The air is cool and damp, and the street lamps cast pale circles on the wet streets. The rain did nothing to wash away the grime, as if the buildings themselves somehow ooze the stuff like some urban infection. I cannot walk more than a few feet without feeling it attach itself to me like a leech, as if branding me.
If my mother ever found out I came here, she would be horrified. But, no, she ... she's dead. I have to keep reminding myself of that, even after three years. Yet I don't want to be here, either.
I look down at myself and gasp. I raise an arm and stare at my hand. It IS a hand! And I have feet again. Not hooves.
Hooves? That's a bizarre thing to think. What am I on?
That's just it, I'm not. Somehow people think I'm on something, and I have no idea how that rumor started. It eventually got back to Michelle.
Michelle! That's why I'm here! I haven't been able to reach her all day. She won't respond to emails or texts. God, I wish my aunt would've given Michelle some money out of my trust so she didn't have to live in this part of town. I don't care how much Michelle wants to help the community; she doesn't have to live inside the drug lords' territory.
My heart is racing. I'm already assuming the worst.
I race to the front door, trying to avoid stepping in disgusting detritus, everything from discarded fast-food meals to crack vials. I clamber up the stairs to the third floor. I utter a gasp as the hallway stretches out before me.
And stretches ...
And stretches ...
I start running, but Michelle's apartment just gets further away. I hear crying. Wailing. Begging for mercy. Is she getting beat up? Did one of the addicts she was helping go psychotic on her? Oh God, I have to get to her! I can't reach her apartment! Why can't I reach it?!
"Why are you doing this to me?!" Michelle's voice wails, and I feel an icy chill. "I thought you were my friend!"
I'm going to fail again. I can never get there. It always stays out of reach. It--
OH, MY GOD, WHAT?!
I-I'm floating ... no, ROCKETING down the hallway. My feet are not touching the floor. I'm cocooned by a weird dark blue glow. In seconds, I'm deposited before the apartment door.
"Go to her," a strange voice suddenly echoes around me. "Now!"
I'm filled with a confidence I never experienced before, and I kick the door, knowing it will yield. It slams open as if hit with the force of a pile-driver. The moment is quickly gone, and a strange sense of disorientation sweeps over me, the scene wavering for a few seconds before resolving itself into cruel clarity.
The living room floor is covered in drug paraphernalia, but strangely, there is no pattern to it. Just bits of this and that, like someone decided to take a sample of everything one could possibly buy on the street. There is a brown stain on the sofa and carpet. I recoil from it until I sniff the air.
Chocolate?
A mug lays on its side on the floor, but I ignore this when my gaze lands on the fallen teenage girl with scraggly blonde hair, her body clad in a disheveled nightgown. She rolls over on her back, gasping as if unable to breathe. Her eyes are sunken, like she has not slept in days.
Oh, God, she's dying.
"Michelle!" I scream, dropping to my knees at her side. "No, please ..."
She turns her milky eyes to me. "Wh-why ... why didn't you ..."
"I'm sorry I didn't get here earlier!"
She coughs and closes her eyes. "I-I ... sh-should have told me ... I c-could have helped."
"But I wasn't doing drugs!" I screech. I look around. "Oh, God ... but ... y-you were?!"
Michelle stares up at the ceiling, clutching the pendant between her breasts. "I-I can?? ... N-no ... who are you ... what ..."
I'm in tears, struggling to make sense of this. "Michelle, please, I'll get help, I'll c-call nine-one-one, I ..."
Michelle is paying me no mind. She's too far gone. My heart sinks into my stomach. She's dying, and I can't stop it.
"Yes ... I-I will ..." Michelle rasps. "P-please don't apologize ... I ... y-yes ... Rachel ..."
I'm almost too hysterical to answer. "Huh? Wh-what??"
"Take the pendant back."
"No ... no, Michelle, I gave to you as a sign of our friendship." I swallowed hard. "A f-friendship I just fucked up ..."
"Take it!" Michelle wheezes. "Don't ... d-don't give it up! Don't be p-parted from it. Don't ever let it be taken from you!"
"B-but ... I don't ... MICHELLE!!"
My scream simply echoes into the distance as Michelle breathes her last.
The apartment is gone. I'm on the street again. Feet pound behind me. I can't run fast enough. My sides ache and my heart is about to burst. My legs are lead. I turn down an alley, but it is a dead end.
"End of the road for you, bitch."
