Chapter 21
What if Sweetheart likes not having me around? I'm a burden who can't even talk.
What if... what if these ponies are not what I think they are? How do I know stopping the Changelings was the right thing to do?
Maybe once they learn enough about my world to make passage there, they'll stop indulging me and lock me up somewhere... take me apart to figure out how my anti-magic works…
what if-
Nurse's teeth latch onto your comforter and pull it off of you in one swoop. With a friendly smile, she then moves to the other side of the bed and points her hoof at the calendar, with an X marked on the current day. The day you go ho- the day you go back to that cottage you're staying in for now. Temporarily. You smile back politely, but your insides are all jittery.
The encounter with the Changelings had a bigger effect on you than you'd thought at first - as you'd sat on your bed these past two weeks, your lack of understanding when it comes to this world had come to clear focus and you just... worried. About everything. You can't help it.
What's going to happen to me? Am I just stuck here like this forever? Who can I trust, and why?
With a sigh, you lower your feet to the floor. Though communication with your healers was difficult, it seems that you're improving fast, now having to only rely on one wooden cane to move around as the deep cuts on your legs grew less and less bothersome. You pull the gown over your head and pull out your own clothes from the bedside drawer. They're the same white shirt and black trousers you'd worn the day of the invasion. Since you hadn't had the chance to put them back on after leaving through the bloody cockroach queen's magic shield, you had no idea how they ended up in the hospital with you, but here they are, Dracula cloak and all.
You manage to squeeze all the leftover candy into one paper bag to carry with you(nature abhors waste, after all) and exit the ward. Nurse sits on her haunches at the door, her fluffy pink tail flicking absentmindedly. She reminds you of a dutiful guard dog so much that you have to force yourself not to scratch her cheek. These are conscious beings, with agendas. Tone it down, idiot.
Awkwardly, you extend your hand in goodbye. One of her ears twitches in slight confusion as she gives you her hoof, which you slowly shake. "Um, thanks. For everything. Yeah." Oh, what's the point? They don't understand. To avoid further embarrassment, you just nod, turn around and limp away with your bag. This day was not off to a great start.
When you reach a corner, you look back, but Nurse has disappeared. Yeah, yeah, she's got a dozen patients probably. At least I'm out of her hair now.
You find yourself standing in front of the hospital, alone and increasingly uncomfortable. Ponies move about their business all around you, but you can just sense their short, curious looks in your direction. What's that giant monkey doing here, unguarded? I hope he's been fed. An image of that rich filly's butler pony serving you up a chunk of meat in a blue dog bowl flashed into your mind, and you dug your nails into the paper bag, ripping it slightly.
Looking around, you find all the benches occupied by at least one pony, and you don't want to upset them or draw further attention to yourself by sitting next to a patient. Can I sit down on the grass? What'll they think of me then? Uncultured? Abandoned? Feeling bitter and isolated, you do just that.
They sent nobody to meet me? How the heck am I supposed to find my way back to the cottage? For the first time, you question Sweetheart's competence as a... zookeeper, or whatever she does. Who just leaves an animal in unknown territory like that? Fuck! The fuck am I supposed to do now? Go sleep in a trench? In spite of your doubts, you'd come to see Sweetheart as someone you can count on, and the notion that you might've been wrong is so upsetting that you start rubbing your eyes to avoid crying here and now. "Shit..."
Suddenly, you feel a cold nose poking against your hands. You lower them to meet Shaggy the bat pony's concerned gaze. "The fuck do you want again?" you snap, seriously not in the mood for games. "Fucking weirdo..."
Being on equal level with you, Shaggy moves in to try and nuzzle your cheek, but you move out of the way and push yourself up with your cane, out of his reach. The bat pony's face sags in a frown. "I don't know what you're after, but I'm not your teddy bear, dude. So I'd reaaaally love it if you... you..." you pause as you see a familiar pink shape bounce in and out of your vision.
