• Member Since 27th May, 2013
  • offline last seen May 7th

White Dragon


If anyone wants to send me any fan art or cover art, send it to my deviant art page, I would love some fan art. Other Name RIspy5655. My Editor is PinkieLunaShy, for all the stories.

T

Pinkie Pie and the rest of the town like welcoming new ponies, so when a new family moves in so everyone is excited to welcome the new ponies, but what happens when one of those ponies isn't well... a pony? This is the story of White Dragon (My OC), Solar Star (My OC), and Dawn Pusher (My OC) and their life in Ponyville.

This is my first attempt at a serious story. I hope you enjoy.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 32 )

I'm going to give this a chance because you have such a fantastic chance to tell a truly remarkable story here. You have the chance to tell a story about lament racism, intolerance, and how a family has striven to overcome it. I can even see how it would effect the children. Being called half ponies, impure, and hell, you could even create something close to Right Wing Extremists. The real question would be how would this divide the mane six? I actually see Applejack being more accepting than most would think she would be. After all consider the fact that she's an Earth Pony, and Earth Ponies haven't always been viewed in the same light as the Pegasus and Unicorns.

The same could be said about Pinkie Pie. Not sure about Twilight though. I love Twilight, and I think she's one of my favorite ponies, but I have a feeling that somewhere inside of her she feels a little superior for being an unicorn. All in all I want see where this goes.

- LF

PleasePleasePLEASE get someone to check your story for grammar/punctuation. You lost me on the first page, I'm afraid. There was just too much wrong with it that I couldn't get invested in the actual story.

you have my attention, now make good use of it.

4278434 ya I noticed a few of those and i fixed some of the spelling ill take a longer look at it later

4278418 O.O You just gave me a lot better reason for writing this.

Hmm..this story feels and sounds like it would be a pretty nice concept as Lordfrieza said! It's something new to the table and I would love to see where it'll end up as well, you'll have my support! :derpytongue2:

I want to give it a change, i thought at first, it would be a Dragon and don´t like it, but i realized, that was only youre name.:twilightblush:
Well I start to like the daughter Star and like Lordfrieza mentioned, it looks like it could get even more interessting later.

I give you a thumb up:pinkiehappy:

Anyone wants to do fan art or cover picture msg me and ill send you in depth details about the family:moustache:

This might turn out out be very good

You know it mite be okay... but I dont know... I am finding it to move to quickly for my liking...

And they just move in and BOOM all of the mane characters just show up instently... I mean its your story dont get me wrong but it just... seams to move a little fast... Perhaps the next chapter, well see...

He got mad when she asked him if he could train her?

4627473 Its okay, Second chapter better then the first I think. But that could just be me... I'm now wandering where this will go, its starting to peak my intrest...

I just remember the first chapter barely, but i don´t know anymore who of the two was the mother, i maybe look later over it again.
I think it isn´t bad that it take his time, i only can image how hard it can be to write it. I just start to find out what i want to write and just try a few storys, that was when i started to notice how hard it have to be sometimes. But i thik Music keep the ideas flowing in one or two situations.

PS: It is actually not bad, i have to read the first one again, this chapter alone say not to much but it is written actually not bad.

"it's all ver simple I killed a dragon"

Say what now
:applejackunsure:

I'm going to be blunt the writing sucks dont get me wrong the idea is nice and the premise is good but it's poorly written and call this part a nit pick if you wanna wouldnt celestias fire be hot as the sun? oh and I'm calling bullshit on taking out 500 armed guards trained to fight and protect ponies with there lives if he killed a dragon he'd be tough but not invincible.

Bullshit with killing the 500 armed guards now this may be up but I went back to this and its gone sooo just gonna repost it I guess The idea is good, the premise is good, the writing sucks, Tia's fire should be as hot as the sun, and Bullshit with white surviving the fire

5558846
Celestia cannot use the full power of the sun or else everything might die in a large radius so it would be closer to lava, and White did not kill the guards. And you are dumb. Because I gave plenty of hints as to how he could survive.

5559279 shit sorry my dick of a little brother wrote that I actually really like the story

Hey White, I must say great story very good indeed.
There is much action (I like that) a very good plot (NOT the pony rear) and I think you did this very good. (Still didn't satisfy my need to read though (not saying the story is bad))

OP changling outa nowhere, down voted, sorry.

meh ya do wat ya gotta do meng...i lazy too lol

And how long is said college?

9983112
You waited almost 5 years to respond to a comment on a story that never updated after I commented, what a hero...

you betteror just hurry up.

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