, l-like the little sister I never had ... b-but ..." My eyes widen. Who is she talking to? I know she cared about me, but she never expressed anything like that. I knew of several other friends she had, but I had no idea she felt that way towards any of them. "B-but ... you're ... you're d-doing something to me ... I don't know what it is ... wh-why ..." "Michelle!" I scream. I start pounding on the door. "Michelle! Are you all right?! What's happening??" I hear a loud thud, like something heavy -- or someone -- falling to the floor. I back up and throw my shoulder at the door, but it feels like hitting a brick wall. "Why are you doing this to me?!" Michelle wails, and I have no more time. I need to get in. My heart is racing. I can't fail her again! I need to (SEE) get in before it's too late! "I thought you were my friend!" I kick the door. I want to scream. I want to (SEE) reach her in time! The door finally yields, and I burst inside. I gasp as I realize someone is standing ... ... ... no, wait ... I thought ... There is no one but my friend, lying on the floor, writhing among the detritus of a drug addiction I never knew she had. It makes little sense, but these things never do. I drop to my knees by her side, but there is nothing I can do for her. She's dying, and it's my fault for not seeing the warning signs, for not reaching her in time. Again. I learned nothing from my mother's death. I likely had turned as much a blind eye towards Michelle as I had towards my mother. Now I sit crying by my dead friend clutching a useless pendant in my trembling hands. I am back on the street again. I don't run this time. I let the pursuers close with me. Maybe this time they'll get it right. I tuck my head down to let the darkness take me. The footsteps suddenly cease. I see silvery brilliance out of the corner of my eye. I lift my tear-stained face to a heavenly starry expanse and a bright silver moon. I flinch as I hear a clop of hooves. I swallow hard and look to the side. A midnight blue alicorn gazes down at me. "I still do not know what you are," she says softly. "But you are tortured by something you cannot grasp." I slowly stand. "I-I ... what?" "It is most odd. I cannot fathom what force is trying to help you. There is something strangely familiar about it, yet very ... alien." I swallow hard. "I'm b-being helped?" "Yes, but by what or who, I do not know." She pauses and takes a step closer. "But I do know who is preventing you from being helped." "Who?" "You." My eyes flew open. The room was dark, save for a single moonbeam which bathed the blanket in pale radiance. The moon itself was like a large baleful silver eye, cast down as if in judgment. You are your only judge. "What?!" I called out. "Who's there?! I ..." This time I saw it. I almost fell on my muzzle in my mad scramble to get out of bed and to the window. It was not an illusion. Right there, superimposed on the moon was the head of a midnight blue pony with a long tapering horn. As I stared in no small amount of awe and fear, it faded from view. I stumbled back into bed, breathing hard, my heart pounding. If this had been Earth, I would be convinced that I was going insane. But on a world that itself seemed insane, I had no idea what to think, other than the possibility that the pony in my dream was real. That scared me more than anything the dream itself could conjure. I next awoke to sunlight. I had no idea what time it was, as the room did not have a clock. From as bright as it was outside, it must have been some way into the morning. The dream seemed no less surreal by the light of day, but it had lost some of its edge. I could at least function without brooding over the imagery or the identity of that pony. I managed to shower well enough unassisted. Using the hair-dryer was a bit of a challenge despite the handle being designed for hooves. I got myself dry, but my mane and tail were a bit poofy. I really needed to learn basic pony grooming. I never had this much hair to deal with in my life. After putting the pendant back on, I was about as ready as I was going to be to face my third day as a pony. I opened the door and stepped into the hall. "Good morning, Miss." I flinched and stumbled back from the deep voice that sounded from my immediate left, my gaze falling on a rather muscular pegasus stallion wearing golden armor, one fore-leg curled around a long spear. I very nearly backed into his cohort, who flanked my door on the other side. "Sorry to startle you, Miss," said the first pegasus. "You were still asleep when we were posted here and had orders not to wake you." "There you are, sleepyhead!" came a familiar bubbly voice from down the hall. I stepped away from the door and gazed down the passage. Pinkie Pie stood a short distance away, and next to her was Rarity (thankfully sans maid outfit and her hair back to normal). "Good morning, darling," said Rarity with a smile. She was levitating a rolled-up banner into place above the next door down. "Did you have a good rest?" "Good morning," I said. "Um, yeah, more or less." Rarity finished hooking the ends of the banner, giving it one final magical nudge to unroll it. A stylized yellow sun stood against a field of sky blue. "Give us a few minutes to finish with the decorations, and we can all head to the dining room for breakfast." "And then we're gonna go into town after that!" Pinkie Pie said, bouncing once. "I thought I had to stay in the castle for the duration of the summit," I said. Rarity moved to the next door further down. I trotted a short distance to follow. The two pegasi guards followed, staying in formation just behind me. A second rolled-up banner glowed in Rarity's magical grip as she spoke. "The summit does not officially start until this afternoon when all the delegates arrive, so we have some time. Besides, you ought to have your mane and tail styled properly in case you run into somepony important." I would have been perfectly content to stay holed up in my room for the duration. "And this way you get to see Ponyville!" Pinkie said. "But we do have to take care of one eensie little thing before we go." Rarity levitated the second banner into place. "Are you still going to insist on that this morning?" "But what if we meet some of our friends? I need some way to introduce her." "I really think we should wait to hear if Mayor Mare has discovered any information on her." The banner unrolled. I would have only glanced at it if it had not been a large crescent moon set against midnight blue. Please let that be a coincidence. "But I got the book here and everything," said Pinkie. I tore my gaze from the banner in time to see Pinkie reach into her mane and pull out a book far larger than anything I thought could be hidden in a mane. The title of the book was "The Puntastic Guide to Foal Naming (Second Edition) by Pinkamena Diane Pie." Oh, dear God. Wait. Diane? Why the hell did that name translate to Equestrian and not Rachel?? Rarity trotted over to us. "Very well, but only if she consents to it." She turned to me. "So it's up to you. Would you like Pinkie to try to come up with a name? I do admit, it would be nice to have a form of address for you." I had to agree with that sentiment myself. How bad could this be? I had already heard and read some rather silly names and nopony seemed to bat an eye at them. "Well, as long as I get to approve it." "Of course, dear," said Rarity. "Yippee!" Pinkie cried. She plopped herself down on her haunches and opened the book. "Hmm, let's see, important info first." She eyed me. "Blue fur, red and orange hair, sixteen, no cutie mark, from Manehattan, it's a Tuesday--" Tuesday? What did that have to do with-- "--it's sunny, we're having pancakes for breakfast, some fruit on the side, pastries ... mmm, pastries ... sweet, tasty pastries ..." "Pinkie, dear, please focus," said Rarity. "Hey, this is all important stuff!" said Pinkie. She glanced at the book before looking at me. "Fruit Pastry!" I glanced helplessly at Rarity. Rarity rolled her eyes. "Pinkie, please, get on with it." "I did!" Pinkie chirped. "Fruit Pastry is a great name!" "Uh, no," I said. "Try again, dear," said Rarity. "Sweet Pastry, maybe?" Pinkie suggested. "I don't think so," I said. "Sweet Fruit?" "No." "Fruity Sweets?" "Um, no." "Fruity Orange?" "Huh?? No!" "Orange Cherry?" "I don't think--" "Cherry Delight?" "No." "Cherry Booty?" "What?? No!" "Cherry Mint?" "That doesn't even make--" "Minty Fresh?" "Pinkie, stop--" "Fresh Fruit!" "STOP!" Pinkie pouted, and her hair actually seemed to deflate slightly. "Aw, I was just getting to the really good names." Rarity peered down at the book. "Pinkie, are all these names based on food?" "Well, heehee, maybe I was a little hungry when I wrote the book." I face-hoofed. "Look, Pinkie, I appreciate this, but maybe this isn't going to work." "I agree," said Rarity. "We should focus on more important matters." She turned to me. "For instance, despite the fact that we're going to the stylist this morning, I am tempted to help you brush your mane into something more manageable." "I dunno, I kinda like her poofy look," Pinkie said as she closed the book. "It just makes the colors seem all over the place." "Oo, but I like it that way. Looks kinda swirly. Reminds me of these little candies we make at Sugarcube Corner sometimes. Cherry and orange fruit flavors all swirled together. Mmm, they're really good!" Pinkie suddenly gasped, and her hair popped out to full inflation. "That's it! I've got it! The perfect name for her! Candy Swirl!" I blinked. Candy Swirl? Candy Swirl?? Okay, you know what? That's not half bad, especially compared to the other names. I used to know a girl named "Candy" back on Earth, so at least it wasn't totally alien. Rarity smiled. "That actually does sound like a rather lovely name." And the refined Rarity liked it. Sold. "I'm good with that, then." "In that case, I suggest we head over to the dining hall." Pinkie slipped the book into her mane. "Oh, but what about a banner for Queen Chrysalis' room?" "Nopony can tell me if the changelings even have a flag," said Rarity. "I will see if I can put something together at the boutique while we're in town later. I was lucky to do what I have on such short notice." "Short notice?" I asked. "The summit was originally supposed to take place in Canterlot. Queen Chrysalis decided to change the venue to the Castle of Friendship two days ago." She paused. "I have to admit, I do wonder why Twilight did not ask me to help with the preparations when it was in Canterlot." "She didn't ask me, either," said Pinkie. "Yeah, that was kinda strange." "Well, I'm sure she had a good reason. Shall we go?" The two guards were apparently not assigned to my room, but to me, personally. They followed me to the dining room and stood watch just outside the door. Other armored pegasi and some unicorns patrolled the hallways. Twilight was already at the table, enjoying a cup of tea. After Rarity, Pinkie, and I took our places, that left only one more seat, which I assumed was for Spike given it was higher than the others. "Will Fluttershy not be joining us?" Rarity asked. "Well, it is Tuesday," said Twilight. "Hmph! Considering what happened at the meeting last night, it would serve him right for her to cancel their weekly tea." "Yes, but you know her, she won't." "But she will miss out on the spa treatment." Rarity said. "I suppose it cannot be helped. We'll stop by her place afterward and see if she wants to join us." "Somepony has a new naaaame!" Pinkie sang. Twilight glanced at me. "Oh, did you remember your name?" "Er, no, but Pinkie helped pick out one," I said. "Go on, tell her!" Pinkie said, nudging me with her hoof. "You gotta start getting used to it!" "The name we came up with was, uh, Candy Swirl." I felt a little ridiculous saying it, but Twilight smiled. "That sounds like a perfectly fine name for you, Candy." Hearing myself called that was even weirder, but I smiled just the same. "Thank you." "Spike will have breakfast out in a few minutes. Would you like some tea in the meantime?" Still no coffee? Maybe they didn't have that in Equestria. Then again, considering the perpetual manic energy machine in the shape of a pink mare that was Pinkie Pie, perhaps coffee was banned just to prevent her from getting her hooves on caffeine. I wanted something hot, so tea it was. "Yes, please." "Some tea for me as well, Twilight, thank you," said Rarity. "So, Candy, dear -- so nice to finally have a name to call you by -- I thought I would show you my boutique after we are done with your spa treatment and mane styling. Hopefully Fluttershy can join us then." "Oh, sure, I'd like to see it," I said as Twilight levitated cups before Rarity and I. I really was curious, to be honest. "In fact, I would like to make something for you in case you wanted to attend any formal functions during the summit." Well, that at least explained when ponies wore clothing. "I don't want to put you to a lot of trouble." "Oh, it's no trouble at all." "I really wasn't planning on any formal functions, to be honest," said Twilight as she poured tea into our cups in turn with her magic. "Nonsense, darling, you have to have at least one formal dinner. How else are you going to introduce Candy to the princesses?" "Um, really, I would not mind staying holed up in my room," I said. Not that I was a stranger to formal functions. My mother had held them a lot. As I got older, I actually enjoyed attending them. By the time I was eleven, I started looking forward to them. "But how are you going to have your cake and other goodies if you stay in your room?" Pinkie asked. "I would just skip dessert, I guess?" Pinkie gasped. "Skip dessert?? After you had to miss so many of them when you were out on the streets? You need extra desserts just to catch up!" I had a feeling if I hung out with Pinkie too much, I would either seriously put on weight or be on a constant sugar rush. "Besides, Twilight, wouldn't it be safer to have Candy and her pendant where she has many eyes on her?" said Rarity. "It would be a lot harder for any shenanigans to happen in that case." Twilight sighed as she set down the teapot. "Rarity, I'm already feeling a little frazzled trying to keep track of everything else for the summit. I don't have time to prepare for a formal dinner!" "Oh, I can take care of it, Twilight," said Pinkie. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake would be glad to help out, too." "There you go, problem solved," Rarity said with a smile as she lifted her teacup with her magic. I looked down at mine. I had not planned this out well. I felt silly asking for a straw for tea. Certainly there was a way to do this. Earth ponies and pegasi must have to do this all the time. Pinkie had held that book of hers between her hooves so easily earlier, so ... Okay, I felt dumb. I had to stop thinking like a human and start thinking like a pony. The fact that the cup did not have the little ringlet for a finger should have given me a clue that I just had to use one more than the usual number of appendages to lift it. "Is there a problem, dear?" Rarity said. "Huh? Oh, no, I'm fine," I said. I carefully closed both my fore-hooves around the cup. It took a few tries to get the cup positioned correctly so that I had a good grip on it, but I managed to lift it and take a sip. It tasted ... flowery. That was the best way to describe it. Maybe infused with a bit of honey. I actually liked it. "Candy, have you tried using your magic when you're not wearing your pendant?" Twilight asked. "When I examined it yesterday, I realized the reach of its magical energy does not extend that far. A few feet should be enough to eliminate any interference." "Uh, no, I haven't tried that," I lied. "I promise I will later." "I don't see any rush," said Rarity. "She is perfectly capable of using her hooves." I silently thanked Rarity for the save. I really was starting to like her about as much as I did Fluttershy. Though I sensed Twilight had been hoping for the change in topic. She was sounding a little stressed out. I tried to help her a bit. "So will these guards be with me outside the castle as well?" "Yes, you'll have two guards assigned to you at all times until the summit is over," said Twilight. "Oo, but how do we know they're not changelings?" Pinkie asked. Despite all her craziness, Pinkie Pie sometimes managed to say something insightful. I had been thinking the exact same thing. "Not to worry," said Twilight. "I am going to be using my detection spell on everypony who enters the castle. I used it to scan every guard who arrived earlier this morning." That definitely made me feel better. "That reminds me. I heard from Mayor Mare earlier that the sheriff's stallions found the real Nurse Redheart. She's safe and sound now, but doesn't remember what happened to her." "Oh, good!" Rarity said. "I was concerned for her myself." "I'm glad to hear she's okay," I said. "She really was nice to me that first day at the hospital." "I'll have to make sure to go cheer her up later!" said Pinkie. "Breakfast is ready!" Spike called out from the kitchen. I was glad to hear that, as now I was talking simply to drown out my rumbling stomach. I had to admit, the equine sense of smell was amazing. Pancakes had never smelled so good. I did get a little self-conscious when I saw Rarity delicately eating her breakfast with a fork she held so expertly with her magic, carefully avoiding getting even the least speck of syrup or fruit on her muzzle. I felt a little bit like when I was a kid trying to impress my mother with my good table manners. I was grateful for Pinkie Pie's presence. Her eating style was ... enthusiastic, let's just leave it at that. Despite having to dip my muzzle into my food, I still looked like the picture of elegance compared to her. Though I did find myself using a lot of napkins, especially anytime Rarity glanced at me. I was startled by a rather loud crunch from across the table, and all I could do was stare. Spike had a plate of gemstones before him and he had just bitten into one. Seriously, he ate a gemstone like it was no harder than bread. He noticed me looking at him and popped the rest of the gemstone into his mouth. "What?" "Er, nothing, sorry," I said. "No, wait, do I have something on me?" Spike brushed himself off with his claws. "I've been trying not to make a mess." "Um, no, you're fine." "Are you sure? Are my spines not straight?" I gave him a wary look. Why was he so worried about this? "Not to worry, my little Spikey-Wikey," Rarity said with a gentle smile. "You look absolutely fabulous this morning. A true gentledragon." Did Rarity just call him by a pet name? And now Spike was blushing? "I always try to look my best for you, Rarity," said Spike with a very overt look of puppy dog eyed affection. O-kay, I had no idea whether to find that endearing or be totally creeped out by it. The moment was spoiled when Spike's eyes widened, and his cheeks puffed out. He uttered a tremendous belch of green fire that made me flinch, and I nearly did a double-take when a scroll popped into existence from the flames and fell to the table. Twilight levitated the scroll and unfolded it before her eyes. "This is from Princess Celestia. I had sent her a letter late last night before heading on to bed just to let her know what was going on." "Anything you can share, Twilight?" Rarity asked. "Just that she believes I'm handling things well concerning the summit and the pendant." I heard a measure of relief in Twilight's voice. Perhaps this Princess Celestia was her superior? Or simply somepony she wanted to impress? "She also states she and Princess Luna will be arriving at three this afternoon." "What about Queen Chrysalis?" I asked. "She'll arrive by nightfall." "Well, I suppose she is technically royalty," said Rarity. "And thus entitled to be fashionably late." Good. That way I could retire for the evening before she arrived and not risk running into her. At least from what I saw of the arrangements, she was going to be at the opposite end of the hallway from me. "That will give me more time to come up with a banner for her," Rarity continued. "Not to mention it allows me to spend most of the morning with Candy." I had to remind myself that was my name. It was another new anchor in this world. "Rachel" was slowly ceasing to exist. I supposed that was what I had thought I had wanted when I had agreed to this in the first place. That might be another reason why I was reluctant to confess my origins. If I never had to do that, then I could just assume this new identity and leave the old one behind. The pendant was really the only thing holding me to the past. I know, I sounded like I was waffling, wanting one minute to preserve my old life and humanity, the next-- "Oh, I don't think there are any waffles this morning," Pinkie said. "Just pancakes." "Wh-what?" I sputtered. "So you'll just have to go pancaking instead. It's kinda like waffling, but more flat." "But ... why did you even say that??" "I dunno. Something I read, maybe?" Twilight chuckled. "Don't worry, Candy, she's just being Pinkie Pie." "I would also advise avoiding spending too much time trying to understand her," said Rarity with a smile. "It will only give you a headache." I could have said that for a lot about this world. Rarity dabbed a napkin against her muzzle -- not that it was needed considering how meticulous she had been through the whole meal -- and left her seat. "I need to freshen up a bit before we go. I will meet Candy and Pinkie by the main entrance." Pinkie proceeded to finish off the rest of her breakfast in one massive bite. She looked like a pony-shaped chipmunk from the way her cheeks puffed out before she swallowed. "See ya in a bit, Candy!" she said as she slid off her seat and trotted away. Twilight uttered a wistful sigh. "I wish I could go into town with the rest of you girls." "It's okay, Twilight," I said. I managed a smile. "You've been really nice to me, letting me stay in your castle." "It was my pleasure." "I guess I shouldn't get too used to it, if I'm eventually going to move in with somepony else. Do you happen to know who I'll be fostered to?" Spike smiled. "That would be none other than the beauti -- ow!" Twilight had clopped her hoof against the back of his head. "Ah, actually, she wants that to be a surprise," said Twilight with a smile. "You coulda told me that before," Spike grumbled. "I did, but you apparently forgot in your enthusiasm," Twilight said out of the corner of her mouth. Spike blushed. "Yeah, I did." He turned to me. "Forget I said anything!" Uh-huh. I supposed I should have been proud of myself that I had managed to put two and two together in that strange world and not come up with five, three, or fish. This would put everything I was going to experience that morning under a new light. > Chapter 8 - Morning In Ponyville > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Welcome to Ponyville!" Pinkie Pie had jumped in front of us as we reached the end the road leading away from the castle, throwing her fore-hooves into the air as she gave her enthusiastic cry. She once more somehow conjured confetti out of thin air, which rained down upon myself, Rarity, and the two guards. "Ah, darling?" Rarity said with a sigh as she brushed glittery bits out of her mane with her hoof. "She's been in Ponyville for three days now." "Oh, but that was Sweet Apple Acres Ponyville, and then Hospital Ponyville, and then Castle Ponyville. She's never been to Ponyville Ponyville! And here it is!" Pinkie Pie stood to one side and gestured with a foreleg. "Ta-daaaah!" I braced myself. I was expecting the town to spontaneously break out into song. When this did not appear forthcoming, I could be content that at least the insanity of this place did not go quite that far. Though Pinkie did look eerily disappointed for a moment. The town was indeed far more busy than it had been the evening before. If I still had any doubts that I had been transported to a colorful pony world, this would have shattered them. I actually felt a little more at ease; being among this technicolor population made my own lurid color scheme look perfectly ordinary. Hardly anypony gave me a second glance. I noticed at once what was missing: children, or I supposed "foals" was the right term. I did see a few adult ponies carrying really small foals, likely no more than babies, but none older than that. It was a weekday, so I supposed they sent kids to school in this world just like they did on Earth. That suited me fine, to be honest. I was not that fond of little children, and I would just as soon not run into any if I could avoid it. "We should first head over to the spa," said Rarity. "Pinkie, will you be--?" I suddenly flinched so hard that I stumbled and bumped into Rarity when something roared overhead. I looked up, and for a moment I swore I was looking at a formation of fighter jets, colored bright blue and yellow. Only when I got a better look at their wings did I realize they were uniformed pegasi. Impossibly fast pegasi. Good God. "Are you all right, Candy?" Rarity asked. My heart was still racing. "Yes, sorry, I wasn't expecting that." "Yes, I know, I also wish the Wonderbolts would not fly quite so low. Rainbow Dash may be enamored of them, but I, for one, hope this summit is over soon so they can vacate our skies." So the Wonderbolts were effectively the Blue Angels, but, well, ponies. A voice from the other side of the street called out, "Heya, Pinkie!" I turned my head and saw two ponies looking towards us, a beige earth pony and a mint-green unicorn. The former was waving a fore-hoof. I could not quite make out their cutie marks from that distance. I was trying to pay more attention to those marks. They ran a rather wide gamut. Some were quite obvious in what talent they suggested, while others I felt were really open to interpretation. Like the stallion with the hourglass cutie mark I had spotted a moment ago. Did it mean he was good at time management? Making watches? Or something altogether different? And I still had no idea what Rarity's cutie mark meant. "Hi, Bon Bon, Lyra!" Pinkie called back. "Oo, Bon Bon! Perfect! Got a moment to talk?" The unicorn looked a bit nervous, but the earth pony called back in an enthusiastic voice, "Sure thing!" So there was a pony named Bon Bon. My name didn't seem as strange anymore. Pinkie turned to Rarity and I. "I'm gonna go talk to Bon Bon and see if I can get her help with the dinner at the castle before heading over to Sugarcube Corner." "Well, that answers the question I was trying to ask a moment ago," said Rarity. "I was going to extend the invitation for the spa treatment to you as well. My treat." "Aww, thanks, but I gotta get started on dinner plans. Come see me later at Sugarcube Corner, okay? Have a good time, Candy! See ya!" She waved and bounced off towards the other two ponies. I thought this rather fortuitous. If I was right about what Spike had almost revealed, I ought to get to know Rarity better. As friendly as Pinkie Pie was, she tended to be a bit of an overwhelming presence. I preferred her in smaller doses, similar to what I felt about Rainbow Dash but for different reasons. "Come, dear, let's go," said Rarity. The atmosphere of the town did not seem quite as lively as I had expected from a world of colorful ponies. That may have been due to the preponderance of the Royal Guard and uniformed deputies patrolling the streets. I assumed this was not normal for Ponyville. As much as the extra protection was likely warranted, it probably made the locals feel a bit nervous. I was glad not to be the only one worried about the summit. Rarity, however, seemed above such worries, as if she had faced this sort of trouble before, and this was simply old hat. "I must admit, I am rather excited about the possibilities concerning your styling. Your hair is long enough that I would recommend braids. Perhaps for the mane a red braid on one side and an orange braid on the other. The contrast would frame your face beautifully." I didn't think that the simple act of another taking an interest in my personal grooming could make me feel good, but it did just the same. Maybe because it felt almost normal. That was a word I had not had opportunity to use in a very long time. The last time I had used that term to describe myself was when I was twelve. It had not been long after that when my mother had begun her descent into drugs. "Is something the matter, Candy?" "Huh? Oh, um, nothing," I said. "Why do you ask?" "You looked sad all of a sudden." She had noticed that? Dammit. I had to go ruin a genuinely pleasant moment by wallowing in past regrets. What could I tell her? The truth? It would sound like I was just trawling for pity, so I fell back on what I had been doing best: lying. "Oh, just hoping to get past the summit and my amnesia and all that." Rarity gave me a gentle smile. Maybe that was still trawling, but the concerns I had expressed were nothing new. She appeared to accept it and moved on to talking about accessorizing. I simply listened and tried to enjoy the moment of relative calm. I had not expected a simple trip to the pony equivalent of a beauty salon to challenge my notions of what these ponies could do, but it did just the same. When the two earth ponies greeted us as we entered, I fully expected that they were simply the receptionists, that something as complex as grooming one adult pony and one almost adult pony required the intricacies of unicorn magic. So it was to my surprise to discover that Aloe and Lotus Blossom were the sole proprietors and attendants at this spa. Of course, before I had a chance to experience their prowess, there was the matter of my pendant. The guards had taken up position just outside the establishment to give us privacy, so they were not available to keep an eye on it. "We see that looks rather valuable," said Aloe. "We can secure it for you if you wish." Aloe's compatriot Lotus Blossom -- or perhaps sister, as they looked like color-swapped versions of each other -- trotted over with the handle of a crystalline box in her mouth. She set it down near me and opened the lid with a nudge of her hoof. "Just place it in here, dear, and touch your horn to it. It will be locked to you and only you can open it." Rarity rescued me from potential awkwardness. "Candy is having a little trouble with her magic. If she consents, I would be happy to lock it to myself instead." "Yes, I'm fine with that," I said as I lifted my hooves to remove the pendant. It did not quite dawn on me right away, but that was the first time I had not hesitated before trusting another pony. I justified it with the thought that the pendant would just return to me anyway if somepony tried to make off with it. I let Rarity pretty much direct the whole thing. Despite my upbringing, this was a bit of a new experience. My mother sometimes went for complex beauty regimes like this, but I had too much childlike restlessness to sit still for it. She had hinted at taking me to something like this for my sixteenth birthday. I quickly divorced my mind of that thought. I was finally starting to relax, and I didn't want to spoil it. Seriously, I was amazed at what these two ponies could do. The side effect was that the experience made me very keenly aware of how different my pony body was from my human body. That was not necessarily a bad thing. I had to learn how to deal with this body somehow. Certainly they knew just the right way to make muscles relax in places where I had only been vaguely aware I possessed such. Maybe I was simply getting tired of rebelling against this transformation. I managed to relax enough that I dozed a bit during our mutual silence imposed by the mud mask treatment. Aloe had to nudge me to full wakefulness before removing it. "Sorry," I said sheepishly. "No worry at all, dear," said Aloe with a smile. "I consider it a compliment." "Did you sleep okay last night?" Rarity asked after Lotus Blossom removed her mud mask. "Oh, um, mostly," I said. "I get a little restless sometimes when I sleep. Maybe just the stress of everything that happened lately." "Having any bad dreams?" "Sometimes. Nothing I can't handle, though." Aloe stepped up to me. "We have some enchanted herbal essences which may help with sleep. Would you be interested in trying some?" "We cannot guarantee you will not still have bad dreams," said Lotus Blossom. "Simply that it will help you get back to sleep more easily when you awaken during the night." Aloe smiled. "Yes, the essences are good, but they are no substitute for Princess Luna when dealing with nightmares." Wait, what?? "Are you okay, dear?" Rarity said. "You looked like you had a bit of a fright for a moment." Both Aloe and Lotus Blossom were also looking at me with some concern. I should have expected this. From what I had experienced the previous night at my window, it was clear that the recurring pony in my dreams was real. But Princess Luna? One of the two princesses who were coming to the castle for the summit? Would she instantly recognize me and know at once I was an alien? No, I had to calm down. She had specifically said that she had no idea what kind of creature I was. I never appeared as a pony in my dreams. I was still safe. If I could just stop having these damn dreams, maybe she would go away. "Um, I'm okay, sorry," I said. "So, these essences don't do anything to stop bad dreams?" "It really depends on the cause of your dreams, dear," said Aloe. "And we're not experts on that by any stretch of the imagination," said Lotus Blossom. "But if they are simply the result of common anxieties, then, yes, the essences may help." "And they are not terribly expensive." Rarity smiled. "I would be happy to purchase some for you, Candy, if you wish to try them." "Yes, please, thank you," I said. Certainly it was worth a shot. Anything to prevent my secret from getting out before I was ready. If I were ever ready. In the end, I had been fully bathed, massaged, pampered, exfoliated, groomed, and styled. I had no idea how much time had passed and really didn't care. All I could see was the end result. They managed to make me not want to avert my gaze when looking at my pony body in the mirror. I might have consented that I actually looked pretty rather than just simply cutesy. Ultimately they had abandoned the idea of two braids for a single larger braid for my mane, my red and orange hairs twined into a near perfect spiral of alternating hues. My tail had been deemed too thick for braiding unless I was willing to have it severely trimmed. Instead, they enhanced its natural waviness and used hair clips to keep it in check. While pink hearts would not have been my first choice for the motif, they insisted it blended in with my natural colors more. Hell, even my hooves looked good. The hooficure had left them with a smooth shine. "You look absolutely wonderful, my dear," said Rarity. "I daresay it is perhaps a blessing that there will be no young colts for you to distract at this dinner, for you would surely turn their heads easily." Dear God, that was not something I wanted to even think about, but I accepted the compliment at face value. "Thank you." I turned my head towards Aloe and Lotus Blossom. "And thank you as well. It really did turn out lovely." "We are most happy you are pleased, Miss Swirl," said Aloe. "Oh, do not forget your pendant!" said Lotus Blossom. I had indeed managed to stop thinking about it for awhile, so that was an added bonus. I almost didn't want to take it back, yet I still felt a sense of relief when Lotus Blossom brought over the crystal chest. Rarity dipped her head and touched her horn to the chest. It popped open at once, and she lifted the pendant to my neck with her magic, where I heard the faint click of the clasp engaging. "Let me pay for our treatments and your essences, and we can go." "Okay," I said. "Oh, um, I don't really have a way to carry them." "Not to worry, Miss Swirl," said Lotus Blossom. She and Aloe disappeared into the back and soon returned carrying what looked like two squarish canvas bags connected by thick straps. The outer parts were embroidered with the two ponies' cutie marks. I understood what they were when they were draped over my barrel, as I had recalled other ponies in town sporting something similar. "All first-time customers receive a complimentary saddle-bag," said Aloe as her compatriot grabbed several small bottles and deposited them in one of the bags. "Thank you," I said. I got to see Equestrian money for the first time. Rarity had a small velvet bag tucked into her mane closed with a drawstring. Inside were bright gold coins of various sizes. From her conversation with Lotus and Aloe over the final pricing, I learned they were called "bits." We bid our goodbyes and headed outside, the guards seamlessly falling into step with us as we left. "I thought we would detour by Fluttershy's cottage before heading over to Sugarcube Corner. You'll get to see more of the town that way." "Are you still planning on heading over to your boutique later?" I asked. "Of course. I am hoping to get there early enough to put in an hour or two of work before lunch, if you didn't mind waiting around." I really was curious as to how she worked. My memories of watching my mother make dresses were really vague. By the time I was six, she had already moved on to being a manager and no longer made anything by hand. A few years later, her stores had become largely automated. Watching a bunch of machines was not very interesting. "That's fine by me," I said. From the height of the sun in the sky, it looked to be about mid-morning. I guessed the spa treatment had not lasted quite as long as I had thought. I was relaxed enough that the roar of the Wonderbolts flying overhead did not perturb me this time. As they streaked away, I noticed that one of the members of the squadron was leaving a rainbow-colored trail. I squinted into the bright sky. "Is that Rainbow Dash up there?" "Yes, she's in the Wonderbolt reserves," said Rarity. "They must have called her up for duty. Either that, or she begged for the opportunity to fly with them. I would not have put that past her." I had pegged Rainbow to be a bit egotistical, but I supposed some of it was justified if she could fly that fast. Certainly I was grateful for her recognizing the changeling back at the hospital and protecting me until Twilight had arrived. As much as I was enjoying my morning with Rarity and looked forward to seeing Fluttershy again, I still wondered what drove them both to be so attentive to me. I tried not to think on it too hard. I wanted to hold on to these nice feelings and not worry about anything anymore. I wanted to trust Twilight and the other princesses to keep whatever forces wanted my pendant at bay and get on with life. "Rarity, can I ask you something?" I said. "Of course, anything." "What if I never get my memory back?" Rarity smiled gently. "Now, Candy, it helps to have a more positive outlook." "I know, but, please, humor me. What happens if it doesn't come back?" "I guess I am not sure what you mean. In what context?" I was not sure how to put it without, again, seeming like I was looking for somepony to take pity on me, or without revealing that I was pretty sure Rarity was intending to foster me. "How would ... how would the other ponies feel about that? How would you feel about that?" Rarity paused. Whether because she had been surprised by the question or was trying to find a nice way to let me down, I had no idea. When she finally did speak, it was in soft, measured tones. "We all would like to know who you really are, Candy. However, I doubt your past would ever change how we feel about you. We all have things in our pasts we are not proud of, if that is what you fear will be revealed. That doesn't change who we are now. Does that make sense?" It did, but I was not sure how relevant it was. I was not even sure who I was anymore. Was I still a human wrapped in a pony body? Was I a pony who simply used to be a human? Or was my human heritage even important anymore? The fact that I continued to dream of myself as human made the question even harder to answer. "Is there something you need to tell me, Candy?" Rarity asked. "No, not really," I said quickly. I was still taking the coward's way out. Fine, so be it. I had something good going, at least relative to what I had just a few days ago, and I didn't want to spoil it. "I'm probably worried over nothing. It just feels strange to be here. Um, in this situation, I mean." Rarity smiled faintly. "You feel suddenly thrust into the spotlight, as it were." "Yeah, I guess you could say that." "I know how that feels, despite the fact that my additional fame was occasional and fleeting." O-kay, I was not expecting that. Rarity was famous for something other than being a fashion designer? Did that have something to do with whatever council she was on involving Twilight? Should I show my ignorance and have her explain it, or just go along with it like I knew what she was talking about? Maybe whatever she was famous for was something relatively minor. Certainly she never claimed to have any further title like Twilight had. Even Aloe and Lotus Blossom referred to her as no more than "Miss Rarity." I had to know. "I'm sorry, Rarity, I don't recall what else you're famous for." "Quite all right. I tend not to be a braggart about it. I am an Element-bearer." I had no clue what that meant, and yet I felt like it was incredibly important. "Wow, really?" I said, hoping that was an appropriate response. "Yes, well, it's not something that comes up in casual conversation. To be perfectly honest, I would much rather be known for my beautiful designs, dressmaking skills, and excellent fashion sense. And I am more accurately a former Element-bearer, since we had to give them up." She had already implied there were more than one of these Element-bearers. I had a feeling I had hit a brick wall as to how far I could claim ignorance. This sounded like something most ponies would know. "I do hope you don't treat me any differently," said Rarity. "Really, it confers no other status or title upon me, nor does it change who I am." Well, that made it easier to hide my ignorance. "I understand, and I won't." A soft fondness came over her face. "But I do admit, I did look absolutely fabulous while wearing it. If there is one thing I miss, it's that." "Do the right thing, but make sure you look good doing it." The words had spilled from my mouth before I realized I had said them. I tried not to panic when Rarity looked at me, her eyes widening slightly. "Why, that's a rather good way to put it, Candy. Wherever did you hear that?" I had no time to come up with a suitable lie. "Oh, um, just something my mother said once," I mumbled. "Well, I would say she was a very wise mare, then." I forced a smile and just nodded. Rarity must have sensed an undertone of sadness from me, as she dutifully changed the topic. "I believe we should head over to Fluttershy's cottage. Hopefully her, ah, tea partner has left by now." "Tea partner?" I asked. I had only been half-listening to their conversation about it earlier. "Fluttershy sits down to tea every Tuesday morning with Discord. As much as Fluttershy trusts him, he is not one I would recommend you meet anytime soon. He is still quite the ruffian, if you ask me." Rarity shivered slightly. "And he has no fashion sense!" So this Discord was some sort of known miscreant? It was the first time I was hearing the name, but apparently it must be widely known since Rarity chose not to explain further. Having tea with some sort of criminal? That sounded rather out of character for Fluttershy, but then again, Michelle often tried to make friends with the worst of the drug addicts to get them to clean themselves up. It was frightening how many times she had succeeded. Maybe Fluttershy was trying to reform this pony. I wished Rarity would just come out and tell me she was thinking of fostering me. I supposed it was possible I had made the wrong assumption. She had never mentioned having either a husband or foals of her own. As nice as she seemed, she didn't strike me as a motherly type. However, many people had made that assumption about my mother as well and were often surprised when I showed up and said I was her daughter. I had my doubts anyone, human or pony, could take my mother's place. Rarity would be more like the big sister I never had. It would certainly make living as a pony for the rest of my life a lot more palatable. > Chapter 9 - Memories > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A large tree rose at the end of a secluded path, still thriving despite having been hollowed out to create Fluttershy's cottage. Her tea partner had indeed departed. Animals frolicked about, both outside the cottage and inside, scampering so close to my hooves that I worried I might step on one of the critters by accident. Rarity's praise of Fluttershy's abilities had not been exaggerated; I doubt I ever saw more content creatures in my life. Well, save for the one little white bunny who seemed to have a frown permanently etched into his fuzzy face. "Would you like to stay for some tea?" Fluttershy asked. "We'll have to pass this time, Fluttershy, but thank you," said Rarity. "Pinkie wanted us to stop off at Sugarcube Corner before we head over to the boutique. Oh, and that reminds me, our dear filly here has a name." "Oh? What is it?" "It's, um, Candy Swirl," I said. Fluttershy smiled. "That's a perfectly lovely name." "Pinkie deserves the credit, she helped me come up with it." "I'm glad she was able to help. And you look wonderful, Candy." So Fluttershy had not first assumed it was a name I had remembered? Was she just being kind, or did she have some sort of insight into me of which I was unaware? "I am actually rather happy we went with the single braid instead of two," said Rarity. "It is already giving me ideas for the perfect dress for her." "I'm sure whatever you come up with will be lovely," said Fluttershy. "Let's just hope I can do even half as good a job coming up with a banner to adorn Queen Chrysalis' room." Fluttershy shivered slightly, her smile faltering. "Which reminds me, there will be a formal dinner this evening at the castle. Will you be joining us?" Fluttershy's gaze slid to the side. "Um ... I-I don't know if I should." "Oh, but I am sure the princesses will be interested to hear how you have been doing." Fluttershy swallowed. "It's n-not them I'm worried about," she said in a barely audible voice. Rarity smiled and stepped up to her friend. "Queen Chrysalis is not due to arrive until late. I am sure you can leave before she arrives." "I'm planning on returning to my room before she shows up," I said. After a short pause, I added, "I would be happy to see you there, Fluttershy." Fluttershy turned her gaze towards me, a small smile returning to her muzzle. "All right." Like with my words to Rarity earlier, my internal censor had refused to cooperate. A reflex action, perhaps. I often had to coax Michelle to come out of her apartment now and then and be a little social. Had my mother lived, I would have likely invited Michelle to one of my mother's formal affairs. Maybe that had been a little selfish of me to put Fluttershy on the spot, but I could not deny her presence helped calm me. I only glanced at the sights on the rest of this impromptu tour of Ponyville, my interest captivated more by the company than the scenery as we headed towards Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie likely would have pouted at my apparent disinterest. Or worse, her hair would deflate. I was not at all surprised to see her on the employee side of the counter. Before I could say a word, she gasped as she beheld me. "Oo, you look so nice, Candy!" She giggled. "You really do look like those little candy treats now!" "Thank you," I said. Favorable comparisons to desserts and treats apparently served as standard compliments coming from her. "Is this your store?" "Oh, no, I just work here sometimes and foalsit occasionally." Pinkie Pie as a babysitter. That ... conjured up some interesting imagery. "Right now I'm just watching the store and the twins until Mr. and Mrs. Cake are