//------------------------------// // Fast as a Body from the Balcony // Story: Subway Girl // by Space Jazz //------------------------------// "Hey, bitch," Adagio greeted as she tossed a waxy torpedo at her sister’s face. It connected with a scrunch. "Dinner's ready." "Even on my day off." She pulled her feet onto the couch and sat cross legged. "I'm sick of sandwiches." "Aria, if you don't want to eat," Adagio said in a condescending tone while reaching for the "footlong” that was really about eleven inches. Scam artists. "I'll eat," Aria said, clutching the sandwich like it was a precious gift. She unwrapped it and crinkled her nose. “You better have not drowned it in mayo.” She did. Adagio sunk into the lumpy couch and kicked off her work shoes. "You would not believe who I ran into today." "Who?" Aria asked, mouthful of sandwich. Little flakes of breadcrumbs fell onto her sweatpants. "Twilight Sparkle." The name was articulated tightly and with prejudice. Aria nearly choked. She should have also purchased a drink. She struggled to swallow. The ridiculous, borderline wasteful amount of mayonnaise didn’t help it go down any easier. "Her? The fuck is she doing here?" “Probably just the fates rubbing it in and laughing,” Adagio guessed, rolling her thumb over her sore heel. "She came into work, specifically looking for me, and get this: she tried to ask me out on a date.” "Now that part I call bullshit,” Aria said before forcing herself to take another bite that was overstuffed with shredded lettuce. Scam artists. “Who’d want to date you?” Adagio raised a middle finger but chose to move on. “I don’t think she’s the same Twilight from Equestria.” She slid deeper into the couch. “There’s something obviously different about her. Something childish. There. I figured it out. She’s a child.” “The balls on her to ask you out, though,” Aria mused, picking at her teeth. “Most losers try Sonata.” “I’m well aware,” Adagio said through grit teeth. “They do it because they think she’s an easy mark.” “Keep telling yershelf that, Shecond Plashe,” Aria mumbled through another bite. “So did you spit in her food or what?” “Couldn’t. She was watching me the whole time.” Adagio reached for the remote. Aria slapped it away. “Spat in yours, though.” Aria stuck her tongue out, showing off the half chewed food before swallowing it. The conversation died as the television became more interesting than their catching up. Both were perfectly content for about two minutes before boredom, the great instigator, set in. “Wanna do something?” Adagio asked. She looked at her phone and checked the date. Thursday. “It’s college party night.” Aria cringed. “Ew, frat boys.” She looked down at her simultaneously dry and soggy sandwich. Pizza and alcohol sounded like a good alternative. “I’m in.” Adagio scrolled through her feed. “Everfree, or West End?” “The rich kids have better booze,” Aria noted, wrapping up her sandwich. “Everfree it is.” Adagio typed away at her phone. “Texted Sonata to close up early.” “Still don’t know why you trust her on her own.” “Because I like going home early,” Adagio answered. “Now go get ready, slut.” —🍞🥬🥬🍗🥬🍅🍞— “You said you wanted to be more outgoing in college, right?” Sunset Shimmer sank into the plush faux-leather seats of Twilight’s Prius. “Well, a party isn’t a bad place to start.” Twilight had planned to spend the night listening to love songs, eating her feelings through a pint of ice cream, and eventually falling asleep rewatching The Princess Bride while curled up in all her favorite blankets. So much for a healthier diet. However, that night of self pity and self serving was cut off by a text from Sunset. With lingering feelings still there, Twilight jumped at the opportunity to hang out with her, only to to learn that the plan for tonight involved large scale group debauchery, underage drinking, and loud music. “I don’t know if big, loud parties are my thing.” Twilight held onto the car’s roof handle, not for fear or the illusion of safety. It was just a weird habit she had when riding shotgun. “Can I start with a student mixer or something?” “There will be students,” Sunset countered, easing out of Twilight’s driveway. “And there will be mixers.” “Mixers,” Twilight repeated, checking her phone for her glossary of party terms. “Non-alcoholic ingredients for cocktails—I could have figured that out.” “You can’t learn partying from Google, Twilight. You gotta experience it for yourself.” “Can’t I just watch from a distance and take notes?” “They might be animals, but they’re not the nature documentary type.” She clicked her tongue. “Actually, scratch that, you’re gonna see a lot of fights and mating rituals. I do want you to document both. For posterity, of course.” “For posterity,” Twilight hummed. “So what kind of party animal are you?” “Tonight, I’m staying sober,” Sunset said, a hint of disappointment in her voice. “You’re the one getting lit.” Twilight shoved her friend. Just friend. “Absolutely not.” “It’s your night.” Sunset sped past a changing light. “I’ll just play mama bear and make sure you get fucked up responsibly. Any creep goes too far, and I’ll rip ‘em apart. Then when