"No fucking way!" You shout and try to hurriedly limp back into the hospital, but the cockroach queen is faster than you and stops in front of you, a remarkably creepy grin on her face. No doubt back for revenge. "Stay away from me!"
You trip, and fall onto your hard candy. "Ow!"
The disguised pink pony's smile drops and she pulls on your shirt with her teeth, dragging you up to a sitting position. "What are you after?!" you whine, not wanting to have to fight for your life again.
The pony makes an O-face, and then slowly reaches for your right hand with her snout. You pull it away quickly. What's she gonna do, bite off my fingers? This seems to surprise her, and for a few moments, she just sits there with a depressed frown, as if unsure what to do now. Finally, she points her hoof at your hand, and then to her head.
Wha...?
You try and follow her by raising your hand, which is what she seems to want as she pushes her head against it, letting your hand pass through the light curls and feel around the warm, round forehead, all whilst looking at you expectantly.
What's so special about her head? I…
Your mind flashes back to that terrible day at the store, and the Changeling Queen, with her black, crooked, hard horn... concealed within a deerstalker cap.
"You don't have a horn." you say flatly, and drop your hand back to the ground, feeling more upset than ever. "It's really you... Cutie Pie." You smile faintly, but feel worse than ever for having upset her. Having gotten through to you, Cutie Pie beams and rears before giving your waist a properly tight hug. "Heh, yeah... it's good to see you too." You ruffle her mane.
Just as quickly, she releases her hold on you and takes your bag of candy for you, holding the straps with her teeth. The two of you follow the road away from the hospital and into the streets of the town, with Cutie Pie somehow managing to stick right ahead of your slow butt despite bouncing like a basketball on a sugar high. You look around nervously as you walked. She may not be the Changeling, but Chrysalis is still out there. And who's to say there weren't more of them? You realise how paranoid your thoughts are getting, but can't help feeling tense. It's like your first day in Equestria all over again. Everywhere you look, you see... alien. Alien people, alien way of life, alien sun, alien grass et cetera, et cetera.
You're out of the safety of the hospital now. No Nurses with the Hippocratic Oath here... if the Hippocratic Oath is a thing in this universe. Point is, it's every human for himself.
Sweat starts beading on your forehead as you and the thankfully oblivious Cutie Pie wander across the town centre and you see the candy store for the first time since the incident. It's in business - somehow, you hadn't expected it to be, but of course it was. I have to... I have to get knives. I have to get gear. I need to go back, to that forest. I need to find the portal home.
As you watch Cutie Pie's pink form bounce up and down, and up and down, your vision tunnels and you start to feel ill.
Your inner turmoil distracts you so much that when you finally arrive at your destination, you're taken a little aback to find yourself standing in front of the gate to the Apple Farm. You lean on the slightly faded white fence to regain your senses, breathing heavily. Somehow, the rustic charm of the place forces away your repellant thoughts, leaving you to admire the grandiose red barnhouse, the high hills in the distance and the fields filled with corn and apple trees.
It's perfect. Too perfect. Too ordered. Your memories are filled with far different images - the cold, the muddy, swampy terrain. Gnarled trees all bunched up together. A small barn with bland, peeling paint and foggy windows. Magic's really done them all a favor.
Meanwhile, Cutie Pie's really losing her patience with your hold-up, judging from the way she's vibrating in place as if charged with so much energy and hype that she simply cannot physically tolerate any more delays. So you walk back to her, at which point she hops over the gate and disappears into the barn with enough speed to make the Road Runner jealous.
"Cutie Pie!" You call after her on instinct. "Where're you going?!"
Not hearing any sort of answer, you push the little pony-sized gate open and hurry after her towards the barn as fast as you can. To the ponies, the barn doors would have been huge, but you manage to push those open with ease as well. At the same time as you enter, a projector over your head switches on, and a picture you'd never thought you'd see again is lit on the opposite wall - it's the image of a classic action film poster that you'd used as the wallpaper on your smartphone. At the same time, a pop song from your playlist starts playing from somewhere. That would have been shocking enough, but the barn also contains a long table covered in white linen and buried under pies and cakes and snacks and barrels of unknown liquid. A long purple banner hangs above the party scene, though as usual you're unable to read the blurry lines.
