//------------------------------//
// Chapter 20 - Membership 
// Story: Second Chances, Many Changes 
// by ASGeek2012 
//------------------------------//

I am standing in a tiny, unfamiliar kitchen. Canned and boxed food lie in haphazard arrangement upon faded and scratched counter tops of a decor twenty years out of style. Grungy appliances putter and growl as they operate well past their intended lifespans.

I stare down at myself. Human again. I have yet to dream of myself in my pony body. I don't know how to feel about it. My mind still hovers between two worlds; I look like Rachel Darrow but consider my name to be Candy Swirl. The dichotomy confuses me.

I forget my existential dilemma when the swinging door bursts open, and I gasp as Michelle enters. "Michelle!" I cry without regard to whether I might startle the poor girl. "What are you doing here?! I thought after the deal with the pendant you'd ..."

I trail off. She ignores me. Her hands tremble as she empties water into a saucepan from the ancient faucet. She is wearing the same rumpled nightgown as she did in my previous dreams. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. I swallow hard as the pendant around her neck swings about with her frenzied movements.

She sets the water on the stove. It takes several tries for the temperamental striker to light the gas, by which time it erupts into a burst of combustion which makes her flinch.

"I don't understand what this is about," I say, raising my voice as if hoping it would penetrate whatever veil separates me from her perception.

She lifts an arm towards a cabinet and lowers a large ceramic mug to the counter with a bang as if it weighs a ton. I shudder when its appearance tickles a memory. She pulls a container from another cabinet and starts spooning a dark brown powder into the mug, and the faint smell of processed chocolate fills the air.

I remember the mug I found on the floor of the living room and the spilled liquid nearby. I'm seeing Michelle make hot chocolate for me -- or rather, for the THING she thinks is me.

I look towards the door and shiver. If I push it open, would I see it again? To what purpose? To scream at it? To beat my fists upon it? I hate it with a terrible, dark passion, but I am lucid enough to know this is indeed a dream. It would be for naught. I would be venting against my own memories.

Michelle suddenly heaves a ragged sigh, her right hand clutching the pendant. She starts to whisper, forcing me to step forward to hear her properly. "--stop ... it's her ... it has to be her ... sh-she needs my help ..."

She closes her eyes, and the hand holding the pendant trembles. "Just ... j-just get out of my head ... I don't know what you're t-talking about ..."

"Michelle, please, who are you talking to?" I demand. I lift a hand to touch her shoulder, but it's as if an invisible force field surrounds her, like the one Chrysalis summoned at the summit.

Michelle shakes her head violently and forces her hand to unclench and fall to her side. She takes a deep breath, and a small smile comes to her haggard face as the water starts to boil. "She's my friend," she says, grasping the handle of the pan with two hands to keep it steady enough to pour, and even then much splashes over the counter in steaming rivulets. "I love her."

My heart aches, and I hastily wipe my eyes.

She stirs the hot chocolate, takes a deep breath, and cradles it in two hands as she heads for the door.

"Wait, Michelle!" I call out, even though I know it's in vain. She heads through the door and is gone. I swallow hard, my heart pounding. I steel myself for what I am about to see and barrel through the same door. "What--?!"

Instead of the living room, I find myself in a milky, star-filled void. Doors march in odd precession on either side, and no two appear alike.

"Hello, Candy."

I whirl around, and for once I greet the dark blue alicorn princess with a sigh of relief rather than fear. "Princess Luna ... I just ..."

"I am sorry to bring you to me rather than me going to you, but I sensed you were in no great distress." Luna utters a tired sigh. "And it's been a busy night."

"Busy night?"

"Let's just say there are three fillies who worry far too much about their cutie marks."

"Princess?" I ask in a pleading voice. "Do you know what just happened to me?"

"I sensed part of it," says Luna. "You saw your friend again."

"But it makes no sense. It's not a memory."

"Normally I would say that you invented what you believe happened prior to your arrival that night, but I again sensed the same presence that I had when you were struggling to reclaim your memory."

My eyes widen. "But what is it? WHO is it?"

"I do not know. Its energies were far weaker this time."

I remember the plea on my cell phone in that dream before I broke through the block placed on my memory. "Could it be coming from the pendant?"

"That is a possibility, yes," Luna replies.

"But I'm not wearing it anymore. Wouldn't Twilight get these dreams instead?"

"Her dreams were rather active tonight," Luna explains. "I was simply too overtaxed to visit them." She gestures with a wing towards another door. "Unfortunately her dreams have concluded, or I could have connected you with them. I strongly suggest you speak with her today."

