I was lucky Twilight was quick on the draw, because I really needed that bucket.
"I haven't even eaten yet," I panted, wiping my face on my leg. "WHAT AM I THROWING UP?!"
"Teleportation nausea," Twilight explained. "It's mostly common in Earth Ponies, for some reason. You start getting used to it after about the third time or so."
"I hope so. That trip did not agree with me."
"Are you feeling alright now?"
"Y-yeah, I think I'm--wait!" I shoved my face back into the bucket, my heaving likely loud enough to be heard from space. After about half a minute of that, I reemerged. "Yeah, I'm good."
Twilight's horn glowed and the bucket vanished. I liked to think it had just dematerialised from reality, but the rational part of me knew some poor so-and-so was about to receive a bucket of bile. Well, it'd spice up their day, if nothing else.
"Now then," Twilight said, taking the opportunity to talk while I was busy catching my breath. "This is my new office, so to speak."
I took a look around. The room was mostly a very light blue, with some purple drapes. A throne stood at the top of a podium, which had little streams of water trickling down both sides of the carpet leading up there from the door. The stained glass windows caught my eye next, primarily the ones of Twilight looking quite majestic, and of a trio of grumpy-looking characters getting zapped by orbs with... familiar-looking symbols in them.
"Twilight," I finally said, "what're you trying to tell me here?"
"That I'm not just the Princess of Friendship, Sharp Sight," Twilight said evenly. "Recently, I've also become the Princess of Equestria itself."
"Hah?" I blurted. "As in, the whole nation? You're running the whole show?"
"As of a few months ago, yes." She held a glint of humour on her face. "I can see you're shocked--I told you it'd be best to tell you everything bit by bit."
"Should I bow?" I asked. "For the 'Equestria' Princess part?"
"I think we're past that," she giggled. "Anyway, I took over from Princess Celestia and Luna some months ago. While settling in, I came across some scrolls and tomes left behind by Star Swirl the Bearded. That's how I jumpstarted that project I told you about."
I nodded, recalling how lost I was at the time. I did recall a beard being mentioned, though.
"Wait," I said, holding up a hoof, "so you have two castles? One for each Princess job?"
Twilight shook her head. "Oh, no. The castle in Ponyville used to be mine, but I gave it to Starlight after my coronation. My, uh, 'Equestria' coronation, I mean. I lent her a lot of my study material, hence why I was there." She waved a hoof to emphasise what I figured was the throne room. "This castle is officially mine. You might have seen it down in Ponyville? On the side of the mountain."
I furrowed my brow. Thinking about it, I never actually looked any further than what was ahead of me on the street back there. The thought of a castle on the side of a mountain never occurred to me, but it didn't surprise me either.
"I was... preoccupied," I said with a shrug.
"Have a look for it when you go home, then," Twilight said, unfettered. "Oh, you should have a tour of Canterlot, too. That's where we are right now--it's sort of the capital of Equestria. Don't worry about the city being mostly full of Unicorns, nopony will take a second glance at you since we started getting all kinds of creatures visiting."
"Unless I'm hanging out with a member of royalty," I pointed out, recalling what happened back in Ponyville.
"Fair point," she admitted. "Still, have a look around the town when you can. There's a lovely place on Restaurant Row called The Tasty Treat, you've gotta try it."
"I just might," I said, looking back at my saddlebags. Just as well I kept my bits inside instead of leaving them at my house with no locks like a sane Pony would do. A whole street dedicated to eateries definitely sounded up my alley.
Hah. Street. Alley. I'm funny.
"I'm sure you've got a lot of questions," Twilight spoke up, snapping me out of it.
"Umm," I muttered, biting my lip. Did I have any questions? Twilight more or less answered everything back in Ponyville. "I guess I never really pegged you as the leader of a nation."
"I've been getting that a lot lately," Twilight said with a smile. "I haven't exactly grown into the position yet--in both ways."
I raised an eyebrow. "Both ways?"
"Oh, I should take you to meet Celestia and Luna sometime," Twilight offered. "I think you'd like them. Oh, and you should visit the Crystal Empire as well. My brother's the Prince there, y'know."
"I didn't know, actually." My eyes widened in surprise. "Are your parents a king and queen someplace?"
"Oh, no, it's just me and Shining Armour," Twilight admitted. "Equestria doesn't really do kings and queens--one of each tried to destroy it a few times. In other timelines, they succeeded."
"Wait, 'other timelines'?" I repeated. "So you're a time traveler as well?"
That got a snort out of her. "I've dabbled. You wouldn't believe how much as happened to me since I became the Element of Magic."
"I dunno," I said, shrugging. "At this point, I think I'd believe anything."
Twilight smiled, a bit fondly I thought. "That's a good attitude to have. In Equestria, the best way to survive is to expect anything to happen anytime. Ponyville's kind of a hotbed for weirdness, I've found."
"Glad to know I picked a location where the action is."
"No kidding," Twilight laughed. "Take it from me, you've got a front-row seat!"
I let myself chuckle, and I realised something. I was with the Princess of Equestria, the leader of the entire nation, in her throne room, and we were chatting it up like a couple of noponies in a coffee shop. I could believe she wasn't born into royalty, with how humble she was.
Suddenly, Twilight's face turned somber. "I'm... I'm sorry, Sharp Sight."
I tilted my head a bit. "Huh?"
"For dragging you into this. My little experiment is the reason you're here, and might be stuck here for some time." She looked down at her hooves. "It's my fault, and I'll do whatever I can to set things right."