I gasp and whirl around. This ... this is new. I never had this happen before, but then again, I never got into the apartment before, either. It's the gunman from the alley. I back up until my spine strikes a brick wall. He steps up to me, pulling out his gun. I whimper and slide down the wall.
"You fuck up a life, you get yours fucked up in return."
I cower and heave. I have no more tears to give.
"THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH."
I gasp as the voice reverberates through the dreamscape, and the heavens suddenly burst into gorgeous starry brilliance. A huge silver moon hangs in the sky, far larger than I ever remember it being. My eyes widen as a graceful winged creature of deep midnight blue emerges from it. With her horse-like body, she looks like a pegasus, but ... no, she has a long tapering horn, which glows and fires a bolt of light down upon the frozen gunman, dissipating him like mist.
I'm staring in both confusion and awe as the creature lands upon her hooves before me, a crescent moon upon her flanks. She folds her wings and regards me with teal eyes. Her mane and tail flow like liquid night, stars sparkling in their depths.
"I am most curious," the strange equine says. "You are a very unfamiliar manner of creature. Unless you are dreaming of yourself in this form? Do you wish me to dispel it as well?"
"I-I have no idea what you mean," I sputter. "This dream isn't going the way it usually does."
"You have had this before? What is different?"
"Getting into the apartment. And the gunman. He wasn't there before. But ... this is my first dream after I was ... uh ..."
"After what?"
I realize I'm dreaming? That's never happened, either!
"I am sorry I must ask you this," said the equine, her voice becoming more serious. "But is there something you need to tell me?"
"I don't understand."
"About your real nature," she says, taking another step towards me, her eyes narrowing slightly. "What you really are."
My eyes widen. My heart races.
"What is it?" says the equine. "What is frightening you?"
I bolt around her and run out of the alley.
"No, please, wait!" the equine cries. "I only wish to understand! I only--"
I bolted upright in bed and panted into the moonlit room. My eyes darted about, as if expecting to find that strange creature standing there, but I was alone. I glanced towards the window and gasped, my eyes wide.
The moon! It had ...
It ...
No, I must have imagined it. For a moment it looked like the shadowy visage of a horned pony lay superimposed upon it. It was just the same silvery disk it had been before. Still larger than what I was used to on Earth, but inert just the same.
Only when I laid back down did I realize I was clutching the pendant in my trembling hooves.
"Calm down," I said in a quavering voice. "Just a dream. Just that same stupid dream."
Except it was not the same. It had always ended with me screaming in frustration that I could not reach Michelle's door. The strange equine was new, too. Was she supposed to be another pony princess? Why had I not simply seen Twilight instead? Why conjure another out of thin air?
Speculation was making me more upset. It was just a stupid fucking dream. It had no more relevance than any I had on Earth.
I was still dead tired, but I had a lot of trouble getting back to sleep.
Morning sunlight streamed into the room the next time I opened my eyes. I was relieved to have slept through the rest of the night, but not so much to find I was still a pony. I was still really bleary, and I hoped this world had coffee or some other form of morning pick-me-up.
The door was suddenly thrown open, and a bright pink pony cried in a sing-song voice, "Good morning!"
I must have jumped a foot off the mattress. Screw caffeine, that woke me up fast. Still, it took me a moment to recognize her. Only when she bounced into the room, and I had a better look at her poofy mane did I remember.
And I mean bounced, like her hooves were made out of rubber.
"Um, morning, Pinkie," I said. "I didn't know they allowed visitors this early."
Pinkie giggled. "Oh, I'm not a visitor! Well, technically I'm visiting you since I'm in here and not out there, but I'm a volunteer at the hospital, so I can visit special fillies like you. Well, volunteer-visit. Visit-volunteer? Volunteering to visit! No, wait, visiting while volunteering, maybe?"
"I get it!" I cried.
"Oh, good, maybe you can explain it to me later! Anyway, I have something very special for the very special filly."
Dear God, I did not want to contemplate what she had in mind. I guessed she was supposed to cheer up the underage patients, I got that, but she was exuberance on overload. "I really appreciate it, but I don't actually need anything right now."
"Oh, but you most definitely need my little surprise."
"But I have everything I need--"
"But you surely don't have this!"
I was struggling not to be angry with her. I was not a morning person in the best of times. "Why do you think I need something?"
"Because of how unwelcome your arrival in Ponyville was!"
"You don't need to make me feel welcome." I supposed I felt like being welcomed was akin to accepting my transformation. Not logical, perhaps, but my emotions were still a little raw.
She shook her head. "No, it's far more than that! And you really really need it!"