"I will, Princess, I promise," I say.

Luna smiles. "Is there anything else I can do before I take my leave?"

"Just one thing." I spread my arms. "Why do I keep appearing like this in my dreams instead of as a pony?"

Luna considers. "It is possible you still do not quite accept your transformation. It is hard to tell. I have not dealt with something of this nature before."

I nod and sigh.

She drapes a wing around me. "You said yourself you are unsure of your future. I feel it is much like attaining a cutie mark: it cannot be rushed. The answer will come to you in time."

I manage a small smile. I think back to what she said earlier and realize the fillies she spoke of are likely Sweetie Belle and her friends. "Do you think those fillies you mentioned took your advice as well?"

Luna sighs. "Concerning ceasing to worry about what cutie marks they get, hopefully. Concerning their eagerness to acquire them ... not so much, I fear."

And Rarity thinks I would be a source of maturity for them when I'm still too anxious for answers myself. I sincerely hope that's not a recipe for disaster ...





"Ugh, don't tell me it's going to rain today!" Sweetie Belle lamented from where she had climbed onto the kitchen counter, her muzzle pressed to the glass. She raised a hoof to straighten her pith helmet when a twitching ear upset it. I had chosen not to speculate on the oddity of her head gear.

As for the weather, I had only vaguely noticed that the world had become gray and subdued with the fading morning light. My focus had been usurped by the fork which floated in my trembling magic. I faced the daunting task of bringing it closer to my mouth without sticking myself in the nose or eye. When Rarity turned her head to look to her sister, I took the opportunity to cheat: I leaned forward and snatched the morsel of food from the tines.

"Sweetie, come back to the table, please, and finish your breakfast," said Rarity. "The pegasi have showers scheduled until only noon. They promised sunshine the rest of the day." She turned back to her breakfast. "And I saw that, Candy."

The fork clattered to the plate as my magic faltered. "Er, what?"

Rarity smiled gently. "But I'll allow it. I don't want you to starve just because you're still learning the finer points of control."

"But how did you ...?"

"Don't try to figure it out, Candy," Sweetie said as she climbed into her chair. "She has eyes in the back of her head or something."

Rarity glanced at her sister. "And take that ridiculous thing off your head."

Sweetie's gaze flicked over to me as I made another attempt to use the fork with magic. "Um ..."

"Wherever did you get that?"

"Pinkie Pie stopped by while you were helping Candy with her mane," Sweetie explained. "She handed me this, said something about Candy having trouble with sharp objects, and left." She glanced over to me. "No offense."

How did Pinkie even know ...?

You know what? Never mind. I decided to take the earlier advice and not waste brainpower trying to figure out how Pinkie operated. I smiled at Sweetie Belle. "None taken. I'm getting better, though."

"In either case, Sweetie, please return to your breakfast," said Rarity. "You don't want to be late for school."

"It's the last day of the semester anyway."

"Oh, is it?" I asked.

Sweetie smiled. "Yep! So now we have the whole summer for crusading!"

Rarity narrowed her eyes slightly. "We?"

"Um, yeah ... Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and me. The three of us. Like always."

Rarity sighed. "You're as transparent as glass. I know your friends are up to something. Please tell me you'll listen to the voice of reason."

Was she referring to me? Wasn't that a huge bet placed on my supposed maturity?

Sweetie spread her fore-hooves. "What? I'm just going to show her the clubhouse and introduce her to my friends. That's all." She paused when Rarity looked dubious. "I'm keeping my promise! Pinkie would've said something if I wasn't."

"Very well." Rarity turned to me. "Speaking of school, I should inquire about getting you enrolled come this fall. Though I imagine you're at high school level now."

"Yeah, that's what I was attending for awhile, um, back home," I said.

"Aw, that's too bad that we won't be going to the same school together," Sweetie Belle said.

I wouldn't have minded some private tutoring in the meantime, if only to learn more about this world, though I supposed I could use Twilight's library for that. "That reminds me, Rarity, I need to go see Twilight sometime today."

"Oh?" Rarity inquired.

"I had a dream that may have had something to do with the pendant again. Princess Luna suggested I talk to her."

At the mention of the princess, Sweetie's pupils shrank slightly.

"Perhaps you can stop over after you've visited with Sweetie's friends. That will give you a solid morning of practice with your magic."

I glanced at Sweetie Belle. Her gaze flicked over to me for a moment, then lowered to her meal. I was sorely tempted to call her out on her own dream, but maybe that was being unfair. I had to trust that this grand meeting with her fellow "Crusaders" would be a non-event.





