The nobles of Canterlot are up to their old schemes again. Trying desperately to elevate themselves from mere nobles to that of royalty, the high council begins to pressure both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna into marriage. There is only one problem the two sisters face. As the law of old states, only a pony of nobility or foreign dignitary may be eligible to wed either of the princesses. The two sisters must now find a suitable candidate willing to adhere to the balance of power they had so desperately fought to maintain, or lose their right to rule.
Luckily, there seems to be a certain somebody that meets the strict criteria and who would also not abuse his position as royal consort to the Moon and Sun. Now, if only there was a way to convince him.
((I know I am terrible at writing synopsis, but please don't let that dissuade you from giving my story a chance. Rated T for light cussing, teasing, flirtatious mares, and provocative situations. May change later on depending on how I feel and the input from the readers.))
Update: I finally got a beautiful cover art for the story! It looks so freaking amazing and I am super happy with how it turned out. The artist is super talented and you should all go view her stuff and maybe even commission something from her! I literally can't justify how amazing this picture is!
Artist: Cotton
Thank you all so much for your feedback and support! Because of you all I was featured! *happy pony noises*
Featured
1/20/17
2/02/17
12/05/17
I feel that should be my line whenever I go away for a while and come back.
Anyway, I just have one technical piece of advice. Add spaces between paragraphs, instead of pushing them all together.
By that, I mean not to have this:
I mean this:
While I understand this isn't how actual stories work, it's the best mode of presentation on this site.
And yet there is no Blueblood tag. I give you points for breaking stereotype.
"Best of friend!"
This feels like another Lyra and Bon Bon's "Best Friend".
Hahahahha! Eric, you are so royally fucked!
I'm not sorry for the pun!
Love the story concept
Everything was understandable
But you Los points at being so sudden with Celestia and Luna taking him as their own.
And more points with the heat excuse.
Unles you can redden yourself in the next vhapt then these points will be on hold.
I give you ....
7.75/10
7207568 Thank you for the helpful tip. Whenever I play around with the spacing it just looks really weird to me, and I don't really like the double space for paragraphs. I will continue to play around with it though and try to get it in a more easily read form.
7208409 No need to be sorry. Im glad you enjoyed it!
7208637 Don't worry. I did everything that way on purpose. It's all part of the plan!
A little bit of space between the paragraphs would be nice, otherwise it all looks like one giant wall of text, it's just plain hurts to read.
The concept is curious, but skipping the part where they actualy "ask" him, is kind of confusing, you could maybe add it, or perhaps split into two chapters? Otherwise it looks kinda rushed.
I should probably skip the part where i point any grammar, whereas my own skills aren't something to dream about, therefore i leave it to those gentlemen with IQ higher than yours truly.
Well, that would conclude my humble opinion that nobody cares about, good luck.
7209564 I just fixed the spacing issue. You and Jarvy both commented on it and I thank you for bringing it to my attention. I didn't really have a problem reading it, though I guess that is either because it is my own work or i'm just used to reading clumped up paragraphs. And I purposefully left out that one part. Don't worry everything will be explained in chapter 2!
You sir, got my attention, I will wait for the next chapter, although I'm a bit conflicted, Eric first act a bit like an asshole and enter the room like he own the place (I swear I almost heard 'Back in Black, from ACDC' playing in the background as he was walking in and soaking in the insults) but then boom you show us that he is actually a bit shy.
Did that scene was simple an act the 3 pull to politely and subtlety give the nobles the bird?
Also is he shy or confident of himself? because I got confused with that little ending.
that is all, over all I like this story and I would like to see how it goes.
I LIKE HIM!!! will there be backstory?
7211112 In due time my friend! I have a pretty good idea with how this story will flow. Just need to sit down and etch it all out onto my computer before editing it. Though we will learn a lot about Eric, so don't worry!
Please tell me this entire first chapter was just setup for that pun at the end. Because if so, even better.
The most rushed rush that ever rushed.
