You Done a Stupid
The sound of a cornucopia of clops filled the air around the human as he ventured towards Canterlot Castle in the distance. With all of the fun he had been having, Eric seemed to have lost track of time, and unfortunately now resided in the Canterlot equivalent of rush hour.
“Excuse me, pardon me,” Eric politely addressed every time he felt a hoof, flank, or muzzle nudge him to the side. It was more so a force of habit from his time on Earth, than from trying to maintain the perfect persona of a Foreign Dignitary. After all, physical contact was more commonplace among pony society, allowing the ponies associated with the culture to desensitize themselves to such thoughts of rudeness when another equine happened to bump into them. Surprisingly though, not many ponies paid him much mind when they accidently bumped into him, which was perfectly fine with the human. He was never one for attention when it came to playing against the norm in pony society. The less stares Eric received, the less likely chance of something happening and snowballing out of control for the human. And judging from past experiences, when the shit hits the fan, it goes from zero to FUBAR in under ten seconds flat.
Despite the seemingly uneventful trip through the crowd of ponies, a particularly forceful shove brought the human from his thoughts, causing him to stumble and nearly crush two small foals before managing to catch himself in time.
“Watch where’re you’re going peasant!” A refined middle-aged stallion shouted, waving his hoof in the air.
“Sorry about that,” Eric quickly replied, stepping more out of the way for the pompous asshole to pass. The green-coated stallion snorted in annoyance before hair flipping his well-groomed mane and venturing towards the wealthier district further up the hill and nearer to the castle.
“Fucking dick,” Eric mumbled to himself, making a mental note of the high-class asshole, or want-to-be noble as Eric usually referred to them. Eric had to admit there were plenty of pleasant and well-rounded individuals of high-class littered throughout the city of Canterlot. Though for some unknown reason, the human had a way of attracting the assholes of any group, no matter how small. Pushing the thought of the stallion out of his mind, Eric continued on his journey towards the castle.
After another short encounter with a pompous noble a few minutes away from his location, Eric had finally made it to the large ivory archway that funneled visitors through the security checkpoint and into the castle.
“Halt, state your business creature,” a young but semi-masculine voice called out from underneath the archway. Looking incredulously at the stallion, Eric was momentarily confused as to why he was being addressed.
“Umm, I sort of live here,” Eric, replied. His tone still filled with confusion before noticing the single stripe on the guard’s set of armor.
Great, the new guy. Inexperience and uniformed. Continuing his approach forward, the stallion quickly stepped in front of the human’s way, his horn glowing a faint orange.
“Likely story. I’ve never seen or heard of you before in my life,” the overzealous guard countered, stunning the human into silence once more.
“What the fuck? This stallion really doesn’t know who I am,” Eric thought incredulously before shifting his attention to the other, more experienced guard. It was only after he managed to get a good look at the mare that Eric knew exactly what was going on.
“Oh I see how it is. So that’s her end game.” A small smile soon found its way across the human’s lips as he tried to walk around the stallion once again.
“I said not to move!” the stallion bellowed, unsheathing his sword and levitating it towards his target. Eric once again froze in place, staring down the guard before turning his attention to the mare.
“You might want to inform your subordinate that drawing a weapon with lethal intention against a foreign dignitary is not only against the law, but could put him in prison for a few years,” Eric calmly stated. The blue-furred mare nodded her head with an exasperated sigh.
“I was hoping he would follow proper protocol and try to deescalate the situation first before asking for identification, but it seems that wasn’t the case.” Turing her attention towards the guard, she shook her head in disappointment.
“Private, attention!” The mare bellowed loudly, snapping the private to attention as the orange glow from his horn fizzled out, dropping his sword with a loud clang.
“Private, do you have any idea who this creature is?” The stallion puffed out his chest slightly more before responding.
“Ma'am, no ma'am!”
“You don’t do you? And from what you said earlier, you have never seen or heard of him, correct?”
“Ma'am, yes ma'am.”
“And what would you say if I told you that Mr. Lancer does in fact live in this castle, and is soon to be wedded to both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna? And you had the audacity to draw your sword on him with lethal intention.” The stallion’s express faltered for but a moment, his orange coat growing pale as a ghost as his voice caught in his throat.