"Hey, c'mon," I said, craning my neck down to meet her gaze. "I don't blame you. Sure, I was a little upset at first, but it's not like you were trying to pluck me out of my world, right? Besides, like I told you, I don't exactly have much waiting for me back there, so I can wait."
Twilight glanced back up at me, still looking regretful. "Well, I certainly wasn't trying to take anypony. I'll look into why that happened as well--it certainly wasn't supposed to. But, with all my new duties..."
"Don't go out of your way for just me," I said. "You've got a whole nation to run. Take care of all your people--uh, Ponies--not just one."
She swallowed and took a breath before looking up at me. I spotted a tear trickling down her face, but she was smiling. "I don't think you'd need my school--you're already such a good Pony, Sharp Sight."
Crap. A nice, unbackhanded compliment. How was I supposed to take that? "Well, I'm sure you'll teach me a few things anyway, Princess."
Yeesh, this is schmaltzy. Nice and wholesome, but schmaltzy.
Twilight took another deep breath and shook herself out. "Anyway! I'm glad you're being so understanding, that'll make things a whole lot easier. I do have duties as a Princess to take care of, but I'll certainly make time for getting you home."
"Like I said, no rush," I assured her. "I mean, I have to visit all these places you're telling me about, right?"
She grinned. "That's true! I'd love for you to see all of Equestria while you're here. In the meantime, if there's anything at all you need, my doors are always open to you. You can always ask my friends back in Ponyville too--Rarity and Fluttershy told me about how you helped them, and Pinkie seems to like you. Then again, Pinkie likes everypony, but it'd be a problem if she didn't like you." She giggled.
I could only wonder what Applejack told her about me. Though, since Twilight didn't seem upset at all, I figured she either had nice things to say, or nothing at all. I wasn't sure which was better.
"I probably should start making my own friends," I suggested. "Instead of piggybacking from your friends list."
"My friends list isn't exactly restricted," Twilight smiled, "but making your own friends is always a good idea. Life is always easier with somepony having your back, right?"
"Honestly, I'll need somepony at my back, my front and my sides."
Twilight giggled. I'm pretty sure making a princess laugh is good luck in some cultures. That or a marriage proposal.
"Well, naturally, I'd say Ponyville is the place to start making friends," she explained. "It'll be easy since, well, you live there for now. But you must have a look around Canterlot while you're here. If you need directions, the guards know the city like the back of their hooves."
I looked at my own hoof, and couldn't help but wonder if the expression lost a bit of meaning in this world. I wasn't about to question her about it though; I was sure she had better things to do than discuss analogies. Though, with her love of books, discussing analogies could likely be near the top of the list.
"Might as well," I said. "It'll do me some good to get a lay of the land. Could grab a coffee or something."
She leaned forward. "Between you and me," she whispered, "the coffee on Restaurant Row is a bit on the pricey side. Stick to the little cafés on the main street."
"Noted."
"And like I said, my doors are always open to you, Sharp Sight." She grinned. "Figuratively and literally--I've started letting tourists walk the grounds. No point in keeping it all locked away, right?"
"That's some serious trust," I pointed out. "You're not afraid someone will take advantage?"
"I've taken on magic-sucking Centaurs, Changeling hordes and proper demons. I think I can handle someone trying to make off with an expensive vase."
I shrugged. "Fair enough. You must be a serious superhero, huh?"
Twilight's purple cheeks flushed pink. "My friends and I do our fair share of protecting Equestria, but I don't think we'd call ourselves superheroes. Well, Rainbow Dash might."
Rainbow Dash. She seemed very familiar. I'm almost a hundred percent certain I walked into her at that party. She sounded like a good time.
"Well, you're doing a super job regardless," I said with a smile.
Oh good lord, Sharp. Melt that and put it all over your pizza.
"Thanks, Sharp," Twilight said, beaming. "We'll do our best, that's for sure."
"Good to hear. Anyway, I'm sure you've got plenty to do, and I'd love to see what this city's like, so..." I trailed off, edging toward the door. Not that I didn't like Twilight; all this talking was making my throat dry up. I wasn't kidding about that coffee.
"Oh, of course." Twilight nodded and gestured to a guard. "Could you escort Sharp Sight to the gates, please?" The buff Pegasus by the door nodded and marched out to the hallway.
I blinked. Why did I suddenly need an escort? I was a grown Pony, right? "I'm not gonna be the one making off with an expensive vase, Twilight."
"It's so you don't get lost," Twilight said flatly.
My cheeks flushed a little. "Oh, uh, I knew that."
Twilight and I bid each other farewell and I followed the guard to the entrance, getting a look around. It definitely looked and felt like a castle from the inside, with all the expensive paintings and decorations. I made a mental note to have a look at the exterior and see if it was as shiny as the castle in Ponyville. If it was really hanging from the side of a mountain, I definitely expected something grandiose.
Don't disappoint me, castle.
"And here we are," the guard said, the two of us standing at the front doors of the castle. At least, I assumed the street and the hundreds of Ponies walking on it weren't part of the castle grounds. "The gardens are back inside if you want to visit them at anytime; just follow the signs."
"Will do," I said. "Think I'll check out the town first--see if I can get a camera or something."
I wondered if Ponies knew what cameras were as I thanked the guard and went on my way into Canterlot. Judging by his lack of strange expression, I figured cameras were a thing here. Or he just wasn't listening.
I suddenly got this weird feeling and I looked over my shoulder.
Is someone watching me?