As the sun rises over the glistening, snowy fields of Ponyville, you find yourself roaming across town, still fuelled by the excitement of last night. It's a matter of hours until the first train goes to Canterlot. Returning to Fluttershy is out of the question. Her chicken coop was becoming rather demeaning anyway. You'll probably send for your belongings... if you have any. Well, even if you do, it hardly matters. In Equestria, you can have anything. You have the dimwitted ponies eating out of your hands, after all. Some have even taken a fancy to you! And why wouldn't they? After a lifetime of smelly horses, you must be a sight for sore eyes.
The streets are deserted, save for a weather pony here and there. You float across the road in a state of euphoria. Are your feet even touching the ground? You're not sure.
"Anon?"
You turn around to see Eris's languid form standing in the middle of the road, silhouetted against the pink sky. "Yes, what can you do for me?" You smirk. "Now let me guess: you're here to apologise for nearly blowing my brains out. Well, there's no need. I forgive you."
The draconequus scowled. Because of her mismatched appearance, one sharp tooth stuck out of her mouth, almost defiantly. "I have feelings, you know. I'm alive!"
"You're also desperate." You sneer, unwilling to burden yourself with the emotional woes of this magical freak. "And scared. Nearly giving me a brain aneurysm made you realise that if something happens to me, you're toast. Or perhaps not. Perhaps that is what you want... it's the Amulet, isn't it? It's controlling you. You're magical and I'm not. So when I die, you will have its full power and my body to use it."
She looks aghast. "That's not at all-"
"Be silent." You command. The ruby eyes on the Amulet flash slightly, and Eris stops talking. "In a few hours, I'm taking the train to Canterlot. There, the Princesses will remove you. What happens to you after is their business. Until then, out of sight... and out of mind."
Mournfully, the wild girl fades away into nothingness, leaving you alone on the road. You stroll ahead, your feet in rhythm with the imagined trumpets of servants. You're imbued with an overwhelming confidence the likes of which you've never known before. The Princesses, oh, the Princesses! You cannot wait to see them again, it's been so long. You're sure they must have missed you. With your alien knowledge and perspective, you can help them get this dreamy land of sheep running like clockwork. Industry and progress, and untamed weather for all! It's only fair. When these ponies have been tempered by drought and hunger and storms, they'll be indomitable. It worked once for the Crystal Empire, why not everywhere?
To you, it seems as if all the tools are right there in front of your nose, waiting... no, begging to be used. The perfect workers and the perfect shepherd. You wonder why the Princesses themselves hadn't thought of it. Perhaps they had, once. But the need to bring happiness and contentment to the masses had dulled them, and allowed entropy to set in. Well, you don't blame them for that. It's a difficult job, ruling.
You carry on dancing through the dawn.
POP!
The champagne poured into the glasses with wild abandon, much of it splattering against the floor. Not that any of the human men and women present in the hall cared, for the excitement and lust of the night had driven all into a frenzy that could not be quelled. Red-faced musicians blew out brassy jazz as if their lives depended on it, and the blue light of the moon shone in through the windows, mixing with the feverish yellow gloom of the electric lamps.
Somewhere, a woman yelped at a particularly unchivalrous touch.
Eris tiptoed awkwardly through the human crowd. "Watch it, darling!" Someone barked as hoof pressed against polished shoe.
"Sorry!" she squeaked, and hurried on. She wasn't quite sure herself where she was going, but anything had to be better than this. A claustrophobic pressure came onto her. She wanted some fresh air and silence desperately, but it seemed like the hall went on forever, with an ever-increasing amount of lavishly dressed aristocrats surrounding her, all indulging their darker natures.
It wasn't all infinite, however. She could see quite clearly into what had to be the center of the room, which held a beautiful red velvet throne. Anonymous sat there, dressed in a fine green suit like some parody of Peter Pan, and observing the proceedings with a detached gaze. He was drenched in sweat, booze and saliva, yet held a fixed grin on his face. Eris couldn't tell if he was aware of his surroundings. Occasionally, one of the many guests would come and bring tribute - a golden crown. All identical, all piled on his dripping hair.
"All hail the King!"
"Hip-hip..."
"HOOORAY!!!" The scream reverberated through Eris's skull. She clutched her ears, trying to force the noise out.
Somebody pulled her into a rough dance. Well, it'd have been an insult to call it a dance. It was more that she was thrown and dragged and pushed and slapped until she didn't know what was up and down.
