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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Does Amenti realize she's possibly made a long term enemy of Luna? She's potentially shattered hopes of the new Lunar Tribes being sired.
He didn't do anything at all...... and there is no way to know what this thing will do to an alicorn.
But the most interesting thing is :P wouldn't it hurt to mate while having something like this strapped on?
6092203 Where do you think Thrice came from?
Why would it hurt?
Change "watched" to "watching."
Capitalize the first letter of the first word.
It was designed for an "overly-amorous" nekomata.
6092431 Typos given new jewelry that will surely have no negative side effects.
6092452 Ones that I overlooked:
There's no hyphen in "hind legs."
Delete that second "and."
6092633 Fixed!
God dammit, why can't he have a nice quiet life? AAURGH!!
I'm also quite surprised that pharaoh is still alive and isn't sun-roasted.
IS THE jewelry ever going to came off
6092690 Do you really want me to answer that?
6092690 you have to be more specific of which jewelry you're talking about.
6092695 YES
6092792 Silver new jewelry .
Amenti pulled a Silver!
Acting without proper thought with often undesirable consequences.
o know of a kat the needs to be killed after what she did to our Silver.
6092639 Silver gets some more information about the cursed ball-ring that he's wearing, while he tries to adjust to whatever it's doing to him. The "whatever" in the previous sentence is intentional, because while we did get some answers as to what this thing is doing to him, the practical impact of it all feels rather...I suppose "muddled" is the term.
Let's go over what we know. This is an item that was designed to punish a nekomata who really, really liked getting it on. It did so by inverting his natural magic, and making it so that this particular state was passed on to his offspring, though this latter condition has apparently faded away with time.
This background perfectly encapsulates the problems I had with this chapter, in that there's a sort of logical disconnect going on here. This particular plot-thread doesn't seem to know where it wants to go, and so we have results that, for all the attention they're being given, feel like much ado about (almost) nothing. The item's history showcases that very well in that this item simply doesn't seem like much of a punishment, or rather, it doesn't seem like much of a punishment where the presumed crime - seducing female after female, and knocking them up - is concerned.
The reason for that is because, if indeed the issue that led to the creation of this item was its original victim's rampant love-em-and-leave-em attitude, then I fail to see how this bangle was in any way meant to deter such behavior. True, it redirected his magic, as well as the magic of any future children he'd sire, but that self-evidently did not stop him from impregnating legions' worth of females after the fact, hence the baastians. Now, "inverting" the state of his magic might have been upsetting, but as a punishment for severe promiscuity it seems rather orthogonal to the crime committed. The whole thing feels like a bizarre left turn.
That's similarly how I feel with regards to what this thing is doing to Silver now. So his magic is being changed so that his "natural" ability is internal channeling, while external spellcasting becomes something he can't easily do. Fair enough, but this doesn't seem that much different from how things are now. Silver was already able to channel internally and cast spells, so the actual force and effect of this bangle seems like, well...whistling while inhaling. Or rather, like having been right-handed all of your life and suddenly being left-handed now. It's ultimately not that big of a deal.
That may not sound like much of an indictment, but at the end of the day this development is on the verge of committing the cardinal sin of fiction writing: being boring, or at the very least, not being engaging. As it looks right now, Silver is going to have to re-learn how to use external magic (which, we've already been assured, is entirely within reach) while being too good at internal channeling...including and especially when it comes to sex. The "curse," in other words, is having a negligible impact, and that really feels like an opportunity lost.
To be fair, this chapter threw in a caveat, in terms of the item's history and nature not being fully known - everything, at this point, is supposition (other than what Silver has already felt for himself). It's likewise entirely possible that I'm underestimating how interesting things will be with Silver having to re-learn how to use his magic, both internally and externally. As it stands now, however, I'm a bit disappointed by the ultimate lack of impact - whether you write with your left hand or your right, you can still write.
On a side note, the entire bit with that anonymous cat sneaking into Silver's room and telling him who to talk to also came off very oddly. The snickered over Silver realizing that there was a price...and then basically said "no price, you've already done enough." Likewise, they told Silver to speak to that "militarily-inclined" cat for help, and we see Celestia going off to do just that...and then she's introducing Silver to some other cat entirely, named Thrice Cooked. Huh? What sort of transition was that? It felt like I missed a scene, there.
Ultimately, this chapter just didn't deliver on the build-up that the last chapter created.
things
twinge
Too many ands, too many typos.
I've already done that... Well, if Silver needs help, I can probably come up with some tips, or something.
7775246 This is a skill I also possess.
How are things looking up they all but removed his horn
If anything it just plumeted
Yeah, this isn't a good thing. At all.
I chuckled.