I Need a Drink
Celestia released a heavy sigh as she peered over the edge of the spacious bed. Luna, who moments ago had been straddling the helpless human, was now lying on the cold tile floor as part of her light blue comforter obscured her form.
“You sort of deserved that Luna,” Celestia chided, before levitating her sister softly onto the bed. It was at this moment that Luna released a heavy sigh of her own, having not realized how her bout of teasing was affecting Eric.
“We believe our form of jesting has overstepped certain bounds sister,” Luna admitted with a small frown. The dark blue Alicorn was slowly wrapped in a sisterly embrace as Celestia lovingly nuzzled her cheek. The two sisters remained in each other’s embrace, finding a comfort and warmth that seemed so familiar and safe when they held each other close.
“Do you think he will be upset with us?” Luna softly asked. Celestia, knowing Eric’s character far too well, wasted no time in dismissing her sister’s worries.
“Eric is not the type of person to hold something like this against you. It has caused him a high level of discomfort I will admit, but I believe once you explain the situation to him and that you were merely joking, he will be more relieved than upset,” Celestia answered. Her comforting words had the desired effect she was hoping for, as Luna lightly nuzzled under her sister’s chin.
“Thank you sister. Your words help put our mind at ease,” Luna admitted. A long moment of silence quickly fell between the two sisters before Luna’s soft giggling pulled Celestia from her thoughts.
“And what exactly seems so funny to you Luna?” Celestia questioned with a raised brow. Luna quickly gained control of her giggles as she locked eyes with her sister.
“The way Eric had reacted was rather comical, wouldn’t you agree?” Luna asked, accompanied with another fit of giggles. Celestia couldn’t help but join in with her sister, remembering the scene but moments ago.
Eric was helplessly trapped under the dark blue Alicorn, her warm tongue tracing the contours of his toned form. Luna’s half-lidded eyes locked with that of the human’s as she gently lowered her muzzle next to his ear.
“It started today,” Luna sultry stated. Nothing but silence filled the air as Luna patiently waited for Eric’s reaction. What she didn’t expect was Eric to literally buck her silly, sending the surprised mare and comforter to the ground with a yelp. Free from the confines of the overly anxious mare, Eric made a hasty retreat towards the door, barely able to grab his discarded pair of pants and completely forgoing his shirt that lay at the foot of the bed. With a speed that would put even the most experienced Wonderbolt to shame, Eric was out the door.
Celestia brought a hoof up to her muzzle as her giggle fit increased. It was a comical site indeed, one that she had never expected from the human, though he always was a bit random and unpredictable in awkward situations.
“I would have to agree Luna. Perhaps this will make for a good story in time?” The elder sister pondered aloud. Luna, having finally contained her fit of giggles, nodded her head in agreement. With one last sisterly nuzzle from each other; the two Alicorn’s drifted off in a much-needed rest.
Only a few minutes had passed since Eric’s narrow escape from the clutches of his overly provocative fiancé. The lone human thanked his lucky stars that he was able to escape; though soon found a desperate need to relieve the stress that Luna had put him through. Despite his reluctance to normally consume alcohol, he needed a drink. He didn’t care what it was to be honest; he just needed some liquid consolation to help get him through the rest of the day. It just so happened to be his luck that a certain brown-coated earth pony turned down one of the many corridors before walking into view.
“Copper!” Eric yelled across the hall, quickly running up to the guard. Turning his head quickly in the direction of the voice, Copper gave the human a hesitant glance as he stared at Eric’s half naked body.
“What in Tartarus happened to you?” Copper questioned, as his dark green eyes continued to scan the human with confusion. Eric waved a hand dismissively before noticing his friend’s lack of armor.
“It’s a long story. I assume you just got off work?” Eric questioned, though his voice sounded more of a plea. Copper nodded his head, eliciting a sigh of relief from Eric.