"Dance, pretty one, dance!" Someone laughed.
Eventually, she was knocked onto the ground at Anon's feet, and a tray fell on her head, the glasses shattering against her large antlers and covering her with more of the same stinking drink that was practically wafting through the air at this point. Blinking through the burning liquid, Eris looked up. Anon hadn't reacted.
"Stop it!" She shrieked at him. "Tell them to stop! It's too much!"
"Out of the way!" The crowd shouted angrily. "We want to see the King!"
Eris was dragged up again, and shoved out of the way into the arms of aging lotharios who held her tight. "Calm down, princess. Here, give her something to calm her nerves, eh?"
The draconequus struggled, but despite her flexibility, she had little muscle strength and couldn't do much as the most vicious gentleman took a hold of her jaw with two hands and pulled it open. For a brief moment, Eris could feel the disgusting, bitter taste of his fingers, until another poured booze down her throat. The drink was so potent that stars exploded in her eyes. She stumbled back into the larger crowd, drowsily wandering about. If it wasn't for the rhythm and power of the raucous music, Eris might have dropped off. But something about that hypnotic song kept her going, kept her... dancing.
To dance! To sing from the top of the lungs, to scream your defiance to the heavens!
Eris felt alive!
Not free.
Just awake.
Grinning malevolently, the enlightened draconequus pulled a random passerby into a deep, passionate kiss and giggled as the smitten man hopped away. She now hoped to taste them all before the night was done, and in Anon's delightfully sullied mind, it never was done. When the battle's lost before it's started, why do anything but dance and mock all the winners out there?
So Eris kept on dancing. She wasn't sure how long she cavorted and frisked.
All she knew was that at some point, she realised she'd become so numb that she hadn't noticed it all slowing down and stopping. When she opened her bleary eyes , she was still inside the hall, surrounded by broken chairs and glass, instruments, abandoned balloons and confetti. The masses had disappeared, though Anon still sat on his throne. His head bobbed slightly, and a few of the crowns clattered onto the floor with a loud, dissonant clang, shocking Eris into falling onto the floor. She rubbed her head through a filthy, matted white mane. Behind Anon, Princess Luna emerged, bearing an expression of not inconsiderable disdain.
Though Eris had never met Luna, she recognised her from Anon's memories - the Princess's breach of Anon's anti-magical barrier had birthed her, after all. Their eyes met, and Luna snarled.
"Discord. My sister thought thy trickery was at work, and she's rarely mistaken." Her horn began to glow menacingly.
Eris held her arms out defensively and looked away. "No-no-no, I'm not Discord, DON'T HURT ME!!" she cried out. Nothing happened. She peeked an eye open. Luna's spell had dissipated and she had an eyebrow raised.
"No... perhaps not." Luna said slowly, considering her options. "What art thou, then? Some manifestation of the Dark Amulet, meant to lull us into false security? Or a mere phantom of this man's conscience?"
The draconequus stood up, balancing herself on the throne. She'd had enough of being pushed around. "I am not a mere anything! I'm a human be-" she stopped sharply, realising her faux pas.
"Yes?" Luna inquired.
"I'm a... I... I am." Eris stuttered desperately, searching for a word that she knew she didn't know. "I am! I am! I am!"
Luna squinted, using her centuries of experience to try and detect some falsehood in the young one's voice, but she could not find any. That did not entirely quell her suspicions, however. "Why art thou here?"
"It's bad manners to leave a party early." Eris sneered, but even as she said them, she knew the words were not her own, but of the drink. She forced out her real voice. "I can't leave. Anon is my father."
The alicorn glanced briefly at Anon's bleary-eyed face. "Indeed? And who might be thy mother?"
Eris could only fidget in response. Luna tossed away one of her metal shoes and placed her hoof right under Eris's chin, forcing her to look up into the Night Princess's eyes. The gentle blue shine of them calmed Eris's heart. She told the alicorn everything. Not just about her heritage, but everything that had happened to her since she was born, since Anon and Luna touched minds. The first moments of awareness, the development of a separate identity from Anon, the successful attempts at communication and the decision to model her physical appearance on Discord. Last, but not least, she told her of Anon's increasingly misanthropic behaviour.
The explanation disturbed the alicorn princess on many levels, and she could certainly not abandon the possibility that this was some kind of trap concocted by the Amulet, or maybe even Anon himself.
