• Member Since 15th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 24th, 2022



Sly Clop is a laid back slacker who runs one of Ponyville's only porn shops on Soresaddle Street. He is a regular customer of Hard Cider's "gentlecolt's club", the Knife and Apple, where he regularly shoots the breeze with Rainbow Dash, who's seen better days.

One day, his only employee quits, and he's forced to hire a new one, starting a new awkward relationship with Lyra, who needs cash. What follows is a lighthearted fic with dark undertones that I hope you'll enjoy.

And if I haven't convinced you enough by this point, no, this not a clopfic.

New cover image by mickf18 on deviantART (DeusExKane here).

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 750 )

Overall, this is a great fic that's not getting enough attention. Keep going, and you'll get a decent audience in no time.
At the very least, I'll read the rest.

hydra-on-hydra DVD?.....I'll take one of those.

Please continue, this is a nice slice of life story.

Awesome in a nutshell

I'm tracking for random reasons.

This is hilarious. Please, continue.

awesome, lol. Really funny, and it's got decent story too. Hard thing to come by. Please, continue.

An excellent blend of adult humor and situational comedy all held together by great writing. While I spotted a misspell here and there (Or just thier lack of identification when asked), everything flowed smoothly and the dialogue between the characters seemed natural and unforced. Overall, it was a great chapter and I can't wait for more.

Ironically, they where probably listening to virgin radio
Very good story

Don't say "hand or blow". Don't say "hand or blow".  Don't say "hand or blow".

What's a hand?:trixieshiftright:

Pffft.... um ponies are always naked? -shrugs- Might read it all eventually...

If you had told me 2 years ago that I would be reading a story about a pornshop set in the land of Equestria, from the girls show MLP: FiM, I would have taken you to the mental hospital.
Anyway, good story, it's pretty funny.

I really enjoy this story. It's humorous, entertaining, and somehow manages to stay tasteful despite the subject matter. Very impressive, author. I'm looking forward to the next chapters, but make sure not to go too far with it. You're tip-toeing on the line as it is!

I really like how he still said "hand" at the end.

But seriously, is this Lyra preoccupied with humans or was that supposed so be "hoof"? (I make this mistake all the time myself, have to admit I'm feeling a bit of schadenfraude coming on pointing it out to somebody else. :scootangel:)

There's also some back-and-forth with the past and present tense, as well as a few minor other items to nitpick at, but all in all I really like your style so far! Will be keeping an eye on this one.

This is freaking awesome! Good work. Can't wait for more.

At the risk of sounding like a hipster, I would like to say that I've followed you story since it's first posting and am happy that it got features on EQD. Congrats!

180313 Dammit! I thought I had gone through the fic and made sure I had fixed the terms, but it seems I missed the most glaringly obvious one! I guess I'll just go and fix it now. Good thing people did notice it in the end.


whoa, the rating here is so much higher than on EQD!

I can't say I saw this when it first appeared like Hybrid there, but no matter where or who sent me here I'm glad I've read it. Can't think of any constructive criticisms besides what I wrote in the Chapter 1 comment section, least not right now, so I'll leave it at that. Tracking this one for sure.

What is the the most awful, dirty, filthy, foul, gross, horrid, impure, loathsome, nauseating, obscene, outrageous, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, rough, sickening, soiled, unholy, vile, vulgar, porn in the shop? Is it human on Human, right? That s*** is nasty.

My friend told me about this, told me it was completely horrid. But it made me curious, will read some time. Hoping for the best :derpytongue2:

I'm not ashamed to admit that I found this highly entertaining and eagerly await more =D

Quite enjoyed what I've read so far, but it's getting late so I'll continue tomorrow. Personally, I love this kind of humor; being tasteful without tiptoeing around "sensitive issues" is a hard thing to do, and you pretty much nail it here.

OK, so after chapter 1 I will say this fic is well written and entertaining enough. The base story is OK, but the presentation of many of the aspects of the story are flat out retarded.