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do!"
"Really, I don't."
"But you do!"
"No! I don't!"
"No, you don't!"
"Argh, yes, I do!"
She giggled. "See, I knew you really did need it!"
My brain sputtered. My God, did she really do something straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon? And I fell for it?!
Taking shameless advantage of my shock, Pinkie bounced into the center of the room and spun around to face me. I nearly did a double-take when she suddenly had a top hat on her head and one of her forelegs wrapped around a cane. Where the hell did they come from??
No. No way. She was not going to ...
The day had dawned so wonderfully warm and bright ...
Yes. Yes she was. She was going to sing.
... and not a care to be had down on the old apple farm.
This must have been planned by the whole damn staff, for there was music to go along with her lyrics. I just couldn't tell exactly where it was coming from (or for that matter, the spotlight that suddenly shone down on her).
But the ponies were stirred by a worrisome sight
for they feared a fair filly had come to great harm.
When she stirred, it was to a great relief
and they were glad this filly was well.
But then they learned to their shock and grief
That of the filly's memories nothing rang a bell.
Wait, this was about me?
She was left without a single care
She was left to take a great fall
This is terrible and simply not fair!
This is not a fine welcome, no, not at all!
Where were her balloons, her party, her cake?
Where were the ponies to welcome her to their town?
No, to this an apology we must make!
For her smile that instead was a frown!
We are sorry, dear filly, for doctors and nurses in great profusion
We are sorry, dear filly, for tests and tests and yet more still
So please, dear filly, let there be absolutely no confusion
That you, dear filly, are most welcome in Ponyville!
And with the end of her song came a hail of confetti, materializing out of thin air.
I was left utterly speechless at first, mostly from the sheer absurdity of the experience. "Um ... I ... th-thank you," I finally said in a somewhat stunned voice. "That was nice."
Seriously, it was. Silly and over-the-top, but I had the feeling that was just par for the course with her.
She bounced back to me, all smiles. "Aww, I'm glad you liked it. And I'm sure if Dashie were here, she'd apologize, too, for the way she treated you."
Rainbow Dash likely had about as much chance of apologizing as I did spontaneously turning back into a human, but Pinkie wanting to apologize on behalf of that pegasus was sort of touching.
"I need to get going now, but -- oh!" She drew back from me when her ears suddenly twitched and her left foreleg jerked.
"Something the matter?"
"Ear twitch and leg jerk!"
"Um, okay?"
"That means you're going to get a new visitor you've never seen before. My Pinkie Sense is never wrong!"
Pinkie Sense? Okay, I was not taking that bait. This world was bizarre enough.
"Need anything else before I go?" Pinkie asked.
"No, I think I'm good."
"Okey-dokey!" She bounced away from me and paused at the door. "Now I hope you get your memory back soon, or I'll just have to come up with a name for you myself!"
I managed a small smile despite inwardly cringing at the prospect of Pinkie naming me. She waved before departing in another cascade of confetti. Just where did she keep all that stuff??
Once I recovered from Pinkie Pie's visit, I had a chance to do what I had intended to do when I had first awakened.
With some effort, I manipulated the pendant chain so that the clasp was in front. My heart was thumping as I narrowed my eyes, trying to get my hooves to move with a precision I was not sure was ever intended. Yet after the third try, there was a faint click, and the clasp was undone.
I closed my eyes and uttered a sigh of relief, then mentally chided myself for letting Twilight get to me. For awhile she had me worried that perhaps I indeed could not remove it myself.
The door opened. Nurse Redheart entered, pushing a wheeled cart. Atop it sat a tray with something that made my eyes widen and my mouth water. Eggs! Oh, God, yes! Thank you, alien pony biology, for allowing me this. As a human, there had yet to be a way to prepare eggs that I did not like (scrambled in this case).
Her eyes flicked over me. "You don't need to remove the pendant to eat breakfast, but if you do wish me to set it aside for you, I would be happy to do so."
"That won't be necessary," I said in a voice more curt than I had intended. I fumbled with the clasp, as closing it proved harder than opening it.
Nurse Redheart advanced. "Do you need some help?"
"No, I can get it, I--" It slipped from my hooves. I glanced down to grab it again and--
What? The clasp was closed? How did I do that?
"Apparently so," said Nurse Redheart with a tiny smile. She transferred the tray to me. "I will be back after breakfast to give you a bath."
"Thank you," I said, but she had already turned away and was heading out of the room.
