• Published 26th Dec 2018
  • 10,148 Views, 957 Comments

The Human Pet - RushyFiction

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Chapter 2

Still holding onto your hand, the lavender mare leads you to a nearby sofa and practically shoves you into it. Then her horn lights up again, sending another jolt of vibrations through your body. You assume they are scanning for something, and whatever it is, it really gets their proverbial knickers in a twist, since for the next minute or so, the two mares make high-pitched whinnying sounds at each other. Also, a bunch of books fly out of the carved shelves and begin floating around, caught in the unicorn's magic as she looks up various pages. You observe the whole thing with awe until suddenly the farm mare grabs ahold of your jumper and shirt with her chompers and starts pulling them over your head.

You pull your clothes back indignantly. "Whoa-whoa, hey, little warning? The hell?" The two horses exchange glances and you very clearly see Lavender Lady shrug before her horn lights up again. Cue another set of vibrations running through you, but nothing happens except the unicorn seems to have a headache. Or a hornache, as that's what she's rubbing with a pained expression. Apple Buttocks rolls her eyes and motions upwards with her hoof. Why do they want me to take my clothes off? You hope it's just because they're curious about your physiology. Seeing as how they could probably impale you with magic if you piss them off, you begrudgingly remove your jumper, and then your shirt once the orange mare starts rolling her hoof in the universal hurry up, we don't have all day gesture.

Once your bare chest becomes visible, you're not sure whether the expression on the mares' faces is pity or wonder, but either way, you don't like the gawping or the fact that three quills are scribbling on floating pieces of parchment at the same time behind Lavender Lady. "Yeah, we're not all blessed with freakin' velvet fur." you grumble and grab the shirt to put it back on, but the unicorn stops you with an extended hoof and motions downwards at your pants with an innocent smile.

Haha, no.

You make a big X with your arms and put your shirt and jumper back on regardless. Fortunately, the horses don't seem too bothered by the concept of personal boundaries and instead, you watch as Lavender Lady takes on a thoughtful expression and floats one of the parchments in front of her face to make additional notes. After that fairly awkward experience, the tests become more mundane - samples of hair and saliva, a few photographs taken from every side of you, analysis of your reflexes et cetera et cetera. All of this leads you to believe that the unicorn is some kind of horse scientist.

Horse scientist... Christ, where the fuck am I? Some kind of Area 51 community?

You walk around the library, trying to spot hidden cameras, but you can't find any. The two mares have fallen quiet and are now merely watching you, apparently wondering what you'll do next. You extend an arm and randomly wave it back and forth, which immediately gets Lavender scribbling again. Seems like the ball's in your court now. You head for the door, only to stop as it starts to glow with purple energy in front of you and locks itself audibly. "Right... can't let the test subject out." You mutter, and start tapping against your pockets absent-mindedly as you think what to do.

It then occurs to you that your phone is still in your pocket and you pull it out, carefully set it on the ground so as to not frighten the two, and slide it over to Lavender, who has a clear look of awe on her face whilst the farm mare merely raises an eyebrow. The unicorn encases the phone in her magic and it levitates for a second before dropping on the floor. Trying again, the unicorn scrunches her face in concentration(looking unspeakably cute, one might add) and the phone levitates an extra few centimeters before loudly clattering on the wood again. Both you and Apple Buttocks watch Lavender with concern as she appears quite taxed by the effort, blinking and shaking her head as if she was dizzy.

She could manipulate everything else like it was nothing... but not my phone? And my clothes... she had me get them off. Was that just her being nice or was that earlier headache from her trying to do it herself?

After another whinnying conversation between the horses, Lavender opens the door for her friend to leave through and motions for you to follow her into the kitchen, leaving the phone on a nearby desk for now.


Now, if there is one thing that you are finicky about, it is good food. Not to snobbish levels, but you certainly prefer to know exactly what you were getting. So the prospect of being cooked dinner by a... purple scientist alien horse... doesn't exactly appeal to you. But it seems as if you don't have to, since Lavender sits down right beside you and makes a loud noise, before resuming her new favourite activity of gawping at you with a parchment and quill on standby.

You tap the table nervously. Butler horse? Any time noooow... oh God, what is that sound?! You get goosebumps all over your skin as the ugliest, squelchiest snarling sounds emanate from the central library room and the pitter-patter of tiny feet gets closer. You stand up and move away from the table as a small, fat, purple reptilian creature with slitted pupils and green spikes enters the room. To your horror, as soon as it sees you, it starts hissing and snarling so you grab a kitchen knife. It looks tiny, but hell, so are vipers and those come loaded with poison.

Trying to defuse the situation, Lavender makes the knife in your hand disappear and waves her hoof up and down, up and down in a relaxing motion. She then neighs at the reptilian thing, which hisses back. Realising that the mare was not frightened of the fat overgrown gecko thing, you slowly sit down again. It looks at you with an uncertain expression and then takes you completely off guard by doing the V sign with its fingers slash claw thingies. In spite of your fear, a grin emerges on your face and you repeat the gesture. On second thought, it does look kind of adorable in a chubby baby sort of way. "Hey... mister Gecko... you gonna be cooking dinner?"

Gecko blinks and looks at Lavender Lady, who shrugs him off. Without missing a beat, he climbs onto a stool to reach the oven, ties a frilly pink apron around his waist and starts handling the pots and pans like a pro.

"Okay then. I dig it."

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