back. They went to the castle to help prepare for the dinner tonight." My stomach fluttered a bit. How were ponies expected to conduct themselves in more formal circumstances? I resolved to stick close to Rarity and emulate her. She had made it clear she could handle herself in such a formal situation with ease. I remembered my first formal affair I attended with my mother. I parroted her almost exactly. I probably looked rather silly, but everyone had found it endearing. "Oo, that reminds me!" Pinkie said. She reached under the counter and pulled out a tray covered in cupcakes. "How do these look?" Four kinds of cupcakes adorned the tray. First were spongy white cupcakes I identified immediately as angel food by just the smell alone, covered in yellow and blue frosting forming stylized suns against a clear sky. The next set were chocolate cupcakes covered in dark blue and white frosting forming crescent moons. The third were blueberry cupcakes adorned with pink candy stars surrounded by smaller white stars against purple frosting. The last were caramel fudge with black and green icing shaped like pairs of insect-like eyes. Strangely, that last set had holes carved out of each cupcake in random locations. "Why, that is perfectly wonderful, Pinkie," said Rarity. "And it gives me an idea for the design of the banner for Queen Chrysalis' room." Fluttershy swallowed when she glanced at the last set of cupcakes. "M-maybe make the eyes a little less scary on the banner," she murmured. At Fluttershy's words, a cupcake from the fourth batch pulled in my gaze, its green frosting eyes staring back at me. I shivered, and my heart suddenly skipped a beat. "You find them a little scary, too?" I blinked and tore my gaze from the cupcake, my heart racing. "A little, I guess." I had no idea why. Did the design of the cupcakes have to do with what changelings really looked like? The idea of giant insect creatures creeped me out, but not enough to make me quake from just a silly stylistic representation on a confection. "Hmm," Pinkie said, looking thoughtful. "I was gonna have them enchanted so they sprouted little changeling wings and buzzed about the room, but maybe I shouldn't do that, huh?" "Please don't," said Fluttershy. "As lovely as they are, darling, I agree that would be overkill," Rarity said gently. The bell above the door tinkled as one of my guards stepped inside. He trotted up to us, his eyes set hard. "Excuse me, but I have just been informed that a changeling attempted to breach the Castle of Friendship." My heart fell into my stomach. "Oh, no!" Fluttershy cried. "Is everypony all right?" Rarity asked. "The attempt was thwarted thanks to Princess Twilight's detection spell," said the pegasus. "The changeling had adopted the form of Bon Bon." Pinkie Pie gasped. "Bon Bon was a changeling all this time?!" Good God. I had looked straight at her earlier. We all had. "Oh, surely that is not the case!" Rarity said. "Er ... is it?" "Deputies found the real Bon Bon and Lyra Heartstrings in their home in a magically-induced sleep," said the guard. "So it is likely the changeling adopted her form only this morning." "Well, that is a relief, certainly," said Rarity. "Did they catch the changeling this time?" I asked. "Unfortunately, no," said the guard. "But a patrol was sent to look for it. Miss Swirl, if you would prefer to return to the castle for your protection, we're willing to take you back there now. I was told to leave the decision in your hooves." I did not want to make that kind of decision! The coward in me wanted to gallop back to the castle as fast as my hooves could take me. "How did the changeling even get into town?" Fluttershy asked. "Likely it was already in town before the additional security arrived," said the guard. "Does Twilight believe there is an immediate threat to Candy?" said Rarity. "Or at least any more than there already was?" "The Princess does not believe so. The changeling headed away from town when it escaped. If it tried to infiltrate the town again, it would likely be spotted by the Wonderbolts or stopped at a checkpoint." "What of Lyra? She was with Bon Bon -- that is, the changeling -- when we saw her. Does that mean there is a second changeling about?" "We don't know yet. The hospital reported that it will be several more hours before either Bon Bon or Lyra awaken and can be questioned." Rarity turned to me. "It's ultimately up to you, but I do still wish for you to see the boutique." "Can I come along?" Fluttershy asked. "I kind of don't want to be alone right now." "Of course, you know you are always welcome." I was tired of being scared, and if somepony as timid as Fluttershy could do it, so could I. "I would really like to see it, too. I'll be okay." "Then we'll head over there without further delay," said Rarity. She turned to Pinkie. "I had hoped we could stay for a bit, but we ought to get going so we can get back to the castle before lunch." "Okey-dokey!" Pinkie called out. "See ya at dinner!" Rarity threw open the door and swept a foreleg before her, a wide smile on her face. "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique!" Trotting inside behind Rarity felt like another step into the past. Even after she had made it big, my mother sometimes spoke fondly of her first store, which she even visited on occasion. By the time I had seen it, it had already been converted to full automation. I never really got to see it when everything was still made by hand. Rarity's horn glowed as the sign in the window flipped from "CLOSED" to "OPEN." "Fluttershy, be a dear, please, and remain here in case any customers arrive. I wish to give Candy a little tour and perhaps catch up on some orders." "Of course," Fluttershy said with a smile. "For once, I am actually hoping not to get too many customers today," said Rarity as she led me further into the boutique. "Perhaps those two hulking armored pegasi outside will keep ponies at bay." The smell tickled my equine senses at once. Even in the automated stores back home, new fabric had a distinctive odor. The quick and repetitive movements of the automated looms tortured the fabric enough to loosen tiny threads which floated in the air and littered the floor. Here I could smell the fabrics while they remained peacefully on the bolts sitting upon the shelves against the back wall. It really did look like any dressmaker's shop back on earth. Below the fabric bolts, several shelves contained countless spools of thread, needles, measuring tape, sewing gauges, and a myriad of other supplies. A sewing machine sat upon a table among bits of cut fabric, ribbons, and runs of thread. All that differed from a dressmaker's shop on Earth was that the mannequins were pony-shaped. Ponnequins, I supposed. I glanced at several large chests which lay against one wall. They appeared strong and bulky enough to be intended to protect something valuable. Rare fabrics, perhaps? "You've been holding out on me, darling." I whipped my gaze towards Rarity to find her smiling knowingly at me. "I'm sorry?" "I know the look of a pony who has seen this before." Was I that easy to read as a pony? People never could read me that well as a human. "Oh, um, well ... I guess maybe I forgot to mention that my mother was, um, in the fashion business." Rarity's eyes positively lit up. "My stars, really? And in Manehattan?" "I was rather young," I said quickly. "So I don't remember too many details about it." "While that is too bad, I am rather pleased I can offer you something familiar." I decided not to tell her about how my mother's shops were largely automated, as I still did not have a handle on the tech level of this world. I smiled. "Yes, it does look familiar, and it ... brings back some memories." "Twilight told Fluttershy and I that your mother is no longer with us," Rarity said. "I am terribly sorry about that." My throat became tight. "Rarity, if you don't mind me asking, have you ever had any, um, foals?" "No, dear, I have yet to be fortunate enough to find a special somepony I could share my life with in that way. I do have a younger sister, though, with whom I am very close." In a way, that made me feel better. If she was going to foster me, I would rather not worry that her biological children would feel I had usurped attention from their mother. Rarity smiled. "Of course, there is a downside to you being familiar with all this. You're likely to get dreadfully bored while I work." "Oh, no, not at all," I said in all sincerity. "After all the excitement, I could do with something more mundane." Rarity's horn glowed, and a pair of spectacles alighted onto her muzzle. "In that case," she said as a dress sitting on one of the ponnequins floated over to her workbench. "Please have a seat while I put the finishing touches on this dress." The first time Rarity levitated a bolt of fabric off the shelf behind me, it gave me a bit of a start, as she had not even so much as looked up from her work. My eyes soon widened as half a dozen objects routinely floated about her at any one time. A smile stretched across my muzzle as her magic did everything from cutting fabric to threading a needle. Only after staring at this spectacle for some time did I finally notice her hooves feeding fabric through the sewing machine. I had heard it running for much of that time; had she been doing that all along while simultaneously conducting this magical symphony? Good God. My mother had told me about how she had worked her fingers to the bone in that very first shop she opened; she would have killed to have this ability. And I could do little more than throw a few sparks from my own horn or chuck things in random directions like a baby's first attempts with blocks. I wanted to change that. Maybe I'd never reach Rarity's level of sophistication or anywhere near Twilight's power, but surely I could do something useful. Fluttershy interrupted Rarity a few times when customers arrived despite the intimidating presence of the guards outside. One would always accompany the customer into the store and linger until they left. Two ponies had wanted simple alterations, which Rarity did right there at the counter and did not even charge them for it. The third wanted a completely new design, which left me alone with Fluttershy for a bit. "Are you getting along well with Rarity?" Fluttershy asked in a hopeful voice. "I am, actually," I said. "Oh, good! She'll be very glad to hear that." "I think she already knows." "That's even better." Fluttershy paused. "She really does want to get to know you better." "It's really that important to her?" "Yes, very much. Um, that is, she just wants to be your friend. N-nothing more than that." Oh, Fluttershy, you're not only as sweet as Michelle was, you're as much of a terrible liar. I was very tempted to tell her that I already knew Rarity wanted to foster me, but I decided against it. I didn't want to embarrass her. "By the way, I'm sorry if I put you on the spot earlier," I said. "What do you mean?" "When you were trying to decide whether to go to the dinner tonight. You really don't have to go if you don't want to." "No, that's okay," Fluttershy said. "I mean ... it would let me get to know you better, too." I understood the feeling of operating outside of one's comfort zone, as it had defined my first day in this strange world, and I sensed the same from her. So Fluttershy was not simply a duplicate of Michelle after all; Michelle was no social butterfly by any means, but she interacted with people far more than Fluttershy ever did. Not long after, the earth pony customer trotted out the back. Rarity followed, a tape measure draped across her barrel, a piece of tailor's chalk tucked behind one ear. "I should have it ready for you by Thursday. Sorry it cannot be sooner, but I have a bit of a backlog." "No worries, Rarity, thanks!" said the earth pony before the guard escorted her out. Rarity turned to me and smiled. "Your turn, Candy." "Er, my what?" I said. "A dress for this evening, of course." "Oh, but, you said you had a backlog ..." "But I am simply bursting with ideas, and I need to act on it. Now, please, come back with me." "It's okay," Fluttershy said. "You go along with Rarity. I'll just keep minding the store out here." "All right," I said, trotting after Rarity. Rarity used the tape measure on me first, jotting down figures with a quill and pad, everything held purely by unicorn magic. "Your tail is thick enough that I believe we will not go with a complete cover, it will make the dress too billowy," said Rarity as she slowly stepped around me. "But we'll need to bring it together under the tail and spread out in a 'vee' shape to keep freedom of movement in your hind legs." I resisted the urge to draw my tail in to better hide my girly bits. I know I had been naked all this time, but I never had another pony looking quite that closely at my hindquarters before. "Oh, but we simply must accessorize the tail in that case," Rarity continued. "Nothing ostentatious. Just a simple line of gems woven down the center. As for the front, we'll go with something a bit modest considering your age." Modest? It wasn't like I had anything there worth covering. "A rounded hemline under the neck. Hmm, that means the pendant will overlay the dress. I'll need to adjust the color balance appropriately. Perhaps a paneled dress, one base color for the front and one for the barrel and rear. Yes, yes, I think I have it. Let's try to put this together, shall we?" "You mean right now?" I asked. "Of course," Rarity said with a smile. "No time like the present." As she turned away, I noticed a roughed-in dress gracing one of the ponnequins where none had been earlier. Was that the prototype of the dress she had crafted for the earth pony? How did she do it that fast? I flinched a bit when the bolts of fabric suddenly flew through the air at me, eliciting a brief, gentle admonishment. "Please stand still, Candy, if you would." She wrapped several colors of fabric loosely around me, looking thoughtful as her eyes flicked over me. A minute later, all but two of the colors shot back to their shelves, the remainder dropping to her work table. One was a deep wine red, almost purple in shade, the other a lighter softer red. "Red is usually too bold of a color for a young filly," said Rarity as she cut swathes of the two colors from the bolts. "But it is the best hue to use with such hair color without it contrasting too sharply." The bolts shot back to their shelves as she picked up the swathes she had cut. While her prowess still awed me, it had not silenced me. Instead, a memory I wanted to ignore had quelled my enthusiasm. Had I spoken, my voice would crack, and Rarity might interpret it wrong. Rarity fit the lighter shade to my front and the other to the rest. She carefully shaped the pieces with the scissors, her magic doing the work of several pairs of hands. I tensed for a moment when multiple pins flew through the air, but I felt not a single pin-prick as they fastened the pieces together. "Lift your tail for a moment, if you would, please." I did as she asked, and she shaped and fit the cloth as she had suggested earlier. "Yes, this is working out quite well!" Rarity said in a bright voice. "Lift your left fore-leg, hold it for a few seconds, then do the same with the other." I complied. The cloth suddenly felt tight around the shoulders as I lifted one leg, but a few magical tugs later, and it lay more comfortably. The other leg encountered much less difficulty, but she made a few more adjustments anyway. More pins flew. "Now for the trim," she said as she let go of the pendant. Ribbons darted towards me. "Hmm, too bright ... no, too shiny ... ugh, not shiny enough! ... Ah, here we go!" She finally settled on one that was a sort of silvery blue that gleamed slightly. Rarity stepped back to examine it for a moment before nodding once, more pins arriving. "Hmm, I cannot quite decide on the gems to use for your tail, but we can take care of that later," said Rarity. "But I do know exactly what I want to do for the front!" Her horn glowed, and one of the chests behind her suddenly flipped open. Sapphires glittered in dark blue splendor, enough to be worth a fortune back on Earth if they indeed filled the entire chest. Yet I gave them a cursory look at best as the past struggled with the present. She levitated about a dozen of the gems from the chest and fit them along the collar of the dress. Rarity stepped to one side, letting the light hit them fully. They sparkled beautifully. My heart lurched. "Wonderful!" Rarity said. "They bring out your eyes perfectly, and the spot of bright gold from the pendant accents the darker colors so nicely. Now, it does look a bit plain right now, but I will be adding additional patterns and accessories. Yet I believe the colors and basic design really speak to me." She stepped aside, her horn glowing. A full-length mirror slid across the floor and stopped before me. "Tell me what you think." I stared ... struggled ... and the past won. ~~~ I stood in front of the mirror, staring with wide eyes. My trembling hand reached up to the collar of the dress, where the rhinestones glittered. The dress fit snugly but comfortably, balancing just the right amount of accentuation that my burgeoning femininity desired with the modesty my twelve year old body demanded. "What do you think?" I smiled. "It's beautiful, Mom. It's beautiful!" "Do you really like it?" "Oh, God, yes! Is this from your new line?" "No, dear. This is yours." I blinked. I turned and looked up. "Wh-what?" My mother smiled. "I made this for you, and just for you." She squeezed my shoulder. "Happy birthday, Rachel." I lifted my arms. She reached down and hugged me. "Thank you, Mom. You're the best." ~~~ "Ah ... Candy?" I trembled. My eyes misted. "Are you all right?" Rarity asked. "If ... if there's something wrong with the dress, I can--" "No, it's b-beautiful," I croaked. "Are you quite sure?" I swallowed hard. "R-Rarity ... could you give me a moment alone?" Something trickled down my cheek and around the side of my muzzle. "P-please?" "Yes, of course, dear," said Rarity quickly as she turned away. "I'll, um, keep Fluttershy company for a bit." She had barely fled the room when my eyes blurred with tears. Goddammit. Three years. Three fucking years since I had ever shed a tear over my mother. Why the hell now? Why in a stupid pony body in a stupid pony world when it didn't even matter anymore?! I sniffled, wiping my eyes with my foreleg. I took a deep breath to compose myself. I had no right to go into total breakdown. That memory belonged to someone who no longer existed. Rachel Darrow was no more. I was Candy Swirl, a pony whose past was irrelevant. All that mattered was the present. When I had managed to halt the silly waterworks, I called out to Rarity. Both her and Fluttershy stepped into the room. "Are you all right, Candy?" Rarity asked in a soft voice. "Is there something we can do?" Fluttershy asked. I looked at Fluttershy. I had to stop with this nonsense that she reminded me of Michelle. She was just a pony concerned for my welfare. I managed a small smile. "Thank you, both, but I'm all right now." I looked at Rarity. "The dress is beau ... g-gorgeous. I'm sure it will look spectacular once you have it done." Rarity slowly smiled. "So long as you are truly pleased with it, dear." "I am. I'm sorry for before. I just ... um ... the stress of everything just kind of got to me for a moment. This is the first day since I was found on the farm where I've actually had some fun." Rarity's smile widened. She magicked the entire dress from my body and placed it gently on one of the ponnequins. "I am very pleased to hear you say that, and I will be sure to make this dress live up to your expectations." "It does look very lovely," Fluttershy said. "Um, Candy? Are you sure there isn't anything else you need to talk about?" My heart lurched again, but I ignored it. No more emotionalism, I had had enough of it. "I'm fine, Fluttershy, but thank you for asking." She smiled faintly at me, and I tried to ignore the bit of doubt I saw in her gaze. > Chapter 10 - On Edge > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I'll accompany you to the castle, Candy," Rarity said as we stepped out of her boutique. "I wish to consult briefly with Twilight about my proposed design for Queen Chrysalis' banner, then I will head right back here to work on it and the dress." "Will you be able to get it all done in time?" Fluttershy asked, echoing the question in my own mind. Rarity smiled. "This is nothing compared to other deadlines I've been under. I'll have to check with Pinkie, but I doubt dinner will be served before four considering the princesses arrive at three. I will have plenty of time. Oh, Candy, if you could stop by my boutique around two, I can do a final fitting." "So long as somepony can escort me," I said. "I don't quite know my way around Ponyville yet." "I'd be happy to," said Fluttershy. I swept my gaze about the town on the return to the castle in an attempt to better acquaint myself with its layout, but the streets sometimes ran in directions counter to easy recall. Ponyville appeared to have grown organically, streets running hither and yon, only occasionally settling into patterns more closely resembling the more familiar grid layout of the cities of home. The pegasus guards at the entrance of the castle had been exchanged for unicorns, though no less armored nor any less intimidating. The reason became clear when one cast Twilight's detection spell on each of us in turn before allowing us entry. "Finally," Rarity said. "Twilight is learning the art of delegation. Why she does not have a large staff at this castle I will never understand." "She doesn't want to put on airs," said Fluttershy. "Yes, well, there's image, and then there's convenience. She needs to learn to balance the two." She turned to one of the guards. "Speaking of whom, where might I find Twilight?" "Princess Twilight is in the library, ma'am, last I saw," said the guard. "Though I am not sure she wants to be disturbed." "She will certainly make an exception for me. I need to speak with her for only a moment, and then I will leave her to her fretting over the summit. Come along, all." "When we're done, I'll want to head to my room," I said as we trotted down the corridor. "Of course, dear, not a problem." "I can take you there now if you ..." Fluttershy trailed off as voices drifted down the corridor towards us from ahead. "--have no direct proof that he was the cause of her appearance!" came Twilight's voice. "Goodness," Fluttershy murmured. "She sounds upset." Then a male voice I had never heard before countered, "Just the same, Twiley, do you really think you should have her inside your own castle?!" Rarity's eyes widened. "Is that--?" "What are you talking about?" said Twilight. "And all this time I was worried that she was a planted spy for the changelings!" said the male voice, my stomach twisting. "What?!" "And now I learn she could be just another setup for betrayal -- again! -- by Discord!" Fluttershy gasped. "--Shining Armor??" Rarity said, her eyes wide. "What in the name of Equestria are you talking about?!" Twilight bellowed. "Um, maybe we should--" Fluttershy began. My hooves carried me forward as if of their own accord. "Candy, wait!" Rarity hissed. I didn't listen. Rationality had fought against my emotional turmoil and lost. "Oh, come on, Twiley!" cried the male voice. "Do you really believe he's sorry for how he betrayed all of us to Tirek?" "That's not the point!" cried Twilight. "She's just a filly!" "So she claims." I skidded to a stop before the open doors of the library and stared. Twilight stood in an almost combative stance, her eyes narrowed. She glared at a large white unicorn stallion with a three-tone blue mane and tail. His cutie mark was a blue shield with a six-pointed star that, curiously, shared almost the same shade of pinkish-red as Twilight's mark. Twilight stomped her hoof. "I do not have to listen to this! Princess Celestia has stated specifically that she trusts me implicitly in this matter! I do not need you stomping in here making these ridiculous claims about somepony who is not even an adult and try to claim--!" "Ahem." The noise from Rarity startled myself as much as it did both verbal combatants in the library. She and Fluttershy had caught up with me and stood on either side. Twilight's eyes widened slightly as she turned her head towards us. "I'm sorry," she said in a lower voice. "I didn't know you had returned." "Apparently," said Rarity in an icy voice. The unicorn stallion narrowed his gaze at me. My ears drew back as I met his eyes, and I tried not to lower my head. One of my rear hooves twitched. Twilight took a deep breath. "Candy, you look very nice. Your morning with Rarity apparently went rather well. This is my brother, Shining Armor. Shining, this is Candy Swirl." "Candy," Shining Armor said in a cool voice, nodding his head once, his hard eyes never leaving me. Rarity trotted forward, mercifully interrupting his gaze. "Fluttershy, would you be so kind as to take Candy to her room?" she said in a voice of deadly calm. Fluttershy gulped. "Er, um, y-yes, of course." She gestured to me urgently with her hoof. I wanted to stay. I wanted to know if this was indeed about me, and what new suspicions were being heaped upon me. Yet it finally clicked in my head what was going on with Rarity. Rarity was pissed. I followed Fluttershy, glancing behind me in time to see the doors to the library glow with Rarity's magic and swiftly close. My heart thumped. I wanted to think that I deserved the defense I assumed Rarity was about to mount on my behalf, but I didn't want anypony to get into trouble because of me. "I sometimes still feel like a bit of a burden." I knew Fluttershy would react the way she did, and yet I had said it anyway; she stopped and gave me a hug, even taking care not to muss my coiffed mane. I had plied her for sympathy, or perhaps manipulated was the better word. "You're not a burden, Candy," Fluttershy said. "Please, don't think that. Things are just ... confused right now. This summit is making everypony a little crazy, I think." "I just hope Rarity and Twilight can set Shining Armor straight about me." Fluttershy smiled as we continued on. "Shining Armor is a wonderful pony, Candy. He's Twilight's BBBFF for a reason." "Huh?" "Big Brother Best Friends Forever. I think he's just concerned for Twilight and wants to help. After all, she's helped him on several -- oh!" Fluttershy had spotted them the same time I had. Two armored earth ponies patrolled the hallway ahead, yet they looked like none I had ever seen. They appeared wrapped in shiny glass instead of fur. Sparkles flitted about their coats as they trotted past, as if they were indeed living crystal. Even the reflections of light in their eyes were faceted. "He must have brought some guards with him from the Crystal Empire," said Fluttershy. So this was yet another form of pony? Earth, unicorn, pegasus, alicorn ... crystal? "Though I don't think Shining Armor brought Princess Cadance with him," said Fluttershy. "That's too bad, I would like to see her again. I think you would like her." So there was a fourth princess. Which made Shining Armor a Prince. Prince Shining Armor. That was not quite the same as the Earth phrase "a knight in shining armor," but, seriously, do pony parents somehow look into the future when naming their foals? At least this distraction helped calm me down enough that I could process more of what I had overheard. "Fluttershy? Shining Armor had mentioned the name Discord." Fluttershy averted her eyes. "Um, what about it?" "Is that the same Discord that you have tea with every Tuesday?" "Oh, um, yes, he is, but, please, he really is trying to do better. He assured me he had nothing to do with your memory loss." That ... was unexpected. Why would they think somepony here had anything to do with that? I hoped they weren't blaming that miscreant pony for things he never did, let alone for something I had completely invented. "If it helps any, I don't think I've ever met him." Fluttershy smiled. "Oh, that's good to know! Would you mind if I told the others?" "If it means they'll stop worrying about somepony who's likely innocent of doing anything wrong to me, then, sure, go ahead." "Thank you. This will put a lot of ponies' minds at ease." Perhaps I had managed to set one thing right. Shining Armor had spoken of this Discord as if he had done something truly terrible. Likely this pony had enough things to answer for without being falsely accused of wronging me. Life at the castle seemed to become both more hectic and more regimented at the same time. Apparently Shining Armor had been put in charge of the guards. The only real effect this had on me was replacing one of my pegasus guards with a unicorn guard. Many guard contingents were similarly rearranged. It made a certain amount of sense to me, balancing strength with magic. I had hoped to stay in my room until I needed to head over to the Carousel Boutique. As a human, I had become accustomed to skipping lunch. Equine biology apparently said otherwise, and I wandered over to the kitchen around one in the afternoon, my complement of guards in tow. As I arrived, Spike emerged holding a tray with a sandwich atop it. "Oh, hey, Candy," he called out. "Here for some lunch?" "That would be nice," I said. "Sure thing! Let me take this to Twilight, and I'll be right back to fix you something." "Oh, you don't have to trouble yourself, I--" "Nah, no trouble at all! Just sit yourself in the dining hall." While I awaited Spike's return, I mulled over my earlier conversation with Rarity. My mind returned to the same term: Element-bearer. She had implied she had worn it, perhaps like jewelry. Was it magical, or just representative of some honor or title? If I could have some time alone, I could visit the library and finally look up some of this stuff. Having a better handle on this world would obviate the need to reveal my origins. I could claim my memory never came back and settle into a new life. Hadn't a new life been the original goal? Spike put together a veggie-platter, mostly similar to what I had seen in the hospital, but with one addition: flowers. Had I not spotted the white petal sticking out of the sandwich Spike had delivered to Twilight, I would have assumed them to be garnish. "Here you go!" Spike said as he slid the tray in front of me. "Thank you," I said. He hopped into a seat opposite me. "Mind if I keep you company? I already ate, but I could use a break. I swear, Twilight's running me almost as ragged as she's running herself!" "Are you really Twilight's sole staff?" Spike smiled. "Yep, I pretty much do it all." "Including the food preparation, apparently." He glanced off to the side and leaned across the table, lowering his voice. "Trust me, you don't want to taste Twilight's cooking." I smiled. I needed some humor. He also didn't bat an eye at my table manners. "Have you been with Twilight for long?" I knew I was risking treading on information that might be common knowledge, but Spike seemed friendly enough. His smile widened. "All my life, in fact." "Really?" "She hatched me when she was a filly." So I had been right; Spike was more or less a child. But, wow, actually hatched by Twilight? Did that make Twilight Spike's surrogate mother? If so, then they were a lot closer than I had thought. "In fact, that was when she got her cutie mark!" Spike said, sounding as proud as if he had somehow called it down upon her flank himself. I usually did not tolerate young children very well, but Spike seemed a lot more mature than his years suggested. "And when she became Princess Celestia's student." I paused. Her student? Spike waved a claw. "Eh, but you probably know all about that sorta stuff. You sound like you're pretty smart." "Oh, um, but you were right there. You got to see a lot of it yourself." Spike chuckled. "Heh, true, like the time Twilight accidentally set Princess Celestia's throne on fire." I nearly choked on my broccoli. "She did what??" "Oops!" Spike cried, his eyes wide. "Ah ... er ... d-did I say 'on fire'? No, no, I meant, um ... all fine. Yeah, that's what I meant! She made it all fine and dandy. No fire at all!" I giggled madly. I couldn't help it, it was stress relief. Poor Spike blushed so hard. "Look, please, don't tell her I mentioned that. She still gets embarrassed about it." I kept giggling. He twiddled his talons. "Um ... I'll give you extra daffodils if you keep this quiet." I looked down at my tray. I had wondered if that's what they were. I had yet to try them, despite how tasty they smelled. I dipped my muzzle and took one in my mouth. Oh, good Lord. I was eating a damn flower, and it was delicious. "Deal!" Spike jumped off his chair. "One shameless bribe, coming right up!" I placed a hoof to my muzzle to hide my laugh. Thank you, Spike, I really needed that. After a pleasant lunch (good God, those daffodils were wonderful), some time remained before Fluttershy would be by to pick me up. I didn't see the point in going all the way back to my room, so I decided to head to the main entrance to await her arrival. Spike offered to lead me there. At the wide hallway before the meeting room, a familiar bouncing noise drew near. "Oh, Spikey!" cried Pinkie Pie. "You're just the dragon I want to see! Well, actually, you're the only dragon in about a hundred mile radius, but I still need to see you, and, well, you are a dragon, so--" "What did you need, Pinkie?" Spike asked, mercifully cutting her off. "I need some help with the final preparations for dinner," said Pinkie. "Do you have a minute? Twilight's all busy with boring summit-stuff." "Sure, I've got some time." Spike turned to me. "Think you can find the entrance from here, Candy?" "Yeah, I got it," I said. I smiled. "Thanks, Spike." Spike smiled and winked before heading off with Pinkie. The main entrance lay just ahead, the wide hallway empty save for a guard stationed on either side, as well as the two who constantly shadowed me. I glanced towards the high doors that led to the meeting room, my gaze lingering. I glanced back at my guards. They gazed stoically forward, as if taking no interest in me other than my existence and my safety. Would they stop me from trying to enter the room? No guards were stationed outside the doors. I turned and started towards the doors. The guards followed without a word of protest. Were the doors locked against my unauthorized ... no, they opened easily at the touch of my hoof. I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I steeled myself as I heard the hooves of the guards, but they had simply arranged themselves to guard the door to the chamber, flanking it on either side. I was left alone inside. I stepped forward and immediately froze. The "high-backed chairs" I had seen in my brief glimpse the night before were nothing less than thrones. Six in all, equally spaced around -- wait, there was a seventh, though much smaller, breaking the symmetry. The six large thrones lay around a circular table of crystal. A three-dimensional image shimmered above its surface. It looked like a map. I saw mountains, valleys, lakes, rivers, oceans, plains, deserts, and tundra. Yet nothing was labeled. I had no point of reference. What stood out more than the topological features, however, were two sets of sparkling symbols floating just above the map, slowly spinning around one another. One was three white diamonds, the other three pink butterflies. Rarity and Fluttershy's cutie marks? When I looked more closely at that area of the map, I spotted a mountain spire with a castle in its side which I was almost sure was Canterlot. The symbols hovered over a town very close by, and when I squinted, I could just make out the Castle of Friendship. The symbols were located directly above it. I raised my head and looked more closely at the thrones. Each of the six large ones had a symbol etched high into the back. Each matched a cutie mark of the six ponies I had come to know. What the hell was this? This looked far more important than a mere town council. Was this a map of all of Equestria? Why were Rarity and Fluttershy's cutie marks on the map? I sighed and lightly stomped a fore-hoof. All I could do was guess. This chamber had handed me more pieces of a jigsaw puzzle where I had no idea how many pieces existed, or even what the final picture was supposed to look like. More than ever I wanted to visit the castle library. I heard hooves clopping faintly in the distance. "Candy?" came Fluttershy's voice. Damn, I had hoped to leave the chamber before she had arrived. I poked my head into the hallway. Fluttershy had just stepped beyond the main castle entrance, and she turned her head to the side. I bolted out of the chamber and skidded to a stop just ahead the guards, who immediately took a step to flank me on either side. Fluttershy turned her head at the noise and smiled. "There you are, Candy. Are you ready to go?" "Yes, I was just waiting right here." Well, technically, I had not quite lied. I simply had an expansive definition of the word "here." I smiled and trotted over to her. Fluttershy glanced past me towards the open doors to the council chamber. "Um ..." "Let's go, I'm anxious to see how the dress looks." She turned her gaze back to me. "Oh, of course." I fell into step beside her, guards in tow. I burned with the desire to ask Fluttershy what that map was all about, but I let it keep for the moment. Did it really matter? I enjoyed my time with both her and Rarity. I needed to stop finding ways to spoil it. "You will be very happy to know, Candy, that I have smoothed things over with Shining Armor," said Rarity as we stood in the back room of her boutique. I did not respond immediately. The dress had so enthralled me that I still stared at it even as I modeled it for her. She had done an incredible job in the space of a few hours. I finally turned my head towards her. "I'm really glad to hear that. Did he really think I was associated with Discord, or that I was a changeling spy?" "Realize that he spent much of his professional life in the service of Princess Celestia's Royal Guard," said Rarity, spectacles perched on her muzzle as she carefully measured a strip of ribbon. "He was trained to be suspicious, and it can be said he has a, ah, personal grievance with Queen Chrysalis." So he really had been a knight in shining armor. God, these pony names. "I just didn't want anypony to be upset over me." "Nonsense." Rarity finished the cut at her workbench and trotted over to me. She magicked the ribbon onto the dress to complete part of the trim. "Now, hold still if you would, please. I chose to hoof-stitch this part as the material in the trim is a bit delicate." Well, she really meant horn-stitch, as her magic did the work of carefully weaving the needle through the dress, but still, I watched in wonder as she worked. "And realize that Twilight was defending you as well," said Rarity. "I impressed upon him that you are more a victim of these circumstances than a cause." Yet the more I thought about it, the more I balked at the timing of my arrival in this world. I had appeared with this strange pendant right about when they planned this summit. I would have been suspicious had our roles been reversed. Despite the warnings to the contrary, I felt a need to meet Discord, if for no other reason than to satisfy in my own mind that I truly had no business with this miscreant. As she worked on my dress, I glanced at her workbench. A large swath of black fabric lay carefully folded, to which Rarity had added some bright green trim. "Is that the banner for Queen Chrysalis?" "Yes, and I am more pleased with it than I had thought I would be," said Rarity. "It is only a rough prototype. I decided to go with something simple and--" She glanced towards the clock. "Oh, dear!" "Something the matter?" "In all this excitement, I almost forgot I will need to pick up Sweetie Belle from school." "Sweetie Belle?" "My little sister," said Rarity, "Ever since the incident with the changeling at the hospital, the mayor imposed the requirement that the school foals be picked up by a parent or other relative. We also have to ask each other a question only the other can answer to ensure neither of us are changelings." So Rarity's sister was a lot younger than I had thought. "Are her parents around?" "Yes, but their careers dictate much travel, and they prefer Sweetie Belle's foalhood be a little more stable. Thus I have become her day-to-day guardian. If it were not for this security measure, she would be quite capable of being about Ponyville herself." Which, of course, implied this little filly lived with Rarity. So much for not worrying about a sibling feeling in competition for affection. I just hoped I would not be pressed into service helping to care for this foal. With any luck, Sweetie Belle had her own circle of friends her own age and would just ignore me. My lack of cutie mark would likely mean I would be of little interest to her or her friends anyway. "There we go!" Rarity said, trimming the thread with a pair of scissors before sending thread and needle back to her workbench. "Does it fit well? Try moving around a bit." It did, surprisingly well, in fact. "It's just great, Rarity, thank you." She smiled and levitated the dress from me and onto a ponnequin. "I still need to accessorize it with the gems, but I don't need you modeling it for that. I was considering adding a floral pattern, something in a muted rose red that would blend with the base colors. It would look more like a texture, just a subtle enhancement that plays well in the light." I smiled. "I'm sure it'll be just fine." "Fluttershy can take you back to the castle, unless you wanted to go down to the schoolhouse with me while I pick up Sweetie Belle." I did not feel ready to meet little kids yet. "I'll head over to the castle, if that's okay." "Of course. Now, I hope to get there by three, but I may be a little late. I imagine the dinner will be the first time that the princesses will be free to meet with guests anyway, so that gives us some time to fit the dress to you, weave the gems into your tail, and touch up your coiffure if needed." Some of the butterflies returned to my stomach. The prospect of meeting all that royalty daunted me a bit, especially Princess Luna. Perhaps that sounded a bit strange that meeting the supposed divine mover of the sun scared me less, but Princess Celestia apparently did not have the ability to see into my dreams. Even my own thoughts could not remain completely sacrosanct in this world. Rarity smiled gently. "No need to be nervous about the dinner. While meeting Princess Celestia and Princess Luna is a great honor not many ponies experience, they are very pleasant conversationalists. Just be yourself, and everything will be fine." The term "be yourself" still struggled to define itself, and I doubted it would settle in time before dinner. But no pressure! > Chapter 11 - Summoned By Royalty > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I stood alone in my room, staring at the mirror and failing to recognize myself. No one thing defied my ability to identify the face that peered curiously from the glass. Not the pony body, nor the expertly coiffed mane. Not the gorgeous dress, nor the glittering rubies woven so perfectly into my tail. Not even the bright gold pendant which hung from my neck in defiance of those who would take it from me. Rarity had helped me into my dress, added the rubies, and left me alone to contemplate her creation while she and Fluttershy changed into their outfits. I was sure she thought I needed time alone in case I had another emotional episode, but my stomach had twisted itself into too many knots for me to properly commiserate with the past. An occasional faint clacking noise alerted me that I could not stop flicking my tail. I took a deep breath, but it did little to calm my pounding heart, and the clacking continued. I finally realized that the situation and not my appearance had frustrated my sense of identity. What was I doing here? Why did I agree to attend this dinner? I should have asserted myself more and remained in my room for the duration. I had no business meeting royalty. No, Princess Luna had not filled me with some sort of mortal dread. I only thought I wanted to gallop off and hide somewhere when I contemplated meeting her, like I faced some sort of grand test of my facade. Yet the idea that I could pull this off floated before me like the carrot on the stick -- perhaps not the most ideal analogy for a pony, but still. I had only just broached the idea earlier of never revealing my past, of settling down with this new identity, and casting off the past. If I could get through this, I had every chance of succeeding. As if my mind insisted on a counterpoint, Rarity's words echoed in my head: I doubt your past would ever change how we feel about you. By human standards -- my failures to Michelle and my mother notwithstanding -- I had done nothing truly bad. Even while living on the streets, I never hurt anyone. I stole something small here and there, but only to survive. Yet it could all pale in comparison to being an alien. I heard a knock at the door. "May we come in?" said Rarity. I turned away from the mirror. "Of course." Rarity and Fluttershy entered, wearing rather elegant outfits; I no longer felt quite so overdressed. "Do you like how your dress came out, Candy?" Rarity asked. "Yes, I do, thank you. It's beautiful." I managed not to choke up even as the memory of my twelfth birthday flickered in my head. I squelched it a little more easily this time. Rarity trotted up to me. "In that case, I believe we are ready to go. Do you remember everything I told you earlier, or do you need a reminder?" Rarity had mercifully assumed I had never stood before Equestrian royalty (well, other than Twilight), and had taught me the proper way to bow (which I previously had no idea how to do as a pony), the proper form of address ("Princess" was sufficient from their subjects), and how to carry myself ("with grace in all things," which I highly suspected was more Rarity's attitude than a requirement). "Is there anything specific I will be expected to say or do?" I asked. In a roundabout way, I wanted to know if any subjects of conversation were considered taboo, or if I were expected simply to defer to them in everything they said or did. "Well, praise for their enlightened rule never goes out of style, of course, but they tend to be a little less stiff and formal than the Canterlot nobility," said Rarity. "They really are friendly and nice," said Fluttershy with a small smile. "I, um, don't even feel nervous around Princess Luna anymore." Fluttershy's first sentence had filled me with hope while the second had sent me crashing back into the depths of worry. "And well you shouldn't," said Rarity. "It has been quite a long time since her Nightmare Moon days." Nightmare Moon? Girls, please, stop helping me. "She has come a long way since then," Rarity continued. "But then again, so have we. Funny this should come up, as I had spoken with Candy earlier about our Element-bearer days." Our days? Was Fluttershy one of these Element-bearers as well? "I-I have to admit, I kind of wish we had them now," Fluttershy said in a quavering voice. "We have nothing to worry about," declared Rarity. "Not inside the Castle of Friendship." "I know. It's just ... I still remember what happened at the wedding." Fluttershy paused and added in a lower voice, "So does Twilight." "Is that what you two talked about yesterday?" "Yes, pretty much. She was rather upset after her argument with Rainbow Dash." "Can you share anything of what was said?" Fluttershy hesitated. "Um, not right now. We need to get to the dinner." "Very well." Rarity turned to me. "If you're ready, then, Candy." "I'm ready," I lied. "Then let us be off. It has been far too long since I had attended a nice, formal dinner." More puzzle pieces that defied placement. I had to defer my concern. I had only so many things I could worry about at once. I stepped into the banquet hall, and my heart leaped into my throat. Princess Luna riveted my attention immediately. Even from the other end of the hall, she possessed a commanding presence. That she had looked no less real in my dreams finally impressed upon me how vivid they had been. They truly felt like pockets of altered reality rather than just thoughts and imagery. When my gaze finally shifted towards the pony facing Luna, I knew her identity at once. Princess Celestia stood a little taller than Luna, with a coat so white it seemed to glow. A golden, stylized sun graced her flank. Her horn was very long, longer than Luna's. Her mane and tail flowed as if blowing in a gentle breeze, striped in pastel colors nearly as liquid as her darker counterpart. Her wings were folded against her sides, but even quiescent they looked larger than any other winged pony I had seen. As if she really needed anything to further identify her as an absolute monarch, a tiara lay upon her head. The two appeared to be speaking softly to one another. My heart skipped a beat when Luna turned her head, and her eyes met mine. Her gaze lingered on me for a moment before turning away. So no sense of my soul being sucked out through my eyes when she looked at me. Not that I believed that would happen at all, just good to know. My gaze finally swept down the length of the hall. Against the right side, a line of tables stood covered in more food than I had ever seen in any one sitting. Everything from vegetables and greens, to flowers and oats, to breads and desserts. Smaller, round tables and chairs had been set up on the opposite side. "Hrm," Rarity said, raising a critical eyebrow. "Buffet-style. Not my first choice for a formal dinner to open a summit, but I defer to Pinkie's catering sensibilities." "Oh, I don't know," said Fluttershy. "I think it makes it a little less formal." I was with Fluttershy in that regard. I felt just a little bit less self-conscious. The other members of the Council of Six -- as I started calling them -- were here, all dressed in finery. Even Applejack, though the effect was spoiled a bit by the stetson. Rainbow Dash actually stood on her hooves with her wings folded sedately against her sides. Perhaps her dress was not aerodynamic enough for her. "--get the ideer from you to have the little 'uns escorted to and from school?" came Applejack's voice as we approached. "No, that was Mayor Mare's idea entirely," said Twilight. "Well, it was a good one, in any case." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "I think it's ridiculous if you ask me." "Good thing I wasn't," Applejack said with a slight smirk. Rainbow blew her a raspberry. "Look, if anypony can handle themselves, it's the Crusaders!" Crusaders? "Like they do with every consarned hare-brained scheme of theirs?" "I'm just saying it's wrong to keep them separated!" "They ain't separated, they got school together." Rainbow face-hoofed. "Oh, yeah, sure, that's a lot of fun. Maybe there's a cutie mark for good attendance." Pinkie Pie interrupted the debate with a sudden high-pitched gasp, her eyes wide as she leaped into the air ... and hung there for several seconds, like she had just graduated from the Wile E. Coyote school of physics. "Candy!!" she cried at the top of her lungs when she finally landed. "You look positively, prodigiously, powerfully, partytastically pretty!" She giggled and waved a hoof. "But then you knew that, didn't you?" Good Lord. I did not need that. Now the gaze from everypony in the room weighed on me, even from the two princesses. From the amused looks on their faces, however, they appeared used to Pinkie's antics. "You really do look purty, Candy," said Applejack with a smile. "Like the shine on an apple jus' ready to be bucked." I ... think that was a compliment. "You really do look lovely, Candy," said Twilight. "The dress is wonderful." "Thank you, everypony," I said, smiling slightly. "But thank Rarity for the dress." "I am rather proud of it," said Rarity. "I went with something simple but elegant in the limited time I had. I just may adapt it for a new line this season." Rainbow trotted up. "Hey, Rares, now that you're here, maybe you can settle something." Rarity rolled her eyes. "Would this happen to be about the Crusaders?" "Do you have to keep Sweetie Belle cooped up in the boutique after school?" "For her safety, yes. At least until this summit is over." "Come on! Can't you at least let her out so they can have their meetings? I mean, they're just gonna be at their clubhouse! It's right there on AJ's farm. I already convinced Scoot's parents to let me escort her over there." "Ya did what?" Applejack cried. "Fer cryin' out loud, Rainbow! Can't ya leave well enough alone?" "All right, enough," Rarity declared. "We should not be arguing about this at a formal dinner. Why is this so important to you, Rainbow?" "Because they're gonna want to here about their fellow crusader in Manehattan." "What is this?" Applejack smiled. "Apple Bloom got a letter from her cousin Babs Seed. It got here too late fer me to give it to her before I had to get ready for this here shindig. But I already know what's in it 'cuz her parents sent me a letter at the same time. Babs Seed got her cutie mark." "Really?" Rarity said. "That is wonderful news, Applejack." "Yes, that really is good news," said Fluttershy. "Aw, too bad it happened over in Manehattan," said Pinkie. "I would love to organize her cuteceañera to celebrate!" "But you see the problem?" Rainbow said. "Babs was running the Manehattan Cutie Mark Crusaders. They gotta know about that." Rarity sighed. "Very well. I will see if I can get some time in the next few days to escort Sweetie Belle to the farm. Applejack, can you keep that letter to yourself for the time being?" "Sure can," said Applejack. "Honestly, I was just telling Sweetie Belle earlier that they worry far too much about acquiring their cutie marks." That at least explained why the Council of Six were not concerned about my lack of cutie mark. That made me feel a little better. The feeling was short lived. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I stiffened a bit when I saw Shining Armor headed towards us. Rarity caught sight of him as well and turned. "Ah, just the stallion I wanted to see." Shining Armor had looked about to speak to me, but he turned towards Rarity instead. "You do?" "Yes. I believe you have something to say to Candy here." "Well, yes, but how did you ... oh, you mean ...?" Rarity looked at him expectantly. Shining Armor took a deep breath and turned towards me. "Miss Swirl, I wish to apologize for my behavior towards you earlier today. It was uncalled for and rude." I hesitated until Rarity nudged me in the side. "Oh, um, yes, thank you. I, uh, accept your apology." "Much better," said Rarity with a smile. Twilight also smiled and cast an affectionate look at her brother. "Now for what I had really come over here to say to Miss Swirl," said Shining Armor. My heart sank. "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna would like a chance to speak with you at your earliest convenience." Fluttershy had offered to accompany me, but I didn't want to keep leaning on her all the time. If the princesses did have some sort of bone to pick with me, I did not want to involve the others. Nopony seemed at all perturbed at this summoning, yet visions of dark and dank dungeons plagued my thoughts as I approached. I had yet to announce myself, but both princesses turned towards me as I approached. Luna stood far taller than I had remembered her from my dreams, until I realized ponies likely stood shorter than humans. Celestia practically loomed over me, at least with regard to her physical presence. A smile graced her muzzle that I hoped was as warm as it seemed. Did she really move the sun? If size mattered with regards to horns, I guess I could see how that was possible. Luna was not exactly smiling, nor did she appear hostile or accusing in her gaze. She seemed more curious than anything else. I felt stupid that I had never made the connection between her name and the night. Or I simply had not wanted to see it. What was considered a respectable distance? I had not thought to ask Rarity. I stopped when their heads dipped slightly to keep their gaze on me, and I dropped into an awkward bow, lowering my head. God, what was I doing here? Was I being judged? Was I trembling? Would that be misinterpreted? "You may rise." I flinched at Princess Celestia's voice. How long had I been bowed? I stood and looked up. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Candy Swirl," said Princess Celestia. "As it is for me as well," said Princess Luna. Even Luna's voice was exactly the same as in my dreams. "Um ... the p-pleasure is all mine, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna." "Twilight Sparkle has kept me informed of the events concerning your pendant," said Celestia. "I do hope they have not left a bad impression on you." "Um ... bad impression?" "Concerning your arrival, of course," said Luna. Did she mean Ponyville? She had to. She would be interrogating me much further otherwise. "Oh, well ... Pinkie Pie sort of took care of that while I was in the hospital with her ... uh ... song." Celestia chuckled. "That is certainly a much better impression to leave upon you." "So long as her presence was not too overwhelming," added Luna. "Oh, but Pinkie Pie always exercises the most exquisite discretion and a rational approach to any situation, dear sister." "Indeed she does. Only the other day I was thinking she would have been much better suited as the Element of Calm Restraint." "Huh??" I blurted. Celestia and Luna looked at each other and laughed. That had been a joke? They were sisters? Pinkie was another Element-bearer? My head spun. Luna smiled at me. "Do not be so involved in your personal struggles that you fail to see the lighter side of life, Candy Swirl. If anypony knows how such a thing can consume oneself, it would be me." What was I supposed to say to that? Celestia took a step towards me. "And my advice to you, Candy Swirl, would be to trust in your friends." Trust in my friends? I had no friends. No, maybe that was too harsh. I supposed I had ponies who wanted to be my friends. Certainly Rarity and Fluttershy, but even they had known me for only a few days. Was Princess Celestia making an assumption? Perhaps she was powerful, but I doubted she was omniscient. The map in the council room stirred in my thoughts again, with Rarity and Fluttershy's cutie marks floating above the castle. Was my attempt to associate it with me just the height of paranoia? Maybe I needed to stop thinking everything revolved around me. "Thank you, Princess," I said, though my voice sounded a bit stilted even to me. "Um, both of you. I'll try to remember that." Princess Celestia smiled gently. "Please feel free to return to the festivities. I am sure you wish to avail yourself of the wonderful dinner Pinkie Pie managed to organize in such a short time." "Yes, of course. Thank you." I backed up a few steps before I remembered to bow again. I stood and tried to keep my pace to no faster than a trot as I retreated. Rarity met me halfway back to the others. "That audience was rather short. Did it go well?" I honestly had no idea. "Um, yes, I think it went fine." "You do look a little rattled." "Just nervousness over meeting them for the first time, that's all." "Mm, yes, my first experience with Canterlot nobility was like that. Always worried about saying the right thing or maintaining the proper decorum. If it helps any, from what I saw from here, you handled yourself wonderfully." I smiled faintly. "Thanks." "We were about to sit down to have some dinner," said Rarity. "Please come and join us." I looked around. The princesses were talking with Twilight. Shining Armor was conversing with some guards. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were having a spirited debate. I had managed to sink into the background again, which suited me fine. "Yes, I would like that," I said. Some of the butterflies in my stomach had fled; I could actually eat something. I still ate light, as only a few hours had passed since lunch. This was fortuitous, as Pinkie plied me with sweets and confections just when I was ready to head back to my room. I could not leave until I had sampled at least one of everything. Apparently she intended to make good on her claim that I needed to "catch up" in desserts. That they were so tasty thwarted my efforts to resist. The sun hung low in the sky by the time I returned to my room. I yawned through a farewell to Fluttershy before closing the door, and my stomach gurgled in protest against an overabundance of sugar. I wanted to sleep, but I was too buzzed from gratuitous desserts. I discovered a remedy sitting on the dresser. I had made an offhand comment earlier to Twilight about having nearly completed the Daring Do book. Apparently she had Spike deliver the next story in the series to my room. This induced energy tempted me to head over to the library, but my fear of running into Queen Chrysalis outweighed curiosity. Neither the efficiency of the guards, nor their ability to detect the changeling queen's magic, could compel me to make myself a target. The opportunity to wear Rarity's great effort may never come again, yet I removed it with as much care as my still unskilled hooves would allow. History had repeated itself; I had done the same thing with the dress my mother had made for my twelfth birthday. An occasion "special enough" to urge me to wear it again had never come, and my mother's passing had dried up any further opportunities. I took a deep breath and shuddered. I wiped an eye before climbing into bed with the book. Not until the moon had well risen did I finally feel like I could sleep. I resolved not to let Pinkie tempt me ever again. I slid out of bed to use the bathroom. On the way back, I spotted something on the floor. A folded piece of paper had been slipped under the door. I trotted over and failed to open it with a single hoof. I sighed as I plopped down on my haunches. That was the most annoying problem with being a quadruped: having to sit down to use both my fore-hooves. I unfolded the document and read: It is of the utmost importance we meet privately. We have very much to discuss. Your future disposition in Equestria hangs in the balance. I cannot guarantee your safety if you do not respond to this summons. Be at the balcony at the end of the Guest Hall at midnight. Do not be late. -- Concerned Royalty My blood ran cold. I swallowed hard and lifted a trembling hoof to my pendant. Concerned Royalty? Who had sent this? Princess Celestia? No, the tone was too harsh, if my short time with her had been any indication of her disposition. Princess Luna? Maybe. Her speech patterns were a touch more formal. Princess Twilight? No, that made even less sense than Celestia. It had to be Luna. Dear God, she knew. She knew. Her words to me at dinner had been oh-so-carefully crafted. She had indeed meant my arrival in this world. Did Celestia know? Was Luna keeping this from her? Was Celestia's wrath a terrible thing to behold despite her friendly nature, and Luna was protecting me from her? I saw myself in the alley again, facing down the bullet, knowing it should have pierced my heart. I had obviously blown that second chance, and now I had another. I could not screw this up again. I stood and opened the door. One of the guards immediately turned to me. "Yes, Miss Swirl?" "I-inform me when it's midnight," I said. "No, I mean ... ten minutes to midnight. If I'm asleep, wake me up." The guard hesitated, but nodded once. "Of course, Miss Swirl." "Also, did you see who slipped the paper under my door?" The guard gave me a confused look. "I'm sorry? Paper?" "Nopony has approached your door since Miss Fluttershy departed," said the other guard. "Do you need us to summon Prince Shining Armor?" asked the first. "No!" I blurted. "I ... I-I'm sorry, I was mistaken. Fluttershy had said she wanted to ... to give me a document, and I likely just dropped it by the door." "No worries, Miss Swirl," said the first guard. "We will summon you at ten to midnight as you requested," said the second guard. "Thank you," I said before closing the door. I doubted I needed to insist they wake me up. No way would sleep overtake me now. A knock at the door jolted me back to full wakefulness. "Miss Swirl? It is ten before midnight." Somehow I had actually nodded off. Hearing the time instantly banished my lingering grogginess as I slipped out of bed and cantered to the door. "Yes, thank you," I said upon opening it. I stepped into the hall and glanced at each guard, opening my mouth to give them a completely unnecessary order. I closed it without a word and simply trotted forward. The guards, as expected, fell into step with me, the only sound that of their hooves and the occasional clink of their armor. Each of the other guest rooms were guarded as well, but as my eyes fell on what I assumed was Princess Luna's room, I flinched and stopped dead. Her guards appeared to be pegasi at first glance, but their wings were much different. Instead of feathered, they appeared leathery, almost bat-like. They turned their heads towards me and regarded me with a narrowed gaze. I swallowed hard and continued on. I gazed through the glass doors of the balcony. It lay empty. I almost hoped the doors were locked. Instead, they unlatched and opened easily at my touch. I shivered, more so than the cool air could account. I took a deep breath and trotted towards the railing. Something shimmered just past the edge. I pushed a hoof forward, and my eyes widened as it met resistance, ripples spreading from my touch. "A shield, Miss Swirl," said one of the guards, his voice giving me a start. "Courtesy of Prince Shining Armor." I tilted my head. It curved around the entire castle. Fascinated, I failed to note the doors to the balcony opening again. Only when my guards turned and one cried, "What is this?!" did I whirl around. My breath caught in my throat. Oh, dear God, what ...?? I had expected Luna, or maybe Celestia. This being certainly had the height and general shape of one of the alicorns, but all resemblance ended there. She was midnight black, with a twisted horn rising from her head, and translucent wings more like those of an insect. Her eyes were large, somewhat slit-pupiled, and bright green. Strands of teal hair spilled from her head. Holes pierced her legs near her hooves and shot through her wings. Chitin covered part of her barrel. She was flanked by two Royal Guards, but they gave me no more sense of security than my own. She cast her gaze at me and smiled. I shivered when I glimpsed her fangs. "Well, now, might this be Candy Swirl?" she said, her voice sounding disconcertingly like two voices at frequencies very slightly out of sync with one another. "Very good. You chose to answer my summons. This bodes well." She stepped forward. I gasped and backed away. The sharp scrape of steel against steel sounded as first my guards crossed their spears in front of me, and the other guards crossed theirs before this creature. "Advance no further!" one of my guards bellowed. "With all due respect, Queen Chrysalis," said the other, confirming my worst fears as to the identity of this monster. "You should not be out of your room." Queen Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. "I do not recall being confined to my room for the duration of this summit!" "Nevertheless, you are not to approach Miss Swirl!" "I wish to have a private conversation with her. All of you are to leave us at once." "We cannot do that on your orders alone." Chrysalis smiled. "Then perhaps we should let Miss Swirl decide." My guards exchanged a look. "I would not recommend that course of action, Miss Swirl," said one. I sure as hell didn't either! But nothing could silence the question shouting in the back of my mind as to why this creature wished to speak to me. Certainly she knew she could not make off with my pendant due to the binding magic. Or with me for that matter, not with this shield in place. I swallowed hard before I demanded of the changeling queen, "Give me one good reason why I should send the guards away!" The Queen's smile widened. "The girl in the alleyway." My heart fell into my hooves. No, she couldn't mean ... "And the fact that I know precisely who -- and what -- that little girl is." I trembled. "Y-you're lying." "This same little girl lost a friend so terribly, all because she did not get there in time. Her mother a few years before that. Tsk, such a terrible life, and all because of a little trinket she--" "Stop it!" I screamed. A guard turned to me. "Miss Swirl, are you--" "Leave us alone," I said. "Miss Swirl, I don't think this is a good idea." "Y-you can detect her magic, right? That's what Twi ... what Princess Twilight said. You'll know if she uses it on me." "Yes, we will, but not until after the fact." "But she can't get out of here without you knowing. She can't take anything from me and run off with it." "Well, no, but--" "Then leave." The guard sighed but nodded to his cohort, and they lifted their spears. The other guards near Chrysalis did the same. "We will stand right outside the balcony doors, Miss Swirl. Signal us immediately if you need help. We will come in if we detect the least bit of unauthorized magic from her, or if she appears to be harming you in any way." "Understood," I said in a low voice. The guards left. I looked up at Queen Chrysalis, resisting the urge to cringe. "The guards are gone. Now, talk." Queen Chrysalis stepped forward. "Oh, I intend to. About a great many things ..." > Chapter 12 - Nothing Is Simple > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "So what else do you know about me?" I demanded of the changeling queen. Taking even just the illusion of initiative in the conversation stopped me from being completely scared out of my wits. "I know you are not really a pony," said Chrysalis with a sly smile. I bristled. I actually wanted to contradict her. "How do you know all this?" "Does it matter? The point is, if I have discovered this, so can your little pony friends. What do you think they'll do if they find out?" I stomped a hoof. "Is that what this is about?! You're going to blackmail me into giving you the pendant?" Chrysalis laughed as she started to slowly pace about the balcony. "Don't be so foolish, little not-pony. I have no interest in whether or not the ponies discover your secret. Continue to deceive them for as long as you wish. I find it amusing." "I'm not here for your amusement." Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at me. "But that's just it. You have no reason for being in Equestria at all." "I had a choice," I said in a hollow voice. She stepped up to me. My ears flattened against my head. I forced myself to meet her eyes. "Really?" said Chrysalis. "Is that the belief you've falsely labored under all this time?" "Wh-what do you mean by that?" "Oh, I am sure Discord made you think you had a choice, but that is not how he operates." My mouth dropped open, and my blood ran cold. Chrysalis chuckled. "Or did you not know that was who brought you here?" I squeezed my eyes shut. I forced the words through clenched teeth. "H-he ... he never told me his name ... he said he was a Spirit of Chaos." She started to pace again; I heard her hooves moving off to the side and around me. "That, my dear, is Discord." My chest became tight, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. "And ... a-and Fluttershy is supposed to be friends with him." Chrysalis' hooves stopped behind me. "What is this?" I heard the rising interest in the changeling queen's voice. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction, but my thoughts became sluggish for a moment, as if a wave of exhaustion had crashed over me, then just as suddenly vanished. I swallowed hard and opened my eyes. "I heard the other ponies mention his name, but I-I never made the connection." "Or perhaps they never intended for you to." I shook my head. "No, that ... I'm sure they just assumed I knew who Discord was. I mean, he's well-known here, isn't he?" Chrysalis circled back around to face me. "Tell me: did any of them claim that he was being reformed? That he was better than he used to be?" "Fluttershy had," I said in a small voice. "Twilight ... I overheard Twilight tell her brother that she didn't think Discord was involved in my appearance." Chrysalis uttered a low chuckle. "Seems to me they're keeping a great many things from you, dear Candy Swirl." "But if she really didn't know Discord had--" "She is a Princess!" Chrysalis bellowed, and I retreated a half-step. "It is her business to know such things! But like all royalty, it is her choice as to whom she reveals what she knows. And how much." Her eyes narrowed, and her lips twisted into a grin. "Perhaps even to manipulate a little scared not-pony into giving up her pendant." As she resumed her pacing, I pressed my hoof into my pendant, and I felt my heart trying to pound its way out of my chest. I had to take more control of this conversation. This had to be a fishing expedition. My fear of her would only work against me. Or ... was I frightened of something else? My thoughts slowed again, perhaps because I didn't want to face the possibility that the others had been lying to me all this time. I shook my head. "No, this is stupid," I muttered in response to my own thoughts, but my conviction was weak. "Twilight wanted to protect me." Chrysalis stopped. "Did she now?" Again, that tone of malevolent interest, yet now it drew me like a moth to a flame. "Yes. She said the pendant had powerful magic. She wanted to keep it shielded." She stepped up to me and lifted a hoof. I backed away as she pointed her hole-infested appendage at my pendant. "And yet she allowed you to continue wearing it." "I don't have a choice!" I cried. "It has some sort of binding magic that returns it to me unless I give it up willingly." Chrysalis lowered her hoof. "And how did you learn of this?" She chuckled. "Let me guess: Twilight told you, and you believed it." "I've seen the binding magic work!" "Did she not offer to break it for you?" "She said she didn't know how." Chrysalis threw her head back and laughed. "The Princess of Magic? An alicorn? Unable to perform such a simple magical feat?" "She told me it was very difficult!" "More lies! They are taking advantage of your lack of knowledge of this world!" "B-but they don't know where I'm really from." Chrysalis chuckled. "So they say." My head spun around the question I finally dared to ask: could they have been lying to me all this time? Why was I even entertaining the notion? Yet why shouldn't I? How was I supposed to know who was telling me the truth? That, of course, included the changeling queen herself. I leveled my gaze at her. "Tell me why I should believe you. They ... th-they've been nothing but nice towards me. Rarity even wants to foster me." Chrysalis resumed pacing. "Hrm. So I have heard." "And Rarity believes what Twilight said about the pendant. Unless you're going to claim that Twilight is lying to all of them. Or they're all in this stupid conspiracy of yours together." I started to turn, intending to follow her as she walked. Chrysalis' eyes flicked over me. "Take a good look at that pendant, Candy Swirl." I stopped moving, frowned, and looked down. "What about it?" "Keep looking at it, and remember." "Huh? Remember what?" "Remember the alleyway." I swallowed hard. "I would rather not." "Oh, but it is very important that you do." Thoughts became like thick taffy, and I blinked rapidly. She next spoke into my ear from right behind me. I whirled around and nearly fell back on my haunches as her face loomed barely a hoof's breadth from my muzzle. "That is, if you want to see what really brought you here," said Chrysalis in a silky voice. I panted hard, as if again running from my pursuers. What the hell did she mean? I had no breath to ask. I pressed my hoof to my pendant as I struggled to recall memories I had wanted to cast off. Chrysalis resumed her infernal pacing. I tried to follow her with my gaze, but it distracted me from my recollection. "Discord brought me here," I said in a quavering voice. "What more is there to know?" "Think back further than that!" Chrysalis snapped. "How did you come into the predicament that gave that infernal draconequus an excuse to intervene? What happened?" "I ... they pursued me into the alley. I wasn't sure if they really knew I was there because it was so dark. I tried to hide, but ... they found me." Chrysalis stopped before me. "Yes, they found you. Why?" "Because ..." And I remembered ... ~~~ Footsteps sounded like lead blocks tramping against the detritus of the alley as the flashlight beam narrowed. I smelled old cigarettes and cheap booze. I held my breath. They were passing by me. They didn't see me. I was going to live another ... I felt something like a mild electric shock against my hand, and my body jerked. The flashlight swung hard and blinded me. ~~~ My stomach lurched, and I tasted bile. My hoof covering the pendant dropped to the floor with a dull clop. "B-because the ..." "Yes?" I clenched my teeth. "The pendant ... j-jolted my hand ... like a little shock ... and ..." "And they saw you. And they tried to kill you." I stomped both fore-hooves to the floor and screamed, "How do you know all this?!" Chrysalis frowned. "Does it matter? You ask questions which are irrelevant, and you continue to ignore what is right in front of your muzzle! The pendant is the ultimate cause of you coming to Equestria!" My stomach heaved again. I stared down at the instrument of betrayal. All along I had known what really happened and ignored it. I wanted nothing more than to yank the pendant from my neck and fling it across the balcony. I squeezed my eyes shut again and tried to breathe. No, I would not let myself hate Michelle. I would die before I did that. She had no idea this would happen. Yet for all of the changeling queen's vitriol, I could not deny what had happened. All she had done was force me to realize the truth. I heard Chrysalis step up to me. "This pendant is a clear danger to you." It could not be as simple as that ... yet a coherent thought failed to come to me for a moment ... "It will continue to remain a danger so long as you possess it." My fore-hoof rose as if to protect my pendant again, trembled, then dropped to the floor. "And Twilight, the Princess of Magic, and the so-called Princess of Friendship, chose to let you continue to wear it despite the danger." I gasped as I contemplated the unthinkable, that Twilight -- perhaps all of them -- had lied to me from the start. Yet ... Chrysalis had her own motivations, of which I had little clue except one. I opened my eyes and lifted my gaze to hers. "Let me guess. You want me to give the pendant to you." Chrysalis smiled. "Is that not an obvious solution?" It was. And simple. I could do it right then. I wanted nothing more to do with the pendant. In all my weakness, fury, and pain, I could willingly give up possession of it. My emotional dependency on it had finally been broken. Surely Michelle would not want me to keep it if she knew what it could do to me. It wasn't her fault, and it wouldn't be my fault for giving it up. Or I could wait and give it to Twilight. But if she had lied to me, I had no idea if I could trust her intentions anymore. Yet what exactly were Chrysalis' intentions? "Just explain to me one thing," I said. "Why did one of your kind try to take it from me? Why did she try to trick me into giving it up?" Chrysalis turned away and resuming pacing. "An overeager drone. One with far too much ambition and far too little forward thinking. I had told her of the threat your pendant posed to you, and she took matters into her own hooves. She will be severely disciplined." Was that a plausible explanation? I wanted to believe so. Yet why didn't her drone just remind me of what the pendant had done to me in the alley like Chrysalis had done? I might have believed her. My thoughts seemed to stick and grind, like gears trying to move against the force of the motor, hampering my ability to make sense of this. When my head cleared, my question did not make as much sense anymore. Of course this drone would not have thought of telling me, if she had acted as foolishly as Chrysalis claimed. I did not flinch when I heard the changeling queen's voice behind me, and I listened willingly, almost eagerly. "Do you want to know why I am here for this summit, dear Candy Swirl? I am here to beg on behalf of my people for whatever scraps of kindness the alicorns will deign to bestow upon us." "I-I don't understand." Chrysalis snorted and stepped in front of me. "Then allow me to educate you. Your so-called friends were responsible for confining my hive to the badlands. Changelings thrive on emotions, and they saw fit to banish us to an uninhabited wasteland! They would just as soon see us all die of starvation and solve their 'problem' for them!" I swallowed hard. Could they have really done such a thing? Chrysalis stepped closer. "I know a little of the history of your world. Groups of beings persecuted for their beliefs, their culture, or simply for what they looked like. A pity if that would be allowed to happen here in Equestria, land of friendship, sunshine, and rainbows." "What does this have to do with my pendant?" I cried. "Fine, maybe the ponies did all these bad things, but how does that involve me?" "Twilight was absolutely right about one thing," said the changeling queen in a low, conspiratorial voice. "Your pendant is indeed a powerful magical artifact. As such, it is very valuable. If I possess it, it will give me great leverage over the alicorns." "B-but what does it do?" "Irrelevant! It is a bargaining chip, nothing more! Twilight's fascination with Starswirl the Bearded is practically a fetish. I intend to exploit it." "And what about me?!" I shouted. "If these ponies really are as bad as you claim, what are they going to do to me when they find out I've given you the pendant?!" Chrysalis laughed. "Simple. Tell them I found a way to break the binding magic and steal it from you. Considering their hatred of me, they will accept that. I will be very interested to know Twilight's reaction. Perhaps she will realize how foolish she was not to break the binding magic herself when she had the chance." I lowered my head and let out a shaky sigh. Desperation drove me to acceptance of her words, yet some ill-defined need inside me still resisted. "They can't be all lying to me," I said in a small voice. "Oh, really, now?" said Chrysalis, voice as smooth as oil. My mind went fuzzy for a moment, and I lost my reply. "I suppose you mean this nonsense about Rarity fostering you. A mere obligation on her part, I am sure." I scraped a fore-hoof on the floor. My ears drooped. In my mind's eye. Rarity and Fluttershy's cutie marks floated above the castle on the glowing map. Like they were summoned, called to an obligation they had to fulfill, just another duty as part of whatever council they were on. "But if I give you the pendant, I still have to face them," I said. "Not if you are no longer in Equestria." My head sprang up. I stared at her. "Wh-what??" "I can offer you a way home." My heart lurched. "A way ... home ... But how--?" "You wished to know how I came to discover so much about you," said Chrysalis. "I have a means to access your world. Discord does not have a monopoly on such magic." "But could you also change me back into ... into what I was?" Equestrian had no word for "human." Chrysalis chuckled. "Shapeshifters like us not know how to do such magic? You need to pay a little more attention." "I'm sorry, I just ... Discord made this sound permanent." "Of course he did! That is how he toys with the destinies of other creatures! He will lie if it suits his agenda, or if he is bored, or it happens to be a Sunday. He is called the Spirit of Chaos for a reason." "Shining Armor actually did think Discord was involved in this," I said in a weak voice. "Then he is showing a rare moment of insight." "H-he thought I was in league with him," I said in a shaky voice. "And he will likely continue to believe so." "But Rarity said she had straightened him out!" "She can claim anything she wants to," said Chrysalis. "If it is her duty to do so." I sighed. The map entered my head again. "And you said Fluttershy is friends with Discord," Chrysalis sneered. "She has either been corrupted by his magic or is a blind fool. Can you trust a pony that has been either compromised or is so very gullible, let alone call her your friend? With so many ponies saying one thing, and so many saying another, can you truly trust anything anypony is telling you?" "I-I don't know ..." I choked out, my eyes blurring. "To me, your choice is very clear, Candy Swirl," said the changeling queen. "Give me the pendant. Claim I stole it from you. I will triumph over the alicorns and send you back to your world. You will never have to think of Equestria -- or be a pony -- ever again." She drew herself up to her full height. "It will simply no longer be your problem." So simple. So easy. Just end the nightmare here. Another second chance, but back in my own body, back in my own world. A world I understood. A world without a mother. A world without friends. No, stop. Too many assumptions. I assumed I had friends here. I assumed I'd never make any back in my world. I assumed I deserved any in either place. I just wanted the pain to go away. I swallowed hard as I sat down on my haunches, tears dripping to the floor. I reached up with trembling hooves to my pendant. My breath quickened. My heart thumped so hard my chest ached. I moved my hooves to undo the clasp. I hesitated. It's a symbol of a close friendship I once had. I had told that to Rainbow Dash in the hospital room. She had stopped browbeating me, and then she had defended me against the changeling. She even hurt her head and acted like it was nothing! The one pony at the time I would have been glad to never see again, and she likely knew it, and yet she still did it. Why? Rarity made me a dress when she had little time to spare due to an overdue banner for the summit and ferrying her little sister to and from school. She even put me ahead of a paying customer. Why? Fluttershy never failed to offer a hug or a comforting word, even though every bit of her body language declared she felt more comfortable around animals than other ponies. In the hospital after the changeling attack, she had comforted me first. Why? Pinkie Pie wrote a song for me and sang it right in front of me in the hospital. Even in her own comical way, she nearly exploded with concern over my happiness from the start. Why? Even Applejack, despite harboring the most obvious skepticism towards some of my claims, never tried to call me out on it and exuded a trustworthiness I had never experienced before. Why?? Was it true? Was it all an act? Was it conditional? Was it part of some greater game being played? Were they like Fluttershy might be, just pawns of Discord? Could I go home again? Why was nothing simple?! I dropped my hooves. "Not yet." "What?!" Chrysalis cried, startling me back on all four legs. "I said not yet!" "You are a fool to wait any longer!" "Then I'll be a fool!" I shouted. "I was a fool to accept the pendant from my friend in the first place. I was a fool to run away. I was a fool for listening to Discord. Maybe I was even a fool to trust anypony here. What's being a fool a little longer going to cost me?!" Chrysalis narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth. "Unless you can simply break the binding magic yourself and truly take it from me." The changeling queen paused a long moment before she responded in a low, venomous voice, "No, I cannot." "Then you have no choice. You'll just have to wait. I-I need time to think." "I said I would not blackmail you for the pendant," Chrysalis said. "You must give it to me willingly to be free of the binding magic. But if you dare go against me, if you inform the ponies of our discussion and my desires, I will do everything in my power to see it they think of you as one of my spies! Or an agent for Discord! Or both!" My heart fell into my stomach. "I will not have my cause denied," Chrysalis declared. "I have waited too long and suffered too much at the hooves of these infernal alicorns. Yes, think, Candy Swirl. Think hard. Think about condemning my kind to a slow and lingering death if you don't give me that pendant. See if you truly believe that holds up against the so-called friendship the ponies have given you on the pretense that they believe you are one of them! Which you are not!" I trembled hard. My throat closed up. I heard only my own ragged breath. Chrysalis turned away and headed for the balcony doors. She paused and turned her head towards me. "You have a day to make your decision, Candy Swirl. I will inform you of the time and place. You can choose to give me the pendant, and let me set right for you what Discord set wrong ... or you can keep it, and remain in an alien world inhabiting an alien body -- and quite possibly in an alien dungeon -- for the rest of your life." I held my breath as the doors glowed with her magic. Her guards fell into step flanking her as she left. My guards rushed to me. "Are you all right, Miss Swirl?" No. I would never be all right. I stopped being all right when I was thirteen. "Yes, I'm fine," I lied in a quaking voice. The guards exchanged a look but said nothing. I trotted numbly back to my room. They dutifully remained silent, and just as dutifully took up position on either side of my door as I stepped into my room. I had no more strength left to think or feel. I crawled into bed and wept until sleep claimed me. > Chapter 13 - Rethinking > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- No. I don't want to be here again! The same street. The same grime and decay. The same gloomy, damp night. The same apartment building. The same useless endeavor. The same shit all over again! My cell phone warbles. I yank it out and throw it as hard as I can. I cannot even gain the satisfaction of hearing it smash against the concrete, as it vanishes into the dream aether before-- My cell phone warbles. What the fuck?! I just threw it away! Goddamn it! I pull it out again and hurtle it to the ground. This time I am well-rewarded for my effort as the screen shatters and the casing fractures. I stomp on it with my feet for good measure and kick the broken remnants. They skitter across the concrete and vanish into-- My cell phone warbles. I pull it out again. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!" I scream at the phone's glowing screen. Yet all my emotion does nothing to wipe the text message glaring at me in mockery of my rage: youhavetoseeyouhavetoseeYOUHAVETOSEE See what?! What is this supposed to mean? I ... wait, this is from Michelle! I've been trying to reach her all day! She hasn't responded to texts or ... ... nononoNONO STOP IT STOP IT! I'm not doing this again. It means nothing. It's just more pain. I'm going to get rid of the pendant. I'm going to free myself of these nightmares. The text message changes, and I nearly drop the phone in shock. please dont give me away "Wh-what?? This can't ... y-you don't have a say in this! You're just a stupid piece of jewelry! Why did I ever think you meant anything more than--!" not until you seeseeseeseeseesee Wait, this is from Michelle! I've been trying to ... Dammit, NO! I ... shit ... FINE! We'll do this again! I'll fail again! I run into the building ... up the stairs ... to the apartment. I'm ... here already? How did I get here that fast? "Why are you doing this to me?!" Michelle wails from within, and I gasp and stagger. "I thought you were my friend!" I hurtle myself at the door and smash it down. It's all the same! The drugs. The mess. My dying friend. The figure standing over ... ... over her ... My eyes widen. Someone IS here! A woman. She turns around, and my heart nearly stops. I stagger backwards and thump against the closed door I had supposedly smashed to bits. I'm staring at ... ... me?! No, how can that be?! This can't be what I saw! It has to be a delusion. I wasn't here, not until I broke through her door. And how could it close behind me? I ... My vision blurs. I blink rapidly, and she's gone, like she was never there. I'm on the street again. I don't wait to hear their footfalls. I turn to run, then recoil with a shrill shriek, falling backwards on my ass. "I can make all this go away," says Queen Chrysalis as she stares down at me, a sly smile stretching across her muzzle. "Wh-what?? But you ... how are you in my ...?!" "I can take away your pain. You will never be plagued by this nightmare again. You will never (SEE) feel such utter failure every night." I am too wrapped up in my own fear to notice the heavens opening as I scrabble backwards from this monstrosity. Chrysalis laughs. "You are a fool to consider any other course! You have no way out, and no way forward, only a way back! Back where you started!" "I can safely say," rises a voice from behind me. I look up and see Princess Luna step forward. "That I am quite tired of hearing from you any further." A single bolt fired from her horn, and Queen Chrysalis dissolves into mist. I stand. "She ... she was just ..." "Just a figment of your dream, yes," says Luna. "But you're not." Luna smiles gently. "No, I am not." "You're ... probably pretty confused about me." "Indeed, I am. Perhaps not quite in the way you think, however." She pauses as she looks around. "The entity was here again, the one who is trying to help you." "Who ... or what is it?" "I am still uncertain." Luna turns to me. "You are the better one to find out." I sigh and hang my head. "I don't want to find out. I just want this to stop." Something very soft brushes against my chin, urging it up. Only when my eyes are level with hers do I realize it is the tip of one of her wings. "You are almost there. You saw part of what you have been prevented from seeing for so long. You need only to take the final step." "But it made no sense!" I wail. "I saw me! What does that mean?" Luna considers. "I could tell you what I think, but ... I fear that in your present state, you may not believe me, and it may unravel what you have already accomplished." My eyes tear up. "I don't want to keep doing this." "I am sorry. I can only chase away the phantoms, not hold memories or emotion at bay. Some things the dreamer must work out herself." Luna sighs. "Even if the answer is not what she wants to accept." "Y-you're saying that ... that this j-just means I-I'm responsible for--" Luna holds up a hoof. "No. Do not make conclusions yet. Wait." I sigh. "That's all I ever seem to do." Luna smiles. "Then you are already quite skilled at it. Now, I must leave you. It grows late." She pauses. "Then again ... some answers are best found when the night still reigns." My eyes opened. I groaned and rolled onto my front. I blinked the crud of too little sleep and dried tears from my eyes. I splayed my hooves and thwacked my head against the pillow, uttering a long sigh that echoed in the silence of the moon-splendored night. I wanted to forget about that dream, but lack of returning slumber forced me to recall it. Ever since I had arrived, the winds of fate buffeted me wherever they pleased. Perhaps becoming a pegasus who had no idea how to use her wings would have been a more appropriate form. I sighed and dropped off the bed with a resounding clop of hooves that reminded me of my predicament. For over a day, being a pony had simply happened, and now the changeling queen had thrust it back into my consciousness, like trying to sleep and suddenly becoming aware of my breathing. I picked up a fore-hoof and stared at it. I tried to envision a hand, flexing the fingers in my mind. The imagery refused to come. Was my brain no longer wired for it except in the depths of dream? Would I have to adapt once more when I became human again? Or were my dreams a sign that this pony body was just a wrapper around the real me? What the hell was the real me anymore? I lowered the hoof. Despite how gently I set it down, I still heard its impact. I needed to leave this room, yet the skies through the window remained dark save for the scattering of stars and the pale glow of the moon. Some answers are best found when the night still reigns. I cast a heavy gaze at the dresser. The gold of the pendant gleamed as if in mockery of me. I forced myself to cross the room and put it back on. I clenched my teeth briefly at the sound of the clasp closing by itself. Why was it so eager to attach itself to me? Did it simply want to cause me pain? I trotted to the door. I lifted a hoof to open it when muffled noises from the hall stopped me: a shuffle of armor, a clop of hooves, and conversation in indeterminate whispers. The hooves and talk receded into the distance, and it became silent once more. I pushed open the door. My guards flanked the door on either side, as always. A different shift, of course, but still one pegasus and one unicorn. "Good morning, Miss Swirl," said the former. "What time is it?" I asked. "Almost dawn, Miss Swirl." I had hoped for enough night remaining to visit the library. So much for Luna's words in my dream. I needed some air. Perhaps I could visit the balcony again, this time alone. I headed down the hall, and my guards followed. I sighed when I saw four guards posted outside the balcony doors. So much for that idea. I started to trot past them, but two were those strange pegasi with bat-like wings. I turned my head towards them and froze when my eyes beheld who lay behind the transparent doors. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stood on the balcony, quietly conversing. I stared at them for one second too long, and Celestia turned her head towards me. I backed up a step and started to turn away. Celestia's horn glowed, and the doors burst open. "Good morning, Candy Swirl," said Celestia with a soft smile. "Would you care to join us in welcoming the dawn?" I swallowed hard. I failed to remember anything Rarity had taught me about dealing with royalty, yet I could not simply refuse. Only when I had stepped over the threshold did I realize with no small amount of horror that I had not taken a shower yet, and my mane was likely a mess. Somehow, I remembered to bow. "You are up rather early," said Celestia. I rose to my hooves. A dozen responses flitted through my head, none of which were anything I wanted to admit. "Um ... yes, I am, Princess." "Did you sleep well?" asked Luna. So she still didn't know? It seemed impossible, but I would take advantage of it. "I slept okay, Princess. Thank you for asking." Celestia turned to her sister. "After you, of course." Luna smiled. "Of course." She turned towards the railing, and her horn glowed. I stepped to the side so I could see the sky better. My heart thumped as the moon slid down. I could actually see it moving. I was watching a living being move a celestial body. She swept the stars from the skies next, the heavens surrendering the darkness to a gentle twilight glow. Luna's horn still glowed. Only then did I notice a few stars still twinkling above where the moon had set -- had been made to set. My jaw dropped as the stars twirled about each other, darting out and then back, and finally diving for the horizon one by one. "Cheeky," said Celestia with a smile. "How often do I have an audience?" said Luna as the glow of her horn finally faded. Had she done that little show for me? Was that just to be showy, or was it meant as a display of her power? Celestia glanced at me before she turned towards the skies, a golden glow surrounding her horn. My heart raced as the skies brightened, and the brilliant orb of the sun glowed a deep orange as it peeked above the horizon. I then understood what Queen Chrysalis was up against. She needed leverage against creatures with nothing less than divine power. Celestia and Luna had the power of life and death over this world. But how could they not raise the sun every morning? Unless they had a means of controlling where it cast its light, they could not punish their own subjects just to make a point to some other creatures in the world. Despite their apparent benevolence, this amount of power frightened me. Gods and goddesses did not manifest in such undeniable ways back on Earth. Here, they formed the very reality of Equestria itself. They had become an integral part of how it worked. Yet the ponies did not worship them, nor did these alicorns appear to demand it. How did Chrysalis expect a single magical artifact to act as leverage over beings of such power? Would they be swayed by its mere uniqueness or monetary value? She had said she would exploit Twilight's weakness for such things. Did she intend to pit her against these two? That seemed rather unlikely, unless it was all no more than a political game. The sun rose fully, its light now slowly edging towards yellow, and I turned my eyes away when it became blinding. Celestia turned from the railing, her horn quiescent. "I still admire your delicate touch, dear sister," said Luna. Celestia smiled. "Thank you." She turned to me. "So what are your plans for today, Candy Swirl?" "Um ... I actually don't know, Princess," I said. "I assume Rarity and Fluttershy will stop by sometime this morning." After all, that was their obligation, wasn't it? "You might be interested in knowing that Twilight has some leads as to the origins of your pendant," said Celestia. My conversation with Chrysalis had led me to the inescapable conclusion that this pendant had indeed originated in Equestria. It should have made the decision that much easier. If it had originated here, then I would be returning it to its rightful place of origin. Why should I care what they did with it? What difference did it make to me who controlled it? I did wonder how it got to Earth, but that was the least of my concerns. "Will she want to examine it further, Princess?" I asked. "That is up to her, but she may at least wish to ask you more questions about it." "While she realizes you do not remember all the details of your past," said Luna. "It is hoped she may mention something that will spark your memory." I wished I could take what Luna said at face value and not scrutinize it for a hidden meaning. She had seen Chrysalis in my dreams. Had she not made the connection? Or was the changeling queen a common vision in pony nightmares? But that meant Chrysalis had done something truly evil to become a common nightmare. Or had the ruling monarch -- diarch -- made her out to be a nightmare? The victor writes the history books, after all. Banishing an entire race to a land where they had little chance to obtain nourishment filled me with a sense of unease. Chrysalis' anger seemed justified in light of that. Luna looked at me expectantly. "I'll do my best to answer any questions she has for me, Princess," I said. "I'm just not sure how much it matters." "Oh?" Dammit, why did I have to say that? "I don't know magic. I mean, I don't know advanced magic. Like the kind of magic that created the pendant." "If anypony can determine the origin and purpose of your pendant," said Celestia. "It would be Twilight Sparkle." My mind spun as this conversation collided with the memory of Chrysalis' vitriol. I could almost hear her. "She used to be your student, wasn't she?" Celestia smiled. "Indeed she was. My best student, in fact." Yet she could not break the binding magic on my pendant? What of Celestia? She was akin to a goddess, she could move the damn sun, and yet she had not offered to do what Twilight could not. Was it beneath her? Or was the help being withheld? Or was it beyond even their power? Chrysalis had said she had come to beg for their indulgence. Had I been expected to do the same? I had the pendant, the same leverage Chrysalis desired, but no means to exercise it. My needs were modest compared to hers. Was what I wanted out of this so bad? "I'm sure she was very good," I said in a listless voice. "Well, most of the time," said Luna with a sly smile. "Dear sister, you did tell me of the day she had accidentally set fire to your throne." "Wait, that actually happened??" I blurted. Celestia giggled. Actually giggled. "Oh, my! Poor Twilight was so embarrassed!" She turned to me. "Spike told you, no doubt." I simply nodded. "Twilight never would, of course." "I do hope you solicited an appropriate bribe from Spike for your continued silence," Luna said. "Now now, Luna," said Celestia. "Don't encourage bad behavior in the young." "Daffodils," I said. "He, um ... got me extra daffodils with my lunch." "Too late, Tia," Luna said. Celestia laughed. "It was actually his idea, Princess," I said, smiling faintly. "Spike can always be counted on to have his heart in the right place," said Celestia. "Yes, he's ... he's nice," I said softly. My conversation with him over lunch had been some of the most stress-free moments since coming to Equestria. Even when he had tried to engage me in topics that were likely common knowledge but left me clueless, he had accepted either my silence or acknowledging nods and moved on. Spike had imposed no expectations on me. Celestia and Luna exchanged a smile. I found I was smiling, too, despite the tumult in my mind and heart. "I should allow you to prepare yourself for the day," said Celestia. "Oh, um, yes," I said. "I-I'm sorry, I'm a bit of a mess." "No worries, Candy Swirl. You should see my mane in the morning before I have brushed it." "I have," Luna said. "It is the stuff of nightmares, indeed." I placed a hoof over my mouth but giggled anyway. "I, um, better get to that. Thank you, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna." I turned and started off the balcony. I stopped at the threshold and bowed before heading down the corridor to my room. As stiff and stilted as my audience with them had been at dinner the day before, I could have wished for something as informal and ... lighthearted ... as what had just transpired. Yet why did my heart still race? No, I knew the answer. Despite how the diarchs conversed with such friendly aplomb, it served as window dressing to their display of power, whether intentional or not. What scared me more, siding with Chrysalis and facing the diarchs' wrath, or being discovered as an alien and meeting the same? Which fate was worse? Where did the diarchs' benevolence end? Why did I insist on assuming it had an arbitrary limit? My mind ran in circles. I needed more time to think. Preparing for my shower seemed to take forever. The braid resisted my clumsy efforts to be undone using my uncoordinated hooves and a brush. I muddled through it; learning this skill seemed a moot point if I might have short hair and hands again. I finally got my shower done, and my hair sorted out. The braid had imparted a lingering gentle wave to my mane, so I guess it still looked nice. I doubted I would have a chance to go to the spa again before I left Equestria, so this would have to do. Too bad. I actually liked that spa. I wore the pendant, an action now no more than simple reflex, like getting dressed when I was a human. Please don't give me away. Had I really seen that? Had it really come from the pendant? The pendant was a thing, an object. It took up space and nothing more. My own head had insisted on playing stupid tricks to further complicate a matter that ought to be simple. Like seeing myself in Michelle's apartment. What did that mean? That certainly could not have been real. How could I have seen myself? Unless ... Unless it had been a changeling. A changeling could look just like me if it wished. It could have taken my form, pretended to be me when it visited Michelle, and ... ~~~ ... erupts in sickly green light which strikes my eyes. My already tortured mind offers little resistance, almost welcoming the merciful stupor into which it falls ... ~~~ ... and yet ... ... yet that idea sounded fantastic even still. Didn't it make more sense to believe I saw an embodiment of my guilt? Had I got there in time, everything would have been different. Luna's words confused me. What could I possibly have been prevented from seeing other than a full acceptance of my complicity in Michelle's death? I winced and rubbed the side of my head as a dull ache suddenly flared through my skull. Where did that come from? Disrupted sleep rarely gave me a headache. Fortunately, the pain abated fairly quickly. I headed out of my room and said to the guards, "Please lead me to the dining hall." "Of course, Miss Swirl." When I entered the dining hall, I found five places set, but no food had been put out. Twilight sat at the table alone. She looked up and flinched slightly. "Oh, um, good morning, Candy. I thought you were going to wait for Rarity to pick you up from your room." I hesitated as Chrysalis' words spun through my head. Perhaps I had wanted to ease Rarity's obligation to me. "I figured I'd save her the trouble," I said in a flat voice as I sat down. Twilight smiled slightly. It seemed a bit forced. "Of course. Breakfast is a little delayed anyway. Spike had something to do at the last minute before he could prepare the meal." I nodded. I had no idea what to say. I weighed and measured every word in my head for its impact on my potential plans. God, that sounded like I was some evil overlord's minion plotting the overthrow of a kingdom, not some sixteen year old girl who simply wanted to get herself out from under something too big for her to understand. "Candy, do you know your plans for this morning?" Twilight asked. "No, not at all." "Would you consent to having me examine your pendant further?" I tensed, but I harbored no desire to lift my hoof to my pendant. "Why?" "I want to take some more readings. I've been trying to determine when and where Starswirl the Bearded may have created it. I've formulated a theory, and I want to see if the pendant will help confirm or deny it." I nodded slowly. "What's your theory, if you don't mind me asking?" Twilight's smile widened. "Well, some details are a little sensitive, but what I can tell you is that he created this pendant during one of several periods in his life where he left no record of his actions or travels. I believe he had created a secret lab in a remote area for the purpose of testing powerful or dangerous magicks. I want to locate that lab where I believe he created your pendant. I have a hypothesis, and some further examination of your pendant may confirm it." "So where do you think this lab may be?" I asked. "Or is that sensitive information?" "For now, yes." Of course. Like Chrysalis had said, she's royalty. She can decide to whom she reveals critical information and how much. Or was this all a ploy to get the pendant from me? Had she realized her mistake and planned to break the binding magic herself? That would relieve me of this decision, but also of any remaining leverage I had against being tossed in a dungeon once they discovered my origin. "Maybe we should do it a little later," I said, my voice quavering slightly. "Oh," said Twilight, crestfallen. "Um ... okay, sure." A moment later, I heard approaching hooves from the hall. "Ah, there you are, Candy," said Rarity as she entered. "I had gone to your room, but you had already left." She smiled at me. I smiled faintly in return, not completely forced. I still held dear the memory of our time together the morning before. I needed something pleasant to remember this world by if ... ... when I left. "Are you all right, Candy?" Rarity asked, looking at me with concern. "Oh, um, sorry," I said. "Just a little distracted this morning." "Perfectly understandable," she said as she took a seat next to me. "This summit has us all a little on edge." "Is Fluttershy coming?" I asked. "Ah, she's a bit nervous about Queen Chrysalis' presence." "Chrysalis is not going to be at breakfast," said Twilight. "It would've been safe for her." "But you know how she is sometimes. She will meet us outside when we are ready to head into town." "So you're taking Candy to Ponyville again?" Twilight said. Rarity smiled. "Do I sense a bit of distress in your voice? Envious, perhaps?" "Well ..." Twilight's gaze shifted to me for a moment. "I had hoped to take some time to examine the pendant again, but--" My eyes widened. I had already refused! Rarity waved a hoof. "Really, darling, you should keep your focus on the summit. Worry about Candy's pendant another day." Twilight looked unhappy at that rebuke. Maybe Rarity was still on my side after all. Was I being too harsh? Yet how could I not regard everything in a new light after what Chrysalis had told me? Twilight would not meet my eyes. Had the guards told her of my meeting with Chrysalis? If so, why had I not been called out on it? "I'm understandably anxious to solve the mystery behind that pendant," said Twilight after another furtive glance at me. "Especially in light of that attempt by the changeling to get into the castle." "But you thwarted that admirably. And easily." "I just wish we had caught that changeling." "Still no leads?" Rarity asked. Twilight sighed. "None. Strong Wing had taken off after the changeling when I revealed her Bon Bon disguise, but he was hit with a stun spell at the edge of the forest and had to break off." "Strong Wing?" "One of the guards on duty at the castle entrance that morning," said Twilight. "I would say if there have been no further attempts to breach the castle, you have more than proven your defenses are a match for them. Especially now with Shining Armor's shield in place." Twilight did not look mollified, but she remained silent. Rarity turned to me. "So, for this morning, Candy, I would like us to head over to my boutique again. You seemed so interested in my work, I thought I would catch up on a bit of my backlog and not worry about you being bored." "That sounds fine," I said. "But we do need to stop off at Town Hall briefly. I need to, ah, check on an application I submitted." "Application?" "Well, the details would bore you, trust me, and it won't take but a moment." Rarity continued the illusion she had no desire to foster me. By Chrysalis' reckoning, an illusion was all it had been. Keep me in ignorance, then. It was one less thing to hold me to this world. > Chapter 14 - Hurt > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "So what do you have planned for today, Candy?" I barely registered Spike's voice, even when he had addressed me directly, until Rarity gently nudged me. I looked up from my barely half-finished breakfast and cast my gaze on the smiling young dragon. "Oh, um, I was going to spend at least part of the day at the boutique. After that, I don't know." Rarity smiled. "I thought perhaps we would top off the morning with lunch at that new café which opened recently. They've already received rave reviews from the more upper crust of Ponyville society. Afterward, we would return to the boutique until it's time to pick up Sweetie Belle from school." Spike's eyes widened. "You're gonna spend the entire day away from the castle?" He reflected a bit of my own alarm, but likely for entirely different reasons. Chrysalis had said she would name the time and place when I had to give her the pendant (if I gave it to her), and I assumed I had to be in the castle for that. "Well, why not, darling?" said Rarity. "I'm sure Candy is not interested in some stuffy summit meeting." "There is the little matter of studying her pendant," Twilight said in a low voice. I debated seizing on that as a means of returning to the castle earlier, but that meant opening the door to my other fears. I glanced towards the end of the table. Princess Celestia had joined us for breakfast. She and Spike had arrived together, the latter scurrying off into the kitchen to prepare the meal. She had initially engaged us in conversation -- well, I mostly listened and made myself as unobtrusive as possible -- but she had since fallen silent, sedately eating her meal, utensils held in the golden glow of her horn. Her eyes were downcast, as if she were lost in thought. "Yeah, there's that!" Spike said. "And ... um ... well, I did like having lunch with her. I wouldn't mind doing it again." That ... had been unexpected. He must have sensed my surprise in the look I gave him, as he blushed faintly. Rarity gave Spike a half-lidded look. "Oh? Do I have some competition for my Spike-Wikey's affections?" I nearly choked on my bite of apple. I heard a faint giggle from the end of the table. Celestia had not looked up, but a small smile graced her muzzle. Spike's blush deepened. "I didn't mean that! I just ... um ... I dunno, maybe Candy wanted more daffodils? Not that I'm trying to bribe her aga ... I mean, I never bribed her before! Not that this is a bribe, either! Nope!" Both Twilight and Rarity stared at him. My sides hurt from suppressed laughter. "Um ... wh-what I mean is ... I thought ... Candy never got a proper tour of the castle." "Spike, we're trying to hold a summit," Twilight said. "Maybe this should wait until it's over?" "But by then Candy will be fostered to--" Twilight jabbed a hoof into his side. "Ack! I mean, well, the summit doesn't start until three, right?" "Spike is correct," Celestia finally spoke. "I wanted Luna to get at least some sleep." Sleep? I guess it made sense that Luna was nocturnal. "So why not have her come back here for lunch?" Spike said. "Then she can do your thing with the pendant, I can take her to the, er, I mean, take her on the tour, and we're all good!" He paused, his eyes shifting from side to side. "Um, right?" Seriously, what was up with Spike? Good God, I hope he didn't really have some sort of crush on me! That was the last thing I needed. Wait. He had almost spilled something again, hadn't he? Spike may be a great assistant to Twilight, but a master of subtlety he was not. He wanted me to be somewhere that afternoon. Had Chrysalis gone through him? Was that when I was supposed to make my decision regarding the pendant? That really did not seem at all like something Spike would do. I had to admit, Spike had managed to make me like him without really trying. I would not mind spending more time with him. "Candy, it really is up to you what you wish to do with your day," said Rarity. "I certainly will not force you. And the café will always be there." "I want to head back to the castle for lunch," I said. "And the tour." Spike smiled and gave me a thumb's up gesture. "And you'll let me examine the pendant?" Twilight said hopefully. "We'll see," I said in a low voice. Twilight sighed but said nothing in protest. Rarity glanced between Twilight and I, but also remained silent. Yeah, whatever was going to happen, it was going to be on my terms, ponies. Fluttershy awaited us just outside the castle. She gave me a warm smile. I had trouble returning it, but I managed. If I asked Fluttershy why she was friends with Discord, would the answer make any sense? Would I even accept it if it did? I remembered what I had promised I would do if I ever met Discord again. For awhile, I believed I could temper that response. He had saved my life, after all. Finding out the pendant itself had set the chain of events in motion changed everything. The pendant had originated in Equestria. Equestria was responsible for me being in Equestria. Wasn't that what it really came down to? "Candy?" came Fluttershy's tentative voice as we trotted into town, my guards closely bringing up the rear. I turned my head towards her. "Huh?" "Are you okay?" "Uh, yeah, I'm fine," I replied in a more curt voice than intended. "Why?" "You just seem kind of quiet this morning." "I do admit, you do seem a little out of sorts today," said Rarity. "Is there something you need to talk to us about?" I glanced between them. They both had hopeful looks on their faces. Were they expecting me to say something specific? Was Chrysalis right about them already knowing what I was, and all they needed was for me to confirm it? "I ... um ... n-no, nothing." I sighed. "Sorry, I had some trouble sleeping last night." "Goodness, I'm sorry about that," said Fluttershy. "The essences from the spa not working for you then?" asked Rarity. I could have face-hoofed. I had forgotten all about them. They still sat unopened in the vanity back in my room. God, I had been so out of it. "Um, no, not really." "I do hope this summit does not take too long," said Rarity. "We will all be better off when it's done." For once, I could agree. Maybe I would be gone before it concluded, if the outcome really mattered that little to me. A round building rose within a circular clearing near the center of town, just over a bridge which crossed a small stream, and Rarity guided us towards it. It looked impressive and central enough to be the Town Hall. I was ready to follow her in when Rarity turned to face me. "Ah, if you didn't mind waiting out here with Fluttershy, Candy, I will only be a minute." "Oh, um, sure," I said. Rarity smiled and trotted inside. I glanced at Fluttershy. She still had a troubled look in her eyes, yet I had to give voice to my earlier thoughts. "Fluttershy, I wanted to ask you about Discord." Her pupils shrank a bit. "Oh, um, what about him?" "You're supposed to be reforming him, right?" "Yes, that's right." "How?" Fluttershy blinked. "How?" "Yes, how?" I knew I risked revealing my ignorance about facts that might be widely known, and that perhaps had prompted Fluttershy's uneasy look. Of course, it had nothing to do with my accusing tone of voice. "I'm trying to show him how important friendship is," said Fluttershy. I waited. "Uh ... that's it?" "Well, maybe that's over-simplifying a bit. It's through friendship that he learns to use his powers for good." I had the urge to ask her to define what "good" meant in this context, but I refrained. "Does he tell you everything he does when you're not around?" "Not always." "Does he at least explain why he does ... what he does?" Fluttershy hesitated and averted her gaze, scraping a fore-hoof. "Um, he can be a little evasive sometimes." "So how do you really know he's serious? How do you know he's not just pretending to--" I flinched when she snapped her gaze back to mine. "Discord sometimes makes mistakes. He doesn't always get it right. He's new to friendship. He's dealing with completely new feelings, new motivations, and a new world view. That's hard. He's trying to fit into a place he never was before and not be forced to give up who he is." I stood in shocked silence, her eyes locked to mine. I had never heard Fluttershy speak with such passion before, even if still in her soft, gentle voice. New feelings. New motivations. New world view. Trying to fit in and not lose who I am. Yeah, I wouldn't know anything about that, would I? Wait, no. It wasn't entirely the same. It was not a fair comparison at all. I didn't have the ability to affect the destinies of others. I didn't snatch people from other universes. What could possibly motivate somepony like Fluttershy to do that for a creature of such power and such whimsy unless she were like Chrysalis had said, either beguiled or gullible? Nopony was that kind. We both jumped when a voice suddenly roared from inside Town Hall, "A WHAT has been filed against it?!" My eyes widened. I swore the ground actually shook. "Was that ... was that Rarity??" "Kindly allow me the courtesy to decide where the fault lies!" Rarity's voice thundered forth, making several nearby ponies turn their heads. "Now what are the reasons for this inane challenge?!" "Oh, dear," Fluttershy murmured. "That is patently absurd! I filed all the proper papers!" "What the hay?!" came a raspy voice from above. Rainbow Dash flew down and hovered nearby. "You can hear her halfway to Cloudsdale!" This could not possibly be about my ... "She is a FILLY, not the spawn of Tirek!" Fluttershy whimpered and hid her face behind her hair. "Oo, what's going on?" said Pinkie Pie as she bounced over. "ENOUGH! I demand to know who is responsible for this!" Pinkie pouted. "Aww, Rarity is ripping somepony else a new one, and I wasn't invited! Again!" "Ugh, that INSUFFERABLE mare!" Rarity boomed. "It is little wonder Sweetie Belle complains about that mare's daughter to no end! Fine. Let her have her petty little challenge. I've stared down greater beasts than her in my day, and the only thing she has that's more impressive than them is her BIG MOUTH! GOOD DAY!!" "Tarnation!" came Applejack's voice as she trotted over, a set of saddlebags over her barrel. "What the hay is Rarity goin' on about?" "That's what I wanted to know!" Rainbow said. "Take cover!" Pinkie cried, who was now wearing a pith helmet. "She's coming out!" I very nearly expected to see Rarity transformed into some sort of wild-eyed monster, yet out trotted the same dignified mare with the always well-coiffed mane, a serene smile on her face. She stopped short when she saw everypony staring at her and blushed faintly. "Oh, dear. I do hope I didn't make too much of a scene." "I-is everything okay?" Fluttershy said in a tentative voice. "Ah, well," Rarity began as she trotted forward. "Merely a minor bureaucratic delay on a certain legal proceeding. Nothing to fret about." So it was about my being fostered. Somepony had raised a stink about it, and Rarity ... Well ... A duty, right? Just a duty? She was just ... really adamant about it. My mother could be that way about business deals she absolutely wanted. This had to be no different, right? Nopony was that generous. Applejack raised an eyebrow. "You sure 'bout that, sugarcube?" Rarity uttered an exasperated sigh. "Really, Applejack, I have this under control. I simply need to make a few, ah, discreet inquiries to see if I can get around that insuff ... er ... concerned citizen's challenge." "Let me know if you need me to, you know, lean on anypony," said Rainbow. "Absolutely not, Rainbow! You should be ashamed for even thinking that." "Oo, I'll lean on them, too!" Pinkie said. Rarity gasped. "You, Pinkie? Resort to such ... ruffian tactics?" "Huh? I meant I'd lean on them until they fell over, then tickle them silly until they gave in!" Pinkie said with a smile. "That's what you were thinking, right, Dashie?" Rainbow face-hoofed. "Enough," said Rarity as she joined Fluttershy and I. "I have this well in hoof. Now, we should have been at the boutique fifteen minutes ago. Let's go." The sense of familiarity instilled merely by the distinctive aroma of fabric foiled my hopes of maintaining any sort of emotional distance. Smells, sights, and sounds conspired to force a sense of comfort with my surroundings while I stood in the back room of the Carousel Boutique. For once, enhanced equine senses were more a bane than a blessing. Equine. I had to keep that at the forefront of my mind. I still inhabited a body contrary to my birthright. Whatever sense of comfort or familiarity had accumulated in the past few days could not change that. I remained a stranger in a strange land, furthermore in a strange body. Like Chrysalis had hammered home, I was not one of them. I watched Rarity work. Her aplomb with magic sparked the same sense of wonder, even if the same smile failed to cross my muzzle as it had the day before. I viewed everything through a new critical lens. Scissors cut perfect lines and shapes, thread speared the eyelet of the needle on the first go, needle flowed through fabric like a fish through water, but I fought not to envy skills that I would never have before my time in Equestria was done. I watched a dress come to life, as elegant as any my mother might have produced. When my mother still made dresses by hand, my youth limited my appreciation to simply noting the pretty colors. In a single day with Rarity I had attained a far greater appreciation and sheer want for what my mother could do. Did. Had done. How many times had I slipped up in tense when talking about my mother? Or Michelle? How often had I talked about them as if I had just seen them last week? My head still insisted in living in a past world that no longer existed. For a brief time, I believed Equestria to be the solution, but it was really just a bigger part of the problem. Equestria was my past, thanks to the pendant. And if I wanted to get away from my past, I had to get away from this world as well. "Candy?" I blinked. "Huh?" Rarity had stopped her work. Nothing floated in the air like it might were this a simple pause to ask me a brief question. Her eyes regarded me with sad concern. "Are you quite sure you have nothing you want to talk to me about?" I clenched my teeth. I wished she had left me alone. Yes, I had plenty to talk about. Whether I should was the real question. "Candy, are you angry with me about something?" Rarity asked. I didn't have an answer for her. So I asked her something instead. "Rarity, are you intending to foster me?" Rarity's pupils shrank slightly, perhaps not shocked, but surprised. She gave me a weak smile. "I suppose there's no point in keeping it from you any further," she said in a soft voice. "I was intending for it to be a surprise once the summit was over. Yes, I am." "Why?" Rarity hesitated. "I'm sorry?" "It's a simple question," I said in a tense voice. "Why do you want to foster me?" She hesitated again. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach. Would she tell me the truth? That some magical map summoned her? That it was her duty? I might even appreciate her honesty; it would make the break with her -- and Equestria -- easier. "I don't have a simple answer for you, Candy," said Rarity. Of course. Nothing was simple. "Do you have any answer for me?" I demanded. Rarity's horn glowed briefly as she levitated the spectacles from her muzzle and set them aside. "The reason I was prompted to start the process is not the same as the reason I continued the process." Prompted to start the process. I had been right. Chrysalis had been right. "I strongly feel the second reason is more important than the first," Rarity said. Part of me screamed she was wrong, that the difference made her gesture completely worthless. I quelled it for the time being. "G-go on," I said in a small voice. "The second reason is ... I care for you, Candy." "You don't even know who I really am!" I yelled. "How can you say that?!" "Maybe I know you more than you think." My heart thumped. "Are you saying ... y-you know about my real past?" "No." Fear demanded I call her a liar. I suppressed it through sheer force of will and remained silent. "I'm saying it doesn't matter. What matters is who I see now. And the pony I see now is one I want to have a chance to flourish, to grow, to become a beautiful mare in spirit as well as body, a chance you won't get if you're left alone." I swallowed hard. "Y-you're not my mother," I breathed. "No, I'm not," said Rarity in a subdued voice. "And it would be unconscionably presumptuous of me to ever expect to replace her. I would not even expect you to call me by that term of endearment, nor would I ever insist on it. I did not foal you, therefore I did not earn it." My throat closed up. It wasn't supposed to go this way. Rarity took a step towards me. "Candy ... I'd like to think we ... we connected, at least a little. Maybe I assumed too much. I sometimes do that. Please tell me if this is so." I forced myself to take a breath. I could tell her that we failed to connect, but then I would be the liar. Lying had all but exhausted me. "No, Rarity, we did. I really did enjoy my time with you yesterday." "But I'm still sensing something is wrong." Everything was wrong! Why couldn't she see that?! "Candy, please tell me the truth," said Rarity in a pained voice. "Do you want me to foster you?" Stop asking me questions I didn't want to answer! "What difference does that make?" I snapped. "Somepony obviously doesn't!" "What are you ... oh ... the Town Hall." "Yes, the Town Hall!" I said in a mocking voice. "What about that?" "When I said I had that well in hoof, I meant it," Rarity said in a firm voice. "You need not worry about it." "But it means somepony doesn't want me here!" "Their opinion doesn't matter, not to me." "But I don't want to cause--" "Stop right there!" Rarity said, holding up a hoof. I fell silent, more out of shock at her forcefulness than anything else. "If this incident with the delay in my application is the only reason you wish to reject me as a fosterer, you are worrying yourself over nothing. I had told you that I tended not to claim special privilege for being an Element-bearer, but if it means overcoming this hurdle, I will claim it! And Twilight is a Princess of Equestria. She used her authority to take temporary custody of you, and she will use her authority again to help me if it is needed." I swallowed hard and trembled. Rarity's eyes glistened, and she said in a softer voice, "But if there is some other reason you don't want me, please ... say it. Don't give me false hope." I stared, my mouth slightly agape. False hope ... She made it sound like she really ... Goddammit. I didn't care what the real reasons were behind the legal challenge. It was my way out. The easy way. The way that let me avoid a real decision. I didn't have to hurt anypony. The blame would be on somepony else. What if I had given the pendant to Chrysalis the night before? Would I have been on Earth and back in my human body already? Would this all have been just a memory? But, no, I had been the coward. Again. "Not yet" was not a decision, just a delay. "I need to think" I had said, except I never do. Desperation compelled me to lump Rarity in with the rest. Far easier to label a group than deal with individuals. Yet the idea burned an ache into my heart I could not ignore. I wanted to answer so I didn't have to lie or hurt her in any way. I thought I had accomplished that when I finally replied in a very soft voice, "Not one you would find valid, anyway." Rarity contemplated me for a moment, her eyes glistening. She finally nodded slowly. "Would you do me a f-favor, Candy?" she said with a small, trembling smile. "Can you relieve Fluttershy of minding the store for a short while and send her back here? I, um, have an alteration of a dress of hers that I need to discuss." "Oh, um, sure," I said. "Just tell any new customers that I will be out sh-shortly." She had furnished an excuse for me to step away and let my emotions settle, or so it had appeared. If I had heard the catch in her voice, it had not registered. Or more likely, as I tended to do, I didn't want to hear it. I reported to the front of the store and informed Fluttershy of Rarity's request. She looked a bit confused, but gave me a subdued look and headed back. I took a deep breath. I felt I had handled that the best I could. I had not had an emotional breakdown, and I gave Rarity an answer that seemed to satisfy her without having to outright lie. Leaves rustled softly in a nearby tree through an open window. My steps clopped crisply against the floor behind the counter as I paced. My mother used to say that if you could hear your own footsteps in a store, the store was not busy enough. I wondered if that translated to hooves as well. A pegasus mare entered the store. One of my guards followed her in and took up position near the door. "Rarity will be out shortly," I said. She nodded and proceeded to browse through the designs on display. An earth mare arrived next, and I repeated the mantra. She simply paced slowly about. Imagery flashing before my mind's eye threatened to overcome reality, where my twelve year old self stood behind the counter of one of my mother's stores. My mother had asked me if I could see myself working in a place like this. I never really gave her a firm answer, as uncertain as my still childlike outlook had been. The same question now filled me with a sense of longing. Finally, I heard hooves behind me. "Ah, thank you, Candy," came Rarity's voice, now more steady. I turned and froze, my reply lost. Her eyes glistened, and her mascara had run a bit, a tiny amount that might go unnoticed on another pony, but for Rarity ... "Candy, it's getting late in the morning, and I appear to be getting busy," she said in a neutral voice, but it quavered slightly. "Fluttershy is willing to take you to the castle if you wish to return. That will give you time to freshen up before lunch." "Um, okay," I said. "Rarity, are you ...?" Before I could complete the question, she turned away and trotted over to a customer. Her lips quivered a few times before finally supporting a proper smile. I stared, dumbstruck. "Candy?" Fluttershy prompted. I turned my head. She gave me a sad look. "Um, did something just--?" "I think we better leave," Fluttershy said softly. "But--" "Please," she said in a low, urgent voice. I swallowed hard and nodded. I trotted out the door and struggled not to glance backwards in a silent, belated bid for forgiveness that I likely did not deserve. > Chapter 15 - Last Chances > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- My hooves dragged as I trotted back to the castle, and my head remained bowed, as if Fluttershy's silence weighed me down. The quiet finally became too oppressive to ignore, my stomach too twisted by the words which had fought to escape my lips since we had left the boutique. "I didn't mean to hurt her." "I know." I swallowed hard, and pain flared briefly from the dryness of my throat. Fluttershy had not hesitated in her response. Perfunctory or sincere? I couldn't tell. No matter what she had said, the sadness in her voice conveyed far more. "I don't hate her or anything like that." "I know." I clenched my teeth against the urge to rage at her. Could she not offer some other insight? Why was I even bothering, given what Chrysalis had said about her? Every action I took only reinforced the changeling queen's accusation: I was not one of them, and I did not belong. "I don't want to hurt anypony." "I know that, too." I stopped and demanded, "How do you know that?" Fluttershy turned towards me. "I'm sorry?" "You keep saying 'I know' to everything I've said! How do you know?" "It's just something I sense in you. I know you'd never intentionally hurt anypony." So maybe that was the answer: Fluttershy was indeed gullible. Why did I think that? Did acceptance of Chrysalis' words have to come at the expense of hurting others? All I wanted to do was escape to a better place, even if I were no longer sure how to define that. Escape to where? Home? I had initially escaped from there. Would shedding a piece of jewelry really mean a better life back there? Was it so bad to want to remove myself from a world that had never been intended for me, and to return something that really never belonged to me? Wouldn't that just fix things by putting them back the way they were? Once I was gone, these ponies would move on. I would move on. "Candy?" God, that voice and its simple and innocent concern. She might as well have been Michelle in pony form. All my attempts to deny the resemblance had crumbled to dust. "I'm fine," I said, averting my eyes. "No, you're not." I trembled. "You ... you really have no idea, Fluttershy. Seriously, you don't." "Then tell me." I let out a ragged breath. "I'm not a monster." Fluttershy uttered a tiny gasp. "Candy, I--" "I'm not. I just feel like sometimes I-I'm acting like one because I have to fix something that's terribly broken, and I don't know any other way to do it. And you have no idea what that feels like." "Yes, I do." My gaze snapped back to hers, and my mouth opened to deliver a retort. The words died before reaching my lips when I looked into her earnest and glistening eyes. "I really do," Fluttershy said with a small sigh. "I hurt ponies who were my friends. I didn't think I deserved them anymore after that. I even tried to lock myself away from them." My heart thumped. "But that wasn't the answer. Locking yourself away is never the answer. Despite how I hurt them, they still cared for me and helped me realize this." "A-and they forgave you?" I said in a tiny voice. "Yes. But more importantly, I forgave myself." I squeezed my eyes shut. "Candy, we all make mistakes," said Fluttershy. "Maybe that sounds trite, but it's true. I felt so bad when I hurt my friends. I was supposed to be an Element-bearer. I was supposed to be above such things. But it doesn't work that way." I had no reply. Conflicting emotions spun like whirlwinds in my head. Chrysalis' words, Fluttershy's words ... what was true anymore? I felt her wrap a foreleg around me. "Candy, I won't force you to reveal what's behind your pain. Just ... please promise me you won't lock yourself away from everypony else." That was a promise I could not make, but I made it anyway. I nodded and said in a barely audible, quavering voice, "I p-promise." Fluttershy pulled me into a hug, and for once I let myself believe that maybe I deserved it. I rushed off to my room upon returning to the castle long enough to shed a few of the tears I had repressed in Fluttershy's presence. Even then, my emotions still ran on a ragged edge, raw and hurting like a wound that refused to close. Yet I had no time or energy for such sentiment. I had to get through the rest of the day and somehow keep my head screwed on straight. The morning had forced upon me one clear thought, however: maybe Chrysalis had been wrong about a few things. I sat on my haunches on the bed. Aching body and heart compelled me to lean forward and rest my head on my folded fore-legs. I closed my eyes not to nap but to recapture that moment of clarity by replaying the meeting with Chrysalis before my mind's eye. She had called me a scared little not-pony. Had I been too emotionally overwrought to think logically? Had I let her words sway me too easily? Yet even viewed in light of the burning memory of Rarity's tears, they still enticed me. Maybe I needed to take a step back. My eyes snapped open at the sound of a knock at the door. "Miss Swirl?" said a male voice from the hall. "May I speak with you for a moment?" I raised my head. The voice sounded like it could be one of my guards. I trotted to the door and opened it, revealing an armored pegasus. He smiled and said, "Good day, Miss Swirl. Do you recognize me?" He did look familiar, but I was unsure enough that I shook my head. "My name is Strong Wing. I am one of the guards who was assigned to Queen Chrysalis last night when you met her on the balcony." "Oh, um, yes, I think I remember," I said. Vaguely, anyway. Neither of her guards had spoken during that incident. However, I did remember the name. Twilight had mentioned him at breakfast. Something about chasing down the changeling that had tried to get into the castle. "I would like to speak with you for a few moments, if that's okay?" asked Strong Wing. I glanced past him and saw my own guards standing vigil as they always did, taking no exception to this pegasus' presence. "Um, sure, I guess so." "May I come in?" I nodded and stood aside. He stepped into the room, and I closed the door behind him. "Is something wrong?" "Well, Miss Swirl, I wanted to apologize." "Er ... come again?" "For last night. For allowing Queen Chrysalis to upset you." "Oh, um ..." "Even though neither myself nor my fellow guards could hear what was being said, it was clear you were upset. Perhaps we should have been more adamant in our objections to leaving you alone with her." In retrospect, I was surprised they had acquiesced to my request. Maybe it would have been better had they not. Either way, it was hardly his fault. I didn't need yet another pony suffering in some way because of me. "It's fine. I'm okay." "At the very least, Miss Swirl, I could have warned you about her nature." I tilted my head. "Her nature?" Strong Wing nodded, and I blinked as I ... ~~~ ... have no breath with which to scream. The horn jutting from the head of this horrid monster erupts in sickly green light which strikes my eyes. My already tortured mind offers little resistance ... ~~~ ... caught a flicker of ... Reality slowed, blurred, and re-coalesced. "Queen Chrysalis tends to be a bit abrasive," said Strong Wing. "Perhaps a bit pushy and overbearing, and maybe engages in some hyperbole, but she usually has a very good point buried in her rhetoric." Whatever had momentarily distracted me was gone, perhaps a figment of my emotional exhaustion. My initial protest vanished from my head, but I narrowed my eyes slightly and demanded, "How do you know this?" "It's my duty to understand those whom I protect," said Strong Wing. "Or in this case, from whom I need to protect others. That's what I uncovered in my research about her." I paused a long moment, my thoughts struggling like a swimmer against the tide. "But ... wh-why tell me this?" Strong Wing smiled. "Just common courtesy, Miss Swirl. I would not want you to be put off by Queen Chrysalis' tone when her message could very well be of significant import to you." When my mind had finally lurched back into gear, his words made some sense. Had I not just been thinking I needed to take a step back? Perhaps I had simply let Chrysalis' bombast threaten to obscure the message. I needed a way out, and I needed to give up the pendant; nothing had changed that. Chrysalis could still give me what-- Pain again flared behind my temples, and I rubbed a hoof against the side of my head. My heart raced suddenly, and the memory ... no, figment ... of green light flitted across my mental landscape. Slowly, I nodded. "Thank you, I appreciate you thinking of me. I have to admit, she did intimidate me a bit." Strong Wing chuckled. "Yes, she does tend to do that. Princess Celestia can seem a little intimidating sometimes as well, but she simply has a more easy-going conversational style than Queen Chrysalis." I smiled slightly. "That is very true." "There is one last thing. Queen Chrysalis asked me to convey a message to you. She would be pleased if you were to grace the summit this afternoon with your presence." My heart lurched. "But I thought she said she would give me a whole--!" I clamped my mouth shut. "What shall I tell her, Miss Swirl?" The headache was slow to abate, and my heart still pounded. I hated making a decision in this state, but what choice did I have? "Miss Swirl?" Strong Wing prompted. I sighed and lowered my hoof. "Tell her ... t-tell her I'll be there." Strong Wing smiled and nodded. "She will be happy to hear that. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me, Miss Swirl." He started for the door. "I am glad I was able to help." I simply nodded. "I'll let myself out. Take care." The door opened and closed, and he was gone. Strong Wing's timely visit could help me focus better if I took his words to heart. That same heart still ached from how I had hurt Rarity, and how I had troubled Fluttershy, but all I had to do to lessen the sting was accept the guard's words. And yet ... Chrysalis had forced a deadline upon me. Perhaps that was for the best. The sooner I could remove myself from Equestria, the sooner I could stop hurting others and-- The sickly green glow permeated my thoughts again. My surroundings shimmered, as if incorporeal. Images flickered into brief coherence, only to escape discernment when I turned my mind's eye towards them. Until reality had recrystallized a moment later, I saw Michelle's apartment like in my-- I shook my head violently. The distractions needed to stop. I had a path forward, and I needed to follow it. I just wished my head would stop hurting. Not long after did I have another visitor. The relief which swept over me upon seeing Spike dissipated when Twilight stepped into view as well. "Heya, Candy!" Spike called out, smiling. "Hello, Candy," Twilight said in a more subdued voice, though the tiny smile that graced her muzzle seemed sincere. "Um, hi," I said. I looked down at Spike. "Is it time for the tour you promised me?" "Not quite," he said. "It's getting close to lunch, so there's not quite enough time for that, but there is just enough time for Twilight to take another look at your pendant." "Oh." "Then we can have lunch, and then I can take you on the tour!" I should have expected this. Spike was Twilight's assistant, so naturally he had to defer to her wishes. "This will not take long at all," said Twilight. "You can stay in the lab just like you did before. Feel free to ask me whatever you want about the process. You won't distract me, I can multitask well." My heart thumped. Twilight might finally take my pendant away. Sure, one problem solved, but then I was still stuck in Equestria with these ponies knowing that I was an alien thanks to Chrysalis' threats. Threats. Yes, Chrysalis had threatened me. Why did I not think that was significant? Well ... like Strong Wing had said ... all part of her abrasiveness ... but she had tried to bully me into ... no, I had to stop getting distracted! My head twinged briefly again. "If you do this for Twilight, I'll give you extra daffodils again with lunch!" said Spike. "Again, Spike?" Twilight said with a small smirk. "Ack! Not a second bribe! First bribe I ever gave her, I swear!" I wished I didn't like Spike so much. "All right, I'll do it." Twilight's smile became more natural. "Then just follow me." "See ya in the dining hall afterward," Spike called out, waving as he left. We proceeded into her lab in silence. It appeared more or less as it had before, save for the missing cushion on the floor. As soon as she had magicked the door closed behind us, however, she levitated a cushion into place, this time closer to the pedestal. "If you would be so kind as to place your pendant here, please, Candy," Twilight said, nodding her head towards the pedestal. I took a deep breath and did as she requested before sitting on the cushion. Twilight lighted her horn. "So what I am attempting to do is check for lingering thaumic resonances that may tell me where in Equestria this was created. The magic field which permeates this world varies in power and texture depending on location, and the structure of the ley lines ..." I let it all slide over my head. The technical details no longer mattered. As I watched her weave her spells, my thoughts reiterated Chrysalis' words: the Princess of Magic? An alicorn? Unable to perform such a simple magical feat? "Twilight?" I asked. "Mmm?" Twilight murmured as she levitated a piece of paper and quill into view. "Is this fairly complex magic you're doing?" Twilight scratched a note onto the paper. "Yes, actually. Trying to tease details like these out of the more overwhelming magical aura of the object is always a challenge." I nodded slowly. My tail twitched. "But do you think you can do it?" Her eyes narrowed on the pendant, the glow of her horn brightening as she jotted down another note. "I do believe I can, yes." "So ... what about ... what about the binding magic?" Twilight paused and turned her head towards me. "Come again?" "The binding magic," I said a bit more forcefully. "That's complex, too, right?" "Well, yes, but--" "So I thought maybe you should be able to do that, too." Twilight put down the paper and quill. "Candy, is there something else you want to ask me?" What was prompting me to do this? Was I trying to make Twilight suspect I knew the truth? Or at least the truth as Chrysalis had presented it? "Um ... no, not really." "I think there is." I tensed for a moment. "All right, fine. Why can't you break the binding magic yourself on the pendant?" "I told you, it would take a great deal of research and--" "Yet you can cast the spells you're doing now like it's nothing!" "We're talking about two different things." "But you're the Princess of Magic! Aren't you powerful enough to do it?" Twilight sighed. "I am not all-powerful. There are limits on what I can do. Everypony has limits." "Even Princess Celestia?" "Even her, yes." "But she can move the sun!" I cried. "She can't do this?!" Twilight trotted over to me. "Candy, what prompted this?" I swallowed. "N-nothing, I just ..." "Did somepony tell you I should be able to do this? Or that Princess Celestia could?" "No," I snapped. "Are you su--?" "Yes, I'm sure!" Twilight paused before she said in a soft voice, "Is there something you want to talk to me about?" God, I was so fucking tired of hearing that question, or any number of its sickening variants. My pent up frustration and pain would surely explode if I tried to answer her. I refused to hurt anypony else before I could remove myself as their problem. Twilight sat down next to me. "Candy, you need to understand, we're all here to help you." I trembled and looked away. "We all want to be your friends." My ears flattened against my head. "Have you at least given Rarity and Fluttershy a chance?" I sighed. "Is that what they were summoned to do?" Twilight paused. "Summoned?" "Y-you heard what I said," I said in a quavering voice. "Were they summoned to do this by some ... s-some magical device?" Twilight sighed. "You saw the Cutie Map." "You mean that thing in the council room?" I said softly, but with a slight acid edge to my voice. "Yes." "You're completely misinterpreting the situation." I turned my head towards her. "How? Are you saying they weren't chosen somehow?" "Yes, they were, but that doesn't make their feelings any less genuine towards you." I just stared at her. "It could have chosen any of us, and we all would have done the same for you," said Twilight. "And we're still all willing to help, even those of us who have not been chosen. You're not just some task to be completed, or a problem to be solved, Candy. Even when the Map decides Rarity and Fluttershy need to do something else, they're not going to simply wash their hooves of you. The Map is a catalyst for friendship, not a match-maker of the moment. Which also means it can't do everything. You have to be willing." It all came back to me again. I had to take the next step. I had to bridge the gap. Chrysalis had said they were all lying to me. Strong Wing said Chrysalis could go overboard. What of Chrysalis' words was I supposed to believe? Just the part about giving up the pendant? Or of going home? Or of not fitting in? Did Twilight just blow her chance to help me with the pendant? She had to have that much power, either her or Celestia! This was a stupid fairy-tale world where magic solved everything! Or maybe friendship solved everything. Or maybe next they'll tell me something even more insane, that friendship is magic here. Or Chrysalis was wrong ... I closed my eyes, hoping for clarity again, but all that came to me was Rarity in the boutique, emotionally wounded from my rejection of her, and the concerned face of Fluttershy uttering those words that still echoed in my head: locking yourself away is never the answer. Memory flickered in harsh clarity: the weeks after my mother's death and railing at how unfair and cruel it had been; the long weeks after Michelle's death and my endless self-recrimination at how I should have seen it, and the barely healing wounds of my mother's death reopened; my arrival in a strange land in an even stranger body knowing nothing of what to say or do. None of it had ever sent me into such depths of emotional turmoil. My psyche felt like it had been split, and the two sides played against each other. I felt Twilight's hoof on my shoulder. "Maybe we should do this another day," she said softly. "I'm sorry I was so insistent." I opened my eyes and blinked away tears. I nodded, my throat too tight for words. I rose and took the pendant back, letting the clasp close itself. It had paused, as if even it were reluctant now, sensing I had rejected it. "Do you need me to tell Spike you can't--" "No," I rasped. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "I ... I still want to have lunch with him and go on that tour. I could use the distraction." Twilight nodded and stood. "The summit is not until three. If you need to talk to me, come find me. I'll be in the main hall preparing for the summit." "Thank you," I said softly. I thought I would need time alone to calm down, but the sight of Spike and his cheery disposition lightened my heart enough to keep the emotional tide at bay. I actually managed a small smile as he slid the tray before me, reminding me of the island of calm that lunch had been the day before amidst the ocean of turmoil and confusion. The generous application of daffodils to my tray also helped. He hopped into a chair opposite me, a tray of precious stones before him. "So how'd it go with Twilight? She find anything about the pendant?" His tone and casual stance betrayed no indication he even suspected my near emotional breakdown. "It didn't go quite as well as it could have, no," I said in a soft voice. "Aw, that's too bad. She was hoping to confirm that theory of hers." I wondered if I might be able to wheedle out of him the bits of Twilight's theory that she wouldn't tell me, but I didn't need any more guilt. "She thought we could try again another time." "She'll figure it out," said Spike with a smile as he popped a gem into his mouth. "She's a smart pony. Like you." "Like ... um ... I'm not terribly smart, trust me." "Aw, sure you are!" "I really don't feel like it." Spike waved a claw. "Eh, knowing lots of stuff is not the same." I paused. "I beg your pardon?" "Er ... what I mean is ... you can be smart, but not know a lot of facts. Ah, I don't mean you don't know a lot of facts, just that ... some ponies don't!" I considered for a moment, chewing slowly on a piece of asparagus. "Well, I guess maybe I don't know as many things as most ponies. I was on my own for awhile, and I wasn't exactly going to school during that time." "So, there, see?" said Spike. "Hardly your fault." That was debatable. I did stay in school during my time following my mother's death, but my head was not there. A's and B's had fallen to D's and F's in the space of a single semester. After Michelle's death, education ceased to be a priority. "Um, so," Spike said cautiously. "If I happen to mention anything you don't get, you can just ask me, okay?" But why should I spoil it now? I needed to maintain the illusion for only a little longer. Then it simply wouldn't matter anymore. If I went through with it. I smiled faintly at Spike. "It's okay. Sometimes I just like to listen and not have to think all that much. That's all." "Hey, no problem! Anyway, it would be a good idea to get lunch out of the way so we have time for that tour. You, um, still want to do that, right?" "I do," I said. "I'm looking forward to it." I wanted to go home. I didn't want to hurt anypony. I wanted to rid myself of the pendant. No matter what I did, I couldn't have it all, even if I followed Chrysalis to the ends of Equestria. My thoughts ran in tumultuous circles, going nowhere useful, and I had no idea why. The summit hurtled at me from the rapidly closing window of time, robbing me of any further options. Spike had hinted at breakfast that he wanted to take me somewhere. I had assumed it had to do with Chrysalis, but that theory was dead once Strong Wing conveyed the changeling queen's wishes to me. Maybe this would be what I needed to help clear my head and make the path obvious. It had to be. It was my last chance. > Chapter 16 - Education > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spike threw the doors open with a flourish. "And this is the library!" I refrained from mentioning that I had already seen this, but I had never really gone inside. I hesitated a moment before stepping across the threshold. Spike had mentioned this served as Twilight's second home; I felt a bit like I was trespassing on a private residence. "This has nowhere near the number of books as the Golden Oak Library had," said Spike as he walked ahead. "But Twilight's on her way to filling it up." I lifted my head. Shelves stretched upwards, far more than I could reach with my hooves. A tall ladder on wheels was attached to the shelves, but the rungs appeared spaced for Spike's feet rather than pony hooves. "And the best thing of all," said Spike with a smile. "Is you can use it, and no one will bother you." "Oh, um ... what?" "You can stay here if you like, and look up anything you want. Absolutely anything." My eyes darted over the shelves. My heart skipped a beat. Wasn't this what I had wanted the other night, a trip to the library to try to understand this world better? Yet as I swept my gaze across the titles, I had no idea where to start. I could spend hours or even days in here and barely scratch the surface of what I needed to know. "Um ... well ... what about the rest of the tour?" "This is the last stop," Spike declared. "I saved the best for last!" The best? Better than the Cutie Map that helped determine destinies of friendship and had prompted Rarity into trying to foster me? Dammit. All this knowledge at my hooves, but no better than if I had been dying of thirst and thrown into the middle of the ocean. But ... no, I had wanted to know only a single term: Element-bearer. Yet I faced the same problem. Where do I look? What subject was it under? History? Politics? Magic? Myth? Fashion? "Do you need help?" said Spike. I blinked and looked down. "Huh?" Spike stepped up to me. "Would you like to read about something specific? Twilight's filing system is, um, a little arcane." Maybe this was useless after all. What could knowledge of that term possibly matter now? What relevance did it have to my situation? Why go through the bother when I had a path forward? Chrysalis had given me all the information I needed. She gave me a time and a place. She had given me a way out. An escape. Another escape. I burned with a need to know regardless. Maybe I would understand Rarity better, if nothing else. I owed her that much for how terribly I had hurt her. Maybe Chrysalis was right about everypony else, but I had to ease my conscience at least that much before I left. And again, I faced the same dilemma that plagued my quest for knowledge since I had arrived: I assumed everypony knew this already. I had to admit my ignorance. I had to take a risk. I had to stop being a coward. "Candy?" "E-Element-bearer," I said in a quavering voice. "I ... I want to read about that." Spike rubbed his chin as he stepped towards the ladder. "Hmm ... let's see ... Twilight had to nudge the magical publishers up in Canterlot to update their texts on that sort of thing. Not exactly just legend anymore, you know?" I simply nodded, my heart pounding. "Ah, I've got it!" Spike clambered up the ladder. He braced his left foot against a shelf and pushed, rolling his ladder to the right. He closed a claw around a thick book and pulled it out, holding it aloft. "This should do." He waited. "Um, Spike?" I said. "Oops!" Spike said, blushing. "Sorry, kinda forgot you're still having magic problems." He slid down the ladder. He brought the book over to a table and set it down. I trotted over. The title read: Compendium of Equestrian Arcana - Second Edition. "That oughta do it," said Spike. "Thank you," I said in a barely audible voice, still staring at the book. Spike started to walk away. "Sooo, I'll just leave you to it, and I'll close the doors so you're not disturbed." I climbed onto the seat before the book, turning my head towards the doors. I watched as they swung closed, leaving me alone. I took a deep breath, lifted my hooves, and opened the book. I flipped through it until I came to the proper entry, except ... Element-Bearer - See Elements of Harmony A few more page flips, and I was at the entry. I started to read ... Elements of Harmony The Elements of Harmony are a set of six magical artifacts in the form of precious gemstones. They are the arcane embodiment of Harmony, the powerful magic which, in part, keeps Equestria in balance and promotes friendship and good will throughout its lands. Five of the gems represent the five Foundations of Harmony, namely Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, and Laughter. The sixth gem, Magic, is the means by which the other five are bound together and activated. The Elements of Harmony originated from the Tree of Harmony. They were first retrieved from the Tree by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna during the First Reign of Discord. They subsequently utilized the tremendous power of the Elements to defeat Discord by encasing him in stone. I paused. These things had the power to turn living things to stone. Obviously it had not killed Discord or imprisoned him forever, or I wouldn't be here reading about it. If this had been Earth, this would have made a good legend, but in this world, stuff like this was real. They actually existed. My heart thumped so hard my chest ached. I read on ... After Discord's defeat, the Elements were housed in a special room in the Everfree Castle (also called The Castle of the Two Sisters). They sat largely unused until the unfortunate circumstances leading to Princess Luna's transformation into Nightmare Moon, and her attempt to impose eternal night upon Equestria. Princess Luna did what now? So the creature which infested my dreams since I had arrived had been some sort of monster? Was this another valid reason for Chrysalis to oppose the alicorns? Should I trust anything Luna had ever said to me in-- No, stop. I couldn't let myself be distracted. Princess Luna's past actions bore no relevance to me in the present. And ... Chrysalis had her say. I had to hear the other side. Both Rarity and Fluttershy were Element-bearers; I had to know what that meant and who they really were. I swallowed hard and read on ... When Princess Luna failed to listen to reason, her sister Princess Celestia was forced to utilize the Elements against her, resulting in Princess Luna's banishment to the moon for the following one thousand years. During Princess Luna's banishment, knowledge of the Elements faded from the public eye and became known more as myth or legend rather than magical fact. Modern mages speculate it was during this time that Princess Celestia lost her connection to the Elements, but this is by no means certain. Upon her return from banishment, Princess Luna, still in the form of Nightmare Moon, again attempted to impose eternal night upon Equestria during the Summer Sun Celebration. The Elements then fell to individual ponies to bear them (hence the term Element-bearer), each of which was believed to best embody the Element which chose them. The individual Element-bearers were: Applejack - Element of Honesty "Wh-what??" I croaked softly, staring. No, this ... they couldn't be ... Fluttershy - Element of Kindness Rarity - Element of Generosity Oh, dear God. No, somehow, I knew. The moment I turned to this page and read what the Elements were, I knew. Maybe if I had read this before I had come to know them, I would have taken it with a grain of salt, but I had experienced Fluttershy's kindness and Rarity's generosity personally. And I had stupidly tried to reject it. I wiped my eyes and continued ... Rainbow Dash - Element of Loyalty Pinkamena Diane ("Pinkie") Pie - Element of Laughter Twilight Sparkle - Element of Magic Twilight had been sent to Ponyville to find the new Element-bearers without knowing the true nature of her mission. She nevertheless successfully found and helped unite those who came to embody the Elements of Harmony. She herself provided the spark of Magic via her friendship with the others to not only reconstitute the Elements after having been smashed by Nightmare Moon, but activate the Elements and utilize their combined power to defeat Nightmare Moon and begin the process of reforming Princess Luna. This began the period when the Elements of Harmony were represented as jewelry, specifically necklaces for the five Foundations, and a tiara for Magic, the gemstones shaped like the corresponding bearer's cutie mark. Later, the six Element-bearers were again called upon to defend Equestria, this time from the threat posed by Discord, who had escaped from his stone prison. They subsequently ended the Second Reign of Discord -- shorter by far than the First Reign -- by once again encasing him in stone. However, they later utilized the Elements to release Discord so that he may be reformed, a task which fell to Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness. Eventually, the Elements were returned from whence they came, as their prolonged absence had weakened ... The words blurred into a watery mess as faint splashes dotted the parchment. I shoved the book forward and dropped my face into my hooves. My sides shuddered as I sobbed. I couldn't have just accepted their friendship at face value. No, I had to find out they were the goddamn living embodiment of virtue, that they were saviors of this world several times over. Only then did I dare to believe it. Yet Chrysalis' words still whispered insidiously in the back of my mind to lure me away from this revelation, to disregard it as more lies. What the hell was wrong with me? Was I so horribly broken I couldn't let myself feel anything other than suspicion and fear? I still wanted to reject what I had read and retreat from their friendship. I still wanted to escape, to give up the pendant, to run away. What had Chrysalis done to me?! I laid my head on my crossed forelegs, tears spilling onto the table. No, I couldn't blame her, not completely. She had messed with my head somehow during our meeting despite all the supposed safeguards against it, but I had already messed with my own head aplenty. I had done most of the work for her, long before I ever came to Equestria. I had believed that I didn't want or need friends, but that was never it. I believed I didn't deserve friends. I sniffled and drew my head up. I wiped my eyes with trembling hooves. I had to fight not only Chrysalis' influence, but my own weakness. I could not tell where one ended and the other began. I had let my emotions descend to a level of chaos that would make Discord proud. I took a deep breath to steady myself and climbed off the chair. My legs wobbled a bit. My body ached almost as much as my heart, and my thoughts were thick and sluggish from nothing that had to do with Chrysalis or her infernal influence over me. I shivered, my blood running cold at the idea of not just having had my mind messed with, but knowing it had been and still feeling like I could do little against it. And yet, was I not fighting it now? Why would I be entertaining these notions if I had not managed to carve out some corner of my my mind free of the changeling queen's seductive words? Yet Strong Wing's words to me in my room-- I winced. Pain had again flared in my head, there and gone in a matter of seconds. Vague images of black shapes and green light flitted through my mind. I saw the apartment again. I felt a dam about to burst, but would the resulting flood clear my head or just drown me in more uncertainties and half-truths? I stepped out of the library. "Dining hall," I said in a listless voice to my guards. "Candy? Are you all right?" said Spike. I sighed and closed my eyes, holding my head in my hooves as I sat at the table alone. I closed my eyes and resisted the urge to lash out at what had to be the most annoying and loaded question ever conceived. How many times had that same insipid question been asked in the wake of my mother's death? I lowered my hooves to the cup of tea Spike had brought to me earlier before I had even asked. I had almost broken down into tears all over again at the simple act of kindness. "I'm not," I said in a soft voice. I lifted the cup and took a sip. "But there's nothing you can do about it." "Oh. Well ... do you want some company?" "Not right now, Spike, but thank you." "Um, okay. Well, if you want me, just call." After a pause, I heard his footfalls slowly retreat. I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh. Yes, very good: keep up the perfect record of pushing friends away. Seriously, there could not possibly be a more incompatible world for me than one based on harmony and friendship. I closed my eyes and dipped my head at the sound of approaching hooves. "May I join you, Candy Swirl?" My head snapped up and turned. I swallowed hard as my eyes beheld Princess Luna standing in the doorway. Despite the soft and almost tired smile on her muzzle, my heart leapt into my throat, and I scrambled to get off the chair to bow properly. Luna lifted a hoof. "Please, stay where you are." She trotted into the room and yawned. "I'm not at all formal this early in the day." I nodded, not daring to trust my voice. My heart skipped a beat when she sat next to me. Spike came rushing in. After a short bow, he said, "Up early for the summit, Princess?" "All too early, Spike," said Luna with a small smile. "Anything I can get you?" "Just a cup of coffee, please." "W-wait, did you just say coffee?" I blurted. "You have that here?" "Well, it is the Princess' special blend that she sent down from Canterlot," Spike said. "Oh," I said, my cheeks burning. Luna smiled. "I would be quite pleased to share some with you, Candy. Spike, two cups, if you would." "Coming right up!" Spike said. "How do you take yours, Candy?" "Black," I said. "No sugar." Spike nodded and scampered away. "Thank you," I said softly to Luna. "Coffee is not a beverage of choice in Ponyville, it would seem," said Luna. "I understand it once was, but apparently that ceased due to some incident involving Pinkie Pie. I know no more detail than that." I smiled faintly. I had been right. Chalk one up for me for actually understanding something about this world. More so, it seemed, than I understood myself. "I was told you have been living in the castle for a few days now," said Luna. "I hope you have found the experience enjoyable despite the events surrounding your pendant." After a long pause, I lifted a hoof and placed it gently over the gleaming gold instrument of my failure across two worlds. Or was I being too hard on myself? So much grief I could have avoided had I chosen not to cling to my story of amnesia. "Maybe 'enjoyable' is not quite the right word." "Oh? What would be more appropriate?" I considered for a long moment, my thoughts still worming their way around half-truths and Chrysalis' bombast. "Enlightening," I said in a low voice. Spike emerged from the kitchen. My drooping ears perked up a bit as the wonderful aroma tickled my nose. I pushed the tea aside as he slid the steaming mug before me. I stared down, watching the black liquid ripple slightly before closing my hooves around it and lifting it to my muzzle. The small sip of what should be a familiar beverage still offered more surprises like everything else in this world. Subtle, unexpected nuances of flavor played over my tongue, and whether that was from equine senses or a fundamental difference in the coffee blend was irrelevant, because it was still coffee. I still enjoyed it, like many other experiences I had in Equestria. Why had I lost sight of that? How had I so diminished those experiences to the point of hurting ponies who only wanted to be my friend? Luna took a sip of her own coffee, levitating the mug with her magic. "If I may ask, what sort of enlightenment did you come to?" "That's a hard question to answer, Princess." Luna looked thoughtful. "Then perhaps I should rephrase. Is there anything in particular you learned that stood out from the rest?" "Yes ... I ... I don't know myself as well as I thought I did." Luna nodded once. "That is a rather profound thing to learn about oneself." "I d-don't know who or what I'm supposed to be." "Interesting." I swallowed hard. The words from the book flowed through my head. I had never seen the Elements of Harmony in action, but I could almost picture it anyway. "P-Princess ... I ... did ... did it hurt?" Luna paused. "I'm sorry?" "The Elements of Harmony. When Twilight a-and her friends used them against you. Did it hurt?" Luna slowly lowered her mug to the table. "Now that, my dear Candy Swirl, is a most intriguing question," she said in a soft voice. "One that I don't believe has ever been asked of me before." I sighed. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer if it ..." "It is a perfectly valid question, and one deserving of an answer. And the simple answer is ... yes. But nothing of this sort is ever simple." "Nopony is no more aware of that than I am, Princess," I said in a quavering voice. "Then perhaps you already understand that sometimes pain is necessary." I remained silent and sipped my coffee. "I made a mistake," said Luna. "I made a bad choice. I falsely believed it to be my only choice. No amount of talking, or of reasoning, or of debate would deter me." I lowered my mug and stared at her. "But what drove you? Why did you do it?" "I was driven by an emotional pain of my own creation which I refused to admit to those who would have listened, who would have helped." "But you just said pain is necessary ... I-I don't understand." "And that is where the answer is no longer simple," said Luna. "Pain can drive us to do things that normally we would never consider, Candy, and to take a path that, ideally, we would rightfully shun. Yet to turn from that path, no matter how dark it is, no matter how wrong it feels in our hearts, means we must admit our failings. We must admit we were wrong. That is never without pain." My throat threatened to close up. I took a deep breath. "Princess, were you ever subjected to any ... to any sort of influence?" "Influence?" "Somepony wh-who told you what you wanted to hear," I said in a shaky voice. "Who played to your weakness. Who said they could take away all the pain if you just did what they said." Luna was quiet for a long moment. "No, there was no such outside influence. I started down my dark path through my own faults. But had there been one such as you describe, in my vulnerable state before my transformation into Nightmare Moon, I would surely have listened. Eagerly. I sincerely doubt either myself or Equestria would have been better for it." I stared down into my mug and blinked back renewed tears. I heard a gentle rustle, and something soft had draped itself around me. My head rose, and I trembled as I realized it was her wing. She turned her soft gaze towards me and said, "And a pony who has been subjected to such influence and yet still questions, still seeks her own answers, still wonders if she is on the right path, is one of a strength of character I cannot help but admire." Tears trickled down my face. "I don't feel like I'm s-somepony to admire. I did everything wrong! I didn't trust the ponies would could've helped me! I couldn't get out from under my past! ... Or my fear ..." "And, yet, you came to this realization yourself," said Luna. She slowly smiled. "And you didn't need the Elements of Harmony used upon you." I uttered a shaky laugh. "In a way, they were. That may sound crazy, but ..." Luna drew her wing in and pulled me towards her. "However you received your enlightenment is not as important as its effect on you." I trembled with the desire to give up all my anguish, to bury my face in her soft fur and cry my eyes out. Yet that would only be giving in to the pain and letting it continue to rule my actions. I could express my pent-up grief later. Any descent into emotionalism would give Chrysalis' influence more reign. Her offer still enticed me as a way to distill all my pain into a simple piece of jewelry that I could so easily shed. I could not wait any longer. My new-found courage hung by a single thread. "P-Princess," I murmured. "I-I need to tell you something about me. I-I'm not--" Galloping hoof-beats approached from the hallway, drowning out my soft-spoken words. I drew myself from Luna's wing embrace as she turned her head towards the entrance. "Sister, what is it?" I jerked my head around. Princess Celestia stood in the doorway, a frown creasing her muzzle. "We must make haste for the meeting hall, Luna." Luna frowned and glanced at the clock. "It is still a full fifteen minutes before the scheduled start of the summit, Tia." "Yes, but Queen Chrysalis has already arrived and is demanding the summit start now." My heart leapt into my throat. I flinched hard when Luna clopped a fore-hoof on the table. "Does she truly wish to engage me before I have been sufficiently caffeinated?! Can we not tell her to cool her hooves until we are ready?" "Normally, I would agree, sister, but Queen Chrysalis has been browbeating Twilight, and I suspect she is reaching the breaking point." Luna sighed. "I had thought something more was amiss with Twilight than mere nerves over preparations for the summit. Perhaps we should call upon her friends to--" "They are already here," said Celestia. I stopped breathing for a moment. Luna raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? As much as I hate to sound harsh, they have more sense than Twilight has been exhibiting lately." She slid off her chair. "I will be there shortly." Celestia left, and I let go the breath I only realized then I had been holding. "W-wait, Princess Luna, please, I need to tell you something!" "I am sorry, Candy, but I need to get to the summit." I jumped down from the chair. "But--!" "You can tell me later. I--" "Chrysalis wants me to give her the pendant!" Princess Luna stepped up to me. "I know." My eyes widened. "You know?! And ... a-and you didn't say anything?! You didn't warn anypony?!" "You have a decision to make, Candy Swirl." I stared, my mouth open. "The magic of your pendant is such that nopony can make it for you." "But ... sh-she wants me at the summit ..." I said in a weak and helpless voice. "Then I will be seeing you quite soon." Luna touched the tip of a wing to my shoulder. "Faith in your friends is always important, Candy, but not as important as faith in yourself." I tried to speak, but no words would come to me. Princess Luna withdrew her wing, smiled, and rushed out of the room. I fell back onto my haunches, my heart thundering, and fought to hold onto that tiny thread of courage for just a little longer. > Chapter 17 - A Decision Made > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Um, Candy, are you really sure you want to go there?" I swallowed hard. "Y-yes, Spike, I am. Please, take me to the meeting hall." "Well, okay," Spike said as he walked on ahead. "I hope you know what you're doing." I trotted an unsteady path, as if my hooves were as ungainly as they had been that first day. I took several deep breaths to steady myself. Spike gave me a concerned look over his shoulder. Was he just worried over my well-being, or did he think I was flat-out crazy? We turned down a corridor, and my breath caught. Ahead were two tall doors, standing open, a guard on either side. I flinched when I heard Chrysalis' silky voice from the hall beyond, "Oh, but we were having such an interesting conversation, dear Twilight." "Candy?" Spike said in a soft voice. "You okay?" Only then did I realize I had stopped. "That discussion is over!" Twilight snapped. I stared through the open doors. The diarchs and Twilight stood to the right, while Chrysalis stood to the left. My heart leapt into my throat. "Over?" said Chrysalis with a chuckle. "Just when it was getting interesting? When you obviously have so much more you wanted to say about it?" I squeezed my eyes shut. Chrysalis' enticing words from our meeting pounded against the inside of my skull: just give up the pendant, and all the pain will be gone. An ache flooded my head again as the raging waters gathered behind the dam, just as they had while I read about the Elements of Harmony. Spike laid a claw gently against my fore-leg. "Are you sure you--" "Spike, you can leave now," I said. "I have to take it from here." "How can I make this any more clear?" Twilight cried. "The wedding is in the past! I don't want or need to talk about it anymore!" Spike glanced towards the doors and sighed. "All right. I'll be in the dining hall if you need me." I nodded without tearing my gaze from the scene ahead. "Oh, but you're the Princess of Friendship," said Chrysalis in a mocking voice. "Do you not always want to talk out these sort of things? Am I not worthy of that consideration?" I flinched as I heard Applejack's voice. "Personally, I think yer jus' tryin' to get a rise outta her." I remembered how I believed she could read my intentions even before I knew the Element she represented. She knew I was hiding something. And now ... did she think Chrysalis was hiding something as well? I clung to that thought to bolster my courage. "Applejack!" Twilight hissed. "I thought I had told you all that I would do the talking?" Why was Twilight angry with her? I thought they were all friends, that they were on the same side. Had Chrysalis been right after all about ... No. Fluttershy had said it didn't work that way. They were not perfect. I could not expect them to be perfect. Princess Celestia stepped forward. "With all due respect, Queen Chrysalis, it was you who insisted the summit start early, and now you appear intent on further delay yourself." Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. "Everypony is not yet present." Celestia stepped back just enough for Luna's gaze to find me. My mouth dropped open when she nodded slightly. Running away ceased forever to be an option. I willed my hooves to pull me forward. "What are you talking about?" Twilight cried. "All three Princesses are here. You're here. Who else could possibly--?" Two spears suddenly crossed before me just as I reached the threshold. My chest brushed against the shafts of their weapons before I could stop suddenly, the sharp clop of my hooves announcing my presence scant seconds before a guard shouted, "Halt!" Twilight turned her head. "Candy? What are you doing here?" My gaze shifted to the right, and my voice refused to work. The other ponies -- the Element-bearers, the ones who wanted to be my friends -- stood off to the side, their eyes upon me. I wanted to cringe as I met Rarity's gaze, convinced that I would still see the hurt I caused her. Instead, her eyes betrayed both confusion and concern. Fluttershy appeared surprised but even more deeply worried. "Let her in," demanded Chrysalis. "What??" said Twilight. "Admit her! I invited her." Applejack frowned. "I don't like this." Twilight glanced at me, wide-eyed, then turned towards Celestia and Luna. "This is your decision, Twilight," said Celestia. "You are in charge of this summit." "Indeed," said Luna. "Though it is not at all a mystery as to why Candy has been summoned." "I will remind you it is within my rights to call upon anypony I wish as an advocate," said Chrysalis. "You cannot refuse me." Her lips curled into a sly smile. "Unless dear Princess Twilight wishes to concede that my earlier allegations concerning her feelings are true." Advocate? Yes, of course. She was sure I would give up the pendant. Her argument had been very convincing and remained such. Her words still played to all my vulnerabilities and needs, at least what I thought I needed. Shining Armor stepped forward, and my heart skipped a beat when his gaze met mine with a suspicion that far outweighed anything he had heaped upon me in the library. He marched up to Twilight. "Twiley, you can't let her in, not after what I told you earlier." "This is non-negotiable!" Chrysalis thundered. Shining whirled around and faced Chrysalis. "We know all about your meeting with Candy last night!" I stumbled back as if struck. They knew? That explained Twilight's attitude towards me that morning. I was stupid to think the guards would not make a full report. Strong Wing had said they couldn't hear us, but why hadn't Twilight said anything? Was she content to string me along and let me fret over this? She couldn't intervene and take the burden of this decision away from me? Or was it truly as Luna had said, that only I could make this decision? I risked another glance at the others. Rarity's eyes still shimmered with deep concern and worry, Fluttershy's even more so. Twilight took a slow breath and said, "Let her in." Shining sighed. "Very well." He turned towards the entrance. "Guards, admit her." The spears rose, and I stepped forward, the clopping of my hooves echoing loudly in the sudden absolute silence of the hall, its high, vaulted ceiling almost as imposing as the presence of the diarchs. The gaze of the ponies weighed upon me, making me want to sink into the floor. "That's far enough," said Chrysalis. I stopped and raised my gaze to hers, my ears flattening. She wore a sly and almost malevolent smile, and her eyes glittered as they beheld the pendant. Her desire for it was a palpable force wanting to pull me towards her, but I resisted approaching. I stood no closer to the changeling queen than I did the alicorns, but I felt exposed just the same. Strong Wing stood to her left. He regarded me with stoic indifference, as if we had never enjoyed our conversation earlier. Another guard, a unicorn, stood to her right. Twilight trotted forward, standing only a few pony-lengths from me. "All right, Chry ... Queen Chrysalis, she's here. What's this all about?" Chrysalis chuckled. "You'll see soon enough. I believe Candy has something she wishes to give me." Twilight gasped. "Candy, no! You can't give the pendant to her! We don't know what she'll do with it!" Hooves clopped softly, and Rarity's voice rose from almost directly behind me, "Please, Candy, reconsider this course of action." My heart lurched. My vision threatened to blur into a watery mess. "Candy?" came Fluttershy's whispery voice, rising just above the gentle flap of her wings. "Please don't do this." I sniffled once and wiped my eyes. I took a deep breath and willed the tears away. No more crying. No more hysterics. I had to face this head-on. I had to think. Fluttershy didn't understand. None of them did. I would have better luck holding a soap bubble than carrying this pendant. But I did have the strength to stop being stupid. I knew exactly who did have the fortitude to bear this burden. A rush of wind ruffled my mane, blowing a few strands of hair before my eyes. I brushed them aside and flinched when I saw Rainbow Dash hovering before me. "You can't do this!" she cried. "Come on, Candy, what gives?! You gonna trust her over us?!" I stumbled back a step. "Rainbow, you don't understand, I--!" "You cannot make the decision for her!" Chrysalis yelled. Rainbow whirled around to face her. "I can sure as hay stop her from doing this!" "No, you can't," said Twilight. "What?! Come on, Twilight!" "No. The binding magic on the pendant is too powerful. It will remain with whomever she chooses to give it to." After a pause, she added in a low voice, "If she gives it up." "Rainbow Dash," said Luna. "Let Candy make her decision. I am sure she will make the right one." Rainbow sighed and flew back to the others. No, I couldn't make the right one. I could make a decision, but not the right decision. The right decision was to keep the pendant and remain loyal to Michelle, to reject the idea that the pendant endangered me. But I was no Element of Loyalty. I forced my head up and leveled my gaze at Chrysalis. It would be easier if I didn't look at her, but I had to face her. I had to stop being a coward. Her words still pounded against my brain, and her promises still tugged at my heart. I looked her in the eye anyway. "I don't think you understand what--" "Enough delay!" Chrysalis shouted. "Give me the pendant now!" I trembled like I had under her bombast the night before, but I refused to cringe. I gave up trying to announce my intentions and instead focused my waning strength into my thoughts instead. I sat down on my haunches and dipped my head. I reached for my pendant with hooves far steadier than I ever thought I could accomplish. The others gasped softly. "Candy ... no ..." Fluttershy's quavering voice floated to me. I did not dare pause to answer her. My courage still hung by a thread. The clasp came free, and the pendant tumbled into my hooves. Only then did I turn my head to speak-- A green glow suddenly suffused the pendant. My heart wrenched as it flew from my grasp. My widening eyes rose to the glow of Chrysalis' horn. Pain burst through my head again, and the dam strained. "At last!" Chrysalis cried as she levitated the pendant before her. "After pursuing it for years across two worlds, the artifact is finally mine!" My heart thundered. I quelled my panic though a sheer application of will but trembled with the effort. "I told you we should've tried to stop her!" Rainbow cried just before she rocketed forward in a multicolored blur. "Wait, Rainbow, no!" Twilight cried. I saw it as well: a faint, shimmering, green cocoon of energy had risen around Chrysalis, and Rainbow smacked head-on into it. My stomach flipped as I heard the sickening thud when the dazed pegasus fell to the floor in a heap. Celestia's eyes narrowed, and her horn blazed. Luna's and Twilight's lighted as well, all three alicorns taking a combative