I had to admit that I thought it odd that Nurse Redheart felt it necessary to bathe me. I was not physically incapacitated. Well, in their view. I felt like I was, since I still did not know how to do fine movements with hooves or use levitation magic. Granted, I was grateful for the assist, it just seemed a bit strange.
Nurse Redheart arrived soon after I had finished eating. "You'll need to remove your pendant first, of course," she told me as I was getting out of bed.
I knew that was coming. I started to manipulate the chain. "Where will you put it?"
"Just over on the table there," she said, pointing a hoof at the table against the opposite wall near the door.
That meant it would be out of sight. I felt my ears flatten. Damn expressive pony ears.
"Something wrong?" Nurse Redheart asked.
"Can we leave it in the bathroom instead, please? I'd rather it not be out of my sight."
Nurse Redheart did not appear pleased with this, but she nodded just the same. "Very well."
I removed it when we entered the bathroom, and it was placed on the counter. I could not help but keep shifting my eyes to it. I didn't think I enjoyed the bath as much as I had hoped. Regardless, I was clean, and that shampoo she used on my mane and tail made those day-glo colors become even brighter in hue as I had feared.
I flinched when Nurse Redheart swept up the pendant in her fore-hoof. "Just bringing this into the room for you," she said with a smile.
I forced a small smile and a nod in return. God, I needed to stop being so anxious. She placed it on the table, right near the edge closest to the door before directing me to a towel spread out on the floor.
I sat down on my haunches as Nurse Redheart fetched a brush from a drawer of the dresser. She positioned herself beside me, and I felt the brush engage my mane. It hit a tangle right away. After a pause, I heard -- and felt -- a rip of hairs.
"Ouch!" I cried.
"Sorry, dear," said Nurse Redheart.
I winced. "Could you please -- ouch! -- be a little more -- ouch! -- gentle back there?!"
"You do want these mats out, don't you?"
"With a little less -- ouch! -- pain, yes!"
Urgh. I hated having my hair pulled. As a kid, I drove my mother's maid insane with how much I cried over the littlest snag, and now I had someone with an earth pony's strength doing it. It was one of the reasons I kept my hair short and straight when I got older.
"Ouch!"
Nurse Redheart sighed. I honestly didn't give a fuck if she was getting irritated.
I heard a knock at the door, and a muffled unfamiliar voice called out, "Hello, there, darling, are you decent?"
Decent? Seriously? I was a naked pony in a world of naked ponies. I couldn't get any more or less decent. "Um, yeah -- ouch! -- I'm good, come -- ouch! -- in."
The door glowed and opened. In walked two ponies, one of whom was Fluttershy, an uncertain expression on her face. The other was a marshmallow white pony with a wavy purple mane and three diamonds as her cutie mark.
In other words, a visitor I had never seen before. Whatever this Pinkie Sense was, I supposed it was indeed accurate.
The white pony suddenly stopped and uttered a horrified gasp. Shit, was I not decent after all? Were my girly bits showing between my hind legs?
"My stars, whatever you are doing to that poor filly's mane?!" the white pony cried.
"I'm trying to brush it out," said Nurse Redheart. "Why do you -- hey!"
I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. The brush was floating in mid-air, softly glowing. The white unicorn's horn was glowing as well.
"Brushing?" the unicorn scoffed as she stepped forward. "More like torturing."
"I am trying to get the mats out of her mane."
"Yes, but did you take any notice whatsoever of how curly her hair is?"
"That's one of the problems I'm having."
The unicorn closed her eyes and lifted her muzzle. "Obviously. You clearly do not know how to work with such hair."
"Look, Miss whoever-you-are, I don't--"
"Rarity."
"Miss Rarity, I don't need you tell me how to care for a patient."
Rarity opened her eyes. "But I clearly need to show you how to care for a mane."
Nurse Redheart reached for the brush but Rarity levitated it out of reach. "I am quite sure I am not supposed to let you work on the patients."
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course, protocol and all that." She narrowed her eyes and scraped a hoof against the floor, where something glittered. "And I am sure confetti is considered part of the normal hygienic decor."
Fluttershy giggled softly. I smiled. Nurse Redheart, however, seethed. I had to admit, Nurse Redheart seemed a bit on edge today. Maybe she hadn't had enough coffee or something. That might explain why she never had someone come to clean up the confetti Pinkie Pie had left.
"I believe I know my mistake," said Nurse Redheart. "I am using the wrong brush. Allow me to--"
"Do not blame the brush for your lack of skill. This is perfectly adequate for the task at hoof." Rarity lowered the brush to my mane. "Now, pay attention."
