• Published 26th Dec 2018
  • 10,168 Views, 957 Comments

The Human Pet - RushyFiction

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Chapter 1

Ow. Light. Too much light.

You snarl a bit, feeling drowsy, waking up from a deep, long sleep. But this hard branch beneath you definitely doesn't belong in bed and neither do these crumbly leaves. Finally, your eyes adjust enough that you realise you're lying in the middle of the woods.

"What the fuck." you grumble, grabbing onto a nearby tree for support as you stand up. You're wearing your ordinary street clothes - a black jumper, denim pants, nothing special. You search your pockets and find the usual - phone, keys, wallet. The phone is dead, though. "Ah, shit."

Looking around, you note that the woods look beautiful - the trees are decked in gold and crimson, and the fallen leaves are clean and rather surprisingly, all undamaged. It almost feels like someone's dropped you in the middle of a painting. Having little choice, you start walking in a random direction until the woods part to reveal a beautiful farm up ahead. Huge red barnhouse, orchards up ahead, a mudhole for pigs and a lovely multi-storied house with a design based on barrels. Terrific, you can ask them for directions(and maybe to borrow their carpenter). Hearing the telltale clanging of tools, you head over to the barn and push the huge door open to slip in.

The barn is filled with bales of hay and there's a work station in the upper left corner, where a bright red(painted?) workhorse with a brown horse collar affixed around his neck is... hammering nails into a wooden nestbox. With his hooves. Hammering nails. For a few moments, you are completely transfixed by the absurd sight. The horse neighs a little and you decide it's best not to mess with the weird circus horse... yeah, that's gotta be it, circus horse... and just head for the house when the horse looks at your direction and the two of you freeze as you stare each other down.

Oh, fuck it, it's a horse, you don't have to worry. You walk away, only for it to start galloping towards you. Okaaaay, adios. You run towards the house as fast as your legs can carry. On the porch, you spot another horse, though a smaller one. This one's orange, with freckles and a mane that resembles hay... and a stetson on her head. Noticing the red horse chasing you, she grabs a lasso in her mouth out of nowhere, gets off the porch and starts waving it around, obviously aiming at you. What the actual-

Looking around in desperation, you notice a small work shed just a few meters away from the house and dash in, slamming the door shut behind you and blocking it with a heavy metal bolt. Turning around, you notice a terrified small filly with a strawberry red mane huddling in the corner behind a wooden crate, her eyes wide open and following every movement you make. She seemed cute and innocent enough, but after the two terrors outside, you weren't taking any chances. Circus horses could pull all kinds of weird shit.

Fortunately, the shed is well-stocked and you manage to arm yourself with a small hammer and a rusty crowbar. Not the most efficient weapons - you were hoping for a good old Evil Dead-style chainsaw - but they make you feel better anyway. Your actions seem to frighten the little filly even more and she starts wailing. "Whoah, whoah, chill out, I'm not gonna hurt you!" you exclaim, feeling that the horses outside probably would probably like you even less if you frighten their offspring. You hesitate for a moment before setting the crowbar down again and attaching the hammer to your belt before approaching the filly with your arms raised in a defensive posture.

The filly blinks, looking unsurely at you with her wet, adorably big eyes. You move slowly and smile. You had no idea whether horses respond to human facial expressions or not, but hey, never hurts to try. At the very least, she calms down and started making noise. It is the usual horse neighing and whinnying, but you feel as if it was somehow directed at you. For an animal, she is very focused. You hear the other two horses make similar noises outside and when they stop, the little filly replied to them. Talking? Were they actually talking? Animals didn't talk, you knew that. But this bunch-


The door explodes into splinters and you yelp in surprise, turn around and jump up, grabbing the hammer from your belt and holding it above your head, ready to strike. The two adult horses peer in from the doorframe and the smaller orange one starts making a lot of noise. You have no idea what she is trying to communicate - if that is what she is doing - so you keep silent and hold the hammer up. The filly slowly emerges from behind the crate and walks over to you, and you move aside so she could rejoin the adults. This one action seems to calm the horses a bit and the orange one begins to gesticulate with her left hoof, pointing at your hammer and then moving it over to the toolbox. Put the hammer down. Got it. You obey and drop it.

Then, the red horse picks up the filly and trots off towards the house. The orange one waves her hoof at you several times and heads out towards the road leading away from the farm. Follow me. Yes, ma'am. As you start following the orange horse down the road, you notice an apple tattooed on both sides of her flank.
This is one hell of a circus.

After a sweet long stroll through the countryside, which has the effect of greatly relaxing your tension even if you are still stuck in unknown territory with no memory of how you got here and why. All you can remember is heading home after a fairly miserable day at the office and then... nothing. Were you kidnapped? But if so, why were you stranded in the middle of the woods? And what's the deal with the horses?

Oh well. At least the weather is spectacularly good. The sun shines down on you from between the clouds, and a comfortable, gentle wind blows on your face. A small streak flashes across the sky and you look up. A trick of the eyes? No, now another streak flashes across and you can clearly see a cloud dissipate right in front of you in seconds. You stop and stare upwards. The streaks remind you of shooting stars, but it is the middle of the day. And there should be nothing that can just make clouds vanish like that.

An annoyed whinny from Apple Buttocks pulls you out of your confusion and you follow her onwards to the small town ahead. Ah nice, she's taken you back to her owners-

Several audible gasps from the townsfolk match your own. Horses! All horses, of every color of the rainbow and then some! Flying horses, unicorns, horses who deliver mail, horses who sell cakes, horses who ride on other horses! And you don't even know what the pink one's doing exactly, but you're fairly sure it's illegal in at least 99.9% of the world.

Before the situation can turn bad, your orange pal grabs onto you with her forehooves - the ends of which somehow magnetically clamp onto you, sure, why not - and drags you away from them and over to a gigantic treehouse. Inside of the treehouse is a vast library of books, a staircase that leads to the second floor and an emblem of the sun imprinted on the ceiling. What a place! As the orange one runs off to find someone, you take one of the books off the shelf and open it up to find nothing, but identical wavy lines. You check three other books to get the same result. "Tripping. Definitely tripping." You mutter to yourself. You made a mental note to check your fridge the minute you wake up. And then have some more, because this is the good stuff.

A clopping sound alerts you that Apple Buttocks is back with a brilliantly violet-colored unicorn, whose short, stylized mane is streaked with pink. "Whoa." You mouth to yourself. That mare would win beauty contests back home! Her jaw drops as she sees you. Her horn lights up - magic is real, didn't you get the memo? - and your whole body vibrates slightly. Whatever it did, it really seemed to get the purple unicorn excited, because she gets up on her back hooves and claps her hooves together, squeeing. Like, literal squeeing. It's too cute for words! No one's ever been that happy to see you.

Filled with warmer feelings towards her, you extend your arm in greeting. After sharing a glance with Apple Buttocks, the Lavender Lady raises her own hoof and lets you grab hold of it. You shake it slightly and nod towards the mare. "Pleased to meet you."

You now live in a land of sapient ponies. Super.

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