it’s over, I’ll drive you home and tuck you in.” “Can I get a kiss goodnight, too?” Sunset shot her a side-eyed glance. “Right,” Twilight admitted. “Making it weird.” Twilight turned the car’s stereo up, letting the radio fill the empty air. Twilight looked out the window and noticed a familiar sandwich chain’s branding. Those things really were everywhere. “So I met a really pretty girl today.” “Oh?” Sunset turned to Twilight, interest in her eyes. “Tell me more.” “She just had this… real bitchy energy to her.” She held her hands to her chest, using the B-word as an empowering statement like her favorite magazine. “I asked her out, and she told me to ‘eff off. It was amazing.” Sunset laughed. “I’m glad it sorta worked out, and good on you for trying.” Twilight took in the praise as leaned back against the headrest. She closed her eyes and thought good thoughts, trying to get into the mood for a party a little more extreme than Pinkie Pie offered. It took some time, but she seemed to be warming up to it. The car shook, and Sunset slammed her palm against the horn. “Use an intersection, you —“ —🍞🥬🥬🍗🥬🍅🍞— “Dickhead!” Adagio cried, throwing a middle finger up at the speeding Prius. “This is a residential zone.” “Should’ve jumped in front of it,” Aria joked, but not really. “Would’ve come with a big bag.” Sonata nodded as she hopped up on the curb. “Like the time I slipped in the supermarket.” Aria laughed. “We weren’t even trying that time.” The trio walked a few more blocks until the got to the address they found. They paid the cover with cute smiles, and Adagio mouthed “Call me” to the bouncer while slipping a fake phone number in his shirt for good measure. “Open season, girls,” Adagio said, scanning the party. “It’s the rich kid neighborhood, so everyone’s on the table.” Aria was busy eyeing what was literally on the table full of food. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll make sure to nick a wallet or two before we go.” “Where’s the fun in that, Ari?” Sonata asked, shimmying her shoulders. “It doesn’t have to be all business. Just watch.” Sonata stepped away from her sisters and bumped into a boy leaning against the wall. He was cute, meek looking, but cute nonetheless. She knew how to pick her targets. “S-sorry,” said the boy, hiding behind his cup. Sonata flashed an irresistible smile and batted her eyes. “You can buy me a drink to make up for it.” Adagio clicked her tongue. “Well, at least she tried.” “I’ll pick his pockets while he’s distracted.” Aria crossed her arms as she looked the boy up and down. “Maybe not his cell. Looks like the ‘track my phone’ type.” “Hold on,” Adagio said, jabbing her sister lightly with her elbow. “The loser’s actually giving her money.” “Huh?” Sure enough, the shy boy was reaching into his wallet and held out a couple bills, which Sonata took and exchanged for a leaping hug. The boy fell back into the wall from the momentum, and the youngest siren turned her head back to her sisters and smiled tightly. “Well, looks like she can handle herself.” Adagio made her way across the living room. “I’ll find my own prize.” —🍞🥬🥬🍗🥬🍅🍞— “Baby’s first beer!” Sunset Shimmer held her phone up, recording Twilight for her Snapgab story. “Sunseeeet!” Twilight’s cheeks flushed red. “Stop it.” Sunset only laughed, zooming in closer on her friend’s flustered face. Twilight looked down into her cup nervously. She couldn’t even imagine what her parents would say if they saw her—not that they would ever know. She planned to crash at Sunset’s to avoid any chance of being caught. Although, it wasn't like this was her first alcoholic drink. Despite what Sunset said, the one glass of wine at Hearth's Warming dinner with her parents did count. She decided to focus on something else as she brought the cup into her mouth. Looking far into the rest of the party, it didn’t take long for her eyes to settle on the most interesting woman in the room—her Subway Girl. Twilight spat her drink out, soaking her friend in a combination of spit and beer. Sunset tried to shake off the drops from her phone. “Damn, girl. You could’ve just said you didn’t like it.” “No, not that.” Twilight coughed as she shook her head. She vaguely gestured across the room. “That’s her! The girl I was talking about. She’s here.” Looking over her shoulder, Sunset scanned the party. “Who? Wha?” “Don’t look!” Twilight grabbed her by the collar of her leather jacket. Sunset kept searching, pulling against her friend’s grip. “I’m gonna keep looking until you tell me who.” “Fine, fine.” She pointed to the corner. “The girl with the giant orange hair. The one with bad-bitch vibes.” “Her?” Sunset’s chest tightened as she recognized the woman. The party might as well have ended. “No, no no no!” She grabbed Twilight by the wrist and dragged her around the corner into the kitchen before pushing her against the wall. “Listen to me. Whatever you do, stay away from her. She’s trouble.” Twilight cocked her head. “Do you… know her? Can you put in a good word for me?” “Yes, I know her, and no I will not.” Sunset sighed. “Remember those sirens me and girls keep mentioning? Mind control? Battle of the bands? She’s one of