Nurse Redheart sighed and frowned.
I felt Rarity slide the brush through my hair. "You don't attempt to brute-force the hairs from their natural arrangement." The brush snagged, and I tensed. "You work with the natural flow of the hair." The brush twisted, and I felt a gentle tug on the hairs, then heard a ripping noise as a mat was freed. "And you untangle the hair with minimal stress on the hair. Or the pony, for that matter."
Nurse Redheart smiled, but it seemed forced. "Thank you."
"Watch a few more times, please, to make sure you get it," said Rarity. I felt the brush move through my mane again. Even as bossy as Rarity seemed, she had a gentle touch. I was almost enjoying this. "You see? Now, you try."
"Actually, Miss Rarity, you appear to know what you are doing," said the nurse. "Would you simply like to continue?"
Rarity hesitated. "Oh, well, that depends on your patient, of course."
"I'm fine with it," I said. Anything not to be subjected to Nurse Redheart's heavy-hoofed approach. She struck me initially as more gentle than this, but I suppose everyone has their bad days.
Everypony. I really needed to get used to their mannerisms.
"Rarity is good at this sort of thing," said Fluttershy with a soft smile.
"Oh?" I looked up. "Are you a hairdresser, Miss Rarity?"
"Please, darling, just Rarity will do. I'm actually a dressmaker and fashion designer, but I know a thing or two about personal grooming."
Fluttershy must have noticed my surprise, as she was peering at me curiously. So this pony whom I never saw before takes an interest in me, and she just happened to work in one of first industries that my mother owned before she died? Oh, yeah, that's not suspicious at all. Never mind the incongruity of making clothing for a largely naked pony population.
Or maybe I was just being paranoid and should just ask. "So what brought you down here to see me, Rarity?"
"I am friends with Fluttershy and the other ponies who found you," said Rarity. "The only reason I was not there was because I had back orders to catch up on and could not attend the picnic."
So that explained why so many ponies found me all at once. I guess it sort of explained why Rarity wanted to visit. Still, that was really eerie. I felt a little uneasy.
"You really do have a rather lovely mane, dear," said Rarity. "The colors go together fabulously and complement your coat very well."
"Thanks," I said. I took her word for it. They still looked too bright for my tastes.
"Your natural curls are quite nice, but could do with being styled. I would be happy to arrange for that."
"I really don't have any money."
"Nonsense, I would not dream of making you pay for it. Perhaps we could combine it with a spa treatment as well."
And now she was being exceedingly generous towards me? And ponies had spas?
"Um, something wrong?" Fluttershy said.
Damn, she could read me too well. Her voice always had a tone of concern to it, like she really did care what I was feeling. "Oh, nothing, I was just thinking that I hope my memory comes back so I don't have to be an imposition on everyb ... er ... everypony."
"It is no imposition whatsoever," said Rarity. "You have had a hard time of it, and you deserve to be pampered a bit." She lifted the brush. "I am finished with your mane. Would you like me to do your tail as well?"
"Um, sure."
"If you would be so kind as to stand, please."
I rose to my hooves just as I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Nurse Redheart was moving off, and Rarity stepped forward, blocking my view of the table. I called out in a bit of a panicked voice, "My pendant!"
Rarity reacted at once. "What about it, dear?"
"It's over on the table by the--"
Rarity had already swung her head towards the door, allowing me to see it again. The pendant was suffused with a magical glow and snatched from the table. Nurse Redheart stood next to it, a fore-hoof extended, which she pulled back as the pendant was whisked away.
Did I see that right? Was she about to take my pendant? Now Rarity had it. If she were friends with Twilight, and that princess wanted my pendant so badly, Rarity could just--
"Here you go, darling."
I tore my gaze from the nurse. The pendant floated between Rarity and I. "Uh, thanks."
"Allow me to put it back on for you." Rarity's magic slipped the open chain around my neck and brought the ends together. I heard a faint click as the clasp engaged. She looked back towards the door. "Nurse Redheart, are you leaving?"
The nurse turned towards us, smiling. "She seems to be in good hooves for the moment. Just stop by the nurse's station when you're done. Oh, and thank you for returning the pendant to her. I was just about to do it myself, but you saved me the trouble."
Rarity smiled and nodded before Nurse Redheart let herself out.
So my pendant was very nearly taken by a nurse, could have been taken by Rarity, and her and Fluttershy were two ponies doting over me who reminded me of my mother and Michelle.
I did not like where this was going. At all.