stance before the changeling queen as the other ponies rushed forward towards the downed Rainbow Dash. "You can't take on all of us, Chrysalis!" Twilight shouted. "That force field of yours won't last long!" Chrysalis laughed, and all I wanted to do was stuff my hooves in my ears. "It will last long enough for me to do this!" Chrysalis' horn glowed brighter. Bolts from all three alicorns' horns sizzled through the air, exploding against Chrysalis' shield in a spray of burning sparks that skittered across the floor. Her shield flickered but held. The pendant itself started to glow. Applejack looked up and cried, "Twi, what's goin' on?! What's she doin'?!" "She's casting some sort of spell on it!" Twilight cried as she fired another bolt from her horn. "She's trying to use the artifact as some sort of energy trap! I can't stop her until we get through her shield!" "Twilight!" Celestia cried as she let off another golden bolt. "You and your friends may need to call on their Rainbow Power!" "You will deny myself and my changelings nourishment no more!" Chrysalis said. "If you will not give it, I will take it! Today, from all of Ponyville, and then Canterlot, and, soon, from all of Eque -- what?!" The pendant had vanished ... ... and I felt a weight in my mane. I let out a quavering sigh as Chrysalis' remaining influence over me shattered. The three Princesses paused in their attacks. "What happened?!" Chrysalis cried, her eyes wide. "Where is the artifact?!" Pinkie Pie bounced around me. "Oo! I know this one! I know this one! Can I answer? Huh? CanIcanIcanIcanI?" She dug her hoof into my mane and lifted the pendant out. "Yay! I was right! What do I win?" "Huh?" Applejack cried. "What in tarnation jus' happened?!" "What is the meaning of this?!" Chrysalis thundered. "You were going to give up the pendant to me!" I cast a burning gaze at her. "I didn't say I was going to give it up to you!" I snatched the pendant from Pinkie's hoof. "Twilight, could you please come over here?" Twilight exchanged a look with the others before trotting over to me, a bemused expression on her face. She gasped when I turned to her and fit the pendant around her neck. "Candy, what are you--??" "What I should have done days ago," I said in a choked voice. Yet as I brought the ends together under Twilight's mane, the clasp would not close. "I'm not giving you up forever," I whispered as I gazed down at the pendant. "I'm just not strong enough emotionally to handle you right now. Let me give you to Twilight. I ... I trust her." The clasp clicked closed. Twilight slowly smiled. "You little traitor," Chrysalis snarled. "You little worthless--" "SHUT UP!" I bellowed as I whirled around, taking a few steps towards her. My head still hurt, but I didn't care; it was nothing compared to my rage. "You lied to me! You told me the magic of that pendant was irrelevant! And you tried to control me!" "Wait, she did what?!" Shining Armor cried. "You heard me! She affected my mind somehow. I mean, yeah, I was really emotionally screwed up at the time, so she didn't have to do much, but she did something!" "But that's impossible. The guards would have detected it thanks to Twilight's spell." Chrysalis laughed as her shield flickered out. "Oh, nice try, little not-pony. Nice try." "Huh?" came Rainbow's bemused voice as she rubbed her head. "Not-pony? What the hay is she talking about?" My blood ran cold. "A fine attempt to implicate me as the villain in something you were so eager to participate in yourself," said Chrysalis in a silky voice. "You mean you browbeat me into it!" I cried. "And how did I do this when we had nothing more than a calm, rational discussion?" "There was nothing calm or rational about it!" Shining Armor stepped towards me. "That's not what I was told." I blinked. "Wait, what?" "It's true," Twilight said. "Shining said the report he received was that you and her had a casual discussion on the balcony." "But--!" "Candy, it doesn't matter, you did the right thing in the end. You--" "But that's a lie!" I cried. "I did not collaborate willingly with her! All right, th-that's not the whole story. Yes, I listened to her. I almost gave her the pendant." I sighed and ran a hoof through my mane. "Look, I admit, maybe I did want to give it to her, just to take an easy way out. Part of this was my fault, but she took advantage of me when I was vulnerable. She pushed me into doing it. I've had to fight her influence all this time!" Rarity stepped beside me. "Twilight, I believe her." My eyes widened. Fluttershy landed next to me. "I believe her, too." "If they believe her, that's good enough fer me!" said Applejack. "Well, I'm not gonna believe this flying bag of ugly over her!" Rainbow said. "Oo, can I believe her, too?" Pinkie said. She leaned over to me and whispered, "Actually, I believed you all along." My eyes teared again, and this time I let them. "You are all fools!" Chrysalis shouted. "You believe this little not-pony over one of your own trusted guards?!" "What is it with her and this 'not-pony' stuff?" Rainbow said. I tried not to cringe when Rainbow looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face. "Um, Prince Shining Armor?" said Chrysalis' unicorn guard in an uneasy voice. "Miss Swirl's account is correct." "It is?" Shining and Twilight said in unison. Queen Chrysalis bared her teeth. Her gaze shifted down and flicked between the unicorn guard and Strong Wing before narrowing on the latter. "Yes," said the guard. "Miss Swirl looked quite distressed. She even stomped her hooves at least once, and it was clear Queen Chrysalis was shouting at her at one point." Shining frowned. "Strong Wing!" The pegasus guard continued to look forward, holding his spear rigidly at his side. "Yes, Your Highness?" "Why was your account of the meeting between Miss Swirl and Queen Chrysalis so different than your fellow guards?" Strong Wing paused. "I am at a loss, Your Highness." I stared at Strong Wing. My head throbbed. The dam strained further. "At a loss? What's that supposed to mean?" "I'll tell ya what it means!" Applejack declared. "It means somepony ain't tellin' the truth!" "With all due respect to Captain Strong Wing," said the unicorn guard. "Miss Swirl's guards on duty that evening will corroborate my story. We specifically voiced our concerns to the Captain, and he promised he would bring it to your attention, Your Highness." Shining narrowed his eyes on Strong Wing. "What do you have to say for yourself?" "Perhaps ... perhaps I was mistaken," said Strong Wing. "That was a pretty big 'mistake!' Twiley, tell me something. Did Strong Wing ever take an unescorted trip outside the castle without being scanned upon his return?" "No, not that I'm aware of," said Twilight. She paused. "But ... wait ... when he chased the changeling, he briefly entered the forest. He was out of view for just a ..." She trailed off. Her eyes narrowed. She stepped up to Strong Wing, her horn glowing. "Stand still." "Princess, wait!" Strong Wing cried. "Is this really--?" A black stripe rose from the pegasus' hooves, and I recognized the spell at once: the same one she had cast on me to check if I were a changeling. It had resulted in lots of purple dots with a scattering of red for me. But for Strong Wing, the black bands were splattered with bright green. Twilight aborted her spell only seconds in and recoiled. "This guard is a changeling!" Chrysalis' unicorn guard whipped his spear around and trained it on Strong Wing. Half a dozen other guards rushed over and leveled their spears at him as well. My head was spinning. The memory of Strong Wing's visit whirled in my head, tinged green. My head would not stop hurting. Fluttershy lay a hoof on my shoulder. "Candy, are you okay?" Words would not come to me. All I could do was give her a helpless look. Shining Armor loomed over Strong Wing. "Drop the disguise." "Your Highness--" "Now!" Strong Wing looked at me, and my heart turned to ice. "Very well," he said in a low voice as he let the spear clatter to the floor. In a flash, the pegasus was no more. I recoiled as a black, insectile creature hovered before me, its glowing green eyes staring ... ... a scar across its left eye ... ... like in Michelle's ... ... The dam burst. ~~~ I pound on the door, but Michelle does not hear me. She wails out her distress one more time: "Why are you doing this to me?! I thought you were my friend!" I have no time to summon help. It is me or no one. I kick the door once, twice, and on the third try, the lock splinters from the frame. The door flies open, and I burst inside, about to shout my friend's name. The cry dies before it even reaches my lips. My eyes widen, my heart leaping into my throat, sanity threatening to fall off the edge of the Earth as I see myself standing over my fallen friend. "Who are you?!" I demand. "Why do you look ..." And then the doppleganger transforms. An insectile horror hovers on buzzing wings, its glowing green eyes fix upon me, a scar slashes across its left eye. I stumble back in horror, but somehow, the door is closed, and my back slams against it. The creature flies towards me, and I have no breath with which to scream. The horn jutting from the head of this horrid monster erupts in sickly green light which strikes my eyes. My already tortured mind offers little resistance, almost welcoming the merciful stupor into which it falls, my eyes wide, staring, and glazed. A siren wails outside. The creature utters a guttural sound in a language I do not recognize before turning to me again. "You did not see me." I simply nod, slack-jawed. "You saw an empty apartment, save for your friend." I know of no other truth, so I again nod. "All you know is, you never got to her in time. That is all you will ever think whenever you try to recall this moment." A tear trickles down my face, but I simply nod again. "You will awaken in ten seconds." The creature flies over to the window, its horn glowing. The window glows as well and slides open. It slips into the night, the window glowing and closing in its wake ... ~~~ The pain in my head vanished. Everything else faded into the background, as if we coexisted in an isolated pocket of reality. All my pain and rage suddenly had what it had lacked for so long: a focus other than myself. The strength I had found to stand up to Chrysalis now waned like the dying wind after a storm, but I clung to it long enough to reject the taunts from the darker recesses of my mind to pin all the blame for this on Equestria. No. The one to blame was right in front of me. "Candy, what are you ...?" I heard Twilight say as I marched up to it. "Why did you do it?" I demanded. I knew the logical answer: it wanted the pendant. That's not what I was looking for. The changeling simply hovered and stared at me. "Why did you kill my friend?!" The other ponies fell utterly silent. The changeling narrowed its eyes, but otherwise did not react. I stomped my fore-hooves and screamed, "ANSWER ME!" The changeling finally spoke, its voice raspy and slightly out-of-sync, and, strangely enough, female. "I don't have to answer for my actions to an insignificant not-pony." I wanted something from it. Anything from begging for forgiveness to malevolent gloating would have sufficed. It would have satisfied me in some way. But not this. Not cold indifference. How could I lash out at it? Words had failed. I had no magic. I doubted I could coordinate my hooves enough to throttle it or strike it. My body ached as badly as my heart, so bucking it would be just as ineffective. All I could do was hate. My rage burned out, and I turned away. I clenched my teeth against tears I didn't want to shed, but I had little strength left. A pony drew me into a tight hug, my vision too blurred with tears to see who it was. I simply hugged her back as tight as I could. "It w-won't even admit it," I moaned. "It killed my friend and just doesn't care ... I th-thought her death was my fault all this time. But it wasn't! It wasn't my fault!" "Shhh," I heard a gentle whisper in my ear, a hoof stroking my mane gently. "What is this madness?!" Chrysalis roared. "Sh-she just said this ... this changeling k-killed her friend ... oh, g-goodness ..." That ... that was Fluttershy's voice. I thought she was hugging me. Only then did I blink my eyes free enough of tears to see the fall of purple hair. "R-Rarity ...?" I croaked. "Shh, Candy, it's okay," she said in a soothing, if slightly quavering voice. My heart melted, and I let myself weep softly into her fur. "I'm confused," said Twilight. "What friend is this?" "What difference does it make?!" Rainbow said. "This changeling killed somepony!" "LIES!" Chrysalis bellowed. "Changelings do not drain to the point of death!" "I beg to differ," came Luna's icy voice. "And what proof do you have for this ludicrous accusation?" Chrysalis growled as I lifted my head towards them, wiping my eyes. "Perhaps you forget that I can see into dreams. I have seen her struggle against this suppressed memory." My jaw fell. "I ... y-you ... you knew it was me?!" Luna smiled. "Not until that night at the castle, when you came to the window while my visage was still in the moon." "But why didn't you say anything?" "It is as I had said," said Luna. "Some things the dreamer needs to work out for herself. I knew the first time I saw your friend that she had been drained by a changeling, but you would never have believed me, and I feared that revealing it might trigger some other part of the spell and prevent you from ever retrieving your memory." "Luna confided this to me, Candy Swirl," said Celestia softly. "I agreed with her reasons for not pushing the matter with you." "I wish somepony had told me," Twilight muttered. "That's not what I meant!" I cried. "Why didn't you say anything about ... um ..." My heart thumped. Luna -- and Celestia! -- knew I was an alien, ironically, as far back as when Chrysalis sent me the letter. "Changelings do not kill!" Chrysalis cried. "Then maybe you should do exactly what you claimed you would do with the changeling who tried to trick me out of my pendant!" I shouted in a choked voice. "Discipline it severely!" "I will not take advice on dealing with my hive from a worthless little not-pony," Chrysalis growled. I recoiled when she took a step towards me. Both Rarity and Fluttershy leapt in front of me. "Don't. Even. Think it," said Rarity. Twilight marched up to Chrysalis. "This summit is over. You've quite proven that you came here for no other reason than to secure this pendant." "I agree with Princess Twilight," said Celestia. "This supposed offer of peace was no more than a sham." "And a very thinly disguised one at that," said Luna. "We suspected from the start, but we needed to know exactly what you really wanted." Rainbow turned to Twilight. "Now can I kick some flank?" "You won't need to," said Twilight. "Chrysalis will be leaving." "The sooner the better," Applejack declared. "Yes, please leave," said Rarity. "Before you upset Candy further." Chrysalis laughed. "Oh, how touching. How wonderfully touching. So much love for this little not-pony that I can almost feed on it alone. So much sentiment, so much blind acceptance and friendship." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Ugh, does she ever shut up?" Chrysalis chuckled. "But I will now tell you who ... or what ... you are dealing with." I took a deep breath and said, "No. You won't." "And how do you intend to stop me?" "Because I'm going to tell them myself." I turned to face the others. Everypony stared at me, some almost strangely expectant. I looked at Luna, and she gave me an encouraging smile. "I'm ... I-I'm not quite what I seem. Chrysalis called me a not-pony for a reason ... I mean, I am a pony, this is not a disguise or something, but ..." I sighed, lowering my gaze. "I'm sorry for not making sense, this is hard." Rarity draped a foreleg around me. "Remember what I told you: whatever happened in your past will not affect how we feel about you now." I took a deep breath and lifted my head. "I said I'm a pony, but I wasn't one until I appeared in Sweet Apple Acres a few days ago. I-I'm an alien." Pinkie gasped. The other ponies looked surprised as well, but their demeanor otherwise remained no more than expectant. "I'm from another world," I said in a strained voice. "I was brought here by Discord." "I knew he was up to somethin'!" Applejack said. "I just knew it!" "No, wait!" Fluttershy cried. "He wouldn't do that! Candy, a-are you sure--?" "Fluttershy, please, it's okay!" I said. "As much as maybe I hated him at first for doing this to me, he ... he saved my life. I'd be dead if he hadn't intervened." Fluttershy gasped, her pupils shrinking slightly. "Uh, this is Discord we're talkin' about, right?" Applejack said. "Yes," I said. "He really did save my life. I don't know, maybe he could've done it some other way, maybe he has some other agenda, but that's beside the point." I sighed. "I am so very sorry for lying to you all. I was scared. I was in a body I didn't understand in a world that didn't make sense. I mean, I've started to get used to it, even ... e-even enjoy some of my time here, but I didn't know who to trust, and, well ... I've kinda got other issues, too." Pinkie suddenly marched up to me with an unusually serious expression on her face. "Well, I have only one thing to say to you about all this, little alien missy!" I blinked and stared. "Huh?" She burst out into a smile. "This means we have to have three parties for you! A welcome to Ponyville party, a welcome to Equestria party, aaaand a welcome to being-a-pony party!" I couldn't help it. I giggled. "Did you not hear her?!" Chrysalis thundered. "She's an alien! She's not one of you!" Celestia strode forward. "It does not matter what form she has now, or that she ever had, or that she will have. We do not allow such trivial things to affect our friendships. I consider her as much one of us as anypony else in this room." "She lied to you!" Chrysalis cried. "So what?" Applejack said. "She told the truth in the end. We don't go holdin' no grudges against somepony 'cuz they made a mistake. She owned up to it." She narrowed her gaze at Michelle's murderer. "Lot more than I can say for you." I teared up again. Fluttershy gave me a brief hug, smiling softly. When Rarity pulled me close again, I swallowed hard and said, "R-Rarity, please, I didn't lie about everything. I really had a mother in the fashion industry, and I really did live in a big city, and I really did like it when we ..." I trailed off when she gently placed a hoof to my muzzle. "Let's settle things here first," she said in a soft voice. "We'll talk later." I nodded, smiling. "Thank you." "Yes, let's settle this now," Twilight declared. She stepped up to Chrysalis. "The summit is over. Your presence is no longer wanted here." "And you still will not admit it," Chrysalis snarled. "Applejack talks about owning up to the truth. Own up to your own feelings! Own up to your hatred for me!" Twilight paused. Her eyes slid towards her friends, who gave her a questioning look. She uttered a soft sigh and hung her head. "Fine. I will. But not here. And not in front of you. I won't give you the satisfaction." She looked up. "Get out of my castle." Chrysalis narrowed her eyes at Twilight. "So much for the touted Princess of Friendship." Twilight's eyes glistened for a moment, and she uttered another sigh. "Whoa! Wait!" Rainbow said, thrusting a hoof at the changeling. "You gonna just let this piece of trash go?!" "We don't have a choice," said Twilight. "But this thing killed Candy's friend!" "I don't like it either! But I don't have control over the changelings, and I don't fully understand what's going on yet." Rainbow fumed. "Fine." She erupted into a spectral streak aimed right at the changeling. "Rainbow!" Twilight shouted, but by the time the warning had left her lips, the pegasus' fore-hoof had smashed into the changeling's jaw, sending it tumbling to the floor. I wished I could have done that. Chrysalis cast an icy gaze at Rainbow, and her horn started to glow. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight stepped forward, their own horns glowing. "Don't even think you have a chance of winning against all of us," said Celestia in a voice of deadly calm. Chrysalis clenched her teeth and let the glow in her horn fade. She nudged the changeling to its hooves and slowly turned away. Shining Armor stepped forward. "Guards! See that they leave the castle. Rainbow Dash, would be so kind as to contact the Wonderbolts contingent in Ponyville and have them ensure these two leave Equestria?" "You got it!" Rainbow said before rocketing out of the room. Shining marched over to me. "It would seem I owe you another apology." He gave me an awkward smile and rubbed his mane. "I'm trying not to make a habit of this, really." I managed a tiny smile. "Thank you, it's fine." "I suggest we retire to someplace more comfortable," said Celestia. "I'm sure there is still much to discuss." And for once, such an announcement did not fill me with a sense of dread. > Chapter 18 - Explanations > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I looked down at the tray Spike had placed on the floor before my cushion, but before I could stretch my achy forelegs towards it, a soft glow cocooned it. It rose and hovered before me, allowing me to close my hooves around it. I turned my head and smiled at Rarity as the glow faded from both the cup and her horn. "Thank you," I said in a soft voice. She smiled in return before turning to her own teacup. As much as I enjoyed the coffee I had sampled earlier, caffeine was the last thing I needed. Many emotions still spun in my head, challenging me to decide what to feel. For the moment, I was content to simply listen. Save for Shining Armor and Rainbow Dash, we had retired to a chamber on an upper floor of the castle's spire. Faceted sunlight shone through tall, crystalline windows, playing off the pastel tapestries and suffusing the room with a warm and soothing glow. The small, round table in the center was the only furniture to be found. We sat upon thick, soft cushions arranged in a haphazard circle. Rarity sat to my right and Fluttershy to my left. My ears perked up when I heard my name. "Candy, I should tell you what I was reluctant to reveal earlier this morning," Twilight said. She had left her cushion, her still-full teacup steaming untouched on its platter as she paced the chamber. The pendant hung from her neck, glowing faintly in the refracted sunlight as she trotted. "I had told you I had some idea of the location of Starswirl's lab where he forged your pendant. I believe he had built it on the very edge of Equestrian lands, near the badlands to be precise." "The badlands?" I said. At least now I could admit my ignorance without worry. Celestia lowered her teacup. "It is where the changelings were sent after their failed invasion of Canterlot. We believe they originated there." "Chrysalis told me they lived in a wasteland. I guess that part of what she said was true." "We honestly have little idea what's out there," said Twilight. "Nopony has ever made an effort to chart that area. But if Starswirl did indeed have his lab near their lands, that would explain how Chrysalis came to know about the pendant. She likely found the remains of the lab and perhaps a journal he left behind." "What I don't like is how she was able to get to this here filly's world," said Applejack. "How do ya reckon she did that?" "She must have a portal somewhere," said Twilight. "Likely deep in her hive where she can draw on natural magic sources or the combined magic of her drones." "She had promised to send me home in exchange for the pendant," I said in a subdued voice. "I guess I was foolish enough to believe Chrysalis could simply wave a hoof and open the portal anywhere she liked." "Do we need to worry 'bout her messin' with Candy's homeworld?" asked Applejack. "As single-minded as Chrysalis is, that's highly unlikely," said Twilight. With all my focus on myself, I had not even considered the possibility that the changelings could seriously mess with things in my world. I had to take Twilight at her word, as I had enough things to worry about. I took another sip of tea, and my gaze drifted over my hooves; so alien and yet now so familiar, just like sitting on my haunches, or the swivel of my ears when somepony spoke, or the flick of my tail when I was anxious. I had an adoptive world now that I didn't have to fear inside an adoptive body that started to make sense. My mind still roiled in indecision as to how I felt about it. I looked up when I heard a rush of wind. Rainbow Dash hovered just inside the door. "Hey, all, I'm back." "Already?" Applejack said. "Though ya were gonna fly with the Wonderbolts." "I did!" Rainbow grabbed an unused cushion from the corner of the room and tossed it towards an empty spot near Applejack. "We didn't have to go far." She zipped across the room and landed on her haunches a split second after the cushion hit the floor. "Looked like Buggy McUgly had a teleport circle set up just outside of town." Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Should I be worried 'bout that?" "No, it makes sense," said Twilight. "She likely set it up earlier to allow her changeling infiltrator to travel quickly between the badlands and here. I'll check it out myself later and make sure it didn't lead anywhere else before dispelling it." "I told Shining Armor about it," said Rainbow. "He sent some guards to keep an eye on it. So what'd I miss?" "Nothing yet," said Twilight. She trotted over to me. "I was going to ask about Candy's friend." She turned to me and added in a soft voice. "If you feel you can. If it's too hard for you right now, I'll understand." I shook my head and lowered my cup. "It won't get any easier for awhile yet, Twilight," I said in a slightly quavering voice. "She was my best friend. I guess she was really my only friend. We'd been friends since I was a little girl. I turned to her after my mother's death, and she really helped me deal with it. At least as much as she could." I paused and took a deep breath when my throat became tight at the memory of that time. "A-anyway ... I ... I gave her that pendant. It was supposed to symbolize our friendship. She knew it was just a cheap piece of costume jewelry ... well, that's what I thought it was at the time ... but she also knew it meant a great deal to me. She almost didn't accept it, but she did." The feared lingering resentment towards Michelle never came, and memories flowed more easily and less painfully. Even when Rainbow spoke up, it didn't trigger tears. "So that's what you meant! You told me in the hospital it had something to do with a close friendship." I nodded. "Yes, that's right." Rainbow rubbed her mane. "I'm really sorry about the hard time I gave you over that pendant." "No, it's okay, you didn't know. Anyway, some years later, she started helping rehabilitate those who were abusing drugs. Um, not sure if you have that sort of problem here." "Not often, but it can happen," Twilight said. "An' that was a mighty fine callin' fer yer friend," Applejack said. "I can't imagine that bein' an easy thing to do." I smiled faintly. "I kinda thought she was crazy at the time, but she was always very kindhearted." I turned my gaze towards Fluttershy. "Very much like you." Fluttershy smiled, her eyes glistening. "Aw, thank you. Now I understand why you reacted to me like you did at first. I didn't realize I reminded you so much of your friend." My smile widened slightly. "Anyway, I sort of fell out of touch with her for a bit. I was struggling to get my head back into school work. Then I heard a rumor that she thought I was doing drugs." My smile faded, and I shivered. Rarity lay a hoof on my shoulder. "Then there was the day I couldn't reach her. I finally headed to her apartment and ... a-and when I entered, I s-saw myself. The changeling." Rarity uttered a soft sigh. "Candy, I'm so sorry." I shook my head and blinked a few times. My eyes misted, but I didn't cry. I had shed enough tears for a lifetime. "She must have disguised herself, made her think it was me, and then ... well, you know most of the rest." I scraped a fore-hoof on the floor, and I clenched my teeth for a moment. "That thing made me think my friend was the one on drugs. She asked me to take the pendant with her dying breath, which is how I got it back." "I do not know if this will help or not," said Luna. "But the only way that changeling could have done what it did was if your friend had truly loved you." I swallowed hard. I lost my battle, and a single tear trickled down my cheek. For as long as I had thought I didn't deserve friends because of how horribly I had failed Michelle, even knowing that I was not at fault, I still struggled to completely shed myself of a feeling that had ruled my life. Yet when Rarity drew me into a hug, and I could accept it without hesitation or drawing away, I knew I had made a good start. I smiled. "It does, Princess," I said in a soft voice. "Twi, ya figger out yet how Chrysalis affected Candy?" Applejack said. Twilight gave me a soft smile before she turned away from me. "I have a theory. All magical energy has a natural resonance. I had tuned the detection spell to the particular resonance used by changeling mind magic. It's possible Chrysalis managed to re-tune her magic to use a different resonance. It wouldn't be nearly as efficient, and she would have to use it in short, weaker bursts, but it's possible." "Yes, that must be what happened," I said. "Several times I felt like I had fuzzed-out, but I thought I was just emotionally overwrought at the time." "But however did Chrysalis accomplish such a thing?" said Rarity. "She doesn't strike me as, well, subtle enough to come up with something like that." "I think it was the changeling who disguised itself as Strong Wing," said Twilight. "Did anypony notice something unusual about it?" "Other than that scar 'cross one eye?" Applejack said. "Other than it was more ugly than usual?" Rainbow added. "Wait, I know!" piped Pinkie. She stretched her fore-hooves to either side and tilted her head up as if looking at something tall, at least until she fell over backwards. "It was biiiiig!" "Yes, exactly," said Twilight. "Well, not quite that big, but at least bigger than the drones at the wedding. And bigger than the drone the real Strong Wing chased." So that was not the normal size for a changeling? I had no idea. "At least it went down like a normal changeling when I hit it," Rainbow said. "I mentioned that day in the hospital that we know so little about the changelings," said Twilight as she resumed pacing. "They may indeed have more specialized classes of drones. This changeling was obviously quite versed in magic if it could use such a sophisticated memory suppression spell against Candy, and it had ample opportunity after infiltrating the castle to figure out how the detection spell operated and find a way to work around it." Applejack frowned. "Ya seein' the same problem I am, sugarcube?" Twilight sighed. "That there's another changeling out there somewhere? Yes." "Wait, what?!" Rainbow said. She leapt into the air and hovered. "Where?!" "Well, not in the castle," said Twilight. "Shining Armor has scanned all the remaining guards. Most likely it's in one of the wooded areas near Ponyville. Shining and a contingent of guards will be conducting a thorough search, if for no other reason than to find the real Strong Wing." I shivered. I almost lifted my hoof to a pendant that no longer hung from my neck. Applejack sighed. "I gotta admit, much as I'm mighty glad Candy here is safe, Discord sure as hay left us a right mess." "Applejack, if you don't mind me asking," I said. "You said earlier you knew he was up to something. How did you know?" She smiled. "Thank Twi and her magic fer that." "It was the changeling detection spell I scanned you with, Candy, back in your first night in the castle," said Twilight, looking pleased. "The dots are color-coded to the type of magic it finds in you. Purple for unicorn magic, blue for pegasus magic, and yellow for earth magic." Pinkie giggled. "Except mine. Mine were all pink!" "And alicorns would be a mix of all three," said Twilight. "Yours were purple like I expected, but the little bit of red indicated chaos magic. Likely residual magic from the spell Discord used to transform you into a pony and transport you to Equestria. And, well, there were the hints he gave us." "Hints?" I asked. "He talked to you about me?" "He, ah, dropped in unexpectedly on our meeting the other night." "Wait, was that the explanation for the, well, odd things I saw?" "Took me hours to clean up all that flour," Spike muttered, frowning. Rarity groaned. "Ugh, I still get the shivers thinking about that night. That horrible outfit was too evil even by Discord's standards." "Um, he did try to help us, though," said Fluttershy. "And he really didn't lie to us. And, well, the little plushie was cute." "He's still up ta somethin'," Applejack grumbled. "Otherwise he'd be here gloatin' over the whole thing." Rarity leaned forward and looked at Fluttershy. "Had he ever mentioned anything more to you about this, darling?" "No, he hasn't," Fluttershy said. "But we're going to have a long talk about this the next time he shows up for tea." I had no idea how I felt about Discord. I could not let go of the anger so easily, even when I preferred being a live pony over a dead human. "One thing you should ask him, Fluttershy," said Twilight. "Is if he can return Candy to her own world and her own body." Fluttershy's pupils shrank slightly, and she glanced at me. "Um, okay, I can ask him." "One would imagine he could," said Celestia. "Considering he appears able to travel between the two worlds at will." "Unless he's in this with the bug queen from the start," Rainbow grumbled. "Unlikely," said Luna. "That would not be fitting with Discord's style." "Seemed ta suit 'im with Tirek," said Applejack. "Unlike Tirek, I doubt Chrysalis could offer Discord anything he could possibly want." Rarity turned her head towards her friend. "Fluttershy, are you okay?" Fluttershy's gaze had dropped. "Um ... yes ... just ... if Candy had to go back, I'd ... I'd miss her." My heart lurched. "Well, I would certainly miss her as well," Rarity said in a soft voice. "But we cannot keep her here if she would rather be back home." That word again: home. What did it really mean? Did I even have one? Earth was not a home, it was a world that happened to be where I was born. My aunt's place, where I had been staying before I ran off after Michelle's death, had been a shelter, not a home. The last place I could call home stopped being such when my mother died. I looked around. Was the castle a home? Where I had spent most of my time scared or worried, I could hardly call it that, even as nice as it was. I glanced at Rarity. She had offered me someplace to call home. Could I accept that? Did I deserve ... no, scratch that. That had been answered already. It all came down to what I wanted. "Given enough time and research," said Twilight. "I might be able to discern how to open a portal between our world and hers, but I would have no idea how to transform her back to her original body. Discord would appear to be her only hope of returning." I uttered a soft sigh. I remembered the morning spent with Rarity, perhaps some of the happiest moments I had for some time. With the pall of worry over my fate lifted, I saw the past few days in a new light. Yes, Equestria still defied explanation sometimes, but I supposed like anything else I could learn. I looked down at my hooves. Part of me still yearned to be human again. My dreams, despite the emotional maelstrom they had sparked, were comforting on some level. I still felt like I belonged in that old body. "I think we're all fergettin' somethin'," said Applejack. "We're not askin' Candy what she thinks." My head jerked up. "Huh? I'm sorry?" "You're right, Applejack," said Twilight. She turned to me. "Candy? Do you want to go home?" I stared at her for a long moment. My eyes darted around the room. My gaze met that of Rarity and then Fluttershy. I looked at Applejack, who gave me a soft smile. Was she doing that again? Was she somehow looking into my head and reading my intentions? Or was it just my damn expressive pony ears again? "I ... I don't know." Nopony spoke, as if they knew I had more to say. "I can't say my life back on my world was great," I began. "It wasn't. Some of that was my own fault. I didn't let anypo ... anyone get close to me after my mother's death, except for my one friend. I thought I didn't need anyone else. And then when she died, I thought I didn't deserve any more friends." Fluttershy touched a hoof to my shoulder. "Oh, Candy, please, don't think--" "No, please, Fluttershy, it's okay." I gave her a faint smile. "That's what I used to think. I mean, yes, it's still a struggle to throw it off completely, but at least I want to now. I don't know yet where I want to go with my life, or in which world. At least ... at least no matter what I decide, I'll try not to push others away. I'll at least try to make friends." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry, I know that sounds sappy, I just--" Rarity and Fluttershy converged on me, hugging me between them. I let out a ragged sigh, my eyes tearing as I threw my forelegs around them and hugged them back. I heard a sniffle and blinked my eyes clear enough to see Pinkie Pie giving me a huge smile, her own eyes watery. "Candy, please, listen to me," said Rarity after we broke off the embrace. "If you ever have doubts again, please, come to me. Or any of us. We'll be happy to help." "Yes, please, Candy," said Fluttershy. "Don't ever shut anypony out. Please promise us." "I won't," I said, sniffling once. "I promise." "Aww, th-this is so sweet," Pinkie said in a quavering voice. Rainbow's lips had twitched into a smile, and she swiped one eye with a hoof. She caught several ponies looking at her. "What? I just had something in my eye, that's all! Not like I get all sappy like the rest of you." Celestia giggled softly. I caught a strange, soft, pulsing glow out of the corner of my eye. My jaw dropped as I looked at Fluttershy's cutie mark. "F-Fluttershy, what ...?!" Fluttershy looked at me curiously, then saw where my gaze was pointed. "Oh!" "Yes, mine as well!" Rarity said in a joyous voice. Both Fluttershy's and Rarity's cutie marks glowed in a soft pulsing pattern. "What does that--?" I started, but was cut off when both ponies hugged me again. "It means you're going to keep your promise," Fluttershy said. "I don't understand," I said. Twilight smiled. "It means that's what the Cutie Map had summoned them to do, Candy, to help you realize you didn't have to be alone anymore. You don't have to stop making friends." For a few moments, I simply stared at her, not so much at what she said as how my own feelings towards the concept had so radically shifted. Had this been but a day ago, I would have seized on it as proof that this had been no more than an assigned task. Instead, I took it as a sign that perhaps I had reached a turning point in my life; only time would tell what I actually did with it. "That's good, considering it looks like I'll be staying in Equestria for awhile," I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Luna lifting her teacup with her magic. "But, in that case, can I ask one favor?" "Anythin' ya need, sugarcube," said Applejack. "What is it?" "Will somepony please teach me how to use my horn?" The other ponies laughed, and I chuckled along with them. Twilight trotted forward. "Well, with the summit over, I think I'll have some time to--" "Ahem," said Rarity. "While it is true you're more accomplished than most at magic, I believe that responsibility should fall to me. After all, I am fostering her." I turned towards her, my eyes wide. "Rarity, are you still going to ...?" "Well, of course, I am," Rarity said, smiling. By now the glow of her cutie mark had faded. "Just because the Map says I'm done doesn't mean I'm simply going to trot away and forget you. Mind you, I fully intend to put you to work in the boutique. It will be a good way for you to practice with your horn anyway." I smiled, though it was slightly bittersweet. The memory of my mother still haunted me, and likely would for some time to come, but I could not let that hold me back. My guilt over Michelle had done that all too well. It would have to be as I had said earlier, that Rarity would be more a big sister rather than a mother. Still, it was more than I had when I first came to this world. "I'd love to help out in the boutique," I said with a smile. "Candy?" Fluttershy said. "I know you'll be spending a lot of time with Rarity, but, please, stop by my place now and then?" "Of course I will," I said. "I mean ... that's what friends do, right?" Fluttershy smiled. Rarity turned to Twilight. "Naturally, if Candy does prefer to learn advanced magic, she is more than welcome to seek out your advice like Sweetie Belle has." "I would be more than happy to teach her," said Twilight as she headed back to her cushion. She picked up her teacup in her magic. Her horn glowed brighter for a moment, and soon steam once more wafted from the cup. Really, I would be happy just to be able to move stuff around. I had no immediate desire for anything more advanced than that. Despite being in a magical world, I did not see myself becoming a mage anytime soon. Well, okay, that spell Twilight used to reheat her tea was kind of cool, but still ... Celestia set down her own now empty teacup. "I am truly happy this has all worked out. But before my sister and I depart for Canterlot, I believe Twilight had something she wished to talk to us about." Twilight sighed and gazed down into her cup, looking a bit like I had felt in the dining hall right before Luna had arrived. "I do hope this is an explanation for why we were shut out of the summit preparations at first," said Rarity, lifting her muzzle in the air. "I was not at all satisfied with the explanation -- if you could call it as such -- that you gave us earlier." Applejack frowned slightly. "That's kinda harsh, doncha think?" "No, she's right, Applejack," said Twilight in a somber voice. She lifted her gaze to Celestia. "I must apologize to you as well, Princess. I failed you." "Please, Twilight, do not judge yourself so harshly," said Celestia. "Tell us what you feel you need to reveal first." "Was Chrysalis right?" Applejack asked in a gentle voice. "All that stuff she said 'bout how you really feel about her?" Twilight sighed. "Yes, she was. I do hate her." "I toldya!" Rainbow said. "Who wouldn't hate her for what she did to Shining Armor?" "That's not the reason I hate her, Rainbow." Rainbow blinked and settled on her haunches. "Um ... it's not?" Twilight took a sip of her tea. "I hate her because, back at the wedding, she made me hate all of you." "Oh, goodness," Fluttershy breathed. Spike gasped, his eyes wide. "Twilight, you never told me!" Twilight hung her head. "It's not something I'm proud of, Spike." She lifted her head, her subdued gaze drifting over her friends. "It was when you didn't believe me when I told you something was wrong with Cadance. After Chrysalis sent me into the caverns below Canterlot, just for a brief moment while I sat in the darkness, I hated all of you." I tried to piece together what had happened as I listened. I remembered wondering earlier if Chrysalis had done something to warrant becoming common nightmare fodder. I supposed I had my answer. "Twilight," Rainbow said in a contrite voice. "Really, we're sorry we ever--" Twilight held up a hoof. "Please, it's okay, you don't need to apologize. None of you do. I've long since forgiven all of you for that. That hate was barely a flicker. I knew I was simply distraught and frightened over what happened, but that I felt it at all ... bothered me. A lot. I-I didn't want it to ever happen again." Applejack stepped over to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder. "Didja really think Chrysalis would do somethin' to make us not believe ya again?" she asked in a soft voice. Twilight sighed. "I know, it sounds foolish to me now, too. I wasn't thinking." She peered down into her tea. "The other day, I had a talk with Fluttershy about the wedding, right after I had an argument with Rainbow. Maybe she was right. Maybe I do have some lingering resentments, despite how unbecoming that is for a Princess of Friendship." Twilight's demeanor exuded a pain all too familiar to me. These ponies were not all that different from me after all. As much as I sympathized with Twilight, I drew some comfort from that thought. "Twilight Sparkle," Celestia said in a low but firm voice. Twilight swallowed hard and looked up. "Do not be too hard on yourself," Celestia said softly. "You are not expected to be perfect just because you have earned a title. You cannot expect yourself to stop feeling the way you do." "And, truly, Chrysalis had done nothing to endear herself to you," said Luna. "All things considered, you handled yourself as well as could be expected." "One more thing," said Celestia. She rose to her hooves and stepped over to Twilight. "Just because you are the one who has the title, that does not mean you need to do everything yourself." Twilight slowly smiled and nodded. "I understand, Princess." She turned to the others. "I'm sorry, everypony. I should have talked to you all about how I felt. I'm glad you all insisted on being there when the summit started." Rarity smiled. "And I am sorry as well for getting a little heated with you at our meeting earlier." "We all are, Twilight," said Fluttershy. "Hey, it all worked out in the end," said Applejack. "That's what matters." Pinkie suddenly bounced between Twilight, Applejack, and Celestia and pulled them together with a joyous cry of "Group hug!" How she did that with only two forelegs, I had no idea. Twilight smiled as the other ponies trotted over and joined in a show of spontaneous affection that, despite everything I had learned about them in the last day or so, left me speechless. Had I isolated myself for so long that such a thing would seem so alien to me? I uttered a faint sigh. Despite how far I felt I had come, I still had a lot to learn. Pinkie turned her head towards me. "Well, what are you waiting for, you silly filly?" I blushed faintly, but my lips twitched into a small smile. I actually did feel a little silly, to be honest, but I trotted over to them just the same. I almost flinched in surprise when Twilight turned and hugged me first. "That's for trusting me with your beloved pendant," Twilight said. "I'll take good care of it, I promise." "I know you will, Twilight," I said, smiling. "Thank you." My gaze fell upon the pendant as it gleamed in the afternoon light. What was it, really? Why did it draw attention to me in the alley? Why did it not want to part from me? Did it have anything to do with whatever entity Luna said had helped me in my dreams? I hoped Twilight could find the answers for me, as I burned to know. Spike stepped up to me. "So, um, Candy? I was wondering. Did that trip to the library help at all?" "Yes, Spike," I said. I glanced at Luna, who smiled at me. "It was very ... enlightening." His eyes lit up. "Really?" "I learned something very basic." I grinned. "You might even say something very elemental." Spike slapped his claw against his forehead. "No offense, Candy, but that was a groaner." I giggled. Luna chuckled as well. Spike smiled. "I can't take full credit for it, though. It was, um, sorta another pony's idea." His eyes flicked to the side. I followed his gaze and gasped. "W-wait ... that was your idea?!" Princess Celestia smiled. "When you mentioned on the balcony earlier this morning how well you got along with Spike, I thought it best he help gently steer you in the right direction. Or more accurately, give you the opportunity to steer yourself." "Don't look so shocked, Candy," said Luna in response to my open-mouthed stare. "My sister is like that sometimes. You'll get used to it." The other ponies chuckled. I smiled, but the same question arose in my mind again: did I want to stay? How long would it take before I simply became so used to this world that it no longer mattered if I went back? No, I had to have something more concrete. I didn't want to simply exist. That's all I had done on Earth the past few years. If I were to stay in Equestria, I needed something more. I needed a purpose. "As enjoyable as this has been," said Rarity. "I ought to be taking my leave. I need to pick up Sweetie Belle at the schoolhouse." "An' I need to fetch Apple Bloom," said Applejack. "Miss Cheerliee was mighty nice 'bout keepin' an' eye on 'em after school so we could attend this here summit, but they're prob'ly drivin' the poor mare nuts right 'bout now." Rarity turned to me. "Candy, you're welcome to come home with me tonight if you wish." I blinked. "But ... I thought that challenge to your application ..." Twilight stepped forward. "Officially, I still have custody of you, Candy, so I can approve of you going with Rarity. You do look rather tired, though, so you're welcome to spend another night in the castle if you want." Only then did I realize how much my ears drooped. Even my tail felt limp. Whatever had sustained me, be it adrenaline or sheer force of will, now left my body aching and my eyelids heavy. I would need a nap just to have enough energy for dinner. "I think I do want to stay another night." "May I pick you up in the morning, then?" Rarity asked. So could I handle another day in the body of a little unicorn pony with day-glo hair in a bizarre magical world? Could I deal with a day where I didn't have to watch everything I did or send every word I said through a mental censor? Would I be able to handle the idea that I actually had friends I could go to if I had a problem? "Yes, please." I smiled. "I'm looking forward to it." ~~~ END OF PART ONE ~~~ > Chapter 19 - Should I Be Worried? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I took a few deep breaths to further calm my pounding heart without tearing my gaze from the single silvery object that had become my focus. My non-native ancestry thwarted my ability to attain any further serenity; I was trying to do something no one in my own world had ever done before. I heard a gentle clop of hooves behind me. "Now, my dear, you almost had it," came Rarity's encouraging voice. "You can properly envision and hold it. Now you need to convince yourself you can move it." Rarity had chosen a fork as the subject of my first attempt at levitation (well, technically my second attempt; the first attempt was ... less than successful). Was this a subtle hint that she wanted my table manners to improve before I lived with her? I could have been reading too much into it. We had just finished breakfast at the castle, and this happened to be an unused utensil. I still needed to stand down from the ragged edge of paranoia in which I had lived for the past few days. I caught a glimmer of gold out of the corner of my eye as light gleamed from the pendant around Twilight's neck. Twilight had suggested I try this before I left the castle, claiming she wanted to ensure that the residual chaos magic didn't interfere with my abilities. I think she simply wanted the chance to jump in if I needed help. I narrowed my eyes and concentrated. The rush of energy suffusing my horn filled me with the same sense of eager anticipation as it had moments before. I caught Spike cringing out of the corner of my eye. During my first attempt, I had nearly clipped the poor dragon's head and embedded the fork in the wall while still learning how to properly channel magic into my horn. A pale blue glow enveloped the fork. This time the sensation of holding it simply with my will felt less alien. I still struggled to banish the false analogy of gripping it in a hand, as that likely had thwarted my previous attempt. Okay, now ... lift. I gasped as the fork shot up like a rocket until I mentally clamped down on it, freezing it in mid-air about a pony-length above my head. I heard Twilight and Rarity chuckle. I blushed, thinking it directed at me, until I heard Spike's muffled voice, "Hey, I'm just, um, cleaning under the table! Yeah, that's it! I wasn't terrified at all that she might poke my eye out." "You need a more gentle touch, Candy, but otherwise you're doing better," said Rarity. "Try setting it down on the table." "I'll just keep cleaning under here until she's done," Spike called out. I giggled, and my chest no longer felt so tight, though my heart still raced. This was magic -- actual magic -- something so common in this world yet still quite extraordinary to me. I could not have conveyed my elation. When I almost dropped the fork, it tempered my celebration. I had envisioned too many nuances of this power at once rather than letting it flow naturally. It reminded me how I still needed to let things go. I still had many old patterns of thought to dismantle. Sometimes things really were as simple as they seemed. With a more relaxed breath, I lowered the fork the remaining distance, and it made nary a sound as it touched down upon the table. "Very good, Candy," Rarity said. "I think you're starting to get it," Twilight said, smiling. Spike's eyes peeked above the edge of the table, and the rest of him popped up a moment later. He smiled and offered me a thumb's up. "I knew you could do it!" I giggled. "Thanks, all." Twilight turned to Rarity. "So will you be taking Candy straight to the boutique this morning?" Rarity stepped off her chair. "Yes, indeed. I need to finish a dress before lunch, and Candy should get in as much practice as possible with her magic now that she has the basics down." "Do you need to take Sweetie Belle to school?" I asked. "She'll be going by herself. Mayor Mare has lifted the restrictions concerning that." "But I thought there's still another changeling out there. She's not worried that it might be in the town?" Twilight smiled. "Shining Armor is taking care of that now." "Did he find the other changeling, then?" said Rarity. "No, but he can at least assure everypony there are no more changelings in Ponyville itself," said Twilight. "Before breakfast, we put our heads together and figured out how to use his shielding magic to cast my detection spell over a wider area. He's off doing a final sweep in town now." My gaze drifted to the pendant. As much of a burden it had become, it was also a fixture, and guilt still tugged at me for leaving it behind. I still felt that the separation would be good for me, letting me focus on my new life, whatever it eventually turned out to be. Finally having had a night free of dreams about Michelle or the pendant gave me some hope. "What of Strong Wing?" Rarity asked. My ears flattened. I had to remind myself they were speaking of the real one. Twilight sighed. "We haven't found him yet, and Shining Armor has to head back to the Crystal Empire soon. I'm getting a little worried, especially in light of what happened to Candy's friend." I shuddered. I felt bad enough that the pendant had been indirectly responsible for one death, even if I had managed to shed the guilt. "Surely you don't believe ...?" Rarity began, her pupils shrinking as she tried to voice what I had just been thinking. "I'm not sure what's going on," said Twilight. "The more I go over in my head what happened over the last few days, the more things don't add up. This is the first time we've heard about a changeling actually draining somepony to the point of death." Twilight glanced at me. "Candy, if that brings up bad memories, I could defer this for now." "No, don't," I said in a firm if quavering voice. "I want to hear this. I want to understand as much as I can as to ... as to why she died." Rarity touched a hoof to my shoulder before turning to Twilight. "Though you said yourself we know so little about them." "Yes, but Chrysalis seemed adamant about denying it." "Well, of course. A miscreant always tries to cover up her misdeeds." "There's something else," said Twilight. "Candy, the changeling disguised as Strong Wing had tried to use its power on you, didn't it?" "Oh, um, yes," I said, my ears drooping. "He tried to convince me I should listen to Chrysalis right when I first started to doubt her." "And then he lied about the nature of your meeting with Chrysalis when he talked to Shining Armor." "What are you getting at, Twilight?" Rarity asked in a curious voice. Twilight looked thoughtful. "The changeling had obviously found a way to circumvent the spell I crafted to sense their mind magicks. Why didn't it use its power on the other guards so they would back up its story to my brother?" Rarity smiled gently. "I really believe you're over-thinking this." But didn't Twilight have a point? Why didn't the changeling cover its bases? I shivered as the memory of the apartment plagued me. Had I just imagined seeing a cold and calculating intelligence to those alien insect-like eyes? It had been no different when I confronted it after the memory block had fallen away; I had seen the same ruthless, even meticulous, manipulator. "My advice, darling, would be to focus on the pendant," said Rarity. "After all, you have only a month or so." The mention of the pendant jolted me out of my reverie. "I intend to," said Twilight. "Chrysalis had obviously intended to use it to forcefully absorb emotional energy from others, which gives me an important clue as to its original purpose and ... um ... wait, what did you mean by only a month?" "Why, the Grand Galloping Gala, of course," said Rarity. "Certainly you'll want to find a way to break the binding magic by then. The gold of that pendant will clash horribly with many of your outfits." Spike chuckled, and I smiled. The mention of this "Gala" piqued my curiosity, but it could wait until later. "Um, right," said Twilight in a dubious voice, though she did smile faintly. Rarity turned towards me. "Come along, Candy. It's time we head down to the boutique and get you settled in." Despite my lighter mood, my heart still fluttered a bit as I hopped off the chair and alighted on my hooves. I still had yet to completely shift myself out of the mindset of wariness and caution that had become so ingrained in me since arriving in Equestria. I needed to let other ponies worry about things for awhile. I needed to get back to being just an ordinary teenager. Whatever that really meant in this world. "Candy, could you come out here for a moment, please?" The scraps of fabric I had so carefully folded with my hooves trembled in my tiring magical grip. Some of the corners had sprung loose and dangled over the sides of what had been a neat stack. I uttered a small sigh before calling back, "I'll be there in a minute!" A dull headache lurked just under my horn, growing slowly worse the longer I kept pumping magic through it. I had been warned to recognize that as the first sign I was overdoing it, but I had almost completed this task of organizing Rarity's scrap pile. She kept some of the detritus generated by her work for use in patches, practice, or experimentation. A more magically skilled pony would have had this tedious task done inside an hour. It had taken me most of the day. Admittedly, I had worked the task on and off, so the entire day had not been filled with tedium. I got to watch Rarity work again, and we had a nice lunch with Fluttershy. The bundle shook again and threatened to come completely undone. Discomfort overcame stubbornness, and I lowered it to the table, rubbing my head as I let the magic dissipate. I glanced out the window, surprised at how low the sun lay. After a march of days that had crawled by with all the speed of a snail through molasses, I had almost forgotten what the passage of time felt like. I trotted towards the front of the shop. "Sorry for the wait." I glanced to the side where Rarity had placed the dress order she had due that day. The hanger stood empty. "Oh, was the dress picked up, then?" Rarity smiled. "Yes, and she was quite pleased with it. Even though I had to rush a bit at the end, it turned out well." I flicked my gaze to the side. "Er, yeah ... sorry about that." "Don't trouble yourself over it, dear. It was I who perhaps had a bit of misplaced confidence in your ability." Rarity had made the mistake of trusting my nascent magical skill to something sharp. Rather than placing the pair of scissors on her table, I had plunged the point through the cloth of the dress she had been working on. Fortunately, it was a paneled dress, and she needed only to redo the panel. "I need to head over to Town Hall," said Rarity. "I wish to check on the status of my application to foster you." The knot in my stomach reminded me how I could not simply flip my feelings on and off like a light switch, as much as I would have liked. While I very much wanted this to go through, I still could not shake the feeling that I had caused her a lot of trouble. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Rarity smiled. "Please, don't worry yourself about it. Let me handle it." "Could you at least tell me what the reasons for the challenge are?" "It's not important. Really, Candy, the fact that you're here under my roof you can take as assurance that it's inevitable that this will go through." I smiled faintly. I had become so used to relying on nopony but myself for so long that I had forgotten how to relinquish control. I had a chance to go back to enjoying what was left of my childhood. I should be seizing the opportunity rather than finding things to worry about. "Now, I don't expect any more customers today, but I would appreciate you keeping an eye on the boutique while I'm gone," said Rarity. "Of course." She narrowed her eyes. "And no more magic practice for you today, young lady." I blinked. "Huh?" "I can tell you're in a bit of pain. Don't overdo it again, please." I blushed faintly. "How did you know?" "You forget, I had to deal with the same thing while Sweetie Belle learned magic." My heart lurched. Had she already fallen into a motherly role with me? No, I meant big sister role. That's what she had to be for me. Nopony ... no one ... could replace my mother. Even Rarity had agreed with that assessment. "I won't be gone long," said Rarity as she turned away. Had my feelings shown on my face again? I couldn't tell. I didn't trust my voice and remained silent while she headed out of the boutique. I trotted over to a window and leaned my fore-hooves on the windowsill, looking out over Ponyville. With the intimidating presence of the guards now gone, the country charm of this town had returned. I had lost track of how many ponies had greeted me both on the way to the boutique that morning or while we were out to lunch. I really had to get used to that. Maybe my fellow New Yorkers back in my world had gained a reputation for being cold and harsh that was not entirely true, but they definitely tended not to be quite as openly friendly. I wondered if Manehattanites were similar. I idly flicked my tail as I pony-watched, occasionally glancing to the side to catch anypony approaching the front door of the boutique. So how would I fit in here? Was it enough to just go with the flow for now? Where events of the past few days had carried me forward like so many leaves on the rapids, I felt I needed to take more control. I just had no idea how. I flinched when I heard the door open without warning. I turned from the window, my hooves landing with a sharp clop as a magical glow that was not my own faded from the door after it had closed. "Hello! You must be Candy Swirl!" My gaze shifted down towards the source of the high-pitched voice. A little marshmallow-white unicorn filly with a curly pink and purple mane smiled up at me, a saddlebag draped across her barrel. "Oh, um, yeah, that's me," I said. "And you are ...?" "I'm Sweetie Belle." For some odd reason, I had pictured her being older. She couldn't have been more than ten or eleven. I again had dreaded visions of becoming an impromptu foalsitter. "Um, hi. If you're looking for your sister, she'll be back a bit later." "Oh, that's okay. I really wanted to meet you anyway. This'll give us lots of time to get to know each other!" I smiled faintly. "Sure. Great." Sweetie turned away and trotted towards the stairs. "So, you get settled in yet?" Was I supposed to follow her? I glanced out the window and saw no ponies coming to the door. I cantered to catch up with her. "Oh, well, I've moved into the guest room, if that's what you mean." Since all I possessed in this world was a saddlebag and a borrowed copy of a Daring Do novel, I didn't have a lot of baggage to unload, but she didn't need to hear that much detail. "Hmm. Good choice on Rarity's part," Sweetie said as we reached the upstairs hall. "I kinda like having my own room." She stopped outside said room and levitated the saddle bag off her barrel and tossed it on the bed. Several textbooks and notebooks spilled out. Damn, the little kid had better control over her magic than I did. "Um, just because I'm curious, Sweetie, how much do you know about me?" She turned to face me and smiled. "Rarity said you're from Manehattan and don't remember a lot of your recent past. And that you had some sort of powerful magical pendant that Twilight was keeping an eye on for you. And at school today, Scootaloo said that she heard you bravely and single-hoofedly stopped the changelings from stealing it!" I stared. "Wait, what? Um, I don't think that's quite the whole story ..." Sweetie's smile widened. "And you don't have a cutie mark yet!" Was it me, or did she say that last part with ... unwarranted enthusiasm? She obviously had old information about me (not to mention embellished). I debated whether to tell her or let Rarity handle it. I had no idea how a little kid would react to knowing she was living under the same roof with an alien. "So what are you doing tomorrow afternoon, Candy?" Sweetie asked. The sudden change of topic threw me for a second. "Working in the boutique, I guess. I, um, need more practice with my magic." "Do you think Rarity might let you go in the afternoon sometime?" "Maybe. Why?" "Because my fellow Crusaders really want to meet you!" "Er ... Crusaders?" The term sounded vaguely familiar. "Yeah, we would've had you come over today, but Apple Bloom got a letter from her cousin Babs Seed," Sweetie said. "Babs got her cutie mark, and, well, Apple Bloom kinda freaked out a little about whether she'd wind up with a cutie mark she didn't like." Her gaze became subdued for a moment, her ears flattening a bit before she suddenly perked up. "Oh, not that I'm worried about that, of course," she said in an airy voice, waving a hoof. "I'm really sorry, but I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," I said with a sigh. Sweetie Belle giggled. "Aw, that's okay." She trotted past me. "Hey, mind if we talk in the kitchen? I'm kinda thirsty." I followed along behind her. "So what are these, um, Crusaders you mentioned?" "The Cutie Mark Crusaders. Me, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo. We all don't have our cutie marks yet, so we get together and come up with ways to earn them." Well, that certainly sounded tame enough. I supposed it even made sense. If these cutie marks were supposed to be a sign of a skill or ability, how else would a pony attain one unless they tried out different things? "So where do you go to do this?" I asked as we entered the kitchen. Sweetie levitated a glass onto the table as she opened the fridge door with a hoof. "We have a clubhouse at Sweet Apple Acres we use for our meetings." As I climbed into a seat at the table, I took a wild guess that "Apple Bloom" was the little yellow filly with the big bow I had seen that first day. Sweetie's horn glowed as she poured herself some orange juice before trotting over to the table. So this didn't sound so bad. If the clubhouse sat on the farm, they technically had adult supervision nearby. While I was not that enamored of being around a bunch of little kids, it could have been worse. Living with Rarity meant I probably should be accommodating towards Sweetie Belle and make nice with her friends. I did wonder why they would be interested in somepony who had to be at least five or six years older than them. Well, other than I didn't have a cutie mark. Okay, now the alarm bells were going off. "Um, Sweetie?" I asked as she hopped into a chair. "You wanting me to come over to your friends' clubhouse tomorrow ... does this have anything to do with me not having a cutie mark yet?" Sweetie's pupils shrank. "Not from me! No way! Not me at all!" I simply tilted my head and gave her a dubious look. She closed her eyes and lifted a fore-hoof. "I swear, I am not at all interested in helping you attain your cutie mark. I just want you to meet my friends, that's all." I flicked my tail as I considered. Seeing the farm again while not under duress would be nice, if for no other reason than thanking that big stallion who pulled the cart. I had not been of the mindset to think of doing it that first day. Besides, I really had to stop being suspicious of everything. These were just kids. I sincerely doubted they were little hoodlums, or budding gang members, or represented some other form of danger to themselves or anypony else. Sweetie quietly sipped her orange juice as she watched me with hopeful eyes. "Well, okay," I said. "I'll talk to Rarity later and see if she can spare me tomorrow afternoon." Sweetie Belle smiled. "Great! I'll tell the others in school tomorrow!" I heard hooves approaching from the hall. "What will you tell the others tomorrow, Sweetie Belle?" said Rarity in a tired voice as she trotted into the room. "Oh, um, hi, Rarity!" Sweetie said. "Candy was interested in meeting my friends tomorrow." More the other way around, but I refrained from correcting her. Rarity paused and narrowed her gaze. "Indeed?" Sweetie's pupils shrank again. "That's all I want to do, honest! Just bring her to the clubhouse and have her meet my friends. I just want to be nice to her and all." Rarity considered for a moment, then sighed. "Very well. How did you do on your exams? You were supposed to get them back today." Sweetie's gaze slid off to the side. "I did ... okay." "How okay?" "Okay okay." "Sweetie, bring me your exam papers." Sweetie rolled her eyes and slid off the chair. "Okay, okay," she muttered as she trotted out of the room. Rarity watched her go before approaching the table. "My apologies. Sweetie Belle is very smart, but she sometimes doesn't apply herself in all her subjects. School is out for the summer after this week, so this is the last chance she had to bring her grades up." "Are you okay?" I asked. "Simply annoyed by the bureaucracy, dear, that's all. They insist on going through all the motions on this ridiculous challenge despite how silly its premise. Rest assured, I'll handle it." She glanced towards the hall for a moment. "Now I need to ask you, is Sweetie telling the truth?" "About what?" "About her intentions concerning having you meet her fellow Crusaders." "She told me the same thing she just told you," I said. "That she wants me to meet her friends and that's it." "Hrm," Rarity murmured. "Um, should I be worried?" "I suppose not. Perhaps if you associate with her friends, it will be better for them. They could use a more mature influence, to be honest." I guessed I was going to be pressed into foalsitting after all. Then again, compared to what I had been through over the past few days, this should be a cakewalk by comparison. "By the way," I said in a low voice. "Sweetie Belle doesn't seem to know about me being from another world." "On the way back from the castle last night, I asked the others not to reveal that information and instead let you decide whom you wish to tell," said Rarity. My eyes widened. "Even Applejack agreed to that?" Rarity smiled. "While she may be the Element of Honesty, that doesn't mean she reveals personal details of other ponies' lives to whomever will listen, dear. In fact ... I would likely practice some discretion for the time being if I were you." I nodded slowly. I didn't need to be a genius to figure out she wasn't telling me something, and it likely had to do with the challenge to her fostering application. It brought me back to the same concern I had expressed a moment ago which still lacked a satisfactory response: should I be worried? > Chapter 20 - Membership > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am standing in a tiny, unfamiliar kitchen. Canned and boxed food lie in haphazard arrangement upon faded and scratched counter tops of a decor twenty years out of style. Grungy appliances putter and growl as they operate well past their intended lifespans. I stare down at myself. Human again. I have yet to dream of myself in my pony body. I don't know how to feel about it. My mind still hovers between two worlds; I look like Rachel Darrow but consider my name to be Candy Swirl. The dichotomy confuses me. I forget my existential dilemma when the swinging door bursts open, and I gasp as Michelle enters. "Michelle!" I cry without regard to whether I might startle the poor girl. "What are you doing here?! I thought after the deal with the pendant you'd ..." I trail off. She ignores me. Her hands tremble as she empties water into a saucepan from the ancient faucet. She is wearing the same rumpled nightgown as she did in my previous dreams. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. I swallow hard as the pendant around her neck swings about with her frenzied movements. She sets the water on the stove. It takes several tries for the temperamental striker to light the gas, by which time it erupts into a burst of combustion which makes her flinch. "I don't understand what this is about," I say, raising my voice as if hoping it would penetrate whatever veil separates me from her perception. She lifts an arm towards a cabinet and lowers a large ceramic mug to the counter with a bang as if it weighs a ton. I shudder when its appearance tickles a memory. She pulls a container from another cabinet and starts spooning a dark brown powder into the mug, and the faint smell of processed chocolate fills the air. I remember the mug I found on the floor of the living room and the spilled liquid nearby. I'm seeing Michelle make hot chocolate for me -- or rather, for the THING she thinks is me. I look towards the door and shiver. If I push it open, would I see it again? To what purpose? To scream at it? To beat my fists upon it? I hate it with a terrible, dark passion, but I am lucid enough to know this is indeed a dream. It would be for naught. I would be venting against my own memories. Michelle suddenly heaves a ragged sigh, her right hand clutching the pendant. She starts to whisper, forcing me to step forward to hear her properly. "--stop ... it's her ... it has to be her ... sh-she needs my help ..." She closes her eyes, and the hand holding the pendant trembles. "Just ... j-just get out of my head ... I don't know what you're t-talking about ..." "Michelle, please, who are you talking to?" I demand. I lift a hand to touch her shoulder, but it's as if an invisible force field surrounds her, like the one Chrysalis summoned at the summit. Michelle shakes her head violently and forces her hand to unclench and fall to her side. She takes a deep breath, and a small smile comes to her haggard face as the water starts to boil. "She's my friend," she says, grasping the handle of the pan with two hands to keep it steady enough to pour, and even then much splashes over the counter in steaming rivulets. "I love her." My heart aches, and I hastily wipe my eyes. She stirs the hot chocolate, takes a deep breath, and cradles it in two hands as she heads for the door. "Wait, Michelle!" I call out, even though I know it's in vain. She heads through the door and is gone. I swallow hard, my heart pounding. I steel myself for what I am about to see and barrel through the same door. "What--?!" Instead of the living room, I find myself in a milky, star-filled void. Doors march in odd precession on either side, and no two appear alike. "Hello, Candy." I whirl around, and for once I greet the dark blue alicorn princess with a sigh of relief rather than fear. "Princess Luna ... I just ..." "I am sorry to bring you to me rather than me going to you, but I sensed you were in no great distress." Luna utters a tired sigh. "And it's been a busy night." "Busy night?" "Let's just say there are three fillies who worry far too much about their cutie marks." "Princess?" I ask in a pleading voice. "Do you know what just happened to me?" "I sensed part of it," says Luna. "You saw your friend again." "But it makes no sense. It's not a memory." "Normally I would say that you invented what you believe happened prior to your arrival that night, but I again sensed the same presence that I had when you were struggling to reclaim your memory." My eyes widen. "But what is it? WHO is it?" "I do not know. Its energies were far weaker this time." I remember the plea on my cell phone in that dream before I broke through the block placed on my memory. "Could it be coming from the pendant?" "That is a possibility, yes," Luna replies. "But I'm not wearing it anymore. Wouldn't Twilight get these dreams instead?" "Her dreams were rather active tonight," Luna explains. "I was simply too overtaxed to visit them." She gestures with a wing towards another door. "Unfortunately her dreams have concluded, or I could have connected you with them. I strongly suggest you speak with her today." "I will, Princess, I promise," I say. Luna smiles. "Is there anything else I can do before I take my leave?" "Just one thing." I spread my arms. "Why do I keep appearing like this in my dreams instead of as a pony?" Luna considers. "It is possible you still do not quite accept your transformation. It is hard to tell. I have not dealt with something of this nature before." I nod and sigh. She drapes a wing around me. "You said yourself you are unsure of your future. I feel it is much like attaining a cutie mark: it cannot be rushed. The answer will come to you in time." I manage a small smile. I think back to what she said earlier and realize the fillies she spoke of are likely Sweetie Belle and her friends. "Do you think those fillies you mentioned took your advice as well?" Luna sighs. "Concerning ceasing to worry about what cutie marks they get, hopefully. Concerning their eagerness to acquire them ... not so much, I fear." And Rarity thinks I would be a source of maturity for them when I'm still too anxious for answers myself. I sincerely hope that's not a recipe for disaster ... "Ugh, don't tell me it's going to rain today!" Sweetie Belle lamented from where she had climbed onto the kitchen counter, her muzzle pressed to the glass. She raised a hoof to straighten her pith helmet when a twitching ear upset it. I had chosen not to speculate on the oddity of her head gear. As for the weather, I had only vaguely noticed that the world had become gray and subdued with the fading morning light. My focus had been usurped by the fork which floated in my trembling magic. I faced the daunting task of bringing it closer to my mouth without sticking myself in the nose or eye. When Rarity turned her head to look to her sister, I took the opportunity to cheat: I leaned forward and snatched the morsel of food from the tines. "Sweetie, come back to the table, please, and finish your breakfast," said Rarity. "The pegasi have showers scheduled until only noon. They promised sunshine the rest of the day." She turned back to her breakfast. "And I saw that, Candy." The fork clattered to the plate as my magic faltered. "Er, what?" Rarity smiled gently. "But I'll allow it. I don't want you to starve just because you're still learning the finer points of control." "But how did you ...?" "Don't try to figure it out, Candy," Sweetie said as she climbed into her chair. "She has eyes in the back of her head or something." Rarity glanced at her sister. "And take that ridiculous thing off your head." Sweetie's gaze flicked over to me as I made another attempt to use the fork with magic. "Um ..." "Wherever did you get that?" "Pinkie Pie stopped by while you were helping Candy with her mane," Sweetie explained. "She handed me this, said something about Candy having trouble with sharp objects, and left." She glanced over to me. "No offense." How did Pinkie even know ...? You know what? Never mind. I decided to take the earlier advice and not waste brainpower trying to figure out how Pinkie operated. I smiled at Sweetie Belle. "None taken. I'm getting better, though." "In either case, Sweetie, please return to your breakfast," said Rarity. "You don't want to be late for school." "It's the last day of the semester anyway." "Oh, is it?" I asked. Sweetie smiled. "Yep! So now we have the whole summer for crusading!" Rarity narrowed her eyes slightly. "We?" "Um, yeah ... Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and me. The three of us. Like always." Rarity sighed. "You're as transparent as glass. I know your friends are up to something. Please tell me you'll listen to the voice of reason." Was she referring to me? Wasn't that a huge bet placed on my supposed maturity? Sweetie spread her fore-hooves. "What? I'm just going to show her the clubhouse and introduce her to my friends. That's all." She paused when Rarity looked dubious. "I'm keeping my promise! Pinkie would've said something if I wasn't." "Very well." Rarity turned to me. "Speaking of school, I should inquire about getting you enrolled come this fall. Though I imagine you're at high school level now." "Yeah, that's what I was attending for awhile, um, back home," I said. "Aw, that's too bad that we won't be going to the same school together," Sweetie Belle said. I wouldn't have minded some private tutoring in the meantime, if only to learn more about this world, though I supposed I could use Twilight's library for that. "That reminds me, Rarity, I need to go see Twilight sometime today." "Oh?" Rarity inquired. "I had a dream that may have had something to do with the pendant again. Princess Luna suggested I talk to her." At the mention of the princess, Sweetie's pupils shrank slightly. "Perhaps you can stop over after you've visited with Sweetie's friends. That will give you a solid morning of practice with your magic." I glanced at Sweetie Belle. Her gaze flicked over to me for a moment, then lowered to her meal. I was sorely tempted to call her out on her own dream, but maybe that was being unfair. I had to trust that this grand meeting with her fellow "Crusaders" would be a non-event. The showers lingered a bit longer into the afternoon, sunlight only just trickling in as I set out from the boutique. Fluttershy accompanied me, having earlier offered to show me the way back to the farm. I glanced skyward and saw Rainbow Dash breaking up the clouds in a very leisurely manner, leaving one particular puffy white cloud alone. "I saw Twilight in the marketplace after lunch," said Fluttershy as we trotted towards the farm. "I told her you were interested in seeing her because of your dream." "So she'll be free later?" I asked. "She said you could drop by the castle anytime and to bring your saddlebag. I think she wants to send some books home with you." As the sun shone more in earnest, its light glistened on the greenery lining the road. The fresh aroma rising from the damp foliage and the deep earthy smell of the ground under our hooves had no equal in my memories. My mother had moved us out of our small town when I was very little, so I had almost no recollection of the countryside. Familiarity instead lay with the sights and sounds of the city. Not that this wasn't nice, just ... different. Maybe even a bit alien. "Candy?" "Oh, sorry," I said. "Saddlebag. Books. Got it." Fluttershy gave me a concerned look. "I'm sorry you're still having trouble with dreams about your friend." I shook my head. "It's okay. This was nowhere near as bad." "Do you need to talk about it?" Fluttershy asked. I wanted to keep my promise about not shutting anypony out, but what more could I say? The dream had not disturbed me quite in the way that perhaps Fluttershy thought. I had made a sort of peace with Michelle's passing. An uneasy one, perhaps, but it let me cope. "Let me see what Twilight has to say about it first." Was that a cop-out? I did intend to talk to Twilight later, and the subject of Michelle would have to come up. Maybe I should go visit Fluttershy afterward anyway. I swept my gaze across the apple trees as we passed through the entrance to the farm, their wet canopies glittering as if dusted with tiny jewels. Even as I watched, it faded as the raindrops evaporated under the brightening sunlight. Some of the trees already bore copious fruit. I didn't know much about apple farming, but I thought mid-summer was the earliest they could be harvested. Obviously, Applejack must have thought them ready; she approached the tree, pushing a low, wooden barrel ahead of her with her head to join the half-dozen or so other barrels already arrayed about the trunk. She looked towards us and waved a hoof. "Afternoon, y'all! At least that lazy pegasus got the clouds cleared up. Thought I was gonna hafta delay this." I glanced up again. The sky was clear save for that one fluffy white cloud. As I squinted, I spotted a rainbow-colored tail hanging lazily over its side. "Sorry if we're interrupting," said Fluttershy. Applejack smiled. "Nah, this won't take but a moment." I lowered my gaze to Applejack. "What won't take--?" Applejack turned her tail towards the tree, and I flinched when she let loose with her rear hooves. She bucked the trunk hard enough to shake the entire tree, spraying rainwater on all three of us ... ... and neatly dropping all the apples of the tree into the waiting barrels. I stared. "I ... what??" Applejack chuckled. "Still got a lot ta learn 'bout how things work 'round here, huh?" she said with a smile and a wink. A drop of rainwater trickled between my eyes and over my muzzle. I wiggled my nose to flick it away. "Heh, sorry 'bout gettin' y'all wet," said Applejack. "It's okay," I said with a faint smile. "And, yeah, I guess I do have a lot to learn." "Heart of the matter is, unicorns and pegasi ain't the only ones with magic." She swept a foreleg towards the rest of the grove. "Earth ponies know how the land works." I had indeed been guilty of thinking that earth ponies didn't have much going for them other than enhanced strength (Pinkie's brand of reality-bending aside). "So lemme guess what brought ya 'round these here parts," said Applejack. "Ya got invited by the Crusaders." "Yeah, Sweetie Belle said they wanted to meet me." "Yep, they be in the clubhouse already." She jabbed a hoof towards a gap in the trees ahead. The big red stallion I had met the first day stood just off to the side, tossing broken branches into a cart. "Just straight on ahead. Ask Big Mac fer help if ya get turned around." Big Mac? Given his cutie mark, I would have been very surprised if that wasn't short for Big MacIntosh. "Thanks." "Mind if I ask ya somethin' before ya go?" There was a question that used to make me nervous. Well, I guess it still did, just in a different way. "No, go ahead." "Ya tell 'em 'bout where yer really from yet?" "Not yet," I said. I decided to answer the unspoken question. "I'm not sure when I will. Rarity seemed to think I didn't need to rush it." "She mentioned that after we left the castle the other day," said Fluttershy. "Yep," said Applejack. "Not sure I agree with it completely, but it's really up to you." "I think she's worried about that challenge to her fostering application," I said. Applejack nodded. "Kinda what I thought, too." "You have any idea who's behind it? She won't tell me anything." Applejack looked thoughtful. "Hmm. Not sure I wanna second-guess her. If she doesn't want ya to know, I reckon she has a reason." I glanced at Fluttershy, and she averted her eyes briefly. Damn, they did know. Then again, what would the name mean to me? Getting out the mode of thinking I had to rely on myself for everything was hard. I was a kid who had been forced into being an adult, and now I had to learn how to be a kid again. Applejack smiled. "Mebbe jus' don't worry about it none fer now. But if anypony would be understandin' 'bout yer past, it'd be Apple Bloom and her friends." That did help. I had already spent more time than I should have worrying about what other ponies would think about me. "Thanks, Applejack." I looked past her. Big Mac appeared about to hitch himself to the cart. "I better get going, I wanted to talk to Big Mac for a minute." I cantered past her. "Hey, um, Big Mac?" He stopped and turned his head. He practically towered over me. "Eeyup?" "Hi. I'm the filly you took the hospital in the cart," I said. "Eeyup." I assumed that meant he remembered me. "I just wanted to thank you. I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble." He smiled. "Nnope." I paused. Was he expecting me to say something else? "Okay, well ... that's good. So, um ... the Crusaders' clubhouse is just through here?" "Eeyup." He pointed a hoof through a gap in the trees. Had I said something wrong? Too much? Not enough? "O-kay ... thanks. Uh ... sorry if I took too much of your time." "Nnope." "Er ... I just don't want to be a bother, you know?" "Eeyup." "Um ..." I suddenly heard a snicker behind me. I glanced towards a smirking Applejack and then back at Big Mac. My own lips twitched into a tiny smile. "You're a pony of few words, aren't you?" Big Mac's smile widened. "Eeyup." I spotted the tree-house easily. Fortunately, it appeared roomy enough for somepony of my stature. As if anticipating my arrival, Sweetie Belle poked her head out of the doorway and waved. "Come on up, Candy! We've been waiting for you!" Waiting for me? That sounded a bit ominous. No, I had to stop being suspicious of everything. How bad could this be? What would little ponies do to get their cutie marks? Could it be any worse than simple arts and crafts, or maybe some sort of sports? If so, all I had to do was play along with their little game and keep an eye on them. What could happen here on the farm anyway? I climbed up into the tree-house without much difficulty and stepped inside. Indeed, the little yellow filly with the big red bow was here, standing on a box next to a paper tacked to the wall. Sweetie Belle stood nearby, as well as an orange pegasus filly with a cerise mane and tail. "Hiya, Candy!" said the yellow filly. "I'm Apple Bloom." She pointed a hoof at the pegasus. "This here is Scootaloo, an' ya already met Sweetie Belle." All three suddenly shouted in unison, "We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" ... Had they rehearsed this? I glanced from one eager face to another and boldly proclaimed my skill in dealing with little kids via my stark silence. "So are ya ready?" said Apple Bloom. I glanced at Sweetie Belle, and her eyes shifted to the side. "Er ... ready for what?" I said. "Ta get initiated into the Crusaders, of course!" I stared. "Pardon?" Apple Bloom hopped off her box, and I got a better look at the paper on the wall. Several small pictures had been drawn on it, and each one subsequently crossed out. Was that a chronicle of their failed exploits? One was a drawing of a chicken and another of a pig. I didn't speculate too hard on those. "Well, ya don't have a cutie mark yet, an' that's exactly the kinda thing we're here fer," said Apple Bloom. "Um, you do realize I'm, like, five years older than you girls, right?" I said. "Even more reason why ya gotta join. Yer overdue!" "Wait a minute." I turned to Sweetie Belle. "Didn't you promise Rarity you wouldn't do something like this?" Sweetie scraped a hoof on the floor. "Um, well, yes, but ..." Scootaloo stepped forward. "She may have made the Pinkie Promise, but I didn't!" "An' neither did I!" proclaimed Apple Bloom. "So me and Scootaloo are in the clear. We can help ya all we want, and Sweetie can jus' come along fer moral support." Oh, spiffy. Scootaloo's face turned glum. "And we can make up for kinda messing things up for you." I gave her a perplexed look. "Messing what up?" Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. "Scootaloo accidentally let it slip to the wrong pony that Rarity wanted to foster you." Apple Bloom frowned. "Yeah, and now that mean mare Spoiled Rich is makin' all sorts of trouble for ya." Spoiled Rich? Seriously? I mean, yeah, some ponies had strange names, but come on! Scootaloo smiled and trotted up to me. "But if you get your cutie mark, then she'll hafta leave you alone." "Uh, I don't think it quite works that way," I said. Apple Bloom stepped up. "Don't worry, Candy, we know exactly what we're doin'." I had my doubts as to the objective truth of that statement. "We've got a sure-fire way of gettin' ya yer cutie mark." "They do," Sweetie Belle said when I glanced at her. She thrust a hoof towards Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. "They came up with it. Not me. But I really think it'll work." "Came up with what?" I asked warily. "We're gonna keep it a surprise," Apple Bloom said. "But from what Sweetie's done told us, we're sure yer gonna love it. An' ya don't even hafta worry 'bout gettin' the wrong cutie mark, cuz you'll be a natural at it!" I narrowed my eyes at Sweetie. "What did you tell them about me?" "Oh, you know ... things," Sweetie said, smiling. "What things?" "Things Rarity told me. Look, this is going to work. We -- they got this all figured out." "But if nopony tells me what it is, how am I going to do it?" I looked around. "You don't even have anything here that--" "Oh, but that's the best part," said Scootaloo, fluttering her wings briefly. "We have to go to the White Tail Woods." "The what?" "An' we're gonna start tomorrow mornin' so we have the whole day," said Apple Bloom. "Jus' meet us outside the farm here 'bout an hour after sunrise, an' we'll all head over together." "But--" Sweetie Belle stepped forward. "Candy, don't worry about it, they've got this. Trust me." Scootaloo turned to Apple Bloom. "I still say we'd have better luck in the Everfree Forest." Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "We're not doin' the Everfree, Scootaloo." Scootaloo smirked. "Now who's chicken?" Sweetie Belle smiled nervously at me. "Um, Candy, don't pay any attention to that. It--" "We're not runnin' into the consarned cockatrice again!" Apple Bloom declared. My eyes widened. "Did ... d-did she just say cockatrice?!" Sweetie Belle face-hoofed and turned to the others. "Not helping!" I sighed. "Look, girls, I'm ... not from around here. Don't take me someplace you know is dangerous." Apple Bloom waved a hoof. "Aw, don't worry none, Candy. The White Tail Woods ain't dangerous. Practically the whole town does the Runnin' of the Leaves there every year." I had no idea what that was. I eyed Sweetie Belle instead. She slowly smiled and nodded. "It's true, lots of ponies go there all the time." "So if I ask Rarity about it, she'll tell me the same thing?" "Yep, she would!" "And if I told her you wanted me to go to the White Tail Woods ..." Sweetie jammed a hoof to the side. "They do!" "Okay! If I told her they wanted to take me to the White Tail Woods, she wouldn't have a problem with it?" "No, not at all. Perfectly safe." "C'mon, Candy, it'll be jus' fine," said Apple Bloom. "And if we're with you when we're loo -- er ..." Scootaloo faltered when Apple Bloom glared at her. " ... I mean when we're doing what we're going to be doing, we'll get our cutie marks, too!" "An' that's what fellow Crusaders do," said Apple Bloom. "We help each other all the time like that." If they believed this venture could earn them their own cutie marks, I didn't want to be the wet blanket. How else would I figure out whether I wanted to stay or not if I didn't immerse myself in Equestrian culture? I was supposed to stop being suspicious of everything and start making friends. Maybe we'd have some sort of harmless lark in the woods, they'd cross off another thing from their list, and no harm done in the end. It also didn't help that pony children were so ... cute. So much for my hard-boiled New York exterior (if I ever truly had one). "Okay," I said with a sigh. "I guess we can try ... whatever this is." Apple Bloom smiled. "Ya won't be sorry, trust me." "Don't forget!" Sweetie Belle said. "We have to initiate her first." "Oh, right!" Apple Bloom said. She turned to me. "Ya ready?" The others gathered around me. I had the eerie sense of being surrounded. "Um, I think so?" Apple Bloom lifted a fore-hoof high in the air. Scootaloo lifted one as well and touched it to Apple Bloom's. Sweetie Belle followed suit and turned to me. "Candy?" Was that it? I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. I reached a fore-hoof forward and touched it to theirs. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS NEW MEMBER CANDY SWIRL! YAY!!" Good Lord. I had no idea what this would destroy first, my sanity or my eardrums. > Chapter 21 - Shadows From The Past > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Candy! There you are!" I stumbled as I emerged from the boutique after having retrieved my saddlebag. Twilight's voice had surprised me not so much for its presence as its direction. I had forgotten she had wings with as little as I had seen her use them. "Oh, hi, Twilight," I said as she landed before me. "I was just on my way over. I had to stop to pick up--" Twilight pressed a hoof to my shoulder. Her horn flickered, light flashed, and a biting chill seized me for a split second. "--my s-saddlebag ...?" My eyes widened as what had been Ponyville was now the inside of the castle library. "Did ... did we just teleport?" Twilight smiled. "I'm really anxious to hear about your dream in light of my new theory!" I stared at her as I shivered from the lingering cold, and my legs wobbled a bit. Twilight blushed. "Oops, I'm sorry! I forgot, your world doesn't have magic. Are you okay?" "I think so," I said in a steadier voice as the chill faded. "Maybe warn me next time, please?" "I will, I promise. Do you need to sit down?" I didn't, but I had a feeling this was going to take awhile. I took a seat near a single stack of books taller than me, arranged in a perfect tapering tower with the widest at the bottom and the narrowest at the top. "So what's your theory?" "First let me tell you what I discovered when I studied the residual magic from Chrysalis' spell," said Twilight in an excited voice. "Chrysalis was definitely trying to channel emotional energy through the pendant. That just confirms my original hypothesis that the pendant was designed to absorb unusual forms of energy." I surprised myself; I actually understood that. "So that's its original purpose? To absorb emotions?" Twilight smiled. "Now that's an interesting question! My testing confirmed that's one of the energies it can absorb, but there's much more to it than that. The complexity of the thaumic matrix is nothing less than astounding. Chrysalis may very well have only scratched the surface. She quite possibly could have tapped into far more power than that!" Had I not come to know Twilight as a pony nerd, I would have been alarmed at how excited she sounded at the prospect of Chrysalis using the thing for world domination. "Well, you did say she was single-minded." "Either that, or she's simply not as versed in this kind of magic," said Twilight, her eyes almost glittering. "But I haven't even touched on the most exciting part of my theory yet. The matrix is so complex that I can't see how something like this can be compressed into such a tiny space. There has to be a guiding intelligence behind it." My eyes widened. "Wait, you mean ... the pendant can actually think?" "It makes perfect sense. You said yourself that it pleaded with you not to give it away. And then there's how you had to coax it into accepting me as its owner." My heart fluttered. I quelled the urge to refute her reasoning, as I would also have to deny the presence that Princess Luna had sensed. But did I really want to accept the idea that I had carried something sentient -- or possibly even sapient -- around my neck for so long? "Um, o-okay. What's behind this intelligence?" Twilight's smile broadened. "That's the best part. It has to be none other than Starswirl the Bearded himself!" I swallowed. "Wait. You're not saying that Starswirl himself is in the pendant somehow? Didn't he live like a really long time ago?" "Well, no, not the Starswirl, of course," said Twilight. I let out a tiny sigh of relief, though my heart still raced. "And, yes, he passed on during the pre-classical period. I doubt very much even somepony as accomplished in magic as Starswirl could place his own spirit into an object, especially since he lived on well past the time period when I believe he forged this pendant. But he could create a sort of impression, a mental image, an ... an avatar of himself. Do you realize why this is so wonderful if I'm right?" "I guess?" I paused and sighed. "Or maybe I don't. I'm sorry, Twilight, I'm just not as versed in magic as--" "If I can find the right energy to infuse into the pendant, I just might be able to talk to this intelligence. It would be almost like talking to Starswirl himself! Some ponies can only dream of finding some long lost journal of his, but I get to talk directly to the most powerful mage Equestria has ever produced!" "You mean his avatar, right?" I said in a cautious voice. Twilight blushed. "Er, yes, of course, that's what I meant." She giggled and waved a hoof. "I know, I must sound like I'm fanfillying a little ..." A little? "But what really makes me think my theory is correct is your name." I gave her a dumbfounded look. "Huh?" "Your name! Candy Swirl." It took a moment to click, for I had never made even the remotest connection. "Wait a minute. Pinkie Pie came up with that name. It sounds nothing like my original name." "Yes, but Pinkie's magic works in strange ways, and it's entirely possible she may have been influenced by the pendant, thus establishing the connection." I again wanted to question the Princess of Magic. Hadn't I already gone down that route to my own detriment? "Okay, so ... why didn't Starswirl himself appear in my dreams to explain what was happening?" "Because you wouldn't have understood it," Twilight explained. "Starswirl's avatar likely had access to your memories and prompted you to think of somepony familiar instead. He would have sensed the Equestrian magic blocking your memory and was trying to help." I hopped off the chair. Irritation crept into my voice. "But he didn't do a thing until I actually came to Equestria. Why?" Twilight paused. "That I don't know yet. It's possible he needed access to the thaumic field of Equestria to accomplish anything useful." "And so he caused me to come here?" I demanded. Twilight's ears drew back. "I don't understand." I paused to calm myself. What was the point of being upset? Hadn't I already accepted living in this strange world for now? "Sorry," I said in a softer voice. "Remember when I told you about the alley, and what the pendant did to draw attention to me?" "Oh, yes, right!" "So are you telling me that Starswirl was responsible for that?" "It's possible," Twilight said in a contrite voice. "But realize that the pendant contains at best a shadow of his intellect and not his feelings. He may have sensed Discord nearby and took a calculated risk." Calculated risk? Was that what this was reduced to? I ... no, enough. I had to stop emoting and start thinking. Yet my doubts about this connection were not based on logic; it simply felt wrong. "Maybe I should tell you about my dream ..." Twilight appeared subdued after I finished my tale. "Hmm." "So are you saying that this avatar of Starswirl is still using imagery of my friend to tell me something?" Twilight considered. "It's certainly possible. It may even be reiterating the same message that was in my own dream." "Princess Luna mentioned you had some interesting dreams." Twilight's expression brightened. "Yes, I did! It's ultimately what inspired this theory. I dreamed I found an abandoned castle, yet when I entered, the place was spotless, and all the torches were lit. The courtyard had a huge banner of Starswirl the Bearded. I found a hoof-written note attached to it in archaic Equestrian." I tilted my head. "Er ... archaic Equestrian?" "Yes, it read: thou art to meet me at thy convenience in the royal wing. It matched perfectly old hoofwriting of Starswirl I had seen in the Canterlot archives, so I was sure it was from him. But when I got there, I found two rooms. Oddly, one was locked and had a sign on the door that read: disturbeth not. The other was open, but empty, save for the pendant. The pendant was inert, like it had been completely drained of magic." Twilight smiled. "So do you see the connection?" "Um, sort of," I said warily. "I think Starswirl ... ah, I mean his avatar ... wants to talk to me! Your dream may have conveyed the same message, where your friend was trying to talk to the pendant. But he needs me to infuse energy into it to make it possible, so I need to ask your permission." "Huh? My permission?" "I know you gave me the pendant, but I still consider it yours," Twilight said in a softer voice. "There's a small chance I could damage it." I frowned. "Honestly, Twilight, I'm not sure I care whether it gets damaged or not." "I'm sorry?" "Maybe the reason it's still affecting me is because it's tying me to a past I want to leave behind." "But you said it was a symbol of your friendship," Twilight protested. "Yes, it is, but ... maybe a symbol of all the wrong things." I rubbed a hoof through my mane. "It's hard to explain. It's like it reminds me of all the bad things, but all I want to remember are the good things instead. I don't need a stupid piece of jewelry for that." Twilight drew her ears back. I could guess what she was thinking: how could I say such a thing about a valuable artifact? Or did she believe I didn't value my friendship enough? It had sounded right in my head, but the more I thought on it, the stranger it sounded even to my own ears. Maybe Fluttershy was right; I did need to talk to somepony about this. "I think I understand, Candy," Twilight said softly. "Do you even want me to pursue this?" I heard the disappointment in her voice, and my heart ached. Her willingness to give up this chance to speak to her idol spoke volumes of her respect for me. Yet even as much as I wanted little to do with the pendant anymore, I didn't feel right about denying her. I smiled faintly. "Well, that's just it. If you do manage to talk to this avatar, you can at least thank him for helping me." "Would you want to be here when I do the experiment so you can talk to him yourself?" Twilight asked. That was a question I really didn't want to answer. "When are you going to do it?" "It'll take me the rest of the day to craft the proper spell, so the earliest would be tomorrow morning." I uttered a weak laugh. "Believe it or not, I have something else to do. Which reminds me, I wanted to ask you something. Are you familiar with the White Tail Woods?" Twilight smiled. "Oh, yes, of course. It's just west of Ponyville." "Is it safe?" Twilight looked thoughtful. "Shining Armor swept that area with a contingent of guards while he was looking for the second changeling. He didn't find anything, so, yes, I'd say it is." "Okay, good." "I'm curious, though, as to why you asked." I rolled my eyes. "Oh, Sweetie Belle's friends want to go on some lark in the woods tomorrow morning, and they invited me along." "Do you mean the Cutie Mark Crusaders?" "Yeah, them." Twilight sighed. "Probably yet another scheme to gain their cutie marks. In that case, I'm glad you're going with them. They could use a little more supervision." I still didn't think I was the best pony to be in charge, but I supposed it would be fairly easy to tell if they tried something that was a threat to life or limb. They had survived this long doing this sort of thing without so much as a single scar to show for it. "If you could stop by the castle after you're done, I can share with you the result of my experiment tomorrow," Twilight said. I nodded. "Sure, I can do that." Twilight smiled. "Before you go, I have something for you. Since fall is the earliest you can attend school, I thought you might want to at least learn a little about Equestria itself." I smiled. "Yes, I'd like that. Fluttershy said you had some books for me." Twilight stepped over to the tall stack and gestured with a hoof. "Right here!" My smile faded. "Um ..." Twilight's horn glowed, and the stack lifted into the air, separating into its constituent volumes. "Now, I thought the best place to start would be a discussion of ancient history ..." A book sailed towards me and plopped into one of my saddlebags. "... the history the original three pony tribes ... then the founding of Equestria ..." More books dropped into my bags. "... the pre-classical era ... language and culture ... basics of pony magic ... founding of the diarchy ... famous ponies from antiquity ..." "Urf," I grunted when I could no longer distinguish the books from so many lead weights. "... oh, can't forget fashion trends, too, Rarity might be interested in that one as well ... advances in magical understanding ... further evolution of the Equestrian language ..." "Um, Twilight?" I said in a strained voice as my barrel sagged and my legs trembled. "... the basics on the magic of harmony ... theories of friendship relating to magic ... understandings of chaos magic ..." "Twilight!" " ... and then ... huh? Oh!" My legs gave out, and I collapsed onto my belly. "Maybe ... a little lighter reading ... at first?" I gasped as I struggled to breathe. "Oops!" Twilight blushed as she levitated some books out of my saddlebags. "Heh, sorry." My legs still ached from the load as I struggled to my hooves, my saddlebags almost filled to bursting, but at least I could breathe again. Twilight settled the remaining books back into a neat stack. "Please come see me the moment you're ready for more books." I gave her a strained smile. "I will, thank you." Laboring under the weight of the books, I envied the earth ponies. Applejack likely could have carried this without breaking a sweat. I glanced at the faces of the other ponies as if expecting to find one looking at me in amusement. Were those two pony children I spied earlier following me, or was that just my paranoia creeping back? Halfway to the boutique, I hatched a plan of dubious brilliance to lighten my load: levitate the thickest book and hold it before me as I trotted. After all, everything else I had held onto with magic seemed light as a feather. My magical glow enveloped a single book, and I smirked at my "prowess" at snagging a single object from a tight cluster. My grin faded as I clenched my teeth with the effort to lift it; apparently heavy objects remained heavy, magic or no. I trembled as I struggled to hold it before me. I took a single step, but while I moved, the book didn't. In a panic that I was about to bonk myself in the head, I let it go. It fell with a great thud right before my hooves, and my ponderous momentum sent me crashing to the ground as I tripped, plowing my muzzle into the dirt. I heard a burst of giggling behind me. I clenched my teeth as heat blossomed in my cheeks. I rose to my hooves, spitting dirt. I grabbed the book in my magic, intending to drop it back into the saddlebag. My hold faltered, and several more books spilled onto the ground. I stomped a fore-hoof and strained with the need for a much greater release. I really, really wished Equestrian had more swear words. Another spate of distant giggling didn't help, and I trembled in a mix of anger and embarrassment. Trying to put the books back with my hooves got me nowhere, not with the saddlebags still in place. With insufficient magical strength to levitate the whole thing, I had to crawl out from under it. It caught on my mane and scraped along the ground for some distance before I finally shimmied myself from its grip. I stumbled and fell back hard on my haunches. The giggling erupted into outright laughter. With a growl, I bolted to my hooves and whirled around, yet when my gaze fell upon my tormentors, I could only stare. The same two kids I had seen earlier now stood some distance away, still laughing. They were both earth pony fillies no older than Sweetie Belle and her friends. One had a pink coat and what looked like a little tiara on her lavender-and-white maned head. The other was gray with a braided silver mane, eyeglasses perched on her muzzle. They both bore cutie marks, but I couldn't make them out from that distance. They stopped laughing when they noticed me staring at them, but the little pink filly gave me a look far more pompous than I thought any child ought to be capable of doing. Yet it tickled a memory that had been buried for who knew how long, and my blush threatened to return. The pink filly smirked at me, whispered something to her friend, and both headed away with their muzzles raised snootily in the air. Seriously? I would have laughed if that memory had not impinged on my thoughts again. I uttered a sigh, and I just stared as they disappeared around the bend in the street. "Excuse me, miss, do you need some help?" I turned my head towards the friendly voice and saw a smiling mint-green unicorn approaching. She looked vaguely familiar. Instinct and irritation prompted me to refuse any help; fortunately, I had become smarter than that over the past few days. "Yes, please. Sorry, I'm ... just learning to use magic." "Oh, are you Candy Swirl?" She had a lyre as a cutie mark. I was sure I had seen her before. "Um, yes, actually, I am. How did you know?" Her horn glowed, and she lifted the spilled books. "Pinkie Pie told me about you earlier. I'm her friend Lyra Heartstrings." That was the name. She was with Bon Bon the other ... but, no, they were both changelings at the time. Perhaps she had seen my ears draw back a little, for she rolled her eyes and said, "And I am the real Lyra this time." "Oh, sorry." "It's okay, Candy," she said with a sigh. "You're not the first pony I've had to say that to." She arranged the books inside the saddlebags and paused. "Are you sure you can carry this?" "Now that I've had a little rest, I think so," I said. Damned if I was going to admit weakness after that experience with the two little pony delinquents. "I'm headed to the Carousel Boutique. It's not far from here." Lyra carefully levitated the saddlebags back over my barrel. I steadfastly refused to wince. "So you think you'll be okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine," I said in a slightly strained voice. Lyra smiled. "Glad I could help. See you around!" I watched as she headed away. I uttered a sigh and scraped a fore-hoof on the ground. Being subjected to a random act of kindness should not have left me so antsy. The memory flooded my head again. Michelle would have understood. She ... I ... really did need to talk to somepony after all. I stared at my surroundings as Fluttershy made some tea. Narrow crawl-ways and tiny staircases festooned the quaint interior of her hollowed-out tree cottage. I had stopped flinching at the scamper of critters over these animal highways, but mostly because I was too busy eying the creatures who skittered about the floor. Rather than running away as most animals would, they seemed genuinely curious, even excited, to see me. Well, save for the one little white bunny who sat a fair distance away, munching a carrot and giving me the stink-eye. Really, what was that rabbit's problem? "Here we go," came Fluttershy's cheerful voice, entering the room in one of her rare displays of flight, and then only to leave her hooves free to carry the tea tray. "Now, you were telling me about your friend Cherry?" It had not taken long for me to grow tired of referring to Michelle as simply "my friend." Her name was another that didn't translate well, so we had settled on calling her "Miss Cherry" or simply "Cherry" instead. It was the only word in the Equestrian language that reminded me of Michelle, as she had a fondness for that particular fruit. I took the proffered cup of tea in my hooves, deciding I had done enough damage with my nascent magical ability for one day. "I met her when I was about five, not long after I had moved to ... er ... well, the city back in my world that was like Manehattan. She was seven." I smiled. "I almost didn't understand her at first. She had such a thick accent." Fluttershy giggled. "I know what you mean. The first time I heard Babs Seed talk, I hardly understood a word she said." My smile widened slightly, but still had a bittersweet undertone to it. The memory those two little fillies had conjured would not leave me alone. "Cherry really helped me get settled in. She was always there when I had a problem or just needed someone to talk to. And, um, she talked me down whenever I tried to do something stupid." "What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked. I had almost hoped she wouldn't ask, but I needed the prompting. "I really looked up to my mother when I was, um, a foal," I said in a quavering voice. "I wanted to do everything she did. So I saw her once acting really uppity and snooty towards somepony." Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Really? That's surprising, considering what you've said about her." "Well, yeah, that's the point. I completely misread what was going on. But I was convinced that's what I was supposed to do, too. So, um ..." I blushed. "I sorta started practicing in front of a mirror acting just like that, all uppity and full of myself. Just like ... well, never mind. The point was, I acted really obnoxious." I had been about to say "just like that little pink filly with the tiara," but I didn't want to recount the whole embarrassing incident. Fluttershy raised a hoof to her muzzle. "Oh, my, really? You? Obnoxious?" Why was that damn bunny nodding his head? I tried to ignore him. "Well, thank you, but, yeah, I was pretty bad. Cherry was not impressed when I showed her. She forced me to talk to my mother about it, and she set me straight. She was just putting on an act for somepony, poking fun at the way somepony else had tried to act towards her." Fluttershy smiled. "It's funny, though, when you look at it now." She paused, her eyes uncertain. "Um ... isn't it?" "Yes, it is, actually," I said, telling a half-truth. The humor simply could not overcome the ache that the memory of Michelle had left. I trembled for a moment, long enough for Fluttershy to reach out a hoof. She hesitated as if uncertain as to what to do. The gesture mirrored my own feelings. I met her halfway, touching my hoof to hers. Her glistening eyes met mine, and I fought back the urge to cry. I hated this. I had already gotten past my guilt over Michelle's death, what more was there to express? Stop emoting and start thinking, that had to be my mantra now. I took a deep breath, and my emotions settled. I felt like I had accomplished something in that moment. I felt more in control again. I smiled more naturally. "Thank you." "Would you like to stay a little longer?" said Fluttershy. "It's not quite sunset yet." I tipped back my cup and took a large sip of the tea I had been nursing. "Yes, I would like that. So long as I get back to the boutique by -- ow!" Something had struck me right between the eyes, and I flinched when tea splashed over my fur. Fluttershy gasped, and her wings snapped open. I looked down and saw a half-eaten carrot in my teacup. "Angel!" Fluttershy cried, frowning. "Stop being a naughty bunny!" The white bunny folded his forelegs and gave both of us an indignant look. "What was that all about?" I said. Fluttershy blushed faintly. "Um, I guess I should've said something when you came in, but you're sitting in Angel's favorite chair." Angel thumped a back foot and frowned at me. I set down the cup. "Maybe I should get going after all." "Oh, please, don't worry about Angel, he just--" "No, it's okay, Fluttershy," I said, forcing a smile. "I'm anxious to start reading some of those books that Twilight gave me anyway." Fluttershy slowly smiled. "All right. Just remember, you can come see me anytime you want." Perhaps Angel's intervention had been timely. I had intended to spend the rest of the afternoon with Fluttershy recalling the happy memories of Michelle, but even those threatened to drive me to tears. I needed to move on somehow without forgetting her, and I had no idea where to start. If only she would stop messing with my dreams. > Chapter 22 - Found > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "And just where do you think you're going?" My ears drew back. I had lived with Rarity for only two full days, but I already recognized that tone of voice. I turned away from the morning sunshine flooding the boutique from the open front door. "Is something wrong?" Rarity trotted up to me. "Certainly you're not going out with your mane in that state." "What? I washed it! And brushed it out, too." "Washing and brushing are not the same as styling, dear." I stared. "You're kidding, right? It's the weekend, and I'm going to be in a forest all morning." Rarity lifted her muzzle. "That's no excuse for not looking your best. Now come along, and let me see if I can tease your hair into something halfway manageable." "But--!" "Ahem. Who's the fosterer here, you or me?" My ears drooped, and I just barely resisted rolling my eyes. "You," I muttered. She smiled, and with a glow from her horn, the front door swiftly closed. "Then come along." Wow. Seriously, I had not expected Rarity to fall into this role so quickly or completely. Was this what I really wanted? Well, yes, but I was still a teenager, pony or no. And, to be honest, my mane was a mess; I had just hoped Rarity wouldn't notice. "I'm going to be late, you know," I grumbled as I followed her into the parlor. "Your friends can wait a little longer," Rarity said in a lofty voice as her magic grabbed a brush and a comb. "You didn't make Sweetie Belle wait." "She knows how to properly style her mane and tail in the mornings. Once you do, I'm sure you'll be able to keep to your appointments better. Now, hold still." Despite uttering a dramatic sigh, I let a small smile flicker across my muzzle. I had actually enjoyed that harmless spat. "To be honest, Candy, I think the Crusaders are far too wound up about attaining their cutie marks," Rarity said as she slid the brush through my thick mane. "I would be quite happy if you didn't emulate them." "Believe me, I'm not intending to. I don't even know yet what I want to do in Equestria." "Even though I do intend to employ you in the boutique, please don't feel obligated to follow a future in fashion. Whatever your talent is, it will come when the time is right." "So when it does happen, it just ... happens?" I asked. "A cutie mark just appears one day?" Rarity carefully brushed hair back from my eyes. "Usually after you have done something related to your true talent. Then it's not really all that much a surprise." She trotted around me, and I caught a glimpse of the three diamonds gracing her flank. "Is it insulting to admit when you don't know what a pony's cutie mark means?" Rarity worked on a tangle in my mane. "Not at all! Most ponies are more than happy to talk about their cutie marks." "Then what does yours mean? I've been struggling to relate it to what you do now." Rarity smiled. "I have an affinity for gems. My magic can detect them practically anywhere, which is how I maintain my stock. Though it goes beyond that. It also represents my sense of refinement, and the ability to bring out the beauty in anypony." That actually made sense. "And I'm not too old to still not have one?" Rarity grasped my mane in her magic and started twining it into a simple braid. It was nowhere near as elaborate as what they did at the spa, but it looked like it would hold my hair together better. "No, you most certainly aren't, regardless of what the Crusaders -- or anypony else -- might have to say about it." My eyebrows rose slightly. "Anypony else?" Rarity cleared her throat. "Ah ... forget I said that. The point is, there's no rule which dictates when you acquire your cutie mark." She paused. "Which does remind me, do you have any idea what the Crusaders are up to this morning? Sweetie Belle left before I could ask her." I had wondered if Rarity had an ulterior motive for side-tracking me. "Sorry, I don't, other than it involves looking for something in the White Tail Woods." Rarity sighed. "I suppose I should be glad they're not intending to visit the Everfree." "Uh, yeah, I got the idea I should stay away from there." "Please do, and see that they do as well." She paused in her braiding to apply the comb to a few last recalcitrant hairs. "And one more thing, Candy. Please make sure that, no matter who you meet, you remain polite at all times." "Including Spoiled Rich?" Rarity nearly dropped the comb. "Sweetie Belle told you, didn't she? Even after I had asked her not to." "It wasn't her fault. Her friend Scootaloo mentioned it." "Really, Rainbow Dash is a good friend, but she's sometimes a bad influence on that filly," said Rarity. "When the schoolfoals had to be escorted during this summit mess, Applejack told me she caught Rainbow Dash trying to teach Scootaloo how to fight changelings with her bare hooves." Given what I knew of Rainbow, I was not at all surprised. "Are they related at all?" "No, but Scootaloo might as well be Rainbow's number one fan. And Rainbow Dash did sort of unofficially 'adopt' Scootaloo as a little sister." Rarity finished braiding my mane and took a step back, uttering a sigh. "Well, that's better, anyway. I'll use some hair clips to hold the rest together. Your tail is at least passable." "I'm sure it will be fine, Rarity." In a softer voice I added, "But thank you. I never had quite this much hair to care for in my original form." Rarity smiled as she levitated hair clips into place. "Perhaps I am being a little overbearing. I know I said I would never think to replace your mother, but I want to give you something." My eyes misted, but my voice remained steady. "I appreciate that." "Which, of course, implies you will strive to fulfill your role as the rebellious and moody teenager." I smirked. "Yeah, pretty much." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Whatever will I do with you, Candy Swirl?" I broke the ensuing silence with a snort, and we both laughed. "Look at it this way. I'm giving you practice for when Sweetie Belle gets to be my age." Rarity narrowed her eyes, though one corner of her mouth was still upturned. "Now you're just being a wise-flank." "Maybe." "In that case, off with you!" Rarity said as she put the brush and comb away. "And give me some peace this morning." I giggled as I headed out. I needed that. Maybe now I could face the rest of the day. As I turned down the road leading to the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres, I spotted Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle standing just outside the farm, both with saddlebags draped across their barrels. A third set, somewhat more worn and larger than the others, sat on the ground nearby. Apple Bloom held a piece of paper in her hoof. Their voices drifted to me as I approached. "Goggles?" Apple Bloom called out. Sweetie Belle glanced through the contents of their saddlebags. "Check!" "Mallet?" "Check!" I blinked. Mallet? "Rope?" "Check!" "Net?" "Um, check, but it's a little frayed at one end." "Pith helmet?" "Check, but Pinkie needs it back by this afternoon." "Um, girls?" I said in a tentative voice. "Sorry I'm late." Apple Bloom smiled as she turned her head towards me. "Hiya, Candy! No problem. It gave us a chance ta do some recon." I tilted my head. "Recon?" "Be with ya in a minute!" Apple Bloom dropped her gaze to her paper. "Spray paint?" "Check!" said Sweetie Belle. "That thing I found behind the barn that I don't know what it does but looked dang useful anyway?" Sweetie took a dubious look into Apple Bloom's saddlebag. "Um, check. I think." "Code words?" "Oh! No, we only did Scootaloo's," said Sweetie. "We were going to wait until Candy showed up before doing the rest." Apple Bloom grinned and stuffed the paper into her saddlebags. "Then we're all ready, 'cept fer that." I frowned slightly. "Seriously, girls, just what are you planning to do in that -- gah!" I reared back and stumbled, nearly falling on my haunches as an orange blur buzzed across my path. Only when it zipped around and came to a literal screeching halt did it resolve itself as a helmeted Scootaloo riding a wooden scooter, her wings still fluttering like an engine in neutral. "I found something!" Scootaloo cried, her smile wide. "There's this--" "Code word!" both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle cried. "Oh, um, it's scooter-awesome. Anyway, I saw this big branch on the ground that's got some of that green goo at the end. It's gotta be somewhere around there!" My eyes widened. Green goo? "Good work, Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom cried. "We'll all get our cutie marks fer sure!" I struggled not to sigh in exasperation. Their inventory already made it painfully clear they wanted not only to hunt something living but catch it as well. Twilight had claimed the woods safe, but did that include its flora and fauna? Most of the creatures I could think of that left slime trails (in my very limited knowledge of nature) were relatively harmless, but for all I knew, Equestria had fire-breathing, pony-eating giant snails. "Look, girls, if you're looking to track down something dangerous, I -- oof!" Sweetie Belle had levitated the saddlebag on the ground and dropped it over my barrel. "Nope, not dangerous at all," Apple Bloom called out. "Not if yer with us. Okay, now, code words." Apple Bloom looked thoughtful for a moment. "Mine'll be 'applesauce!'" "Hmm," Sweetie murmured. "So for me, um ... 'sweet-stuff!'" "I already have mine," Scootaloo said. "So what 'bout you, Candy?" Apple Bloom said. The obvious question sprang to mind: why did we need codewords? In retrospect, perhaps I should have made the connection, but these were kids. Surely they had been impressed as to the dangers of that sort of thing. "Fine," I sighed. "My code word will be, uh, 'Cherry.'" Apple Bloom headed down the road. "Okay, Crusaders, let's go!" I nearly trotted into Scootaloo when her wings stopped, bringing her scooter to an abrupt halt. Before I could say a word, she face-hoofed and said, "Ugh, maybe we shoulda taken the road anyway." The road out of the farm would have skirted the southern edge of town -- the same route I had taken to the hospital that first day -- and swung around towards the forest, but the Crusaders had been impatient and thus had chosen to cut through Ponyville instead. As I looked ahead, my gaze fell on the same two little fillies I had seen the day before trotting directly towards us. The pink one wore a self-satisfied smile and bore a cutie mark which looked much like the tiara she wore on her head. The gray one had what looked like a spoon with a heart at one end. "Don't tell 'em nothin' 'bout what we're doin'!" Apple Bloom said in an urgent voice. "They ain't got no right knowin' our bizness!" The little pink one spoke. "Like I'd be interested in what obviously low-brow activities you and your lot are preparing to do, hayseed." I raised an eyebrow. "Ya got a funny way of showin' how ya don't care, Diamond," Apple Bloom muttered. "Haven't you already filled your meanness quota for this week at school?" Sweetie Belle said. "More like for the whole semester," Scootaloo murmured. So apparently Equestria was not immune to bullies, but, still, this seemed almost surreal. "Oh, but I just had to confirm what I suspected all along," said Diamond with a smirk. She lifted her gaze to me. "That you just couldn't resist associating with this blank-flank freak." Had she actually directed that at me? Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Diamond? Give that blank-flank stuff a rest. It's getting sooo old!" Apple Bloom jumped forward. "She ain't no freak!" Diamond gave Apple Bloom a supercilious look and lifted her muzzle. She glanced at me again. "Really, now? No idea how she got here? No idea of her parentage? No cutie mark? Really, I thought even the vaunted Crusaders could do better than this." Her gray companion giggled. My God, was this little pony for real? Sure, I wasn't an adult quite yet, but the idea that she felt so full of herself that she thought she could insult somepony several years her senior with impunity almost made me feel sorry for her. Almost. Apple Bloom stood muzzle-to-muzzle with Diamond. "I'd pit her blank-flank against yer fancy-schmancy cutie mark any day of the week, Diamond Tiara! She's done more in her short time in Ponyville than you ever did yer whole dang life!" I have? What the hell did Sweetie tell them about me? Diamond gave Apple Bloom a lofty look. "Hmph. Really. Then why is she still a blank-flank? For all you know, she's so defective she can't even get a cutie mark." The gray one giggled again. "Yeah. Bet she'd just be a total blank-flank all her life no matter what she does. So pitiful." Oh, yeah, great comeback, flunky. "Don't call her that!" Scootaloo snapped with a vitriol that surprised me, her wings fluttering. "She's not defective!" Diamond narrowed her eyes at Scootaloo. "Figures you'd be the one defending her. A pegasus your age who can't even fly." Scootaloo's ears drooped, and her face fell, her eyes glistening. Oh, fuck that. "Hey, Diamond Tiara?" Diamond rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "Yes?" she said without deigning to look at me. "With that huge ego of yours, how do you fit that swelled head through doorways?" Dead silence fell and Diamond's jaw with it, her gaze snapping towards me as her pupils shrank to points. Scootaloo fell off her scooter and rolled on her back, howling with laughter. The other Crusaders followed suit, and Diamond Tiara clenched her teeth so hard I could hear them grinding above the sound of my companions' mirth. Even the little gray pony beside her hid a brief grin behind her hoof. "You won't think this is so funny after my mother is through with this blank-flank transplant!" Diamond bellowed. "So big, useless egos must run in the family," I deadpanned. Diamond stomped her fore-hooves. "I've had enough of this! Come on, Silver! We've got better things to do than associate with the common rabble!" Silver? Oh, let me guess: her full name was Silver Spoon. Jesus, these names. Both fillies thrust their muzzles into the air and trotted off, but I saw Diamond urging Silver to a canter as my friends laughed until tears ran down their faces. I allowed myself a slight snicker. "Oh, wow, Candy, you got her so good!" Scootaloo said as she righted herself on her hooves. "Now I know yer gonna get yer cutie mark fer sure today!" Apple Bloom said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "With as mighty brave as ya were jus' now!" Some of my smile faded. "Um, brave?" "Well, I reckon she's gonna go to her mother 'bout this." "Okay, yeah, but ... should I be worried about that?" Sweetie Belle stepped up to me, her own mirth fading rapidly. "You mean you don't know?" "Know what?!" I cried in exasperation. "Her mother is Spoiled Rich." "Her ... I ... she ..." I sputtered. I sighed and face-hoofed. "Great." Sweetie gave me a concerned look. "You okay, Candy?" "Of course she is!" Apple Bloom declared, smiling. "Who wouldn't be after gettin' a good one on Diamond Tiara!" "I can't wait to tell Rainbow Dash about this," said Scootaloo as she climbed back on her scooter. "That was awesome." My ears drooped. Yes, let's find ways for it get back even faster to Rarity. Brilliant. "I'm sorry about this," said Sweetie in a contrite voice. "I thought you knew who she was. I keep forgetting you're not from around here." I sighed. "Not your fault. Come on, we better get going so we can ... um, whatever it is we're doing." "Onward, Crusaders!" Apple Bloom declared as she took the lead. The tall trees of the forest imposed a quiet more gentle than even the laid back pace of Ponyville. The only sound was the rustling of the leaves in the breeze, the chirping of birds, and the soft beat of our hooves against earth. My ears constantly swiveled at the slightest noise, and my heart raced despite the apparent calm. Or perhaps, in a way, because of it. Apple Bloom's voice almost startled me. "So where'd ya see the goo, Scootaloo?" The little orange pegasus drove her scooter ahead, her tiny wings buzzing. Even if Diamond's accusation about her lack of flight was true, she certainly made good use of her wings on her little scooter. "It's just to the right of a big tree." "Um, Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle said. "Which big tree?" "Hang on, I'm trying to remember." Was the air supposed to be faintly electrified? I felt like I had hairs standing on end, yet when I ran a hoof over my mane, it remained as well-coiffed as it had been when I left the boutique. "Oh, I remember now!" Scootaloo said. Her wings revved, and she tore ahead in a cloud of dust. "Wait, don't go too far ahead!" I cried, galloping after her. The odd feeling worsened the further I went into the forest. My ears alternately twitched and flattened. My head snapped around when I thought I saw an ethereal shape at the edge of my vision, but nothing was there. I nearly bowled into Scootaloo when I came upon her stopped in a small clearing. She thrust her hoof forward. "Right there!" she cried happily. The other Crusaders had arrived and trotted ahead of me towards the broken branch lying in the dirt at the gnarled roots of a large and ancient tree. A shaft of sunlight breaking through the thick canopy highlighted the glistening, bright green blob of goo, perched in the "Y" formed by a fork in the branch. Apple Bloom entered the circle of sunlight. "Wow, yeah, look at that!" I narrowed my eyes. So we just happened to find this so perfectly situated on the ground such that this one lonely shaft of sunlight highlighted this bit of organic slime? Oh, yeah, totally not suspicious at all. "Girls, I think you really need to tell me what you're ... I ... w-wait ..." A wave of something like static electricity passed over me, and the skin under my fur prickled. I uttered a tiny gasp as a phantom image again played at the edge of my perception. My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat as I caught what I thought was a figure -- a human figure -- past a thicket of trees, but it vanished again when I tried to focus on it. "Look, another one!" Scootaloo suddenly cried. She zoomed on ahead, and the rest of us followed. My longer strides brought me there just ahead of Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, and my gaze fell on another glob of bright green goo, this time on the ground, and again, glistening inside a bright patch of sunlight. Apple Bloom lifted her head and thrust a hoof forward. "It's a trail! We got it fer sure now!" "Wait a minute, girls!" I cried, but they had already galloped deeper into the forest. I sighed and followed. I found them stopped beside a tree, its trunk smeared with more green slime. Apple Bloom turned to face us. "Okay, Crusaders, we're gettin' close! I think Candy needs ta take the lead now, since we're here fer her cutie mark." I marched towards them, my eyes briefly darting amongst the trees as my fur seemed to crackle, my ears swiveling madly. "Something weird is going on out here." I waved a hoof at the goo. "Don't you think this is a little too convenient?" "Huh?" Apple Bloom said in a perplexed voice. "Whaddaya mean?" I thrust a hoof back the way we had come. "Look! Each of these little 'clues' on the trail are perfectly spaced right we'd find them. You don't think that's just a little suspicious?" "Um, she might be right," Sweetie said. "Besides, look at this." She trotted a short distance away, where a narrow path led off through the trees and away from the trail. She pointed at the ground, "See? There's hoof-prints in the dirt here." "But they don't walk, they fly!" said Apple Bloom. "The hoof-prints end up ahead. Maybe they were disguised and then changed back." "Maybe she's right," Scootaloo said. Apple Bloom put a hoof to her chin. "Hmm. Maybe we need ta explore both the--" "Okay, enough!" I declared. "Tell me right now what you girls are after." Apple Bloom turned to me and smiled. "Changelings, of course." My brain stopped. I looked to the other Crusaders, and they simply nodded and smiled. "They never caught one of 'em, so we figgered it's gotta be 'round here somewhere, an' that trail jus' proves it. Now all we gotta do is--" "Are you out of your minds?!" I shouted. The Crusaders exchanged confused looks. "But this is right where the trail--" Apple Bloom began. "That's not what I mean!" I cried. "How did you ever get the idea I wanted to do this? Or that I was good at it? Or that it was even remotely safe?!" "'Cuz of the way ya bravely fought the changelings at the castle!" "I ... wh-what?" I turned to Sweetie Belle. "Just what did you tell them??" Her ears flattened. "I-I just told them what Rarity said, that you stood up to Queen Chrysalis. I never said anything about fighting changelings!" Apple Bloom stepped forward. "I heard that from Scootaloo. She's the one who said Candy fought 'em with her bare hooves!" "And I heard it from Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo said. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Rainbow Dash told you I fought changelings. Really." "Well ... um ... she said you acted really brave, so I assumed she meant--" "You assumed?" Scootaloo averted her eyes. "Um, maybe I exaggerated a little." "A LITTLE?!" Apple Bloom frowned at her companion. "Scootaloo, I swear, ya done messed this whole thing up." "Thank you," I said with a relieved sigh. "If I knew she hadn't fought 'em with her bare hooves, I woulda packed the bigger mallet!" I stared, blinked, and face-hoofed. "Look, we're here anyway," said Sweetie Belle. "Maybe we should at least investigate--" "No, stop!" I cried. "You don't understand what you're--" "... Wh-what ... huh??" I shivered violently and stumbled back a step. A sound like a gusty wind roared in my ears, yet the air remained deathly still. My fur felt like it stood on end despite still laying flat. I swallowed hard as my ears twitched and swiveled as if trying to find the source of words that had no sound. "What is it, Candy?" Sweetie asked. "Are you all right?" I gulped hard and spun around. My heart tried to pound its way out of my chest as my gaze fell on a ghostly figure, just barely visible between two trees along the trail of green goo up ahead. I shivered. The only time I had heard that voice since coming to Equestria was in my dreams. It couldn't be her. Not here. Not now. And yet as I stared, the figure waved an arm and retreated further into the forest. "Candy?" Apple Bloom called out. "S-stay here," I said in a shaky voice, not taking my eyes from the figure. Apple Bloom gasped. "Ya see somethin'?" "Is it the changeling?" Scootaloo called out excitedly. "Sweetie, get out the mallet and the net!" Apple Bloom said. I whirled around. "No! Stop! Don't do anything! Just stay here!" Their pupils shrank as they stared at me in shock. "We jus' wanna help ya with yer cutie mark," Apple Bloom said in a small voice. "Never mind my cutie mark! I don't have time to explain right now, but please, just stay right here and let me investigate this." The others looked past me. "Um, investigate what?" Sweetie asked. I thrust a hoof towards the figure. "You don't see that?" They looked again. "See what?" Scootaloo asked. My ears twitched. "N-never mind. Just ... just stay here. I'll be right back." I left the perplexed Crusaders muttering in my wake. Trembling, I stepped forward, the figure retreating as I approached, until I had entered a small, dark clearing. My heart leapt into my throat as the figure grew more distinct, and my legs almost gave out. The shimmering figure of Michelle stood opposite me. She wore a flowing robe of purple, her feet bare, looking far more healthy than she ever had in my dreams, save for being incorporeal. My throat had closed up, and all I could do was stare. I shivered. Her voice had a reverberating quality to it, unnervingly like Chrysalis despite the familiar cadence. She spoke Equestrian, but in an odd dialect. "Wh-what ... why are you ...?!"