However, the alternative - that Eris was telling the truth - meant that she was alone. Desperate. Imprisoned.
Feelings that Luna knew all too well from her past. So she took a leap of faith and made a conscious decision to embrace Eris with trust.
"Listen. Thou art real. Thou hast said so. And since it is so, thou art never alone. Anon shalt be brought to Canterlot with all due haste, one way or another, and we will personally find a way to remove thy thoughts from his. That is our promise... as mother of thee."
"M-mother..." Eris stuttered, her voice cracking as she realised she was safe, that her mother would really look after her. Luna nodded, and sat down onto the floor next to Eris. The Princess felt as awkward as the draconequus, unaccustomed to expressing pure emotion.
"Come here, child." Luna whispered. Eris shuffled closer, until she rested against the alicorn's neck, and felt a large wing wrap around her into a protective cocoon. It was only a dream, thus not quite real, but the message it sent was clear enough. Eris nuzzled into Luna's dark blue fur. "Mother..."
Luna gasped as she suddenly awoke from Anon's dream. She glanced at the clock; 5 in the morning. Time to lower the moon. Her heart still racing, the Night Princess rose from her bed and held the moon in her magical grasp as she dressed. It was routine enough to be almost thoughtless. Somewhere else in Canterlot Castle, Celestia would be raising the sun. As soon as she was ready, Luna raced off to find her.
Slamming the doors of her private quarters open, Luna faced a surprised bat guard, who'd been keeping watch in the corridor outside for the past few hours. "Where is our sister?!" Luna demanded with her usual tact and volume.
The thestral shrugged awkwardly, barely concealing his shiver. Guards were not used to being addressed so directly. "I, uh... am not sure, your Highness. I've not seen her, errr, Highness for some time."
"Then find somepony who has!"
The guard bowed and fled, half-running, half-flying. To his credit, he returned within a mere minute with notice from a secretary who'd seen Princess Celestia head towards the hot springs.
The magical hot springs beneath the Castle were essentially a private bathhouse, accessible to only Celestia and Luna(and on rare occasions, Cadance). It was a place of contemplation, meditation and also for discussions that the sisters did not dare risk having anywhere less secure.
As Luna entered the vast underground chamber, she saw that her information was correct - Celestia was standing under running water, humming an ancient song to herself. The white alicorn was bereft of her usual adornments. Her wet mane hung limply around her shoulders and her fur bristled at places. It was Celestia as she wished to be seen by her family - the vulnerable, ordinary mare that she had once been, and in some ways still was.
"Hello, sister." She greeted Luna warmly, knowing that she was there without having to open her eyes. Luna wasn't quite sure what the trick was, except that perhaps she had become far too familiar with loneliness to not notice its absence.
"Tia... how do you feel about becoming an aunt?"
Celestia slipped and disappeared into the pool for five seconds. She emerged with a gaping jaw. "Details, Lulu! Details!" She squeaked, swimming towards Luna in an uncoordinated manner that would have given any trained guard a belly-laugh. "You haven't taken a stallion, have you?? By the stars, it's not the apple farmer... is it?!"
Luna rolled her eyes. "Don't be silly, Tia."
"... Well?! Do not keep me in suspense, Lulu!"
Luna swiftly conveyed everything Eris had told her. "It was but a dream, and we cannot be convinced of its truthhood til we hast seen Anon again. But one thing's for sure - Sombra's Amulet hast sunk its claws into the hyooman's thoughts."
"As we predicted." Celestia sighed, shaking her head. "It is not without reason that the Shadow Party have become ever bolder, ever more outspoken in their defiance of me. Crystal Star believes, I think, that her son will bring the Amulet to her."
Luna snarled involuntarily. "Then she hast made a gross miscalculation. Crimson Star is a stallion of good heart. He will not confuse his love of his mother for a good cause."
"Perhaps not, but it would be wise to fortify his loyalty to us regardless." Celestia noted. "This new assignment we've planned will put it to the ultimate test. Perhaps a promotion?"
Luna scoffed. "And be accused of favouritism? Don't be absurd. We will not shower our servants with presents to earn what they have already given freely. The plan will work. We... I just wish there was another way. After all, Crimson's loyalty to us is little different from the Shadow Party's love of Nightmare Moon."