As you're still shocked by all this, six ponies emerge from behind various hay bales and support beams. Your mind races like a mile a minute as you put things together - two ponies with wings to attach the giant banner between two walls, two unicorns to finish repairing the phone and setting up a large table with cutlery and two earth ponies to cook a wide variety of treats and even a proper... roast... chicken.
"Oh my God..." you whisper, completely overwhelmed with a flurry of emotions - love towards them, a tinge of self-loathing towards yourself for doubting, surprise at how exactly all of this came together and some residual fear. You choke up and start shaking a little, not knowing how to even react to this.
Sweetheart trots out of the line of ponies and you sit down on the ground to be on eye level with her. Her hooves land on either side of you, letting the yellow pegasus pony reach over and rub her tiny, furry nose against yours in fondness. She pulls back with a gasp, however, when she notices the tears streaming down your face. Needing the contact, you pull the pony into a tight hug, burying your face in her flowing blossom pink mane and digging your fingers into her warm fur-covered back. You can feel her hooves wrapping around you as well, the pegasus sensing your need for someone.
"You do care about me! ... I care about you too. So much." You whimper.
Sudden warmth around you alerts you to the fact that the other ponies have surrounded you two in a group cuddle, with pink, orange and purple cheeks snuggling into your neck and two white hooves emerging around your stomach for a sneaky hug. Above this mushy pony-human mess floated the blue one with the crazy technicolor mane, folding her hooves and pouting.
Noticing her wings flapping, you look up and happen to look straight into her purple eyes. Watching you, her grumpy expression melts into a sort of nervous laughter and finally, she lowers down to pat you on the head a bit before beelining it to the snack table, where you and the other ponies soon follow.
Four of you sit on one side of the table, and three on the other. You're at the center, with Sweetheart on your left and Lavi on the right. Opposite to you is Daredevil, Cutie Pie, Applebutt and finally the Goddess; empress of lookin' good, as usual.
Using her horn, Lavi levitates a wooden mug of foaming liquid(beer?) and taps a spoon against it. You hold back a snort. Good manners, wrong place.
She then goes through some kind of speech, but as it is all horse sounds to you, you tune out and instead eagerly eye the chicken. Soon enough, all six ponies cheer and Lavi levitates a mug of the same liquid over to you as well. All of you clack mugs together and you're finally able to taste the ponies' concoction.
It is not beer. Instead, it's an incredibly smooth apple cider. You'd be disappointed, but for an apple cider, it tastes divine. Honestly, it's probably better than beer and you can't say that about many ciders. It goes down the hatch easy.
The ponies all giggle at the dopey expression on your face as you finally lower the mug. Lavi, correctly assuming you'd want to dig straight into the meat, levitates the chicken your way, changing the atmosphere from one of amusement to one of tense anticipation as it is obvious that none of them had ever seen a carnivore eat, with the exception of Sweetheart and, strangely enough, Daredevil(though she might just have a good poker face).
It amuses you to observe their childlike reactions as you tear a chicken leg off - Applebutt winces and turns visibly green in the face, the Goddess levitates a fan over and starts rapidly waving it back and forth and Cutie Pie calmly pulls out some confetti and wraps it around her eyes before blindly grabbing a plate and snacking on it. Lavi sniffs the chicken curiously. A parchment and quill float behind her back, constantly scribbling new notes as she familiarises herself with the meat.
Feeling adventurous, you cut out a chunk, no bone and offer it to her on your fork. The purple unicorn's mouth opens and closes several times, and she bites her lower lip. Finally, she takes a deep breath and snaps it off the fork, chewing it tentatively in her mouth. However, her eyes suddenly widen and she spits it out, gagging and rubbing her hooves over her tongue to desperately rid herself of the taste.