The showers lingered a bit longer into the afternoon, sunlight only just trickling in as I set out from the boutique. Fluttershy accompanied me, having earlier offered to show me the way back to the farm. I glanced skyward and saw Rainbow Dash breaking up the clouds in a very leisurely manner, leaving one particular puffy white cloud alone.

"I saw Twilight in the marketplace after lunch," said Fluttershy as we trotted towards the farm. "I told her you were interested in seeing her because of your dream."

"So she'll be free later?" I asked.

"She said you could drop by the castle anytime and to bring your saddlebag. I think she wants to send some books home with you."

As the sun shone more in earnest, its light glistened on the greenery lining the road. The fresh aroma rising from the damp foliage and the deep earthy smell of the ground under our hooves had no equal in my memories. My mother had moved us out of our small town when I was very little, so I had almost no recollection of the countryside. Familiarity instead lay with the sights and sounds of the city. Not that this wasn't nice, just ... different. Maybe even a bit alien.

"Candy?"

"Oh, sorry," I said. "Saddlebag. Books. Got it."

Fluttershy gave me a concerned look. "I'm sorry you're still having trouble with dreams about your friend."

I shook my head. "It's okay. This was nowhere near as bad."

"Do you need to talk about it?" Fluttershy asked.

I wanted to keep my promise about not shutting anypony out, but what more could I say? The dream had not disturbed me quite in the way that perhaps Fluttershy thought. I had made a sort of peace with Michelle's passing. An uneasy one, perhaps, but it let me cope. "Let me see what Twilight has to say about it first."

Was that a cop-out? I did intend to talk to Twilight later, and the subject of Michelle would have to come up. Maybe I should go visit Fluttershy afterward anyway.

I swept my gaze across the apple trees as we passed through the entrance to the farm, their wet canopies glittering as if dusted with tiny jewels. Even as I watched, it faded as the raindrops evaporated under the brightening sunlight.

Some of the trees already bore copious fruit. I didn't know much about apple farming, but I thought mid-summer was the earliest they could be harvested. Obviously, Applejack must have thought them ready; she approached the tree, pushing a low, wooden barrel ahead of her with her head to join the half-dozen or so other barrels already arrayed about the trunk. She looked towards us and waved a hoof. "Afternoon, y'all! At least that lazy pegasus got the clouds cleared up. Thought I was gonna hafta delay this."

I glanced up again. The sky was clear save for that one fluffy white cloud. As I squinted, I spotted a rainbow-colored tail hanging lazily over its side.

"Sorry if we're interrupting," said Fluttershy.

Applejack smiled. "Nah, this won't take but a moment."

I lowered my gaze to Applejack. "What won't take--?"

Applejack turned her tail towards the tree, and I flinched when she let loose with her rear hooves. She bucked the trunk hard enough to shake the entire tree, spraying rainwater on all three of us ...

... and neatly dropping all the apples of the tree into the waiting barrels.

I stared. "I ... what??"

Applejack chuckled. "Still got a lot ta learn 'bout how things work 'round here, huh?" she said with a smile and a wink.

A drop of rainwater trickled between my eyes and over my muzzle. I wiggled my nose to flick it away.

"Heh, sorry 'bout gettin' y'all wet," said Applejack.

"It's okay," I said with a faint smile. "And, yeah, I guess I do have a lot to learn."

"Heart of the matter is, unicorns and pegasi ain't the only ones with magic." She swept a foreleg towards the rest of the grove. "Earth ponies know how the land works."

I had indeed been guilty of thinking that earth ponies didn't have much going for them other than enhanced strength (Pinkie's brand of reality-bending aside).

"So lemme guess what brought ya 'round these here parts," said Applejack. "Ya got invited by the Crusaders."

"Yeah, Sweetie Belle said they wanted to meet me."

"Yep, they be in the clubhouse already." She jabbed a hoof towards a gap in the trees ahead. The big red stallion I had met the first day stood just off to the side, tossing broken branches into a cart. "Just straight on ahead. Ask Big Mac fer help if ya get turned around."

Big Mac? Given his cutie mark, I would have been very surprised if that wasn't short for Big MacIntosh. "Thanks."

"Mind if I ask ya somethin' before ya go?"

There was a question that used to make me nervous. Well, I guess it still did, just in a different way. "No, go ahead."

"Ya tell 'em 'bout where yer really from yet?"

"Not yet," I said. I decided to answer the unspoken question. "I'm not sure when I will. Rarity seemed to think I didn't need to rush it."

"She mentioned that after we left the castle the other day," said Fluttershy.

"Yep," said Applejack. "Not sure I agree with it completely, but it's really up to you."