Chapter 1:

Saddlesore Street itself makes no sense. Ponyville isn't big enough to have a street like that. In addition, in a small town like Ponyville it would not make any sense for hookers and druggies to be out and about when they could easily get their jollies either at home or out of town.

Rainbow Dash's story makes absolutely no sense.
Element of Harmony. Personal friend of the Princesses. Only pegasus to perform the Sonic Rainboom. Personally invited to be a Wonderbolt. Cleared training in a year.
Has it all come crashing down because she slept with a teammate? Wut?
Even assuming that's not allowed the fact that Spitfire got off easy? Who is she compared to Dash? A Celebrity? Dash is that plus way more. She's one of the 6 most important ponies in the entire kingdom of Equestria.
At the least she should have formed her own areal team and continued her relationship with Spitfire now that she's not on the team.
This is one of the most contrived premises (for what at this juncture seems an irrelevant plot point) I have ever seen in my life.

"Clop" is not a term to be used in fic, it's a fandom term only.

Is "Vivid White" a human? Why does she have "hands"?

Lyra is not CERULEAN. Cerulean is blue. There is a cerulean green, but she's not that color either. She is SEAFOAM GREEN.
Colgate is Cerulean blue and would have been a much more ironically better choice since she has the same damn cutie mark as Doctor Whooves did.

Chapter 2

You use "filly-fooling" but "gays" instead of "colt-cuddling"?

*Sigh* You would really have to characterize Gilda in the worst possible way.

You realize how silly Griffon on Pony "rape" sounds? They're hindquarters are lion. Lion dicks, like all felines, are really tiny.

Just wanted to say I find it absurd that Equestrian porn is so much more messed up and hardcore than human porn.

Chapter 3

Oh well. At least Lyra's characterization is a COMPLETE retcon of the preexisting fanon.


Anyway. Considering the stir this is causing on EqD and the reassurances that "All the pre-readers loved it" I am not especially impressed so far.
I will probably continue reading this unless it goes totally off the rails.

It's fine for pure entertainment value, and very well written (I noticed no editing errors at all other than the derped youtube link for the LMFAO vid which you should remove) but I can't see myself giving more than 3 stars at this point just due to the fact that I can't take the premise seriously at all and the plot isn't really interesting to me.

Pretty good, tacking and 4.5 stars. Laughed a good number of times and congrats on getting on EQD.

BTW.. am I really the ony person who typed in 'hotequestrians.net' into his browser just for the lolz of having done so? Obviously there is no webpage related with it, but I just HAD to look it up.

and as a last side note. You butchered HTML link does not work as intended.(I think, it has to be manualy copy pasted)

Okay, that last section with wheel of fortune and the "hoof or blow" gag made me chuckle. Then, the more I thought about it, the funnier it got. I can't stop laughing. It hurts. Despite the rather... interesting subject/premise of the story, this is pretty damn funny, clever and well written no less!

Other then my inner fan being kinda miffed at what happened to poor Rainbow (seriously, good lord is that ever one wretchedly depressing fall from grace) this was an engaging story that certainly can peak the reader's interests. The mature humor is almost refreshing in a fan base focused on magical pastel colored candy equines frolicking in saccharine magic horse utopia powered by friendship. Them baby ponies gotta get made somehow!

Second favorite gag? THe image of Big Mac skipping out of the store with the little brown paper bag in his mouth, all smiles.

Annnnnnd... following. I don't know what was better, Gilda's visit (I can fucking eat your LIMBS!) or the TV show gag. God that was funny. Immature and hilariously delivered. Other than the handful of grammatical and syntax errors, and the occasional abuse of caps-lock, these are great.

>> DPV111 While I agree with all of the points youve stated, what the heck were you expecting? Try to understand that this is inteded to be read for laughs with low expectations. Kinda like watching Jackass with some friends for kicks. With that said, my interest in this fic didnt really peak till the middle/end of this third chapter.

Anyway. Neat story, gonna keep following this for shits and giggles. (And I am getting a good deal of giggles out of this.)

