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When Ditzy Doo loses her job at Cloudsdale Mail and Freight, she gets a job at another shipping company... only to find out their definition of shipping has nothing to do with delivering packages! Desperate for income to support herself and Dinky, will Ditzy be able to make it as a pony matchmaker?

(Occurs between Seasons 2 and 3 of the show.)

First Published
19th Mar 2012
Last Modified
23rd Sep 2012
#1 · 271w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Hi all.  This is your author speaking.

Many of you may already recognize this story.  I've been working on it through DeviantArt, and it's been on Equestria Daily since October.

A significant number of fans requested I create another copy here... so here you go!  All 12 existing chapters will be submitted at once, at the final chapter will be added later when it's finished.

#2 · 271w, 1d ago · 4 · · Chapter 7 ·

Fair Warning, readers.  Chapter 7 is a bizarre chapter.  If I could give genre tags to individual chapters, a big old "Random" would be slapped on here.

#3 · 271w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 10 ·

Heads up.  #10 is another really off-the-wall chapter.

#4 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

So I assume that it is still incomplete? :derpyderp2:

#5 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Cool I followed this on EQD but prefer em here as they're easier to track.  Anyhow really enjoy this story and the (mis)adventures the shippers have.  Except for Glow, she can go explore the dark side of Pluto.  

#6 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

>>342680 So she can explore Yuggoth?

#7 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Huzzah! Yet another great story joins the ranks of FIMFiction!  Can't wait until the final chapter comes out.  Thumbed, tracked, etc.

Cheers~ :twilightsmile:

#8 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

>>342677 Yeah, IIRC PRB said that there was another part to this finale on the way.

#9 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Also, WTF who thumbed this down? Whoever you are, I bite my thumb at thee, Sir (or Madam (But most likely Sir)). :flutterrage:

#10 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·


Yea maybe the Mi-Go will have some use for her (doubt it as they collect brains)

#11 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

I was excited to see "Shipping-and-Handling" on FIM, thinking it meant you completed the last chapter, #13.

BUT NO, you are just teasing big MEANIE :fluttershbad:

Just kidding, I'm glad you are posting this here, it is one of my favorite stories. I like your take on Ditzy, both her personality and job as a matchmaker.  I always thought myself that Ditzy's trouble was just depth perception and dislike most stories that have her mentally challenged.:derpyderp1:

Please finish 13 soon.  Thanks

#12 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

>>342732 :rainbowlaugh: Wonderful to know that a fellow Lovecraftian enthusiast is a brony.


#14 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

YEAH!  instant brohoof.  I've been watching this one the whole time

#15 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

It really bugs me how much of an ASS Glow is. She didn't really plan this, did her?

I mean, make them fail her will save her record, but also DESTROY THE FUCKING COMPANY REPUTATION !!! And as a result, she would LOSE HER JOB and the record would be USELESS !!!!

I really want to see how is she going to get punished...

#16 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·


Yes sir, it is not finished.  It's been in production of Deviantart since October, and has been featured (and 6-starred) on Equestria Daily.

Many of my fans were bugging me to put another version here before it ended.  So I figured I'd do that now, since it will be over as soon as a finish the next chapter.

#17 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·


All of my YES. This is the story that first got me to love Derpy, right here. I can't wait for the sure-to-be-epic conclusion!

Chapter 7 is certainly crazy, but Chapter 10 is actually pretty tame compared to some of the other things on this site.

#18 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Glow is an ass. thumbs up to you sir.

#19 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Buck yeah, one of my favorite stories is on here now. I agree that the Pinkie chapter is pretty off the wall, but Trixie's isn't that bad. The only part that was a bit much was the end where Seth goes back to EqD. Other than that, it was a great chapter. This story is awesome btw, just letting you know :p

#20 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Ah, glad to see this on FiMFiction at last. Not that I dislike DA, but it makes it a helluva lot easier to keep tabs on incomplete stories when they're posted here.