“Good. Then perhaps you would like to accompany me for a drink. God knows I need it after what just happened,” Eric stated with a hopeful tone. Copper, picking up on his friend’s distress, was more than happy to accompany the human for a few rounds of drinks. It wasn’t very often Eric would indulge in the consumption of alcohol and Copper knew that quite well. It was even rarer for him to be the one asking, which meant that something was really eating away at the human. Pulling himself from his thoughts, Copper smiled warmly up at Eric.
“I don’t see why not. If you are asking to get drunk, then something serious must have happened?” Copper replied. Eric quickly shook his head at Copper’s statement before sighing.
“I don’t want to get drunk, I just need something for my thoughts and time to think,” Eric corrected before continuing. “And it would be nice to do so with the company of a friend,” he quickly added. Wasting no time, Copper put a comforting hoof on Eric’s side, seeing as how he wasn’t tall enough to reach Eric’s shoulder. The cold-metal horseshoe and lack of a shirt caused the unsuspecting human to jump from the contact.
“Damn Copper, watch where you put that thing. It’s freaking cold,” Eric scolded with a shiver. Copper quickly pulled his hoof away with an apologetic grin.
“Sorry about that. I always forget you don’t have a coat like us,” he stated before pausing for a moment. “And if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your shirt? Don’t you normally wear one?” Copper curiously questioned. Having recovered from the stinging sensation of the cold horseshoe, Eric nodded his head.
“I do, but as I said earlier, it is a long story,” Eric stated, before continuing. “And one that is best told after a few rounds of free drinks.” Copper’s ears quickly shot up at the notion of free drinks.
“Free drinks you say? I assume that means you are paying for them?” Copper quickly asked, receiving a nod from Eric. Before the human had a chance to understand what was going on, he was being all but dragged down the series of corridors that led to the front gates of the castle.
It took only twenty minutes or so of walking to finally reach their destination. Seeing as how Copper was more familiar with the area and had much more experience with bars, Eric let the stallion choose where the two would drink. By no means was the establishment Copper chose a high-end bar with overly expensive drinks, but one that he was quite familiar with.
“Stonewall Brewery?” Eric said aloud, reading the dark metal sign that hung from two metal chains in the front window.
“It may not look it, but this place has some of the best brews in Canterlot. One of the hidden gems only the locals would know about,” the overly anxious stallion stated. With a shrug of the human’s shoulders, Eric and Copper soon found themselves inside and seated at the bar.
“So what do you think of the place? Pretty cool huh?” Copper asked, making small talk as the bartender helped another patron.
“I don’t see why you think this place is so special. Looks like a regular bar to me,” Eric replied. Before Copper could counter his argument, another voice broke the two out of their conversation.
“Well it seems you will just have to experience it for yourself then?” a feminine voice spoke from behind the counter. Looking up at the new voice, Eric was pleasantly surprised to find a young adult mare behind the counter. Her grey coat and dark blue mane were nothing special in the eyes of the human, though what really caught his attention were the two leathery wings nestled snuggly against the mare’s side. Eric had seen a few of these ponies before, though usually during the night shift of the guard. So it was quite a surprise to find one working during this time of the day.
“I know I am quite beautiful, though I do believe staring is a bit rude, wouldn’t you agree?” the mare teased. Eric, not realizing he had been staring while lost in thought, gave the mare an apologetic smile.
“I'm sorry about that. I'm just not used to seeing Thestrals too often,” the human commented. The mare behind the counter let out an overly dramatic sigh of relief.
“Ugh, finally. Somepony who doesn’t call me a batpony and actually knows what I am,” the mare stated with a smile. This brought a light chuckle from both Eric and Copper as the mare set two menus in front of them.
“Go ahead and take a look at our menu. Our specialty drinks are listed on the left side and if you are feeling hungry, we have our appetizers and entrees on the right. If you have any questions, feel free to ask,” the mare happily chirped, before walking off to give Eric and Copper a few moments to look over the menu.
After tending to a few other patrons, the mare promptly returned a few minutes later with a notepad and pen held expertly in her two wings.