them. I’m telling you she’s dangerous.” “But you said the sirens were harmless after the Starswirled festival.” Sunset rubbed her forehead with two fingers. “I know what I said, but the other you already burned that bridge a long time ago.” “Seems like the other me’s always the one having fun.” Twilight pouted as she stared at her shoes. It didn’t take her too long to make the connection. “Now it makes sense why she doesn’t like me. Though, if she’s reasonable, I’m sure she’ll understand that I had nothing to do with the other me.” Sunset scoffed. “I can assure you. The sirens are not.” “But it has to be fate that we’re both here tonight!” Twilight squeaked. “We even had a meet cute earlier today. Well, it was at a sandwich shop, so it was more of a M-E-A-T cute,” she said, spelling it out with her fingers. Sunset stared right through her friend. “The fact that you made that joke tells me that you’re not ready for her at all.” Twilight glared up at her. “You seemed to decide a lot of things.” Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Twilight, I’m talking to you as your friend, okay? Not your ex.” She clapped her hands together in mock prayer. “Adagio Dazzle, even without her magic mind control horse shit, will fuck with you and tear your heart out just for fun.” “Is it bad that I kinda want that, though?” Twilight had that glint in her eyes, and Sunset unfortunately knew that there was no stopping her ex once her mind was made up. Sunset stepped back. “Fine. I tried. Don’t say I didn’t.” She looked down at the red cup in Twilight’s hands and took it. “Change of plans. You’re driving us home tonight.” “But I’m still on my permit,” Twilight argued. “That sounds like a you problem.” Sunset downed the cup. It wasn’t nearly strong enough to deal with today’s bullshit. She rolled her shoulders, loosening up before disappearing into a crowd of people. —🍞🥬🥬🍗🥬🍅🍞— Although the money at the end was the favorite part of her conquest, there was nothing stopping Adagio from making the whole process fun. She liked to stake out an interesting target, someone that she figured would be fun to pick apart piece by piece until she got what he wanted. After scanning a few rooms, Adagio found her target. He was big, proud, most likely an athlete with a commanding presence. Classically handsome, he either got everything he wanted with a flash of a perfect smile or the implicit threat of his size. Adagio grinned, wondering what he’d look like begging on his knees. She approached the table he was stationed at and watched him set up a game of beer pong. He cracked each beer can open, filled the cup, then crushed it in his hand. She decided to strike as he gingerly began to set the last cup down at the tip of the triangle. She grabbed it from his hand and took a drink. She smiled up at him. “Was this yours?” He smirked at her. “Go ahead. Anything for a hot chick.” Pity. Adagio thought. It usually took a little more work. She set the cup back down where he placed it and flipped it over. “There’s your handicap.” He laughed. “I’m not gonna need it.” “You will.” Adagio took a spot at the end of the table. “Trust.” As the game went on, it became clear that Adagio was way better than him. Her strikes were precise enough that she had to intentionally miss some shots to keep raising suspicion. Actually, she had to “miss” a lot of shots to keep the poor fella interested. She almost felt bad for him when he grimaced at the prospect of taking down another cup. “I hope this isn’t your best game,” Adagio said with a laugh. She was all smiles, a subtle way of lowering his guard. “I play football,” he said with a slight slur. She caught onto his defensive tone. “Lineman?” He sneered. “Quarterback. It’s a skill position.” Ooh, insecure. Adagio bit her lip. It was just too easy. —🍞🥬🥬🍗🥬🍅🍞— Twilight needed a drink once she realized who Adagio was with. Then, she quickly realized it was an unhealthy coping response and just filled her cup with tap water. Still, Adagio Dazzle was with Blueblood, University of Canterlot’s star quarterback. She saw his pictures everywhere on campus, and it seemed like everyone there liked him. There was just no way to compete. However, worst of all: he had a penis. Twilight had come to the grim conclusion that Adagio was straight, and there was no way she could do anything about that. She thought about just grabbing Sunset and leaving. However, Sunset seemed to be smoking something with a girl with long purple twin-tails in the backyard pool area. She decided to wait it out, lest she risk the effects of secondhand smoke. Then a man on fire jumped off the roof and into the pool, smashing everyone nearby including Twilight. She decided she didn’t like college parties as she went back inside to look for a towel. —🍞🥬🥬🍗🥬🍅🍞— Adagio hooked her arm around her prize, nestling into his large chest. He smelled like body spray and alcohol, but she could tolerate that for the few minutes it took to lead him up the stairs. Playing the part of a giggly college chick was the more degrading bit that she wanted to be over with. However, once she got behind closed doors, the siren would come out. She pulled him up