"On the contrary, it's entirely different. We are real. Our love for our little ponies is real, and their love for us is real. The Shadow Party worship the ghost of a greedy mare who promised them - and only them - power. That mare is gone, and is not coming back." Celestia argued.
"Tia..." Luna said slowly, her old eyes full of doubt. "Can we really all live together? All ponies? All of us with such disparate ideas and wants and needs? The Shadow Party, they... their ancestors were mine! My guards! My friends! They want me to lead them, and I want to lead them. Perhaps I should just... take them away from Equestria, and..."
Celestia could not bear to hear any more and used her magic to push Luna into the pool. The blue alicorn could only let out an undignified yelp as she landed into the water, where her sister pulled her into a hug. "Tia...!"
"Shhh, come here." Celestia cooed into her ear. "I'm sorry, I had to wake you up. You seemed to be sleepwalking in somepony's nightmare still."
For a few minutes, the two sisters simply held each other in the warm water, drawing strength from company. Finally, Celestia spoke: "I will not have you go anywhere. Not ever. Not again. Trying to be Nightmare Moon and Luna at the same time would only drive you to madness, and I... I can't do this again. I just can't. I'd give up. Now hear me, sister, and hear me well - forbidding your thestrals from drinking the blood of innocent animals was the right call. It is difficult to see them suffer through this change, I know. But change they must. Don't placate them, Lulu. Don't let them hold up their old ways in pride. History has its place. But it is to be learned from, not worshipped."
"I'm sorry." Luna whispered. "I'm still... weak. I'm not what I was."
"Oh, you are." Celestia chuckled, wiping the tears away from Luna's eyes. "You are more like the old Lulu with every passing day."
Luna couldn't help smiling at that, despite her heavy heart. "Crimson will bring the hyooman here soon. Then we can finally start putting an end to all of this. I'm sure that he'll let nothing stand in his way."
"But this isn't a social call!" Crimson whined like a foal. After the party had ended, he had been appalled to discover that Ponyville Hospital hadn't cleared him for a return trip to Canterlot in spite of the Princesses' clear instructions.
Nurse Redheart rolled her icy blue eyes, and resumed reading his chart. "Doctor's orders. Celestia, Luna AND Cadance could come here all together and you'd still be too sick to move. Your hooves need time to recover. We have sent them a note."
"A note?!? Wha-what do we have magic for??? Can't we get someone to cast a heal spell or... something?" The bat gesticulated wildly.
"... have you any idea how much metaphysical effort would go into fixing broken bones and torn muscles and damaged nerves? We'd have a unicorn sharing this ward with you if somepony tried."
Lighthouse's big, lamp-like eyes danced back and forth, observing the argument with amusement whilst loudly crunching on cold chicken legs. Redheart twitched occasionally at the sounds.
"B-but it's the Princess! And it's Skinny! And it's like the only job on the field I've ever had!" Crimson insisted. "I can't mess this up!"
"You're not messing it up, you're healing from a crush injury! It's an inescapable little fact that your precious little head won't get around."
Crimson clacked his teeth in irritation.
"Why don't we just tie this jenny up already and get to the train station? Have one of our colts at the Castle do the paperwork later." Lighthouse suggested, malevolently chewing slower.
The nurse stiffened.
"Tempting, but no." Crimson joked. He patted Redheart's arm. "Don't worry, she doesn't mean it."
"Sure I do! We-"
The bat corporal booped his subordinate into silence.
Red was not amused. "That's positively the last time I'm letting visitors into this ward. Ever!"
"Oh, won't you talk to the doctor on my behalf? Pleeeeease?" Crimson pouted, and blinked rapidly in some ridiculous attempt to look cute. Lighthouse made gagging sounds.
"Even if I did - which would go against my every instinct - and even if he gave his consent - which he won't - you would still need to be under constant medical supervision for your entire duration. That means no, fluffbrain."
As Crimson's ears began to droop again, Lighthouse's nose focused on something that Redheart had set down on the table next to her boss. "Wow, will you look at that! A pink handbag! I wonder who it might belong to?" She said smugly, holding it in her teeth.
The nurse growled. "Give it back to me."
"No-no-no, wait! Look what's peeking out!"
Lighthouse dropped the bag and held a yellow slip of paper up with her hoof. "Why, I thought it was the intoxicating smell of a fresh train ticket! And to Canterlot, no less! I believe it's scheduled for tomorrow morning. Now, wouldn't it just be reaaaal lucky if it belonged to some medpony around these parts who might just be able to do a medical superwhatsit when we're reporting to the princess in Canterlot?"
