• Published 26th Dec 2018
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The Human Pet - RushyFiction

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Chapter 9

Clop clop clop!

Looking up from your drawing, you see the Princess of the Night making her way towards your bed, elegant as ever. Instinctively, you slip the notepad and pencil underneath your blanket. Not knowing the laws or customs around here, you're not sure you want to be caught doodling their enemies. Tensing up, you simply sit and wait to see what she wants of you.

You notice that the blue alicorn's horn is lit and soon see a large tray float towards you, carrying a plate with a dish cover on it, along with a glass of orange juice. You take a hold of the tray so that Princess Luna could release her hold over it and remove the dish cover.

"What the fuck?"

It's a simple TV dinner, consisting of fried potatoes and onions, a panfried chicken leg and a slice of rolled biscuit filled with whipped cream. It's sloppy - the chicken was previously smoked and the whole thing's dripping in grease - and thus looks absolutely delicious. In other words, it's a carbon copy of the same dish your grandpa made for you for the past twenty years.

Nobody could have replicated it that perfectly without knowing him. And the only one in this universe who knows him is you. Once all those thoughts finish rolling through your mind, you face Princess Luna's faint smirk with a slack jaw. A slight motion above her eyes catches your attention and you notice that her horn is still enveloped in a magical field. She clears her throat and your notepad levitates over to you, the image of the mismatched creature facing towards you. Controlling the pencil, Luna scribbles what is very recognisably a Hitler moustache onto his upper lip, before the page crumples up in front of you and spontaneously combusts. You give her a wry look as the burning paper makes its way into the trash can, leaving bits of ash over the floor. "That bad, huh?"

She snorts, with a look of disgust on her muzzle. The fact that she has an awareness of Hitler does not escape you. Evidently she was able to crack into your head to some extent, just like you were able to peek a look into hers to know the Princess's name... and taste her hatred for the Bizarro thing, which, as impossible as it seemed to you, was not just a thing of legend. Even now, as the two of you stare at one another, you sense her feelings towards you - caution, a slight tinge of awe and fear... fear?

Why would she be afraid of me?

Her cyan eyes captivate you. They are much like Sweetheart's... ironic really, as she's the one other horse- no, one other pony that you've had a connection with, although a very different kind. Sweetheart simply loves all living things that can love back. But with Luna, it's personal. It feels as if she poked a hole into your brain and peeked in, leaving something behind. And taking something along.

Those lovely, ancient eyes... they drop a little, breaking your unofficial staring contest. She winces and turns away, leaving you wondering what was so important about your mouth. Were your teeth too yellow for royalty or something? You thought they were fine last time you checked.

Eventually, Luna forces out a taut smile and bows apologetically before turning around and leaving. You look at the door for a minute, then pick up the notepad and pencil from your side and start sketching again.


An hour later, Sweetheart returns and hoofs you your clothes to signify the end of your stay in the castle guest room. You are relieved - it's not every day you meet royalty, and certainly not every day you get mindfucked. It's been a bit overwhelming and you're eager to return to your town and let the recent events sink in a little. Donning your fabulous cape again, you stroll down the castle corridors with your pretty caretaker pony by your side, feeling pretty good. Though you hate to admit it even to yourself, being twice as tall as everyone around you and the only human around gives you a serious boost of self-confidence, and you soak in the rather flustered looks of the guards as you pass them by.

As you reach the heavy doors of the castle, you are halted by a loud whinny and watch as all the guards prostrate themselves rather adorably in front of their beloved sun goddess. Apparently, princess Tia had come to see the two of you off. This time, however, she did not approach Sweetheart, but you directly. Using her magic, Tia levitates a present to you, wrapped in white paper and bound by a golden ribbon. Seeing her expectant gaze, you tear the paper open to reveal a polished, beautifully carved custom chess set with Tia's solar symbol imprinted on the back. That better not be her ACTUAL set...

Dumbfounded, you look up at the bashful alicorn mare and for a few brief moments, you wonder how best to thank her. Hugging royalty is a big no-no, you got no presents to pull out... so for the moment, you decide to simply imitate the ponies around you and kneel on one leg, holding your head as low as possible. The action leads to a mirthful chuckle from the princess. She trades a few parting words with Sweetheart and leaves, forcing her way through an army of patient secretaries and sycophants. Ah, the life of a leader...

Clutching the precious chess set close to your chest, you follow Sweetheart out the door and into the scenic gardens surrounding the castle. Once again, your eyes glaze over the delightful fountains and hedge figures and flower beds to focus on the Bizarro statue. Remarkable detail. Did Tia and Luna make this one themselves, maybe? Before you can spend any more time pondering over it, you feel Sweetheart tug at your shirt cuffs with her teeth and see her display two tickets tucked away in her wing between two feathers. Could we please hurry up? Um, if that's not too much trouble, of course.

You smile and follow her to the train station.


BOOM!

Good things always start with a boom.

You lie on the pavement, hoping that the whine in your ears will soon dissipate and bring back your hearing while you rub a mass of confetti off of your face. Just as you get it cleared out, though, you find yourself swimming in a sea of pink cotton candy and feel four hooves grip onto you so hard that you're pretty sure you're gonna start hallucinating in a few seconds.

"heeelp..." you choke out. Fortunately, the death hold on your body is released and with Sweetheart's help, you're finally able to get up and see just about every pony you've met so far having come to greet the two of you back home. Heck, even quite a few that you didn't. But none of the crowd were more excited than the pink ball of energy bouncing around you and chattering nonstop in a chipmunk voice. You ruffle her admittedly really nice fluffy mane to satiate the crazed mare a bit, but recoil as you see her irises grow three times bigger in a second whilst her body starts shaking. Suddenly, the mare grips onto you with all four hooves again, although thankfully in a more reserved fashion and you awkwardly pat her on the back. "Well, er... aren't you a cutie pie?"

Cutie Pie babbles on and smushes your face in with her hooves. Though you couldn't understand, it was pretty obvious from the noises that she was talking in a baby voice. Then it hit you. You were apparently adorable beyond belief. So much for the dark and dramatic human. On the other hand, free hugs! Fuck it. You grab onto Cutie Pie as well and start scratching the back of her scalp. An audible sigh of contentment is released and the pony rubs her face on to your cheek. Seeing the other ponies all head off in one direction, you try to follow them, only to have your legs suddenly turn way heavier, as if you were wearing wooden galoshes.

Or, you know, Scooter and Snowy, with Buttocks Jr trying in vain to climb up your back on top of them. Seems like they really missed having you around. I am hugging four ponies at once. And they are hugging me.

You crouch for a moment to let Buttocks Jr get onto your shoulders. And then, summoning all your reserves of strength, you rise. From near your head, you hear a very clear and almost human "yeeeeeeee-haw!" and take that as your cue to start moving towards the town. One step at a time. One... step... at a time.

"I fucking love this town."

Author's Note:

I adore my grandpa, and the dish I described is still one of the most filling and tasty things I've ever had.
Though I wasn't being entirely honest when I said that's the only thing he cooks. There's also the vegetable soup, into which he literally drops an entire chicken leg, bone and all.

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