7212770 Someone else also said that it was a bit too rushed. Do you mind telling me why you think that?
7212322 Maybe... <.< >.>
7212899
I know I'm not the one being asked, but I'll give my two cents anyway. In my opinion, it seems kinda rushed because, as of right now with only this one chapter, there's really no explanation on how it happened or why he accepted. It was like there was nothing and then BAM the next second they're suddenly engaged and wanting sex (Celestia and Luna anyway). I would go into further detail if I could but I can't completely think properly right now. Other than that whole thing, I'm excited to see where this goes.
7212899 Well the first part was when Celestia and Luna were getting the human guy and then it just skips to where they are breaking the news to the nobles. (Did they get married in less than a week?)
Then suddenly the guy pops in, we don't know anything about him, we don't know what he thought about Celestia and Luna's suggestion, we don't know what happened at all in the week after they asked him for help.
And then they are suddenly in bed, Celestia and Luna are super horny. (for some reason)
Olay you recovered you points!
Keep going
Would't someone who is best friends with Luna recognise when she is joking? The situation probably wasn't foreign considering how comfortable he was with getting mostly naked in bed with them, I also doubt that was the first time Luna made a lude flirty joke around him if they are really good friends and she is the type to make those kinds of jokes. Perhaps I'm misinterpreting something.
It's a nice story, just that part bugs me for some reason.
barely able to grab his discarded pair of pants and completely forgoing his shirt that "lye"at the foot
I think you mean lay.
Enjoying the story.
7214765
Well normally, he might had catch on but because of the situation, the 'heat', the plan to get the noble of their backs, maybe it just slip his mind
So…Eric, can became a fusion of Rainbow Dash y Applejack when corner? good to know, although he might felt a bit guilty for launching Luna into a wall in an panic attack.
Also, yeah backstory time, we are finally going to discover how all this start.
7214765 You are not mistaken. The next chapter I plan on delving more into the personality of both Luna and Celestia, along with Eric. It should all make sense once the next chapter comes out.
7214894 Fixed! Thank you for catching that mistake!
7216404 You're welcome.
Copper's his friend huh?
Wait a second.
*Looks at title*
Oh you mother...
7216901
So you are saying Eric is a Fox?
Hey I just though of something, if a royal weeding need a princess to act as the priest who is going to be the priest of Celestia and Luna? or are they intending to be the priest for each other? Because that could turn confusing.
Oh! do you imagine they capture and chain Chrysalis so she is force to be priest of their wedding…is?
7219585 There is always Cadence or Twilight now!
7219969
Oh right, forgot about that.
Lets see, Twilight as the priest…
"Love, the dictionary defies it as the culmination of pheromones and mental stimulations, product of constant contact, of the likes of visual, fiscal and sonar nature, now if you put attention to page 3 of my little essay I make for this occasion…"
Cadence as the priest…
"Do you Eric take my aunts as your beloved wifes in health and sickness, in wealth and poorness, for the rest of our eternal life and became part of the royal family as well as the greatest uncle for Flurry Heart…"
Yeah I think Cadence is more suitable for the job
i would like to see how celestia persuade him to marry them, you kind of left that out
7222967 It will all be explained in the next chapter!
Interesting. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
7223221
Will the next chapter would arrive soon?
7230452 It might be a few days. I have been working and still have school unfortunately. So I don't have that much time to write.
7230472
Got it, don't worry we can wait
7230472
Still no news on the next chapter?
Hey assholes, did you miss me?”
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Best way to enter a room with stuck up pricks
You have officially made a watch out of me
good story keep it up
More!! I like where this is heading.
Oh marriage between a human and the royal sisters well I'm hooked
MMMMMMMMMMM TASTY 10/10, IGN
8/8 will masturb8
Hopefully we get a new chapter soon. I'd like to know how the sisters sold this marriage to him
This story does need to be upped to M rating.
7451656 Indeed, I am hooked as well, its not common to have something like this happen in a story, especially how our hero of the day seems a little displeased with the whole 'having sex with your friends who just so happen to be royalty'. It could be worse though, he could be married to Blueblood
7452161
We don't speak of that fate worse than death around here.
7453822 Yes, the fate worse than death...We should all be glad that none of us are married to that waste of meat. I wonder what could be worse than him though.