Twilight falls head over heels for a sandwich artist.

It's just unfortunate that the object of her affection seems to hate her for some reason.

Sex tag for saucy situations and innuendo.
Profanity tag for a healthy helping of swearing.
Romance tag for a love as empty as the calories at Subway.
Comedy tag for the joke that is my taste in music.
Art by yuck-banner.tumblr(dot)com (nsfw warning)
Under new management! Originally published while in exile on Feb 15th, 2020 on a defunct alt named Hoagie.

You wake up in a land where magic is real and sapient ponies have built a civilisation. Being from a different universe, you have no understanding of their language or laws, but you're happy to have found yourself in the friendliest town there is. Good luck building a new life as their favourite... monkey thing.

Young Nictis had one dream: to serve his hive by becoming an Infiltrator, the most vital and vaunted role a changeling could aspire to. To hide in plain sight among the other species, blending in, while gathering the vital emotional energies that fueled his people. Few were deemed worthy of the dangerous job. He was one of the few nymphs selected for training, in the hopes that one of them would develop the skills needed to be entrusted with such a treacherous task.

But when a training expedition ends in tragedy, Nictis finds himself thrust into the role not to serve his hive and people, but to preserve his own life. Separated from the hive, alone, he must put what little training he has to the test. He must blend in with the hive's greatest source of food, and its most dangerous enemy: the ponies of Equestria.

(This story takes place in the same continuity as Fragments, but stands on its own. Reading that story isn't necessary for this one.)

TV Tropes page

Book cover art by viwrastupr

You’ve seen Humans in Equestria… but have you seen them done quick? Will PonyRunner420 crumble under the pressure of one frame tricks, uninvited couch commentators, and suspiciously self-aware NPCs, or will he successfully kill Celestia in record time?

A short story about the magic of speedrunning, and it’s power to bring people across the world (and across dimensions) together with the common goal of raising money for charity, and just killing Celestia really fast.

Featured 2023/01/10. You’re supposed to brag about this here right

The nobles of Canterlot are up to their old schemes again. Trying desperately to elevate themselves from mere nobles to that of royalty, the high council begins to pressure both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna into marriage. There is only one problem the two sisters face. As the law of old states, only a pony of nobility or foreign dignitary may be eligible to wed either of the princesses. The two sisters must now find a suitable candidate willing to adhere to the balance of power they had so desperately fought to maintain, or lose their right to rule.
Luckily, there seems to be a certain somebody that meets the strict criteria and who would also not abuse his position as royal consort to the Moon and Sun. Now, if only there was a way to convince him.

((I know I am terrible at writing synopsis, but please don't let that dissuade you from giving my story a chance. Rated T for light cussing, teasing, flirtatious mares, and provocative situations. May change later on depending on how I feel and the input from the readers.))

Update: I finally got a beautiful cover art for the story! It looks so freaking amazing and I am super happy with how it turned out. The artist is super talented and you should all go view her stuff and maybe even commission something from her! I literally can't justify how amazing this picture is!
Artist: Cotton
Thank you all so much for your feedback and support! Because of you all I was featured! *happy pony noises*
Featured
1/20/17
2/02/17
12/05/17

A little pegasus filly shows up in Ponyville. Who is she? Other than the cutest little thing who's ever existed, of course!

I don't know when updates to this will be, other than "occasionally".

This story is a sequel to Shipping and Handling

Magic is limited only by the strength of the mind and the passion of the heart.

After the events of "Shipping and Handling", young Dinky Doo sets off to begin her first term of study at the most prestigious magic school in Equestria, Celestia's Academy for Gifted Unicorns. The adventures that await her there will exceed even her wildest expectations, and a cast of colorful new characters will be by her side to share in them.

(This story is the sequel to "Shipping and Handling". It's highly recommended you read that one first!
Occurs during Season 3 of the show: After the Crystal Empire but before Alicorn Twilight.)

You ever have one of those days where you've woken up after a great night drinking with your friends, and you discover you've been turned into a colourful talking horse with a tattoo on its rear end?

No?

Well I have, so shut up.

The name I've taken for myself is Sharp Sight. I won't bother telling you my real name, since it's not gonna be used that much and you probably won't remember it.

This will mostly account my figuring out why I'm a technicolor equine and getting used to having four legs and seeing purple and blue horses talking, flying and using magic like it's nobody's business.

I don't have a 'waifu' to chase down and use my improbable charisma to get her to fall in love with me within minutes, so don't expect any of this.

On the other hand - or hoof, whichever floats your particular tea set - if you want to watch a snarky pony fall over his own legs and be frightened by his own shadow from the possibility of it coming to life and trying to eat his face, then this is the read for you.

So fire away and enjoy yourself. Laugh if you can, and feel free to leave any feedback. Believe it or not, it's appreciated.

This story is a sequel to Schadenfreude HATES MAGIC

Schadenfreude has always played by the Rules of the Game. Break a rule on the list? Get a punishment. Break four? Well.

Twilight Sparkle, on the other hand, was new to the Game, although familiar with the players. Which she really should have thought about when she tricked Schadenfreude into violating multiple rules on the list at once.

So for Schadenfreude, it was a month of community service. For Twilight Sparkle? A trial by fire of working side by side with her new employee.

And the School of Friendship's newest substitute teacher.

Pinkamena just wants to stay in her own lane. If Pinkie has a problem that needs yelled at, kicked at, or jeeringly tolerated until it goes away, she can handle it. But what’s a sourfaced split personality to do when her agreeable half vanishes overnight like a fart in the wind?

Pinkamena is not a sleuth. Nor a convincing actress. But she’ll need to be both to guise as Pinkie and solve the mystery of where her better half went.

What a pain in the flank.

(Teen rating for Pinkamena’s crassness and comically short temper.)

Its National Novel Writing Month! I'm breaking my regular short story conventions for a multi-chapter tale of fumbling comedy, uneasy mystery, and (most frightful of all) first-person narration.