"Me?! I am not qualified!" Redheart protested. She snatched the bag back from Lighthouse, who snorted.
"Wait here." She said before scampering off into the hospital corridors much to Red's frustration.
"What is that ridiculous pony doing now?" she asked Crimson, who could only shrug.
Within half a minute, the two of them heard a series of loud shrieks before Lighthouse returned, dragging the incredibly pale doctor into the room. "Now tell her what you told me." Lighthouse spat.
Shivering, the doctor tried and failed to stand up. "U-um, it's my... my medical re-recommendation that C-Crimson Star be allowed to enjoy some... some period of... fresh air. Promptly. A-and it would be a good idea if a nurse was with him at all times. I hear Canterlot is relaxing this time of year."
Lighthouse patted him on the head patronisingly and stuck a lollipop in the earth pony's mouth before finally releasing him. The doctor bolted without further ado.
"I don't believe this!" Redheart hissed.
The female guard leaned mischievously against Crimson's bed. "You know, when I was a foal, I used to think life was one tough gamble. But it's just about pushing the right buttons, really, isn't it?" She bumped elbows with her boss. "Be seeing you, sir."
"0800 hours, at the train station!" Crimson called out as Lighthouse left. The latter half-saluted, half-waved.
Red huffed, and stuffed her ticket back into her handbag. "The nerve! Wherever did you find that parasprite, anyway? She can't be a regular guard."
"Oh, Lighthouse? I didn't find her - Princess Celestia did. Well, actually, it's more like Lighthouse found her. She and her thestral colony tried to rob the Princess as she was passing through the Smokey Mountains. When they realised who it was, they were so scared that they volunteered to join the Night Guards before she got a word out!"
The nurse facehoofed.
"Hey..." Crimson stroked her back. "Don't let her get to you. She wasn't actually gonna hurt that guy."
She pushed him away, snarling: "I'm a nurse. Do you think I panic that easily?"
"Well, if it's about me coming along-"
Red glared at the bat strongly enough for him to shut up. "It is not about you. I resent having my hoof twisted behind my back while a lowlife masquerading in uniform laughs in my face! Is that what you did when you convinced me not to tell anyone about your theft? Push the right buttons?"
"Wha-? No! I..."
"It doesn't matter!" Red snapped waspishly. "I'll make sure you don't drop dead in Canterlot, Corporal. After that, you can go back to sucking ponies dry for all I care!"
She whirled around, leaving the ward and slamming the door shut behind her.
At an hour at which most reasonable earth ponies, unicorns and pegasi were asleep, the bat guard Lighthouse stalked the streets of Ponyville in search of the alien, Skinny. She was dressed in full armor and, as the great Shakespone put it, 'lent her eyes a terrible aspect' that warned the town's few awake inhabitants to stay the hay away. Being a thestral of the old school, Lighthouse enjoyed these little moments of intimidation. They reminded her of the fear she'd put into her victims back when she stole for a living. A completely unfounded fear at that, since Lighthouse had never killed anyone. And since Princess Luna's return and the subsequent introduction of the Moon Juice Potion, she hadn't even sucked blood.
But in spite of her aversion to murder, she did have certain standards. And one of them was that a proper thestral ought to be mad, bad and dangerous to know!
She'd started her search at the cabin of the Element of Kindness, Fluttershy, only to be told that the alien had moved out. It was at times like this that Lighthouse was glad of her ultrasonic hearing, since the yellow pegasus was hushed even by her extreme standards, and choked on her own words before Lighthouse could get anything more out of her. Well, it was none of the guard's business anyway. The only thing that mattered was that Skinny was not there. So where was he?
Lighthouse stopped at the marketplace, where she noticed a second Element, the one of Honesty. Being a farmer, Applejack was the only daytimer Lighthouse could see who didn't have bags under her eyes. In fact, she seemed rather cheerful, whistling a little country tune to herself as she set up an apple stand. She was also considerably more muscular than anypony around, including Lighthouse herself, who made a mental note to get a farm-themed recruitment campaign going when she got back home.
"Applejack."
The orange pony's eyes widened a bit as she took in Lighthouse's fearsome appearance. "Well howdy, mare! Fancy an apple?"
"Information..." Lighthouse said slowly. "And an apple."