"I think she's worried about that challenge to her fostering application," I said.

Applejack nodded. "Kinda what I thought, too."

"You have any idea who's behind it? She won't tell me anything."

Applejack looked thoughtful. "Hmm. Not sure I wanna second-guess her. If she doesn't want ya to know, I reckon she has a reason."

I glanced at Fluttershy, and she averted her eyes briefly. Damn, they did know. Then again, what would the name mean to me? Getting out the mode of thinking I had to rely on myself for everything was hard. I was a kid who had been forced into being an adult, and now I had to learn how to be a kid again.

Applejack smiled. "Mebbe jus' don't worry about it none fer now. But if anypony would be understandin' 'bout yer past, it'd be Apple Bloom and her friends."

That did help. I had already spent more time than I should have worrying about what other ponies would think about me.

"Thanks, Applejack." I looked past her. Big Mac appeared about to hitch himself to the cart. "I better get going, I wanted to talk to Big Mac for a minute." I cantered past her. "Hey, um, Big Mac?"

He stopped and turned his head. He practically towered over me. "Eeyup?"

"Hi. I'm the filly you took the hospital in the cart," I said.

"Eeyup."

I assumed that meant he remembered me. "I just wanted to thank you. I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble."

He smiled. "Nnope."

I paused. Was he expecting me to say something else? "Okay, well ... that's good. So, um ... the Crusaders' clubhouse is just through here?"

"Eeyup." He pointed a hoof through a gap in the trees.

Had I said something wrong? Too much? Not enough? "O-kay ... thanks. Uh ... sorry if I took too much of your time."

"Nnope."

"Er ... I just don't want to be a bother, you know?"

"Eeyup."

"Um ..."

I suddenly heard a snicker behind me. I glanced towards a smirking Applejack and then back at Big Mac. My own lips twitched into a tiny smile. "You're a pony of few words, aren't you?"

Big Mac's smile widened. "Eeyup."





I spotted the tree-house easily. Fortunately, it appeared roomy enough for somepony of my stature. As if anticipating my arrival, Sweetie Belle poked her head out of the doorway and waved. "Come on up, Candy! We've been waiting for you!"

Waiting for me? That sounded a bit ominous.

No, I had to stop being suspicious of everything. How bad could this be? What would little ponies do to get their cutie marks? Could it be any worse than simple arts and crafts, or maybe some sort of sports? If so, all I had to do was play along with their little game and keep an eye on them. What could happen here on the farm anyway?

I climbed up into the tree-house without much difficulty and stepped inside. Indeed, the little yellow filly with the big red bow was here, standing on a box next to a paper tacked to the wall. Sweetie Belle stood nearby, as well as an orange pegasus filly with a cerise mane and tail.

"Hiya, Candy!" said the yellow filly. "I'm Apple Bloom." She pointed a hoof at the pegasus. "This here is Scootaloo, an' ya already met Sweetie Belle."

All three suddenly shouted in unison, "We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

...

Had they rehearsed this?

I glanced from one eager face to another and boldly proclaimed my skill in dealing with little kids via my stark silence.

"So are ya ready?" said Apple Bloom.

I glanced at Sweetie Belle, and her eyes shifted to the side. "Er ... ready for what?" I said.

"Ta get initiated into the Crusaders, of course!"

I stared. "Pardon?"

Apple Bloom hopped off her box, and I got a better look at the paper on the wall. Several small pictures had been drawn on it, and each one subsequently crossed out. Was that a chronicle of their failed exploits? One was a drawing of a chicken and another of a pig. I didn't speculate too hard on those.

"Well, ya don't have a cutie mark yet, an' that's exactly the kinda thing we're here fer," said Apple Bloom.

"Um, you do realize I'm, like, five years older than you girls, right?" I said.

"Even more reason why ya gotta join. Yer overdue!"

"Wait a minute." I turned to Sweetie Belle. "Didn't you promise Rarity you wouldn't do something like this?"

Sweetie scraped a hoof on the floor. "Um, well, yes, but ..."

Scootaloo stepped forward. "She may have made the Pinkie Promise, but I didn't!"

"An' neither did I!" proclaimed Apple Bloom. "So me and Scootaloo are in the clear. We can help ya all we want, and Sweetie can jus' come along fer moral support."

Oh, spiffy.

Scootaloo's face turned glum. "And we can make up for kinda messing things up for you."

I gave her a perplexed look. "Messing what up?"

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. "Scootaloo accidentally let it slip to the wrong pony that Rarity wanted to foster you."