“Have you two decided on your orders?” the mare politely asked. Copper wasted no time with ordering one of the most expensive drinks on the menu, along with an order of fried tofu wings. Eric shook his head with a small laugh as the sight brought back memories. His sister had always had a craving for whatever the most expensive thing on the menu was. Call it her sixth sense, even without the prices listed on the menu, she somehow knew.
Recovering from his bout of laughter, Eric looked up towards the patient mare.
“I would like the real wings please, with a side of ranch dressing. As for the drink, I want something fruity and strong, possibly with watermelon. Have anything like that?” Eric asked. The mare nodded her head with a smile.
“We have a drink that has watermelon juice as the base, mixed in with vodka and parasprite.”
“That sounds wonderful. I’ll take that as well,” Eric replied, before folding up his menu and handing it back to the mare.
“Oh and I forgot to ask, is this on separate checks or,” the poor mare didn’t have time to finish as Copper responded.
“It’s all on one check,” the stallion enthusiastically stated, his tail lightly swishing from side to side in his seat. The mare couldn’t help but giggle at the site before nodding and retreating to the kitchen to place the orders.
“I know guards don’t get paid that much but damn. You sure are happy about a free meal.” Eric asked rather amusedly. Copper’s happy look quickly turned to one of guilt.
“It’s not that I don’t make enough, so much as the fact that I have more bills to pay than the average guard,” Copper admitted with a pause. “My family isn’t really that well off at the moment. Sure, we make enough to get by, but at the same time, we just don’t have that much extra income to spare. Ever since I got a job as a royal guard, I have been sending part of my paycheck to my family in Manehattan. I'm just worried that they won’t have enough to retire and live on comfortably. I know medication gets expensive, especially the older you get. I just want to make sure that if something bad does happen, they will be able to afford whatever it is they need,” Copper finished with a sigh. A comforting hand soon found its way onto the stallion’s withers as a wave of relaxation filtered through his body.
“I know that sentiment all too well. I was raised in a middle-class environment. We had more than we needed, but still not everything that we wanted. As time went on I slowly began to understand the importance of money. Everything changed though when the stock market crashed. My father lost his job and we had to live off of our savings and my mother’s income. It wasn’t that bad, we just became really cheap and prioritized what we needed over what we thought we needed. Even during that difficult time we were able to save some money, though I could tell they were still worried about their future, as well as ours,” Eric finished. There was a moment of silence before Copper scrunched his nose in confusion.
“Wait, you said that your parents were worried about their own future as well as ‘ours’. Does that mean that you had other siblings?” The stallion questioned.
“Yeah, I did have another sibling, an older sister. Actually, you remind me of her a bit,” Eric stated with a light laugh. Copper didn’t much like being compared to a female, especially one not of this world; though his curiosity had gotten the better of him.
“And how do I remind you of her?” Copper hesitantly questioned. It took Eric a moment to settle down from his small fit of laughter, though he couldn’t really blame the hesitation in Copper’s tone.
“For starters, you both seem to order the most expensive thing on the menu whenever someone else is paying,” Eric playfully teased. Despite his brown coat, a light blush was barely visible on the poor stallion’s cheeks.
“I’m sorry for ordering the most expensive thing they had. If you want, I can help pay for my meal as well,” Copper stated in a guilty tone. He was quickly met with another small chuckle from his friend.
“Copper, I don’t mind spoiling you at all. I have more bits than I know what to do with. If I'm being honest, I would much rather spend my money on friends, then let it sit in an account somewhere and gather dust. That is, as long as I have enough put away in savings and investments. Though honestly, I don’t think I will ever have to worry about my financial situation ever again.” Eric stated.
“And why would you not have to worry about your financial situation?” Copper inquired. It was at that moment the mare from before returned from the kitchen with two drinks balanced skillfully on her back.