"Information, huh? Ah ain't one o' Twilight's books fer sure, but if ya gotta real patient ear, ah can tell ya all bout birds 'n' bees." She smirked.
Lighthouse balked."I... just want to know where Skinny is!"
"Yea, I figured. Ain't nopony interested 'n the finer details o' apple farmin'. Birds and bees do 'n awful lot to help make these juicy fruits a delight!" Applejack pointedly chomped into one. "As fer Skinny, ah did see him, dancin' round the street like a grasshoppah! Think he was headed towards Roseluck's."
Lighthouse harrumphed, and expertly manipulated the spear in her grasp to stab Applejack's apple with the sharp end, toss it in the air and catch it in her teeth.
"What the hay?!" Applejack squeaked, before promptly shutting up as she observed the bat suck the apple into a dry husk right in front of her eyes.
Lighthouse spat it out, and licked her lips clean of juice. "You know, that isn't bad at all! I might come visit sometime." She winked at the farm mare(the latter of whom was still staring at her dried-out life's work in horror) and then set two bits on the table.
"Well, good luck with the sale, Applejack. Let me know if you ever want to do business with the night community. I can show you the ropes!" She giggled inaudibly, the thestral vocal range being much greater than that of the average pony.
As Lighthouse soon discovered, Applejack lived up to her title. Skinny was lying on a bench behind Roseluck's flower store(still closed at these early hours), drunk or simply unconscious. His hair was matted and stuck out at odd angles, his skin covered in the sheen of sweat, his eyes were sunken and his breath irregular. The man looked as if he'd partied for days in a row. There was no considerable scent of alcohol, however.
"Skinny?" Lighthouse asked, and shook him a little. "Mr. Hyoo-man?"
He smacked his lips, and slowly opened his eyes. Lighthouse withdrew a flask from within her armor and poured some water down his throat.
Skinny grunted in relief, and finally focused on the bat's face. He smiled, petting her fluffy cheek. "You're pretty. You're a pretty pony."
By the night, this one's headed towards the nuthouse! Lighthouse thought, thinking of her scars and bitten ear. She couldn't help smiling back, however, as the caress of the fingers was very therapeutic. It wasn't every day that the fierce thestral could think of herself as an object of affection. It was a feeling that, she had to admit, was mutual. For although the hyoo-man was obviously tired and somewhat delirious, there was true, heartfelt joy in his eyes from the sight of her and that, in return, made her happy of him. She couldn't fathom what had caused it, but at that moment it didn't really seem to matter.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"No." He groaned, and withdrew his hand. "I'm losing."
Lighthouse blinked. "Losing-?"
The hyoo-man sprang up, causing her to lose her balance and topple onto the ground. When she looked up, she was astounded by what she saw. The wistful dreaminess of the man had entirely disappeared, replaced by an intense glare. He was stiff-backed, his head raised upwards in the demeanour of a ruler. In a strange way, he reminded Lighthouse of Princess Luna during her worst moments of stubbornness. "What's the time?"
"Um, uh, it's... it's 7:43." Lighthouse replied, and cursed her stuttering in her mind. What's gotten into you? You're in charge here!
Skinny smiled, but it was a cruel, scheming look now. "Then you'd better escort me to the train station, hadn't you?"
She felt slightly betrayed by the abrupt change in personality. Not that she was the cuddly sort at all. No, never. That was just her being... caught off guard. But she'd liked the way he looked at her. That content, happy gaze that she'd somehow elicited. He looked like a pretty hyoo-man that way.
"Alright, I'll escort you then." Skinny broke her train of thought as he roughly grabbed her hoof in an iron grip and led her away, forcing her to awkwardly walk on three hooves and balance on her spear.
No, Skinny wasn't a pretty hyoo-man at all.
"Where are they?" Crimson fidgeted, glancing at the clock. As promised, Nurse Redheart had brought him to the train station first thing in the morning, and the two of them expected to join up with Private Lighthouse and Skinny. However, there was only about five minutes left before the train departed, and there was still no sign of either. "We can't go to Canterlot without Skinny!"
"Oh!" Red squeaked, and pointed towards a large shape emerging from the train's cloud of steam. "There they are!"
It was a rather amusing sight, as Skinny was holding onto Lighthouse's right hoof and dragged her along as if she were an unruly foal. Red smirked at the thestral's obvious embarrassment, feeling a tinge of satisfaction after the disrespectful way she'd been treated by the private.
