"Excuse me, ma'am." Anon broke the uncomfortable silence. Crystal Star stared back at him, unblinking. "You invited us here. Specifically, you invited me. You sent a letter to Shaggy's- I mean Crimson's superiors at Canterlot Castle, to be given to him. And in that letter, you asked him to introduce me to you. I would very much like to know why you did that."
All heads turned towards the mistress of the house. Redheart licked her teeth, still red from the blood she'd drunk.
"Can't you hazard a guess?" She asked, nodding towards the Alicorn Amulet on Anon's chest.
"I can. Conscious predators are selfish by nature, they're concerned only with themselves and their own offspring. That means the only interest you can have in me... is what I can do for you. Unless you really do think of me as an alpha who has to be eliminated. Or perhaps it's both."
Crystal waved dismissively with her hoof. "Oh, I could never eliminate a specimen such as yourself!" She sipped deeply from her cup. The others politely followed her example. A bloody mustache was left on Super Star's pale upper lip.
"Well, I'm flattered. So what do you want?"
"Tell me about your world."
Anon rolled his eyes. "Not much to tell. My kind happened to evolve into the most intelligent beings on the planet. We removed our opposition. Then we spent a lot of time fighting amongst ourselves. Now most of us are too smart for that. So we just... rule."
Crystal hissed in pleasure. "It's just as I pictured! Ruthless, unyielding conquest, and then the savoring of the bounty!" She laughed. "I was born in the wrong place! It's this infernal... harmony... that stunted us all! That's why I want you here, mr Anon. I just know that a touch of your savagery would make it all go away. Especially when charged through THAT." She licked her lips, looking at the ruby eyes of the Amulet.
Redheart's eyes darted to Crimson, clearly wanting him to do something about his treacherous mother. Lighthouse was tense, ready to spring to action on her corporal's command. Even Super Star seemed uncomfortable, and kept stealing glances at her brother. But Crimson did not move a muscle.
"You're the final piece of the puzzle that will help us resurrect our rightful leader, the glorious Nightmare Moon!" Crystal closed her eyes in reverence. "Chained now by the false persona Celestia has created for her. But we have a found a way to undo the Sun Strumpet's deeds! All we need is power!"
Applejack shook her head. "Ah don't really see how Anon can help ya, with the shape he's in."
Anon frowned comically. "What about my shape??"
"Now, do try 'n' not take offense there, sugarcube. I'm sure yer tall and mighty where you come from, but here yer spindly and furless. Anypony could take you, if it weren't for the Amulet. And ah remember hearing something about the Amulet wanting to be worn by the toughest sonny there ever was!"
Crimson raised a hoof, as if he was still a student. "Uh, I don't. According to Twilight Sparkle's report, the Amulet turned ponies evil and it couldn't be removed unless you tricked them into surrendering it."
"That there is true on the base level." Applejack smiled patronisingly.
"You mean she left something out? That's not like her at all."
The farm pony scoffed. "Twilight don't know everything! What she dealt with was Trixie Lulamoon, that idiot Care Taker's granddaughter." She made a show of looking around the table. "Where is that darn pony, anyway?"
"Everyone enjoying their drinks?" Crystal giggled to herself.
Slowly, very slowly, the group realized what she meant. They looked down into their cups with absolute horror. Redheart tossed hers across the room, shattering a distant mirror. Everyone stood up, ready to fight. Everyone except Crystal and Applejack.
"You're a monster!" Lighthouse growled at Crystal. "What did you do?"
The female bat played coy. "Little old me? I did nothing. Applejack on the other hand..."
"Ah killed him." said the farm mare carelessly. "Tore out his esophagus. He was still flailing around when we filled the cups."
Crimson seemed totally discombobulated. "M-mother?"
"We're doing it, children! We're doing it now! Stand beside me!" Crystal Star shouted happily. Super automatically jumped to her hooves and joined her. Crimson turned to look at the smear of gore that Redheart's cup had left on the wall. He turned back and shook his head.
Applejack's eyes flashed a violent green colour, and she dropped her accent entirely. "Sombra, I know you're in there!" She growled at a terrified Anon. "Trixie was a powerful pony, and you felt safe with her, I know! But behold the strength I wield! This alien is not worthy of you! Compel him to surrender the Amulet to me! Compel him! Compel him!"
Anon clutched onto the necklace and tore it off his neck.
"No!" Lighthouse moaned. "Skinny, stop!"
He didn't. Instead, he thrust the Amulet into Applejack's greedy hooves. The farm mare laughed and her visage melted away in a spurt of green flame to reveal that of Queen Chrysalis.
"Get up!" You're pressing every button on the player 2 gamepad, to no avail. "Get up, it's the fucking Swiss cheese pony again! Dammit, Eris, move my ass!"
"I can't!" You hear a voice beside you. Eris is huddled up on the armchair beside you. She throws the player 1 gamepad away. "I'm sorry, I thought I could... I thought I had what it takes, but I don't, I, I, I... I'm so scared! Daddy, I'm scared! I don't want to die!"
"Hey!" You pull her into a deep hug, sinking into Eris's warm grey fur. "Shh. I got this one."
You grab the player 1 gamepad off the floor and press reset.
You stand up, finally in full control of your faculties again. Anon's back, bitches.
"I remember you." You say, pointing at the overgrown Queen Cockroach.
Cockroach cackles malevolently. "I'm flattered. You put up a good fight that day. Took a bite out of me, even... not that anyone could tell."
"Also rode on your back. And that I did tell."
"Silence!" Green magic yanks you against the wall. You feel it close around your throat, ready to suffocate the life out of you...
"Wait! I want him alive!" Mama Bat commands.
Cockroach snarls at her. "The Queen of the Changelings does not take orders! Do not forget, it is I who wield the Alicorn Amulet now!" She repairs the chain with her magic and locks it around her neck.
Mama Bat is furious, but has the wits to reason with her. "Think of what he is. He could still be useful to us. Kill the nurse if you want blood."
"No!" Shaggy roars, stepping in front of Redheart. His facade of confusion and fear has dropped. "I've had enough of this. I hoped there was still a way back for you, mother. And maybe there still is. But today, we will be enemies." The bat corporal pulls a hidden whistle out from underneath his thick fur and blows into it.
The sound, completely inaudible to everyone else, is deafening to thestrals. Four bats burst into the room: one from the window, one from the fireplace, two from behind paintings... somehow.
"The Grounded Gang!" Nurse exclaims in awe.
"Hah! Pitiful!" Cockroach's horn begins to glow again.
You grab the nearest cup (of don't-fucking-think-about-it liquid) and splash it all over the Alicorn Amulet, causing it to explode in the Changeling Queen's face, filling the room with smoke.
In the chaos, the Grounded Gang - professionals all - keep a cool head and rush you and Redheart out of the mansion. Once outside, you can hear furious screaming from within.
"How'd you do that?!" Shaggy gasps.
"Me?" You ask with the same fake modesty that his mother used minutes earlier. "Oh, I had the fake amulet made ages ago. Back when I was nuts. Knew it would come in handy. But it was Luna who thought to turn it into a smoke bomb. She has a wicked sense of humour, that one!"
"So where's the real thing??"
You bite your lip. "You really don't wanna know."
"Might I draw your attention to the dozens of thestrals heading this way?!" Lighthouse barks, her ears curling. "They've raised the alarm. Which means our chances of making out alive are becoming slimmer than Fleur de Lis on diet week!" A maniacal smile forms on her lips. "This is gonna be fun."