“I-I have no excuses ma'am,” the poor private managed to choke out. If he was being honest, Eric sort of felt a bit bad for the stallion. The guard obviously knew he had fucked up majorly and didn’t follow proper protocol. It was only when he understood the severity of his folly and the thought of what the repercussions of his actions would be, that the stallion’s posture begun to falter.
“Alright, come on. I think he has learned his lesson, though I still think you should make him brush up on all the protocols so an incident like this doesn’t happen again.” He stated before making his way past the mare, and stopping next to the stallion at attention.
“Oh, and private. Please refrain from pointing your sword at me again. If you do, well,” Eric added before he leaned closely to the stallion’s ear.
“They will never find your body,” Eric silently whispered in his coldest tone. The stallion’s reaction was immediate as a soft and unstallion- like whimper forced its way from the frightened guard.
“Well, that takes care of that. Keep him out of trouble Skylight.” With a wave to the female guard, Eric ascended the large set of ivory stairs before making his way through the front doors.
“Ah, that was refreshing,”
“And a little uncalled for,” a familiar voice finished. Turning his head to the left, Eric was greeted by a soft nuzzle from his soon to be wife.
“I hope you didn’t scare my guard too badly. It was an honest mistake,” Celestia defended. Eric just rolled his eyes with a nod.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. I only said that so he wouldn’t do it again. Imagine if he did that to a Griffon ambassador?” The thought sent a shiver down the human’s spine, as he knew good and well what would happen to the poor stallion.
“He would be thrown in a pit and forced to fight a guard of the griffon’s choosing. If he lived, he would regain his honor, but if he lost, he would be sentenced to death,” Celestia casually replied.
“And that doesn’t seem a little over the top to you at all? I mean, I understand the whole honor thing, but throwing a private into a pit to fight for his life for a simple mistake? Seems a bit harsh if you ask me.” A gentle white wing soon found its way over the human’s back as Celestia ushered her mate towards the throne room.
“While it may seem barbaric for our standards, Griffons are not a part of our culture. I have learned from many years of experience that it is best to just respect another country’s culture. Unless of course it violates any basic creature’s rights, such as slavery and torture.” After pushing open the large door to the throne room, Eric reached his hand towards Celestia’s cheek before giving it a tender and caring caress of his own.
“Well, you would know more about that topic than me. All I know is that I haven’t pissed them off yet, which is a good sign,” Eric playfully stated, as Celestia retracted her wing from Eric’s back.
“Indeed it is. Despite your unique physique, I do not think you are well equipped to handle a fight to the death.” Shaking his head, Eric scoffed at the statement Celestia had just made.
“You’d be surprised what I could do given a life or death situation. You remember my first encounter with some of your guards?” Eric pointed out. Celestia slowly sauntered her way towards her throne in thought.
“I think I do recall that incident. You injured seven of my finest guards, while it took about five more to restrain you. From the report I received, they were all non-life threatening injuries though. I will admit you still managed to give them a good run for their bits,” Celestia added with a giggle. The small smile the human wore grew larger as he followed Celestia next to her throne.
“So how’s the construction of my throne coming along?” Eric questioned. Celestia’s horn grew bright for just a moment before a sheet of paper floated effortlessly in front of her sight.
“From the time of the order, the carpenters and blacksmiths predict it will be another week or so at the least. After all, this isn’t just any old throne.” The last part hit Eric hard as he took a seat on the ground next to Celestia.
“I still can’t really believe it,” Eric quietly said with a sigh.
“Neither can Luna or myself. You know, it was her that actually suggested you as a suitor.” Eric’s gaze quickly shot to Celestia as he confirmed that it was indeed the truth. The incident from before earlier in the day soon brought a guilty feeling upon the human as he stood up from his spot on the floor.
“Is Luna still asleep in her room?” He received a small smile and nod from the princess.
“You know she meant no harm in what happened earlier today. It was merely a joke she took a little too far.”
“I kind of figured that after I was able to clear my head. I know she wouldn’t force herself upon me and I should have realized her joking nature wouldn’t let her pass up an opportunity to mess with me like that.” Walking down the few steps from where the throne resided, Eric turned his attention back to the white mare.
“I will see you at dinner. I’m going to go make things right with Luna,” Eric said, before walking off towards Luna’s room.
The journey took a little longer for the human, since he was departing from the throne room instead of his own. Though within ten minutes, Eric stood in front of a beautifully crafted brown oak door. Giving the silver crescent moon a simple touch, Eric pushed the door open before poking his head inside. Despite the time being only a few hours after midday, the blackout curtains and dark interior of the room made it almost impossible for the human to navigate his way around the area.