Crimson Star wheeled himself ahead of her to greet the two. "Morning!" He grinned. "I was starting to get real worried about you two. Looks like you tamed the beastie there, Lighthouse."
The private snarled. "Don't even say it. Can we just go, please?"
"Have you got everything you need, Skinny?" Crimson asked, noticing his lack of baggage.
The hyoo-man shrugged. "We are going to a palace, aren't we?"
Their conversation was halted by the whistle of the conductor, and all four hurried aboard, with Redheart helping to push Crimson's wheelchair on the train.
As the train began rattling away from Ponyville, a lasso whipped through the air and was flung towards the train's rear end, hooking itself onto a pole. The other end of the rope was held tightly in Care Taker's jaw. With highly trained precision, he allowed the train to pull him down onto the tracks, where his roller skates landed against the rails, allowing the pony to effectively hitchhike.
Care Taker pulled himself closer and closer towards the speeding train, finally reaching the door at the end of the final wagon. He paused for just a few seconds to breathe, and discarded the skates. "This looked so much easier in the circus." The blue pony muttered, before standing up. But instead of going through the door, he squeezed himself under the train itself, holding onto the metal frames for dear life. In this fashion, Care Taker slowly made his way to the third wagon from the front, where he pulled out a comfortable leather swing and attached it to either side of the wagon, allowing himself to rest comfortably in extreme danger.
"Time to see what you're made of, you lunatic..." he grunted. Something soft poked him on the shoulder. "Ehh?"
"Hello!" A small pink filly waved. She'd converted a school backpack into her own swing, and was swinging under the train alongside Care Taker. The filly had a finely combed mane of white and light purple, with an expensive tiara woven in. "Are you here to stalk Anon too?" She asked in an innocent tone.
Care Taker blinked. "Uhhhh, well, I suppose I am. Care Taker."
"I am Diamond Tiara! Candy?"
The old pony sniffed at the offer: "I don't take candy from strangers."
"Suit yourself."
Right as Diamond was about to pop one in her mouth, the train shuddered slightly, and the bag full of sweets flew everywhere. "Awww!"
Even Care Taker felt bad. "Orange flavoured? What a pity."
Diamond Tiara shrugged. "I guess I'll get my parents to buy me a new bag when I get back."
"Won't they miss you?"
"Nah, they're riding rainbows today. Uncle Opulent said there's a pot of gold at the end!"
Care Taker rolled his eyes. "Capitalists... well, I see you've already sawed in your periscope. Gaitlach rotary type, I presume, from that shape? Very good choice for espionage activity."
She smiled brightly at the compliment. "I got it from a bag of chips! It's really nice."
"Yes, yes..." the blue pony said. "Do you have 180-degree vision?"
"Um... it's foggy. Here, take a look!"
Care Taker peeked through Diamond's plastic toy. All he could see were faint green shapes and what looked like a... centipede? "Miss Tiara, this is a kaleidoscope. What's your interest in Anon, anyway?" He asked politely, whilst using a brace to drill a small hole into the wagon's floor.
Diamond perked up. "I'm going to find out which mare Anon has a crush on, get my daddy to drive them outta town, then replace them, marry the hyooman, and make many centaur and satyr foals!"
"That seems highly unlikely." Care Taker noted dryly, and tried to squeeze his periscope(disguised under a banana peel) through the gap he'd made. "Have you considered therapy instead?"
The filly stuck her tongue out. "That's what my therapist said. It helps her cope with my problems. And you?"
"I am convinced that Anon and his guard are at the center of a thestral criminal conspiracy to overthrow the Princess Celestia."
"They're too nice." Diamond waved dismissively.
"That's what Zecora said. 'A cute and fluffy bat can't be as bad as that.' I shall have to make my case in front of the Princesses themselves then. And hope that they'll not be blinded by this asinine obsession with friendship that everyone's going on about these days." Care Taker ranted. "You know, it all used to be so simple back in my day. Thestrals, changelings, all manner of night thuggery. You saw them and you kicked the croup out of them! It wasn't a matter of who you trusted or not, it was a matter of fact! And now we're supposed to welcome them with open hooves just because Luna had a change of heart after 2000 years? Pah!"
He peeked through the scope. "Ahh! Now we're getting somewhere. Yes, there you are, you hairless jackanapes! You simian saddle-goose..."
