• Published 26th Dec 2018
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The Human Pet - RushyFiction

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Chapter 3

It becomes quite apparent to you why a little reptile is trusted with the cooking, when a bowl of salad is placed in front of you. Well, salad is a strong word: more like a mix of lettuce, celery, cucumber, carrots and literally nothing else. It is perfectly edible, but it hardly quenches your hunger. Fortunately you have other things on your mind, and you don't want to seem ungrateful to your hosts(especially the diamond-chomping alien lizard, I mean what the fuck are those teeth even made of) so you decide to think about food later and instead follow Lavender Lady back into the library as her... slave/butler/underling starts rubbing the dishes clean in the sink.

The two of you sit down on the red velvet couch in front of the fireplace, and the mare levitates a blue book over to you with her magic, eagerly anticipating your reaction. You shrug and open the book, but it's just more wavy lines. Seeing you shake your head, she taps her hoof against her chin in thought and then smiles again before levitating a quill and page over to you, enthusiastically waving her hoof. Write something. Okay.

You grab the quill from mid-air and ponder for a moment whether to write in the clearer printscript or wavy cursive, but eventually decide you might have a better chance of breaking through to the ponies with writing that vaguely resembles their own and jot down "Hello. I am a human." in italics. Lavender levitates the page back to herself, makes an intrigued O-face and then takes the page with her to the other side of the library to analyse under a desk lamp. At least five books jump out of their shelves at the same time to float around her for whenever she needs one. You leave her to her studying and sink into the red couch. The soft scribbling noises from Lavender's notetaking soon carries you to sleep.

"HISSSSSS!"

Or it would have, if the purple lizard hadn't made its presence known right in front of you. "Jesus, Gecko... don't scare me like that!" You mutter, and take deep breaths until your heartbeat calms down. Mr. Gecko taps on your knee to get your attention again and points sharply at the front door, where your first pal Apple Buttocks waves in greeting. Hm, maybe I did sleep. You rub your eyes clear and head over to her whilst she addresses the purple mare, who doesn't respond, completely engrossed in her work. The orange mare rolls her eyes and moves to rub the lizard affectionately on the head. He must be pretty young.

You squat down to - well, not exactly his level, but closer - and say: "Hey, I know you don't understand me, but... thanks, little fella... nice salad. Haven't had celery in a while. And... you're a pretty cool alien monster. In the nicest way. See ya." You stand up.

Mr. Gecko hisses something back to you with a wide-eyed look. You have no idea what he meant, but you decide he said: "Thank you, come again." That'll work.


As you walk out, you see the sun setting, casting brilliant red and gold hues in the sky and over the town. What a lovely place. Would be even more lovely if I had any fucking clue where it was... you think with some cynicism as the tiresome day starts wearing you down. Apple Buttocks leads you away from the town square on the same road you first came into, for which you're glad. You don't hate being the centre of attention, but when literally your every movement is accompanied with whispers and even yelps, it kind of starts to get on the nerves.

However, you're surprised when the mare doesn't head straight back to the farm where you'd met, but instead takes another road over the river, to a more private and very overgrown cottage at the very edge of town with very few neighbours. Makes sense, I suppose. Keeps me out of sight until they can send me home. You have a nasty feeling, however, that going home isn't in the cards for a while, given what a fuss everyone's made over your existence... and vice versa.

The orange mare knocks gently on the upper half of the double wooden door, and you hear a very faint noise from the inside. Your friend nods and opens both doors, motioning at you to step through. Alrighty then. You enter to find yourself in a delightfully rustic, but also extremely well-kept living room, decorated with a variety of bird-houses and wool carpets. There's also a frankly ridiculously large green sofa with matching armchairs around, a gigantic stone oven and a number of domesticated mice and rabbits about. "Holy shit." You mouth, awed by the sheer charm of the place.

All of that is dwarfed, however, by the winged mare who inhabits it. Like the filly at the farm, she's yellow(maybe a little paler), with a majestic pink mane that flows down over the side of her head and neck like a waterfall. She has a demure attitude, but looks at you with a welcoming little smile on her cute snout. You sit down on the floor in front of her, legs crossed, trying to look as unthreatening as possible to such a wonderful creature. "Look at you! You have to be the sweetest, kindest thing I've ever seen." You say, grinning.

Though she doesn't understand your words, the compliment reaches the pegasus and she holds her hoof to her lips, giggling. She also talks to you, but not in the loud whinnying and neighing way that every other horse does, but in a soft cooing that just melts all your pent-up worries away and makes you physically yawn. At that point, Apple Buttocks departs and your new number one best friend ever - even if you don't know her name - leads you to a large fuzzy round mattress on the floor, obviously designed for(and previously used by) some larger creature, but you're too tired and overwhelmed with kindness to even think of arguing. You take off your jumper and trousers and leave them beside the mattress, ready for a well-deserved nap.

However, Sweetheart isn't quite done with you yet and floats over your bed to pull the covers off of you with her teeth before dropping a toothbrush and a tube of paste on your lap. "Really?" You deadpan, but your resolve lasts for approximately three seconds after she engages the puppy eyes. "Okay! Okay! I'll brush my teeth." Fortunately for you, it seemed like the same sort of stuff as back home. Sweetheart stands guard until you're done and as you get back to your gigantic dog bed thing, she points at herself and then the stairs. I'll be up there if you, um, need me for anything. You nod in understanding and she grabs the covers again with her teeth to tuck you in. "You didn't have to do that." You smile. She pets you for a few moments, running her hoof over your head with the utmost care before heading to bed herself. But I wanted to.

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