• Member Since 9th Jan, 2023
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


Chaos rains, reins, and reigns.


You’ve seen Humans in Equestria… but have you seen them done quick? Will PonyRunner420 crumble under the pressure of one frame tricks, uninvited couch commentators, and suspiciously self-aware NPCs, or will he successfully kill Celestia in record time?

A short story about the magic of speedrunning, and it’s power to bring people across the world (and across dimensions) together with the common goal of raising money for charity, and just killing Celestia really fast.

Featured 2023/01/10. You’re supposed to brag about this here right

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 180 )

What an odd idea. Let's see how our hero manages.

... And I thought nornal HIE was stupid. This beats them easily.

This fic is a mess I have no idea what I’m doing.

You are creating chaos, and it's beautiful.

this is dumb. looking forward to the rest!

Okay, you have me intrigued. Looking forward to seeing where this madness goes next. And if anypony can break out of the programming. (I assume the run avoids Pinkie entirely if it can. Nothing speedrunners hate more than RNG.)

I don't know what's going to happen next.

All I know.

Is that it's going to happen fast.

I'm excited to see where this goes.

holy shit bro, this is a whole new level of stupid, the good kind, and I'm all for it. I hope more comes out soon so I can continue laughing my ass off

This is great! Please do more!

Well, this is going to be a very unique story.

Can't think of the last time anyone has completed an any percent kill Celestia story. I can't even fathom any method by which it could be accomplished.

Suicide via repeated/epic facehoof.

Hmm, that sounds like a workable exploit. :)

Don't know why, but I would really prefer it if the Rainbow Dash fan would be quiet.

Assassinate Celestia% is going to go so well.

Just avoid Pinkie Pie.

Bold of you to assume there won’t be any RNG manipulation :raritywink:

I didnt even began to read this story but AMAZING Work, literally change my life.

This is amazing. Must read more.

I am loving what I am reading :rainbowlaugh:

11474675 11474767
"Pinkie Pie is a black-hole and would absolutely eat up all of our time with party nonsense. But... if we manage to upset her enough to turn into Pinkamema before she can start a party, Maud Pie would kick our ass halfway up the Canterhorn, which actually shaves off time getting to Canterlot even with the added cutscene of getting rescued from a ledge!"

- Head to the post office and start Derpy's sidequest, get the parcel quest item

-Open the parcel immediately and sell the present(fails the quest, doesn't matter), use the bits at the train station to travel to the frozen north

- Get to the edge of the frozen north where the map border of Mt.Everhoof is barely in reach

- Roll and fall between two rocks bordering the mountain and fall through the map, respawning at the base of Mt.Everhoof and thereby bypassing all entry requirements

- Since none of the Villains are there to trigger the quest sequences, just climb up the mountain and clip through the barrier using the cart exploit

- Pick up Grogar's bell, which immediately starts and completes the "Beginning of the End" questline

- Cheese Celestia fight by standing on a very specific spot between a bookcase and a barrel on the right corner of the arena, where none of her attacks can hit you

- Keep using Grogar's bell off cooldown and Kill Celestia, getting Bad Ending #14

Loving this so far. The juxtaposition between the AGDQ gang's exposition/applause and the ponies' bewilderment at the gamereality-breaking insanity was golden, and I'm willing to bet it'll get even more hilariously zany as the yellow pony does more and more awful things for the bad ending.

"Y-You've destroyed the Elements! How… HOW COULD YOU!?!?"


Congrats on the first fic, and best of luck with proving that you "definitely have the motivation to finish" the rest!

I've coughed and gagged laughing so hard at this! Great work!

There’s already so much creativity in this. Can’t wait for more.

Ooh, I will be watching this with great interest...

chat spamming BASIC MingLee LEE MingLee

inaccurate; ever since GDQ switched to subs-only, chat has been fucking dead every event.

y'know, seeing this premise, I thought this would be something poorly-written and stupid. Instead, it's hilarious and I'm sorta invested. Cheers for a creative and more-importantly *well-executed* fic, hope you keep it up! :)

This premise is so clever, it's got me thinking about what if other fics were games. This is almost like cosmic horror but we are the cosmic horror

This is actually great, many peaple underestimate the comedic effect of confusion, but not you and I love it.

I fucking love Speedruns-from-the-perspective-of-in-game-(or-faux-game)-characters stories. I remember this one on Spacebattles about a Worm Speedrun that was pretty wild.

I see they used Dr.Horse strat. While effective and easy to perform, It isn't the best one, cause you still have to go though the cutscenes.

yes but the no-clip Pinkie Pile Driver route requires frame perfect inputs so not really the most advisable for tourney or on stage performance

Hey obama, whats your last name
I forgor

It'd be more interesting if this was a horror story parodying Under Tale genocide route from the perspective of the in-game characters.

As is, I can't say it managed to entertain me.

I cannot put into words how much I love this.

The thing is, it's Kill Celestia%, not Genocide%. Reading the wrong story for that mate...

This is absolutely bloody brilliant, I love it!

Make sure to make a slight detour to Ponyville Park and pick up the [Box of Sapphire Cupcakes] so that you can unlock Spike's friendship skill the first time you encounter him without backtracking.

Unless the Sun stops revolving without Celestia moving it and everypony fries~!:scootangel:

Has that clip even been performed in a proper run, yet? I thought it was still TAS-only.


An indeterminate number of centuries later, a unicorn felt a tingling down her spine, certain that a bond of kinship had been forged across the millennia.

I don't get it. FOE?

“Spoilers, but we skip the party”.

oh no

Poor Lyra.

So, while the speedrunner is in some strange quasi-self-aware game, all sorts of tricks still work. Interesting... And hilarious. Looking forward to the next one ;)

He was phasing through her body.


...haha I would never do something like that~”


You don't Speedrun Friendship is Optimal. When you're done with your first playthrough, there isn't any free energy left for a second one.

Also, PDQ.

Equestria is going to get turned upside down as Ponyrunner/a speed run through. Pretty simple story concept yet very funny! I love seeing everypony’s reaction to a player using exploits and glitches to get around. Also his commentary. Just imagine the “game” breaking because a spouts on about going to kill Princess Celestia. This insane pony wants to kill the alicorn who can control the sun? Cannot wait to see how they perceive him using his inventory.

Only four minutes into the speed run!



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