Diamond squinted at the grumbling old hinny, talking so poorly of HER Anon! The fillies who knew her best would have recognised it on the spot as her most venomous, conniving stare, the build-up to some terrible stratagem of the deepest cruelty. It was the kind of horrible look that came before their cookie jars mysteriously emptied.
"Can I see?" She asked angelically.
Care Taker muttered something and pointed the eyepiece in her direction.
"I can't reach!" Diamond complained.
Before the old pony could say anything else, Diamond Tiara pulled herself onto his swing, with one hoof still wrapped around her own. Just as she caught brief glimpses of Anon's delectable smile through the periscope, her other hooves busied themselves with unhooking the straps keeping the larger swing in place.
A satisfying, foalish scream was muffled by the rattling of the wheels as Care Taker fell out of his safety net and between the railway... though he was smart enough to hold perfectly still, letting the train pass him by.
"Howdy, all! Ah don't s'pose there's room for 'nuther pony in 'ere?"
Skinny, Crimson, Nurse Redheart and private Lighthouse, looking rather like tinned sardines in their small compartment, gave the bashful Applejack tired looks.
"What happened to the apple cart?" Lighthouse asked jokingly. "That must've been quite a sale."
Applejack chuckled. "Sure, sure. Nah, Granny Smith's got that covered. Turns out us Apples have inherited a piece o' land in Canterlot. Document arrived jus' this mornin', still smellin' of ink. So ah got booted off mah job to check it out."
"That so, huh?" Lighthouse said, imitating the farm mare's accent. The story sounded a bit convoluted to her, but she wasn't about to question the integrity of one of the Elements. Applejack winked at her. Lighthouse was about to question the integrity of one of the Elements when Redheart interrupted her.
"Hmph! Well, I for one am very happy to have you along. That being said, I really don't think there's any room here."
Applejack glanced at Skinny. "Well, ah beg to differ. Hey, Skinny! Mah friends have been talkin' mah ears off about how good of a... now wha's that word?... masseuse... y'all are." She tapped her stiff back. "This body of mine's seen 20-odd years of nonstop buckin' action. Ya think ya got what it takes to soften it up?"
The hyoo-man chose to indulge her. "Elementary, my dear Applebutt. Get over here."
Applejack grinned, and tossed her bags onto the rack above before stepping into the compartment. She tripped on a banana peel, which seemed to cover a pipe of some kind. "Ah! Horseapples!"
"Oof!" Diamond yelped as Care Taker's telescope knocked her on the head. Unfortunately, she lost balance, her hoof slipped out of the safety net of her small harness, causing her to drop onto the rails, where she was far too busy whining about the pain to try to stand up and be eviscerated by the train. Yes, unfortunate.
By the time she'd gotten over it, the rattling of the wheels had long ended. Care Taker trotted over to her, staring at the back end of the distant vehicle. "By Luna's dusty harness! Now I'll never catch up with them! And you...!"
Diamond gulped as Care Taker steadily approached her, burning fire in his eyes. Yet, he paused, and looked over her shoulder instead. She turned around, noticing a festival in the distance. Colorful tents, kites, happy ponies frolicking loudly in the fields. And...
"B-balloons?" Care Taker muttered.
The little filly's natural greed quickly overrode her fear of the ancient stallion. "Buy me one!" She commanded loudly. She quickly regretted the decision as Care Taker stared down at her with manic intensity.
"Buy you a balloon? Why, I'll buy a dozen! A million! A billion balloons! Say that three times fast!" He laughed. "Come along, come along. I've got a plan!"
"MORE POWER!!" Care Taker screamed from the basket.
Despite the beads of sweat forming on her forehead, the poor balloon owner concentrated even harder, using his magic for the simplest spell - manifesting hot air inside the hundreds of small balloons that the dynamic duo had stolen (in a feat of magnificently cruel daylight robbery) from little ponies at the party. Not that they cared, of course - Anon took priority over wailing foals. Now it was just a matter of speed...
"I'm trying my best!" He wailed.
Diamond Tiara snarled. "If you get us higher, we'll be able to catch stronger winds! Then you won't have to try!"
Driven by his fear of the terrifying filly, he complied and generated even more hot air, propelling their basket ever higher. Soon, Tiara's prediction came true as a gust of cold wind blew them towards Canterlot. The old pony grinned. "Mangy little beasts, I'm on to you! Come to me! Come to me, Canterlot!"
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Why does everypony around me need therapy?"