"Damn. Good thing we're not in Kentucky." You quip, smirking.
A loud clopping of approaching hooves interrupts the party. As you turn to look, the barn doors are enveloped in dark blue energy and open to reveal a dark grey-blue horse proudly wearing the emblem of a crescent moon on her chest and flank. Her blue, speckled mane floats in a non-existent wind around her and she carries a deep confidence unmatched by any in the barn around her.
In short, she is the Princess of the Night. As all others bow, you rise to meet her. Judging from her expression, she is pleased to see you and bows in respect. You reciprocate. Not knowing what else to do, you offer her a chance to join at the table, which she accepts, speaking in Equestrian to her subjects before sitting down on the ground at the end of the table, thus matching the height of the ponies on the seats. At a whinny, one other pony enters the farm, dressed in a formal, but comfortable set of armor around his barrel. It's Shaggy from the hospital. With his bandages gone, you can see his intimidating wings more clearly, though they still bounce against him, awkwardly stiff and clearly not fully recovered yet.
You lend Shaggy your own chair, much to his surprise, and scratch the bat pony's big flappy ear a little, resulting in an involuntary nicker from his part, much to the amusement of Princess Luna, who giggles behind a hoof. A red-faced Shaggy sits down next to Lavi and Sweetheart as you rest your rump on the other end of the table from Luna, who promptly fills a mug from one of the barrels and gulps it down without hesitation, daring you with her lidded eyes to do the same. "Oh, you're on, Princess." You growl playfully.
Boink.
Boink.
Boin-
"Stahp." You grumble. It's warm, it's nice, waking up is not high on your list of priorities.
Boink.
You try to wave it away, whatever it is. It's nice and cosy in all this... fur?
"Hmph?"
Against your better judgment, you force your crusty eyes open and see a bright white face looking down on you with knowing smugness. "Oh. Hi Queenie." You say to Princess Tia, ruler of Equestria. "What's up?"
You rub your eyes clean with your one free arm and quickly realise you're in a bit of a quandary. Not only are you not in a bed, but in a pile of prickly hay, you're also practically buried under moon pony. "That's funny. I don't remember going to sleep here."
Wait, why is Luna your blanket?
You look at the scruffy mess of blue and black wrapped around you, and back to Celestia. "Oh. Errr..." you move your mouth, but no words come out. "In my defense... I don't speak your language so I'll go back to sleep til the trial. Mhmh."
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Well darn, I'm still wondering who won the cider drinking contest? But if it meant a cuddly Luna, I'd do it every week.
I know that ending's probably innocent enough, but...
9544566
Was it an adult roll in the hay or a literal roll in the hay? ................. Or both?
9544570
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week
Trial? Please, if anything Celly will just laugh her ass off and tease Luna about it. And annoy Anon for scritches.
Wait, I know how he knows Luna's name, but how does he know Celestia's name? Do I just not remember?
9544608
There was a certain amount of bleedover when Luna first tried to use her dream power on him, and he picked up on "Tia" as Luna's nickname for Celestia. That's also why he's now calling them all ponies and not horses, and knows that the land he's on is called Equestria.
9544578
I'm taking it as literal. They got drunk in a cider drinking contest and probably just passed out in the hay lol
Ha twilight ate chicken
Hey great to see you've gone back to the writing style that drew me into this fic. I liked the subtle parallels between Discord and Anon, especially providing more insight into what might've been Discord's motivation for doing what he did and how you showed that the party kind of saved Anon from that mode of thinking.
I really hope that you have Anon talk to Discord at some point, maybe telepathically since Discord is in stone.
Ahhh.... nothing like a little invasion to get the relationships going.
Nothing like a bit of PTSD to spice things up a bit
Just snuggel Luna till the end of time!
Luna snuggles! He may be purged by Celestia but it'd be worth it to cuddle Best Princess.