“Alright, we have the Melon Twister for you and the Sanguine Blossom for the lovely stallion,” the mare stated, accompany Copper’s drink with a playful wink as she used her wing to set the drink on the counter. Copper couldn’t quite handle the complement as his cheeks turned a light shade of red once again. The mare behind the counter only giggled at his reaction before leaving the two to their conversation.
“She seems nice. I think she likes you,” Eric stated, more so in an attempt to tease his friend than just to state the obvious. Copper quickly began sipping his drink, trying his best to ignore the human and quell the blush still fresh on his cheeks.
“Yeah, yeah. She's always like this when I come in here. Anyways, you never did tell me why you no longer have to worry about your financial situation,” Copper stated, trying desperately to change the subject. It was now Eric’s turn to turn a light shade of red, sipping on his drink as he thought about the best way to approach the conversation.
“Well, I sort of might be engaged to both princess Celestia and Luna,” Eric nonchalantly stated. The human figured the best way to divulge this sort of information to his friend was to just be blunt about it. Unfortunately, Eric’s approach had backfired as Copper sprayed his alcoholic beverage all over the half-naked human.
“You’re what?” Copper yelled, sending himself into a coughing fit. Eric, to his credit, was sort of expecting that reaction out of his friend. Reaching over the counter, he grabbed a dry rag before wiping himself down. After cleaning most of the beverage off of himself, Eric replaced the rag behind the counter just as Copper was recovering from his little scene.
“Please tell me I just heard you right. Did you just say you are engaged to both of my bosses?” Eric chuckled a bit at the way Copper worded it, though quickly nodded his head in confirmation.
“Y-yeah. Some things happened and I’m now engaged,” Eric stated as he sipped his drink. The watermelon-flavored alcohol burned and refreshed the human’s throat. He did have to admit; it was a very good drink. He would have to tip the bartender extra well, especially if she embarrassed Copper a bit more. Eric was quickly pulled from his thoughts as two hooves planted themselves firmly on his shoulder. Copper, the once shy and overly anxious stallion had adopted a look of pure seriousness.
“Tell me everything,” Copper demanded, his voice low and seething with the need for information. Knowing full well that the conversation would bind the two patrons to the bar for the next few hours, Eric flagged down the bartender before ordering another round of drinks. If Eric knew anything about Copper, it’s that he loved to gossip. And he had practically given Copper a silver platter of information just waiting to be devoured. With a heavy sigh, a recurring thought passed through the human’s mind.
This is going to be a long day
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Would't someone who is best friends with Luna recognise when she is joking? The situation probably wasn't foreign considering how comfortable he was with getting mostly naked in bed with them, I also doubt that was the first time Luna made a lude flirty joke around him if they are really good friends and she is the type to make those kinds of jokes. Perhaps I'm misinterpreting something.
It's a nice story, just that part bugs me for some reason.
barely able to grab his discarded pair of pants and completely forgoing his shirt that "lye"at the foot
I think you mean lay.
Enjoying the story.
7214765
Well normally, he might had catch on but because of the situation, the 'heat', the plan to get the noble of their backs, maybe it just slip his mind
So…Eric, can became a fusion of Rainbow Dash y Applejack when corner? good to know, although he might felt a bit guilty for launching Luna into a wall in an panic attack.
Also, yeah backstory time, we are finally going to discover how all this start.
7214765 You are not mistaken. The next chapter I plan on delving more into the personality of both Luna and Celestia, along with Eric. It should all make sense once the next chapter comes out.
7214894 Fixed! Thank you for catching that mistake!
7216404 You're welcome.
Copper's his friend huh?
Wait a second.
*Looks at title*
Oh you mother...
7216901
So you are saying Eric is a Fox?
Hey I just though of something, if a royal weeding need a princess to act as the priest who is going to be the priest of Celestia and Luna? or are they intending to be the priest for each other? Because that could turn confusing.
Oh! do you imagine they capture and chain Chrysalis so she is force to be priest of their wedding…is?