the steps, his heavy body half on her and half on the railing. For such a big guy, he couldn’t handle his liquor—not that it mattered to her. Reduced inhibitions made getting what she wanted much easier. “Come on, big guy. Almost there.” She licked her lips and wiped her forehead against his shirt. Like a farmer leading cattle, Adagio brought him to the bedroom. She let him collapse onto the bed, landing with a weighty thud. She crawled on top of him, almost rushing to undo his belt. It jingled as she pretended to struggle with it. She giggled as part of the routine and distracted him with her smile as her slender hands emptied his pockets. “Your shirt’s easier,” she said, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and removing it. She crawled forward over his chest and kissed his neck, eliciting groans from her mark. Crinkling her nose as practiced, Adagio pulled away. “You should probably freshen up first.” “Whatever you say, babe.” The hunk of a man got up and slowly ambled into the connected bathroom. Adagio’s eyes followed his form from his muscular back to his toned rear. He disappeared behind the door, and she waited for the sound of running water before she made her move. Adagio pounced on his wallet on the floor and fished around. A small but not insignificant wad of bills sat inside, and she quickly counted it before stuffing it in her pocket. Though, she expected more. Didn’t these big college athletes make any sort of money? She threw his driver’s license out the window but also took the Costco membership card. It would come in handy for grocery shopping. He probably didn’t even use it for anything other than kegs and giant bottles of vodka. But to her, it was like everything was on sale now. After claiming everything she felt was useful, Adagio considered just returning to the party. However, since she was already here… Not too long after, Blueblood returned. There was a smug, drunken grin on his face. She studied his hulking frame in the doorway, broad shoulders nearly taking up the entire opening. He stepped towards her, and she could feel the ground shake in his presence. The big football star was coming toward the end zone. He pinned her against the bed with his weight, and she let him think he was in control. He planted rough kisses on her neck and shoulder, sloppily trying to recreate the same feeling she gave him earlier. His breath burned, and he gripped her by the hair and pulled. “H-hey! Don’t pull my hair!” He didn’t listen. In fact, he pulled again, dragging her head back so he could place his lips on the underside of her chin. She dug her nails into back, and he let out a pained roar. She used all the force she could muster to push him off to the side. “Prick. What did I just say?” He threw back his own choice phrases. None of them were particularly friendly toward women. She ignored him as she stormed out of the room. Adagio needed to vomit. It was disgust alright. She felt it daily. However, she wasn't sure who or what it was directed towards. She wanted to rip Blueblood's stupid handsome face off and throw it from the balcony like a frisbee. However, the drinks were now settling in, and that made it hard for her to balance. Her aim was most certainly shot as well. She held onto the walls as she stumbled through the halls of the home, searching desperately for the bathroom. Had she not ran off earlier, she would have loved to just throw up on the stuck up prick's junk. Unfortunately, she had dignity. A stranger's bathroom would do just fine. Pounding at the door, Adagio leaned up against it for support. "Get out!" "Occupied," squeaked a tiny voice on the other side. "I don't care." Adagio shoulder checked the door and broke through the flimsy lock. The girl inside screamed, dropped her phone, and hugged her knees. Thankfully, she was fully clothed, dressed in a dorky yellow sweater with a familiar set of unflattering glasses to boot. "You," Adagio spat, recognizing the girl. "Off!" "Sorry! I'm sorry!" Twilight squeaked, sliding off the toilet. Adagio pushed past her and began to spill chunks into the water. "What are you even doing here?" Her voice reverberated off the porcelain. "Hiding," she answered, wincing at the crack on the corner of her phone's screen. "At a party," Adagio elaborated, her words followed by the rest of her dinner of a Sub Club with spicy mustard. It definitely burned the second time. "Oh," Twilight hummed. She knelt down at Adagio's side and gently held back her mess of curly hair. Her thanks was another round of purging. "My friend dragged me here." Adagio wiped a dribble of spit off her bottom lip. At least not everyone here's a total asshole. She stood back up, finding Twilight already with one foot out the door. "So, uh," Twilight began. The geek looked different. Did she put her hair down? "It was nice seeing you again. I'll, uh, leave you alone forever now." She bolted out the door. Adagio looked to the mirror to find her hair tied back into a frizzy ponytail. She reached back, pulled it off, and analyzed the velvet band in her hand. "A fucking scrunchie?" Adagio asked, stretching the band between her fingers. "Is she twelve?"