Trying to move about the room from memory, Eric was barely able to make out the dark contours of the large bed. Luckily, he made it to the edge of the bed without tripping over himself or a piece of furniture. Feeling a sense of victory, the human slowly felt his way along the bed; before his hand glided over the soft fur of his target. Drawing his hand back with a pause, Eric slowly shimmied his way under the covers before pressing his chest to the warm mare’s back. A light shuffle soon caught the human’s attention, as the warm lump he had just pressed himself up against rolled over to where her soft yellow eyes filled with guilt.
“Eric, we are so,” Luna tried to say, though was met with a soft finger to her lips, silencing the mare before she could continue.
“None of that Luna. I forgive you. It was a silly little joke that got taken a little too far.” Eric said, wrapping his forearms around the mare and pulling her close so they were now chest to chest. Luna gave a small nod of understanding as she nuzzled her muzzle into the human’s chest with a sigh of content.
“Goodnight Luna. I will see you in a couple of hours,” Eric gently whispered, running a hand through his mate’s hair as he lulled the princess to sleep. Within minutes, the human was soon to follow.
Stats
Page generated in 0.022 seconds
Total duration
1,087 users online
1,980,077 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
7883874 Pun intended!
Her eyes are not yellow.
7884175 There will be a reason for that later on. I do not wish to spoil it, but yes, I did that on purpose.
Boo, bad internet connection
but ~yay~ 
new chapter!
I was going to say the same thing but ok; I trust you.
nice update. and sorry but i hope your internet gets fucked up. i wants me some more
7884226
Ya just spoiled that there's a spoiler there m8 gj rip
:V
7884853 There is a reason for it, but I won't say what that reason is. Not really spoiling much. If anything, i'm sure it just makes people more curious as why she has yellow eyes.
Cute
"Mam" should be "ma'am".
Other than that, everything else is good.
I wonder how is throne will look like.
7884853
Changeling?
Changeling.
Or Nightmare Moon, that's a good one.
Mind Control?
Maybe, but Sombra in Disguise is much better.
Thoughts are better represented by italics than quotation marks, otherwise it looks like he's speaking aloud.
You say there's a reason for her yellow eyes, so Imma guess night vision
Wait I'm confused, was he intended to give court with Celestia or just wanted to clear the air and then see Luna? or that happen after everything happen and he chat with Celestia? because if he already knew, why not go to Luna strait away?
I'm looking forward to the chapter
7892242
I don't think so. I think he was just accompanying Celestia to the throne room while continuing their conversation. It wasn't until he saw the order for his throne that the reality of the situation hit him. Which reminded him of how he reacted to Luna's prank. I think the three of them are very close friends and he feels bad for jumping to conclusions. Eric is certain Luna is beating herself up about it and knowing how affectionate ponies are with each other he goes to cuddle Luna as part of his sincere apology for over-reacting. She's one of his best friends and soon to be wife. How can he NOT go comfort her and let her know all is well between them. A very touching, 'd'aww' kind of moment coming from him. Of course this has much of my own headcannon influencing that conclusion but that's how I saw it.
7894707
the why did he sit on the floor if he was just accompany Celestia?
7894714
Well, he had just walked back to the castle having to dodge who knows how many ponies. Plus, that was the moment the realization that he was going to be 'Prince Eric' was hitting him. I know I'd have to take a seat to while collecting my thoughts over something so weighty.
7894725
Wasn't the trip to the bar suppose to do just that?
7894819
Yeah, I think the "Liquid Confidence" had worn off by the time Eric had his conversation with Celestia.
7894852
Wow either the way from Canterlot to the bar is further than I though or that man can sober up REALLY fast
7894861
That's where some hand waving comes in I guess. My headcanon is that pony alcoholic beverages are not as strong or don't affect humans the same way.
7894871
That make sense, human sweat usually make a horse drunk
7913809 Is it really that bad?
hope i didnt run into another story that will be uncompleted this story is really cute and gave me a few good laughs im adding to my tracking list :P
7914047
No that was sarcasam
Since when does Luna have yellow eyes?
8615242
It will be explained later in the story. Don't worry, it is not a typo.
Pretty good, as always
------------
*fewer
"Eric, we are so-” Luna tried to say
Makes the stop sound more sudden