Apple Bloom frowned. "Yeah, and now that mean mare Spoiled Rich is makin' all sorts of trouble for ya."

Spoiled Rich? Seriously? I mean, yeah, some ponies had strange names, but come on!

Scootaloo smiled and trotted up to me. "But if you get your cutie mark, then she'll hafta leave you alone."

"Uh, I don't think it quite works that way," I said.

Apple Bloom stepped up. "Don't worry, Candy, we know exactly what we're doin'."

I had my doubts as to the objective truth of that statement.

"We've got a sure-fire way of gettin' ya yer cutie mark."

"They do," Sweetie Belle said when I glanced at her. She thrust a hoof towards Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. "They came up with it. Not me. But I really think it'll work."

"Came up with what?" I asked warily.

"We're gonna keep it a surprise," Apple Bloom said. "But from what Sweetie's done told us, we're sure yer gonna love it. An' ya don't even hafta worry 'bout gettin' the wrong cutie mark, cuz you'll be a natural at it!"

I narrowed my eyes at Sweetie. "What did you tell them about me?"

"Oh, you know ... things," Sweetie said, smiling.

"What things?"

"Things Rarity told me. Look, this is going to work. We -- they got this all figured out."

"But if nopony tells me what it is, how am I going to do it?" I looked around. "You don't even have anything here that--"

"Oh, but that's the best part," said Scootaloo, fluttering her wings briefly. "We have to go to the White Tail Woods."

"The what?"

"An' we're gonna start tomorrow mornin' so we have the whole day," said Apple Bloom. "Jus' meet us outside the farm here 'bout an hour after sunrise, an' we'll all head over together."

"But--"

Sweetie Belle stepped forward. "Candy, don't worry about it, they've got this. Trust me."

Scootaloo turned to Apple Bloom. "I still say we'd have better luck in the Everfree Forest."

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "We're not doin' the Everfree, Scootaloo."

Scootaloo smirked. "Now who's chicken?"

Sweetie Belle smiled nervously at me. "Um, Candy, don't pay any attention to that. It--"

"We're not runnin' into the consarned cockatrice again!" Apple Bloom declared.

My eyes widened. "Did ... d-did she just say cockatrice?!"

Sweetie Belle face-hoofed and turned to the others. "Not helping!"

I sighed. "Look, girls, I'm ... not from around here. Don't take me someplace you know is dangerous."

Apple Bloom waved a hoof. "Aw, don't worry none, Candy. The White Tail Woods ain't dangerous. Practically the whole town does the Runnin' of the Leaves there every year."

I had no idea what that was. I eyed Sweetie Belle instead. She slowly smiled and nodded. "It's true, lots of ponies go there all the time."

"So if I ask Rarity about it, she'll tell me the same thing?"

"Yep, she would!"

"And if I told her you wanted me to go to the White Tail Woods ..."

Sweetie jammed a hoof to the side. "They do!"

"Okay! If I told her they wanted to take me to the White Tail Woods, she wouldn't have a problem with it?"

"No, not at all. Perfectly safe."

"C'mon, Candy, it'll be jus' fine," said Apple Bloom.

"And if we're with you when we're loo -- er ..." Scootaloo faltered when Apple Bloom glared at her. " ... I mean when we're doing what we're going to be doing, we'll get our cutie marks, too!"

"An' that's what fellow Crusaders do," said Apple Bloom. "We help each other all the time like that."

If they believed this venture could earn them their own cutie marks, I didn't want to be the wet blanket. How else would I figure out whether I wanted to stay or not if I didn't immerse myself in Equestrian culture? I was supposed to stop being suspicious of everything and start making friends. Maybe we'd have some sort of harmless lark in the woods, they'd cross off another thing from their list, and no harm done in the end.

It also didn't help that pony children were so ... cute. So much for my hard-boiled New York exterior (if I ever truly had one).

"Okay," I said with a sigh. "I guess we can try ... whatever this is."

Apple Bloom smiled. "Ya won't be sorry, trust me."

"Don't forget!" Sweetie Belle said. "We have to initiate her first."

"Oh, right!" Apple Bloom said. She turned to me. "Ya ready?"

The others gathered around me. I had the eerie sense of being surrounded. "Um, I think so?"

Apple Bloom lifted a fore-hoof high in the air. Scootaloo lifted one as well and touched it to Apple Bloom's. Sweetie Belle followed suit and turned to me. "Candy?"

Was that it? I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. I reached a fore-hoof forward and touched it to theirs.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS NEW MEMBER CANDY SWIRL! YAY!!"

Good Lord. I had no idea what this would destroy first, my sanity or my eardrums.