#21 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Heck ya! Some uptight blue unicorn is going to get it! :pinkiehappy:

#22 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

dude! yes! now one of my favorite stories is on a site that i know and love! fuckyea!

#23 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Yes, I see it now, YES, Blood...gore. YES.


#24 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Love this story since it got on EQD.  Can't wait for the final chapter

#25 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

YES!!!! Its here!:derpyderp1:

#26 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Track now, read a bit later.

#27 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

I decided to get a FiM account, and now I can track from two places! :yay:

#28 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

I followed this story before it was on EQD.

Oh God... I'm a hipster...:coolphoto:

#29 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Oh god I finally found it.

I remember reading the first chapter of this on EQ and absolutely loving it. Then I lost the link and forgot to name and I thought I would never get to finish



thanks for posting a copy here :twilightsmile:

#30 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

@UK-Brony 95

Before EQD?  Only 4 or 5 people even saw this before EQD!  This is my first ponyfic, so I was a completely unknown author at the time.

That's serious hipster-ness right there.


Well, here it is again.  Apparently with about 78,000 more words than the last time you saw it.

Happy reading.:twilightsheepish:

#31 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Before I can even start, YAY for bringing it over!

#32 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

This....... is acctually more interesting then i thought it would be.........

#33 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Soot soot, its here! And now I can watch you!

That's not creepy, right?

#34 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Wait, I thought her name was Derpy? Nice idea anyway.

#35 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Awesome. This is a good excuse to reread this story. Again.

#36 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

@Kirb Hysteria

She went by both Ditzy Doo and Derpy Hooves for quite a while.  Derpy really took over after the Last Roundup aired, but this was started about three months before that episode aired.  I just stuck with this name, it's still widely known, even if Derpy is preferred.

@Azure Ka Ryu

Now you have me confused.  Up above, you're commenting on the later chapters, and now, suddenly, you're back on chapter 1?

Comment posted by Geyshawins deleted at 5:01pm on the 24th of March, 2016
#38 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

*reads chapter 12*


also, Glow needs to be sodomized with her own horn.

also again, NEED MORE. if th' story is really ending next chapter, SEQUEL!

#39 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·


#40 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Yay, it's in FF!

#41 · 270w, 6d ago · 4 · · Chapter 4 ·

You know, I like this story. Ditzy's way of helping these ponies (or in Spike's case, dragons) out with their love interests... something about it just gives me a good feeling. I don't quite understand how to explain it- it's just that she seems to have this sort of natural intuition when it comes to helping ponies, and seeing her use that to help make others happy makes me (for lack of a better phrase) feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It reminds me that not all shipfics have to be heavy, fast paced romance.

#42 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

It's finally here now!

I can favorite it now!

#43 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

OMG Yes!!! :pinkiegasp: I can't believe it's finally on here~! I love this story soo much! :derpytongue2::heart::pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::raritystarry::yay:

#44 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

@Unwitting Brony

You said: It reminds me that not all shipfics have to be heavy, fast paced romance

That's the whole point.  And probably the reason this got so popular on EQD.  It's barely a real shipfic, because as soon as the part really considered "shipping" would start, Ditzy's job is done.  It keeps things a little more light and funny, and doesn't scare off those who are afraid of "real", actually romantic shipping stories.

#45 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 7 ·

Very random.  Not every day somebody gets hijacked into Pinkie Pie's imagination.

#46 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

What's this? A good fic that I've been spying on DA has now came to fimfiction?

Me Gusta :moustache:

*insta track/like/fav*

#48 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Glad to see this story made it to FimFiction!

#49 · 270w, 6d ago · 3 · · Chapter 7 ·

My mind is so full of 'what' right about now. All I can say is that now I know why Twilight stopped trying to figure out how Pinkie Pie works.

#50 · 270w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 12 ·

Oh my gosh, it's here! Yay!

Not up on the last couple chapters, but now I've no reason not to be. :raritywink:

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