9544612
I don't quite remember, did Luna look through his life during their mind-meld? If so, she might be able to understand his words, but not speak them because of biology.
9545152
She tried to put him to sleep and then enter his dreams to communicate with him, but the anti-magic barrier screwed with the spell. As I already said, Anon got some of her memories and she got some of his, but she wasn't really in control of the process.
9545185
Neat
For a second I thought he was going to be stuck with PTSD. Which, considering what happened, would have been a completely reasonable result and a great narrative device. Still, cute ponies are always a plus.
He has absolutely no shame at the end there, and I love it. Course he knows nothing happened, but that look he got from Celly probably would have me blushing from the implications. Luna will probably make up for the lack of reaction for us when she wakes up though...
Edit: Also, who else would be super interested in agetting a chapter here and there where we hear what the ponies are saying during all of this? Sometimes I want to know what the equine opinion of our friend here and the things that happen around him are.
9545080
Strange, I thought he was cuddling Luna, not Celestia. Oh well, she'd probably enjoy either/or.
I strongly approve.
9545423
9544732
God, I wish I had chicken right now. I swear, the minute it's payday, I'm hitting the closest fast food joint and getting me some bloody nuggets and fries. I'm down to canned pea soup, it's pathetic.
9545545
All i have is chicken ramen
9545549
9545559
Would a song help?
9545562
only if it's Queen
"BEELZEBUB HAS A CHICKEN LEG ASIDE FOR MEEEEE, FOR MEEEEE, FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
I somehow missed the part where Shaggy Bat Pony's wings were injured. Glad I found out, because now I understand his friendliness and gratitude towards anon better. When Anon brought him down from the ceiling in the hospital that one night, Batpone actually was stuck up there because he couldn't flutter down on his injured wing.
9545314
Yeah, purged by Celestia for cuddling Luna because it looks like something else.
9545574
Ha
9545599
I was implying Celestia was best princess and that she's probably not going to mind at all, more find the situation funny.
Wait, Shaggy is a guard?!? Whoa! ...we'restill shipping them.
Cooked chicken, eh? Not seasoned or anything? Well, at least Twilight tried it. A poor setup for first impressions. But who did the cooking?
Keep going! ;)
Will they ever understand each other?
9545652
I would imagine Fluttershy to be the one who cooked it. Though where they got the information it needed to be cooked to begin with leaves me a bit confused since all the predators or omnivores she takes care of probably has their meat raw. Would ponies even know of the Maillard reaction? I "would" imagine they would have done very basic seasoning since he's obviously not just an animal though you probably won't find more then just basic salt and pepper.
9545643
Ah. See, I thought you simply misunderstood, not that you denied that Best Princess is Luna like a maddened hamster.
9545872
Yes
Another great chapter. The kindness of the Mane 6 was so sweet.
That end was adorably hilarious
In the event of bedding a princess, do you:
A. Take it like a man?
B. Make sure the kids are yours?
C. Accept the fact that you bedded a princess and that's as far as your life goes?
9546479
D. Bed her some more
9545969
Dragons, griffons etc.
Cooked meat isn't alien to Equestria
9546304
Best princess is clearly Cadance.
9546674
I so agree on that, Cadance most stable, hah stable ruling horse.
Also he went from being nasty to the bat to nice to the bat in a really short time.
9546304
Dohoho, you are feverish, friend. Everyone knows that Best Princess is Her Imperial Incandescence, the Dawnmother Celestia.
However, Luna is definitely Best Little Sister and apparently wonderful to cuddle, if Drunkanon has anything to say on the matter.
9546430
Woohoo
1.bp.blogspot.com/-x9Lw2To2LN4/TkcYn6qcC9I/AAAAAAAABZY/TOh3OilSgj8/s1600/legend_rep.jpg
I always listen to the songs but yeah i am eagerly waiting for more to come
9551977
9551979
Mhm its how i actually found one of my fave songs through the story known as Soldier of Magic its called Warrior song
9551982
I'll remember to give songs a chance after all!