7219585 There is always Cadence or Twilight now!
7219969
Oh right, forgot about that.
Lets see, Twilight as the priest…
"Love, the dictionary defies it as the culmination of pheromones and mental stimulations, product of constant contact, of the likes of visual, fiscal and sonar nature, now if you put attention to page 3 of my little essay I make for this occasion…"
Cadence as the priest…
"Do you Eric take my aunts as your beloved wifes in health and sickness, in wealth and poorness, for the rest of our eternal life and became part of the royal family as well as the greatest uncle for Flurry Heart…"
Yeah I think Cadence is more suitable for the job
i would like to see how celestia persuade him to marry them, you kind of left that out
7222967 It will all be explained in the next chapter!
Interesting. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
7223221
Will the next chapter would arrive soon?
7230452 It might be a few days. I have been working and still have school unfortunately. So I don't have that much time to write.
7230472
Got it, don't worry we can wait
7230472
Still no news on the next chapter?
You have officially made a watch out of me
good story keep it up
More!! I like where this is heading.
Oh marriage between a human and the royal sisters well I'm hooked
MMMMMMMMMMM TASTY 10/10, IGN
8/8 will masturb8
Hopefully we get a new chapter soon. I'd like to know how the sisters sold this marriage to him
7451656 Indeed, I am hooked as well, its not common to have something like this happen in a story, especially how our hero of the day seems a little displeased with the whole 'having sex with your friends who just so happen to be royalty'. It could be worse though, he could be married to Blueblood
7452161
We don't speak of that fate worse than death around here.
7453822 Yes, the fate worse than death...We should all be glad that none of us are married to that waste of meat. I wonder what could be worse than him though.
7453861
...two Bluebloods?
7453863 But that would mean there was two of those things walking around at all times...how has no one killed them yet?
7453876
Magic, I guess?
Cheeks?
*Checks.
7455734 Thank you! I just fixed it.
And here we find another person that doesn't know what a thestral is.
Here’s a hint.
Now having read that; try and explain how this-
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/gyropedia/images/c/c9/FANMADE_Bat_pony.png/revision/latest?cb=20131005030942
is this.
booksatruestory.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/thestral.jpg
Honestly, it’s like telling people that a shark is actually a dolphin because they look similar.
7535185 That, my dear friend, would violate several laws. Though it would have made things much easier.
7462679
In much the same way these poorly drawn ponies from the show are the same as a real world pony. Artistic interpretation. All mythological creatures started with one writer. The pegasus started from one storyteller over 100 years ago. in 300 years Thestrals will stand along side unicorns and dragons as an old school mythological creature. Just like Spike the dragon bears no resemblance to JRR Tolkins dragons, other writers will make Thestrals filtered through their own vision. Basketball playing, sneaker wearing Thestrals, anything. You name it, there will be a Thestral of it.
Now personally I don't know if the show calls the night guard race Thestrals, but I hope that they do, because "Bat pony" or "Vampony" just dumbs down the show and reenforces the belief that there can be no good MLP content for an adult reading audience. That would be a shame, because I have read fan fiction here that are works of art. Stories like "Faun", "Drawn with the night", "Xenophilia", and "Shifting Melodies" all deserve better than to be dismissed as childish rubbish. Which is what most people consider MLP.
I like the idea of this story...
Hope I didn't find another dead story I rather like this one
I like this human.
I shall wait for another chapter.
I laughed so hard at Eric's entrance and Luna's trolling I still have tears in my eyes. I do hope you continue this story SociallyAwkwardPegasus. I find it a riot already. Here have a like and a follow.
Unless we are unsure whether or not Copper inquired, there should be a period at the end.
It's not often the human has any guy friends. I like this Copper fella!
7916775
This instantly elevated this story from "mild interest" to "okay, this is good."
This is a great story so far but I got to ask is this story a carry on from anther story because the way its written its sound more like a sequel from a older story?
10653269
It is not a sequel from another story.
The Stonewall chapter was a riot 🙂