In contrast to Boring McAnalyst-pants, I believe you've got Gilda more or less down pat. An absolute dick, with no consideration for others. Also, the rest of the plot is feasible. (You know, given that it's centered around the sex industry in a world populated by talking pastel ponies.)

The odd slip-up with grammar and formatting was observed, but the fact that I didn't give a flying [shazbot] about them (despite my almost OCD-like attitude towards said defects in other works), and wanted to keep reading anyway speaks for itself.

Keep it up! It's getting a solid 4.5 from me, bordering on a full 5.

this shit is great

you made me spit out mucus when you did the seamen thing

gj, you get a 5

Usually, I don't approve of stuff like this. But this particular fic is just funny enough to break that trend. Especially all the innuendo on the TV. Well done, sir.

"You're gonna love my nuts."

no comments.

Nice job getting this posted on Equestria Daily, I haven't seen such a shitstorm over there in quite a while

Hahahaha! Yeah, def setting this one on my watch list. 5-Star all the way. :rainbowlaugh:

Oh god, my stomach is hurting :rainbowlaugh: Damn this is funny, I'm so tracking this :pinkiehappy:

Vivid White touched her "what" to the screen?
xD Might I recommend a ctrl+f "hand" before you publish?
But that's no biggie. Nice story so far

Obviously this guy takes his borderline-clopfics VERY seriously and hates being called gay.
And also, in Rainbow Dash's scenario, she WOULD be more important and popular. That makes what happened even more understandable. When you're popular, you have to go along with the expectations of the crowd. I take it you've never been popular yourself, DPV, and that's why you don't get it. :ajsmug:

The story thus far is just... :rainbowlaugh:
There are some mistakes, like the color Captain Frownypants pointed out, but so far I really like it.

haha this was awesome I though I would suffocate from laughing at the end of the fic:rainbowlaugh:

BEST FUCKING REFERENCE I LOLD SO HARD WITH VINCE OFFER because i watch ytp of him lots and this story pure awesomeness keep it up loving it

A story that has lyra with no bon bon and is straight? is that even allowed?

Is it wrong to offer a review of a story you like? Or to want a silly story to make sense? I get that the story is not to be taken seriously, but it's still ok to voice my opinion, right? Plot holes. They're not just for aisle 3.

I love fun. Most of my faves are silly comedies. Do you have a reason I shouldn't post a review of a story I read? I'm not telling others what to think or whether to read or not, just my opinions.
Also Gilda is a bitch not a psychopath. It WAS funny but overboard for my taste. YMMV.

Obviously this guy takes his borderline-clopfics
This isn't a borderline clopfic. It doesn't even come close... yet.
VERY seriously
It's not that I take the fic seriously. I actually like the writing but have issues with the story, so I offer constructive criticism. Why is that a problem?
and hates being called gay.
LOL. I just asked for consistency in terminology. If you use "fillyfooler" instead of "lesbian" you should use "coltcuddler" instead of "gay". Problem?
And also, in Rainbow Dash's scenario, she WOULD be more important and popular. That makes what happened even more understandable. When you're popular, you have to go along with the expectations of the crowd.
Except that 1: it was stated Spitfire was the more popular "face" of the Wonderbolts compared to newbie Dash which is why she stayed and Dash was booted. and 2: I was more referring to the fact that Dash is easily as or more"connected" than Spitfire and wouldn't be snubbed so callously. Elements of Harmony > Wonderbolts.
I take it you've never been popular yourself, DPV, and that's why you don't get it.
And this is the point where I stop respecting you and taking you seriously. Grow up.
There are some mistakes, like the color Captain Frownypants pointed out, but so far I really like it.
I see. You are taking my tone as negative toward the story and getting defensive. Just FYI I actually like this story and the author's writing style. That's why I'm leaving criticism. If I thought the story was crap I wouldn't care enough to type all that.
This is how I show my love
I made it in my mind because
I blame it on my A.D.D. baby


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