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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great chapter.
6059719 Thankee, any particular part capture your attention?
Wait is there a wanted sign for the assassination of typos in Catro and how much are they paying for them? is it dead or alive?
6060068 There is a standing bounty of 10 Anugyptian pounds per typo.
ok this story just got scary in a hole new way.
exultant chapter.
Harts Fire
Unless they're trading praise, then it "complements" her and she "complements" it.
At "his" more obvious sign of interest in Celestia.
This isn't an error in terms of grammar, but is Silver correct, here? That "suction" he feels when he knocks up a mare has been described each time he has so far, alicorn or not.
Aila shrank back a "half-step."
6060146 Fixes applied, and while it's a thing for everypony, it's not an -issue- for not-alicorns.
More magic for Silver to study?!? He may just wet himself from the excitement!
6060230 I don't think that moisture is what you think it is.
6060242 it's obviously liquid pride.
Meh...First royal duty and already have assassins after him...
Why didn't they bring any guard with them? Stealthy-Warrior-Assassin would be great...for counter-assassin and ambushes operation.
Also, are they going to start upgrading Equestria Armory? Equestria so far seem a bit underpowered in military department.
6062232 Delicate situation. Celestia is trying her best to not look nervous. It may be foolish of her, but it's a bit late to complain now.
So here we have Silver normalizing how things will be for his slave-girls, before they go looking into who posted the bounty on Celestia. The tension ramps up some as the hit a dead end, and find that Aila is now wanted also. Overall, this is a chapter with things slowing down as future plot threads are hinted at.
Here we see Shei and Aila growing more accustomed to being Silver's property...or at least, Shei is. The issue of whether they're "concubines" or not was an interesting distinction to be made, but it felt kind of pointless, if only because those terms come with very specific connotations about what they're expected to do, and I can't see Silver being that concerned with the formalities of how they're expected to behave. True, the fact that they're not concubines is technically accurate - he's not sleeping with either of them, and I doubt he'll push the issue before they throw themselves at him - but he could change his mind on that at any time and they couldn't do anything about it, so the distinction feels fairly artificial. Moreover, they're not technically "servants," but slaves, though I doubt Silver would care for that term. At best, they're indentured servants.
The issue with teaching the Windsong sisters magic is interesting, but mostly to see what sort of inherent magic Saddle Arabian ponies have. While it may not be this way for all other races, it's hard to imagine that there's any tribe of ponies besides unicorns that would have out-and-out spellcasting. While Silver could teach them some new ways to use the inherent magic that they doubtlessly have, it's going to be along the lines of where else they can move it internally - without a horn, I don't think they're going to be able to externalize their magic in any particular fashion.
It's notable that Aila is extremely wary of how much everything seems to be going in her favor now that Silver has claimed her. I suppose that runs counter to the idea that her punishment is supposed to be a punishment, but I suspect that it's more along the lines of her waiting for the other (horse)shoe to drop. She's apparently so used to things going so badly in Catro that having a handsome prince ride in and sweep her and her sister away is like a fairy tale, and she's waiting for what comes after the ending. That and she's probably embarrassed about the fact that she's doing better as a slave girl than she ever did on her own - all the more so, since she's been given the honor of being Prince Silver's very first servant.
One thing that's worth mentioning is Silver's flat-out announcement that they're coming with him when he and Celestia leave. That could have been handled better on Silver's end, because he needs to make them understand what I suspect they already know: that their business cannot be saved. Literally, there's nothing that can be done to keep their inn from going under. If the locals won't patronize their business - even if they're being bigoted and unfair in doing so - then they don't have a business. There's nothing that Silver or Celestia can do to change that. What he can do is sit down and make them understand that this can't be avoided, and that other than slinking home in shame, his taking them is probably as good as it gets for them.
Beyond that, there was the sequence where they went to look at the bounty board. That was a logical course of action for them to take, but I hope that the story sticks to the conclusion that it drew from this, which is that this particular line of investigation is a dead end. Simply put, there's no particular way to find out who posted the bounty, or why, by following this route. True, they could go to the middle-man who pays for the bounties and try and interrogate him or her, but if that particular tactic for breaching the anonymity of who posted a bounty was likely to work, then such a system would have folded up a long time ago. As such, it seems unlikely that they'll be able to figure out who's after them this way; they'll need to look elsewhere for clues.
What's more interesting is how someone knew to add Aila. While I do think that this is likely due to her failure, that's still rather suspicious - from the impression that I got, there was no announcement that someone was taking a particular bounty. Aila just saw it and decided to act upon it; hence, how would someone know that she was going to try to do this, let alone that she'd failed? So there are a lot of questions there (though I suppose someone could have just been watching the inn, but even then that doesn't answer most of the other questions). Either way, she and her sister are absolutely going to need Silver now, since without him I doubt they'd last long...as that sniper can attest.
I'll add that that cat with the falchion was a great character, if only because I took an immediate dislike to him (the mark of a good character is how much they resonate with the audience, regardless of the manner in which they resonate with them), as opposed to, say, Twinstreak, whom I suspect most readers have already forgotten. This cat's attitude - which can be summarized as "I'm going to look down on you, even as I claim that you're victimizing me" - immediately ticked me off. Sure pal, they're using magic just so make you feel less than, and not because they have assassins after them. What a colossal jerk!
Overall, there was little forward motion here, so we'll have to see what the next step is.
6062882 You'll be pleased to know the next chapter has more movement!
Silver is a bit slow to lay down clear boundaries at times, which works in Shei's advantage likely as time goes on. Having a price on their heads makes departing the city a bit less of a terrible idea. Prideful or not, maybe Aila isn't interested in dealing with assassins? Maybe she should have thought of that before she got involved in that whole part of society to begin with. Oh well...
Mr. Kitty was great. He was good fun to write for. He came off initially as someone ready to attack them, but instead gave some shreds of information and left on moderately pleasant terms. He wasn't a bad cat, just a poor one and perhaps one on edge, but I would be too if I lived there.
I just have to wonder, how can they be so stupid? Nobles, yes. Guards, yes. Trying to kill the being that controls the SUN, and has the power that with but a thought could wipe out all life on the planet? They can't be that pathedically stupid...
Why, why are people always shown as that stupid Even a child is smart enough to know you don't fuck with someone with that much firepower.
6065144 I keep reading them with Khajiiti voices. Elsweyr can't be too far away, right?
lopped, unless you mean tossed in a high arc.
6221377 Fixed! You're moving fast.
complete
6935273 Fixed!
6062882 The whole slave girl thing bothers me, with the magic collars and heart pendants, I think a better term would be prisoners under house arrest. Can't go anywhere the parole officer doesn't know about, flip side to that is it's in their favour if Silver can track them in case they get in trouble, I doubt the cats know of that enchantment.
I don't think the concubine thing will work, Silver has enough on the home front plate to worry about, whether he adheres to Luna's directive & studs to one or both is a separate matter. On getting them back to Equestria he will soon need competent house staff to help in the care of his herd's foals, with their inn keeping skills they would make excellent free & paid staff.
On Arabian magic that could be based on Magi or Ginn reference.
"You gave them shelter, so we're going to pay someone to kill you" eh?