• Member Since 24th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Goldfur


I'm a science-fiction and fantasy buff, creator of the Chakat Universe, and now dabbling in the MLP:FiM universe. I love a good story!

Sequels2

T
Source

Zevan was a loyal changeling and always did his queen's bidding, although he quietly questioned why changelings should end centuries of secret but peaceful intermingling with the pony population. After being expelled from Canterlot by the irresistible force of love and badly injured after crash-landing in trees, he had to reconsider his future. Ponies knew that changelings existed now, and the only example of them was Chrysalis' attempt to overthrow Celestia and their attack on Canterlot's population. His kind would be pariahs for the foreseeable future and maybe even their disguises would not keep them safe. A unicorn mare with a broken horn might do the trick though.

There is now a prequel to this story - Prelude To Change I suggest that you read that first.

Chapters (11)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 320 )

You have my interests so far. I will be keeping an eye on this.

Loved the story. The spark certainly shows!

Added this to a few groups. Hope you don't mind. :derpytongue2:

Formatting is a bit of a strain on the eyes.

3410539 In what way is the formatting bothering you, please?

You have my interest! I am enjoying your story!

P4

Wow, this is good. Great idea for a story. Liked and maybe will favorite

Oh man. I like where this is going between Zevan and Helping Hand.
I eagerly await the next chapter.

Couple of instances of "Healing Hands" in this chapter; I think they're all supposed to be "Healing Hooves" and you might not have got them all.

3416949 Oops! I meant to go back and check for the use of "Hands"instead of "Hooves", but I forgot. Thanks for pointing that out.

3418193
I'd think you'd put in Paws instead of hands.

Another great chapter and another great piece of artwork for it too! Keep up the good work!

P4

Fucking awesome. Thanks for the great chapter and story. Please don't stop writing.

Great chapter! Nice to see you introducing your own OC into the story! :twilightsmile:

Not really a fan of the "herd" concept in these stories.

Who makes your art? Adorable! Hnnng... :twilightsmile:

Loving the art and the story.

3500463 All the art is done by Foxenawolf. You can find more of her stuff at http://www.furaffinity.net/user/foxenawolf/

Loved the chapter! Did find a word missing in a sentence:

“You’re the least selfish person that I know, Cogs. You talk about how you were feeling depressed? Well, that was me before fell into my life.

I believe there is suppose to be the word "you" between "before" and "fell" in that third sentence. :raritywink:

P4

She had washed and groomed herself, and she was now wearing a simple but flattering formal lilac-colored dress that matched her mane nicely.

:unsuresweetie:awww no picture

She stepped in front of him, and before he realized what she was up to, she leaned in and kissed him.

:rainbowkiss: awwwww

:rainbowwild:and a picture

Fantastic chapter, but right before the picture you said that changelings were 'not infertile with ponies'. This is a double negative, on top of 'infertile' being unusable in that context ._. (if you think about it, it even seems to convey the opposite of what you intended.)

I managed to get the real meaning a few lines after the picture, but I highly suggest cleaning that up to something less confusing :o

I feel sorry for Cogs to be placed into this position, because it's kinda a corner people don't usually want to be in...

3528169
I almost noted this too, and you fell for the same trap I did. Goldfur didn't say infertile; Goldy said INTERfertile... meaning a lack of cross-species fertility... I think the phrase could possibly need a rewording to prevent this visual oops, but it's just that, a second-take re-read oops.

because I your broken

3528169 I've added a hyphen between "inter" and "fertile" to help make it more clear that I did not write "infertile", but otherwise the word was correct.

The male version sounds like some forms of succubi and incubi. A succubus has sex with a man, transforms into an incubus, and uses the seed to knock up a woman. And honestly I thought MLP changelings seemed more like G-rated succubi than the the fair folk.

3530236 Thanks for your comment. I think that the main difference that I am aiming at is that succubi and incubi are at least motivated by selfishness, and at most by evil intentions, whereas with these changelings, they are motivated by love for their partner.

I am also trying to keep the mature-level of this story to a minimum. I'm portraying how a changeling is undertaking a normal pony lifestyle, or as near a one as possible. But to show the conflict that Cogs will have, it was necessary to explain the hows and whys.

3528734 It took me a while to figure out what this meant, but it's fixed now. :twilightsheepish:

P4

Love it as always

Waiting for Chrysalis to stop by...

Hmm, I hope Healing Hooves is discovered a Changeling before Cogs is. I find that more interesting, dramatically.

Very nice wedding ceremony! I like how Healing Hooves stepped up to be the sister.

Healing Hooves is most likely to be discovered as a changling in the next few chapters due to changling illness and Cogs will have to due something about it, or it is the other way around.

Don't care as I eagerly spin in my seat waiting for more.:pinkiehappy:

3562381 Oh dear, I could totally see Cogs revealing himself to try and save Healing Hooves >.<

Small oops for Goldy to catch... "As far biologically possible," in the first paragraph. Missing an "as", but otherwise, any other typos that might be there, I missed.

There another option for foals.
Family Planning Center
Its a licensed Stud service. There's an office in Ponyville.

This fic is like a drug... I need to find other stories with a changeling main character but theyre so hard to find!!! HELP ME FIND SOME PLEASE??! :heart::heart::heart:

Twilight (aka "Purple Jesus") went forth among the afflicted and lo; healed them without thought of compensation. There was great joy, alas still no foal for the newlyweds...

(Meanwhile, Chrysalis plans a diabolical plot not involving flanks...)

Sorry, it's 3 am and I'm feeling wonky.

Oh, dear.
You see, the one thing i like about characters with permanent injuries is how they live with them and how it influences the slice of life parts... and now that its gone, the character suddenly seems much less interesting to me :ajsleepy:

3591086 trying desperately not to toot my own horn, but take a look at my fic, chronicles of no one, first fic ive done and id like some input

You mentioned amulet but there is no one on art ;p just little error

It was little hmm OP ? Yeah like he said 3591151
And you make Twilight do this like oh ah it was nothing. You could make her nearly pass out from energy used or something or even make this longer process.
Now our heroes come to dangerous closeness of Mary Sue

3591151 There's always the risk of losing someone's interest by doing something like fixing an affliction, but honestly, Lavender had already done all her adaptation to her disablement years before she met Cogs, so I saw no need more character development there for the story beyond what I had already done. On the other hand, I could introduce a bit more fanon with regards to the unicorn horn, and put Cogs deeply into Twilight's debt.

3591208
I said "less" interesting. I´ll stay here and watch how this works out. it was just one thing i didnt like, not worth unreading a whole story

3591207 The artist does Livestream commissions, but while she is doing them in the evening her time, it's right in the middle of my work day here in Australia, so it's hard to keep track of minor details like the amulet when I'm constantly pulled away from the computer by my work requirements. I might ask her if she can amend that for me.

And you have a good point about how Twilight didn't seem tired. A little edit might be called for.

Oh, gods the art in this story is just... hnnnng! I love it! I love how the artist gives the ponirs substance; makes them with fluffy fur! Diabeetus!

YAAAAAY HEALINGS

So glad it went well for cogs!

I suspect Lavender knows...

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!